Wake Up and Dream
by harperpitt
Summary: Sequel to You Were There. Bella and Edward have been very happily married for three months, and both have thriving careers – there's bound to be jealous minds. And then, there's also Edward's deep longing to have a family with Bella… AH, canon couplings
1. Silver Moon

**A/N:**

**Welcome to the sequel to _You__Were__There_. If you have read it, you'll know from my A/N that I have been planning this sequel for some time. If you didn't read _You__Were__There_, I can't guarantee that this will always make sense.**

**Thanks to every one of you who supported me through YWT; you are the ones I'm doing this for. **

**I do not own Twilight.**

**All chapter titles, as well as the story title, are songs by Cole Porter. **

**Thank you from the deepest depths of my heart to my wonderful, incomparable, brilliant beta, dellaterra. **

**Any remaining typo, grammatical or other errors are mine.**

**ooOoOoÖoOoOoo**

Chapter One: **Silver****Moon**

**BELLA**

"Happy anniversary, my love."

Edward raises his glass and clinks it against mine. We both take a sip before he pulls me close to his chest.

"Happy three-month anniversary," I smile, and our lips meet in a soft kiss.

This will never get old, the love that courses through my veins when I feel him, taste him. His skin is warm from spending the day in the sun, and he smells like the sun too.

"I love you," he murmurs against my lips. "I love you so much, my little lamb."

His lashes brush over my cheekbone as his lips kiss a path to my ear.

"I love you too." I twine my arms around his neck. "You're everything to me." I sigh when I feel his lips touch the sensitive area under my ear. "I've never been so happy."

"Mmm…" Edward's breath tickles me pleasantly. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me…"

Some long kisses and whispered endearments later, we settle down to have dinner. After four weeks, the view of the Tuscan fields in the twilight still amazes me. The rich greens and yellows of the endless plains are divided by tall cypress trees bordering the fields and country roads. In the far distance, the sky is still tinted with the deep pinks and oranges of another spectacular sunset.

"Coming here was the best decision ever," I inform Edward, feeding him a piece of _bruschetta._

He smiles happily, his green eyes twinkling, as he tickles my knee.

"It was, wasn't it?"

We kiss, and I allow myself to bask in our little bubble. Well, actually, it's a huge bubble we've been living in for the past month, and I'm enjoying every minute. Every single day convinces me even more that Edward and I are truly made for each other. We may be different in some ways, but we're always on the same page where it counts.

I catch Edward smiling at me with his head slightly cocked to one side, wearing that crooked grin I love so much.

"What?" I ask him, teasing him by tickling his ear.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about how lucky I am. I have a beautiful wife who loves me, she's a Broadway star -"

"I'm not a star!" I interrupt him, snorting.

"I saw you give _autographs_the last time I collected you after the show," Edward insists, kissing me.

"One," I mumble against his lips. "I gave _one_autograph to a guy in his seventies."

"Doesn't matter," he whispers as he continues to kiss me. "You're a star. A beautiful, sexy star."

Nothing is better than kissing my husband, so we continue to do just that for quite some time. We are getting carried away a little until Edward tells me that he needs to look after our main dish so it won't burn.

By the time we eat our _filetto__al__balsamico_, it's almost dark and Edward has lit a lot of candles, alongside several anti-mosquito lights. Edward likes to make fun of me, claiming that my blood must be so delicious, but I don't know why these devils pounce only on me, leaving Edward blissfully unbitten. It's the same with tanning: I'll only get red if I sit in the sun, while Edward looks even more gorgeous than usual with his skin slightly bronzed.

As always, the food he prepared is delicious, and I tell him so numerous times. We chat about this and that, mainly our trip to Florence the other day. We'd been there three times, so I wasn't as awe-struck as before. This time, Edward showed me the Boboli Gardens and the Palazzo Pitti.

Sometimes, I still find it strange that I am Mrs. Cullen now. I mean, I have a different name now. How weird is that? I'm still keeping Isabella Swan as my stage name though.

I'm glad we waited to be married. Edward's proposal came less than a year after we'd met, and even though we both knew that it was what we wanted, we waited for another sixteen months to tie the knot.

Time has flown since that December night when Edward asked me to marry him. After the huge success of Cornelius' production of _Cat__on__a__Hot__Tin__Roof_, I didn't have problems in finding work any longer. I was Lady Macbeth in his version of the play, acted in two short films and did a TV drama. There were readings, auditions, and a week of filming for a smaller part in a romantic comedy.

Thanks to Cornelius and my agent, Laurent, I am now able to choose to do what I want. I never planned on a Hollywood career anyway. I just want to act in plays with people I respect and like.

While Edward and I talk and touch and laugh, the little black cat that visits us every night around this time makes its appearance, and Edward goes to the kitchen and fills the plastic bowl he bought in the village. He adores the cat and I just know that he'd like to take her with us if that were possible; but apart from the complications at Customs, I'm not sure how Cedric would react to an intruder into his kingdom.

While Edward tends to his small friend, I clear the table and load the dishwasher in the spacious, rustic kitchen. I'll be sorry to leave here in a few days. I love it here, and with Edward as my guide, I've even learnt a lot of stuff.

Like how sexy it is to hear him speak Italian. I never realized he was that good at it, even though it shouldn't have surprised me, since he lived in Italy for three months before he went to Harvard.

"Hey, baby."

Edward is leaning against the doorframe, looking good enough to eat in his low-riding jeans and a white t-shirt. His feet are bare on the terracotta tiles and I smile because I love his big toes.

_Call me strange, but you know what they say about men with big feet, right? In Edward's case, it's actually true._

When I look at him, Edward has this lazy, sexy smile on his face.

"Care for a little walk in the garden?"

"Yes." I take his hand.

The garden is large and beautiful, with a pool that glitters like liquid silver in the moonlight. It is silent but for the chirping of crickets and the low rustle of cypress trees in the mild breeze. We stand in the middle of the lawn, the pool to our left and the terrace to our right. I lean back against Edward's chest and he nuzzles my neck with his nose while his hands slide beneath the hem of my silk top, tenderly brushing the skin of my stomach. Soft, warm lips caress the tender spot under my ear and I close my eyes, my body reacting instantly to his touch.

After more than two years, our physical connection hasn't become less exciting in any way; if possible, it's become stronger. We're so close, and it's never stifling or boring. Quite the opposite. I get fidgety when he's not around.

This January, he went to a conference in Toronto. He was away for ten days, and beforehand, I was horribly afraid that I might react like that one time, almost two years ago, when he went to London and I had a breakdown.

Surprisingly, it was okay. We missed each other like hell. But I was so engrossed in work that time passed quite quickly. Seth had an eye on me all the time, aware of the potentially difficult situation, and we had some lovely evenings together, just like we used to do.

Edward's fingers move higher at my sides, which makes me giggle. He knows exactly how ticklish I am and he can't keep himself from teasing me until I'm wriggling around in his arms, squealing and laughing. I only make it worse when I try to free myself, Edward tickling me mercilessly while he blows raspberries on my neck. Breathless with laughter, I decide to play unfair and swiftly move my hand behind me, covering the bulge in his jeans. Edward groans.

"That's so cheap," he mutters throatily.

At that, I take my chance and dart off, grinning victoriously. Edward follows me a second later and, having longer legs, quickly catches up. He lifts me up while I squeak and struggle.

"Now, Isabella," he growls playfully, and I know I'm in for it.

Shit, I run in the direction of the pool.

"Seems like someone needs to cool down…"

He's swinging me to and fro as if I were a tiny package, and I'm protesting while I giggle hysterically.

It's no use. Seconds later, and with a loud splash, I'm thrown into the pool, squealing as my clothes get soaked by the lukewarm water. With another splash, Edward lands next to me, causing more water to cascade down on us.

"You're a devil," I gurgle.

Edward is panting he's laughing so hard as he pulls me close.

"I couldn't help it," he snorts, firmly grabbing my ass. "I just needed to get you wet."

I twine my arms and legs around him. He feels good, even with his t-shirt sticking to his body.

"You normally have other ways of getting me wet," I whisper in his ear, licking along the rim of it.

"I know; it's sad, isn't it?" He swallows and looks down at my nipples, which are straining against the silk of my blouse. "But I needed to see _that._"

He kisses my neck, the base of my throat, and my collarbone. When his lips touch me through the wet material, I arch my back and press myself against him, feeling his erection.

"God, baby…"

Impatient fingers bunch up my top, which stubbornly clings to my skin.

"Off, off, off with that," Edward half-chuckles and half-moans against my neck. Together we manage to pull it over my head and he throws it to the side of the pool.

I quickly follow with his t-shirt, and once my bra has joined our clothes, I sigh with relief when our naked upper bodies touch.

It's been twelve hours since we last made love, so I'm pretty famished for Edward's body.

Our lips meet in a hot kiss, nibbling, sucking and teasing. His tongue slides against mine and it's warm and eager and soft and demanding. I can feel how hard he is and I move against him, causing a small moan escape from his lips.

"Edward," I murmur. "I want you… so badly…"

I manage to open a couple of his fly buttons and reach inside, sighing once I'm able to touch him, hard and warm and desperate for me.

"Baby… oh…" Edward shudders at my touch. "We need to get to the side… Oh my God…"

The angle is awkward, but I manage to stroke him, and I love that he feels so familiar, and yet so exciting. While I continue to touch him, Edward moves us to the edge of the pool, where we make quick work of the last remaining articles of our clothing.

"What you do to me…" Edward's hot breath caresses my skin while his fingers tease me until I'm throbbing, moaning his name as he pushes me against the tiled wall.

"Edward… yes… oh yes…"

He enters me with two fingers and I wind my legs more tightly around him, my calves twining around his buttocks. I bite his shoulder when he speeds up his movements. His fingers are divine, slightly curling inside me, which earns him another bite and a low groan.

"Ah… Edward… want you… need you…"

"Yeah…" His eyes are hooded, looking quite dark in the silvery moonlight.

With one swift movement, he pulls me against him and I can feel him straining against my opening. Our eyes lock, and it's that magical moment before we become one, filled with anticipation – and sheer lust.

He enters me deeply, both of us groaning joyfully. It's the best feeling in the world. Edward fills me; he completes me, and my whole body responds to him. There's nothing but us, man and wife, and the intense pleasure we're giving each other. This is how it's meant to be.

"So good," he grunts, gripping the edge of the pool on both sides of my head for leverage, slamming into me. With each forceful thrust, he rubs against me, intensifying the pleasure that builds in my belly. It tingles and tenses and I'm already close to a joyous release, and by the sounds Edward is making, I can tell that it's the same with him. He looks incredibly beautiful in the moonlight, like marble, long lashes framing his almond-shaped eyes, wet strands of hair sticking to his forehead.

Our moans are getting more urgent and I cling to Edward, the pressure becoming unbearable as he buries himself again and again deep inside me.

"Edward… oh God…" A small whimper escapes my lips. "Yes, oh… ah… ahhh…"

I swear that I can see stars as my whole body is overtaken by waves of pleasure. It seems to be going on forever, and I shake and shudder as I feel Edward find his fulfillment, smaller trembles rippling through me as I slowly come down.

Edward is breathless, resting his face on my shoulder. I don't let go of him, kissing his wet cheek, his ear, his hair.

"I love you," he whispers. "Love you, love you, love you…"

I smile lazily. "I love you, too." I curl a strand of his hair around my finger. "More than anything…."

=====oOo=====

"I don't want to leave here," I say later, when we're snuggled up in bed, my head on Edward's chest.

"You'll _love_ London," he says in a soft, relaxed voice.

"I don't doubt it," I say. I lightly tickle the dusting of bronze hair on his chest. "But will you have time to show me around with your conference thingy going on?"

"My _conference__thingy_," Edward replies in an amused voice, "doesn't start for ten days. Anyway, I have to give only the two seminars. The rest of the time I'll be yours, Mrs. Cullen." He takes my hand and kisses my fingers. "Okay?"

"Okay," I sigh, already feeling sleepy.

Edward kisses my temple.

"I love you," he whispers, switching off the light.

"I love you too…"

I yawn and cuddle closer into the delicious security of his arms. Minutes later, we're both asleep.

**EDWARD**

I can't believe how quickly the last five days of our stay in Italy have sped by.

If anyone had told me three years ago that marriage could be _this_, I would not have believed them. Every morning when I wake up next to this gorgeous creature, I have to tell myself that she is my wife, and my previous experience as a husband just doesn't compare.

_This is perfection._

She _is__perfection._

Every day, I thank the gods that I dragged my ass to Alice's party two and a half years ago, because that night changed my life.

I watch my sleeping wife and my heart brims over with love. She's on her stomach, her dark hair splayed out across the pillow. She looks peaceful, breathing evenly, her lips in a sweet pout.

_So beautiful._

We've been married for three months, but to me it seems like yesterday that we spoke our vows in front our families and friends. That was one of the best days of my life. I will not say _the_ best day, because every day with Bella proves to be better than the last one. I love her so completely, so _much,_ that it almost hurts.

Kissing Bella's sleep-warm shoulder, I murmur, "Good morning, love. Time to get up."

Bella mumbles something into her pillow, her arm reaching out for me, grabbing my thigh.

"Baby." I kiss her neck. "Our flight leaves in four hours. We don't want to be late."

Bella grumbles. She's never been much of a morning person, and unless she's working and has to be somewhere, it can be almost impossible to get her out of bed.

I kiss her again, softly nibbling at her neck, which makes her giggle sleepily.

"Come on, Bella." I say, even though I want nothing more than to crawl back into bed and immerse myself in her taste and smell and her soft -

_Okay,__this__is_so_not__helping__…_

I gently pat her butt and get up, knowing that if I don't, we will be late. The drive to Florence will take ninety minutes, and we'll have to return the rental once we're at the airport.

I take a shower and make coffee, hearing Bella bustle around in the bedroom while I bring our suitcases to the door. Thank God she's not one of those women who takes tons of clothes with them. We still have a lot of luggage because we've been shopping a lot during the last month. There are hats and books and heaps of souvenirs for everyone back home. Bella stopped me from buying even more olive oil and dried herbs and cookbooks than I already had.

A few minutes later, she joins me in the kitchen, looking cute as a button in a flowery blue dress and sandals.

"I'm really sad to leave," she sighs, sitting down next to me, stirring milk and two spoonfuls of sugar into her coffee. She kisses me. "Aren't you?"

"Of course," I say. I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Maybe we could come back next year. What do you think?"

"I'd love that." She sighs once more and takes a sip of coffee, then kisses me again. "Thank you, my darling, for the most wonderful honeymoon." Her soft lips brush across mine. "I love you, husband."

I can feel her smile, and it makes me smile as well.

"I love you too, wife."

By the time we've finished breakfast and I've loaded the trunk of our rental, the sun is shining warmly. For one last time, I breathe in the smell of the country, of wood and earth and bougainvillea.

"Look." Bella points to the wooden gates.

"Oh my God."

It's Rosie, the small black cat that's been visiting us daily. Obviously, we don't know her name, but I figured that Rosie might be okay because the first time we saw her, she was in a rosebush. Crouching down, I say good-bye to her, and then it's time to say good-bye to San Gimignano as well.

Our drive through the countryside is relatively quiet, both of us wrapped up in memories of the last four weeks. Whatever the future may bring, this place will always be dear to my heart.

Bella's hand seeks out mine, and I know she feels the same way. Smiling, she lightly squeezes my fingers. Once we get into Florence, traffic becomes crazy. It's a common fact that Italians like to drive racily, but I find it really nerve-wracking and I'm glad when we reach the _Aeoroporte__Firenze._ It has become hot meanwhile and by the time I've loaded a trolley with our luggage and we've returned the rental, I'm sweaty.

We check in and have a cappuccino. We stroll through the duty-free area and Bella buys a few magazines and I get a cooking magazine. Our flight is called and the Alitalia flight attendant greets us with a big smile as we board the plane. We're seated near the emergency exit, which makes Bella visibly relax because she doesn't like flying much. I hold her hand during takeoff, soothingly stroking her palm with my thumb. She puts her head on my shoulder. The flight passes quickly as we browse through the hundreds of photos we've taken that are on my laptop.

Bella giggles happily when we get to the ones of me diving into the water completely naked. She kisses my cheek.

"My beautiful man," she whispers. She lightly bites my earlobe. "Edward…"

Her hand wanders upwards on my thigh.

"Yes?"

Her breath is warm as she whispers into my ear. "Have you ever had sex on a plane?" Her tongue darts out for a tiny lick.

I swallow.

"No…" I feel my breathing hitch as her fingers tickle higher. "Did… did you?"

"Not really… There was a bit of groping once, but then we went into some turbulence and –"

The _fasten__your__seat__belt_ signs go on and we are told the same over the loudspeakers.

"Damn it," I murmur into her ear.

"Good thing we have a longer flight when we go back home," she teases. "Maybe then we can join the Mile-High Club."

"Indeed…"

Bella twines her arm around my waist as we make our way through Heathrow Airport, and I put my arm around her shoulder. It's such a change from the quiet Italian life we lived over the past few weeks. Now we're surrounded by people on the move through the hectic airport, the sound of British accents so familiar to my ears, evoking memories of the past.

"Excited?" I say as we wait by the conveyor belt to get our baggage.

Bella nods; her cheeks are slightly pink. I kiss her nose.

"What do you want to do first?"

Bella grins, standing up on her tiptoes and kissing my chin.

"Take a shower with you. Then see the crown jewels." She giggles. "Oh wait, that's the same thing, isn't it?" She snorts adorably at her own lame joke, and I shake my head.

"Okay," she continues. "Have a shower, with you, and then take a walk to see the statue of Laurence Olivier."

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't expecting that," I chuckle.

Bella kisses my chin, but suddenly jumps out of my arms. "Oh, wait! There's your suitcase!"

An hour later, we enter our suite at the Savoy Hotel and I hand the bellboy a tip.

"Oh my God!" Bella exclaims as she walks through the large room. "This is gorgeous!"

Three floor-to-ceiling windows offer an incredible view of the Thames and the Bankside district. The room is furnished in tasteful colours of cream and roses, slightly old-fashioned in a very British way. There's a huge king-sized bed and a plush sofa, chintz curtains and cute little lamps. When Bella and I looked at the website, it said the suite was decorated in an Edwardian style, which Bella found lovely and I, funny, so I booked the River View Deluxe Room. There are fresh flowers, and a complimentary fruit basket with a bottle of champagne.

Bella takes my hand.

"Come on," she says, "let's see if the bathroom's equally gorgeous."

=====oOo=====

We have dinner at a lovely restaurant on the south bank of the Thames. Hundreds of little lights on both sides of the river are mirrored in the dark water, dancing on its surface. It's still warm enough to be sitting outside, though much cooler than it was in Italy. We had a delicious meal of trout, followed by a ginger and cranberry pudding that we shared. Now, we're lingering over our wine, holding hands and looking at the silent river.

I'm glad we'll have five days together before the conference starts. I want to show Bella around, and I also want her to meet my family. Liam and Maggie aren't technically my aunt and uncle, but rather some great-grand cousins of Carlisle and Aro. I've always been close to them, especially after living with them during my semester abroad, when I studied at King's College.

In addition, Aro also happens to be in London at the moment, and Bella is looking forward to seeing him again.

"Do you like it so far?" I ask, kissing her ear.

Bella smiles and nestles her face between my chin and shoulder, pulling her cardigan closer around her.

"It's lovely. And I did see the statue!"

She made me take at least twenty picture of her next to the statue of Laurence Olivier in front of the National Theatre, which is on the other side of the river, a fifteen-minute walk from our hotel.

"You did," I chuckle, playing with her fingers in my lap. "And did he meet your expectations?"

"Not really." She scrunches her nose. "His legs looked like toothpicks in those tights."

"Yeah, I agree on that."

"Huh." She playfully slaps my arm. "No need to be jealous." She kisses me, gently tugging my bottom lip with hers. "You're the only one I'll ever want."

Arm in arm, we walk slowly back to the hotel, which is proudly towering over the river, illuminated and standing tall between equally large buildings. The night air softly strokes our skin as we stand in the middle of Waterloo Bridge, looking at the majestic shapes of the Millenium Wheel, Westminster Abbey, and Big Ben, glowing golden against the dark cloak of the night.

I pull Bella closer against my chest and kiss the top of her head, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with love and gratitude. I never thought I could be so happy.

And we have our whole lives before us. Together.

**ooOoOoÖoOoOoo**

**Thank you to everyone for reading. I am very excited that I'm finally starting to post this story. The Bella and Edward from _You__Were__There_will be embarking on a fluffy, dramatic, and lemony journey, and I'm counting on your support.**

**Please leave a review, because that is the one reward we fanfiction writers get. **

**Thank you!**

**harperpitt**


	2. Take Me Back to Manhattan

**A/N:**

**Hello, lovely readers, welcome back! Thank you for each and every of your reviews – they make me very happy.**

**Thank you to my brilliant beta dellaterra for your patience and insight and humour!**

**Any remaining typo or grammatical errors are mine.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**EXCITING NEWS: You Were There has been nominated for the Tomato Soup Awards in the category The Seedling Awards (Best Newcomer.) Please vote for me! The link is on my profile.**

**Thank you!**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**Chapter 2: Take Me Back to Manhattan**

**EDWARD**

It's the fourth day of our stay in London, and I'm browsing through the postcard section at the Victoria and Albert Museum's gift shop. Bella is paying for a costume book she wants to bring back for Alice.

The past few days have been lovely. We've been sightseeing until our feet were glowing. The National Gallery, Saint Paul's Cathedral, the Tower of London, Harrods, Madame Tussaud's, Hyde Park – we've been everywhere.

One of the many things I love about Bella is her openness. She has a natural interest in things and is always eager to broaden her horizons. She likes the English, she says. She thinks that they are charming and polite, and claims that my heritage is very obvious. She also told me that she feels like an American tourist, at which I laughed, pointing out that we were just that.

We've seen two shows, _A__Little__Night__Music_ at the National Theatre, and _As__You__Like_ it at the Old Vic. Both were excellent productions, and Bella got quite excited about seeing two of the theaters that Laurence Olivier used to work in. We've dined well in the evenings and spent our nights with a decadent combination of champagne, lovemaking and bubble baths in our deluxe suite.

"Edward?" She wraps her arm around my waist. "Look what I've found!"

Putting my arm around her shoulders, I look at the book in her hands.

"_The__Little__Ones__' __ABC_?" I ask.

"For Anna."

"She's sixteen months old," I say. "Don't you think you're expecting a little too much from our niece?"

"Rose will love it," Bella insists, effectively silencing me.

I'm overjoyed by the fact that Bella and my big sister have become friendly over the past year. They had such a bumpy start, when Rose was suspecting Bella of being after my money, and I'll sure as hell support Bella in every step she takes so it remains that way.

"She will," I say and kiss her temple.

"I also found this."

She produces a set of Tarot cards, illustrated with paintings by Hieronymus Bosch.

"For Aro," she explains, and I have to kiss her again.

Three hours later, I pull out a chair for Bella at the Savoy Grill, where we'll be meeting Aro. My wife looks enchanting in a little black dress, her long dark hair curling around her shoulders. Unbelievably, she'll be thirty in less than four weeks. She doesn't look a day over twenty-five. I take her hand.

"You're beautiful."

"Thank you," she smiles. "You're looking very handsome as well, Dr. Cullen."

For a minute or two, we're in our happy bubble, until a boisterous voice yanks us back into reality.

"Well, well, well, you two lovebirds! Didn't you just have a four-week _honeymoon_?"

"Aro!" I get up to greet my uncle, who is already kissing Bella's hand, making her smile indulgently.

Aro is dressed elegantly as always, in a beige suit, with his customary pocket square and white shawl. He hugs me affectionately and pats my back.

"Now tell me all the news," he demands once we're sitting down. He's already ordered us three gin and tonics.

His deep blue eyes twinkle as Bella launches into an account of our honeymoon. He listens attentively, nodding and laughing and asking lots of questions.

He has aged since I last saw him. The lines on his face seem deeper, and his cheeks look grey and hollow. I vow to myself to catch up with him more often from now on. Even though there is a certain tiredness about him, he's as buoyant and boisterous as ever, full of raunchy anecdotes and fun.

"How long are you kids staying over here? You might take the flat in Chelsea. I'm off to Paris the day after tomorrow," he tells us over our appetizers.

"We're leaving September the second," I say. "After I've finished the conference at King's College."

"Pity," Aro replies, "you'd have enjoyed it; it's a nice place."

"Edward needs to get back to work," Bella shrugs, entwining our fingers. "And I'll be auditioning for a few plays," she says, and then thanks the waiter as he takes our plates.

"Sure," Aro says. So you're only going to work on the stage? No movies or TV?"

"I did a few TV things," Bella smiles. "But I genuinely prefer the stage. Working with Cornelius Clapp last year did me a world of good, publicity wise. And my agent is fantastic."

I give her hand a gentle squeeze as my chest swells with pride.

"I'm ashamed that I still haven't managed to see you on the stage," Aro admits, nodding for the waiter to refill his glass of wine.

"Yes, I'd love for you to come, once there's something to see, that is."

Her smile is enchanting.

Aro smiles back, but there's a strange faraway expression in his eyes.

"So what will you be doing in Paris?" Bella inquires, and Aro's demeanour changes again.

"There's a lady," he grins, and suddenly he looks like a fifteen-year-old boy in love. "Didi."

Bella wants to know everything about this Didi , while I am left wondering what happened to Bunty.The evening passes pleasantly, the three of us chatting easily and laughing a lot. By the time we part, it's after midnight. We watch Aro drive away into the London night in a black cab. Bella's nose skims my throat.

"You Cullen men are irresistible," she sighs.

"Are you saying you have a thing for my dear old uncle?" I say, mock-dramatically.

"I like your dear old uncle," she smiles, "who is what? Seventy?"

"Around that age, yes. He's three years older than Dad, which would make him seventy-one."

"That gives me something to look forward to when you're his age," she murmurs.

"How so?"

"Well, if Carlisle and Aro are any indication, I'm sure you'll be just as good-looking in thirty years as you are now."

_Humpf.__He__may__be__an__old__scoundrel,__but__I__'__d__rather__be__like__Aro__in__old__age__than__like__my__dad_.

"By the way," I tell her as I lead her back into the lobby, "you're completely irresistible as well."

We're supposed to visit Maggie and Liam tomorrow night. After that, it'll be back to school for me. I'll be holding my seminar at King's College on Wednesday and Thursday, and we're returning home on Friday. I look forward to that, but I've grown so used to this honeymoon thing - doing nothing, being with Bella all the time…

And it is so easy, even though that does not surprise me. We've been living together for almost two years; I know we're good together. We're different on many levels - let's just say that my wife is not the tidiest of persons, and she tends to be more of a night owl than I am – but we always meet in the middle, and when it counts, we're always on the same page.

=====oOo=====

Knowing that this will be the last day of glorious seclusion with Bella, I turn around in bed and snuggle up to her sleep-warm body. She smells delicious, like fresh roses. Like my Bella. My wife.

The morning sun filters in through the curtains, painting yellow lines on the floor. I kiss Bella's naked shoulder, feeling myself harden from the sensation of her soft skin. Curling one arm around her, I put my hand on her stomach, brushing up the silky camisole she's wearing. Warm skin, soft and inviting. She feels so small, always making me want to protect her. I bury my nose in her hair, which smells fresh and flowery. God, how I love her smell. How I love every tiny thing about her.

My hand travels higher, until it cups her breast. It's full and supple and so, so soft. Bella is still asleep, but her nipple is not; it perks up as I gently roll it between my thumb and middle finger. These breasts will be the death of me. I'll never get enough of them, licking them, sucking them, kissing them, fucking them…

Swallowing, I press myself against her as I continue caressing her, and after a few seconds, Bella responds, though still half-asleep, moving her butt against me, making me moan. I massage her breast and kiss the skin underneath her ear. I'm rock hard now, and I want her so badly.

The only material between us is the silk of her panties and the cotton of my pajama pants. Bella sighs, moving against me.

"Edward…" Her voice is rough from sleep arousal. She grabs my hand, kisses my palm and then puts it between her legs. So hot. So wet.

"Bella…" I gently bite her earlobe, and she wriggles her pretty little ass some more against me. She starts to fumble with my pants, and I make quick work of struggling out of them. Her fingers enwrap me immediately, causing me to moan again. I tease her hot, budding sex, and she makes this happy, whimpering sound of hers that excites me even further. I enter her with one finger; she's scorching, swollen and ready.

Bella helps me to get rid of her panties, both of our breaths coming jerkily. She groans my name when I place myself at her entrance, hooking her leg backwards over mine.

We moan simultaneously as I enter her, her hot, tight pussy embracing me, and I'm home again, and we're one.

The little sounds she makes are driving me crazy as I enter her again and again. She's gripping the headboard for leverage as our movements become more frantic, and it's not enough. Bella sits up on her knees and I move with her, my hands urgently sliding to her breasts. Her legs are on either side of mine as I start to buck up into her, our moans, and the sound of our skin slapping against each other's filling the room.

"Edward… Oh…" she whimpers. "Yes… Yes… Oh…"

I move one hand lower while the other keeps fondling her breast, and touch her little bud the way I know will drive her over the edge. Her fingers dig into my thighs as she meets me with each thrust, and I can feel that we're both getting close.

She cries out in passion, and I pump into her as deeply as I can, her groans spurring me on. White spots flash behind my eyelids as I feel her tighten around me, and she shudders as her orgasm overwhelms her, which pushes me over the edge, and I spill myself in her.

We both collapse on the bed, breathless and clinging to each other, our limbs a hot, tangled mess.

"Mmm," Bella pants. "Good morning."

I chuckle, still trying to regain my breath.

"Good morning."

She turns around in my arms, facing me. She's more beautiful than ever, all milky white and pink skin, flushed cheeks and sex hair. I kiss her, my lips moving with hers, and it's tender and full of love. She's making patterns on my back.

"I love you," I mumble against her sweet lips. "And I don't plan to let you out of this bed until we need to leave tonight."

"Do I get to eat?" Bella giggles.

"Okay…" I gently tug at her plump bottom lip.

Seven hours and three orgasms later, Bella collapses on top of me. So far, our day has been perfect. We've eaten, cuddled, napped, fucked, showered and kissed.

Bella nuzzles my chest with her nose. Her hair is a crazy mess by now; I don't even want to know what mine looks like. She laughs softly.

"What?" I ask, grinning goofily.

"How do you manage to have any sperm left? she whispers throatily, gently stroking her finger up and down my ribcage. "I'm wearing you out…"

"Don't you worry about it; my body produces billions every day, just for you," I reply, kissing her.

"Oh, hence the term re-_productive_organ_s_, huh?" She giggles again.

I laugh with her about her silly joke, but somehow, it puts my mind on a different track, and I have this vision of myself, scrambling through her toiletries and throwing packet after packet of twenty-one pills in the trashcan.

**BELLA**

The cab stops in front of a beautiful mansion. For a second, I'm reminded of the day when Edward took me to meet his family. I'm a little nervous, so once we're on the sidewalk, Edward puts his arm around me and kisses my ear.

"Relax, love." His lips are soft and warm. He looks at me, green eyes full of love. "They're very nice people, and I know they'll love you." He pecks my lips. "Okay?"

"Okay." I nod. We look at each other for a few more seconds, and then Edward rings the doorbell. Moments later, a lovely woman in her sixties opens the door for us.

"Edward!"

She beams at him.

"Maggie! So good to see you!"

They hug affectionately.

"This is my wife, Bella. Bella, this is Maggie, Carlisle's cousin. Which makes you my what? My second cousin? This is Maggie."

Maggie smiles and shakes my hand. I like her immediately; she's relaxed and has friendly grey eyes.

"So good to meet you, Bella," she says. "I'm so sorry we couldn't make it to your wedding. But we received the photos – everything looked so lovely!"

As she speaks, she guides us into the large living room. The furniture is elegant and old-fashioned, and every surface is covered with bric-a-brac. Two walls are covered with bookshelves, pictures and little lights adorning the room.

"Liam will be home presently," Maggie says. "He called just now to tell me he was held up at the hospital. Sit down, you two. Would you like a glass of sherry?"

I can't help but smile; her exuberance reminds me of Alice. Edward and I sit on the huge floral-patterned sofa, our hands entwined on my lap. Maggie bustles around with our drinks and when she returns, she wants to know everything about our Italian honeymoon. I feel at ease in her presence and in that slightly overstuffed living room with its warm atmosphere. Twenty minutes later, her husband Liam arrives. He's a big guy with reddish hair and a deep voice, his demeanour humorous and welcoming,

Again, Edward introduces me as his wife, and again, it makes me all tingly. I can't hear him say that often enough.

Conversation over dinner is pleasant and easygoing. Edward asks Maggie and Liam about their daughter, Siobhan, and I learn that she lives in Scotland with her boyfriend and runs a small publishing house.

Edward and Liam talk shop, since Liam is a doctor as well, and Maggie entertains me with stories about young Edward.

"He used to sneak out and meet up with Aro," she laughs. "Because Aro would take him out _big__time,_and I don't even want to know the details."

Edward grins sheepishly. "I was twenty-one at the time," he protests.

We get back to the hotel sometime after eleven. Edward needs to be up early tomorrow for his seminar, so I'm not surprised when I see him sitting up in bed, staring at his laptop, when I get out of the shower. He is wearing his glasses, reading something with intense concentration. I slide under the covers next to him and rest my head on his chest. He puts his arm around me but doesn't take his eyes off the screen. Nestling in closer to him, I shut my eyes and lightly run my finger up and down the dusting of hair on his chest.

It's silent but for the occasional click when Edward types something in. When he hasn't moved or spoken after a few minutes, I open my eyes.

Edward's eyes are serious, and he is scratching his left eyebrow.

"What is it?" I murmur. "Anything bad?"

He exhales through his nostrils before he shuts the laptop, then looks at me.

"Edward?" I sit up in bed. He's beginning to scare me.

"I received an email from Demetri. He says he didn't want to contact me earlier so I could enjoy our honeymoon." Edward takes off his glasses. "Apparently, there was a board meeting the other day, and they were discussing who should be Dr. McKenzie's successor as head of cardiovascular surgery after he leaves for Johannesburg in a few months, and my name came up."

"Oh my God."

We stare at each other.

"That's good, isn't it?" I ask my speechless husband.

"I… Yes." He smiles. "Demetri says I should call him tomorrow."

"Wow, that's great!" I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. He tastes wonderful, like toothpaste and Edward.

"I'm so proud of you," I whisper. "So proud."

"My name wasn't the only one." Edward plays it down. "It appears that they're also considering two other guys. Still, it's nice."

"It is." I kiss him again. "I'm so, so proud of you," I mumble while our lips begin to play.

After a couple of minutes, Edward places the laptop on his bedside table so it doesn't get knocked over.

When I wake the next morning, Edward has already left, but, as usual, there's a note on his pillow.

_Good morning, love._

_Enjoy your day – I recommend the British Museum, and I'm certain I'll be right in assuming that you will love the London Zoo. Make sure to visit the LIONS and the LAMBS. _

_I'll be finishing at around five. _

_I love you. More with each day._

_Your husband,_

_Edward_

After a late breakfast, I spend my day just walking around, going to bookshops, taking pictures, and ending up at a little _brasserie_ off Covent Garden. I am studying my map and try to figure out how to get to the zoo when my phone rings.

_Laurent._

"Laurent, hi! How are you?"

"Hey Bella," he growls, his unmistakable Brooklyn accent sounding familiar in contrast to the British voices around me. "You're not really one for reading your emails lately, are ya?"

"What do you mean? I did… a couple of days ago…" _I__think._

_Shit. I checked my emails three days before we left Italy._

"Why, what is it?" I take a small sip of Pepsi to calm my nerves.

"Nothing much, honey. Just your old buddy, Cornelius Clapp. Seems he got it into his head that the musical is his new genre."

"Oh." That's surprising. I know that he did some musical theatre in the Eighties, but since then, he's always been into the classics. Anyway, why is Laurent telling me this?

"Yeah," he drawls. "_The__Taming__of__the__Shrew__"_ is the choice of the moment.

"He wants to do _Kiss__Me,__Kate_?" I ask incredulously. This is getting stranger by the minute.

"No," Laurent says. "He's having a musical version of the play written with songs by Rachelle Huilen. He' s going to make it a huge Broadway production, and he wants you for the leading role."

For a few moments, I'm absolutely speechless.

_Cornelius wants me to play the lead in a musical?_

"Bella? You still there?"

"Yes… I mean… Oh my God. When…? Why…?"

"He called me last week. He mostly wanted to know if you're available at the time he's doing it."

"When's he starting?"

Even though I can't really think very clearly, I manage to pose that pertinent question.

"In two weeks. Opening night is supposed to be at the end of December."

"But I'm not a musical actress." I'm methodically shredding the paper wrapper of my straw.

"Well, honey, that you will have to discuss with him in person. But you did learn to sing and dance in acting school, didn't you?"

"Of course, but… Gosh, Laurent, that's a lot to think about. Listen, we'll be back on Friday, and I'm going to call Cornelius as soon as I can, okay?"

"Sure, do that. The pay would be very nice, by the way, though I guess it's a minor point now that you're married to medical royalty. How's the honeymoon goin', anyway? Are you and that hot husband of yours getting it on?"

I roll my eyes, even though Laurent can't see. He's had a thing for Edward from the moment he met him. To this day, every time they see each other, Laurent tries to convince him to go into acting or, at the very least, modeling. He was a guest at our wedding, and almost fainted when he saw my two new brothers-in-law: buff, boisterous and easygoing Emmett with his booming voice and cute dimples, and calm, intellectual Jasper who is equally attractive with his Southern charm and subtle sense of humour.

Laurent and I talk for a few more minutes before we end the call, and I stroll back to the hotel. I try to sort my thoughts.

_Would I be able to sing and dance in a musical?_

Sure, I took ballet lessons until I was eighteen and had dance classes as an acting student. But could I pull it off in a Broadway production?

Singing is easier, as I learned that as a solid part of my studies, and I also have been attending singing classes on and off ever since then.

Only when I step into the elevator in the hotel lobby do I notice how hard my heart is beating. The idea is unnerving, scary, exciting and wonderful.

Edward is already back when I enter our room. His laptop is open on the desk by the window, and his jacket is thrown over the back of the chair, alongside his tie. A bunch of notes, scribbled in his neat handwriting, are next to the computer. The words mean nothing to me; the only one I understand is _heart._

The sound of the shower pulls me out of my thoughts, and on a sudden impulse, I decide to join Edward.

=====oOo=====

"It comes down to me, Marcus and this guy from Pennsylvania, James Something-or-other," Edward tells me over dinner. I already shared my big news with him, and he responded by kissing me all over, murmuring how proud he was. This happened directly after our mutual shower, and it took us some time until we got dressed.

He still has a sort of glow about him, smiling as I pass one finger over his eight-o'clock shadow.

"When will they make the decision?" I ask.

"Sometime next week," Edward replies, feeding me a piece of his Dover sole. "Delicious, isn't it?"

"Fantastic," I nod, enjoying the taste of tender fish in creamy parsley sauce. I take Edward's hand and look into his deep green eyes. There are little crinkles at the sides of them from laughing.

"Do you want this?" I ask. "I mean, for yourself? Not to prove anything, to your family, or Demetri, or anyone else?"

"Prove something to Carlisle, you mean," Edward mutters and squeezes my hand. He falls silent for a few moments, aware that I'm being very serious, and that I'll accept whatever answer he gives me.

He knows that I didn't marry him for his job, or his name, or his family's reputation.

Edward's thumb strokes the back of my hand, and he unconsciously pouts his lips as he thinks, which makes him look devastatingly cute. When he finally speaks, his voice is low and thoughtful.

"Yes," he says. "I actually do. It will mean even greater responsibility, and much more paperwork I'm afraid, but it will also mean that I could _do_ more. Make decisions, work out better structures, and see to it that my coworkers can perform their jobs as excellently as possible. So, yes."

"That's great." I smile. "I'm so proud of you."

"And I'm so proud of you," he replies. "I promise not to drown in work, okay?"

"Okay."

We're both smiling, looking at each other, and I know that I will never love anyone like I love Edward Cullen.

Two days later, we're on a plane again, only this time, the flight is longer. Edward has fallen asleep with his head feeling sweetly heavy on my shoulder.

I can't stop thinking about the part Cornelius wants me to play. I spent all day yesterday doing research, re-reading the play and watching the film versions of both _The__Taming__of__the_ _Shrew_and_Kiss__Me,__Kate._

It's a huge challenge, but in my heart I know that I want to do it, just as Edward wants to accept the challenge he may be presented with.

I rest my head on top of his, burying my nose in the silky strands of his hair. The familiar smell of vanilla and amber relaxes me to the core.

Edward utters a happy little sigh, snuggling closer to me so that his face is pressed against the side of my neck and I can feel his warm, regular breathing.

I get drowsy too, and the last conscious thought I have is that I'm pretty sure that, once the plane lands and we're back in New York, a lot of things will be changing in our lives.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading, alerting, adding to favs and REVIEWING!**

**I will try and post one chapter per week, this one comes early because dellaterra is wonderful and super-quick!**

**xoxo**

**harperpitt**


	3. Ev'rything I Love

**A/N:**

**Hello everyone! Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews; each and every one means more than you know to me.**

**Thank you to my brilliant beta dallaterra. I'm truly grateful for your invaluable help.**

**Any remaining grammatical or typo mistakes are mine.**

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**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 3: **Ev****'****rything****I****Love**

**BELLA**

The first night back in our own bed, I sleep uneasily, waking several times and not knowing where I am. Edward is fast asleep next to me, and the warm security of his body calms me. The jet lag causes both of us to wake crazily early, but we stay in bed for a couple of hours, cuddling and talking.

When we get up, it's still only eight-thirty. After our five-week absence, there's a lot to do, beginning with such mundane tasks as unpacking, doing the laundry and shopping for groceries. We call our families and friends and Esme invites us for lunch the next day. Edward sorts through a mountain of mail, while I take all of our souvenirs to the spare room, arranging them neatly on the chest of drawers. I'm well aware of the fact that I'm procrastinating and that I should be calling Cornelius, but I feel that I need another moment to prepare myself.

After lunch, we get into the car and drive to Gramercy Park, where Cedric is staying with Uncle Seth and Uncle Collin. I'm actually a bit nervous as we drive. I've never been parted this long from my cat in the five years he's been with me. I think he's around ten years old now, but I don't know for sure since I got him from a shelter.

"What if he doesn't remember me?"

Edward takes my hand over the center console.

"I honestly can't imagine that."

"What if he doesn't remember _you?__"_ I tease, knowing that Edward loves our large ginger companion every bit as much as I do.

"Huh!" Edward pretends to be outraged. "I'll teach him who his daddy is!"

"That sounded all kinds of wrong," I laugh.

"Yeah, I realize that," Edward chuckles.

We arrive at Seth and Collin's twenty minutes later and take the elevator to the third floor. Seth greets us with a huge and welcoming smile, hugging and kissing first me, then Edward.

"So good to see you!" He kisses my cheek again. "Wow, you two look amazing. Why, Edward – a tan?" He grins impishly.

I really love that man. We may not be related by blood, but he's the closest I'll ever have to a brother. We practically grew up together after my mother left Charlie and me when I was nine, and he and his sister Leah, as well as their mom, Sue – who is now married to my dad – are my family.

"Yeah, rub it in, Sethy." I softly tweak his ribs. Seth himself has beautiful olive-colored skin, with jet-black hair and dark eyes, all of them reminders of his Native American ancestry.

"It's not my fault that you turn crimson if you go in the sun without SPF 50," he teases me.

We're making our way into the living room of Seth's spacious apartment when I hear a familiar sound – the galloping of Cedric's paws on the parquet floor. He stops next to his scratching post and stares at us with amber eyes.

"Cedric," I cry, crouching down.

He stares at me for a few more seconds, probably to give me a hard time, and then comes over and nudges my knee with his little forehead, touching my heart. He does the same to Edward a bit later, and I'm extremely relieved that everything seems fine.

We sit in Seth's large kitchen and have coffee, telling him about our honeymoon and the stay in London. Seth gives us an update on the latest New York gossip and news. Collin is away on a tour to L.A. with the ballet company he joined last year.

We leave after an hour, having presented Seth with all the gifts we got for him in Italy, at which he kisses me all over again. They are mostly books on photography that I found in Florence.

Edward and I are still feeling the jet lag, and we're both happy to be back in the car and on our way home. Cedric didn't protest when I coaxed him into his carrier, and was very quiet on our way downstairs. Two minutes into the drive, though, all hell breaks loose. Cedric mewls, screams, and yammers. Then he throws up and tops off his little performance with an attack of diarrhea. The stink in the car is indescribable and I'm afraid I'm going to be sick as well. The only one left unaffected by all these events is my husband, who opens every single window and speeds up.

When we're finally home, Cedric retreats to the spot under the bed in the spare room he's used to taking when Miss Kaure comes once a week and turns on the vacuum cleaner. We won't see him again until Monday.

Still on London time, we go to bed early, where Edward falls asleep with his book open on his chest, and I gently pry his glasses off his nose.

On Sunday, we have a lazy breakfast in bed, but after an hour, Edward sighs and kisses my shoulder.

"I actually need to get some work done today. I'm only going in tomorrow for a few hours to catch up and do paperwork, but I don't want to be completely unprepared." He nuzzles my chin with his nose. "Even though I'd much rather stay here in bed with you all day…"

"Yes… We're really spoiled after all those weeks." I rub the back of his neck.

"We are…" He kisses the side of my mouth. " But I won't be working too long, I promise, so we can have a little roll in the hay later on."

"Later on," I remind him, "we're going to your parents'."

"Oh, yes. I almost forgot." He shakes his head. "I guess I'm still a little jetlagged. Mom can't wait to see us," he says as he makes his way to the bathroom. "Alice also sent me a message. She wants her presents, and pronto."

We both laugh, and then Edward leaves to take his shower.

He's holed up in his den for the next few hours, and I busy myself with the things that still need to get done after our absence. Seth calls, asking me about Cedric, and I tell him I haven't seen him since yesterday, but that his bowl was empty this morning. I also tell him about our horrendous trip back home, which Seth finds very, very funny.

I can't help but laugh along with him. We chat about unimportant stuff for half an hour or so.

"Bells?" he says after a small silence.

"Yes?"

"Have you called Cornelius Clapp yet?"

"No…"

"Why not?"

"I don't know…" I walk out unto the terrace. It's a beautiful September day. The leaves are turning yellow, and the sun has lost its fierceness.

"You're not afraid, are you?"

"I guess I am," I admit. "What if we begin rehearsing and he finds that he made a huge mistake in casting me? I'm not such a good dancer."

"Bells, you took ballet lessons for, like, centuries! Please just call him! Talk to him about it. You'll feel so much better afterward. And you do want to do the play, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"Then call him. Now. And then call me back and tell me how it went."

I groan, because Seth knows me way too well, and I know that I'll be wasting my time if I try to pull the _but__we__just__got__back__and__I__need__to__settle__in_card.

We end the call and I take a few deep breaths before dialing Cornelius's number. The phone rings two, three times. I'm awfully nervous, and I wouldn't be sorry if Cornelius didn't answer the phone.

"Hello?"

I swallow.

"Hi, Cornelius. It's Bella."

"Bella! Hello, my dear. How lovely to hear your voice."

It only takes us a couple of minutes to get to the subject, and I relax at Cornelius's charm and get wrapped up in his vision. I sit in one of the wicker chairs on the terrace, enjoying the afternoon sun, listening to my favorite director on earth drawing a complex picture of the production he has in mind. A true bohemian rhapsody, a big show full of effects, a spectacle and celebration of Europe in the Twenties.

"I want it larger than life," he says. "I've been talking and planning with everyone for ages, and it'll be really lavish. Rachelle Huilen is writing the dialogue and lyrics right now, staying rather close to Shakespeare's lines, but it will be very jazzy, very Twenties. Choruses and duets and glitter and extravaganza."

"God, you're scaring me." I half-laugh. "Really, I'm afraid I won't be able to meet your expectations. I'm no musical actor."

"No need for you to be. There will be singing and dancing, yes, but to me, the most important thing is that the acting is excellent. That's why I want you."

I lift my legs and bring my feet up to the seat of the chair, hugging my knees.

"Don't you think that everyone will be comparing it to _Kiss__Me,__Kate_?"

"No way. The songs will be completely different. Rachelle is working her ass off, and I can tell you that this will be sexy, and fun."

There's a longish silence while I think it over. It sounds very attractive.

"Well, Bella? Are you in?"

At that moment, Edward comes outside and lights a cigarette. He smiles that cocky smile of his, prodding my foot with his big toe. I smile back at him.

"Yes," I say. "I'm in."

**EDWARD**

Mom hugs me so hard that I almost can't breathe, but it's good to have her near again, her lovely scent so familiar.

"I missed you, darling." She kisses my cheek and looks up at me, studying my face. "You look good."

Turning to Bella, she hugs and looks her over as well, and I can tell that Bella enjoys the motherly attention.

When we get to the porch that leads to the vast garden, everyone but Rose and Em are there, and Alice is the first to greet us with that special brand of enthusiasm only my sister has. Jasper's reception is just as welcoming, if less effusive.

Dad kisses Bella's cheek and smiles at her.

"You look great, Bella."

"Thank you, Carlisle."

He gives me a hug as well.

"Edward. Good to see you, son."

"Yes, Dad."

Mom passes out drinks and Bella and I sit down on the garden bench. Fifteen minutes into our account of our honeymoon, the front doorbell rings, and Rose and Em arrive with baby Anna in his arms and seven-year-old Lily holding her mom's hand.

More hugs and kisses are exchanged, and my sweet niece Lily shows me the newest gap in her smile before even saying hello. Rose explains to me that a tooth fell out this morning and that the tooth fairy has been the main subject of her day.

I can positively feel Mom's happiness at having all of her loved ones assembled around the table. Well, almost all of them. Rose and Emmett's son, Dale, is off to Harvard, and even though he came to see his parents a couple of weeks ago, he's gone back so he can work at his part-time job at a coffee shop close to campus. He's going into medicine, following his granddad and uncle.

"He's doing great," Emmett says. "We're very proud of him for insisting on earning part of his living even though he doesn't have to." He smiles at Rose, and there's a sweet and rather private moment between them.

"He's a wonderful young man," beams Mom. "So bright and clever." She's rocking Anna on her lap, managing to play pat-a-cake with her while keeping up a conversation with everybody else. Anna's blonde curls are bobbing up and down and she giggles loudly, screeching with excitement.

"Well, Esme, you know where he gets it from." Emmett winks and makes us laugh because he's such a goof.

"Yes, I do appreciate it, Emmett," Mom smiles, getting up with a still smiling Anna on her hip. "And now, I will have a look at the beef."

"Can I help you, Esme?" Bella, who has been silent, squeezes my hand, which is on her knee.

Mom looks at her as if the sun just came up.

"That would actually be great, Bella."

Anna grins at me, her tiny teeth showing. She claps her hands.

"Hey," Rose coos, "you want to go to Uncle Edward?"

Anna claps her hands again in that cute, uncoordinated way only an eighteen-month-old can.

"Edda!" she exclaims.

"Oh my God!" Rose gasps, surprise and pride mixing on her face. "That's a new word. Baby, you learned a new word, huh?"

Anna still grins.

"Edda!"

"How many words does she know already" Alice asks.

"Oh, quite a few. Everything's baby-speak of course," Rose shrugs. "I think that _ball_ was her first word. I can't imagine who I have to thank for this."

She casts a playful look at her husband, lawyer for the Mets. Emmett raises his hands.

"I'm completely innocent. Maybe I was talking to her about that… ah, castle. Yes, the castle that Cinderella lived in after she met this guy at the _ball!__"_

Everyone laughs and Rose passes her smiling daughter to me.

_Oh God, she's so sweet._

Small, pudgy arms and legs. Large blue eyes that are exactly like Rose's, and dimples, which come directly from Emmett.

She grabs my nose.

"Edda!"

"Hi, sweetheart," I say. I tickle her tiny tummy, and she giggles. "You're right. I'm Edward. And you are…" I point to her.

Anna examines my finger, clearly bewildered.

"You're Anna!"

She takes my finger and sucks on it, drooling all over my hand.

"Oh, gosh. Sorry." Rose starts to ferret through her diaper bag.

"It's okay." I smile at her, and then at Anna. "It's just a little drooly-booly, right?"

"Edda!"

From the corner of my eye, I can see Alice; no, I can actually _feel_her. When I look up, our eyes meet immediately.

I can't immediately decipher her expression. It's thoughtful and loving. I pose a silent question with my eyes, and she returns it with a huge and genuine smile.

Mom's dinner is delicious, and the conversation is light and lively, with a lot of laughter, punctuated by Emmett's booming snorts echoing through the garden. When talk comes to Bella's career, she explains about the new play and her meeting with Cornelius the next week.

Anna babbles throughout the meal, her small face lit up by the excitement of being in a different environment and all the attention she's getting. Her lips and cheeks are smeared with tomato sauce from the extra dish Esme prepared for her granddaughters. Guinness beef stew is not, after all, very suitable for children.

"And he wants I to take place in the Twenties?" Alice asks Bella. "Wow! Oh man, how I'd love to do those costumes. And it's not even low budget, like _The__Three__Sisters_ was," she says, referring to the play she and Bella were doing together when we first met. Alice decided to open up her own label about two years ago, and _AWear_is doing very well. She invested a lot of money to have her designs sewn at a Brooklyn-based firm, and sold the first dresses this spring.

"Oh, Bella," says Mom. "I can't wait to see you on the stage again! You were brilliant in _Macbeth_."

"Yeah," Emmett grins. "I want to see you singing and dancing. That should be fun."

Next to him is his seven-year old daughter, playing with her Vampire Barbie and Ken. She told me all about the grotesque dolls earlier, and that they're "Candy" and "Fulton" from the Disney films. She also demonstrated that, by putting a wet cloth on Ken – I mean _Fulton_– he will "sparkle." I don't get it, but she's cute as hell.

I haven't been following the conversation, and only look up when Anna drums her plastic spoon on the highchair she's sitting in.

"Bedda!" she shouts.

I feel Bella getting nervous at my side. Rose is talking to her small daughter, trying to pry the spoon out of her tiny hand, but she won't be persuaded.

"Bedda! Bedda!"

"Hello!" Bella waves at her, smiling shyly.

Moments later, Anna is on Bella's lap, and they are eyeing each other warily.

"Ba." Anna's hand is on Bella's mouth, and I can tell that my wife is slowly relaxing.

"Dada." Anna points to Emmett and the whole table oohs and ahhs at her cuteness.

While conversation returns to normal, Bella and Anna are getting acquainted. Lily shows me the accessories for her huge-headed dolls.

"Wow," I say. "I thought they were vampires. What do they need those sports dresses for?"

Lily rolls her eyes, looking exactly like Rose. "They're in high school. They are on the same volleyball team." She says it like it's common knowledge, which I guess it is.

While she explains more of their adventures, I sneak peeks at Bella and Anna, trying not to be too obvious, which is hard, since they are incredibly touching.

Bella's huge dark eyes follow Anna's every move as she helps her balance her small sandaled feet over the lawn. Anna talks, and Bella listens and responds, even though their conversation isn't making a lot of sense. They tour the garden and Bella softly explains the world to Anna.

That's when Sal, my parents' big black cat, appears and starts purring around Bella's legs.

And that's when Anna freaks out and begins to scream in terror.

And that's when Bella instinctively lifts Anna up, settles her on her hip and comforts her until she stops crying.

_And the things, oh the things, it does to my heart._

=====oOo=====

The alarm goes off at seven-thirty the next morning. I sleepily turn it off and snuggle a bit closer into Bella's warmth.

"Hey," I whisper, kissing the back of her neck. "I need to get up…"

"Mmm…"

She pulls my arm around her body, settling my right hand on her breast.

"Bella." I sigh.

I can tell that she's still half-asleep, although awake enough to wriggle her butt against me, helping my _situation_not one bit.

"Baby," I murmur, kissing her ear. "I really need to get up." Using all my mental strength, I move away from her, causing Bella to make a very grumpy sound. I kiss her cheek and make my way to the bathroom. I know she'll be fast asleep by the time I'm finished.

I'm right.

Life at Lenox Hill is hectic as always. Making my way through the corridors, I greet doctors, nurses and therapists. I missed this, missed the buzz, missed the smell even. Reaching the Cardiovascular Department, it's a bit like coming home. Here, I know every nook and cranny, and as I get to the front desk, Sheila and Jen get up and hug me. They want to know everything about the honeymoon.

The whole staff threw in together and gave Bella and me a spa day at the Ritz-Carlton and a fluffy set of his-and-hers robes with our first names embroidered on the front. I chat with the two ladies for a few minutes and promise to show them pictures from the trip one of these days.

I make a mental note to reorganize the folder with the pictures. I don't think that Sheila and Jen are prepared to see Bella naked and in nothing but sheer satin thigh highs…

_Ah, well, I am digressing._

My next stop is Demetri's office. His secretary waves me through with a welcoming smile and after a short knock on his door, he calls me in. He is sitting behind his desk and looks every bit the part as director of Cardiovascular Services: wise and trustworthy, his black eyes calm and inquisitive. His black beard is liberally streaked with grey.

"Edward." He gets up and crosses the room to greet me with a firm handshake and a half-hug and pat on the back. "Good to see you. Did you have a nice honeymoon?"

After a few minutes of chitchat, we sit down on opposite sides of his enormous mahogany desk. He doesn't beat around the bush.

"So. This promotion thing is still undecided, but I want you to know that I have been campaigning for you. The decision should be made by the end of next week. I don't know if…" He hesitates for a moment, which is unusual for him. "Did Ben tell you?"

"No," I say slowly. "Tell me what?"

"When I informed him that his name had come up, he said that he was very flattered, but he diddn't want the job. Now that he and Angela have their second baby on the way, he doesn't want to do eighty- or hundred-hour shifts a week any more."

"Oh."

Somehow I'm not all that surprised. Ben never was the kind of guy who put his career before everything else. He's around ten years older than I am, while Angela is closer to Bella's age. I can totally understand that he craves time with his family.

"So that would leave you and that guy from Pennsylvania, who has an offer from Mount Sinai as well." Demitri raises his eyebrows, a slight smile on his face. "Looks like you're going to be head of cardiac surgery very soon, Edward."

"Wow, I'm overwhelmed," I say. "Thanks for supporting me."

"I couldn't imagine anyone better for the job. You're young, yes, but you're experienced and extremely mature and stable. Everyone here respects you, which is more important than you might think. And you have great leadership potential. I see a fantastic future for you."

"Well." I cough, feeling embarrassed by his praise. "Let's wait until the decision is made, okay?"

"Sure," he chuckles. "You'll be back tomorrow for real, right?"

"Yes."

There's a small silence.

"You need to talk this over with Bella," Demetri says, suddenly serious. Apart from Ben and Angela, he and his wife were my only coworkers at the wedding. "You've been married for what? Three months?"

I nod.

"It would mean a change, Edward. You know that. I fully respect Ben's decision, and… Well, I don't know about you and Bella, but I could imagine you're thinking about having a family, and…"

"Sure." I swallow. "You're right. I'll talk to her."

The phone rings, and Demitri mouthes "sorry" before he answers it. "Yes, sure. Send her in." He smiles as he sets down the phone. "Well, this is lucky. You're actually going to meet our new colleague. Dr. Trackwell joined us here three weeks ago. She's a new OB/Gyn, and she specializes in prenatal cardiovascular conditions."

The door then opens to let in a surprisingly young woman in scrubs with the most impressive head of red curls I have ever seen.

=====oOo=====

That night, Bella and I linger over dinner as I tell her what Demitri said. She grabs my hand and looks at me, her large dark eyes earnest and sincere.

"If that's what you want, Edward, I'm in it with you. If you decide tomorrow that you want to become a crab fisher, I'm in it with you. I love you. No matter what."

Lifting up her hand, I kiss it and hold it to my cheek.

"I know," I reply. "And I love you."

She gets up and lets me pull her into my lap.

Our lips melt into a slow kiss, and my world comes to rest. My fingers play with the little anchor pendant that's on her necklace. That's what Bella is to me. My anchor.

"Edward?" she whispers against my lips, her tongue darting out to lick over my front teeth.

"Hmm?"

"Would you play the piano for me?"

Minutes later, she's next to me on the bench in front of my instrument, her hand on my leg as I play one of the little tunes I have written for her. Her head is on my shoulder and she hums along very softly. Cedric came out of his hiding place half an hour ago and is now proudly sitting on top of the piano.

It's perfect – peaceful and warm – and it's not just the location when my heart tells me I am _home_.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading; please leave me some love? Reviews make me do a Snoopy dance.**

**xoxo**

**harperpitt**


	4. That's the News I'm Waiting to Hear

**A/N: **

**Hello, dear readers! Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews. You are the very best and I heart each and every one of you.**

**Thank you once again to dellaterra who makes this story so much more readable and never loses patience with my creative punctuation and word-creations. Hugs and kisses and airplane propellers to you.**

**Any remaining mistakes and errors are mine.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Please vote for me at the Tomato Soup Awards, where I was nominated Best Newcomer for You Were There – the link is on my profile; it's category 44.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 4: **That****'****s****the****News****I****'****m****Waiting****to****Hear**

**BELLA**

"Eight _months_?" I look at him incredulously. Cornelius takes a sip of his tea and nods, his crinkled, owlish face vaguely apologetic. We're talking about the play, which now has a name: _My__Bonny__Kate._

"Like I said, Bella, I really want to do this. Tour Europe. Paris, Barcelona, Warsaw, Berlin…" His expression gets dreamy. ""You told me yourself how you fell in love with London, with Florence."

I think about it, about the challenge and the companionship such an enterprise would mean. Seeing new countries, and cities. And being away from home.

"Yes, but…" I bite my lip. "I know this is a great chance and everything, but… " I need to swallow.

I can't even imagine being parted from Edward for such a long time. He's my anchor. I would go mad without him, all alone, traveling around strange countries. I _need_ him.

"I get it, Bella." Cornelius pats my hand. "To be perfectly honest, I almost expected it. I think I've gotten to know you a bit, and I'm well aware of the fact that you are very attached to Edward. You were mind-blowing at our first couple of rehearsals and I was hoping against hope that you might agree. But I've been preparing myself for the prospect that you might not."

"What are you going to do?"

"Your understudy will take the part for the tour. You'll meet her at the next rehearsal. She auditioned a month ago, and, had you rejected me, I'd have given the part to her."

"Who is she?"

"Jane Volturi. She's done tons of plays, but has received very little recognition. She was brilliant in _Luther_, and in _Nobody__Loves__an__Albatross_."

"Oh."

We've been sitting in a badly-lit corner of our rehearsal room for over an hour while Spencer is working silently on some drawings at the other end of the room. We talk about the play and the first rehearsals where everyone met for the first time. Well, almost everyone. This is ridiculous. I'm getting jealous of a woman I've never seen, who will take over my part because I turned down the offer of a European tour.

"Volturi," I muse. "Is she Italian?"

"Frankly, I don't know. She certainly doesn't look Italian. She's blonde. Really petite."

_Great. Everything I am not._

"Wait," I say. "Volturi? Isn't Alec's last name Volturi?"

I met our choreographer two days ago and he left a colorful impression. Brilliant, bitchy, gay as hell and a scheming bastard.

"He's her twin brother," Cornelius says. "I know he's worse than the Wicked Witch of the East, but he's brilliant at what he does."

"He is," I agree, playing with the anchor charm on my necklace. "And… will you be okay with me not coming to Europe?"

"Yes, Bella." Cornelius smiles, and I can see that he's being honest. He's such a sweet, sensitive man. "As I said, it didn't come as a big surprise. Really. It's okay. And now let's get to discussing Scene Three. That's what we're here for."

It's after nine by the time I get home, and I'm happy that the lights are on and that the delicious smell of food is coming from the kitchen. Ever since he returned to work, Edward has been dedicating his time to the hospital. I can see his point; there's a lot at stake for him. I know that he will be working even more if he gets the promotion. He told me about the burden that this new position would put on him, and I told him I'd support him whichever way this will turn out.

"Hey, baby." He greets me as I enter the kitchen, taking off the apron I gave him two years ago. It's blue and has his initials stitched on the front.

Edward's lips are on mine, moving sweetly while his palms cover my ass. It's been a week since he went back to work, and we haven't seen a lot of each other. Now that I'm in his arms again, none of that matters.

I run my fingers through his hair as his tongue begins to play with mine. It's equal parts arousing and familiar, and he tastes like lemon and honey.

"Mmm, baby…" Edward's breath caresses the side of my neck while his hand wanders to my breast. My heart is thumping and I pull his crisp white shirt out of his pants before roaming the hard, warm planes of his back.

"Wait a second," he mumbles against my lips.

"What?" I lightly scratch his soft skin.

"Need to turn off the stove…"

His breathing is still ragged when he returns a moment later.

"Where were we?" He licks over the rim of my ear, making me sigh. "Ah, here…"

While Edward's lips are busy on my neck, I fumble with the buttons of his shirt. I can feel him press against my abdomen. Long, nimble fingers tease my nipple and I moan blissfully.

"Bella…" He softly bites my earlobe. "My beautiful Isabella…"

His shirt falls to the floor and I run my hands over his chest. I kiss the base of his throat and his collarbone, moving lower until the light dusting of hair tickles my nose. I lick over his nipple and then suck teasingly, enjoying the sound of his moan. Pulling my dress higher, his hands cup my butt through the thin material of my lace panties. With one fluid movement, he lifts me up and I curl my legs around his waist as he carries me into the living room.

"Is there any chance we're going to make it to the bedroom?" he rasps into my ear.

"No way…"

Seconds later, I am straddling Edward on the sofa, swiftly opening his pants while his fingers sneak inside my underwear. I gasp. When I'm finally able to pull his pants lower, I giggle breathlessly.

"You're wearing them again." I kiss him.

"Said you liked them," he murmurs throatily and I stop giggling when he pushes one finger into me.

"I do," I moan, rubbing lightly over the green cotton of his boxer briefs. "Will you still let me pull them down?"

Edward moves and together, we pull his pants and boxers down to his knees before he greedily moves my panties to the side and I lower myself on him. Both of us groan at the exquisite sensation of being connected that way again.

It isn't slow and gentle, nor is it fast and reckless. We look at each other all the time, kissing between shared breaths and increasing heartbeats, and when we come, it's like our very own fireworks celebrating our love.

Later, we eat in the kitchen, all mellow and relaxed, completely in tune. Edward made honey chicken with ginger and rice, which I practically inhale since lunch was ten hours ago. I tell him about meeting Cornelius and Edward's just as relieved as I am that he took the news well about me not joining them for the European tour.

"Eight months." He runs one big bare toe over my shin. "That's ridiculous." He kisses the side of my mouth.

We talk about his day at work. The board still hasn't made a decision and Edward is getting nervous about it. I think he'll be okay whatever the outcome, but he just needs to know where he stands, whether he'll be getting a new boss or taking over Dr. McKenzie's position.

"Have you met this other guy?" I say, stroking his bare foot with mine.

"No." He absent-mindedly passes his thumb over my wedding band. "Apparently, he's also negotiating with Mount Sinai."

"Oh, is it a good idea to be so open about that?"

"I'm not sure." Edward is silent for a few moments, coming out of his daze only when I tickle the underside of his slightly stubbly chin.

"Do you want dessert?"

"I think I already had it as an appetizer," I smile as I get up and Edward pulls me onto his lap. "But I am certainly not opposed to a second helping."

=====oOo=====

The next day finds me at my first dance rehearsal. There have been two read-throughs where I met my fellow actors. My leading man, Felix, reminds me a bit of Emmett. He's huge and muscular and friendly, with gentle blue eyes. Like me, he didn't train to be a musical actor, which relaxes me a little.

We're at the dance studio in the building where we're rehearsing, since the New Theater stage won't be available for another six weeks. Having done our warm-ups, Felix and I watch and listen to Alec as he explains the moves of the first dance, which comes shortly after Kate and Pete's first meeting.

Our version of Shakespeare's _The__Taming__of__the__Shrew_ takes place in the Twenties, and the playwright, Jon Joham, along with Rachelle Huilen, the composer and lyricist, decided to make some major changes, starting with our names. We will not be Katherine and Petruccio, but Kate and Pete. From what it looks to me, it's shaping up to be more like a drawing-room comedy combined with glitter and music than a typical Shakespeare production.

Alec in action is even more intimidating than when I first met him. He's a small guy, but he has a commanding presence and a sharp tongue. Watching him demonstrate the moves is easy enough, but repeating them is a completely different matter, and it's terribly frustrating to have my arms and legs disobey me all the time. I _know_how to do this, for God's sake, only I can't _do_ it.

Felix isn't faring much better, all long limbs and desperate sounds.

By the end of our two-hour session, Alec faces us with raised eyebrows, his sharp little face contorted into a horrified grimace.

"Okay, you two," he says in his slightly nasal voice. "Get your shit together."

Felix and I nod in unison, clinging to our water bottles.

"I don't care when, how or where you do it," Alec says. "But you guys need to catch up. I can see that you're not that bad – not at all – but you're out of training, so do something about that."

Overcoming the sudden urge to cry, I agree and, looking at Felix, it's easy to see that he's feeling the same way.

That night, I take an hour-long run through Central Park and dine on an apple and a protein shake.

Early on Friday night, I'm soaking in the tub after a long, hard week of rehearsing and training. Felix and I have been meeting every day to practice our dancing. I know it will be getting better eventually, but there are some tough weeks ahead and right now I'm simply wiped out, every muscle burning from the unfamiliar strain.

I can hear the door close downstairs, and my stomach flutters happily.

_Edward is home._

A few minutes pass and it's silent. Knowing him, he is in the kitchen, putting away the groceries he bought or playing with Cedric. I close my eyes, happy that the weekend is rehearsal free, although Felix and I will meet for a couple of hours tomorrow. And I have an appointment with my old acting coach, Miss Cope.

I open my eyes when the door creaks. Edward grins at me, slightly inclining his head.

He's naked, and he's gorgeous.

_Fuck-hot, to be precise._

His skin still has a beautiful golden shimmer and his hair is bronze-flecked from the sun. Sparkling green eyes smile down at me.

"Hey." He licks his lower lip.

"Hey."

He looks good enough to eat, all tall and lean and muscular. My eyes follow the trail of hair that leads from his belly to the Land of Happy.

"Care for some company?"

He leans against the doorframe, smiling, aware that I'm ogling him, but he doesn't mind.

"Absolutely."

He steps into the tub and slips into the water behind me, wrapping his long arms and legs around me.

"Hi," he says when I turn my head to kiss him hello.

"Mmm…" Sighing, I melt into his body. Nothing relaxes me like Edward's proximity.

"I bought a bottle of Dom Perignon," he informs me.

"Wow." I entwine my fingers with his.

"And we're going to drink it in a moment. It's thirty years old." He kisses my shoulder.

"But my birthday's not until tomorrow," I protest.

"All the more reason to celebrate the last day of your twenties," he replies, drawing lazy circles on my breast. "There's another reason too."

"What?" I whisper, my body reacting to his touch. "What… is it?"

"You," he says, running his finger up and down my stomach, "are married to the brand-new head of cardiac surgery at Lenox Hill Hospital."

A large amount of water splashes over the edge of the tub as I abruptly sit up, turning around so I can look at him.

Edward smirks. He looks beautiful, proud and happy, and a little boyish. More water splashes as I hug and kiss him, his cheeks, his lips, his neck and his nose.

"I'm so proud of you, darling… So proud…"

Our kisses get more urgent, our moves slippery as we touch each other's wet bodies.

"Bed?" Edward mumbles against my breast. "Fucking underwater is so trying…"

"Yes…" I whimper as his fingers hit a particularly sensitive spot...

Later, Edward joins me in bed with said bottle of champagne and two glasses. He's still naked. So am I.

While he opens the bottle, he tells me the rest of the story from where he left off in the tub due to… more pressing issues.

"The whole department was there," he smiles, "and when Demetri announced it, there was _applause.__"_ He kisses my nose. "And you know how nice that feels."

"I'm so proud of you," I say for the umpteenth time and kiss his bicep. "I love you so much. So much, much, much." I kiss a path to his shoulder and collarbone.

"I love you more," he says, handing me a glass of Dom Perignon from the year I was born.

It's exquisite, but my husband is even more so.

We spend the whole night talking, touching and kissing, drinking champagne, laughing and planning ahead.

When midnight arrives, Edward happens to be on top of me, inside me, all around me, his _happy__birthday_ a hot whisper in my ear.

**EDWARD**

Since we returned home only ten days ago, neither Bella nor I had the time to plan anything for her birthday. Cue Alice Cullen and Seth Clearwater, and dinner for twelve at the Russian Tea Room.

I left her twenty minutes ago, sound asleep with her lips a-pout and her hair… Well, it looked a bit like mine. I'm making an omelet with tomatoes and feta cheese, while the coffee brews and the candles on the chocolate cake are waiting to be lit.

Cedric is purring around my legs, now very much his old self after ignoring us for a couple of days when we returned from Italy. I set his bowl down for him and he starts munching away.

When breakfast is ready, I put everything on a tray and make my way upstairs, lighting the candles before I enter our bedroom.

Bella is still asleep when I put the tray down.

"Happy birthday to you," I sing softly, peppering the warm skin of her neck and chin with kisses. She sighs comfortably, and I can feel her lips curl upward. "Happy birthday, my love. May this new year of your life bring you all the happiness and fulfilment you deserve." I peck her lips.

Bella slowly opens her eyes, smiling sleepily. She moves around, laying her head on my lap, staring up at me with huge, dark eyes. She grabs my hand and kisses it.

"Thank you, my darling." She catches sight of the cake. "Is that chocolate?"

"Yes," I chuckle. "Of course. You're my chocolate girl."

"Mmm…" Bella grins and kisses my knee before I help her sit up so she can blow out the candles.

"Did you make a wish?"

Bella nods, her eyes full of love. She hugs me and kisses my ear and then we have breakfast in bed and she gets her present, because we were rather too _occupied_last night for that. I bought it back in Florence without her noticing. It's a set of antique emerald earrings, embedded with tiny diamonds. More presents are waiting downstairs, alongside a ginormous bouquet of pink and cream-colored roses.

Bella tells me that I'm crazy, and I tell her that I'm crazy about her. We have a very peaceful day, slowly getting ready until it's time to leave for Bella's dinner.

=====oOo=====

"Bella, Bella!" Alice cries, hugging her tightly. "Happy birthday!"

Jasper stands by with an indulgent smile on his face until my sister is finished and lets him congratulate the birthday girl as well.

Alice and Jasper are the last ones to arrive; apparently, she had to make some last-minute changes to her latest collection.

It took Ali some time to establish herself in the fashion world, but being her, not too long. She eased herself into that world very smoothly, and is happier than ever, designing her own stuff instead of being a costume designer for plays. She's preparing for her second show, but of course it didn't prevent her from planning Bella's birthday party. With Seth by her side, they have managed brilliantly. We're in a private room at the Russian Tea Room, with three elegantly-dressed waiters serving us champagne.

Bella looks breathtaking in a dark blue velvet dress that shows off both her cleavage and her legs. And arms, and waist, and feet and eyebrows…

I am digressing, which happens regularly when I stare at my wife.

_Fuck, I still can't get over the fact. My wife._

By the time the appetizer is being served, our guests are in high spirits, conversation flowing effortlessly, the sounds of laughter and chattering mingling with the soft music that Seth chose.

Bella has a great time, I can tell by the way she talks and laughs and is relaxed among her friends and… family.

Wow. That's still a big thought. Because they aren't her blood-related family. But since she's married to me, they are. And I know she loves Alice and adores Mom. She and Jasper get along extremely well, always finding subjects to discuss that they are both interested in.

She and Emmett are friends, too. Of course. Because no one in their right mind could not be friends with Emmett McCarty, the big teddy bear. And Rose? Well, Rose is a tough cookie, but she and Bella have become friendly in their own quiet way.

Then there's my dad. He adores Bella, and claims that he never had any bad thoughts at all about our relationship. Which is a barefaced lie, but since it works, who am I to remind him of the fact?

Bella's hand finds my leg underneath the table, her touch calming me a little as she draws a few soothing circles.

It took me ages to open up to her about my issues with my father. When I did, she cried, and I felt like shit, because he's not _that_ bad. But still, we've had our problems, ever since I hit puberty. I went to London and Tuscany for six months right before college and returned to London for a semester when I was already a med student. Just to get away from Carlisle. To get away from his über-presence, from his perfection and reputation and expectations. I love my father, but we've never had it easy, and he has never been willing to address the elephant in the room.

I know that he doesn't like my connection with Aro for that reason. Aro has always been understanding and encouraging. Like Bella, he wouldn't mind if I decided to become a crab fisher tomorrow.

Pity he can't be here tonight. He adores Bella, and the feeling's mutual. He's like a joker in a deck of cards.

Bella brings her face to my ear when no one is looking. Her lips almost touch my skin, and her breath tickles me.

"Are you okay, baby?"

She seldom calls me baby – only when I'm sick or unhappy – and even though I have this protective side to me, I like it now and again. She's protective of me, too.

"Yes, love." I swiftly kiss her lips. "I'm good. Are you enjoying your birthday party?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"You look so beautiful…"

"Bella!" Alice cries. "Time for your surprise!"

Bella groans and hides her face in my chest.

The surprise turns out to be less than frightening. Jasper, Alice, Rose and Emmett have gone together to get her a "shoe trip" to Manolo Blahnik's that she can finish off with a candlelight dinner for two at Sardi's.

"You can pick the person you want to go with," Alice announces.

"So you guys believe I need to think about this?"

She kisses me softly.

That night, we make love again and again, our bodies insatiable for each other, our hearts connecting as we kiss and moan and taste, reveling in our connection, in the knowledge that we're meant to be.

The first month of my new position as head of department is gruesome. I love it, love the possibilities and the responsibility it brings, but finding my way in the new job means a hell of a lot of work, and much more of it than I'd like takes place behind the new desk in my new office rather than an operating room.

I'm grateful and surprised that almost all of my coworkers are very supportive. I was afraid that it might be awkward between Ben and me, but it isn't. Demetri is extremely helpful, and I frequently find myself in his office, asking for his advice on how to handle personnel decisions or duty rosters.

There are more meetings and conferences for me now, and I would gladly ignore that part of the job, even though it is interesting. The most important thing, to me, is that I still get to work with the patients, doing consultations and operating.

We have a few new colleagues, the redhead that came into Demetri's office the other day among them. We didn't meet again until a pregnant woman with a valvular heart defect was admitted and we worked together. Victoria is an extremely intelligent and ambitious young woman with innovative ideas and a very straightforward way of handling things. We had lunch together a couple of times, and I really like her and look forward to working with her more often.

I invited her and her husband, James, for dinner at our place, along with Demetri and Ben and their wives. I have to meet James yet, but Victoria told me that he's a doctor in my field as well, working at a private practice.

Bella isn't overjoyed when I tell her of my plans for hosting a dinner with my colleagues, and I actually can see her point. She's been rehearsing for six weeks now and it clearly is the most stressful thing she's ever done. The dancing and singing lessons are wearing her out and she's constantly being harassed by that choreographer, Alec.

We don't see a lot of each other and Sundays have become sacred. When I am not on call, that is.

October has come with a last bout of golden sun, turning the park into the most glorious colors. Fall tends to be a difficult time for Bella because of her chronic depression, but she's been very well for a long time now, taking her medication and seeing her shrink, Dr. Banner, once a month.

I think that the success she found last year in her profession, along with the new stability in her personal life, play a part in that as well.

She looks more beautiful than ever right now, her arm slung around my waist as we walk through the park, dried leaves crunching under our feet. Her cheeks are pink from the crisp air, and her ears are covered by a grey beanie. Her eyes sparkle as she looks down from Bow Bridge. The water is glittering in the cool sun.

I kiss Bella's nose.

"You look a bit like Piglet from _Winnie__the__Pooh_," I muse. "When they're out in the snow. Come to think of it, you share some character traits as well."

"You're comparing me to a_pig_?" She frowns comically.

" Not _a_ pig. Piglet. Pooh's eternal companion. Piglet is fantastic. He's small and a bit shy, but has a huge heart and is very brave." I kiss her soft lips. "He tends to overthink stuff, and has great empathy. Like you." I kiss her again. "Piglet is the perfect counterpart to Pooh."

"How so?" Bella smiles indulgently and puts her arms around my neck, gently stroking my hair.

"Pooh's bigger, and sturdier, and quite convinced of what he's doing. He gives the impression of being very confident, but in truth, he's nothing without his Piglet."

Once again, I kiss her plump lips.

"You know your Winnie the Pooh, huh?"

"Love it. Mom used to read it to me all the time. Not the Disney shit; the real thing. I'm going to look through my books tonight, and I'll read you a chapter."

"Hmm, I think I'd love that." Our lips melt once more. "Tonight?" she mumbles, while she slips her hands into the back pockets of my jeans so she can gently squeeze my butt.

"Mmm" I sigh in response, feeling her warm tongue brush over my mouth. My heart picks up a beat and I part my lips. She tastes unbearably sweet, like ripe apples and peaches. Everything about her is soft and warm and inviting. Squeezing my ass again, she presses herself against me, drawing a muffled moan from me.

"Let's go home," she whispers a moment later.

Nothing has ever sounded better.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading, and please leave a review if you like my Poohward and Pigletbella.**

**harperpitt**


	5. Why Should I Trust You?

**A/N:**

**Hello dear readers! Happy Sunday to everyone!**

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed so far; each and every one means a lot to me!**

**A huge big fat thank you to my marvellous beta dellaterra, without whom this enterprise wouldn't be as much fun for you to read and for me to write. She's the best.**

**Any remaining grammatical or typo errors are mine.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 5: **Why Should I Trust You?**

**BELLA**

Fighting for breath, I dab my face with a towel to dry off the sweat. My limbs feel like jello after a three-hour dance rehearsal.

I'm getting better at it, and so is Felix, thanks to our extra training, but Alec is something of a super-perfectionist, and I still feel that I should have majored in dance to be able to perform the way he expects of me.

Felix looks as exhausted as I do, his shirt wet after our practice, wearing an unhappy frown.

Jane, on the other hand, looks pretty smug, her skinny body not showing one drop of sweat, not a single blonde hair out of place. She has been polite but cold toward me since we met a couple of weeks ago. She will not only be my understudy, but also take over a smaller part in the production before playing my role on the European tour. Whenever I tried to establish a friendly relationship, she made it very clear that she's not interested.

We now have all of our dance rehearsals with her and Marcus, Felix's understudy, now. Everyone but me will join the tour next summer. I have to keep reminding myself that this is going to be a big Broadway show. There's real money in it. Laurent informed me a few days ago that my name would be on the marquee outside the theater.

_My name in lights. I can't believe it._

All of that is great of course, but also intimidating. There will be no postponing the opening night if someone falls ill, like Cornelius did when I had the accident, falling down the stairs in the subway after meeting Tanya.

This is big.

There are six more weeks until the show opens – and I'm already nervous.

The acting is fine. Felix and I have good chemistry, and the slapstick antics that Cornelius keeps inventing will certainly work perfectly for our characters. Just last week, we started to rehearse on the actual stage of the New Theater. The scenery that's being built is lavish and impressive. A nightclub, a luxurious bedroom, a park in spring. Right now, there's nothing but cardboard to show for it, alongside bits of wood and half-finished odds and ends that will soon be bridges and ballrooms.

The costumes will be gorgeous too. Our designer, Zafrina, came in a few days ago and we tried on the first draft, so to speak, of our costumes. I am going to be wearing the most beautiful flapper dresses and long strings of pearls and pretty shoes and… dancing the Charleston.

Taking a large gulp of water, I face Alec. He and his sister don't look much alike, except for their facial expressions, and their piercing, pale-blue eyes. Alec looks displeased, but not as displeased as usual.

"You've done worse," he says, turning on his heel and leaving with his sister.

Felix high-fives me, his worried blue eyes twinkling for once.

That afternoon, we rehearse one of the many scenes in which we fight. Cornelius has made up a smooth choreography of slapstick moves. The point of slapstick is to make it look natural and easy, which often is the hardest thing to do. Especially if you have tons of witty dialogue to deliver while you're doing it.

We have a lot of fun, and Cornelius is an insightful and sensitive director, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard work.

_Right hand, grab Felix's left shoulder – dialogue - turn to the left, slap him – dialogue – he throws me over his shoulder – dialogue – he sets me down, turn, kick, step-step right, left…_

By now, I'm dreaming about my steps sometimes. Luckily for Edward, I don't perform them in my sleep.

Cornelius ends the rehearsal around six, which leaves me enough time to hurry home and take a shower before our dinner guests arrive.

Edward, bustling about in the kitchen, greets me with a tender kiss. He looks delectable in jeans and a white t-shirt. As usual, his feet are bare, and I can't help but smile.

"Are you going to put on some shoes before our guests arrive?" I press my nose against his neck, inhaling his scent, and my whole body relaxes.

I feel completely at home within the security of his arms.

Edward chuckles deep down in his throat.

"I thought you like my feet."

"I do. They are quite… big."

He softly bites my earlobe.

"Which is to be expected," I go on, putting small kisses on his jawline. "Since most everything about you is… big."

"Baby," he murmurs, running his hands up and down my sides. "How I'd love to ravish you here and now…"

I can feel my breathing increase as I think back to the last time we had kitchen sex, Edward bending me over the counter and…

I groan, knowing we won't have time for any of this right now.

"I love you," I whisper against his warm lips. "And I'm very much looking forward to you having your way with me later on tonight." I kiss his scruffy chin. "But now I need to take a shower."

"Pity," he complains with an overly dramatic sigh, giving my ass a gentle slap before I run upstairs.

Relaxing my sore muscles in the hot shower, I think about what I should wear tonight.

We're expecting Ben and Angela, whom I haven't seen for a few months. It was a few weeks before we left for Europe I think, at a hospital summer party. Angela was barely showing then, but totally happy when she told me she was pregnant for the second time. I'm glad she'll be there, knowing that she and Ben have been close to Edward for years.

Edward's boss Demetri and his wife are coming as well. I know that with his new position at work, it's going to be even more important for Edward to be on good terms with Demetri. The few times I met him, I liked him. He's charming and nice, and I know that Edward respects him greatly.

In addition to these four, Edward also invited his new coworker, Victoria, and her husband. Edward has only good things to say about Victoria, so I'm looking forward to meeting her, even though I tend to feel a little ill at ease when surrounded by Edward's colleagues.

My world is so different from theirs. They save lives and I… I just play. I've come to know more about medicine; living with a doctor will do that to you. Still I feel inadequate when I have to make small talk with important doctors and professors.

It's almost funny to think what different backgrounds Edward and I are from. Well, at least now I can think of it as funny. I used to find it awkward and intimidating. He's from old European money, and has had an education that mine cannot match. My dad is a cop in Seattle who raised me on his own. Okay, not totally on his own, considering that Sue stepped in somewhere along the way, bringing Seth and Leah into our lives, but still.

It's still shocking that, being married to Edward, I might be considered rich. I am trying to get used to things that are completely normal for him, like hiring people to clean your house, taking cabs, eating out. He doesn't have to think about the price, while I am used to calculating so I have enough money at the end of the month. Not even two years ago, I was a server at Mike's Honkey Tonk; now I live on the Upper East Side, in a two-story apartment that belongs to… _us._

Edward has a very down-to-earth approach to money. It can make your life more comfortable and more pleasurable, and you can use it to help other people. That's it. It can't buy you happiness, or good health, or peace of mind.

I'm not stupid. I know that there are probably people who think that I married Edward to advance in society. I know how it might look from the outside: the out-of-work actress, sleeping her way upward.

I still have my own bank account. Edward insisted on providing me with a shiny credit card, but I have yet to use it. I know he didn't mean it to make me feel like a kept woman; he was more like_, imagine if the fridge breaks and I'm not there and you need to get a new one. _Which was actually a cute example because the only reason I ever open the fridge is to get milk for my coffee or a Pepsi.

As I finish blow-drying my hair, I end my musings and dig through my closet, deciding on a simple grey sheath dress with a plum-colored cardigan and a string of pearls. It's elegantly understated and very _I am Mrs. Cullen, Dr. Edward's wife_.

_Dr. Edward…_

When I get downstairs, Dr. Edward is looking very sexy in his grey suit and shiny shoes. He watches me with a lopsided smile as I descend the stairs.

"Oof, you look hot, baby."

"So do you." I close the distance between us and put my palm on his chest, looking up into his large, almond-shaped green eyes. I still think it's unfair for a guy to have those lashes.

But then, that's Edward: full of contrasts. He's masculine and playful, strong and vulnerable, manly, elegant, robust and gentle. He has a definite feminine streak and still is a total man. A very good-smelling man.

My hands are roaming his back when the doorbell rings. Edward huffs and kisses the top of my hair.

"I'll mark the page we're on," he grumbles lightly.

Ben and Angela are the first to arrive. She's absolutely huge and looks very happy, as does Ben. We chat easily over glasses of Riesling and orange juice, and Edward demands to see the latest pictures of his two-year-old godson, Conner, while I put the flowers they brought into a vase.

Demetri and Heidi are the next to arrive, bringing more flowers and a bottle of Sancerre. Demetri is a huge guy with black hair that's peppered with streaks of white and a matching beard. His wife is petite and warm-hearted, well preserved in that upper-class way ladies her age often have. I don't think it's facelifts or even botox; it's more like high-end facial scrubs and five-hundred-dollar creams. I like her right away, even before she asks me about the play I'm rehearsing, promising that she and Demetri will come and see it.

Chatting easily, we sit in front of the fireplace that crackles cosily. Just when I can tell that Edward is getting a tiny bit nervous about his _osso buco_, the bell rings for the third time.

Victoria is a stunningly beautiful woman with the most spectacular red curls I've ever seen. She's tall and very slender and possesses a commanding presence. Her husband James is handsome, with sandy-colored hair and piercing blue eyes. He's quite a bit older than her, in his late forties I guess. They bring more flowers and wine and after a few minutes of small talk, Edward leaves me with our guests to tend to the appetizers.

Conversation flows easily, but I'm still glad for Angela's presence, as she is the only one I know a little closer. She's her usual quiet self, rubbing her protruding stomach and smiling warmly.

Over a delicious pumpkin soup and more Riesling, the five doctors at the table manage to avoid talking shop. Instead we chat about movies and art shows and there are anecdotes from our honeymoon and Angela describes her search for a new stroller.

"I mean it's a stroller, right? I thought we'd just use Conner's, but my cousin convinced me that there are so many amazing new products…"

While she continues to tell her cute story, I can feel Edward's pinkie touch mine. He's smiling as he listens to Angela, not even looking at me, but I love the way we connect.

Victoria asks Angela lots of questions, and only now do I remember that she is an OB/Gyn. Their conversation gets lively about stuff I have no inkling about. I drift off a bit, realizing that my day has been long and that two glasses of wine have made me tired. Edward's hand on mine startles me out of my haze. He gives it a little squeeze, smiling at me, his eyes asking silently if I'm okay. I smile too and force myself back into the conversation.

The evening passes pleasantly. James seems to be on the quiet side, while Victoria is talkative and outgoing. She appears to have a very holistic approach to her job and her life and tells us all about yoga and Schüssler salts and stones that heal. Edward listens with interest and asks her lots of questions. Victoria is clearly extremely intelligent and highly educated, and I shouldn't even think this about our guest but I don't like her much. Part of me thinks it's jealousy, bred by my old feelings of inferiority because she's beautiful and clever and self-assured. But I'm not a teenager anymore, and I'm not intimidated. It's just that something about her seems… I can't even put it into words.

Maybe it's the way she talks, her voice a little too soft and friendly, her views always a tiny bit too enlightened and understanding. She seems so convinced of everything she says, and so completely above everything and everyone.

There is a large egg-shaped tiger's eye on her necklace, which, she explains, is symbolic for strength and courage. She has just finished a course on ayurvedic pregnancy diets. Everything about her is about being in balance, being healthy and being in tune with yourself. She, of course, is the prime example for this way of life. Not that she says it, but she's managed to make it clear, having made herself the center of conversation for the past thirty minutes.

But for some reason, I don't buy it.

Her blue eyes are detached, and her eloquence and brilliance are impressive, but there's something cold about her.

And she has absolutely no sense of humor.

Anyway, I don't have to be best friends with her, so I just smile and then help Edward with dessert.

Later that night when we are in bed, I snuggle up to Edward, putting my head on his bare chest. Rain is pattering softly against the windows, and we're both tired and comfy. I can feel Edward's steady heartbeat. He's ruffling my hair.

"Was a nice evening," he murmurs.

"Yes…" His warm skin smells good, and his chest hair tickles my nose in a familiar way.

I want to say something but I'm afraid and I can't and I don't know how, so I kiss his chest and climb on top of him.

Edward is my whole life, and I love him more than anyone in the world, he makes me ridiculously happy, but sometimes I get scared for a second, and I wonder if, to him, it is enough.

"Did you…" I kiss the side of his neck, inhaling his unique Edward scent. "Did you mark the page, like you said?"

He chuckles softly, his palms spread on my ass.

"Yeah," he rasps. "I think we were here…"

Gently pulling me closer, he starts to kiss me hungrily, making me forget all about esoteric dinner guests and such.

**EDWARD**

I know I'm not entitled to say anything because my own work schedule is crazy, but I'm a bit worried about Bella. She's even paler than usual and there are dark shadows under her eyes. I know that she's working her ass off for the play and I know that she's putting all her energy and passion into it to make it work, like she always does.

But she's clearly under great stress and I'm starting to worry that it might result in a depression caused by exhaustion, which I know has happened to Bella in the past. She's constantly on edge, moving around, driven by a nervous energy that makes me anxious. She's lost some weight, which can be explained by her excessive training, but it also didn't escape my notice that she's eating very little during the day. I even went so far as to make her sandwiches to take with her to work, complete with an apple, a cookie and a can of Pepsi. Still, her pants hang low on her hips and her arms are like thin branches.

We both try to squeeze in as much _together_ time as we can but more often than not, we're both home late, ordering in, or I'm on call and need to leave for work. Mostly, we're just plain tired when we're home together after long workdays. The time we do spend together therefore is sacred.

"Edward…"

I'm standing in front of the closet as her arms sneak around my waist from behind. She kisses me between my shoulder blades and I cover her hands with mine. Her warm breath tickles my back.

"You should get dressed," she chuckles, her soft lips moving around. "We're meeting Seth and Collin in an hour."

"I'm aware of the fact," I smile. "Maybe you noticed I'm standing in front of the closet?"

"Mmm…" She giggles and gently fondles the area beneath my navel.

We still manage to be on time for lunch with Bella's best friend and his boyfriend. She hasn't seen Seth in ages, and once we're all seated in a corner of a little café in the Village, Seth and Bella start a small thunderstorm of chattering while Collin and I sit and listen with no small amount of amusement. By the time our drinks arrive, they have covered the most important topics in their lives and are laughing like banshees.

The waitress sets down four glasses and a cooler with champagne.

"Wow! What's the occasion?" Bella asks with huge eyes.

I notice how Seth's smile becomes beatific and Collin grabs his hand. Their eyes meet and for a few seconds, they're lost in an entirely private moment before they face Bella and me.

"We're getting married," Seth announces.

Bella squeals and jumps out of her seat, hugging and kissing both of them. I follow a moment later to offer my congratulations. I'm truly happy for them, and Bella is clearly overjoyed.

"There's more news," Collin says once everyone has settled back down.

"What?" Bella's excitement for her best friend is very touching.

"It's going to be a double wedding with Leah and Sam."

"No!"

"Uh-huh. Next spring, back home." Seth smiles, his black eyes shining. "And Bella? I want you to be my maid of honor!"

Bella has tears in her eyes when she nods, asking with a sniffle, "Do I have to dress up like a pink meringue?"

"Absolutely," Seth laughs.

"In that case, I'd love to," Bella says, dabbing at her eyes.

The rest of the afternoon is equally funny and happy. We skip the art show we originally wanted to visit and decide to go to the amusement park on Coney Island instead. It's a cool, sunny day, and we're all relaxed and silly, fooling around, eating hot dogs and cotton candy. That we do after riding the huge roller coaster, the Cyclone. Bella screams and shrieks the entire time, clinging to me and laughing. When we exit the train, her legs are wobbly and she can't stop giggling.

_God, how I love that woman._

It's dark when we get home, pleasantly exhausted like kids after an exciting day out. Since we ate so much junk at the park, neither of us is hungry, and we settle down in front of the fire, Bella's small body wrapped around mine, our legs entwined. She's stroking my hair, her fingers gently massaging my scalp.

As much as I love work, these Sunday nights are always bittersweet, because we both know we'll see very little of each other during the week ahead. It's somewhat ironic that we're married now and hardly ever see each other.

Running one finger up and down her spine, I notice again how thin Bella has become; I can distinctly feel each vertebra. Probably I'm overreacting, which might very well be the result of having been married to Tanya, who was anorexic.

"Do you need to get up early tomorrow?" Bella murmurs lazily.

"At six."

"That is early." I can feel her smile. She kisses my neck.

"And you?"

"Rehearsal starts at ten. I'm meeting Felix beforehand, at nine, to start warming up. And I have an appointment with Dr. Banner at five."

"Didn't you just see her the other day?" I can't remember exactly when, even though Bella always tells me about her monthly consultations with her psychiatrist. Time seems to be flying these days.

"I did… I, uh…" Bella becomes silent for a moment, causing me to look at her.

"Anything wrong?" I question her.

"No! No." she puts a small assertive kiss on my chin. "I just wanted to…. Well, you know… see her and talk about the stress I'm dealing with."

It seems logical and a good idea, but something tells me that it's only half the truth. I'm a bit worried about what the other half might be.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading, everybody!**

**Please leave a review. Reviews are the one reward fanfiction writers get, and it takes only a second to write one. I'm happy about one or two words – so PLEASE all you sweet people enjoying this, show me some love.**

**Okay here's a question for all of you. Since the wedding will take place back home in Seattle, we might meet Bella's ex Jacob Black when we get to it - after all, he's Seth and Leah's cousin. I am currently writing that episode, but I was wondering what you would like to happen? Should Edward kick his ass? Or Jacob might be sorry about having left Bella, or… I'm looking forward to your ideas!**

**See you next week!**

**xoxo**

**harperpitt**


	6. Something

**A/N:**

**Thank you to my wonderful beta dellaterra. I can never say enough how much your work means to me.**

**Any remaining errors and mistakes are mine.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 6: **Something's Got to Be Done**

**BELLA**

I'm nervous as I sit in Dr. Banner's waiting room, browsing through stupid magazines while I try to figure out what I am going to say.

I'm exhausted after today's rehearsal. Jane seems to be totally getting off on the fact that she's younger and skinnier than I am. Having her twin brother as our choreographer isn't really helping either. They have this way of throwing each other looks, and I know exactly what those looks imply: Jane should be playing my role; I got the part only because I worked with Cornelius once before. Luckily, I know that Cornelius is very happy with my work, so I don't have to worry about that too.

Reading the latest news on Brangelina, I yawn. They seem to have adopted more kids, or maybe those are their own. I've lost track, and I find it hard to concentrate anyway because I am both nervous and tired, the latter of which is entirely Edward's fault.

We didn't get a lot of sleep last night, and I just hope he was able to sneak in a nap somewhere in between. As happy as I am for him in his new position, I sometimes get concerned about the even bigger responsibility it puts on his shoulders, which Edward, overachiever that he is, doesn't take lightly.

Carlisle mentioned the other day how proud he is of his son, and even though Edward was a bit embarrassed, I could tell how much it meant to him to hear those words. I don't know why these two always have to make it so hard for each other. It's like an underlying competition, which is ridiculous. Edward seems to feel that he needs to prove himself to his father, and I can't understand where it comes from. Edward thinks it has to do with his relationship with Aro, who has always understood him better than his dad. Aro is older than Carlisle, and he's the one who manages the family's money both here and in London. I don't really understand the details, but Carlisle's feelings towards his brother seem to have somehow transferred to his youngest child. Or maybe it's because Edward is the only boy.

"Mrs. Cullen," the nurse, Veronica, calls from the door, startling me out of my musings. "You can go in now."

Dr. Banner greets me in her usual friendly, matter-of-fact way, and we sit down in two of the comfortable club chairs that are grouped in a corner of her large, airy office.

"So, Miss Swan… Or would you prefer Mrs. Cullen now that you're married? I noticed we didn't cover that during our last session, did we?"

"I'm not sure," I admit. "I'm not used to it yet, and Swan will still be my stage name, but…" I think for a few moments. "Yes, I actually think I'd like to be called Mrs. Cullen. It's who I am, right?"

Dr. Banner nods and scribbles something down on her notepad. It always feels a bit strange that she knows all those intimate details about me and there's a file with them in it.

"Okay, Mrs. Cullen." She gives me an encouraging smile. "Tell me about your past few weeks."

I talk about the strain of the rehearsals, and how my understudy manages to make me feel insecure. I answer her questions about my life with Edward, and tell her about his promotion, and how he's working far too much, which worries me.

Dr. Banner nods and makes notes and offers a few practical suggestions. By the end of our conversation, I take a deep breath.

"Dr. Banner – I…"

_God, why do I find this so hard? She's my doctor!_

"Mrs. Cullen?" She smiles.

"There's… There's a kind of… question I have…"

"Feel free to ask me."

"It's about my medication. I… um… Could I continue taking it if I got pregnant?"

My heart beats a little faster. I've been thinking about this a lot, turning the words over and over in my head.

"So this is something you and your husband are planning?"

"No… Yes… I… " I take a deep breath. "I know that it is something he wants. And I feel that I am finally at a point in my life where I want it too."

"And you're sure of that? You are sure that this is something _you _want?"

"Yes."

And I realize once more that, yes, this _is_ what I want. For us, for Edward, but also for myself.

She asks me more questions until we get back to my original query. Dr. Banner suggests changing my meds to a less harmful kind. There are no definitive answers on how antidepressants can influence a fetus, but studies have proved some drugs to be much less harmful than others.

"Could I lower the dose as well?"

Dr. Banner thinks for a moment.

"Well, you're in a very stable phase in your life right now, so I'd give it a try. If there's any reason to worry though, I want you to call me immediately. I also recommend talking this whole thing over in depth with your OB/Gyn. "

"I was going to do that, anyway," I say. "I just wanted to hear your opinion first."

"I have a few female patients who have been on antidepressants for years, and continued to take them during their pregnancies, and they have had perfectly healthy babies. There are risks, of course, and I want you to be aware of that. But for all we know, they are manageable. You will need to first change the meds and then very slowly reduce them."

"I can do that," I smile. "I mean, I just wanted your view on things. I wouldn't try to get pregnant until next summer anyway. Until the play goes on the road."

My step has a slight bounce when I exit the office, even though the sky is drab and people look downtrodden.

I feel lighter, young and carefree.

Maybe, just maybe, I have started a brand new chapter in the book of my life. Well, I probably didn't really start it. But I bought the ink and paper to write it.

===oOo===

It's seven o'clock on Thursday morning, and I'm very busy ogling my husband's ass.

It's his own fault, really, since he is standing buck naked in front of the sink while shaving.

I'm leaning against the doorframe, wearing one of his old Harvard tees, yawning and trying to wake up. I'm meeting Seth for breakfast so we can start planning his wedding, but I want to go for a run in the park before that.

Today's a rehearsal day for the group scenes and dances, and Alec wants to work with the "extras," as he calls them, before the "real actors," as he calls us, step in tomorrow. No one in New York considered me a "real actor" until last spring, so I'm extremely careful with those labels, but then Alec is a terrible bitch, and just enjoys belittling others.

I'm actually quite happy with my own progress. The extra sessions with Felix have done a world of good, and all the working out was very helpful for my condition. I also lost a bit of weight, which pleases me very much. As for the acting part, I don't really worry. Felix and I work perfectly together, and I know that Cornelius is happy with our progress.

Edward's low chuckle yanks me out of my sleepy musings. He's applying aftershave to his face, his eyes darting to mine in the mirror.

Hmm, I think he noticed me staring at his butt.

I close the small distance between us and twine my arms around him, putting dozens of small kisses on his back. My hands roam his chest and stomach, and I love the sensation of hair under my palms.

My right hand sneaks lower, following the very Happy Trail that leads my fingers to the Land of Happy.

And my hand finds one cock that's very happy to greet me, reaching out eagerly.

"Baby…"

And _oooh, _I know that tone.

I wrap my fingers around him, and Edward makes a low noise.

I kiss his shoulder, and begin to move my hand up and down. Exciting him always excites me as well. The idea that it is me arousing him is very, very hot.

He's becoming harder underneath my fingers, and I have to swallow because even though my brain may not be awake yet, my girly parts are.

Edward's hand finds my waist and in mutual understanding, we move around until his back is against the sink and I'm squatting down in front of him, my tongue darting out to tease him. Edward moans. I put my hands on his butt cheeks and pull him closer, then take him in my mouth.

_Is it idiotic to say that I love my husband's penis? Because I do._

I suck and lick and nibble, and basically just give him a nice blowjob, and it doesn't take Edward a very long time to tighten his grasp on my hair as his groaning intensifies.

I'm not going to lie; I never was hot for the taste of spunk, but it's him, it's Edward, so it's okay, and it's okay because we are that close.

"Oh my God…" Edward smiles dreamily as he helps me up. "That was incredible…"

"Mmm." I kiss his chest. "It's your own fault, you know, putting your ass on display like that."

"Oooh," Edward squeals in a way that reminds me of his sister. "In that case I'll do it more often!"

"Yeah, like you needed to," I tease him.

"Okay," Edward says, his voice deep and fake-dangerous. "I think you'll need to cancel that run, because, you know… I'm not sure you'll be able to even walk when I am finished with you…"

With that, he throws me over his shoulder, crossing the small distance to our bedroom and tossing me down on the mattress.

Later that day, Felix and I are rehearsing a very difficult scene. The banter takes place after Pete and Kate's wedding and I keep messing up my lines, going around in circles. I apologize for the hundredth time and I can tell that Felix is getting a bit impatient. At last the dance that follows goes well and the scene ends with a duet. It's a sheer pleasure to sing the tunes Rachelle composed. They're all inspired by the Twenties, and the lyrics are playful and charming. We're being accompanied by a piano, but in two weeks' time, a full orchestra will join us.

"Thanks, kids," Cornelius calls from the auditorium. "That's it. Very good." He climbs on the stage and joins us. "Very nice, Bella." He pats my cheek. "Please go through your lines again. Felix, I liked your facial expressions when Kate goes into her sermon." He nods his head and wipes his glasses. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then."

On my way home I stop for groceries. I don't know when Edward will arrive, or if he'll want to cook anything, so I call him, but it goes straight to voice mail.

Even though Edward has taught me a few basics, I'm still not much of a cook, so I buy chicken and broccoli in case he wants to cook, and a brightly colored frozen pasta dish in case he won't be home. By the time I turn the key in the front door, it's after seven. Cedric greets me with a loud meow and I stroke him behind his ear. The answering machine in the hall blinks and I play the message.

"Hey baby," Edward's voice sounds all warm and velvety. "I don't think I'll be home before ten. I know; I'm sorry. We have a heart transplant in half an hour, and it might take a long time. Just wanted to say welcome home even though I can't be there, and –" I can hear his pager go off and he mutters under his breath. "Shit, gotta go. I love you."

I sigh. I'm not surprised, having anticipated it, but I'm still disappointed. I hate to be seeing so little of Edward.

It's been five days since I saw Dr. Banner and I've been thinking nonstop about our conversation, or rather, the subject of it. But I haven't told my husband any of it. Not that I would have had a chance to, since we saw each other only in passing. Mostly, if I consider it, we only meet in bed and there, we reconnect the way we always do: physically. There never seems to be enough time to really talk.

Cedric eagerly follows me into the kitchen, pouncing on his bowl once I've filled it. I debate whether to heat the pasta thing but decide that I'm not really hungry, instead grabbing a glass of white wine. I'm just settling down in my favorite spot, the armchair by the window, next to Edward's piano, when the phone rings. Grumbling, I get up.

"Hey Sethy!"

"Bells, so good to hear you! I was going to report you as a missing person!"

"I'm sorry. Rehearsals are insane." I flop back down in the chair.

"Is that bitch still as bitchy?" he chuckles, knowing about the situation with Jane and Alec.

"Which bitch? Jane-bitch or her brother?"

"Oh, God!"

"I haven't seen her in a few days because there haven't been any dance rehearsals. I met with Felix to practice, but that was unofficial."

"Unofficial meetings with your costar, huh? What does Edward say about that?"

"Ha-ha," I reply drily. "Who did you want to be your maid of honor again?"

"About that," Seth says, "when do you have time to meet? I want to discuss stuff about the wedding with you and Alice."

"How did Alice get involved?" I wonder, sipping on my wine.

Cedric hops on my lap and bumps my arm with his nose. I feel bad because he's alone far too often and I know I should be playing with him. Edward always does.

I guess I'm a horrible cat mother.

"Oh, you know her! She loves that kind of thing. She's designing our suits too!" It's too cute how excited Seth always gets when he speaks about the wedding. "I want to talk this whole thing through with you. It's only seven more months, you know!"

Two nights later, I am sitting at Mike's Honky Tonk with Alice, Seth and Leah. I don't come here very often anymore, so it's nice to be back and lovely to see everybody. Mike grinned from ear to ear and hugged me, and Jessica cried, "Ohmygodohmygod, Bella!"

I also said hello to the kitchen staff and couldn't get rid of a deep sense of satisfaction when I heard that Valentino had been fired earlier this year due to his antisocial behavior. He used to be the chef and always made my life hell. What goes around comes around, I guess.

Now, I'm browsing through food magazines and catalogs with decoration articles while Alice jots down some preliminary designs for the grooms' tuxedos. After all, there will be three of them!

Leah is happy to let Seth make most of the decisions. She's a very down-to-earth person and I'm surprised she even agreed on a big wedding, but then it will make her brother, her mom and my dad happy, so she'll go through with it.

Slurping our margaritas, Leah and I talk while Seth and Alice chatter about finger food and color schemes.

"Has being married changed anything for you, Bella?" Her dark eyes are very serious. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but I'm actually a little worried about that, you know. What if the magic goes once we've slipped on the rings?"

"Why would that happen?" I ask, smiling when Tyler waves from behind the bar.

"I don't know." Leah toys with her straw. "Sam and I have been together for nine years not being married. Why change that?"

"Because you love each other?" I offer. "Want to grow old together? Maybe have kids?"

"Nah…" Leah shakes her head. "Not happening. My job is my baby."

Just then, Mike sets down another round of cocktails in front of us. "With my compliments," he grins. Everyone thanks him effusively and we chat for a few moments before he gets called away.

"What about you and Edward?" Leah asks.

"Yeah, I… I…"

And just like that, without any warning, I burst into tears.

Maybe it's the alcohol, or the fact that I'm overtired, or never seeing Edward – or maybe it's just the fact that I haven't talked to anyone about my conversation with Dr. banner.

Immediately, there are three sets of hands patting my shoulders and offering me tissues, and three voices, calming and caring. After a few moments, I relax, dabbing my eyes and sniffling.

"What's wrong, babe?" Seth demands softly.

"I went to see my shrink the other day," I explain in a shaky voice. "And I asked her if I could get pregnant while taking my meds and I don't even know where that came from, but for some reason I think that it's what I want and I know it's what Edward wants but we never see each other and I haven't even told him yet and everything is such a mess."

I blow my nose and stop babbling.

Leah is the first one to speak.

"You _think_ it's what you want?"

"I know how silly that sounds. But how can I know for sure, if it is something I know nothing about? You know how it was back then, after my mom left…"

Seth kisses my wet cheek.

"I think you're very brave, Bells."

"I'm not," I protest. "I'm too cowardly to even speak about it to my own husband!"

"But why?" Alice asks in a gentle voice. "Edward loves you. He _adores_ you. What are you afraid of?"

"Of not being able to give him what he wants, what he needs," I whisper. "Of disappointing him." I'm staring down at the table, at the cocktail napkin I've torn to shreds. "Of being a bad mother," I add in a low voice.

"I think you'd be a wonderful mother, Bella," Alice says softly, covering my hand with hers.

"You need to talk to Edward about this," Leah tells me.

"I know," I sigh, looking up at last. "Thanks, guys. You're the best."

The tension slowly fades, and when Seth quips, "Just imagine what beautiful babies you two will make," we order another round.

**EDWARD**

I'm woken from a deep, satisfying sleep by a low bump, which is followed by a muttered "_ouch_."

_What the hell?_

Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, I see that it's one-thirty in the morning.

_Thank God it's Saturday!_

I hear her stumble to the bathroom, grumbling under her breath. A few moments later, the shower is turned on and I fall back asleep to the soothing sound of pattering water. I hardly notice when Bella slips into the bed next to me, putting one arm around me as she snuggles up to my back. It feels heavenly and a second later I'm floating into fluffy dreams.

The next time I wake, the room is filled with the pale light of early morning. Bella is curled up into a little ball by my side. Her hair looks wild and tangled, and it appears that she fell asleep wearing nothing but a towel. I move closer to her and kiss her shoulder, snaking my arm around her. Bella sighs in her sleep.

"Baby…" she mumbles.

"Hey…" I kiss her milky-white skin, brushing my nose over her shoulder blade, inhaling her scent.

Bella's breathing is low and even, and I realize that she's still asleep.

_My sweet, sweet wife, always talking in her sleep._

I stay in bed for another ten minutes or so, but eventually get up and make coffee.

I work a bit, getting distracted by Cedric, who has taught himself to open drawers, which is actually rather entertaining. He'll sit on my desk and struggle and fumble until he has achieved his goal, and then he'll sit in the drawer, licking his paws and looking mighty pleased with himself.

I call my mom, and we talk for almost an hour. "Are you coming tonight?" she asks, referring to a fund-raiser later on. You can clearly tell that the Christmas season is approaching with its numerous festivities.

"Yes, of course," I reply. "Just make sure that Dad won't tell literally everyone about my new position. It was so embarrassing the last time"

"Oh, but Edward, he's just so proud of you, darling!"

"Because at last, I'm living up to his expectations?" I ask sarcastically, immediately regretting my tone. "I'm sorry, Mom, I didn't mean it that way. I'm glad he's proud. I'm looking forward to seeing you two, and so is Bella."

Bella happens to choose precisely that moment to show up, leaning against the doorframe. She looks very cute in a velvety blue tracksuit.

"Tell her hello," she mouths, making her way over to where I am sitting.

Mom and I end our conversation, and I stretch out my arms and pull her into my lap.

"Hey." I kiss her. "Going for a run?"

"I was planning to," she shrugs. "But it just started raining." She leans her head against mine, kissing my brow, her soft lips caressing me.

"Did you have fun last night?" I ask, running my hand up and down her spine and settling it on her butt.

"It was nice," she murmurs against my temple. "We went to Mike's and had margaritas."

"I figured as much," I chuckle. "I was woken by a loud _bump_ and you were muttering _shit shit shit."_

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," she says, but I stop her, nuzzling my face between her breasts.

A few hours later, after we've showered together, we're getting ready for the party, chatting and laughing, both of us happy and relaxed after a day of lovemaking and napping. We're listening to Cole Porter, and Bella dances around in her bra and panties, holding up dresses for me to help her decide.

"That one." I point at the low-cut grey creation of silk and chiffon in her left hand.

"Ah, you're so predictable," she laughs, running her finger down my chest.

"How so?" I grin.

"Didn't you see enough of my boobs just now?"

"I can never get enough of them," I murmur, pulling her closer. "Love your boobies." I kiss each one, reveling in the feel of silky softness once more. "They call out to me," I whisper.

"Do they now?" Bella rolls her eyes indulgently.

"Yes. Can't you hear them? They're calling _Edward! Edward_!"

"I didn't know I possessed such talkative breasts," she chuckles.

We fool around for another few moments until it's high time to get ready and we take a cab to the Waldorf Astoria. The lady at the hostess stand greets us with a large smile.

"Welcome to the annual meeting of the National Eating Disorder Association, Dr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen. Have a pleasant evening."

The foyer is already crowded with people in evening attire, the air filled with the scent of expensive perfumes and the bouquets of lilies and roses decorating every bit of space, soft piano music playing in the background. I slide my arm around Bella's waist and grab us two glasses of champagne from one of the waiters in black.

Assembled in this foyer is the _crème de la crème_– New York's finest doctors, among them my father, who is said to be one of the top neurosurgeons in the country. Bella and I are chatting with Professor Varner and his wife. I've known him since I was a kid, and he and Dad worked together at Presbyterian Hospital. He used to come to our house for dinner parties all the time back then. I haven't seen him in about eight years and he's grown so much older.

"It's very important that we give those girls and young women the support they need," he tells us. "There will be a few speakers tonight who went through the experience themselves, and were able to fight their eating disorders."

His eyes wander to someone behind me, and he smiles.

"Why, speaking of whom – Bella, Edward, meet our first speaker."

I turn around to look at the person he is referring to, and my blood turns cold.

"This is Tanya Denali."

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thanks to everyone for reading! **

**Please, please leave a review; I am putting so much love and effort in this story, and I'd love to hear your thoughts. So many of you have this story on alert, which I am deeply thankful for – please drop a review, it only takes a second.**

**Thanks!**

**xoxo**

**harperpitt**


	7. That's Why I Love You

**A/N:**

**Thank you so, so much to all of you who took the time to review! It means the world to me.**

**This chapter comes early, due to the fact that my computer needs to see a doctor. I therefore can't promise that I'll be able to post a chapter next weekend, but let's keep our fingers crossed!**

**Thank you to the wonderful dellaterra, who betas this story and puts up with Cockney vampires and such.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

Chapter 7: **That's Why I Love You**

**EDWARD**

I can feel Bella freeze by my side when Tanya joins our group. She looks every bit as shocked as Bella does, but she tries to smile anyway.

Professor Varner, unaware that anything is out of the ordinary, cordially introduces everyone. It's horribly awkward, and I think Mrs. Varner notices that something's amiss. I guess she reads more gossip magazines than her husband does.

There's an embarrassing silence before, surprisingly, Tanya is the first to speak.

"Edward and I know each other," she says, with a mixture of melancholy and amusement. "We used to be married, you know."

"Oh," Professor Varner stutters. "Oh, I am so sorry. I had no idea…"

"It's okay," I say. "How could you have known?"

More excuses are made, and Tanya is very gracious about it.

I look at her. She's very different from when I last saw her. She has gained weight, and she seems relaxed, at ease. The last time I saw her was for mediation over two years ago. Back then, she was haggard and dreadfully skinny, and I was convinced that she was under the influence of something. Now, her eyes are clear and undisturbed. Her strawberry-blonde hair is long and wavy. She is wearing an elegant black dress.

After a few minutes, Professor Varner and his wife get called away, leaving me with my wife and my ex-wife, and I can't say which one of us is the most terrified.

"I'm sorry," Tanya says. "When I agreed to make a speech, I had no idea you'd be here."

She eyes Bella and me nervously. She looks so different. Not like the über-beautiful girl I met years ago, but like a woman at peace with herself.

"It's not your fault," Bella says, surprising me, and, I think, Tanya. "What is your speech going to be about?"

Tanya looks at her for a second, and I can see a new respect for Bella in her eyes. A small smile shows on her face. She's still extremely beautiful, but no longer in that generic, model-like way. She has gained depth and personality.

"I'll be speaking about how the modeling business gives young girls very wrong role models. I'll be talking about my own experiences with anorexia and drugs."

"That's very courageous of you," Bella says.

Tanya shrugs one shoulder.

"I almost fucked up my life." She looks at me with something like regret in her eyes. "Edward can tell you all about it. I don't want that to happen to others."

A skinny woman in a business suit approaches us, telling Tanya that it's time for her to go backstage.

Tanya looks at Bella and me.

"It was good to see you."

A second later she's gone, and Bella and I stare at each other.

"That was… pretty surreal," I say after a moment.

"It was." She looks at me with dark, concerned eyes and takes my hand. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. Are you?"

"I'm good." She smiles and gives my hand a little squeeze. "Let's go inside and hear what she has to say."

Tanya's speech is eloquent and surprisingly honest. She talks about her years of drug abuse and anorexia, and how, in the end, therapy literally saved her life. I'm shocked and touched when she mentions me indirectly, saying that she understood in retrospect how she made not only her own life, but also other people's lives, hell.

She receives warm applause when she's finished, and I can feel Bella's hand slide into mine.

"I don't mind if you want to talk to her for a bit," she whispers.

_This evening cannot possibly become weirder._

There are two more speeches before the buffet is opened, which seems a little odd, considering that this evening is supposed to be about eating disorders. A jazz band is playing in the background, creating a mellow atmosphere while expensively dressed people mingle, chat and network.

I watch Bella as she talks to Heidi, and I can tell that she's talking about her play by the way she's gesticulating and smiling. I'm in a conversation with Victoria and James, but when I see Tanya across the room, I make my excuses.

"Edward?" She looks surprised.

She must be twenty-seven by now, but her eyes reveal a wisdom beyond her years.

"I'm glad you're better," I say. "Your speech was great."

"Thanks. Yes, I'm better. Quitting modeling was the best decision I ever made."

"What are you doing now?"

"Actually, I finished my GED last year, and I'm attending Hunter College right now. I want to become a social worker. After my experiences, I think it might be good to help other people." She laughs shyly.

"Wow, Tanya… I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that." I feel rather overwhelmed. Tanya hasn't been on my mind a lot lately, but right now I realize once again that she used to be an important part of my life. It seems so long ago.

"Thank you." She frowns. "Look, Edward, I wanted to contact you but… I felt so ashamed. I'm sorry for the way things went down. I know a lot of it was my fault. I'm sorry for what happened to Bella. I mean, we'll probably never know if I was involved in her accident, but…"

Tanya sighs deeply, and I can tell that her remorse is sincere. I even catch a glimpse of the woman I first met.

"It's okay, Tanya." I smile. "Let's just be happy that things turned out the way they did."

"I guess you're right."

We both sense that the conversation is drawing to a close, everything important having been said.

"I heard you and Bella got married," she says. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." That thought always makes me smile.

"She'll make you much happier than I ever could."

"It's good to see you, Tanya," I say, feeling a tiny bit wistful.

We hug briefly, and with that I have found closure on a very dark chapter of my life, and I feel lighter than before.

=====oOo=====

What present does one give to one's wife of six months?

Today marks that particular anniversary, and I am still looking for the perfect gift. I have flowers of course, and the ingredients for the splendid dinner I am going to cook. I wanted to take Bella somewhere special, but she argued that we're so often out and about, and that just being at home with me was special to her.

I'm browsing around at Tiffany's when my phone rings and my sister's cheerful face lights up the display.

"Ali, sweets. How are you?"

"Edward," she says excitedly. "Do you still not know what to get for Bella?"

I mentioned it the other day, and it's typically Alice to have thought about it.

"Actually, no. I'm at Tiffany's right now."

"I have the _perfect_ gift," she trills.

"You do?"

"The Rabbit," she announces dramatically.

"A rabbit? Ali, we already have a cat, I'm not sure that it would wor –"

"Not an actual bunny, doofus!" She giggles. "The _vibrator_!"

"I'm sorry?"

"It's legendary. Jasper gave me one _years_ ago and you can't imagine what wonders it will do. And it's pink! It's for girls!"

Okaaay. My sister is advising me to buy my wife a vibrator for our six-month wedding anniversary.

"It has a little bunny attached, to stimulate –"

"Alice! Stop!"

Ugh. The mental images coming up in connection with my sister… _No_.

"I'm just saying." She sounds disappointed. "Actually, you might just give her that footsie bath thing."

"Well, that's a great idea."

_I can still look up that rabbit device, I guess._

Once I have made my purchases, I hurry home to prepare dinner. Bella isn't back from the theatre yet so I feed Cedric. Getting to work, I start to peel carrots for the soup. I steam them in the broth I made the other day and then puree them before adding minced ginger, coconut milk and curry. Just when I'm sautéing the fresh prawns I bought on my way home, Bella comes in.

I didn't hear the front door because the radio is a little loud, or maybe it's my noisy and probably terrible rendition of _We Are Family._

_Yeah. Small wonder my wife thought I was gay when we first met._

Bella grins.

"Yeah, baby. Shake that ass!"

She comes over and I do exactly that, giving her a reason to softly slap my butt.

"God." She kisses me. "I've been dancing all day and now you're doing it at home too." She pecks my lips again. "Mmm, that smells amazing." She peers beneath the lid of the pot. "Do I have time for a quick shower?"

"Sure." I kiss her nose. "You're very chirpy."

"Am I? Well, I guess I am. I'll be back in ten minutes."

She darts out of the kitchen. For a moment, I wonder if she's aware of the fact that this is our six-month anniversary. Maybe I'm just being silly, wanting to celebrate it.

Bella joins me in the dining room while I am opening a bottle of wine. She looks incredibly sexy in a long, comfy robe made of dark green velvet with an indecently low-cut neckline.

"You look amazing," I say.

"You're very handsome yourself, Dr. Cullen."

She steps close to me and slides her arms around my waist. Gazing down into her dark, warm eyes, I feel more complete than before.

"Do you know what day this is?" she asks, smiling.

"Um, yes, it's Thursday," I say, raising my left eyebrow.

Of course I'm awful at lying to her, and the twitching corner of my mouth betrays me.

"Edward Cullen, you're not supposed to make fun of your wife," she chides, her eyes twinkling.

"Let me think… No, that wasn't in the vows. I promised to love you and to be your mate and help you make your dreams come true, but there was nothing that forbade me to make fun of you."

I brush a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Six months," she mutters, "and already I get treated like this!"

"Oh yeah," I say, pretending to remember. "That was the other thing. Six months, right?"

Bella nods, smiling from ear to ear. She kisses me.

"I actually got you a present," she tells me.

"You did?" I kiss her nose. "Guess what: You get something too."

I quickly walk into the kitchen where I retrieve Bella's present from its hiding place in the pantry. When I return to the living room, she has put a gift in red wrapping paper with a big bow on the table.

"Oh my God, Edward," she laughs when she sees me with the large box. "What did you do?"

"Actually," I admit as I put it down, "it was Alice who alerted me to the existence of this thing, telling me where to get it. It's the most unromantic purchase I ever made."

Bella's smile gets even bigger as she scrunches up her nose, like she always does when trying to figure something out.

"Can I open it?"

"Of course you can; it's yours."

She bites her lip.

"No. I want you to go first."

We sit down and I begin to unwrap the package.

"Oh my God, Bella, this is…" I gasp. It's a photo album, or scrapbook, filled with pictures of us and decorated with tons of memorabilia: a pressed flower here, a bus ticket from London there, snippets from a museum flyer, pictures from a theater program. Every page has a comment or quotation.

"Baby, you're incredible." I pull her into my lap.

"It's one page for each week we have been married," Bella explains. "The happiest weeks I've ever known." She gently cups my cheek in her hand, her thumb stroking my skin. "I love you."

"And I love you," I reply, burying my face in her neck. "You're wonderful."

"Edward," she laughs after a few moments. "You're suffocating me."

"Sorry…" I relax my death grip. Our lips melt into a long, tender kiss. Bella's mouth is soft and sweet, and I can feel her pulse quicken beneath my fingers on her neck. She fondles my hair and moans softly, a delightful sound that goes straight to my groin.

The thing that finally moves us apart is the kitchen timer.

"Let me just check on our dinner," I say, slightly out of breath, "and then you'll have to unwrap yours."

When I return from the kitchen, Bella is sitting at the dinner table with a strange, dreamy expression, staring out of the window into the dark November night. I step behind her and lightly massage her shoulders.

"Are you okay, love?"

I kiss the top of her head and she covers my hands with hers.

"Yes," she replies. We're silent for a moment, and she kisses my fingers.

"Okay," she says in a different tone. "I want to open my huge present now." She pulls me around by the belt loops of my jeans and pretends that she's going to undo my fly buttons, grinning mischievously.

We both laugh.

"All right, later then."

I sit down next to her as she starts to unwrap her gift.

**BELLA**

Pulling the wrapping paper away, I have to giggle immediately.

"Edward! What the hell is that?"

He looks a bit sheepish.

"A footbath," he says earnestly. "So you can pamper your tired feet little feet after you've been dancing all day." He frowns slightly, suddenly looking like a little boy. "Don't you like it? I told you it's very unromantic…"

"It's great," I laugh. "You're very creative."

I kiss him, his stubble scratching me in the most pleasant way.

"You might want to, uh, look inside," Edward mumbles against my lips, his forehead pressing against mine.

"Inside the footbath?" I have to laugh again.

"Mmm-hmm."

Chuckling, I pull his bottom lip between mine before I open the cardboard box and take out the pink apparatus. It's rather heavy. I put it on the floor and peer inside.

There's a shiny object at the bottom and I look at Edward, questioning him with my eyes.

"Just so you know I'm not all that unromantic." He shrugs cutely.

It's a necklace with a golden locket. Inside is a really tiny picture of Edward and me on our wedding day, kissing. On the other side is an engraving.

_For my beloved Bella. I will always be your Edward._

I am so touched that I shudder, tears pricking behind my eyes. I climb into Edward's lap and wrap my arms around him. I kiss his neck, his ear, his chin.

"And I," I whisper, "will always be your Bella."

He holds me very close and I am so happy that my heart tries to fly out of my chest. We kiss for endless minutes, softly, tenderly, loving and cherishing each other.

When we finally have dinner, it's so delicious that I want to bathe in my soup. The room is lit by candlelight, with soft music playing in the background. We talk about our respective days, and Edward tells me a story about a young girl with cardiomyopathy who was allowed to go home today, and how her parents and two sisters came to fetch her, bringing balloons and flowers for his office.

"I love days like that." He smiles and takes a sip of his Sancerre. "They outweigh the horrible ones."

I take his hand and pass my finger over his wedding band.

"Do you know that I am really, really proud of you, darling?"

Edward's lips draw up, the left corner of his mouth lifting a little higher than the right one.

"Even though we see so little of each other? I'll be on call all weekend…"

"What about Thanksgiving?"

"Yes." He sighs, his lovely green eyes overshadowed. His brows knit together. "I'm sorry, love. But I'll still be able to attend dinner with the family, if all goes well."

"Okay…"

"It'll get better once I've settled in."

Edward kisses me sweetly.

"Now," he murmurs, clearly wanting to chase the sour mood away. "Do you want dessert?"

While Edward is in the kitchen, I get a little nervous. Once again, I catch myself staring out of the window, completely in my own world.

_Maybe I should give it to him tonight…_

Three weeks have passed since my consultation with Dr. Banner, and I have thought about the subject over and over again.

I am sure.

This is the next step.

"Edward?" I call. "I'll be upstairs for a second, okay?"

"Yes, love," he replies from the kitchen.

In our bedroom, I surprise a smug looking Cedric, sitting inside the drawer of Edward's bedside table. I lift him out of it and Cedric meows in protest.

"No," I tell him. "This is not a place for cats!"

I know he doesn't understand me. He leaves the room with a morose expression.

Digging through the closet, I retrieve my purchase, feeling excited.

And suddenly, because these things never come with a warning, I am panicked, breathless and hot, with waves of unpleasant warmth heating my arms and chest and neck.

I sit down on my side of the bed and take the small bottle of the Bach flowers rescue remedy that I keep in my drawer. Putting four drops on my tongue, I tell myself to calm down and breathe.

Breathe.

I haven't had a panic attack in ages.

When I feel the beginnings of one, I mostly just do what I did right now: breathe, take Bach flowers, breathe. Mostly, it works; whether the drops are a placebo or not doesn't matter to me as long as they work.

I look down at the gift in my hands.

_Everything will be fine. I'm safe. I am my own woman. I have a husband and family and friends who love me. I am –_

"Bella?"

Edward is standing in the doorway. First, I only look at his bare feet. I love how the toe next to the big one is a little longer than the others. His feet are like his hands, large yet elegant.

_Could you play the piano with your toes?_

"Baby?"

He sounds slightly worried, so I take a deep breath and look up into his face. He's so handsome, all big man and crazy hair. It has a copper color due to the lights from the hallway.

Running a hand through his hair, he steps inside.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." I smile and stretch out my hand for him. "Come here."

Edward sits down next to me on the bed and I keep our fingers entwined. Edward finally notices the gift on my lap.

"What's that?" he asks softly.

Our eyes meet and it's when I stare into his, dark in the weak light from the bedside lamp that I am sure.

"It's a gift," I say. "It has been sitting in my closet for a few weeks." I hand it to him. "I wanted to wait for the right moment, and I think this might be it."

Edward looks bewildered by my cryptic announcement. He runs his thumb up and down my hand.

I give him a soft peck on the lips.

"Open it."

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading. Please leave a review if you liked it.**

**Reviews are my personal brand of heroin…**


	8. Yes, Yes, Yes

**A/N:**

**Hey guys, I'm FINALLY back. My MacBook had to go into repair, I was sick, my darling beta had things to do, blah blah… I'm terribly sorry for the delay. Thank you all for your patience!**

**Thank you, as always, to my wonderful beta dellaterra! **

**Any remaining mistakes and errors are mine.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 8: **Yes,Yes,Yes**

BELLA

He stares down at the gift on his lap.

"Open it," I urge him again, getting more nervous with every second.

Edward's long fingers untie the ribbons and he unwraps the paper, revealing two brand-new bound volumes of _Winnie__the__Pooh._

My mouth is terribly dry.

Edward opens one of the books and browses through it, probably looking for a hidden meaning.

"Well, thank you…" He kisses me. "You are aware though, that I already possess these books, right?"

"Yes."

I need to swallow. Our faces are so close together that I can feel his breath, a strand of his hair tickling my brow.

"You said you thought that every child should own a copy, so…" My voice is a low whisper. "If we want any, well, we already have the book for… for the first…"

There's a long silence and neither of us moves.

Outside, a helicopter circles, the sound muffled by the thick glass of our bedroom windows.

Edward is still silent. I feel so horribly vulnerable right now. If only he'd say something.

"Bella…" He's so close our lips are almost touching. "Do you mean… Do you mean what I think you mean?"

His voice is hoarse.

"Well, we'd… We'd have to wait till after the play closes, but… _yes_."

"Really?" He cups my face in his hands, pulling back a little so he can look at me properly. He looks just as vulnerable as I feel, his huge green eyes filled with longing.

"Yes," I whisper. "Really."

Even in the dim light, I can tell that his eyes are moist.

"_Really_?"

"Yes!" A tear runs down my own cheek and I smile, love and relief at finally having said it out loud flooding my body. "Yes, Edward."

With that, he pulls me as close as humanly possible, burying his face in my hair.

"Bella…"

He's holding me close, so close, and my eyes brim over with tears as I realize that this is _right._Slowly, the turmoil inside me quiets and is replaced by a deep and steady sense of security and certainty.

I let myself relax into Edward, his scent and his trusted body close to mine making me feel boneless. He's warm and strong, his even breathing grounding me even further.

When we part enough to look at each other, Edward looks divinely content.

"You," he says tenderly," are making me the happiest man on this planet."

He kisses me then, warm lips brushing against mine in moves so soft, so reverent hat I can't help but shudder. Our lips play with each other, tugging and caressing, our breaths mingling. We stay like that for a long time, kissing almost tentatively, as if for the first time, with whispered "I love you"s the only sounds except for the soft ones our mouths create. Edward's tongue darts out to pass over my lower lip, then pushes past my teeth, exploring, ultimately stroking against mine.

Now and then we stop for a second to utter more words of love and tenderness before our mouths connect again. Laying back, I pull Edward on top of me, running my hands through his hair, massaging his scalp.

"Mmm…" he responds.

Our kisses are getting more urgent and wet, our hearts speeding up as our bodies flush with heat. Edward's hand is on my belly and moves higher until it's covering my breast.

"Ahh…" I sigh.

His lips travel to my neck and he licks a path to a spot beneath my ear, where his tongue causes me to tremble with anticipation, while his dexterous fingers fondle my breast. He's making me dizzy with pleasure. Desperate to touch his hot skin, I start tugging at the hem of his shirt. We pull it over his head together and I moan when I feel his naked torso, my fingers impatiently roaming his muscular back.

"Baby…" Edward's breath is hot and coming in gasps.

He unbuttons my gown and kisses every inch of newly exposed skin, licking and sucking until I'm moaning his name.

"God," he murmurs, kissing my soft flesh through the lace of my bra. "I love your breasts…"

He tugs at the material so he can put his mouth on my nipple. He circles it with his warm, wet tongue a few times before he begins to suck.

"Ah! Oh, Edward…"

I'm afraid I'm scratching his back too hard, but he doesn't seem to notice. His erection is bulging behind the fly of his jeans, pressing into my thigh. I want to reach down and touch him, but Edward grabs my hands and keeps them prisoner above my head while he feasts on my breasts.

I'm losing track of time, floating on an Edward-induced high, basking in the sensations he evokes.

"Mmm…" Edward licks a trail down to my belly, kissing it all over. "I can't wait to put a baby in there…" he whispers, causing me to tighten my grip on his hair.

"I love you…" My breath is coming in heavy gasps. "I love you…"

"I love you too, Isabella." He swirls his tongue over my bellybutton before his lips move lower.

Painfully slowly, he hooks his fingers into the hem of my panties and pulls them down, kissing my thighs, my knees, my calves and, finally, my feet as he takes them off. Equally slowly, he then kisses and licks his way upward. When he reaches the insides of my thighs, he uses his hands to gently push them apart. I feel vulnerable spread out like that for him, but in a good way, because I trust him with every cell in my body, and the thought that I'm the only one he wants to do this to, and that he's the only one I'd ever allow to have me like this, is such a turn-on.

"Ohhh…" I sigh when I feel his tongue as it starts teasing me. Everything feels hot and soft and wet and I'm drowning in the joy he's giving me. Edward hums softly, carefully licking over my clit, and I moan aloud. He grabs my buttocks and pulls me closer into his face, groaning with pleasure.

When he enters me with two long fingers, I know I won't last much longer, and when I come a few seconds later, I whine and grunt, shuddering as my whole body is overtaken by pleasure.

My chest is heaving erratically and I am weak and blissed out.

"Love you…" Edward kisses my thigh, my hipbone, my belly, and I can feel my own wetness on my skin. He kisses his way up my body until we're side by side. There's a hungry glint in his eye and even though I'm still fighting for breath, I push him on his back. I lick over his nipple, drawing an immediate response from him. I kiss the other one and lick over it as well, making him moan. Slowly, I suck and nibble my way lower, enjoying the salty taste of his skin, and the sensation of hair that tickles my nose.

One by one, I open the buttons of his pants and pull them lower as Edward lifts his butt. I kiss him through his black boxer briefs. He's hot and so hard, and I moan at his smell, all musk and man.

"Bella…" he pleads.

I pull his boxers off along with his jeans and then, giving him a taste of his own medicine, kiss my way upward.

I love the hairs on his calves, and I love his knees. I lick the back of one, and Edward shudders, so I do the same to the other one.

Hard, muscular thighs tempt me for a tiny bite. My hands on his hips, I move higher toward my prize.

He's perfect.

Large and pink, thick veins protruding, moisture glistening at the head. I put a small kiss on him, and Edward hisses.

"Okay," he pants in a strained voice. "This is so not going to work."

"What is it?" I swiftly crawl higher until I'm at his side, facing him.

Edward has his eyes closed, wearing an expression of intense concentration.

"Edward? Did I…"

"Sorry." He opens his eyes. "I'm sorry." He smiles wanly and kisses me. "Give me a minute, okay? Because, if you do anything else right now, I'm going to blow my load immediately." He swallows, still trying to rein in his breathing. "You're way too sexy, baby…" He turns to his side and faces me. His hair is all over the place, slightly sticking to his forehead from sweating.

His eyes are tender as he speaks. "I can't…" He swallows. "I can't stop thinking of… making you pregnant… And that thought is so sexy…" He kisses me. "So erotic…"

Winding my arm around his waist, I kiss his throat.

"I love you so much. So much."

"And I love you," he whispers into my hair. I have my eyes closed, so I'm not expecting it when he starts to tease my nipple with two wet fingers until I'm sighing with desire. He gently moves me to my back and slides between my thighs so I can feel him, hard and ready.

We moan simultaneously when he enters me, feeling complete again. He doesn't move for a few moments, and we simply look at each other. I have never felt closer to any human being.

Edward begins to move slowly and I wrap my legs around his thighs. I hold him, watching his face, open and beautiful as he pushes into me. I love his weight on me, and the sounds we make together. I love the sloppy kisses we share, and the way he keeps whispering to me.

I can tell when he's getting close by the way his eyebrow twitches up, He thrusts into me deeply and forcefully and I know I'm going to come again.

"Bella… Oh… Yes…"

He hooks his arm under my thigh, driving into me even deeper until it pushes me over the edge and I explode around him, crying out. A second later, he stills and I can see sweet fulfillment wash over his face. It's incredibly sexy and intimate to see him like this.

Giving two more light thrusts, his whole body relaxes.

"Oh God…" He kisses me and I can feel his heartbeat, fast and strong. His lips are hot and sweet and salty and his smile is pure bliss.

"I love you." He puts his head on my shoulder, his hand covering my breast.

"And I love you."

Our breaths slow down and I pepper Edward's hair and forehead with kisses. He makes soft noises that convey how much he enjoys what I'm doing.

"'s my head too heavy?" he murmurs, sounding sleepy.

"No." I stroke the back of his neck.

"Huh," he chuckles. "Winnie the Pooh. How did you come up with that?"

"When you read it to me the other night," I say, "I realized I wanted you to read it to our kids one day."

"I'm so happy, Bella. You make me so happy."

He moves to relieve me of his weight, laying his head on my breast. He intertwines our fingers and we both watch our hands as they play with each other.

"Are you really sure?" Edward asks.

"Yes." I kiss the back of his hand. "I know it may feel sudden, but the therapy sessions with Dr. Banner have been very enlightening. Yes. I want this." I smile. "Just imagine a little boy with green eyes…"

"Or a tiny girl with dark eyes…" He kisses my breast.

We're silent for a while, and I almost think he's fallen asleep when his voice rumbles softly against my chest.

"What about your medication?"

"I've spoken to Dr. Banner. She recommended I switch to a different antidepressant, with a lower dosage. Studies have shown there still _might_ be a risk of babies being born prematurely, but there's no way of telling anything for sure. "

"I'm so proud of you, my little lamb." He props himself up on his elbow so he can look at me. "But why didn't you tell me you were thinking about this?"

His voice is low, his eyes hooded.

"I… I wasn't sure…" I sigh, because I don't want to make him sad. "I wanted to gain a little more knowledge first. We should probably go and talk to Dr. Banner together before… before anything happens." I swallow.

"Yeah," Edward rasps, and the mere thought of "anything happening" again puts a sparkle in his eyes. "We have all the time in the world, baby…" He kisses me softly, his lips worshipping mine, his hand cradling my face.

"I love you," he whispers against my mouth. "You cannot imagine how happy you've made me today."

"I love you," I reply.

Edward kisses me again, and it's so loving and tender that I want to melt into him. I hook my leg around his waist, wanting to be as close as possible.

"Mmm," he sighs, and while his palm moves over my breast again, I can feel him grow hard by my hip once more.

"Ungh," is the sound that escapes my mouth when his fingers lightly tweak my nipple, the sensation shooting directly to my groin.

"If we want to get this right," he murmurs, licking over my earlobe, "we need to practice, don't you think?"

"Ah," I reply, running my nails down his back.

Our lovemaking is slow and lazy this time, and when we come, we're so close, looking at each other, drowning in our very own rapture.

"I love you," I murmur once again before I turn around in Edward's arms so he can spoon me.

"The bedroom door's still open. That means Cedric will join us at some point."

"I don't mind," I yawn. "I'm only surprised he didn't want to partake earlier."

Edward kisses my neck and puts his palm on its usual possessive place on my breast for a few moments, and then groans.

"What?" I murmur.

"I think I know why. I'll bet he had a party downstairs with our dessert. I put it on the dinner table before I came looking for you."

"Oh… Damn."

We both laugh softly.

"What was it anyway?"

"_Panna__cotta_."

"Which is basically just cooked cream, right?"

"Yep," Edward replies, chuckling.

I'm still smiling when I fall asleep shortly after that.

======oOo=====

**EDWARD**

I'm scrubbing my hands after a five-hour bypass operation on a three-hundred-pound man. It's after nine, and I've been awake for sixteen hours. By the time I get to Rose and Emmett's, Thanksgiving dinner will be over and the kids will be in bed.

I arrive there almost an hour later, feeling tired and hungry as I make my way to their brownstone. My sister greets me with a hug and a kiss.

"Rose. I'm so sorry I couldn't make it earlier."

"It's okay, Edward," she smiles. She looks as beautiful as ever, even with the tiny wrinkles around her large blue eyes.

She takes my coat and puts it on a hanger.

"Bella told us that it wouldn't make sense to wait for you since you might be held up indefinitely." She shrugs. She's used to a tight schedule; both she and Emmett often work overtime. In addition to that, it's the way we grew up: Our dad was always at the hospital, missing dinners and events.

_I never wanted to be like that._

"Yeah," I sigh. "We had a five-hour surgery on –"

"Edward! Edward!"

I'm interrupted by Lily, who comes bustling into the hallway.

"Lily, sweetie!" I catch her and swing her around, making her squeal adorably. "I didn't think I'd get to see you!"

"Well," says Rose, "she begged us to let her wait up for you. There's no school tomorrow, so I allowed her to stay up until ten – which means ten more minutes," she adds sternly, addressing her daughter, who is already in her pajamas.

Settling the eight-year-old girl on my hip, I follow Rose into the living room, where the rest of the family is relaxing after dinner. I greet everyone, feeling really shitty for having missed dinner.

"I'm so sorry," I say, hugging Mom, "But I just couldn't get out…"

"Don't I know it," she sighs. After all, it was she who suffered the most from Carlisle's absences, having three small children and her own career on her hands.

"It's okay, darling," she says, stroking my cheek. "You look tired, Edward."

I shrug.

"Are you hungry?" asks Rose once I've said hello to everyone.

"Starving," I admit.

"Sit down. I'll get you a piece of turkey."

Thanking my sister, I take a seat next to Bella and kiss her.

"Hi, baby."

"Hey," she smiles. She looks radiant, with luminous dark eyes and shiny mahogany curls.

Lily climbs into my lap and begins to play with my tie. It's homey and warm, and I feel myself slowly begin to relax after a grueling day. Bella's hand is on my knee, her thumb rubbing soothing circles.

Alice and Jasper are sitting across from us in the loveseat, and I'm surprised to see my sister's face wearing a frown, which is totally out of character for the normally chipper and lively pixie.

Emmett and Dale are in the corner of the room with a laptop, laughing about something. Dale has lost the awkwardness of boyhood and is looking more like his father all the time. He's as tall as Emmett and becoming rather bulky as well. Since he decided to take the medical course as well, he's always full of questions, and I'm sure he will grill me later on, just like he does at every family gathering.

Rose arrives with a plate full of food and I tuck in happily while my father asks for details of the operation.

"Oh, Carlisle," Mom scolds. "Let the poor boy eat!"

I say nothing and devour my dinner of turkey, mashed potatoes, brussel sprouts, gravy, and Esme's famous pumpkin bread.

"It's delicious," is the only thing I mumble for the next ten minutes. Everybody takes up the conversation, and the room is filled with chatter and laughter. Alice and Bella talk about Alice's spring line, while Jasper tells my parents about his trip to Texas to do research on his latest book, and also to see his family.

Alice throws him a strange look somewhere along the line, and I dearly hope that there's no trouble in paradise.

Emmett comes over to take Lily to bed, but she's busy braiding my hair, and it takes Em quite some time to get his little girl to abandon the task. I kiss her cheeks and promise to visit soon.

"Or you can come and spend a night at our place," I suggest.

"Really?" Her blue eyes grow even larger.

"Sure," I say, looking at Bella. I hope this is okay with her, but the smile she gives me in return is very sincere, if a little intimidated.

"Give your little sister a good-night-kiss for me," she says, squeezing my leg and putting a smacking kiss on our niece's cheek.

As expected, it feels a little anticlimactic after that. Rose asks me if I want some wine but I decline. I'm tired, and I still need to drive home. I finally answer Dad's questions about the surgery I performed, and he gives me his professional opinion. I have a good mind to tell him that the patient does not suffer from a neurological condition, but Bella's hand on my thigh steadies me and I smile and stay silent. Dale joins our conversation, which gives it a little life after all. He has his father's dimples and his mother's eyes. I'm sure he's breaking a lot of hearts.

Emmett needs to head to bed, having to take an early flight the next morning. The Mets don't care whether this is a long weekend or not. Jasper calls a cab for him and Alice. Mom and Dad will be staying the night.

Everyone is getting ready to leave in the foyer, putting on their coats and scarves. Before she can follow the others, I put my hand on Mom's arm.

"Mom?"

"Yes, dear?" She looks up at me, her green eyes warm and loving.

"Do you remember the Winnie the Pooh I had as a kid?"

"Of course! Maggie and Liam gave it to you for your christening."

"Is it still around?" I ask, lowering my voice.

"Sure. It must be in the attic. Why are you asking?"

I shrug, but can't help a big grin spreading over my face.

"I just told Bella about it the other day, and I wanted to show it to her."

Esme smiles indulgently.

"I'll look for it." She hugs me and kisses my cheek, then laughs.

"What?"

"You have three little braids in your hair, Edward." She chuckles and kisses me again. "Drive safely, dear."

Bella puts her hand on my thigh once we're in the Volvo.

"You're tired, baby," she says. "Do you have to work tomorrow?"

"I have to go in for a few hours in the afternoon," I say, covering her hand with mine. "But Saturday and Sunday, I'm all yours."

"Mmm, I love the sound of that." She strokes my thumb, and I yawn.

"Sorry…"

"You know what? Once we're home, I'll give you a massage. What do you say?"

"That would be heaven," I reply.

My phone beeps with an incoming message.

"Oh, fuck," I mutter. "Can you get it out and read it for me, love? It's in my right pocket."

Bella fumbles through my pocket and digs out my cell.

"_Edward,__just__to__let__you__know,__" _she reads_.__ "__Angela__just__had__a__healthy__boy.__We__'__re__overjoyed.__Ben.__"_

I gasp. "Wow, that's great."

I turn into our street.

"Yes," Bella says, and I can hear the smile in her voice. "Is she at Lenox Hill?"

"Uh-huh," I reply. "I suppose Victoria delivered the baby."

"Oh."

"If you want, and if Ang is up to it, you might come over when I finish tomorrow, and we could visit. What do you think?"

"I'd love that."

Watching Bella the next afternoon as she shyly, carefully touches the tiny infant's cheek while it sleeps peacefully in Angela's arms, moves me to the core.

I can't wait for that to be us.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading. I hope the outcome was worth the wait, LOL. **

**So if you liked it, why not let me know through a review? Because, seriously, each and every one makes me very happy.**

**Next chapter will be up in about a week.**

**xoxo**

**harperpitt**


	9. Pick Me Up and Lay Me Down

**A/N:**

**Thank you from the deepest depths of my twisted mind to my wonderful beta, dellaterra.**

**Any remaining typo, grammatical or other errors belong to me.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 9: **Pick****Me****Up****and****Lay****Me****Down**

**BELLA**

December will be tough. Our opening night is scheduled for the 29th. Already, everyone is working through their exhaustion, and things go wrong every day.

Parts of the scenery collapsed overnight and had to be rebuilt in two long night shifts. The device that is supposed to lift me up in the air so I'll be flying across the stage isn't working, and we spent a whole day trying to make it happen with Alec and the technician. I was fit to be buried by the end of that day. Singing with a full orchestra is splendid, but it's also something I haven't done before, and it does take some getting used to. At least the dancing is going well now – as I can tell from Jane's death glare during rehearsals.

Last night I came in on her singing one of Kate's big songs, "Now, If You Love Me, Stay," and I have to admit that it gave me some satisfaction to hear her not getting it right. She finished and saw me, gave me the stink eye, but never said anything.

"Again," Cornelius calls from the auditorium, and the orchestra starts for the fourth time so Felix and I can do a certain tricky passage. I've grown to like Felix. I suspect a budding romance between him and Jane, and it's quite sweet to see him excited and happy whenever they speak. He reminds me of Emmett in more ways than just his stature and strong build. He also has a cute sense of humor and a relaxed way of handling things. We went out after a rehearsal last week, and I laughed so much at his jokes that I almost slipped off a barstool. When Felix reached out to steady me, Jane noticed, of course, and had a possessive look as she sashayed over to us to stake her claim. I left shortly after that, not without mentioning that I needed to get home to my husband.

This time, the dance works and so does the little duet that follows. Cornelius is satisfied with our work and sends us home, telling us to get some rest before the run-through the next day. I say good-bye to everyone and walk back to the changing room, where I blow my nose. I have been plagued by this nasty cold for days. Edward has been giving me some light painkillers and vitamins and made chicken soup last night, sternly advising me to follow Dr. Edward's orders.

It's icy as I make my way to the subway, and I shudder as the biting wind creeps beneath my coat. The streets are crowded with tourists and Christmas shoppers. I don't even know when I'm supposed to buy any gifts. I guess I'll have to do a lot of online shopping this year.

The subway is ridiculously crammed, and I am stuck between a toothless man who is talking to himself, or maybe all of us, about Prohibition, and a teenaged girl babbling into her cell phone about her boy trouble. I close my eyes for a second, but it just makes the throbbing in my head more excruciating.

By the time I get home, it has started to snow once more, thick white flakes that float down silently. It's beautiful, but I'm not able to enjoy it; I'm just too cold and exhausted. My heart lurches happily when I open the front door because the lights are on and Edward's coat is in the closet. After this day, I want nothing more than to be cuddled up in the security of his arms. I try to ignore the headache that has been growing stronger over the past hour.

"Hey, darling," I call out, walking into the kitchen. Edward isn't there. "Edward?" I peek into the dining room, which is also dark.

"I'm in here, love," he calls softly from the living room, which is connected to the dining room through two large glass doors.

I sneeze.

"Hey." Edward looks up from his spot on the sofa. He's working on his laptop.

I sneeze again.

"Oh God, baby." He gets up and crosses the distance between us. "Are you okay?" He pulls me into his arms.

"I think I caught something." I lay my head against his chest, relaxing.

"Poor little lamb." He kisses the top of my head. "I'll draw you a bath and get you an aspirin, okay?"

We have dinner in bed, me in a fluffy bathrobe and Edward in his pajamas. He ordered Chinese, insisting that a hot and spicy soup would do me good. We talk about our respective days, I sneeze and blow my nose, and by the time the opening credits of _Mad__Men_ are on, my eyes are drooping.

The next morning, my headache is killing me. My throat hurts so badly that I can hardly swallow, and I'm really, really hot. Edward shines his little light into my throat, takes one look at my swollen tonsils, and tells me that I have tonsillitis.

"You can't go to work like that." He gently strokes my hair.

"No," I groan, and my voice sounds terrible. "But I need to… We've only…" I cough, which hurts.

Edward, who is sitting on the side of the bed, takes off his gloves and hands me two pills and a glass of water. Swallowing them makes me flinch with pain.

"I'll have Ben give you a prescription for antibiotics," he says, running his knuckles over my cheek. "I need to go now, but I'll be back during my lunch break, okay?"

"No… not okay… I need to…" I sneeze.

"Bella. If we don't treat this, it'll get worse and you won't be able to work at all. This way, you'll be staying in bed for a week and –"

"A _week_?" I croak.

"Maybe five days. Please. Go back to sleep. I'll give Cornelius a call."

I try to protest further, but everything hurts and I'm a little dizzy too. If I'm honest, I know there's no way I'm going to be able to rehearse like this, so I sink back into the pillows and close my eyes.

"Can you open your mouth, love?"

I do, and Edward slides a thermometer under my tongue.

"I'll be back in a second," he says, and I hear him walk to the bathroom. He returns a moment later, just as the thermometer beeps. "Hmm, 102.6," he says. "I thought as much." He kisses my hand. "I put some spray for your throat and more painkillers on the nightstand. But sleep will help you most. Call me if anything's wrong, okay?"

"Yeah…" I whisper. I'm already drowsing off.

Soft lips on my brow.

"I love you," he murmurs.

=====oOo=====

The next three days, I drift in and out of sleep, feeling utterly miserable. Edward brings me antibiotics and lots of tea and lozenges and he insists I have some soup and drink lots of water, but mostly, I just sleep. He's sweet and caring, never complaining about my grouchiness, cleaning away the heaps of Kleenex and the teacups and wrappers that litter the bedroom.

On the fourth day, my fever has dropped to 99.1, and I feel much better. I allow Cedric back into the bedroom, but he tortures me by showing off his self-taught trick of opening the bedside drawers, so I frequently throw him out.

My voice has returned and I am able to talk to Cornelius on the phone. He tells me that they're working on the scenes I'm not in, and they're waiting for me to come back. I'm embarrassed about holding up the rehearsal process, and promise to be back during the next few days.

That afternoon, Seth visits me, bringing magazines and candy.

"Bells, oh babe, you look…" He shakes his head.

"Thanks," I mutter. "I know I look like crap, but I'm actually just glad that I'm able to swallow again."

Seth's eyes widen. Knowing his dirty mind, there's no need for him to elaborate any further, so I just pout.

"Hardy har har."

"Sorry, Bells. You look fabulous, if a bit palish."

I sigh and blow my nose.

"I'll just be glad when I can get back to work. I feel rotten having them all wait for me. It's like I'm failing Cornelius for the second time."

"It's not your fault that you're sick," Seth argues.

"Nobody cares whose fault it is. You know this business."

"I do." Seth rolls his eyes. "Maybe you should just drop out," he jokes. "Leave it all behind. You'll have to, anyway, once Edward's knocks you up." He wriggles his eyebrows, and I slap his thigh.

"_Excuse_me? He's not going to 'knock me up,' and anyway, it won't happen for another seven or eight months. If then."

"What do you mean, honeybunny? I thought that's what you wanted?"

I'm glad that Seth and I know each other so well. His black eyes convey so much he doesn't have to vocalize it. He'll always be there for me, and will always be on my side.

"I do," I say. "Absolutely. I've made my decision. It's what I want. Just not now, you know? I think I need a little time to prepare. Anyway, most couples don't get pregnant right away…"

"Any problems in that department on Edward's side?"

"What? _No_! Seth, you're just… Ugh." I fall back against the pillows. "Can we please change the subject?"

"Yes. It is a complete pain in the ass to organize a wedding. I know it's more than six months away, but can you imagine how many tiny details you have to decide on?"

"That's why we kept it small," I smile. "So, have you picked a location yet?"

"I think we'll go for a hotel, though I love the idea of doing the ceremony, or the reception, or both, at a park or a garden."

"The Woodland Park Rose Garden!"

Seth smiles. "Yeah, I've been thinking about that too. We just need to have an alternate site in case it rains."

"Pfft. It never rains in Seattle!"

We both laugh and chat for another hour before I yawn and Seth leaves, promising to call the next day.

I'm woken by Edward's lips on my cheek.

"Hey. You look much better."

"Hey," I murmur and open my eyes. "Wow! What's…"

Edward is holding the most exquisite bouquet of wild flowers, all beautiful pinks and purples, blues and creamy whites.

"These are amazing… Thank you. You're crazy, bringing me flowers every day."

"I love you," he murmurs against my cheek.

I want nothing more than to celebrate my newfound health by making out with my husband, but I actually feel sweaty and sticky, so I wriggle out of his arms.

"I need to take a shower…"

"Okay." Edward gently slaps my butt as I make my way to the bathroom. "I'll be in the kitchen," he calls after me.

We have a delicious dinner of chicken and rice with salad, crashing on the couch afterward. Cedric joins us, and I cuddle into Edward's chest, feeling warm and full and happy.

We watch an old episode of _Cheers_and I tell Edward about my conversation with Cornelius.

"Do you think it would be okay if I went back tomorrow?"

I can feel him become tense. I anticipated as much.

"Bella, I understand that you want to return to work, but –"

"Okay," I say, kissing his neck, wrapping my arms around him.

"_Okay_?"

"Wednesday, then?" I kiss his throat.

"Thursday?"

"Wednesday?" I bite his earlobe.

"Okay," he sighs. "It's a compromise."

Everyone greets me warmly when I return on Wednesday. Well, everyone but Jane. I suppose she was hoping I'd be sick indefinitely so she could have my part. I'm still a little groggy, but I manage okay, and the relief at being able to partake again overrules any little aches or pains I might feel.

At home, Edward continues to pamper me whenever he's home. He has this natural caring instinct, or something, which isn't surprising, and is probably one of the reasons he became a doctor in the first place, but sometimes, it also makes me think that he will be a great father. And that thought sometimes leads me to question whether I would be a great mother…

That weekend, I feel well enough to accompany Edward to the hospital's annual Christmas party. I'm not exactly eager to go; that sort of party has never been my thing, and I still tend to feel ill at ease among Edward's colleagues. But I know it's important to him, so we're going. I put on a long, flowing dress made of grey silk and chiffon. It shows off my cleavage and shoulders, and I know Edward loves to see me in it.

He, of course, looks breathtaking in a grey suit, and, because he loves to color-coordinate, a slim grey tie and black shoes. He has an easy smile on his face as he talks to his boss, while I am chatting with Heidi, Demetri's wife. She tells me about her new granddaughter, showing me pictures of the baby on her phone, and I coo and squeal accordingly, but also because the baby is actually pretty darn cute.

Everyone is drinking champagne, which makes me a little jealous. I have to stick to water, because I'm still taking antibiotics. I love the way Edward always makes contact with me in situations as this, knowing that I don't feel very relaxed. He touches my hand, or my elbow, spreads his palm on the small of my back, or just smiles at me with eyes telling me loves me.

Our little group is joined by James and Victoria. I still don't like her very much, but I know it's bitchy, so I make an effort to be friendly. James is okay, if a little drab, but Victoria… I don't know. Something about her strikes me as phony, but I can't put my finger on it. We make small talk about work at the hospital and buying Christmas presents and how insane it is this year. Heidi rambles on about finding suitable gifts for everyone, and I nod politely, watching Victoria surreptitiously from the corner of my eye. She looks lovely, her red curly hair flowing around her shoulders, her perfect figure accentuated by her green dress.

"Edward," she chirps at one point, putting her hand on his forearm. "Have you told Bella about the educational course we'll be attending in Boston?"

_Come again?_

"It hasn't been confirmed, Victoria," Edward says, smiling indulgently. He looks at me and slides one arm around my waist. I guess he can see that I am not pleased at all.

"We're talking about March here," he explains. "It's a thing about cardiac diseases in expectant mothers. But it's not certain that the conference is going to happen at all."

"Oh, I'm sure it will," Victoria smiles.

"How fascinating," I say and, wanting to change the subject but also wanting to show Victoria I don't care what she has to say, I turn to her husband. "James, how's work for you? You're at Mount Sinai, if I remember correctly?"

For some reason, I can sense that Victoria doesn't like the change in conversation, and that pleases me wickedly, so I make a point of asking James a lot of questions, which he answers diligently. I wasn't wrong; he is a bit drab.

Edward and Victoria are deep in conversation all the while, and if I didn't know better, I'd say she was flirting with him. But she isn't; it's something else. It's more like she's sucking up to him because of his position, but that doesn't make any sense either.

It's Edward who shakes me out of my musings, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"I'm hungry. Are you hungry too?" His eyes are amused, and maybe slightly irritated. "Are you coming to get something from the buffet with me?"

"Yes, of course."

We make our excuses and leave the little group, crossing the richly decorated ballroom to the lavish buffet tables. The band is playing "Jingle Bell Rock," and people are dancing and laughing, some of them wearing Santa hats or reindeer horns. I suddenly feel like the Grinch.

"What's going on, love?" Edward asks softly while we're waiting for our freshly grilled shrimp, which are being prepared by a young cook in a black uniform.

"What do you mean? Nothing."

Edward looks unconvinced and lifts an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Was it that remark about the course in Boston? As I said, that's months ahead, and I'm not even sure…"

"I was just wondering why you wouldn't tell me about something like that."

"Because I don't even know if it's going to happen," Edward says, exasperation in his voice. "And if it happens, I don't think I'll be going. This was just… I don't know, Victoria's way of claiming attention."

I huff, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"This isn't about the course, is it?"

Edward looks at me, and I try to smile and lie about it, but I can't do that.

"Fine. I don't like her," I blurt, instantly biting my lip.

"Who? Victoria?"

"Yes, of course, Victoria."

I take my plate, thank the cook and, feeling like a stubborn child, make my way ahead of Edward to one of the tables.

"Why?" he asks once he sits down next to me.

"I don't know. Never mind. I don't have to like everybody, do I?"

"But she's a nice woman," Edward protests.

"Can we just forget about it?" I kiss his cheek. Edward looks at me, frowning slightly, but lets it go for now.

Fortunately, neither of us is resentful by nature, so by the time we're home later that night, everything is okay between Edward and me.

Tomorrow is a Sunday, probably my last day off until Christmas, and Edward doesn't need to work either. In other words: heaven.

Sighing happily, I join him in bed, and Edward pulls me close and buries his face in my hair.

"Mmm.. You smell so good…"

"So do you," I whisper, moving closer to him so I can kiss his neck and throat.

We haven't had sex in ten days, first because I was sick and then because we both fell into bed and conked out from exhaustion at night.

Edward's scent, the feel of his skin, his body, arouses me immediately, and I can tell that it's the same for him.

Running my hand over his bare chest, I nibble at his ear.

"Edward…"

"Yes…"

I can feel his heartbeat increase and he sighs when I suck his earlobe into my mouth. I lightly scratch my fingers down his chest, over the smattering of hair, over his ribcage, stopping by his bellybutton, following the happy trail that leads me directly to my happy place.

Seconds later, Edward has pulled me on top of him so I'm straddling his legs and we're kissing feverishly, as if it had been ten weeks instead of ten days. His hands impatiently roam my body, brushing up my nightdress and squeezing my buttocks while his warm breath tickles my skin.

"Oh my beautiful Isabella…" He pushes the silk of my nightdress to the side so he can kiss my nipple.

"Ed… ward…" I moan.

He whispers hotly against my skin, but I don't understand everything, since Edward is very preoccupied with my breast.

Kissing and touching all the time, we make quick work of each other's clothes, and Edward's lips do the most delicious things to me. He's straining against my belly, hard and ready, and I take him in my hand. How I love the feel of him, so big, and all mine…

"Bella," he murmurs between kisses, "My beautiful Isabella…"

We're breathing heavily, tasting and smelling each other, and I'm moving so he can –

"Fuck!" Edward pants against my breast.

"What?"

"Condom… We need a condom… The antibiotics…"

We part and, like actors in a romantic comedy, dig into our individual nightstands in a frenzy.

"Okay," Edward announces, and I can hear the foil tearing. "We need to stock up on these bastards."

A second later, he pulls me back on top of him and we both groan when I lower myself on him. It's the best feeling in the world. He fills me and makes me complete.

I wrap my arms around Edward's neck and he has his hand on my hips, moving me up and down while our mouths connect in one desperate, long kiss. We're making love, but it's also urgent, hot fucking, our moans and grunts lingering in the air. Our moves soon become more rapid, and I tremble when Edward applies exactly the right amount of pressure to my clit. I reach behind me and lightly massage his balls.

Seconds later, we're a sweaty, convulsing mess, shuddering and clinging to each other.

"Ahh…" Panting, Edward falls back against the headboard and I crash on top of him, my heart only gradually slowing down. I flinch when he pulls out of me to get rid of the condom.

"My, my." Edward kisses my sweaty brow. "I missed you." He puts his arms around me and I rest my head on his shoulder. He kisses my temple. "I love you," he murmurs. "I love you so much."

"And I love you," I reply, regaining my breath. I kiss the side of his neck, inhaling the scent of his skin – honey and vanilla, musky sweat, and Edward. I make little patterns on his chest with my fingertip.

"Are we good?" he suddenly, softly, asks.

"What do you mean?"

I draw a heart on his chest, right over where his heart is.

"About earlier. I'm sorry Victoria said that. The way she said it. I would have told you, but like I said, I'm not even sure it's happening."

"It's okay," I tell him, and we look at each other.

Edward's eyes are nothing but sincere, shimmering in the golden light from the bedside lamp. His long lashes create shadows on his cheekbones, his full lips are swollen from kissing, and his hair points every which way.

"Don't worry," I whisper. "I was just surprised."

"She's a nice woman, and her therapeutic methods are really quite progressive," Edward says, but I don't want to talk about Victoria anymore.

I kiss Edward and nuzzle his ear with my nose, and he understands, putting his hands on my butt as we relax into each other.

We fall asleep the way we always do, with Edward's chest pressing against my back, his arm slung around me. Never, ever have I felt more secure, or better taken care of.

I wake once during the night, feeling uneasy. I can't remember my dream, but there was this general theme of being threatened. Edward has turned onto his back and is breathing evenly, looking peaceful as he sleeps. I'm suddenly overcome by the irrational urge to protect him, even though I don't know what from. I snuggle up to him and twine my arms around him.

Edward sighs in his sleep and put a possessive hand on my breast, evoking a sleepy smile from me before I drift off again.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N: **

**Thank you to everyone who keeps reading.**

**This story means so much to me, and I'm extremely happy about each and every review. Please drop me one, it only takes a second.**

**Hugs and kisses,**

**harperpitt**


	10. The Klingkling Bird on the Dividivi Tree

**A/N:**

**Thank you to everyone who keeps reading and reviewing; your words mean so much to me.**

**Thank you to my wonderful beta dellaterra, who keeps encouraging me in so many ways. You're the best.**

**Any remaining errors or mistakes are mine.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 10: **The****Kling-Kling****Bird****on****the****Divi-Divi****Tree**

**EDWARD**

I generally love the Christmas season, but this year it's different. I'm up to my ears in work, and I need to admit to myself that the new position takes up much more time than I anticipated. I don't mean to complain; I love my new responsibility. It's just a bit more than I bargained for.

Demetri is very happy with me and the way I handle everything, and I believe that my coworkers are also on my side. Everyone welcomed the changes I instituted, and I continue to try to make everything more effective and less impersonal. I want the staff to be able to spend _more_ time with patients instead of _less,_ even if it almost seems to be impossible. Sometimes I feel that I'm drowning in paperwork, while the reason I became a doctor – interacting with people, helping them – often has to take a back seat.

With the opening night of her play less than a week away, Bella is rehearsing nonstop now, She's pale and looks tired, and she has become so thin. Bella, of course, says that I am overreacting, and that it's natural to lose a little weight when you have to dance all day.

Maybe it's just me, loving her curves so much.

As usual, I'm terribly behind with my Christmas shopping, and as usual, I was idiotic enough to choose today to do it, trying to make my way through the Christmas Eve crowd on Fifth Avenue.

Fantastic plan, I know.

The good thing, though, is that I already have Bella's gifts, so today is about finding things for the rest of my family. Mom and Ali are always the easiest to buy gifts for. Both are sweet-natured persons, and it isn't hard to find something that makes them smile genuinely. Although he may be all grown up and a lawyer, Emmett is a child at heart, happy if he receives the latest electronic toys to play with. Rose is almost too easy. I'll just ask Em which overpriced perfume or beauty product to give her, and she'll be happy. Jasper is a bit more difficult, but I rely on Ali's help to get him the right history books.

Carlisle?

A fucking nightmare.

The things that interest him are medicine and gardening, and I don't know what's new in that market to give him. So, just like every year, I pull out my phone with a sigh.

"Mom?"

"Edward, dear! How good to hear your voice! Are you okay? How is Bella?"

I smile. Sometimes it's really obvious where Alice got her exuberance.

I'm sitting in Bar 5F on the fifth floor of Bergdorf Goodman, drinking an espresso while waiting for my lobster salad wrap, a pile of shopping bags next to me.

We chat amiably, and after a few minutes, I pose my annual question.

"Mom, do you have any idea what I could get Dad?"

"Hmm. Tricky."

"Yeah." I finish my espresso and try to ignore the sudden yearning for a cigarette.

Mom and I discuss the subject for a few minutes before she cries, "Oh! I know! He mentioned this new book the other day, on neuro-something… It was by this author…. He's famous. What's his name again? Torman? Traval? Hmm… Oh, I know: Torval! Donald Torval!"

"Yes, I've heard of him. And it's a new book, you say? Are you sure Dad doesn't have it already?"

An hour later, I'm at the Strand bookstore, browsing through the medical section. I quickly find the book in question. In case Carlisle has it already, I bought him a cream-colored cardigan.

By the time I get home, it's after seven and snowing heavily. Bella left me a message that she'd probably be rehearsing until eight or nine, so I don't think she'll be here before ten. I eat a sandwich and salad, sitting in the kitchen and listening to WQXR, my favorite classical-music station. Cedric munches on his own dinner, and every twenty minutes, the radio blares with an ad for the New Year's Eve celebration in Times Square.

I don't actually know what I will be doing for New Year's, since Bella will be working until ten-thirty, but one thing's for sure: We will not spend it in Times Square.

Cedric follows me when I walk into the living room with my glass of Merlot. Our Christmas tree, which was delivered this morning, is standing between the piano and the French doors that lead out to the terrace. It's naked and bare, and my heart sinks a little when I realize that I will have to decorate it alone. It's our third Christmas, and the previous two years we decorated the tree together, listening to Christmas carols and drinking eggnog.

I already put the box of ornaments next to the tree, but for a moment, I think that it was silly to even buy one. We'll be with my family tomorrow, and the day after that Bella is back to rehearsing, her play premièring three days later.

"Well, Cedric, buddy, looks like it's just us bachelors," I say, opening the box. I fully expect the cat to dive right in, but he's not around. I guess he's in the bedroom, clearing my drawer of its contents.

While I'm untangling the lights, cursing them as I do so, my cell beeps with an incoming message.

"_Darling, I love you & miss you. Wish I could be with you now. We'll need another couple of hours. Pease tell me you'll be awake when I get home. Need you my love, B."_

I swallow.

Two years ago, in exactly the same spot I'm standing, I proposed to Bella. So much has happened since then. I'm happy and grateful that she has a thriving career… Still, I'd love to be holding her in my arms right now.

I type in my reply.

"_I love you and miss you and I WILL be awake. EVERY part of me, be sure of it, little lamb. I kiss you. E."_

I put on the kitschiest Christmas mix CD I can find, get myself another glass of wine and open the box of ornaments. My sister calls while I am decorating the tree and we chat for a little while. For a second, I'm surprised, because normally, Christmas Eve is sacred for Alice, and she spends it with Jasper, decorating their own tree. I eat about five of the chocolate ornaments and finish my second glass of Merlot. By the time Alice and I end the call, the tree is complete, and I feel a bit sleepy, so I lay down on the sofa for a minute, the lyrics of "I Want a New Baby for Christmas"making me grin at the stupidity of the song.

"Edward?"

Mmm… Soft lips on mine…

"Hey, baby…"

Mmm…. Hands…

Hair, tickling my neck… Her glorious scent – clean, girly, sexy…

Sweet, sweet lips.

"Edward," she whispers.

Blinking, I open my eyes, feeling disoriented for a second. Bella is sitting by my side, stroking my hair. I rub my eyes.

"Hi," she smiles. She's so beautiful. She looks like an angel. Her eyes are dark and loving and luminous.

"Hi," I murmur sleepily. I move so I can put my head in her lap. She continues to stroke my hair.

"What's the time?" I mumble.

"Shortly after ten."

"Oh. I must've been asleep for an hour…"

"The tree looks lovely."

Her nimble fingers massage my scalp as I stare up into her beautiful face. For a few minutes, we're silent, just looking at each other, and it's perfect. A flow of warm love, of trust and devotion is coursing between us.

"Do you know what day this is?" I ask, sitting up slowly and pulling her into my arms.

"Yes. Two years ago you asked me to marry you."

She gently caresses my ear.

"It's also our seven-month-and-two-days wedding anniversary," I murmur against her fingers.

"I know." I can feel her smile. "Always an important day in young marriages."

"Tradition has it that the husband gets to make love to his wife all night on that day."

"Is that so?" Bella chuckles, catching her breath.

"Did you eat?" I kiss her fingers.

"Yeah, I got a pasta salad from the deli during a break."

"How was it?"

"Okay. I'll be glad when this show is on the road though."

"I can't wait to see you in it." I press my face into her neck. "I missed you when I was decorating the tree."

"I'm sorry." She kisses my ear, and my neck, and soon, our lips merge into a soft dance.

A little later, I get a glass of wine for Bella, and another one for me. We cuddle into each other on the sofa and watch _The__Muppet__Christmas__Carol_.

I haven't seen it before, but Bella sings along with the songs, imitating Kermit and Gonzo. She's the cutest thing ever, sitting there in her red flannel pajamas that have white stars on them, singing, "This is the season to be jolly and joyous!"

She's sitting between my legs, my arms wrapped around her, my chin on her shoulder, our hands entwined. It has begun to snow again, and I kiss Bella's neck, thinking that life is pretty perfect right now.

When the movie finishes, I take our glasses to the kitchen and Bella turns off the lights before we walk upstairs, hand in hand. She shoos Cedric away from my nightstand, where he is busy fumbling with its contents.

We brush our teeth and I go to bed and open my book while Bella needs another moment to apply about four different moisturizers to various zones of her body. I only smear that stuff Alice gave me around my eyes every night, and I'm still getting wrinkles.

She smells wonderful when she joins me in bed, snuggling up to my side. I put my arm around her and kiss her temple.

"I'm so glad I have the day off tomorrow," she sighs blissfully.

"So am I, love. We'll do nothing but eat turkey and Christmas pudding and sugar cookies."

"I want eggnog as well."

"Sure," I smile, pressing my nose into her hair and inhaling its fresh, flowery scent.

"Mmm, and presents," she murmurs, stroking her hand up my bare torso.

"Yes," I sigh, enjoying the way her fingers fondle my belly.

I think of the gift she'll receive in the morning, knowing that she'll flip out. I can't wait.

Bella is peppering my jawline with kisses while her fingers follow the line of hair above the waistband of my pants.

I close my eyes.

"I love you," Bella whispers against my neck. "God, you can't imagine how much I love you…"

"I love you," I reply. "More than I've ever loved anyone…"

Our mouths meet in a long and passionate kiss that makes our breaths increase, and our hands begin to roam each other's bodies. Soft sighs and whispered terms of endearment fill the air, skin finding skin, heart beating against heart. Bella's body is my heaven.

I'm completely under her spell, losing myself in her milky white skin, her sweet smell, her husky voice, her softness.

Our lovemaking is slow and incredibly gentle, every touch and every breath a celebration of our love. We never stop looking at each other, and it seems that our souls connect as we become one.

Bella's legs are wrapped around my waist, her hands in my hair, her eyes huge and open, a small, enraptured smile on her lips as our movements speed up but never get frantic. It's a perfect, divine rhythm, and when we come together, clinging to each other, both of us moan, "I love you."

**BELLA**

"I love you," Edward moans softly, our eyes never losing contact, our lips an inch apart. I tremble with pleasure, whimpering as I'm overwhelmed by an earth-shattering orgasm that seems to last forever. Edward's beautiful face gets tense as I feel his release, his hot breath washing over me while my own body keeps shuddering.

"I love you," he pants.

Our mouths meet in a wet, sloppy kiss.

"I love you…"

"I love you…"

"I love you… oh… Edward…."

Slowly, so slowly, I calm down, and Edward kisses my lips, my cheeks, my nose.

I'm happy, I'm so happy. I'm at peace with the whole universe.

I giggle.

"Huh?" Edward kisses me.

"That was incredible…"

"Mmm…" He kisses me again, tenderly, then pulls out of me so he can get rid of the condom. We can stop using them in a couple of days, and that thought alone makes me very, very glad.

Edward kisses me again, looking fabulously spent, with mad sex hair and rosy cheeks. I don't know why, but I've never felt closer to him than I do right now. Edward turns onto his back, immediately pulling me close and I settle my head on his chest. I'm sleepy, and I'm happy.

"Merry Christmas," I murmur.

"Merry Christmas, my love." He kisses my brow.

I'm completely relaxed, Edward's warmth and strength surrounding me, his familiar scent making my blithe smile even bigger as I melt into happy dreams.

When I wake, it's to the smell of fresh coffee and pancakes. Slowly I open my eyes, yawning and stretching.

"Mmm," I sigh, spotting Edward as he sets down a tray. "Morning."

"Good morning, love." He kisses my forehead, and then slips into bed next to me. I reach out to ruffle his already-messy hair. Edward purrs like a kitten, and we smile at each other for a few moments before I make a short trip to the bathroom. When I return, having put on Edward's old Harvard tee, he has set up the breakfast tray and is pouring coffee.

"Wow," I say, kissing his cheek. "This looks amazing."

There are pancakes and bacon and scrambled eggs, toast, muffins, strawberries, and a huge chocolate Santa. I move closer to Edward and kiss his bare shoulder.

"Merry Christmas, darling."

He smiles. He looks delectable, his cheeks stubbly and his hair a wild mess. Edward's soft lips mold with mine

"Merry Christmas, my little lamb."

I love how he uses that silly term from some banter that took place years ago. He always does it with a hint of a smile, always reverently, and lovingly. He wouldn't do it if he thought of me as small and helpless. I think it's the contrary. But I still love the feeling of security in Edward's arms.

We tuck into our breakfast, chatting easily about the day that lies ahead. It has been snowing all night, and the railings on the bedroom terrace have about two inches of white fluff covering them.

"That is pretty," Edward says, pointing outside with his pinkie while he feeds me a piece of chocolate-chip muffin.

I don't let his finger escape, swiftly tickling it with my tongue. Edward's eyes grow imperceptibly darker, and his Adam's apple bobs up and down as he swallows. I suck a little for good measure until he pulls his finger away, replacing it with his lips. He tastes like coffee and chocolate, humming softly as he cradles my face in his hands.

It's the perfect Christmas morning.

We'll be visiting Edward's family for the traditional late lunch, so there's still time before we need to leave. We only get out of bed to retrieve each other's presents, and once we're ready, the whole bed is littered with gift-wrapped boxes and packages. Cedric joins us after his own Christmas breakfast of chicken with lots of gravy. He loves the gravy. Now he's very interested in the ribbons, and he has fun digging his little claws into the wrapping paper. He's getting a red snuggle sack and a little candy cane that's filled with catnip. When I tell him about it, he looks at me with big amber eyes before he continues to toy with our presents.

"You first," I say, handing Edward a small box.

"Absolutely not. You." He gives me a flat package, which feels like a book.

I slowly open it. It is a book, a frayed brown notebook, full of creases and wrinkles. It even smells old and dusty.

"What is it?"

"Open it." Edward watches me intently.

The first page of the book is filled with neat, spidery handwriting, and the second shows a sketch, but I can't quite make out what it's supposed to be.

"Hamlet," I read aloud. "A bloke who can't make up his mind."

Slowly, it dawns on me.

"No!"

Edward beams from ear to ear.

"No!" I squeal.

"There was an auction at Christie's," he shrugs. "I would have bought you his shirt, but that wasn't on sale." He smirks lopsidedly.

"Oh my God! This is real?"

"That's what the certificate says."

"This is _Laurence__Olivier__'__s__notebook_?"

Edward takes the book from my hands and leafs through it.

"Only the first two pages are written upon, but I thought you'd like it…"

"Like it? It's wonderful!" I throw my arms around Edward's neck and smother him with kisses. It may look like an old notebook, but to me, it's a treasure, and Edward knows it.

"Do you need to sell the apartment now?" I mumble against his lips, and Edward laughs.

"No." He kisses the side of my mouth. "To be perfectly honest, I expected it to be much more expensive." He ruffles the hair at the nape of my neck and nudges my nose with his.

"It's invaluable, Edward. Thank you." I kiss his stubbly cheek. "Thank you so much."

I then urge Edward to open his own gift, an antique specs case, which has him grinning like a kid. There are more presents; books and a pair of Manolos for me; a fountain pen and sheet music for Edward; plus DVDs, perfume and little trinkets. I also knitted Edward a sweater during breaks and waiting times during rehearsals. I'm not great at knitting, but the pullover has become rather nice, if I say so myself. I called Sue numerous times for help, which she happily gave, and the result is a cream-colored cable-knit sweater with a large shawl collar. Edward tries it on immediately, smiling and parading in front of me, making me laugh.

"You're looking gooood, mister," I giggle. "Especially the pajama and sweater combo. Sexy."

Edward throws himself on top of me, and we kiss and giggle until Cedric has had enough, leaving the bed with a loud and indignant meow while I wrap my legs around Edward's hips, the gifts momentarily forgotten.

"Mmm," he murmurs. "This sweater is really soft and warm…" He kisses me, his tongue stroking over my lower lip before he gently pulls at it. "But do you know what's also soft and warm?" His hand runs under the t-shirt I'm wearing, making a direct path to my breast.

"Well," I sigh, gasping slightly as he begins to play with my nipple. "I know what is definitely _not_ soft…" I tighten my legs around him, needing to feel his hardness press into me. Edward moans softly.

"You're a little vixen, do you know that?"

But he doesn't let me reply, his lips and tongue devouring me while my hands work on the removal of his pretty new sweater. Edward's body always excites me, and it does so now. I love to feel his weight on me, to let my fingers meander through his hair and to hear the sounds he makes as he moves inside me. Wrapping paper crinkles beneath us and ribbons stick to our sweaty skin while we find our fulfillment.

"There's something else," Edward whispers later as we lay with our naked bodies entwined.

He moves away and reaches under the bed, pulling me close again, his chest pressed against my back. He places a box in front of me. It looks a bit worn, and for a second I think it might be another antique. Edward kisses my neck. I gingerly lift the lid off the box. Inside is a tattered teddy bear in a red sweater.

"It's my old Pooh," Edward says. His voice is soft, and his breath is warm. "Or rather, Edward Bear."

"You named the bear after yourself?" I giggle.

"No. I completely forgot about it, but Mom reminded me. In the books, Winnie-the-Pooh is his nickname. His real name is Edward." Another sweet kiss on my neck. "So we have the books now, and the bear."

I turn around and kiss him, love welling up hotly inside my chest.

I think I need to get Esme a huge bouquet of flowers one these days, for raising this man.

=====oOo=====

Christmas lunch with the family is splendid as always. Everyone is in high spirits, relaxed and happy. We drink eggnog and sing _every_ verse of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" with Edward accompanying us on the piano.

Esme's cheeks glow with bliss at having her children and grandchildren surrounding her. Carlisle seems pretty laid-back as well, pouring out port and sherry, patting Dale's back while they discuss something to with medicine_._

Gifts are exchanged, and Lily claps her hands and jumps up and down when she sees what we are giving her – a racy sports car for her vampire Barbie and Ken dolls. Little Anna sits on my lap, and I must admit that I am much more relaxed around her than I used to be. She waves her pudgy little arms and keeps saying "Bedda, Bedda!" while she points at me. She also enjoys sucking on the sleeve of my dress, leaving it wet with baby drool.

I can feel Edward's eyes on us, and it's as if we are sharing this little secret. Small, intimate gestures connect us all the time and make my heart flutter. Edward's palm resting at the small of my back, my fingers brushing a strand of hair off his brow, his finger drawing small circles on my knee...

I notice how Alice looks at us a few times, and she smiles when she realizes that she's being watched. I know she is happy for her brother, and I want to get up and hug her.

I'm talking to Emmett when Esme joins us, sliding one arm around my waist, joining into our laughter about one of Em's asinine jokes.

"Bella," she says. "I can't wait to see you in the new play. Really, I'm excited!"

"Oh, I hope you'll like it. I love it, but all the dancing is almost driving me crazy," I laugh.

Emmett chuckles, his dimples making an appearance.

"I'm looking forward to it too, Bella. Will there be chorus lines with hot dames kicking their legs?"

At precisely that moment, Rose appears and gently slaps Emmett's arm.

"Just sayin'," he grins and kisses his wife, who wraps her arm around his neck.

_Wow, I hope Edward and I will be like that twenty years from now, with three kids and…_

"Did Edward give you Edward Bear?" Esme smiles, while Rose and Emmett have their moment.

"He did," I sigh. "and it's so cute." I wish I could tell Esme the real reason behind the gift, but I know this would be really premature.

Instead, I kiss Esme's cheek.

"Thank you," I whisper.

Later, when everyone is relaxing in the living room, lazy and full, sipping Emmett's lethal Christmas punch, Alice plops down on the sofa next to me.

"Ugh," she sighs. "I'm never going to eat anything again."

"It was so good though."

I lean back and watch Edward, sitting on the floor and looking sexy as hell in his new sweater as he plays with Lily and her new Barbie car.

Alice is looking at me again when I turn back to her. She has this glint in her eyes that she gets now and then.

"What?" I smile.

"You look beautiful, Bella. Different."

"What do you mean?" I say, feeling a little self-conscious. "I know I lost a few pounds. Edward won't stop harping on it, but –"

"That's not what I mean," Alice says serenely. "You _sparkle,_ Bella."

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading and please leave a review if you liked it. Reviews are for me what honey is for Edward Bear, and I always love to hear your thoughts!**

**Pics for Edward bear and the sweater Bella knitted are on my profile page.**

**See you next week!**

**xoxo**

**hp**


	11. Another Op'nin', Another Show

**A/N:**

**Hello dear readers. Here comes an early update!**

**Thank you to the incomparable dellaterra, the best beta I could wish for!**

**Any remaining errors and mistakes belong to me.**

**Twilight does not.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 11: **Another****Op****'****nin****'****,****Another****Show**

**BELLA**

Oh, I love opening nights. Everyone is excited and jittery with nerves, and there's that sense of camaraderie among the actors. Everybody is going to give his or her best, and tonight, all energies are channeled toward that goal. Even Jane and I have been almost friendly today. She has a part in the chorus until, or if, she's needed in her function as my understudy. I think I can actually feel her eyes burning into my back when we do our warm-up.

Alec's voice resounds through the rehearsal room as he gives his commands. I'm a bit on autopilot, watching myself in the floor-to-ceiling-mirror. When we're through, Felix and I dance a few of the more complicated parts. We sing to warm up our voices, and Rachelle accompanies us on the piano. By the time I'm sitting in the makeup chair, I'm almost calm, looking forward to the show.

I know I will be getting horribly nervous about twenty minutes before I'll go on stage, but I can deal with it. It's nervousness, not fear, which is a big difference.

Niall, our makeup artist, puts my hair into a lavish do, using curlers and dozens of pins until it surrounds my face like a dark halo. He sticks false lashes to my eyelids and makes my eyes look larger than ever.

I look at myself in the mirror once I'm in my silvery flapper dress, complete with a long string of pearls, and I must say that I like what I see. It's a thing I have. I look at myself in the mirror before a show, because with my makeup and costume, I am this other person, and it always helps me to have the visual confirmation.

Everyone assembles backstage right before the show, and Cornelius gives a little speech.

"Every single one of you can be so proud of him- or herself. What we've achieved here is very special to my heart. No matter how our work is received, I want you to know that _My__Bonny__Kate_ has become everything I ever wanted it to be. Thank you for that. Now go on the stage and rock the house, boys and girls."

He gives me an extra-long hug afterward.

"You're marvelous, Bella. Have fun, sweetheart."

From the corner of my eye, I can see Jane giving us a strange look. I'm not going to allow her to influence my performance with her pettiness, so I walk up to her.

"Jane." I smile. "Break a leg, and have fun tonight."

"Yeah, you too." She smiles back at me, cold eyes looking through mine.

All of that is forgotten once I'm standing in the wings. It's warm and dusty, and I can hear the audience filling the theater. Standing next to me, Felix gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"This will be fun," he whispers.

Silently, we listen to the rustle of programs and the chatter from the audience until the lights dim and the brief overture begins. Felix enters the stage shortly after and I'm left waiting alone. I have my standard equipment of Evian and throat lozenges with me. As always before an opening night, my throat feels dry and scratchy. My heart is beating nervously and my hands are sweaty.

On stage, the first song, "I'll See My Friends in Padua" ends and Felix receives enthusiastic applause.

And then, so soon, there's my cue, and I step into the bright lights. My nervousness passes after the first few lines, and I get the impression that the audience is a well-meaning one: They want to enjoy themselves, and it's relatively easy to make them laugh. This, of course, spurs the actors on, and in turn, the audience laughs even more.

Right before my first song I get terribly nervous again, almost fucking up one of my lines, but Felix helps me and when I launch into "Best Beware My Sting," I'm good.

And I _am_good. I can feel the audience respond, and it's like a positive energy coming up in waves from the auditorium. It's fantastic. That's why I love my work. I am this other person, Kate, and I'm sassy and cheeky, whirling across the stage.

There's mind-blowing applause when I finish the song, making my insides warm and fuzzy.

In no time at all, the first half of the play is over. The intermission passes quickly; I need to change my dress and Niall re-does my hair. Backstage, all the actors are chatting excitedly.

As usual, people are even more responsive after the break, having had a drink. It's pure joy. I'm relaxed, the dances go well; even the dreaded lifting figure works fine.

All too soon, it's over, and we take our curtain calls. The applause won't stop, people are standing up and Tia hands out enormous flower bouquets to the actors and Cornelius.

**EDWARD**

There will be a party after the show in the foyer of the New Theater, so when the last curtain has dropped, we go upstairs to the plush little bar which now is crammed with people. Everyone is full of praise for Bella and the whole production. Alice's eyes are shining as she repeats her favourite details to Mom and Jasper. Rose, looking stunning in a red dress, grabs my arm.

"This," she says in a serious tone, "was brilliant. Bella was brilliant."

"Well yes," I beam at my sister.

"I didn't know she could sing so well. And… and _dance_!"

I'm a little perplexed at Rose's reaction. "Er, yes," I say, "I mean, it's her profession. She has a degree."

"I always wanted to be able to sing and dance," Rose says dreamily. "Do you remember when I came home crying because I only got to play a flower in my ballet school's play?"

Seth, who has been listening, giggles.

"No," I say. "I can't remember."

"I guess you were too little. Anyway, Bella is fantastic."

She smiles, and I kiss my sister's cheek, appreciating just how much it means to hear her sing Bella's praises.

Carlisle and Emmett come with drinks and everyone chats happily while we're waiting for the star of the evening to join us. Laurent arrives, looking his usual flamboyant self in a burgundy suit, a ruffled shirt, white cowboy boots and a large Rolex.

"Well, well, well," he greets us. "The whole family's assembled to celebrate our girl's success! Good, to see you, Esme!" He kisses her cheeks, making flattering remarks, repeating the whole procedure with Alice and Rose. He doesn't kiss Carlisle and my brothers-in-law, but still showers them with compliments as well. It only gets worse – or better, depending how you look at it – when it comes to me.

"Edward, dearest boy. You look _dashing_ as always! Still no desire to follow your darling wife into those bright lights?" He smiles, showing his brilliant veneers.

I'm rather glad when Seth and Collin join us, and the three of them can bitch and enthuse about the play and the chorus boys.

Taking a large sip of my gin and tonic, I relax for the first time tonight. I'm always nervous for Bella, silly as that may be. She was amazing. I've never seen her so versatile, sizzling with wit and fire.

"Edward! Yoo-hoo!"

I turn to the right and, emerging from the throng of people, there are Victoria and James. The first thing I notice about her is the very, very low-cut silver dress she's wearing. She looks rather like Jennifer Lopez about to receive a Grammy than someone attending an opening night of a play. Her lips are scarlet and her hair flows around her shoulders in red waves.

"Edward! HI!"

"Victoria, James. Hello. What a surprise. I wasn't aware that you were coming."

"We weren't at first, but we got two tickets at the last minute. Bella was remarkable. It must be so difficult, remembering those tons of text."

Emmett guffaws, but covers up at once and pretends to be suffering a coughing attack.

Only now do I realize that almost our whole group is watching – excepting Collin, Seth and Laurent, who are laughing like hyenas.

I introduce James and Victoria to everyone. Hands are shaken, and once Carlisle hears that Victoria works with me and that James, like me, is a cardiologist, he's happily chatting away with them.

Which is lucky really, because at the other end of the room, there's applause. Not the frenetic storm that happened right after the performance, but very warm and respectful clapping. Bella and her co-star Felix have entered the foyer, both of them looking completely overwhelmed, smiling and thanking people. Felix gets detoured by his own group, while I see Bella's eyes searching for us. As soon as she sees me, we're like magnets, and she crosses the room as if there were no one but me.

She looks stunning, an apparition of silky hair, boobs, legs and heels. She's wearing a tiny strapless dress I've never seen before.

_I__'__d__remember__almost__coming__from__the__sight__of__a__dress,__I__think.__My__wife__in__said__dress,__I__mean_.

"Darling."

She curls her arms around my neck and kisses me thoroughly, not caring that we're surrounded by people. She tastes like cinnamon and sugar, her curves feeling illegally good under my hands, and I have to restrain myself from letting them wander.

"Baby," I mumble against her soft lips. "You need to… say hello to everybody."

"I know." She smiles like a mischievous little angel.

"You were incredible," I murmur. "So good. So beautiful. God, I want to ravish you right now…"

We kiss once more before we let go of each other. I make a point of standing behind Bella for a few minutes. She won't be surprised if my erection pokes her back – after all, she knows that I'm a lecherous pig. I wouldn't want to draw my family's attention to the fact though.

Everyone toasts her, compliments flying though the air. Bella is still on a high, grinning like the Cheshire cat. The party gets going, and a caterer has set up a buffet with lovely-smelling Thai food. People start to mingle, and Cole Porter tunes fill the air.

I don't get to see much of Bella for the next couple of hours because everyone wants to tell her she was great. Chatting with Seth and Cornelius, I watch her surreptitiously as she accepts people's compliments, talking and laughing, shining with happiness.

I often used to think that being proud of someone else was a rather condescending emotion, as if you were feeling you're responsible for someone else's achievements. Whenever Carlisle told me he was proud of me, it felt that way. As if he meant that I reached some goal or gained some title because of him, his genes or something, because being part of this family made me special and I wouldn't have gotten so far on my own, being just Edward.

Now, I experience a different sort of pride. I'm proud of Bella, my heart swelling with it, because I can't believe that this creature wants _me_, because I love her so deeply and she has achieved so much tonight and I am so, so unspeakably happy for her. No one deserves more to be happy and successful than my Bella.

Everyone is in high spirits as I take a look around me. Mom and Dad left sometime before midnight, but the rest of the gang is still here. Alice is talking to Victoria, Emmett and Rose are making lovey-dovey eyes at each other and Seth, Collin and Jasper are discussing God knows what. Bella is in a conversation with Cornelius and Felix. She introduced us earlier, and I found him to be a nice, relaxed guy. A young, blonde woman is with them, and it's obvious from her body language and behavior that she's after Felix. He, on the other hand, seems undecided.

I make my way over to them and stand behind Bella, resting my hands on her hips.

"Hey, beautiful," I whisper in her ear.

She turns her head, smiling and pecking my lips with hers. She's positively sparkling tonight.

"Hey."

"Are you good?"

"Yes," she replies. "Everyone is being so nice." She bites her lip. "I'm really hungry though. I didn't get to eat anything yet." She blinks her eyes, suddenly looking tired.

"Okay, ladies and gentlemen," I address the group, firmly taking Bella's hand in mine. "You'll have to excuse this young lady now because I am escorting her to the buffet." I say it very seriously, as if I were announcing the arrival of one of the crowned heads of Europe, and everyone chuckles.

Five minutes later, Bella and I are in a quiet corner and I am feeding her spicy orange duck from the huge plate I assembled for her.

"Mmm…" She closes her eyes. "So good."

I quickly kiss her.

"Yes, I agree."

Bella giggles. She's a bit tipsy, which is always adorable.

"Nom nom nom, " I say as I direct another bite at her mouth as if she was a toddler.

She chews and sighs happily.

Here eyes are so large. I love that I can detect most every expression they have, but still, I will never figure her out completely. She's too multi-layered, too complex, both as an actress and a human being.

"Edward?" She swallows a bite of broccoli.

"Yes, my love?"

"Did you really like it?"

"Did I –"

Taking her hands, I look at Bella.

"You were extraordinary, Isabella Swan. I will praise you all night long." I kiss her, our lips melting. "You are a wonderful actress, baby, and what you achieved here… I have no words. You were so, so good, and I cannot even begin to imagine how you did this. You took my breath away. You dazzled me. You made me swoon. You –"

"Stop, stop!" she laughs. "That wasn't what I wanted to hear! I was just, you know, feeling unsure…"

"No need to," I say. "And I am abso-fucking-lutely sure that the critics will share my opinion."

"I love you," she says.

"And I love you."

We look at each other, suspended in a timeless moment of togetherness. Her dark eyes are warm, large, and shiny.

"Feed me more?"

"Okay. What do we have here? Ah, you'll love this."

Taking it between two chopsticks, I direct the shrimp ball at her mouth.

Bella's lips stay closed and she scrunches up her nose.

"What?"

"It smells yucky," she says, taking my hand and directing the shrimp to my own mouth.

I smell it. It's one of her favorites.

"It's gone bad, right?"

"Uh, no. " I eye the yummy delicacy.

"Well, I don't want it. It smells yucky. I'll have another one of those spring rolls, pretty please."

**BELLA**

Two hours after my last spring roll, we're home and in bed. I'm dead tired. So tired, in fact, that Edward couldn't get me to wake up in the cab and had to carry me inside. I woke when he put me down on the sofa. He must think that I am drunk as a sailor, which I am not. I had three glasses of champagne over the course of many hours. I didn't feel like drinking tonight. I was so happy. I _am_ so happy.

"Feeling good, love?" Edward asks, wrapping his arm around me as he snuggles up against my back.

"Yes. Very good."

"So am I. I have the most beautiful, talented, brilliant girl in bed with me…" He kisses my neck, and I sigh with joy at the sensation of his soft, warm lips, relaxing completely into the comfort of Edward's body. I pull his arm closer around me and kiss the back of his hand.

"You were so sexy," he murmurs. "When you did that thing with your leg?"

"Mmm?"

"I got hard."

"You did?"

"Yeah…" He puts hot little kisses on my neck and sneaks his hand into my sleepshirt, where it travels lazily to my breasts.

_I feel so safe. So comfy._

_So tired._

"I love you," Edward whispers. His tongue tickles my ear.

"Mmm… Love you…" I murmur.

_Sweet… Happy…_

_Edward…_

_Mmm…_

**EDWARD**

She's asleep.

Bella is asleep!

The hard-on I've been sporting for an hour is poking her butt and I've been kissing her neck until a second ago, when a soft snore alerted me to the fact that my wife is asleep.

Which is… odd. Unlike her.

And very frustrating.

I sigh and kiss her shoulder, burying my face in her hair.

"Night-night, my love," I whisper.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading. Leave me some love?**


	12. Give Him the OoLaLa

**A/N:**

**I do not own Twilight, but I do own the experience of having just seen our boy at the Berlin premiere of Breaking Porn, ahem, Dawn. He is sofaking beautiful, and I screamed along with all the thirteen-year-olds around me. I also saw Dean! Oh, and that Lautner guy was there too.**

**On with the chapter.**

**Thanks to dellaterra, my wonderful beta. Any remaining errors and mistakes are mine.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 12**: Give Him the Oo-La-La**

**EDWARD**

It's ten p.m. on New Year's Eve, and I'm getting ready to collect my wife from work. It's not even January, and our schedules, already, suck. It would be so nice if not too many people fucked up their hearts tonight, but I know that's wishful thinking.

Exiting the cab on Broadway and 48th, I'm immediately surrounded by hordes of people.

_Yeah. New Year's. Great._

As swiftly as possible, I make my way to the stage door. Luckily, the manager remembers me and lets me in. He even shows me the way to Bella's dressing room, telling me that "Miss Swan is currently taking her third curtain call."

"Wow. How many were there last night?"

"Nine," he smiles.

"Um... Do you think it would be okay if I waited for her in her dressing room?"

Bella has been in two productions at the New Theater, but I don't want to be presumptuous.

"Sure, Mr. Swan," the stage door manager assures me cheerfully. "You're her husband, aren't you?"

I can't stop smiling as I take off my coat and wander around in Bella's dressing room for a few minutes. It's nice, with a loveseat and a coffee table. The makeup mirror is surrounded by light bulbs, and the table is littered with lipsticks and powder, hairpins and wrapping papers from throat lozenges.

A framed picture of Bella and me from our honeymoon is placed by the mirror. We're smiling at each other, happy and carefree. Piles of opening-night gifts and flowers are scattered on the table and dozens of cards are pinned to the wall.

I'm reading a few of them, wondering what _I'm sure you'll manage, x Jane_ is supposed to mean. Is it bitch-speak? And what exactly is bitch-speak?

Voices from the corridor yank me out of my idiotic thoughts and I stand upright. Outside the door, Bella is giggling loudly.

"Yes, we must, absolutely. Okay, I'll see you in a minute."

The door opens, and I'm stunned as she walks in, wearing her sexy costume, her face heavily made up, her hair a dark, curly halo around her head.

"Oh my God!" Squealing, she runs into my arms. "You're already here!"

She wraps her legs around my waist once I've lifted her off the floor, and we greet each other with a long kiss. I haven't seen Bella since yesterday morning. We have eleven hours until I have to go back to work, and I know that when I return, Bella will be asleep. Which means we need to make the most of our time together.

I kiss her, never minding that her lipstick will be smeared all over my lips.

"I missed you," she whispers, holding my face in her hands. "Missed you so badly…"

"So did I," I murmur before our mouths merge again. My hands are splayed out over her butt, pressing her body against me, I can feel my cock rise in greeting. She smells exciting, like makeup and clean sweat and Bella.

Our tongues play with each other and our breathing gets faster. Her ass feels so good in my hands, so I give it an enthusiastic squeeze, making her moan in response. I kiss a trail to her neck, softly sucking the tender spot behind her ear.

"Edward… Set me down…"

I oblige, and Bella pushes me backward into the loveseat, straddling my lap the second I sit. Her hands slide beneath my shirt and sweater, roaming my chest, brushing over my nipples. My fingers move to the hem of her dress, stroking upward over her thighs until I reach the stretch of lace on her stockings. She's wearing them with a garter belt, which is visible during one scene, the play being situated in the Twenties. It's making me impossibly harder.

With one decisive move, Bella yanks up my sweater and I lift my arms, helping her take it off, following it with my shirt. She softly bites my neck, unashamedly putting her hand on the bulge in my pants.

"Ahh…" I moan.

I cup her breasts in my hands, but the hundreds of rhinestones on her dress are incredibly scratchy.

"Edward… I need… to take this off…"

She fumbles with a zipper under her arm and swiftly removes her dress. Carefully, she places it on the arm of the loveseat before she returns her attention to me.

"Zafrina will kill me," she whispers, licking over the rim of my ear, "if this gets your spunk on it."

Now that I am able to touch her breasts, I do, and revel in their roundness and softness. Moving Bella's bra to the side, I kiss her nipple and she shudders. She's working on the fly of my pants and I help her shove them down alongside my underwear.

"Mmm..."

A wanton smile plays around her lips as she wraps her fingers around me. I groan. Her hand moves up and down and since we're very close, the tip of my cock now and then touches the soft skin of her belly.

"Off with those…" I hook my fingers into her panties. "Please…"

When she's pulled them over her ankles, she's still in her bra and garter belt and stockings. And shoes. It's a Helmut Newton fantasy come true.

She guides me in, both of us moaning with relief at the connection. I look at her and it's surreal for a moment, seeing Bella still in her makeup. Her eyes are black in the dim light, the false lashes throwing huge shadows on her cheekbones.

She's moving up and down, letting me slide in and out, both of us starting to pant with pleasure. It's the most exquisite sensation on earth, being inside her, all wet and warm and welcoming.

"Edward… Edward… Oh… oh… ah…"

She's biting my shoulder so as not to cry out loud, moving faster, my hands in a tight grip on her hips, spurring her on. A small yelping sound escapes her and she shudders, constricting around me. My balls get tight and I can feel my release a second before it happens, spurting hotly into her while my mind goes numb and there's nothing but Bella and white-hot pleasure.

"Ahh… Oh God…"

My head falls to her shoulder, warmth flooding my body. My face comes to rest between her breasts and I sigh happily.

"I love you," I whisper into her soft flesh. "I love you so much…"

"I love you too," she sighs, her breath slowing down as she kisses the top of my head. "So much…"

Twenty minutes later, we leave the theater through the stage door. It's half an hour until the New Year begins, with scattered fireworks going off every few seconds. It's cold outside, but the snow has turned into dirty mud over the past few days. I grab Bella's mitten-covered hand as we make our way to Broadway.

"It'll be hopeless to try and get a cab," I say. The streets are filled with hundreds of thousands of people anticipating midnight.

Bella smiles up at me. With her face free of makeup, she looks much younger. Her eyes sparkle in the glow from the streetlights.

"Then let's go to Times Square. We can watch the ball drop, kiss and then take the subway if we don't get a cab."

And that is how my wife and I greet the New Year, along with half a million other people, holding each other in the clear, cold air and kissing while fireworks go off above us.

**BELLA**

It's Monday, my day off.

Edward tries to make it his day off as well, but it doesn't always work. He was called this morning and went to work, grumbling that he'd send me a message as soon as he knew how long it would take.

The year is ten days old and I feel that I have been doing exactly two things: working and sleeping. The past weeks have been mad, stressful and invigorating. After the brilliant reviews the play received, everyone has been going crazy. Performances are sold out, and over the period of the last ten days, I have given six interviews to papers, one to a radio station and had two photo shoots. I normally provide journalists with my own photos, which Seth took, but this women's magazine wanted me to model someone's spring collection and one interview took place at the bar of the Waldorf-Astoria, where I was photographed in a cocktail dress. It's all a bit surreal.

Right now, I'm sitting next to Alice at the hairdresser's. The cool January sun is shining in through the large windows of the salon, and I smile at Alice's incessant chatter. She's been involving herself a lot in Seth and Collin's wedding lately, and it's sweet to see how much she enjoys it, while the boys, and Leah and Sam, are grateful to have the brunt of it taken off their shoulders.

"I was talking to Collin last night," Alice chirps, taking a sip of her Mimosa. "They're going to Seattle next month to have a look at the hotel and everything. I love the idea of the wedding taking place outside."

"Yes," I agree. "Seth is already so excited, even though there's still five months to go." I stir another packet of sugar into my coffee because it's oddly bitter.

"Have you given any thought to your dress yet?" Alice asks hopefully. She's eager to get the color scheme done, which apparently means that the matron of honor has to announce the color of her dress, but I've just been too busy, or tired, lately to think about it.

"I will buy my dress exactly two weeks before the wedding," I say flippantly, "and you know it."

We're both wearing towels around our heads while the ultra-high priced repair stuff is supposed to work its magic way into my hair. If Alice didn't force me to do this kind of thing regularly, I guess my hair would look like shit.

Alice smiles.

"You'll do no such thing, Isabella Cullen! April is the absolute deadline. What if we have to make some changes? I saw the most gorgeous Givenchy gown the other day; it would suit your tone of skin so well. I'll send you the link, okay?"

"Okay…" I can't help but shake my head at her enthusiasm.

"How's my brother doing?" Alice asks. "He never calls me anymore, that fickle boy."

"He's working even more than I am," I shrug. "I hardly see him."

All of a sudden, I feel teary.

It's true. We see very little of each other these days. I leave for work around five and don't return until after midnight, at which point Edward is either asleep or still working.

"Bella?" Alice grabs my hand. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I nod, swallowing. "It's just… a bit hard. Edward and I are so close, and now… well…" Trying not to burst into tears, I take a huge gulp of my coffee.

_Yuck. Still bitter._

"I hear what you're saying." Alice sighs softly. "Jasper's always on the road, doing research for his book. He told me he'd be in Georgia in March. Doing _more_ research!" She sighs again, louder this time.

It's my turn to take her hand.

"Are _you _okay, Ali?"

She's silent for a rather long time, not even looking at me. Both of which are unusual for Alice.

"We've…" She swallows, then starts again. "Jasper and I have been together for such a long time and I truly love him. I always have and I always will, but… sometimes, it's hard. He's always with his nose in his books, always somewhere else, you know? Thinking about his book, stuck in his den, talking to his fucking editor."

She finishes her Mimosa in one big gulp, gesturing for someone out of my eye line to get her another one.

"What's with the editor?" I inquire.

"Daniel," she spits. "Sucking up to him all the time, pressuring him to attend parties and functions, preferably when I am not available."

"Oh, shit, Alice. I had no idea. Do you mean…"

"We're okay," she says, thanking the girl who hands her another drink. "But we've been better. Sometimes, I wonder…"

"Yes?"

I look at her intently, trying to make her feel that I am there for her, and that she can tell me anything.

"It's just… I'll be forty-one this year, and… We never wanted kids, but now that it's almost too late, I sometimes ask myself, like, what might have been." She sighs again, and takes a sip of her champagne and orange juice.

I had been toying with the thought of telling her that Edward and I have decided to have a baby sometime after the play finishes, but I'm sure that now is not the moment.

"Ali, I…"

We're interrupted by Amber's cheerful voice as she announces that she's going to rinse the peach-scented spunk out of our hair.

With our hair styled, Alice and I have lunch at the Russian Tea Room. We haven't made reservations, but our surname ensures us a lovely table. This is something I'm not sure I'll ever get used to. The money, and the name.

I order borsch, and Alice has some strange salad with caviar and a glass of Pinot Grigio. I'm getting a tiny bit worried here, because Alice usually never drinks during the day. We talk more about her and Jasper. I understand how she feels, with him always being away, be it figuratively or actually. After all, it's much the same way with Edward and me. One of us is always working, and we've been missing out on quality time together for far too long for my tastes.

We part in the afternoon, when I put a slightly tipsy Alice in a cab. I guess I should talk to Edward about his sister. I'm not saying that Alice is turning to alcohol for comfort, just that she's unhappy. She and Edward have always been close, and it might be good for her to talk to him.

I get a bottle of Roederer champagne on my way home. It's Edward's favorite, and since he texted he'd be home soon, I look forward to spending at least the last part of our free day with my husband.

_I still get shivers down my spine when I think of him as my husband…_

Once I'm home, I put the champagne in the fridge and crash on the sofa, suddenly so tired that I can hardly keep my eyes open.

It's Edward who wakes me, after I don't know how long. It could have been minutes or hours.

"Hello, my love," he whispers and kisses my ear. "Mmm, your hair smells so good…"

Slowly, I open my eyes and look into his beautiful face.

"Hi," I mumble. "What's the time?"

"Six," he chuckles. He kisses me tenderly, his lips molding against mine. I'm still sleepy, and Edward's kisses are delicious.

"Are you hungry?" he asks eventually when we come up for air. "I ordered dinner."

"What did you order?" I pull at his lower lip, lightly sliding my tongue over it.

Edward chuckles again.

"Pizza."

"Nom nom," I murmur against his chin. I yawn.

"Poor baby." Edward helps me sit up. "Did my sister drag you through every shop in Manhattan again?"

Instead of answering him, I wrap my arms around his neck and continue our kisses, which are slow and languid and utterly exciting. We only stop when the doorbell rings, announcing our dinner. We eat a divine salami pizza, feeding each other, laughing and making a mess. When we're finished, Edward suggests a movie, but I have a far better idea: a bottle of champagne and a bath.

Edward is already in the tub when I enter the bathroom with two champagne flutes. He grins cockily, stretching out his arms for me. Joining him, I sit between his legs, and he pulls me to his chest, enwrapping me with his whole body. I close my eyes and relax into him. We don't talk much, which is one of the things I love about us: We can be silent together, and it's never uncomfortable. I can always be myself with Edward, and I've never felt like this with anyone. I'm good enough for him the way I am.

We cuddle into our bed after the bath, all damp skin and flushed cheeks. I love Edward's skin. It's soft and, in many places, hairy, and I love the feel and smell and taste of it - of him - fresh and soapy and perfect. He's re-filling our glasses while I pepper his shoulder with kisses. Soft jazz music comes from the sound system, perfecting the mellow atmosphere.

It's cold and dark outside, but we're cozy and warm, and the bedside lamps are casting our bedroom in a golden light. Actually, I think lazily, Cedric has stopped sitting in the drawers of our bedside tables for some time now. It's a relief, because he always knocked stuff out at inopportune moments.

"Here, love." Edward hands me my glass and settles down next to me, sitting up against the headboard. He wrapped a towel around his hips after our bath, but it's coming off, and I can see his happy trail almost to where it becomes my happy place.

I'm in a towel as well, but I have also put on the thick pink socks that Alice gave me for Christmas. Leaning into Edward's side, I throw my legs across his thighs.

"To what are we drinking?"

"Um… Pink socks?" Edward grins crookedly.

"Don't hate the socks! After all, it's you who keeps complaining about my cold feet!"

Edward laughs and rubs my foot.

"I'll drink to pink socks, because no one makes them as sexy as you do."

The champagne is wonderful, dry and sparkly and refreshing. Edward pulls me a little closer and kisses me. He looks incredibly seductive, the epitome of manly beauty. He's happy inside his own skin, and it's one of the things that make him so sexy. He is easygoing and relaxed, and I think Edward would still be uninhibited if he were naked all day. Not that he'd have anything to be insecure about.

From the roots of his messy hair to the tips of his long toes, Edward Cullen is flawless -the perfect mixture of masculine and feminine, strength and sensitivity, hard and soft. Serious doctor, all responsible, and giggly goofball, enchanting me with his silliness.

I used to find the perfection intimidating, worrying that people might think, "What does he want with _her_?"

I don't worry about that anymore. We love each other, no ifs, ands, or buts.

I want him, and he wants me. Speaking of which, Edward's fingertips are running up and down the inside of my thigh, going a little higher with each move.

In contrast to his teasing actions, his voice is full of tenderness as he whispers into my ear.

"I miss you…" There is a hint of sadness in his voice. "I mean, not now. Obviously, not now… But I want to spend more time with you. I see my colleagues more than I do my own wife…"

Swallowing, I press my face into his shoulder, kissing him and inhaling his scent.

"I know," I mumble. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Oh no, Bella. I'm not blaming you," Edward says quickly. He takes my hand and kisses my fingers, one by one. "I work even more than you do. It's just that the hours suck." He kisses my brow. "But we're together now, right?" His breath is warm while his lips lovingly caress my skin. "We're very privileged," he adds, sucking on my neck. "So I shouldn't complain. We're together _now_," he repeats.

And with that, he flips me to my back and yanks off my towel, Dipping one finger into his champagne glass, he paints a wet path from my breasts into my panties, following it with his tongue.

It's Monday, my day off, and I'm in heaven.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading! I know you are all very curious as to whether or not she IS. Leave me a review, I always love to hear your comments and ideas. See you soon!**

**xoxo**

**harperpitt**


	13. PitterPatter

**A/N:**

**Hello dear readers, here comes an early update to thank all of you for reading, and especially to those of you who take the time to review regularly. Thank you so much, you guys are the best, and if it weren't for you, I'd have thrown in the towel long ago.**

**Have you all seen Breaking Dawn yet? After all the talk about thrusting, I was a bit disappointed at the sex scene: there was no thrusting. None! Well, I guess that's what fanfiction is for, right?**

**Huge big thanks to my gorgeous beta, dellaterra.**

**Any remaining mistakes or errors are mine.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Happy Thanksgiving!**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 13: **Pitter-Patter**

God, I'm so tired. Edward left our bed three hours ago, grumbling on his way to the shower. Our nightly fuckfest left its mark on both of us. He kissed me softly before he went to work, barely suppressing a yawn.

I had an email from Tia the other day, telling me that there was a dance rehearsal scheduled for today so we don't get slack over our steps. I have a good mind to call in sick. I don't do that, of course, because I know that it would only fuel Jane's negative energy. I drag my tired bones to the bathroom.

_Great. I got my period._

It's unusually weak, but it explains the light cramps and tender breasts. I guess I wouldn't even have noticed if I'd missed it, being so caught up with work.

I walk downstairs after my shower. Cedric waits for me in the kitchen, pretending that Edward didn't feed him already. I allow the cat a spoonful of tuna and set up coffee. There's a note propped up against the machine.

_My sweet little lamb,_

_I should have known that marrying a younger woman would do me in._

_God,__I__'__m__tired.__Every__part__of__me__is__tired.__Even__my_cock_is__tired._

_I love you so much. As does my tired cock._

_Have a beautiful day, my beautiful girl. I couldn't love you more if I tried._

_E_

I smile goofily while I take my first sip of coffee.

_Ugh. Why does this taste like dishwater?_

Cedric uses his nose to push his bowl across the floor, clearly attempting to convince me that he needs more food. I tickle his ears and wish him a nice day.

The weather is abominably cold, and the streets are muddy. The subway smells like wet dogs and feet. It's noisy because everybody feels the need to share their cell-phone conversations, or just babble shit at each other. I'm short-tempered and I can't stop yawning.

I'm a little late and need to hurry once I leave the subway. Everyone's already there when I arrive, panting my excuses. Jane eyes me with a sneer from her spot in the middle of the room with a sneer. She's wearing a black leotard, making me feel like a plump frump. I may have lost some weight, but I will never have her elfin looks. I can thank my tits and ass for that.

_I__really__hope__that__Cornelius__will__never__do_ A Chorus Line.

We start to warm up and I do my best to keep up with the others.

"Bella," Alec's nasal voice pierces my ear. "Are you fucking kidding me? Surely you can lift your leg higher than that."

By the time Felix and I are actually dancing, I'm close to tears. Alec corrects every single one of my movements, finding fault with anything I do.

"Jane," he barks. "Can you demonstrate that bit for Bella? I guess she's been so busy _being__a__star_ that she has forgotten how to do the most basic moves."

"Alec," Felix says, "You're going too far. I understand that the situation is far from ideal for your sister, but what you're doing right now is highly unprofessional and unfair."

I look between the two of them, tall and impressive-looking Felix and feminine and sharp-tongued Alec. I'm too astounded to even say anything. Clearly, things have been going on behind my back.

"I'm just saying –" Alec starts, but Felix interrupts him.

"The fact that Cornelius isn't present does not mean he has no idea what's going on, so hold your horses, okay, Alec?"

I can literally see Alec bite his tongue. Jane frowns.

"Okay," I step in. "Can we just calm down and continue?"

The rest of the rehearsal is awful, and no one laughs or jokes as usual. Everyone is glad when we finish and I leave the building like it's on fire, taking a cab back home.

I'm dreadfully tired, my brain empty and my limbs rubbery. Curling up on the sofa, I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. When I wake, I feel heavy and disoriented, and I have heartburn. I'm also a little sick, only now realizing that I haven't eaten all day. I make myself a quick sandwich, which I eat in the kitchen, leaning against the counter while I check the messages on my phone. Seth wants to know what I'm up to, and Edward sent a sweet and raunchy text.

_Cock rejuvenated. How's the pussycat?_

Smiling, I type a reply.

_**Cedric's fine.**_

I press _send_and immediately follow it with another one.

_**And the pussy is ravenous for her manmeat…**_

A few seconds later, my phone beeps_._

_Raaawr. Hot kisses, my little kitten._

Another trip on the subway later – this time with a man next to me that stinks so horribly of liquor that I almost vomit on my shoes – and I'm back at the New Theater. Sitting down in Niall's makeup chair, I relax. He's a chatty guy in his fifties whom I have grown to like very much. He adores my eyes and my hair, and always tells me that I have beautiful skin, boosting my confidence before the show.

"You look a bit tired, honey," he says.

_Um. Right. What was I saying?_

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"Let me take an educated guess," he chirps, applying Kryolan W1 to my face.

"That seething hot-stud husband of yours…"

"Mmm?"

I wonder how he's going to continue.

"… and you… um, celebrated the beauty of physical love, all night long?"

I try to keep my calm, and fail. We giggle like schoolgirls. It's such a pleasant relief after the day I had.

Felix comes in. He smiles rather anxiously.

"Hey, Bella. Hello, Niall." He sits down and Niall starts on his hair. "Bella, I'm so sorry about earlier."

"It's okay," I shrug. "I mean, it's not your fault. Alec just hates me, and so does Jane, I guess."

"Jane doesn't hate you," he says quickly. "She's just frustrated."

I can tell how Niall's ears get bigger as he tries to find out what's going on.

"Just… don't let it get to you," Felix says. "You're a great actress, and a fantastic singer and dancer. Alec's a jealous bitch."

"Amen to that, sista," Niall mutters, which makes us laugh again.

The show is sold out once again and the audience is in great spirits. Everything goes well, but I have some difficulty getting into the mood, and it's like I'm just going through the motions. I hate that feeling, that you're not really into it, struggling to get the emotions right. I lose a shoe in the second half when I make my exit, but Felix saves me by improvising and throwing it after me as if it was part of the scene. The shoe lands in the wings, where I retrieve it and put it back on before I return on the stage. The final applause is exuberant. It swells up when I go out to take my curtain call, making my heart flutter.

Everyone is going to a bar afterward and I guess it would be smart to come along and ease the tension with Jane, especially since I suspect there's something going on between her and Felix, but I'm just too tired, taking the second taxi of the day.

Edward's already in bed, reading a book, with Cedric draped across his feet.

"Hey, baby." He smiles. He looks tired as well.

I sit down next to him on the bed and kiss him. He smells and tastes of toothpaste.

"Hello, my darling. How was your day?"

"Long," he replies wryly, watching me as I pull off my socks. "Way too much paperwork." He's twirling a strand of my hair around his finger. "I canceled my registration for the conference in Boston. For myself, anyway. Victoria can go if she wants to."

"Is that good or bad?" I ask, peeling off my jeans and getting rid of my sweater.

"Neither. I just don't think I can afford to be away from work for three or four days." He grazes my cheekbone with his knuckles. "How was the show?" He takes his glasses off and pus his book away.

"I lost my shoe."

"On stage?"

"Yeah. Felix saved me though. He made something up and screamed at me, throwing the shoe after me into the wings."

"Oh dear." Edward smiles.

I take off my t-shirt and throw it to the foot of the bed, accidentally hitting Cedric with it. Meowing with indignation, he hops off the bed.

"Come here." Edward opens his arms for me and I climb into his lap.

He buries his face in my hair, kissing my neck, sighing softly.

"So good to feel you," he whispers. "I miss you, baby…"

"I miss you too."

He pulls back so we can look at each other. There are grey circles under his eyes, and I hate it that he's tired all the time. Well, actually we both are.

"I love you," Edward says softly, pushing my hair out of my face.

"I love you too." I put a small kiss on his lips. Soft, pouty, warm, and Edward.

It doesn't take long until we're kissing languidly, passionate yet tender. I'm like butter, or ice cream, melting away under his warmth. His large hands roam my almost-naked body and his lips cherish mine. It's love, sheer love, coursing between us like an electric current. Soft sighs and small moans fill the air as we undress one another, touching, tasting, drowning in each other.

Our lovemaking is slow and gentle and very, very tender. We're connected again, and it's the best feeling in the world to have Edward inside me, moving slowly on top of me, kissing me, murmuring, driving me to the edge of bliss, and ultimately, over it.

"Mmm…" Edward tries to regain his breath. "I love you." His eyes twinkle as he says it. He kisses me, for the hundredth time tonight.

I'm really sleepy, cuddling into his side once he has turned on his back, wrapping my arm around him.

"Love you…" I whisper into his chest, before a cotton-soft cloud carries me away.

**EDWARD**

I'm watching the snowflakes float down lazily from the grey January sky. It has been snowing for the last five days. Five days since I spent any quality time with my wife. I miss her all the time. We text and speak on the phone, but it's not the same. I sigh and continue to stare out of the window.

The rooftops and trees look beautiful, white and crisp and fresh. The streets, on the other hand, aren't quite as pretty, all dark and muddy and full of puddles. From where I am standing, everything looks lovely though, a little winter wonderland.

It's lunchtime and I should go to the cafeteria and get something to eat. Breakfast was six hours ago and consisted of a bowl of Captain Alphabet. I will go in a moment, but right now, I need another second. I need to think.

This morning, we admitted a woman who was thirty-two weeks pregnant with twins. She's suffering from preeclampsia and had a mild heart attack last night. Luckily, her husband called an ambulance right away and an emergency c-section was performed. The twins are stable, but the woman's life is still at stake. It's cases like this one that make it hard to stay detached.

The poor husband is beside himself. He can't even hold one of his girls without bursting into tears. I do hope that Mrs. Jesson will make it. My thoughts wander to Bella a few times, but I can't even go there. I'd go mad. I'd die.

A knock on my door pulls me out of my gloominess.

"Yes?"

"Hi, Edward!"

It's Victoria.

She was with me through the ordeal this morning. I know that she sometimes finds it hard to distance herself as well.

"I just looked in on Mrs. Jesson," she says. "No change, but all four grandparents have arrived, and I think that helps a little bit."

"Good. That's good." I rake a hand through my hair.

"Did you have lunch already? Because I was going to get mine."

This is nothing unusual. Just as with Ben or Demetri, I sometimes share my lunch break with Victoria. Once we're sitting in the cafeteria, we talk about the patient for a few more minutes, thinking about alternative therapies, looking up every alley.

At some point, we stray off the subject. Victoria asks about Bella's play and tells me once again how much she enjoyed the show.

"Yeah," I say, munching on my turkey sandwich. "The reviews blew us away."

"I'm so glad for her," says Victoria, her eyes never leaving mine. "The play is so great, so funny, and yet it poses so many questions that still apply to us today, you know? Why are you here? What do you want? Why me?"

"Um… Yeah… I guess. Maybe I'm just too shallow. I hadn't thought about it that way. To me, it's just a sweet comedy."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Victoria smiles. "I know I tend to interpret things that aren't really there into stuff."

"I'm not sure you do," I say. "One might call it _insight_."

"Oh, well." Victoria lets it go with a shrug.

The rest of the day passes quietly, and I'm glad when I am home before Bella is asleep. We take a bath together, and it's so good to feel her close once again. I massage her shoulders, and she moans softly when I knead her strained muscles.

"God, baby, you're tense."

"I know," she sighs. "Oh God, don't stop."

"I won't," I say, sitting up straighter behind her.

Her small body is slippery and wet, and I try not to let myself get distracted. I kiss her ear.

"How was your day, little lamb? Did you meet Alice?"

"No. Oh, God, right there…"

I realize that I've hit another sore spot.

"No," she continues. "I slept far too long, and then I went to Bloomingdale's to get a present for Collin, but everything got on my nerves, and I took a cab back." She sighs again. "Oh that's so good…"

Chuckling, I kiss her neck.

"We could do the soundtrack for a soft-porn movie, you know?"

Bella giggle-snorts, and I pass my hands from her shoulders to her breasts, cupping them, enjoying their fullness.

Bella flinches and makes a tiny, displeased sound as she gets tense.

"What?" I say, immediately concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, it's just… my breasts are so tender…"

"Tender… how?"

"Like when I'm on my period." She turns to me, smiling reassuringly and kissing my chin. "It's nothing."

"You had your period only last week," I say, my mind already racing through the possible scenarios.

"You're right," she shrugs. "I guess I forgot, because it was so weak. It hardly was a period."

I kiss Bella's shoulder.

"Baby, when was the last time you saw your OB/Gyn?"

"September, I think. After we got back."

I can tell by her voice that she's getting irritated. She's been rather short-tempered lately, and I hope it's not the pressure of the play. I know it's only three hours a day, and I used to think it was nothing, but the stress is enormous. And on Saturdays she has two shows. That makes seven shows a week, acting, singing and dancing for three hours in front of eight hundred people who expect a grandiose evening for their fifty to eighty bucks.

"I was just wondering," I begin, running my finger from her neck to her arm, "if –"

"Whether I have breast cancer? Or if I'm heading to a nervous breakdown?" She wriggles out of my arms, standing up and leaving me with the view of her gorgeous backside. "Thanks, Dr. Cullen, but I think I'm fine!"

She wraps herself in a towel and leaves the bathroom.

_Well done, Edward. Super._

"Bella…" I get out of the tub and follow her, my body dripping wet.

She has curled into a little ball on the bed, crying softly, the tremble of her shoulders giving her away. I crawl up to her and wrap her in my arms.

"Bella," I whisper, "I'm sorry, baby. What is it?"

"I'm sorry," she mumbles back. "I don't know… There's so much going on… The play, and we never see each other, and that bitch Jane…"

"I'm sorry our work hours suck," I murmur into her neck. "But it's only for as long as your play runs, and…"

"And what?"

"Never mind," I sigh. "I love you, baby." I pull her a bit closer, and kiss her neck, murmuring softly until her crying recedes.

"I love you," I whisper. "I love you."

"I love you too," she replies in a hoarse voice. "Sorry I'm so…"

"Never mind, baby… Let's just sleep, shall we?" I kiss her ear.

Bella makes a sound between a yawn and _mmm._

I pull the blankets over us and kiss Bella's shoulder, whispering that I love her again. Her deep breathing soon tells me that she's asleep.

=====oOo====

Bella and I haven't seen a lot of each other lately. In other words, nothing new.

When we do, we try to keep up with each other's lives, reconnecting physically, trying to make the most of our time together, which mostly leaves us overtired.

Bella's play has been on for more than two weeks, and I'm a little ashamed and a little pissed that I haven't been able to see her in it since the opening night. Everyone is singing her praises, and there have been various newspaper articles and two magazines with the loveliest Bella pictures ever.

She's been cranky for a few days, and I don't quite know why. I suppose she's really just overworked, and I hope I can convince her to take a break once the play closes in June. I don't know if it's good or bad that I'm thinking this, seeing that it's only January. We never talked further about the breast thing from a week ago, but I still worry, and it's just a matter of time until I'm going to bring it up again.

Today's Monday, her day off, but since I had to go to work for five hours, she spent it with Alice, visiting an exhibition at the Guggenheim. She's just returned home, standing with me in the kitchen as I make dinner, both of us sipping a glass of Pinot Noir.

"How was it?" I ask, slicing a breast of chicken.

Bella, as always, looks lovely, her cheeks rosy, from the wine I guess, leaning against the counter as she watches me.

"It was nice. But it was so crowded, and we had to stand in line for the tickets for over an hour, and my feet began to hurt."

"Mmm," I utter noncommittally, knowing she's not going to like this. "Have you thought about… you know, taking a break when the show finishes?"

"Yes, Edward," she replies testily. "But it simply depends on what comes up until then."

I sigh softly, and mince an onion.

"Could you hand me the wok, love? It's in the lower cabinet behind you."

Bella doesn't reply, but from the corner of my eye, I see her crouch down and open the cabinet door. I take a step in her direction to take the pan once she comes up, and a second later, I'm glad I did, because she practically collapses against my chest as the wok crashes down noisily. I catch her just in time, my arms supporting her limp body.

"Whoa there…" My heart breaks out into a small gallop from the adrenaline rushing through my veins.

"Oh," Bella sighs.

I scoop her up into my arms and cross the dining room, setting her down on the sofa in the living room. She's pale. I lift her feet up on the sofa and sit down with her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." She nods her head. "It was just caused by coming up too quickly. It was just a second, and everything turned black."

"Lie down, I'll get you some juice and a cookie," I say, hoping it's just hypoglycemia.

The color has returned to her face by the time I get back, and she takes a sip of orange juice while I take her pulse rate, which is fine.

"I'm good, really," she says. She takes my hand and kisses it. "Sorry for snapping at you earlier."

"Did you eat?"

"Are you kidding me?" She rolls her eyes. "I had two chocolate croissants for breakfast, and a steak and hash browns at the café at the museum! And a chocolate milkshake as well."

"Okay," I chuckle, and kiss the corner of her mouth. "Maybe your body was passing out from the fat overload."

"Ha ha." She frowns comically. "Maybe you would like to sing and dance for three hours every night in my place."

"No, I think you're way better at that." I kiss her once more. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." She smiles.

"Just stay here. I'll call you when dinner's ready."

We make slow, tender love later that night, and there's an unexpected intensity to Bella's reactions. We snuggle up to each other afterward, and I whisper that I love her, but to my surprise, Bella has already fallen asleep. Barely two minutes after we're finished, and she's out like a light.

I have a late shift the next day, starting at noon, and the thought of sleeping in is marvelous. I close my eyes and relax into the warmth and softness of my wife's body, and fall into heavenly sleep.

I am woken, rather ungently, by Bella, who is climbing across my body and running to the bathroom. I open one eye and peek at the alarm.

Great. Seven a.m.

There are miserable retching sounds from the bathroom and I drag myself out of bed. Bella is bent over the toilet bowl, puking her heart out. I kneel behind her and hold her hair, and even though I'm sleepy and my mind is foggy, a lightbulb goes on above my head.

"Bella?"

She's finished, getting up unsteadily, flushing the toilet and brushing her teeth. My hands are on her hips and I lean into her as she furiously scrubs her teeth.

"Bella… Do you think you might be pregnant?"

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading. **

**At last, the cat is out of the bag, so what do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

**Remember: reviews are the one reward a fanfiction writer gets, and it only takes you a second…**


	14. Ours

**A/N:**

**Thank you to all my lovely readers, especially those who take the time to review!**

**A huge big fat thank you to my brilliant beta, dellaterra. Link to her profile can be found on mine, by the way.**

**Any errors and mistakes belong to me.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 14**:****Ours**

**BELLA**

"Do you think you might be pregnant?" he asks in a soft voice, and I can feel his warm breath on my neck.

Our eyes meet in the mirror, mine staring back at him in shock.

Edward's lips are curled up into a tiny smile.

White froth is covering my mouth.

Turning away from him, I spit and rinse my mouth before I turn around in his arms.

"I can't be," I reply. "We've always used protection… And I had my period a week ago!"

"Hmm." Edward twines his arms around me. "Still I think… you know…"

"Well, I was a bit concerned," I say, "because my period was so weak. I mean it was hardly a period at all."

"There _is_ a thing called spotting, " Edward says slowly. "Light bleeding while the fetus implants itself in the womb."

Our eyes meet and I need to free myself from his arms so I can sit on the edge of the tub. Edward sits down next to me.

When we speak, we do it simultaneously.

"Do you think you are - "

"Do you think I am - "

"Oh my God," I say, and tears are already springing to my eyes. "Oh, Edward…"

His eyes are huge and green and filled with the most hopeful expression I have ever seen. He swallows.

"Your breasts," he says in a voice that's hoarse and careful.

"Yes," I whisper tonelessly.

"You're also very tired lately," he says softly.

I nod.

"And a little moody…"

That's when the tears start pouring down my cheeks, getting soaked up by my shirt, which is actually Edward's shirt, but that doesn't matter right now.

"Shh, baby…" He pulls me close to him. "Shh…"

"I… I can't be… How could I be..?"

I don't know what I even feel right now, besides being scared and confused.

Edward kisses my ear, then my cheek, holding me close while I cry, murmuring until I'm able to speak.

"I can't be pregnant, Edward."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one thing, I have a play to act in…"

"It'll close in June," he says, his voice low and gentle. He plays with my hair, curling it around his finger. "Maybe you'd need to drop out a month early, but you'd probably still be able to do the major part of the season."

"I… I can't be…" I repeat.

_I guess this whole idea of playing house with Edward was just crazy. I'm not cut out to have a BABY!_

"Okay," Edward says, pulling me with him as he gets up. "I'm going to run to the drugstore now and buy a pregnancy test. You'll pee on that little stick, and afterward, we'll know what we're talking about."

I nod weakly, never moving from my spot.

"Bella… baby…" He kisses my temple. "It's going to be okay."

He puts his arms around me and hugs me close, enveloping me with his strength, his scent and the familiar feeling of being entirely secure. I don't know how long we stand like that, because it's so good, and as always, Edward's touch relaxes me.

When I don't move, he simply scoops me up in his arms and carries me back to the bedroom, where he softly puts me down on the bed, covering me with the sheets.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," he murmurs soothingly, putting a series of kisses on my face and neck. "Don't freak out, okay?"

I agree without using words, simply kissing the inside of his wrist. Edward responds by nuzzling my nose with his.

"Everything'll be fine," he murmurs and then jumps up and gets dressed.

I can hear the front door close, and Cedric's meows as he tries to get into the bedroom, but Edward shut the door before he left. He'd normally feed the cat, too, which tells me exactly howagitated _he_ is.

_I can't believe this is true._

I mean, of course we talked about it and agreed we'd do this once the play was over. But this? This is crazy.

When we agreed to have a baby, it was a thing in the future. The distant future. Not something that might actually be taking place _inside__me_ right now!

A baby.

Oh my God.

A baby.

What qualifies me to be a mom?

Nothing!

Edward looked so happy right now. He tried to hide it, and failed miserably. It's what he's always wanted.

But I can't base my decisions on what my husband wants.

Or can I?

Isn't that the concept of marriage? Working on it together?

Edward repeated to me, again and again, just now, that everything would be okay. And for some reason, I cannot imagine things not being okay when Edward's around.

I have no idea how long I've been sitting on the bed when I hear Edward downstairs, talking to Cedric.

It's quiet for a while after that, and I presume he's feeding the cat.

Fuck, I'm not even able to take care of a cat!

Hot tears spring to my eyes once again, and by the time I hear the bedroom door open, I am in another crying fit.

"Baby…" Edward flings himself down on the bed and hugs me close.

"I'm scared…" I sob. "So scared."

"I know." He kisses the back of my neck and strokes his fingers up and down my arm. "But there's no need to be. You're a beautiful, talented, capable woman. I love you. Love you." He gently sucks in the skin beneath my ear. "Relax…"

And as usual, his lips and hands and voice work their magic, and I do relax into the utter security he provides me with.

We lay like that forever, Edward's touch and smell and nearness soothing me. I feel sleepy, but I know I won't be able to go back to sleep with everything that's happening in my head.

"Edward?" I whisper.

"Mmm?"

He sounds a bit sleepy too, small wonder since he only slept for a few hours after his late shift.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"Should… should I take this test… now?"

His arm is twined closely around me, and I can tell by the rhythm of his breathing that he's asleep. I glance at the alarm; it's just after nine.

Wriggling out of his death grip without waking him is a bit of a challenge but I manage to do it.

He had set the bag from the drugstore on his nightstand, and I take it with me as I make my way to the bathroom.

I'm scared as hell, but I need to know. Now.

I lock the bathroom door behind me. I open the box and pull out the instructions. My hands are shaking a little. I pee on the stick and wait. I study the instructions once more.

_Oh, fuck._

I wait.

And wait.

And wait.

I sit down on the edge of the tub. I feel weak. I feel giddy.

When I finally summon up the courage to look at the stick, my legs almost give out under me.

A smiley.

_A smiley!_

A SMILEY.

A smiley, telling me I am pregnant with Edward Cullen's child.

He knocks on the door.

"Baby? Are you okay?"

I would answer him if I could.

_Am_ I okay?

"Bella?"

I stare at the smiley.

I feel surreal.

"Bella, can I come in?" Edward sounds worried.

He opens the door a couple of inches and peeks in. I must be looking idiotic, sitting on the edge of the tub, staring at that stick. Edward's face is highly alert as he watches me.

"Bella? Are you all right?"

I look up.

"I don't know." My voice is hoarse from crying.

He comes in and slowly walks over to me as if I were a frightened animal. He sits down next to me. Never saying a word, I hand him the stick.

Edward looks at it, and swallows. I can see him suck in his cheeks and bite his lip. He doesn't look at me. I don't understand his reaction, but it troubles me. Putting my hand on his thigh, I give it a little squeeze. Only when a wet drop land on the back of my hand do I realize that he is crying.

"Edward," I whisper.

When he finally raises his eyes to meet mine, the sight is beautiful. His deep green eyes are wet, and there is a smile of such love, such tenderness and joy, that my heart wants to fly into his chest. His smile is like the sun breaking through rain clouds, creating the most spectacular rainbow.

"Bella."

It's all he has to say, and we're in each other's arms, laughing and crying, holding each other, the deep sense of belonging stronger than ever before. I have no idea how long we stay like this. It could be an hour, or mere minutes. We're floating, suspended in a moment of perfection that is ours. Edward's scent and the security of his arms envelop me, and I know that everything will be okay.

When we finally emerge, it's Edward who speaks first, whispering my name and kissing my cheek.

"Bella, Bella, my beautiful Bella. I love you… Love you so much…" Cupping my face in his hands, he looks at me. His eyes sparkle. "You can't imagine how happy I am, how much I love you…"

"I love you," I whisper in reply, holding his face in my own hands.

Edward's laugh is so happy as he kisses me, gently, delicately, his warm lips slowly caressing mine. I've never felt so close to him.

"Should we… get out of the bathroom?" he murmurs into my hair.

"Yes…"

Hand in hand, we return to the bedroom, where Cedric is sitting on the bedstand, his ears moving like small satellite dishes. I notice the time on the alarm clock: it's after ten.

"Oh, Edward! You have to leave so soon!"

He shakes his head, gently pulling me with him as he lies down.

"I called Demetri and told him I'd be in a couple of hours later than scheduled due to personal reasons, and it wasn't a big problem." He wraps me in his arms.

Sighing with relief, I put my head on Edward's chest, listening to his even heartbeat.

"How do you feel" he asks in a low voice.

"Physically? Or emotionally?"

"Both…"

"Physically, okay. Emotionally, I don't know. Scared. Confused. Excited. Overwhelmed."

Edward moves his hand until it's on my flat stomach.

"It isn't bigger than a grain of rice," he says. He looks at me, his eyes shimmering in the morning light. "We made that, Bella. It's a product of our love."

"I know," I say, sniffling again. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever for?"

"Crying again…"

"Oh, Bella." He kisses me softly. "Over the next nine months, you have every right to be hormonal."

"I hate it when I have mood swings… Oh, God!"

Something occurs to me.

"What?" Edward looks at me in alarm.

"I… I need to talk to Dr. Banner. The meds…"

"Hmm, yes." Edward kisses the top of my head. "You also need to consult with an OB/Gyn. Do you want me to call Victoria?"

"No," I say, a little too quickly perhaps. I don't want to hurt his feelings, and I know he respects Victoria very much. "No, I'd rather go and see Dr. Marshall. I've been seeing her for three years. I trust her."

Edward's eyebrows rise up.

"I'm sure Victoria is a trustworthy doctor."

"Of course," I say. "It's just… I don't think I'd feel very comfortable with your coworker inspecting my lady parts."

"She sees vaginas all day long," Edward says. "It's her job."

"Edward." Taking his hand into mine, I look at him and push a strand of hair from his forehead. "Please. Katie is a fantastic doctor, and she's also a midwife. You should come with me and get to know her." 

"Okay." Edward smiles, passing one finger over my cheek. "Do you think she'll give you an appointment soon?"

"I'm sure. I'll call her this afternoon, and Dr. Banner as well."

"Good." His warm hand is still resting on my belly. "Oh, I love you so much."

Propping myself up on my elbow, I bend over him.

"I love you too, Edward. More than anyone in the world."

We lose ourselves in a succession of tender, languid kisses. They're exciting – Edward's kisses always are – but this is nothing sexual. It's about belonging together, and about _always_ having taken on a new meaning.

**EDWARD**

It's really hard to keep my mind on work today. I'm incapable of thinking about anything else.

_Bella is pregnant._

_I am going to be a father._

I hated leaving her earlier today, after we had been lying on our bed, talking, kissing, basking in our news.

I want to sing and dance through the hospital hallways. I want to do cartwheels and order champagne for the whole hospital. Worst of all, I want to tell absolutely everyone, because I am bursting with pride. Suppressing all these desires, I go about my usual routines, glad that I'm not scheduled to do surgery any time soon.

Tons of questions are on my mind.

How will Bella cope? How long will she be able to continue acting?

What will it be like?

_A baby…_

God, I'm so happy, sitting at my desk, staring out of the window like the love-struck goof that I am. It's just after seven, and I send Bella a message, wishing her a lovely show, telling her to take care of herself. I was never very keen on Bella taking a flight across the stage, held only by a steel rope, but now, it bothers me a hundred times more.

I guess I am going to have to watch myself over the next few months. I'm well aware of my overprotective tendencies, and I don't want to drive Bella crazy.

A knock on the door finally yanks me out of my daydreams. It's Victoria, wanting to discuss the results of Mrs. Davies's tests. She's thirty-two weeks pregnant, suffering from heart valve defect.

"I doubt she'll be able to make it through a natural birth," I say, taking off my glasses after studying the sheet of lab results Victoria handed me.

I think of Bella. What if anything happened to her, happened to our baby?

Fuck, I really need to get a grip.

"Sorry," I say. "What were you saying?"

"I want to wait at least another two weeks before we perform a Caesarean," Victoria repeats, then smiles. "You're a bit scatterbrained today, Edward, if you don't mind my saying so."

"I know." I pinch the bridge of my nose. "I'm sorry."

"Is everything okay?"

"Um, yeah."

_More than okay, as a matter of fact._

I think of Bella and our secret again. The urge to tell Victoria is strong, but of course I don't. We're not that close anyway.

I need to remind myself that nothing is certain yet. The test was positive, but Bella hasn't yet seen a doctor. Also, about twenty per cent of pregnancies end in miscarriage during the first three months. Bella can't be further along than six weeks, I think.

Victoria touches my arm.

"Well, if you ever want to talk, Edward…"

There is a small moment of awkwardness, but it passes quickly.

"Thanks, Victoria. I appreciate it."

And with that, we return to discussing our patients.

I finish work shortly after midnight, rushing home in the hope that Bella will still be awake. Her show finishes around ten-thirty, so she's usually home an hour later.

When I enter the apartment though, it's dark and silent. Not even Cedric comes to greet me, which can only mean that he's upstairs with Bella. I climb the stairs and tiptoe into the bedroom. I don't switch on the lamps since the silvery light of the moon is shining in through the windows. I can make out Bella's sleeping form in the dim light, and my heart swells with love.

Cedric jumps off the nightstand and greets me with a few noisy _meows._

"Shh, buddy," I whisper.

He starts to purr around my legs and I give him a friendly pat, trying to make my way to the bathroom. Cedric wants to accompany me, running to and fro until I accidentally step on his paw and a loud yowl echoes through the silence.

"Sorry," I murmur. "Sorry, cat."

"Edward?"

Bella turns on the bedside lamp, looking sleepy and disheveled and irresistibly sweet.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you so I left the light off. Then I stepped on Cedric's toe, I mean, paw."

"Oh dear." She smiles, still blinking her eyes.

I walk over to her and kiss her.

"Go back to sleep, baby. I'll join you in a second."

"'kay…" she yawns.

When I return from the bathroom, she's already half-asleep again, sighing happily when I slip into the bed behind her, wrapping my arm around her. I kiss her neck, happily inhaling her familiar scent. I can't even describe it. It's like a warm day in a meadow of flowers, like a clear pond sparkling in the sun.

"How was work?" she murmurs, entangling our fingers and putting our hands on her flat belly. Again, my heart wells up with love.

"Quiet," I respond. "And yours?"

"Good." She chuckles softly. "Only Felix did the most terrible blooper, saying _bong__stoned_ instead of _strong__boned_."

"Oh God." I laugh. "That's great." I bury my face in her hair. "I love you," I whisper. I kiss her neck, enjoying the silky warmth of her skin.

"I know… " I can hear the smile in her voice. "I love you too."

"I can't believe we're going to have a baby." I nuzzle her ear with my nose, softly pulling her earlobe between my lips.

"Neither can I. It's completely surreal."

"Surreal but nice," I murmur, quoting one of her favourite movies.

"Yes," Bella giggles sleepily. "More than nice. I have an appointment with Katie tomorrow morning." She sighs heavily. "What if I'm not?"

"Those tests are pretty accurate," I assure her. I spread my hand out over her tummy. I just know that my baby is in there.

Again, my heart does a somersault.

"I'm scared."

"Bella." I gently turn her around so we're looking at each other. "I know this is scary, but we'll be okay. I'm so happy. I love you so much."

"I'm happy, too," she says. "It's just… big, you know?"

"I know."

I kiss her, very tenderly, warm lips meeting and connecting.

Bella nestles her head into the crook beneath my chin and our arms slide around each other's body.

"Sweet dreams, my love," I whisper.

"Night-night, darling," she yawns, putting one last kiss on my neck.

We fall asleep in perfect harmony.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading. **

**I hope this is what many of you were hoping for. **

**What_I_am hoping for, you ask? _Your__review!_**

**xoxo**

**harperpitt**


	15. I've a Strange New Rhythm in My Heart

**A/N:**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! You all made me very, very happy.**

**Thank you to my wonderful beta dellaterra.**

**Any remaining mistakes are mine.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 15: **I****'****ve****a****Strange****New****Rhythm****in****My****Heart**

**BELLA**

"Well, Bella." Katie smiles, her dark eyes shining behind horn-rimmed glasses. "Congratulations. You are about six weeks pregnant. Calculating from the date of your last menstrual period, your baby is due on September 16th, which means you very likely conceived on Christmas Eve!"

It's good that I am lying down, because I feel faint as I stare at the ultrasound monitor.

"This," Katie points out, "is your little one's heartbeat. Can you see it?"

There is a tiny flicker somewhere in the black and white mess in front of us. It's our baby. Our baby's heartbeat.

My own heart is beating erratically as Katie explains to me that it will take a little longer to hear the heartbeat. She wipes the ultrasound gel off my abdomen. I feel hot. The heat creeps up my neck to my cheeks and tingles my scalp. My mouth feels terribly dry. Black spots blur my vision, and the second that I stand to follow Katie over to her desk, I know that this was a very bad idea.

"Bella? _Bella_!"

Soft pats on my cheek.

_Huh? Why am I lying down?_

"Bella?"

An incoherent sound leaves my lips. I open my eyes, feeling as if I'd just stepped off a rollercoaster.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"Um… Wha- what happened?"

"You fainted when I told you that you're pregnant. We put you on the exam table. How do you feel?"

"Giddy…"

And embarrassed. I try to sit up.

"No, no, no, no. Stay put. I want your blood pressure to go back to normal. Here, have this."

She puts a spoon with a lump of sugar to my lips.

"What's that?"

"Sugar, and Bach flowers."

"Okay." I open my mouth. The sugar melts slowly and I can feel myself return to the world.

"This is so embarrassing," I mumble.

"Shhh," Katie smiles. "You're a very sensitive person, Bella. Plus, your hormones are all over the place."

"Well, I'm sure Edward has something to look forward to…" I take a deep breath. "Can I sit up now?"

"Slowly, please."

Katie helps me sit up, and I already feel better. Her motherly way soothes my nerves. She's in her mid-fifties, and I trusted her from my first visit. Leah recommended her to me right after I moved to New York, and my first visit was actually to have an HIV test. After the horrible breakup with Jake – him leaving me for another woman – I thought I should make sure that a broken heart would be the only reminder of him.

Katie finishes taking my blood pressure. "Better," she says. "Do you think you're ready to stand so we can take your weight and measure your waist?"

Standing on the scales, I am surprised to see that I lost four pounds, but Katie assures me it's normal. She provides me with a dozen brochures and several bottles of vitamin supplements.

"I guess I don't need to tell you that you are to avoid alcohol, cigarettes and drugs?"

"I am aware of that," I smile, but then get serious. "What about the antidepressants I'm taking? I can't just stop from one day to the next, can I?"

"Of course not. You will have to consult your psychiatrist on that, but I guess she will suggest that you decrease the dose steadily. There are studies on antidepressants during pregnancy, but unfortunately, the whole subject still needs to be investigated much further. "

"I'm going to see Dr. Banner tomorrow," I say.

"Please give me a call afterward okay?"

"Of course." I nod my head. Once again, I feel completely overwhelmed.

"Call me if you have any questions or worries, okay? Though I'm sure that your doctor husband will provide you with more information than you bargained for."

That, actually, makes me laugh, because she's right.

We hug warmly.

"Meredith will give you an appointment for your next ultrasound in a few weeks."

"Oh, God," I whisper.

_It suddenly feels so real._

"Don't you faint on me again," Katie jokes. "Do you think your husband could collect you? I'm not comfortable with you going home by yourself."

"No… No, he's working. I'll just take a cab."

"I'll tell Meredith to call one." Katie puts her hand on my arm. "Congratulation again, Bella."

Once I'm in the back of a cab, I decide to surprise Edward at work. Maybe I'll be lucky and he has time for lunch with his wife.

Jen greets me at the reception desk of the cardiovascular department.

"Bella, how good to see you! You look fabulous!" She smiles. "Edward looks so happy all the time too. You're so good for him!"

She's really sweet, gushing on and on until I realize that she's not going to stop any time soon.

"Thanks so much, Jen," I gently interrupt her." You know, I was actually hoping to surprise Edward."

"How cute is that?" she coos. "You're lucky. He finished surgery about thirty minutes ago. He should be in his office. Go ahead!"

"Thanks, Jen," I say, quickly making my way down the corridor before she starts talking again.

"Yes?" Edward answers curtly from within after I've knocked on his office door. He has no idea that I went to see my OB/Gyn already. He is going to freak out.

He's behind his desk, wearing scrubs and a lab coat, going through some files, his glasses perched on his nose. Looking up, a huge smile spreads across his face and he gets up.

"Hey… What are you doing here, baby?"

I shrug innocently as we meet in the middle of the room. Actually, my heartbeat is speeding up.

"I came on a whim," I say, "hoping you'd have time. I'm taking you out for lunch."

"You are?" Edward's grin is an absolute panty-dropper. He wraps me in his arms and greets me with a long kiss.

"Mmm…" I sigh.

"Mmm?" His mouth moves softly against mine. "Okay… Let me…" A slight moan escapes his lips. "Let me… just shut down the computer…"

He doesn't let go of me, pulling me to the desk with him. There's a week-by-week calendar and a container with pens.

Suddenly, I know what I will do.

While Edward saves a file, I grab a red pen and leaf through the calendar until I find what I'm looking for.

I circle September sixteenth.

"What are you doing?" Edward smiles. "Your birthday is on the thirteenth!"

"Yes," I say slowly. I take off his glasses and put them on the desk. "_My_birthday is. If all goes well though, and if he or she sticks to the schedule, this is the day our baby will be born."

Edward's eyes get huge, his lips forming a small o.

"Did you…" He swallows.

Hopeful, green eyes.

"I just left Katie Marshall's office," I say. I curl my arms around his neck. "She confirmed that I am pregnant."

"Oh my God," he whispers, clearly overwhelmed. "That's the best news I've ever received."

"Six weeks," I whisper, tears pricking my eyes. "Oh, Edward."

He pulls me impossibly close, burying his face in my hair.

"I love you, Bella. I love you…" Pulling back, he looks at me, his eyes warm and slightly moist. "I can't believe it…" He kisses me with soft, reverent lips.

His light stubble scratches my skin, posing a wonderful contrast to his tender mouth as he kisses my lips, my cheeks, my eyelids. It's the perfect moment, and we are in our own perfect bubble.

Thirty minutes later, we're in a nearby bistro, sitting in a booth by the window. It's snowing again, but the streets are grey and muddy. The sun has come out, adding to our already elevated mood. Edward never lets go of my hand, smiling so happily, his eyes outshining the sun. He wants to hear every last detail about my visit with Katie. Of course, he gets totally worried when I tell him about the fainting spell.

"You mean you were, what, lying on the_floor_? And she and that nurse put you on the exam table?"

"Everything's good, darling." I squeeze his hand. "I almost fainted in the kitchen the day before yesterday, remember? I guess it's just low blood pressure. I'm okay."

He frowns and shakes his head. not appeased by my attempts to placate him.

When the waiter comes for the third time to take our order, we still haven't even looked at the menu.

"Can we postpone this discussion?" I ask and squeeze his hand. "Because frankly, I'm starving!"

Okay, I think I can play the pregnancy card from now on, because fifteen minutes later, there's a large plate of antipasti and tramezzini in front of me, and our conversation is pleasant and we're back in our blissful bubble.

"So…" Edward wonders as he feeds me a black olive. "Do you want to tell everybody? Or wait till you're through the first trimester?"

"Wait," I reply instantly.

Edward nods, but I can tell that he's dying to share our news.

"You'd love to tell everybody, right?"

Edward smiles crookedly.

"I'm just so happy, and I know that Mom will go ballistic. So will Alice. And Seth, too, don't you think?"

For a second, I imagine Seth's reaction. He's going to be an uncle, for all intents and purposes.

"He'll flip," I say. "But still… let's wait, okay? So many things could go wrong…"

"Shh…" Swiftly, Edward moves to my side of the booth. He pulls me close, kissing my brow. His left hand finds its place on my abdomen. "Everything will be good. We'll keep it our little secret, okay?" He kisses my nose. "Our sweet little secret…"

=====oOo=====

Twenty-four hours later, I'm sitting in Dr. Banner's office, talking about my medication and the effects it might have on our unborn child. She suggests that I switch to a newer and less harmful substance, which I will slowly reduce over the next couple of months until I am at the very minimum.

I'm still scared that the baby could be harmed, especially this early in the pregnancy, when everything can still go wrong. Studies have shown that expectant mothers who are taking antidepressants are more likely to give birth prematurely. There is also a slightly elevated risk of suffering a miscarriage.

Dr: Banner encourages me not to brood on any of that, stressing that I need to reduce the medication slowly, and only to a point where I feel comfortable.

"If you suffer a depressive period while you're pregnant, it will do your baby no good whatsoever. It is important that you are stable, Mrs. Cullen."

I'm still pondering the subject while I'm in makeup the next day. Niall is chattering away on the latest gossip, but I'm distracted.

I want to do everything right. I want to have a healthy baby, and I'm ready to do whatever might be necessary. The whole notion, though, is still totally surreal.

I guess I need to tell Cornelius the news soon, but I somehow want to keep it a secret between Edward and me a little longer, and I'm really superstitious about that twelve-week mark.

Edward and I haven't discussed it in depth yet, but it's clear that I won't be able to finish the season. I wonder how much longer people will continue to believe I am this sassy, party-loving young girl. One of these days, there will be a baby bump.

_Another surreal thought._

The show is lovely tonight, but I feel a bit dizzy when I take that flight across the stage.

"Bella," Felix says once we're in the wings after the last curtain call. "We're all going to Paddy's Pub, are you coming?"

"No, I'm a bit tired," I reply, heading to my dressing room. It's Sunday, meaning that we have the next day off. Edward usually tries to make Monday his free day as well, which doesn't always work.

He's waiting for me when I get home, stretched out on the sofa with Cedric sleeping at his feet. He's reading a book. Edward, that is, not Cedric.

"You're back," he smiles, stretching out his arms for me.

"Hi." Kissing him, I sit down and snuggle into his side.

"How was the show?"

"Good." I peck his lips with mine. "Mmm, I love it when you wear your glasses…"

"Silly girl." He chuckles and kisses me, his lips irresistibly warm and soft against mine.

"How long have you been home?"

"A few hours." He plays with a strand of my hair. "Are you hungry?"

"No. I had a sandwich."

"'kay…" Edward leans in and kisses my ear.

Cedric wakes and stretches languidly, making funny cat yawns.

"I called Mom," Edward says, wrapping his arms around me as I move closer and pull my legs underneath my body. "Well, I tried to call her," he says, his tone disgruntled. "only Dad answered the phone, and we spoke about this and that. He mentioned this article on a less-invasive surgical method for artificial heart valves." Edward's fingers run up and down my back as he speaks. He looks sad. "I'm not going to bore you with the details, but I happen to have read that article as well, and it was plain bullshit. The author had obviously not done his homework, and the studies he cited were outdated."

I watch Edward take off his glasses, his brows knitting together in frustration.

"So Carlisle and I had a god-awful fight about it. He said that I had no idea what I was talking about, and how he'd never been so condescending at my age." Edward sighs deeply, shaking his head as he stares into the fireplace. "Why do we always get to that point? It's so petty and unnecessary." He rakes a hand through his hair. It looks like it's not the first time he's done that tonight. He shrugs, murmuring more to himself than to me," It's just that I'm never good enough…"

I wrap my arms around him and pull him as close as possible. He rests his face on my shoulder, exhaling deeply.

"I wish I could help you," I say softly. "I wish I could say something wise and meaningful."

"Don't…" He kisses my neck. "Don't say anything. I love you." His breath is wonderfully warm. "I love you so much."

"I love you too…"

Our lips meet in a long kiss, but just when things get heated, Edward pulls back. He looks adorable, all pink cheeks and disheveled hair.

"There's something I'd like to give you," he whispers. "Wait a second, okay?"

He's already getting up and making his way to the hallway. A moment later, he's back, a small blue box in his hand, a happy grin on his lips.

"Now what's that?" I say with a small frown. Edward likes to buy me jewelry, and I love it, but I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it, to the fact that money will never be an issue.

He sits down next to me, putting the box in my hand. He swallows.

"It's for you," he says softly, "for us. For our baby…" He bends down and kisses my flat stomach. "For our little pea…"

I get teary already, which has been happening a lot lately.

"Edward…"

My fingers entangle in his silky mess of hair as he continues to plant little kisses on my belly.

When I finally get to open the gift, my eyes fall upon a beautiful necklace. It's a slim, platinum chain with a charm that combines three hearts made of different stones.

"It's sapphire, and topaz," Edward explains. It's your and our little pea's birthstone – if he or she sticks to the plan, that is – and mine."

"Edward…"

I pull him into me, capturing his lips with mine. Edward moans softly when he feels the tip of my tongue, and my heart rate speeds up within seconds.

"Bella… baby…" Edward's fingers run up and down my sides until his thumbs brush my breasts. His lips move to my chin and, from there, to my neck. My head drops back, allowing him better access. Edward's tongue darts out to lick over the spot he's just been nibbling, his warm breath making me shudder. My whole body is so sensitive, both in good ways and in bad, The way it responds to Edward's touch is entirely good.

"I love you…" He flicks his tongue over the rim of my ear, making me whimper. My nipples are straining against the lace of my bra, which actually doesn't feel good since my breasts are so tender they often hurt.

Edward however feels good, his body warm and familiar and strong as I move my hand under his t-shirt, gliding over his stomach up to his chest, toying with his hair. We move around until I'm half on top of him.

Cedric leaves the sofa with a loud meow.

Propping myself up on Edward's chest, I look into his eyes, which are filled with desire as he smiles back at me. His hand covers the small of my back under my sweater, his long fingers drawing circles.

I kiss him again, softly at first, our lips moving in a tender, practiced dance while our hands roam each other's skin and our kisses get more open-mouthed, breaths mingling and tongues meeting. Edward's heartbeat speeds up and I can feel it thump against my ribcage. One of my legs is wedged between his and I press myself into him to achieve some friction. When I put my palm on the prominent bulge in his jeans, Edward groans deeply.

"Edward…" I'm breathing heavily, fumbling with his shirt as I pull it higher. He lifts his arms and I practically tear it over his head, moving my leg over his so I'm straddling him, grinding into his growing erection.

"Baby… Isabella…" He pulls me closer so he can kiss me again while his long fingers tease me through the material of my pants.

Soon, we're both moaning and grunting, unceremoniously shedding the rest of our clothes. I pull Edward on top of me because I need to feel his weight, I want to feel his body covering mine. He's straining against me, hard and ready, and I open my legs and wrap them around his thighs.

We both moan with relief when he enters me, staying still for a moment once he's fully inside, hovering above me, his green eyes hooded.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm perfect…"

Slowly, he begins to move, kissing me, whispering my name. I'm hyper-aware of him, holding him close, my whole body tingling as he enters me again and again, becoming faster after a time.

My orgasm rolls over me unexpectedly soon, like a wave that drowns me in pleasure, and I cling to Edward as I cry out his name.

His thrusts get erratic and he buries himself deep inside me, trembling as he comes. Nothing is as beautiful as Edward's face in rapture, belonging to me, connected in the most basic of ways.

"Oh…" Fighting for breath, he kisses me, a blissful smile on his lips. "I love you… I love you." He carefully moves off of me and pulls me into his side.

I'm sleepy, as if my body had switched off power. Edward's heartbeat is slowing down under my ear, and his arms around me make me feel deliciously secure. Sleep claims me and I'm dull and heavy, drifting off within seconds.

**EDWARD**

I wake once during the night when Bella climbs back into bed after a trip to the bathroom. She didn't even wake when I carried her upstairs earlier on, having fallen deeply asleep after our lovemaking on the sofa.

Wrapping my arm around her, I snuggle up against her back and Bella hums, already going back to sleep, and I follow her a second later.

The next time I wake, it's dawn, the grey morning light making me think that I overslept until I remember that it's my day off. Sighing happily, I turn around to Bella, who is facing away from me. I kiss her shoulder, which makes her sigh, and leave her warmth to take a shower.

Once I'm downstairs, I prepare us a lavish breakfast with all her favorites. Since Bella is staying away from caffeine, I make her a cup of ginger tea. I feed Cedric and return upstairs, expecting Bella to still be asleep.

The bed is empty though, and I hear her from behind the closed door of the bathroom, making pathetic retching noises.

_Oh no._

She's been so lucky up to now as far as nausea is concerned. She has been complaining about "yucky" smells and tastes, but that was it. Looking down at the tray in my hands, I reconsider.

I deposit it on the chest of drawers in the upstairs hallway, doubtful as to how happy Bella will be about eggs, bacon, or pancakes. Grabbing the two mugs with my coffee and her ginger tea, I return to the bedroom at the same time that Bella emerges from the bathroom, looking slightly green.

"Please tell me it won't be like that all the time," she groans, climbing into the bed and dropping back on the pillows. Joining her, I kiss her shoulder and hand her the ginger tea.

"This is supposed to help with morning sickness."

Bella takes a sip and makes a face.

"Bah."

I smile and take a sip of my coffee. Bella scrunches her nose.

"Your coffee stinks as well."

"I'm sorry, I can take it outside –"

"Nonsense. At least that way, I won't be jealous of your caffeine input."

She sighs.

"Most women only experience nausea during the first trimester," I say. "How do you feel now?"

"Ugh." She shrugs. "Queasy. Tired."

"Sounds like a day in bed, if you ask me."

Unfortunately, my stomach chooses that moment to growl noisily.

"You need to eat breakfast, baby," Bella says, kissing my cheek.

"I put the tray outside," I explain sheepishly. "When I heard you in there."

"That's so sweet of you." She kisses me. "What did you make?"

"What would you like to eat?" I ask her instead.

"Orange juice. Really cold orange juice."

"Fresh orange juice?"

"I don't care, as long as it's cold."

She still looks a bit greenish.

"I'll get it for you." I'm already leaving the bed.

"You needn't," she says, "I can –"

And with that, Bella darts back to the bathroom.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading and please let me know your thoughts! **

**If you fancy a Christmas oneshot starring Edward and Jasper, do read dellaterra's _I__Can__Learn_. It's touching and brilliant and funny and so sweet! Link to her profile is on mine.**

**If you fancy an outtake that explains how Bella got pregnant despite them always using protection, leave a review and you will receive a Cedric's point of view.**

**Anyone interested?**

**Lots of love,**

**harperpitt **


	16. Why Don't We Try Staying at Home?

**A/N:**

**Thank you for the fabulous response to the last chapter! Now I know that bribery works with you guys, LOL.**

**Thank you to my wonderful beta dellaterra!**

**Any remaining errors and mistakes are mine.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 16: **Why****Don****'****t****We****Try****Staying****Home?**

**EDWARD**

My wife is nine weeks pregnant, suffering from nausea and fatigue, acting in a physically very demanding Broadway show every night and twice on Saturdays. I tried to persuade her to give at least the Saturday matinee to Jane, her understudy, who will take her role anyway once they start the European tour in June.

Bella is stubborn on the subject, telling me time and again that once Jane knows that she is pregnant, she will snatch the part from her. Bella's OB/Gyn, Katie, told her that, as long as there were no complications, there was no reason she couldn't keep doing the show until April or maybe even May. I have yet to meet Dr. Marshall, which will probably happen at Bella's twelve-week ultrasound.

I'm so excited about this. If she'd let me, I'd pack Bella into cotton wool. The fact that she's going to have a baby constantly occupies my mind. I was on the phone with Alice a few days ago, and I almost slipped and told her the big news, but I bit my tongue and babbled some nonsense about Bella and me planning to _adopt_ a baby _cat_. Knowing Alice, I am almost certain that she saw through my lie, but she never commented on it, merely asking whether we wanted a girl or a boy.

It's rather late, and I'm yawning as I choose one of the pregnancy books I bought yesterday, which are piling on my bedside table. I put on my glasses and start to read.

Twenty minutes later, I can hear Bella come home, bustling around downstairs and softly talking to the cat. She was delirious with joy when she learned that she wasn't permitted to clean his litter box any longer. I don't mind doing it; I never did, but Bella's joy was very cute.

The door opens and Bella's smile lights the room.

"Hey." She looks adorable, her cheeks rosy from the cold outside.

"Hi baby." I take off my glasses. "How are you? How was the show?"

Bella pulls off her socks and jeans, yawning as she does. "It was great. They wouldn't stop laughing when I did that thing, you know, after Pete offers me a cigarette?"

She sits down on my side of the bed and kisses me in greeting.

"Hi."

"Hello my love." I kiss her again, running my hand up and down the silky skin of her thigh. "Yeah, I think I know. When you do that funny half-dance and land on your butt?"

She smiles and nods. She's so beautiful, her face devoid of any makeup, her hair in a messy ponytail.

"Going to brush my teeth," she yawns, leaving me to the spectacular view of her backside. I dim the lights and wait for her return, my thoughts drifting.

I know that I worry about her too much. Her pregnancy is progressing perfectly normal, and apart from the morning sickness and fatigue, everything is great. I guess I just should relax.

When Bella returns from the bathroom, she is wearing one of my old Harvard tees, reaching mid-thigh. She climbs into the bed and snuggles up to me, putting her head on its usual spot on my chest, tugging her icy cold feet between my calves.

"Jeeze," I hiss, "Those feel like blocks of ice!"

"I'm sorry…"

She begins to move away and I can see her lip quiver. I swiftly trap her icy feet with my legs and pull her back. She sniffles, crying softly into my shoulder. I have yet to get used to the fact that Bella is teary and hormonal and much, much more sensitive than usual.

"Shh," I murmur into her ear. "I'm sorry, love. Your pretty little ice cubes just startled me." I kiss her ear, rubbing my calves over her feet while she laughs through her tears.

"I love your feet," I coo playfully, feeling her feet slowly warm up as she begins to relax.

"You're silly," she whispers. "I'm sorry. I'm such a crybaby. I don't seem to be able to control it."

"Don't worry." I kiss her wet cheek and put my hand on her stomach. It's still flat, but I like to imagine that it has grown a little bit. Bella puts her hand on mine and rests her head on my chest.

"It's not you." I say, kissing her hair. "It's our little pea."

"I know…" She sighs.

"Your feet are toasty now, are they?"

"Yeah…" Bella closes her eyes and finally relaxes, burying her face in my neck. "I love you, Edward."

"And I love you," I murmur, carefully stroking her belly. "And you too, little pea…"

The next day begins at five-thirty, and I already know that I won't be home before seven or eight. Bella's show starts at eight, and not for the first time, I think that our mismatched schedules just suck. Often, I try and wait up for her, but I can't always do it, just as she can't get up with me every day – especially since she's tired all the time now.

We usually talk during my lunch break, which can be at eleven-thirty or at three, and again an hour or two before her show. We text all the time, and it's sweet and sexy and wonderful, but hell, I'm really beginning to miss my Bella, my wife.

We weren't able to spend Valentine's Day together, for crying out loud. We both were working. Instead, we arrived at home almost simultaneously, Bella after her show and me after emergency surgery while I had been on call. We showered together and cuddled into our bed. Falling asleep with my wife in my arms is the best thing in the world, but I would have loved to take her out for dinner. Without seafood, of course. Or yucky-smelling things.

Monday is Bella's day off, and it has become our sanctuary, our little piece of heaven and privacy, so when Victoria accosts me later that week to invite us for her birthday dinner on Monday, I am less than enthusiastic. I know that Bella won't like it at all.

"Oh, please come, Edward," Victoria says. "James and I would love to have you and Bella with us." Her eyes are blue and somehow sad and I agree, knowing that Bella will have my head for this.

She sighs when I tell her over lunch at the trattoria near the hospital where we often meet when she joins me for my break. She's been nauseous all day and has already thrown up twice.

"But it's our day, Edward." She's staring at the checkered tablecloth, toying with a few breadcrumbs, arranging them in circles and triangles.

"I know," I say. "I'm sorry. We have the whole day though, and we don't need to stay very long. I mean it's her birthday party, right? We stay for an hour and sneak out as soon as we can…"

I take Bella's hand; it's quite cold.

"Don't be angry."

"I'm not angry, I'm just sad, I guess, because we see so little of each other and I'm not Victoria's biggest fan."

Our food arrives, but Bella eats only a few spoonfuls of her minestrone. Instead, she orders another orange juice with lots of ice. That, and bananas, are the only things that stay down these days. I feel terrible for her.

When Monday arrives, Bella is feeling better, which makes me very happy. It's a bright day, cold but with a distinct note of spring in the air. My arm is around Bella's shoulder as we take a walk through Central Park, talking about everything and nothing, enjoying each other's company as much as the rays of sunlight.

Belly looks enchanting in her blue poncho, her hands covered by black knitted gloves. We're laughing about something silly, and my heart literally expands at seeing her happy and well. It's only two weeks until her next checkup. Her first trimester will soon be over, and I can't wait to tell everyone.

We sit down on a bench by the Conservatory Pond. It really is a beautiful day, the park crowded with joggers and tourists and children with their nannies, everyone wanting to enjoy the first taste of spring.

"How do you feel?" I murmur, nuzzling Bella's ear with my nose.

"Good." She takes my hand and puts it on her stomach. "Very good." She presses her lips into my hair. "I love you."

"I love you too. And our little pea."

She smiles and looks at me with soulful dark eyes. "Do you really think it'll be a girl?"

I can't help the big grin that comes to my face every time we talk about the baby. I don't know why, but for some reason I am convinced that we're having a girl.

"Absolutely." I kiss Bella's cheeks and nose. "And she's going to be every bit as cute and beautiful as her mother." Ghosting my lips over her face, I kiss her eyebrow, her temple, and her forehead. Her skin is soft and cool, and she smells like apples and freshness.

Moments later, we are kissing sensuously, not at all like a married couple expecting their first child, but rather like teenagers making out on a park bench. I can't ever get enough of her. She tastes divine, and her touch causes shivers down my spine.

"Let's go home, okay?"

Thirty minutes later, we're naked in our bed, Bella moving on top of me, a vision of womanliness and beauty. Her milky white skin is flushed and she moans softly, arching her back while I watch her. Her figure is changing, and the way her breasts look is almost too much for me. Her belly is ever so slightly rounded and the knowledge that it is our baby makes her even more desirable. She looks adorable, all curves and perfection.

I carefully reach out and cup her full breast in my hand, making her gasp.

"I'm sorry… Did that hurt?" I withdraw my hand.

"No…" She opens her eyes and grabs my hand, putting it back on her breast. "No, it feels good. Just don't squeeze it… _Oh__God_!" She moans aloud as I gently brush my thumb over her nipple. "Can you… Can you do that again? Ohhh…"

So I do it again, and again, before I repeat the action on her other breast until she is whimpering, her fingers digging into my chest as her movements become more unrestrained.

"Edward… Yes. Yes…"

She drops forward until her bosom touches my chest, moaning each time her clit rubs over my pubic bone. I grab her hips and support her movements. We're both hot and sweaty, kissing wetly, panting and groaning.

Bella is divinely beautiful as her face mirrors her pleasure, her hair shiny in the afternoon sun that comes in through the windows.

"Edwa… Ah… Ahhh…" She bites my neck, moving frantically, and I know that she's close. For a second, even though I know there's no need to worry, I wonder if I'm too deep, and then all thoughts go flying out the window as she cries out and clenches around me, her body erupting in shudders.

Her orgasm seems to last forever, wave after wave coming over her as I lift her up and down until I feel myself tighten, spilling my release deep inside her with a low grunt.

When it's over, she sags against my chest, fighting for breath as if she's just run a marathon.

"Baby," I wheeze, putting my arms around her damp body. We're one entwined heap of sweat and wetness, clinging to each other as we descend back to earth.

"That was spectacular," Bella mumbles, her voice muffled by my chest.

I'm still inside her and it feels good, warm and secure. I wonder if this is what it feels like for the baby, floating around in her warm belly. Okay, right now it's only the size of a key lime, but I'm sure it senses on some level that it's safe where it is.

Bella's head has grown heavy against my chest, her body completely relaxed, and it makes me smile. She hardly blinks when I move her off of me, turning on her side and sighing happily when I snuggle against her back, for once joining her for her afternoon nap.

**BELLA**

Victoria and James live on the seventeenth floor of an apartment building on the Upper West Side. Edward grins as we ascend in the elevator. Everything about this building is pretentious, from the downstairs lobby with its marble floors to the art hanging on the walls of the elevator.

Edward looks adorable in a maroon suit and white shirt with the upper buttons open, displaying a bit of chest hair. His hair is a delightful mess, his cheeks slightly scruffy. He looks like my very own Sexward, and I'm hit by images from the afternoon. When I woke from my nap, I could feel Edward's… um… afternoon wood poking my thigh, and after some purposeful butt wriggling, he woke up too. Took him two minutes to be back inside me, giving me my second orgasm of the day. Number three was caused by his long and talented fingers as we bathed together.

My lips are still swollen from all of our kissing, and my girly parts are deliciously exhausted. The elevator dings and Edward takes my hand, giving me a lopsided smile. I know that, right now, he could kick himself for accepting Victoria's invitation. Right now, we could be at home in bed – or in the tub, or on the kitchen counter, or on the couch, or –

"Bella?" Edward's grin is downright dirty, and he waits a moment before he rings the doorbell.

"I was thinking," I inform him, passing one finger down his chest. "Promise me we won't stay too long, okay? I want to continue our fuckfest…"

"Bella," he groans, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallows.

"Promise?"

"Yeah." He kisses me softly, longingly, and just when I'm about to wrap my arms around his neck, the door opens.

"Edward! Bella!" ´Victoria exclaims gaily. "How lovely to see you! Come in, come in!"

We congratulate her on her birthday as she ushers us into the hall, which is decorated sparsely with modern furniture, a large photo of our hosts dominating the wall to the left. They are nude, their bodies entwined. No details are shown, and the picture has odd stripes and dots in gold and silver all over it.

"Wow," I say, as Victoria takes my coat. "That's big, I mean, impressive."

"Thanks," she smiles. "A friend of mine did it. Come in!"

She leads us down an equally ascetic hallway and into what I surmise must be the living room. Expecting to hear voices and laughter, I'm a bit surprised by the absolute silence. We reach the room and there is no one but James, tending to the sound system. There's a long wooden dining table with candles is in the middle, and a wall lined with books. A low white sofa and two armchairs. Dozens of plants adorn the room, making it seem a little bit like a greenhouse. An enormous aquarium divides the dining area from the rest of the room.

Atmospheric music wafts through the air when James turns and walks to us, smiling. He's wearing a suit and tie with a golden tiepin.

"Hey, guys." His hand is warm and dry as he shakes mine. "How good to see you! Great that you made it!"

"Dinner will be ready in ten minutes," Victoria announces. "I forgot to ask you, Edward. You two do eat meat, don't you?"

Edward and I look at each other, and I know that we're both thinking the same: _Great,__it__will__just__be__the__four__of__us._

"Yes," Edward says. "But we both only like it well done."

"And here's our aperitif," James calls out, offering a tray with four pinkish drinks.

"That looks fantastic," Edward says, who feels every bit as ill at ease as I do. "What's in it?"

"It's Victoria's Bite," James says, smiling indulgently at his beaming wife. "Vic invented it."

"It's gin, rhubarb juice, lemon and raspberries," she explains as she hands me a glass.

Edward's hand runs soothing circles at the small of my back.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Victoria," I say, "can I get a virgin one? I'm driving," I lie smoothly.

"You are? Wherever did you find a parking space?"

"Um, just a block from here," I mutter.

"Well, it does look fantastic," Edward repeats while James mixes me a new drink.

We all clink our glasses and chat about this and that. Edward asks how long they've been living here and if it was difficult to find a place.

"No," James says, "it was surprisingly easy. We moved in just before Vic started working at Lenox Hill. Actually, it was only the second apartment we looked at. It was Vic's witchcraft," he says affectionately. "She's so good with these things."

Victoria smiles. "Oh honey," she says. "Thank you."

A moment later, she makes her excuses to tend to our dinner. I offer to help, but she declines, insisting that we are her guests. James takes us on a tour of their home. All of the rooms are spacious and have little furniture and lots of plants. I imagine that I can smell a whiff of weed – having been in a four-year relationship with a stoner will do that for you – and give Edward a raised eyebrow. He has knocked back his drink and looks just plain bored. James's office has a huge portrait of his nude wife, her tiger's eye dangling between her breasts. If I'd ever had doubted the genuineness of her red hair… well.

Edward's pinkie touches mine and I know we're on the same page.

Shortly thereafter, we sit down for a dinner of couscous, chicken and carrots with almonds and raisins. I'm relieved it's not something I'm not allowed to eat, or something that makes me feel sick. I'm not too hot about the raisins, and I discreetly shove them to the side of my plate. I have a glass of orange juice while the others drink red wine.

Conversation centers around Victoria and James's travels to India and Tunisia, and their stories are quite interesting. I rather like James. He's a quiet man, maybe a bit under his wife's thumb. The three doctors avoid talking shop, even though Edward and James touch on the subject a few times.

"How is your play going, Bella?" Victoria asks, her super-friendly smile never quite getting to her blue eyes.

"It's great. Such fun."

She always seems to look right through me. It's creepy.

I noticed earlier how she watched me during dinner, when I ran my hand over my tummy. And also how she seemed to notice every single interaction between Edward and me. We chat about nothing, and when I feel Edward's arm draping over the back of my chair, I feel better. His touch always works that way, like a balm.

Victoria tells me that she's going to get our dessert, once again declining my help.

_So we can't see her add spider's legs and toad's feet to it, I suppose._

The content of the little bowl she places in front of me looks even worse than spiders and toads. It's greenish and jelly-like, with something that looks like buckwheat on top. A maraschino cherry dots the whole concoction.

I have always suffered from a quick gag reflex t isn't different. Since I've had to use their bathroom twice already I know my way, muttering my excuses before I clamp my hand over my mouth and run.

After I've lost my dinner, I rinse my mouth for about three minutes. I let some cold water run over my wrists as I look into the mirror. I look horrible, my runny mascara making me look like a panda bear. Taking deep breaths, I try to repair my makeup and finally leave the bathroom.

Edward is leaning against the wall in the hallway, looking worried.

"Hey." He pulls me into his side and kisses the top of my head. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"Shhh. Nonsense." Hooking his finger under my chin, he makes me look at him, "There's nothing to be sorry about." His brows knit together. "But… I'm afraid they know."

"What?" I break out into a cold sweat.

"Yeah… Victoria guessed right away." Edward shrugs. "She's an OB/Gyn, Bella. You aren't drinking, you pick your dinner apart, you touch your belly and finally… this."

He nods his head in the direction of the bathroom door.

"Oh."

Edward pulls me close as I feel the familiar sting of tears at my eyes, the itch inside my nose.

"Bella… Baby…"

"It's just that it was our news… and I wanted our families to be the first to know…"

He gently wipes my tears away with the tissue he magically produces from his pocket. I guess he's getting used to his teary wife.

"It still is our news," he murmurs. "Victoria and James promised to keep quiet about it. And in two or three weeks, when we do tell our families, it will be just as wonderful." He kisses my nose. "Are you okay to go back inside with me? I don't want to be rude…"

I nod, and, clutching his hand, I follow Edward back into the dining room.

Victoria and especially James are very nice when we return, congratulating us and promising once again to keep the news to themselves. Thankfully, the dessert has been removed.

"Oh my gosh, Bella," Victoria exclaims. "You totally have to become my patient!"

"Um, I already have a doctor," I say, Edward's thumb moving slowly over my wrist. "I've been seeing her for ages, and she's also a midwife…"

I trail off, and Edward supports me. "We'll still be bothering you with questions all the time, Victoria, and ask you for advice…"

I know that Edward is aware of how uncomfortable I feel.

Victoria, on the other hand, is not.

"No, no, no," she says, "you just _have_ to!"

"Vic," James says softly.

"What?" she lashes out. "I'm just offering my services. It's a sign. Are you all too blind to see?"

Edward pulls my hand into his lap, wrapping both of his around it.

Victoria and her husband exchange looks and after a moment, her smile is restored.

"I'm sorry. I tend to get carried away." She smiles sweetly.

Everyone tries to make light of the situation, but what was left of the good mood has clearly passed, and after another few minutes, Edward and I thank the Trackwells for their invitation and make our way to the elevator.

Once we're back home and in bed, we cuddle into each other, whispering tender words, kissing and touching softly.

"That was weird," I murmur after a few minutes. Edward's hand is covering my belly, my head on his chest.

"I know," he replies softly. "I'm sorry. I think I get what you meant about her being strange." He kisses my brow. "Let's forget about it, okay?"

"Yes…" I'm really sleepy, but I've also been terribly horny lately, and my hand is already making its way into Edward's pajama pants. He sighs when he feels my hand wrap around him, and moments later, we're naked once more.

"I told you I wanted to continue our fuckfest," I whisper into his ear and Edward moans happily.

**ooOoOoOoOoOooo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading, everyone!**

**I am planning to post a little Christmas story, starting on Tuesday. Reviewers will get a teaser for it.**

**Have a great weekend!**


	17. I've Got You Under my Skin

**A/N:**

**Did you all have a wonderful Christmas?**

**Thank you to my brilliant beta dellaterra, who always manages to find time for my stories. **

**Any remaining mistakes are mine.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 17: **I've Got You Under My Skin**

"Are you ready to take a look at your baby?" Katie asks, and Edward and I nod, beaming at her. He's holding my hand as if it were a life rope, and I think that Edward is actually more nervous than I am as we stare at the ultrasound monitor.

At first, I can't make anything out of the black and white mess, but Katie points out the baby's head and legs and I finally can see what she means.

"Look at that," she says. "He or she is sucking its thumb!"

"Oh my God…" Tears spring to my eyes.

Edward's smile is otherworldly, the happiest I have ever seen. And then, Kate switches on the sound, and the hectic heartbeat of our baby fills the room. Edward moves closer to me and kisses my temple, his thumb wiping the tears off my cheeks.

Katie explains more stuff, telling us that the baby is now able to swallow and yawn, which brings more tears to my eyes. Edward runs his fingers up and down my arm as his cheek presses against mine.

Everything seems completely surreal, to imagine that this oddly-shaped tiny thing on the monitor is our baby, growing inside me, even though I'm only showing a little bit. And, apart from the receding nausea and tiredness, I might not be pregnant at all.

Katie prints a few copies of the ultrasound for us, and we leave her office happy and relieved that everything is going well. It's also great to know that I've reached the twelve-week mark, and we'll finally be able to tell our families.

It's the second week of March, and the idea that there will be a little human being with us at the end of summer is scary, and exciting. Edward swings our hands to and fro between us as we enjoy the pale sunshine, which has finally melted away the last remnants of snow. Our little world is perfect: Our baby is healthy, I'm feeling better and tomorrow, we'll tell the news to our loved ones. Edward, who was positive that Katie would give us good news, invited everybody for brunch. We will give Dad and Sue a call beforehand so they don't feel left out.

Edward stops abruptly, pulling me close. His green eyes are sparkling.

"I love you," he tells me, softly kissing my lips. "You and our little pea."

"And we love you." Our lips meet again, and it's like cotton candy, sweet and fluffy and light.

"Mmm," Edward sighs against my temple. "I don't want to let go of you… But I need to get back to work…"

"I know," I murmur, slightly tickling the hair at the back of his neck. "I'm just glad that you were able to take this morning off so you could come with me."

"I'll call you later, okay?" Edward puts one last firm kiss on my lips before he hails a cab for me.

Once home, I busy myself with making lists, both of names and of things we are going to need for the baby. I guess I didn't even realize how tense I was about the twelve-week mark. I didn't allow myself to make real plans up to now.

I'm somewhat back to my old energy level, and I can't wait until I'm into my second trimester. Everyone tells me that things will be different, with sickness and fatigue vanishing and being replaced by that happy "mommy" glow.

I can't wait to tell everyone tomorrow, and finally make official what Edward and I have known for six weeks. Well, James and Victoria know it too, but I try not to dwell on that right now. Actually, though, there are two others who already know that I'm going to have a

baby: Cornelius and Laurent.

Laurent and I met last week. I was already feeling bad because I hadn't told him. He was very excited because he had gotten me an audition for the part of Tracy Lord in _The Philadelphia_ _Story_, which would be starring New York stage icon Pete van Orton. With a heavy heart, strangled voice and flushed cheeks, I faced my agent and told him that I was pregnant. He freaked out because I hadn't told him earlier, I started crying – damned hormones – and he ultimately hugged me and congratulated me. It was then that I knew that I needed to fill in Cornelius as soon as possible, so I called him the next day.

His reaction surprised me. He's a granddad of two, and he tells me that he's happy for me before he even mentions the play, which I will have to leave early. "That's what an understudy is for, Bella," he said. "It might even do Jane good to get into it before the European tour. I'll be sad to see you leave, but the most important thing is that you have a healthy baby."

I was amazed and even more convinced that Cornelius Clapp is a truly gracious and wonderful man.

The afternoon passes slowly and peacefully. I talk with Seth on the phone and eat an apple with slices of salami. He makes me laugh about silly stuff, and it feels good. I walk into the spare room upstairs and try to imagine how we will decorate it, since it will be the nursery. I don't want it pink or blue, no matter what the baby's sex is going to be. I'm thinking white and pale yellow, and maybe something with ducklings.

I take a shower, and once more, feel surprised as I touch my little baby bump. It might not be visible to others yet, but I feel my stomach grow steadily. There's a tiny human being inside me, as incredible as that may be. I used to think that it would be like you had an alien or something growing inside you, but it's nothing like that.

I feel at ease, relaxed and in my own bubble, like when you've just had great sex, and are still very mellow and blissed out. In short, on a hormone high.

Massaging lotion into my skin after the shower, I think of Edward, wondering how his day is going, and I'm shocked by how suddenly and totally I want him. I think about his fingers, and his tongue as he pleased me last night, and I touch my breasts and imagine my hands are Edward's. It works for a moment and I sigh joyously – until Cedric begins to scratch on the bathroom door.

I check the time. It's only five, so I have two hours until I need to be at the theater. I put Cedric out of the bedroom and quickly slip under the sheets. I bury my nose in Edward's pillow, his scent making me tingle all over.

_God, I want him so badly. Now._

He said that in all probability he'd be doing paperwork in his office this afternoon, didn't he?

I grab the phone from the nightstand on Edward's side and desperately press the button that, hopefully, will connect us. I'm hot and hungry for him.

"Hey, baby," Edward greets me cheerfully. "How are you?"

"Are you alone?" I ask thickly.

"Yes… um… Are you okay?"

"Can you… Can you lock the door?"

"Bella? What's the matter?"

"Can you?"

"Uh, sure."

I can hear him get up and lock the door.

"What is it, love?"

"Sit back down," I murmur hoarsely, "and open your pants."

"Bella?" His breath catches.

"Are you doing it?"

"Um… uh… Yeah. Okay…" He sighs. "What… What are you doing, baby?"

"I'm in our bed, naked. I'm touching my breasts… I want you. I want you so badly…"

"Do you? Tell me."

"I want to touch your hard cock, Edward."

There's a small silence before he responds.

"I want to suck your nipples in my mouth," he rasps. "And I want to touch your sweet pussy… Are you, Bella? Are you touching yourself for me?"

"Oh… Yes…"

"I want to kiss you and lick you until you're groaning my name."

"Edward…"

As I'm pleasing myself, I realize that I am already close.

"I want to take you in my mouth," I moan. "I want to taste you, all sweet and salty and tangy… I want to suck you… Hard."

"Bella…" It's urgent and desperate.

"Are you stroking your cock? Your big, beautiful cock, Edward?"

"Ung… Uh-huh."

"I want to taste you, and when you come, I want to swallow everything you give me."

"Be – oh… Oh. Ugh…"

I can tell from the sounds he's making that he's coming, and that idea is so erotic that it drives me over the edge as well, and I shudder as a warm, orgasmic wave overwhelms me.

"Oh..." I sigh. "That was…"

"Yeah," Edward murmurs breathlessly. "It was."

"I love you."

"I love you too, and I can't wait to see you tonight. My beautiful, naughty Isabella…"

**EDWARD**

_This woman is driving me crazy._

I was having a perfectly boring afternoon at my office when she called and surprised me with a phone-sex quickie. Now I'm having real trouble concentrating on what I'm doing. Just after six, I head out and I'm very glad that I don't need to work tomorrow. I stop for groceries on my way home, getting everything I'm going to need for our brunch I also buy a bouquet of pink and white Gerbera daisies, a bag of salted microwave popcorn, which Bella has been practically inhaling lately, and copies of _Pregnancy & Newborn_ as well as _Parenting_.

Cedric greets me with a pitiful meow, pretending that Bella forgot to feed him earlier. He's constantly seeking our attention, perhaps because he already senses that our minds are on another small being these days. He rubs his face against my legs and follows me into the kitchen, where he uses his nose to push his bowl across the floor.

"No, buddy," I tell him. "That's not working. You and I are far too old for such games." Bending down, I ruffle his fur and he closes his eyes and purrs like a little lawnmower.

I pour myself a glass of Barolo and choose Chopin to accompany my preparations for brunch. I'm making a quiche first.

Cedric keeps jumping on the counter, trying to partake as I stir eggs and cream cheese. After his fifth try, I give in and put a chunk of cheese in his bowl.

"But don't tell the missus," I advise the cat, who blissfully munches away.

While the quiche is in the oven, I sauté bell peppers, eggplant and mushrooms for a plate of antipasti. I bake muffins and raisin bread, and I'm surprised when I hear Bella in the hall. Checking the time, I realize that it's already after eleven.

"Hi darling." She stands in the door, looking so sexy and beautiful in a short blue velvet dress that shows off her shapely legs.

"Hello, love." I can feel how my whole body reacts to her presence. She steps close to me, laughing softly as she wipes some flour off my nose. Our lips meet in a soft kiss, and there is that familiar flutter in my heart. Bella smells wonderful, like roses and cold cream, and my heartbeat increases when our tongues meet.

"Mmm," she sighs after several minutes of languid kisses. "You taste good. Like red wine…"

"Just so that you can get your share," I chuckle, pulling her lower lip between mine.

"Very thoughtful of you…"

I can hear the smile in her voice.

"How was the show?" My hands travel down her back until they are resting on her ass. I give it a light squeeze.

"Great," she murmurs as my lips kiss a path to her neck. I want to fly away on her scent – it's pure Bella.

"Edward…" She moans softly, my lips pulling at her tender flesh. Giving Bella pleasure is the greatest gift ever, and since her fatigue has decreased, our physical relationship has returned to how it used to be, but even more intense, if possible.

Her body, becoming rounder, has never been so erotic. She's so soft and warm, the very essence of womanliness. I love the tiny bump of her stomach that only she and I know holds our baby. I love touching and kissing it. I love her breasts, which weren't small in the first place, but now are growing so it's hard to keep my hands off them.

"Baby," I whisper against her neck. "I love you…"

I lift her up and sit her on the kitchen island. Our kisses are heated and breathless, our hands roaming each other's body. I brush up her short dress and my fingers travel higher on her thighs until they are touching her through her hot panties. Bella moans with pleasure, pressing herself into my palm.

"Good?" I ask huskily, increasing pressure.

"Ohh… Yess…"

She whimpers as I pull my hand away, but only to hook my fingers into the waistband of her tights and panties, making her lift her butt before I slowly pull them down her legs. I kiss every inch of skin that I reveal while Bella shudders and sighs. She softly cries out when I reach her sweet center, putting little kisses on her.

Her smell is maddeningly sensual and I need to taste her. She flinches as if hit by an electric jolt when she feels my tongue, her hands tangling in my hair. I lick and suck and taste and smell and it's so good to hear her moan my name and to feel her tremble when I enter her with my fingers. So hot. So wet. I'm dizzy from the sensory overload.

"Edward…" Her grip tightens. "Oh… Ah… ahhh… Oh… ohhh…"

She's meeting my fingers' thrusts and I suck her clit into my mouth, which finally pushes her over the edge, a sound between a cry and a yelp escaping her as she constricts and her climax overwhelms her.

I put a gentle kiss on her when she's come down from her high, and pull her from the counter, lifting her in my arms. She's totally relaxed, her body sagging as if she were a rag doll.

"Hi," she smiles as we look at each other. She wraps her legs around my waist.

"Hi," I grin as I walk toward the hallway and up the stairs.

"That was incredible…"

She's still blissed out, her eyes hooded and her cheeks glowing.

"Was?" I say, pretending to be insulted, kicking the bedroom door open with my toe. "You don't think that I'm finished with you, Mrs. Cullen, do you?"

Her excited giggles are the best sound in the world.

**=====oOo=====**

Alice's eyes have been on me since the moment she and Jasper came through our front door an hour ago. I cannot help but feel that she already senses what we are going to tell them today due to her uncanny gift of seeing things. Or maybe it's because we've always been so very close.

We're sitting around the table and everybody is in good spirits, eating and drinking, the sounds of Duke Ellington in the background. The midday sun is beaming in through the large windows, surprisingly warm and bright for March.

Mom and Dad brought a big basket of muffins, the second of which Bella is eating right now. Emmett has Anna on his lap. At almost two, she's more curious than ever and wants to touch everything.

Seeing Bella interact with the little girl earlier reduced my insides to mush. I cannot wait to see her like this, all tender and careful and warm-hearted with our own baby. For some reason, I'm still convinced that it is going to be a girl, though Bella sometimes says that she'd love to see a little boy with my hair and eyes. I didn't know that pregnancy hormones were infectious. An article I read the other day suggested that, indeed, the hormones in expectant fathers change as well. As long as I'm not adopting my wife's new habit of eating salted popcorn with apples and salami, it's okay I guess.

Lily is talking about her school play with Bella, while Seth, Collin and Rose discuss the upcoming wedding. Bella is to my right, our hands intertwined in her lap. I'm talking to Jasper, but I can still feel Alice's gaze upon us. I guess it's time.

I give Bella a sideways look and raise an eyebrow. Understanding immediately, she smiles and nods slightly. For a second, my heart wants to fly out of my chest.

This is real.

I clink a spoon against my glass and clear my throat. Bella's thumb caresses my palm.

We spoke about it in the morning, as we were cuddling and kissing in bed. She insisted I tell the news. She knows me too well. She knows that I am bursting with pride.

"We have an announcement to make," I say, and all eyes are on me.

Mom bites her lip and I guess she senses what's coming. Alice is ready to squeal, clearly aware of what our news is going to be.

"Bella," I look at her and for a second, there is no one else. Just us, her dark eyes all I can see.

"Bella and I are going to have a baby," I say.

And all hell breaks loose.

Everybody hugs and kisses us, congratulations mixing with questions. Mom has tears in her eyes as she kisses my cheek, whispering, "Oh, Edward, this is wonderful…" Emmett slaps my back so hard I'm coughing. Collin is already discussing baby names with a teary-eyed Seth. Alice cries, "I knew it! I knew it! Didn't I say so, Jazzy?"

Rose wraps her arms around me, and whispers in a voice so low only I can hear. "I know how much this means to you, little brother."

And then, she digs through her purse and hands Alice a fifty-dollar bill.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading and all the support you've been giving me since I started this story. Each and every review means a lot to me!**


	18. A Picture of Me Without You

**A/N:**

**Dear readers,**

**I am sorry for all the confusion I caused over the past week. I accidentally deleted chapters and had to get them back into the right order, which was more difficult than I first thought it would be. Thank you for bearing with me.**

**Thanks go to my wonderful, incredible and incredibly patient beta dellaterra, who always takes the time to work through my stuff.**

**Any remaining mistakes or errors are my responsibility.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 18: **A Picture of Me Without You **

**BELLA**

I'm sitting on our bed on a Thursday afternoon, crying. It's been five days since I last saw my husband. Well, I saw him, but then he was asleep. He also had two night shifts, and slept through the day afterward.

I know I'm childish, wallowing in self-pity, but I just miss Edward so much. We've seen far too little of each other for many weeks. He loves his work, and I respect that, but I resent that it takes him away from me so much. Things would be different of course, if I didn't perform every night.

After discussing the subject both with Katie and Dr. Banner, and also with Cornelius, we agreed that I would perform until the end of April. Luckily my costumes aren't tight fitting, but there will still have changes to made one day soon. I still haven't told the other actors, partly because I don't want Jane to know. I'm sure she'd do everything she could to take my part as soon as possible.

I blow my nose and try to calm down, I know that I am over-emotional and hormonal. Burying my face in Edward's pillow, I inhale his scent and continue crying, wanting and missing him with every fiber of my being. I've grown accustomed to sharing everything with him. It's the small things I miss the most, like telling him about the funny-looking dog with a red raincoat I saw on the subway, or taking a shower with him, or the way his nose crinkles when he smiles.

Unfortunately, my friends aren't exactly available right now. Alice and Jasper are in Paris, where she's watching fashion shows and meeting other designers. Seth is occupied with his wedding whenever he's not working, calling every few days to ask me random questions about colors and cakes. Or perhaps the colors of cakes.

My crying has receded, and I get up and splash my face with cold water. I walk downstairs and fix myself a bowl of salted popcorn and sit at the breakfast table in the kitchen, where I read one of the pregnancy books Edward constantly brings into the house. My thoughts drift though, as they often do lately, and I look out the window. The trees are gradually beginning to grow little leaves.

I wonder what it will be like five months from now, with a tiny person around. I can't really imagine it yet. I'm also scared as hell, which Katie tells me is normal. Well, I guess so. I put one hand on my belly. I already love my little bump.

"Hey little pea," I murmur. "Are you good in there? We can't wait to meet you…"

I don't even feel silly as I talk to my tummy. I just wish Edward were here.

**=====oOo=====**

Stepping out into the pouring rain a few days later, I leave the subway, hurrying so I won't be late for the dance rehearsal. Tia sent everyone an email that informed us there would be regular rehearsals from now on. Alec had seen a couple of shows and had been "distressed" about the quality of our dancing. I'm not exactly excited about this and frankly consider it sheer harassment. I'm not in a very good mood, what with persistent heartburn torturing me since last night.

Felix, Jane and Marcus are already there when I enter the rehearsal room in leggings and a loose-fitting t-shirt. Everyone says hello and we start our warm-up, after which Alec asks us to perform the first dance. I know we've been a little slack as far as precision is concerned, so it actually will do us good to have Alec look over our work. He's as bitchy and sharp-tongued as always, and rolls his eyes when, after only twenty minutes, I announce that I need to use the bathroom.

When I return, Marcus and Felix are in front of the mirror, practicing a position. Alec and Jane have their backs to me, but I can hear Jane whisper something like "… gained at least eight pounds!"

I know she's talking about me, but I don't say anything, even though I badly want to tell her that I'm pregnant, not fat.

We continue our rehearsal and Alec almost seems satisfied when we finish. I take a shower and go to my dressing room, where I eat a banana. I check my phone, but Edward has neither sent a message nor called, which is unusual. I try not to brood about it.

The show that evening is brilliant. There are several moments when I'm just completely happy to be a part of this production, playing this part. Doing comedy is hard, but very rewarding, with the audience instantly showing their joy, which mostly urges me on to outdo myself.

There's a small moment when I'm waiting in the wings to go back on, when I think about the fact that my baby is always there on the stage with me, and it makes me sentimental. Maybe he or she will want to become and actor as well, having been there at such an early date. I smile like a loony for the rest of the show, and the six curtain calls only enhance my blissful state.

Later that night, when I exit the stage door, things get even better: Edward is there, waiting for me, looking sexy in jeans and an old soft leather jacket. It has stopped raining, and the streets glistening in the golden lights from the lamps.

"Hey baby." He smiles crookedly.

"Edward!"

I practically leap into his arms, and he pulls me into him with a big relieved sigh and buries his face in my hair. I cling to him, my whole body relaxing at being close to him again.

"God, I missed you," he whispers. "I missed you so fucking much. You were fantastic."

His familiar scent is both exciting and soothing as he kisses my eyelids, my nose, my chin, his light stubble wonderfully scratchy.

"Edward…." My fingers entangle in the hair at the back of his neck as his lips meet mine, very tender and loving.

We both moan softly when his tongue brushes over my lips, and I open them, my heart rate picking up as the kiss becomes more passionate. I run my hands inside his jacket, feeling Edward's strong, warm back through his shirt. It feels as if I'm complete again, the sensation of having him near relieving me totally.

A low whistle startles us apart. It's Felix, leaving the stage door with Jane. He grins broadly, once more reminding me of Emmett.

"Hey, you two, keep it PG-13 on the streets, okay?"

Jane giggles almost good-naturedly, and we all wish each other a good night.

"So… Home?" Edward murmurs, his eyes almost black in the dim light.

"Yes," I say. "Home."

**EDWARD**

The alarm goes off at six after only four hours of sleep and I hit it to make it stop beeping. I snuggle back around Bella. She's so warm and soft, and she sighs happily in her sleep when I kiss her neck. She's only half-awake, breathing evenly. I close my eyes for another minute and am hit by flashbacks from last night.

_Belle writhing underneath me, moaning as I bury myself in her warmth, her nails digging into my back._

_Her breasts, full and round, bouncing as she moves on top of me, her dark curls splayed over her shoulders._

_Her pink – _

Beep! Beep! Beep!

The alarm yanks me out of my fantasies and I put one last kiss on Bella's shoulder before I leave the bed and shuffle into the bathroom. I think back to last night while I am in the shower. Seeing Bella on stage is a sheer pleasure. I believe she was born to be an actress. Considering that she can be rather shy and introverted, this might seem contradictory, but I believe that these characteristics make her the great understander of people she is. And then, of course, she has a great talent for comedy.

I haven't told Bella that I met this choreographer guy, Alec, during the intermission. We talked a little, and I can clearly see why Bella dislikes him. He was bitching about everything and everyone, and I could well imagine him being the despot Bella described to me. She certainly cried enough tears over him.

We talked about the fact that they were having dance rehearsals once a week, and I had this slave-driver image of him in my mind, so I said something to him, and I know that Bella won't like it at all – which is the reason I haven't told her yet.

We were speaking about the physical strain of doing a show like this six times a week, and I slipped, saying something like, "Well, don't stress her out too much; she's carrying precious cargo."

I don't even know if I'm going to tell Bella at all. She doesn't want the other members of the cast to know about her pregnancy yet, and in a way I can understand that she doesn't want people to treat her differently. Which doesn't mean that I wouldn't be immensely glad if she left the play rather sooner rather than later. I hope this doesn't make me a chauvinistic asshole. I'm just concerned. She's tired all the time, and the play _is _very demanding. There is a part of me that would like to wrap her in cotton wool until our baby is here.

I kiss Bella's forehead before I leave the bedroom, and she mumbles my name.

**=====oOo=====**

I miss Bella so much every night when I return to our empty apartment. Well, not really empty, since Cedric always greets me enthusiastically, but still… I wish I could cook us dinner, watch some silly TV shows with her – just the small things that make everyday life brighter.

Four more weeks, I tell myself. Four more weeks and she will leave the play.

Cedric meows as he follows me into the kitchen.

"Yeah," I tell him. "She'll be home in," I check my watch. "Two hours."

The cat bumps my shin with his thick little head and I realize he just wants his dinner.

"Here buddy." I serve him a bowl and remember that the litter box has to be cleaned, so I do that and also start a load of laundry. Once finished, I make myself a sandwich and read one of the pregnancy books while eating. I'm tired, but I'm determined to stay up until Bella comes home. Our night of passion is already four days away, and we've seen very little of each other since.

I settle on the sofa with my book and the latest edition of a medical journal, which has an article by Carlisle in it. Obviously, neurology isn't my field, but I still can see the brilliance of his thoughts. I know I should call him and congratulate him, but right now, I'm way too tired to deal with my father. He'll question me about my career and whether I took his advice and made that call to Dr. So-and-So in Boston to strengthen relations between Tufts Medical Center and Lenox Hill. It's the way he has built his own career – apart from his genius, of course. Networking, attending conferences and social functions, maintaining his contacts to further his career.

Up to a point, I do it too, but I don't even want to get to a place in my career where I'm like Carlisle, hardly interacting with patients anymore. It's the reason I went into this profession in the first place.

Sighing, I put down the journal and do something I've been sadly neglecting for months.

I sit down at my piano and play.

A sense of peace washes over me as the first tunes fill the room. My heart opens and I can relax. I have missed this, the outlet it provides, the sheer bliss I feel when I'm playing. It's nothing special, just a Chopin prelude that leads into random melodies that seem to flow from my fingers of their own volition.

Time flies, and I don't even hear the front door, so I'm surprised when Bella comes into the room, listening silently as she leans against the doorframe while I finish my potpourri.

"Hi," she smiles.

"Hey, baby." I stretch out my arms for her. "Come here." I pull her into my lap and kiss her. "Was the show okay?" I put my hand on Bella's stomach, which always makes her happy.

"Yeah, it was good." She yawns. "Sorry, I'm really tired" She puts her head on my shoulder. "That was beautiful. What were you playing?"

"Nothing special," I shrug. "Just fooling around."

"Fooling around, huh? Well, you could have made a career out of fooling around_."_

She kisses me softly and I can feel her smile against my lips when I brush my fingers over her stomach.

"How's the little pea?" I ask.

"Good, I think. Right now, it wants a banana and some popcorn."

"With root beer?" I chuckle.

"Absolutely."

I fetch her what she craves and we settle on the sofa. Massaging her feet after she's eaten, I notice how pale Bella is. She always is, but right now, her skin seems almost translucent.

"You look exhausted, little lamb."

"I am."

"You are taking your supplements, aren't you?"

"Yes, Dr. Cullen." She smiles indulgently, then groans when my fingers increase pressure on the ball of her right foot.

" Good?" I ask.

"So good…"

We're silent for a while until I finish her massage. Once again, Bella yawns, stretching her arms up over her head, displaying a small sliver of skin on her stomach. Her breasts look delicious in that position, and I tell her so.

"You're a pig." She laughs and moves the foot that's not in my hands to my crotch.

"Am I?"

"Uh-huh…" She wriggles her toes like the little devil she is while smiling angelically.

We've always had plenty of sex, but lately, she's practically insatiable. Before I know what's happening, Bella is straddling me and we're kissing feverishly. She feels so perfect, her new curves literally taking my breath away. She's grinding against me, her hair creating a curtain around our faces as she hovers above me.

"Mmm…" I gently bite her lower lip when I feel her fingers at the fly of my jeans. She dexterously slides her hand into my boxer briefs and wraps her fingers around me. I moan.

"You like that, huh?" she whispers seductively. She pumps me slowly and, feeling my immediate response, licks over my ear. "Yeah, you like that…"

And that's when my phone rings. It's the ringtone from work.

I knew there was a chance it might happen, but it was so minimal that I was hoping it just wouldn't.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck."

Bella's hand stills. She knows that tone as well.

"Doesn't seem likely now." She pulls her hand out of my underwear and watches me answer the phone while I rebutton my pants.

"I'm so sorry love…" I mouth.

As expected, it's Victoria. There seem to be complications with a woman who gave birth last night.

"I'll be there in fifteen," I say, disconnecting the call and turning back to Bella.

"I'm so sorry." I kiss her shoulder, but she just shakes her head. I can tell that she's trying hard not to cry. She's already getting up. "I'll call you a cab."

"Bella – " I try to grab her wrist, willing her to look at me, but she's still shaking her head as she leaves the room.

**BELLA**

Isn't this supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life? The "honeymoon of pregnancy" where my partner pampers me all the time and I have that otherworldly smile on my face?

Well, all I can say is that my feet and back hurt after a Saturday with two shows. I have terrible heartburn and the only thing that would stay down today was bananas. I haven't seen Edward since he had to leave last night. He sent a message when he returned home, but I had already left for the matinee, and I usually stay in my dressing room between performances. It wouldn't make much sense to go home, because I'd have to leave again after an hour, so I usually just have a snack and take a nap or read a book.

Edward sends another message, telling me not to wait up for him.

So now I'm cranky and sullen in addition to the hurting feet and back, the heartburn and the nausea. I'm sitting up in bed, crying.

_Is this what it's going to be like when the baby is here?_

I also can't stop thinking about this scene in which I have to dance with two other girls, one of them Jane. Each and every time, Jane makes it a contest, needing to prove that she's the better dancer, which of course makes me feel that I have to measure up.

I know that she's younger and skinnier, and I sometimes feel clumsy and chubby in comparison. The changes in my body make me feel off balance, and it often seems like the baby needs all my energy so it can grow. I'm wiped out after each show, let alone two like today.

Cedric is asleep by my feet, his whiskers twitching as he dreams of a successful mouse-hunt.

All of a sudden, I feel seriously lonely.

I have a strange dream that night.

_I'm making my way through the hospital floors to Edward's office. The door is wide open when I reach it, and I can hear Felix singing inside. It's one of our duets, and he is singing it with Jane. The room is empty but for an operating table on which Edward is laying. He's naked, looking happy, smiling at me. His belly is very round, like a pregnant belly, which looks funny even in my dream because of the hair on it. Someone by his head speaks and I'm frightened, asking Edward what is happening. He just keeps smiling, and the person next to him steps out of the shadows. I can't see the face, but it seems to me that it's a woman. All I can see is a red halo around her head. Before I realize it, she is slicing the skin of Edward's stomach open with a knife, but it doesn't appear to be hurting him, and there's no blood._

"_Take it out," he says._

"_No, I can't."_

_He reaches into his stomach and hands me a tiny baby, much smaller than a newborn would be. It's wearing little scrubs and has fair hair. When it opens its eyes and they are blue, I realize that it's Carlisle._

I scream and wake up with a jolt.

I'm bathed in sweat, breathing heavily. And I need to pee.

When I return from the bathroom, Edward has switched on the bedside lamp. He looks sleepy and adorably ruffled.

"You okay?" he murmurs.

"Yes, I… I just had a really nasty dream…" I slip back under the covers and gladly let him pull me close. "Peeing. Always making me pee, the little pea."

Edward chuckles softly and kisses my hair. "Sure you're okay? You're really hot."

"Mmm-hmm. Just hold me, okay?"

"Okay," he whispers, and turns off the light. Relaxing into the security of his arms, I go back to sleep, and this time, the only thing I dream about is cheesecake.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading. You'd make me very happy if you submitted a review.**

**I wish all of you a happy and healthy 2012! See you next year!**

**xoxo**

**harperpitt**


	19. What is That Tune?

**A/N:**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**No idea what I'd do without dellaterra's help… Thank you so much!**

**Any remaining errors are mine.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 19: **What is That Tune?**

**BELLA**

The next day, Sunday, I wake before Edward, which is a rare occurrence, but since he worked until three a.m., it is not surprising. He's lying on his stomach, his face turned in my direction, sleeping peacefully. I love to watch him sleep. He looks so sweet and boyish with his bed head and his lips slightly pouty. The morning sun puts a ginger shine on his wild hair. I kiss his shoulder, lingering for a moment to enjoy the scent of his warm skin, and then finally get up.

By the time I'm downstairs in the kitchen, I'm dressed in yoga pants and one of the funny t-shirts that Emmett likes to give Edward. This one says _Instant cardiologist – Just add coffee._ I'm mighty hungry – and so, as usual, is Cedric. Luckily, my nausea has almost vanished and the smell of cat food doesn't make me gag anymore. For the first time in weeks, I don't crave a banana or popcorn, so I raid the cabinets and the fridge for something that might strike me as yummy. I remember my dream _ –_ the one about cheesecake _–_ and my mouth waters.

_Is it difficult to make cheesecake?_

I'm almost shocked at the thought, my culinary experiences mostly having ended in disaster. Which is the reason I don't cook. And certainly don't bake.

On the other hand, I'll be a mom soon, so I guess I'd better learn.

"All right, little pea," I say, lightly stroking my belly. It's getting rounder with each day, and I really wonder how much longer I'll be able to act as if nothing's going on.

_Well, Jane and Alec already think I'm fat._

I browse through one of Edward's cookbooks in search of a cheesecake recipe. The one that says "easy and delicious" is the one for me, and I start to collect my ingredients. Once the radio is on and I'm humming along with Elvis Costello, I begin to work. I blend and stir, mix and measure, and by the time the thing is in the oven, I have consumed twelve tablespoons of cream cheese, the kitchen is a mess, and Cedric is licking up the bits of cream I dropped on the floor.

My favorite giggle resounds from the door.

"What are you doing, love?" Edward smiles and rubs the back of his neck, looking incredibly sexy in his pajama pants.

"I'm baking cheesecake," I inform him grandly.

"Oh you are, are you?" He grins and crosses the distance between us. "Cheesecake, huh?" He puts his arms around my waist and plants his hands on my buttcheeks.

"Yes."

"And did aliens land and vandalize my pristine kitchen in the process?" He chuckles, and I know by the glint in his eye that he's just being silly, but within seconds, tears are pricking at my eyes and my lower lip is trembling.

"Bella! Oh, baby…" Edward looks horrified as he pulls me closer. "I'm sorry…" He kisses my nose while I sniffle and shed some childish tears. "Shh… I love that you made a cake. Everybody who cooks or bakes makes a mess, love."

"I'm sorry," I mumble, referring to both my childish tears and the state of the kitchen. Edward loves his kitchen.

"Shh…" He kisses my cheeks, hooking his finger under my chin to make me look at him. "Nothing to be sorry for." His deep green eyes that I know so well calm me a little. They show nothing but pure, tender love.

My tears slowly recede and I bury my face in Edward's chest. He kisses the top of my head and I can feel his chuckle as he eyes the state of the kitchen.

"You might make an art show of this. _Isabella Swan,_ _Revolutionary Caketress_."

This time, we're both laughing. It's sweet how Edward always refers to me by my maiden name where my career is concerned, even if it's only part of a joke.

It feels so good to be in his arms. Good to press my wet cheek against his bare chest. He smells wonderful. Like amber and vanilla. Like home. I close my eyes and relax, only now realizing how tense I am most of the time. Edward rubs my back, and I sigh happily.

"I love you…" I murmur into his chest. I always feel secure when I'm wrapped in his warmth and strength.

"And I love you," he whispers back. His stubble scratches over my neck as he plants small kisses on my skin. Moments later, he lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me back to our bedroom.

**EDWARD**

The following weeks pass by so quickly that I can hardly keep up with all the changes Bella is going through every single day. Her stomach is getting rounder and her moods can change so quickly that I never know what to expect when I see her.

The fact that we see too little of each other still bothers me nonstop, and I find myself pondering how to find a solution, as if it might happen magically, like some revelation brought by destiny. Only that doesn't happen of course.

Everyday life swallows us up as we each follow our own schedule. I've grown used to my wife crawling into bed when I'm already asleep, since more often than not, I am wiped out after a sixteen- or eighteen-hour day. Bella is just as exhausted, if not more so, from the physical demands that both the play and the pregnancy are putting on her body.

Time is passing too quickly, and we're spending too much of it apart. What's happening right before my eyes – my wife, pregnant with our son or daughter – is everything I ever wanted and I wish I'd be able to spend more time with Bella, only I can't see any way to make that happen. It will be better once Bella stops working, I guess, which won't be soon enough as far as I'm concerned. If I could, I'd wrap her in cotton wool, but I know better than to express those sentiments to her, or to any of the other female members of my family, for that matter.

I constantly wonder how things are going to be once the baby is here. I'm planning to take time off during the first few weeks, but after that?

Hell, what about now? I know, I can see clearly, that Bella is under too much pressure, seventeen weeks pregnant and performing six times a week. It's not as if she's just standing on that stage and reciting a few lines. No, she's doing hard, physical work, and in addition to that, I can tell that this Alec character and his sister Jane are putting additional pressure on her, constantly making Bella feel that she needs to prove her worth. Deep down, she still is that insecure girl.

Right now, Sunday night, I'm making her peanut butter cookies. Her own baking adventure from three weeks ago went okay, even though her cheesecake was a bit mushy. I had two pieces anyway, which put a huge grin on her face.

The phone rings and I quickly wash my hands.

"Hello, you little fucker!" a well-known voice cackles.

"Uncle Aro! Wow, so good to hear from you! Where have you been all this time?"

"Paris," he replies. "I'm sorry I never called. I was there with my girl, Didi."

"Still Didi, huh?" I chuckle.

"Yes. Can you believe it? She's it for me."

"Good to hear, _mon oncle_. Will we ever have the pleasure of meeting her?"

Aro coughs for a few seconds, which reminds me once more that I'm glad I stopped smoking altogether the second we learned that Bella was pregnant. Which makes me realize that Aro doesn't know about that yet.

"Absolutely," he says, once he's able to talk again. "Actually, that's why I'm calling. We'll be heading back to the States in a couple of months or so, and I want all of you to come and visit us at the beach house."

"All of us?" I frown. "Meaning?"

"Everyone. You and Bella, your sisters, Carlisle…"

For a second, I am speechless.

"Edward? Are you still there?"

"That's unusual, Aro."

"Oh, I have my reasons," he replies.

"We'll be there, of course. Just say when."

"Will do. So…" His tone changes again, becoming lighter once more. "Tell me, what are you and that hot wife of yours up to?"

Immediately, a smile spreads over my face.

"Actually, Bella's pregnant," I say.

"Oh, I knew you'd knock her up rather sooner rather than later," he comments wryly. "Congratulations, boysie."

"Thanks."

"When's it due?"

"September."

"Still quite a while to go," he mutters absent-mindedly.

"Yeah, I'm really glad about that. There's so much we need to do preparation-wise…"

This is, of course, a very un-Aro-like subject, and we wrap up our conversation after I've promised him that we'll be there when he and Didi come to the beach house in the Hamptons, I call my parents' house after we've said good-bye. Mom is overjoyed to hear my voice, and we talk and giggle for over an hour. I may be going on forty, but I'm the first to admit that I'm a mama's boy.

Mom asks about Bella, and I tell her that I am worried.

"Pregnant women shouldn't be flying across stages… You saw the play, Mom. And she's not sleeping well… I don't know."

"But she's okay, isn't she? Physically, I mean?"

"Yes. Yes, she is."

"Do you have a hunch yet about the baby's sex?"

"Seriously?"

"Oh, come on." Mom laughs softly.

"I'm sure it's a girl," I admit. "We'll have another sonogram in ten days."

"Oh, Edward," she sighs. "You're going to have a beautiful and healthy baby. What's bothering you? Do you really believe that Bella is overdoing it?"

"Well, yes, I sometimes do. You know her. It's not just physically, but she's such a sensitive person. She always gets wound up over things. And she's tired, and…"

"Edward, darling," my mother says. "I am sure that most things you worry about are perfectly normal. You're very sweet, wanting to protect her, but you need to trust her too. I'm sure she wouldn't continue to do the play if she really felt overwhelmed by the work."

"You're probably right." I sigh, feeling stupid. "So," I say, changing the subject, "has Aro called you yet?"

"Yes, and he sounded so mysterious. Your father has been brooding in his den for the past hour."

"Oh, God," I groan.

I will never understand the dynamics of my father and uncle's relationship.

We talk a little longer, and I feel light and calm when we say good-bye.

I play with Cedric for a while, throwing his toy fish into the hallway, which makes him leap and run like crazy. He always looks a little clumsy because he's so big – our ginger companion weighs thirteen pounds – but he does seem to be having fun.

I try to stay awake for Bella, but realize that I won't make it. I put her cookies on a plate and prop up a note against it before I drag my tired bones to the shower. I don't even bother to put on my pajamas, falling into bed with a towel wrapped around my waist.

I am woken from deep, heavenly sleep by Bella, who is tossing and turning next to me. She makes what must be her twenty-third trip to the bathroom, and I doze off again.

And wake again. Bella is sort of grunting, and I am immediately awake.

"Baby? Are you okay?"

I bend over her. From what I can see in the dim moonlight coming through a gap in the curtains, her hair is a wild mess and she looks exhausted.

"Yes… I'm just so hot… And I have a headache…"

"Oh dear…" I kiss her forehead. "Should I get you a cold compress? Or half a Tylenol?"

"No," she sighs. "The poor baby has to grapple with too many meds as it is. I'll be okay." She sighs again, but deeply. "Can you just… hold me?"

Never have I moved faster, wrapping her in my arms until there isn't an inch between us.

=====oOo=====

I grumble when the alarm goes off, and Bella snuggles into my back as I hit the Holy Slumber Button.

I hate that I have to work today, on Monday, her day off. I couldn't help it, but hopefully, I'll be able to leave in the afternoon. Bella has another dance rehearsal and mentioned something about meeting my sister for lunch. I myself haven't seen Alice in weeks.

Why the heck did I set the alarm this early? Oh yeah, I planned to go for a run. Mmm, right now, I think that another kind of physical exertion might be just as beneficial. Bella's hand is wandering lower on my stomach, teasing me everywhere but where I desperately want her to touch me. I sigh, my heartbeat increasing as she kisses my shoulder blade, then bites, then licks.

"Edward…"

She hooks her leg over mine and I grab it, stroking her silky thigh. At last, she wraps her fingers around me, which makes me groan aloud.

Bella bites my shoulder again.

"Edward…"

Her fingers work their magic on me, squeezing and stroking and…

_Oh… so good._

I turn around in Bella's arms, and the sight of her, warm and sleepy and horny, makes me groan again. It takes mere seconds until I have thrown her sleep shirt into some corner of the room. Our kisses are frantic as my hands roam her soft body. I move my fingers over her little bump – our baby – and lower, reaching my destination.

So warm. So wet.

"Ungh…"

_Yeah, I get really eloquent at times like this._

"Ngh… Ahh…"

_My wife too._

And then, I'm inside her, and I'm in heaven.

She wraps her legs around my thighs and we kiss wetly, without any restraint, murmuring, babbling, all hot breaths, teeth, lips, tongues, while I'm slowly moving in and out of her. She's drawing me in, welcoming me, hot and soft, enclosing and completing me.

"Edward… Edward…"

She is panting, digging her nails into my back, devouring me. I love it, I love her, and I love to see her come apart. Her cheeks and neck are flushed, and her beautiful breasts are too, bobbing with each of my moves.

Carefully, I lick over her nipple, which causes a deep moan. I suck lightly, and Bella cries out with pleasure.

"Yes… Oh, yes, yes, yes… Oh, Edward… Oh God… Ohhh… _Ohhh_…"

She whimpers, her legs gripping me tighter. I can feel the tingle, driving myself into her, still holding back.

Bella has her eyes closed as her climax ripples through her body, her utterances swallowed up by a deep moan. She's trembling, her face divinely beautiful as she is overwhelmed by pleasure.

I swear I can see stars when I come a second later, sweet relief washing over me as I spill myself into her.

We're a breathless, sweaty mess.

Bella's smile is my favorite one, I think.

"Freshly fucked," I whisper, kissing her luscious lips.

"Yes," she grins. "So are you."

"You bet." I kiss her once more, still trying to catch my breath.

Two hours later, I'm at the hospital, sitting in a conference room with Demetri and Ben and six other doctors. We are discussing the latest budget cuts and how we can still ensure the best treatment for each of our patients. This is the side of my job that I absolutely loathe. We are talking about people's health here, people's lives, so how can that be a matter of cash?

During a break, I text Bella, noticing that I need to charge my phone.

_Hello my love. My two loves, actually. Boring day. Are you with Ali yet? What do you want for dinner tonight?_

A minute later, my phone beeps in response.

_**You.**_

Stifling a groan, I text back.

_I was thinking along the lines of pasta or meat?_

Another minute passes.

_**Man-meat.**_

_You're impossible._

_**I love you. Still rehearsing.**_

_Love you more. Meat it is…_

_**Nom-nom.**_

My day passes slowly. The conference ends around noon and I stop by the cafeteria to grab a sandwich.

"Edward!"

I was just leaving to get back to my office, but of course, I turn around.

"Victoria, hi. Good to see you."

"How are you doing?" she asks with a bright smile. "I thought you had the day off."

For a second I wonder why my work schedule should be of any interest to her.

"I do, but we had that conference today."

"Just the boys, huh?"

I don't really get her tone. Is it meant to be humorous or cynical?

"It was terribly boring," I say.

"What was it about?" Her blue eyes fixate on me.

"The usual," I say, running a hand through my hair. "Money."

"How's Bella? I haven't seen her in a long time."

"She's good." I smile, because the thought of Bella and our baby always makes me smile.

"You know, you two are always welcome to call me or drop by…"

"Uh… Thanks."

She looks at me for a few more moments, then abruptly says, "Okay, Edward, see you later."

With that, she turns on her heel and leaves.

I look after her and shake my head. I respect Victoria greatly as a doctor, but as a person, I sometimes think she's odd.

Well, maybe I was wearing the wrong color today, or she didn't agree with my lunch choice. She likes to lecture people on food, and has told me some of her interesting opinions. Potatoes, for instance, make you stupid, and cheese comes from the devil's own hands.

Once I'm back in my office, sitting down in front of my computer, I start to work, but I frequently catch myself zoning out. I look out the window and dream ahead. I see Bella with a tiny baby in her arms, her smile huge and angelic. I see myself with an infant, bottle feeding as he or she stares up at me from dark eyes. Bella and I with a toddler holding our hands as we walk across a lawn.

The office phone rings and startles me out of my reverie.

"Yes?"

"Edward!" It's my sister's panicked voice, and I instantly sit up. "What's the matter with your cell? I've been trying to reach you for twenty minutes!"

Shit. I forgot to charge it. Taking a look, my suspicion is confirmed: It's dead.

"Alice? What –"

"Edward, it's Bella. We were shopping and she said she had a pain in her stomach, and she fainted, and –"

"Alice," I can hear Bella protest. "I feel better now."

"Where are you?"

"We're in a cab," Alice tells me, sounding scared. "We're on our way to see Bella's doctor. Please come, Edward. I'm really worried!"

"I'm coming, Ali. I'm on my way."

I hang up without waiting for her response, grab my keys, and rush out of the office.

I don't think I've ever been so frightened in my life.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**No Cullen babies were harmed during the writing of this chapter, so please don't worry too much. **

**Please tell me what you think!**


	20. A Lady Needs a Rest

**A/N:**

**Thank you, dellaterra, for your support and wisdom and humor. Less than a year ago, I was desperately looking for a beta, and then I found you – or rather, we found each other. I am honored to be working with you, and can never thank you enough.  
><strong>

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 20: **A Lady Needs a Rest**

**BELLA**

My day started just fine.

After Edward and I had great wake-up sex, I lazily stayed in bed for another hour and dozed. I had my hand on my belly the entire time.

I finally got up at eight and was at the theater an hour later, dressing in my usual outfit of sweats and a large tee. Felix, Jane and Marcus were already there and we started to warm up.

Alec came in fifteen minutes ago, and making my life miserable seems to be his sole interest today. He and Jane are exchanging looks again, and I know what they're thinking: She's untalented and fat.

I'd been thinking that Jane and I were getting along better over the past few weeks, but she has returned to her old bitchy self. Right now, she's giving my baggy shirt a pitiful once-over.

The first two dances are okay, but they're okay. However, dancing will never be my strongest point, and the fact that my back is hurting doesn't exactly help. Time and again, Alec corrects my moves, my posture, my expression, rolling his eyes each time.

"Bella. I've told you a billion times that you need to put your leg on his shoulder and _arch _your back. God, is this so difficult? Here, Jane will show you how it's done."

I sigh. Maybe I should just tell them. She's going to take my part in a couple of weeks anyway. She'll be ecstatic. But I don't say anything, feeling that it would come across as making excuses for my imperfection, so I just give it another go. Things work out okay – until Alec announces a few changes to the original choreography. The old version is lame, he tells us.

"I just want to freshen it up," he says. "You know?" Looking at me, he smiles coldly.

Groaning inwardly, I smile back.

"Sure."

Alec explains the changes and I struggle through ninety minutes of Charleston, tap dancing, and various lifting figures. I can tell that Alec is pleased by every mistake I make, and I cannot help the suspicion that this is a set-up between him and Jane. They _want _me to fail so they can report me back to Cornelius and have me kicked out.

What they don't know is that I'm leaving anyway, and that Cornelius has my back.

I double my efforts and grit my teeth as I kick my legs. At the end of our session, I am red-faced and drenched with sweat, feeling slightly wobbly on my legs.

Jane snickers.

I just shake my head and walk back to the changing rooms. I cry a bit while I'm in the shower, which is a depressing room with creaky pipes and a window that faces the wall of another building. My tears, along with the sweat, vanish down the drain as I wash my body, subconsciously cradling my belly.

Back in the changing room, I towel off and put on my bra and panties. Alice and I have a date for lunch, and she wants to go shopping for maternity wear afterward. I'm actually looking forward to it, since most of my pants don't fit any longer, and I'm also tired of wearing Edward's t-shirts.

I'm massaging lotion into my skin when the door opens and Jane struts inside, still in her tight black leotard. I suppose she was hanging back with her brother, planning my downfall.

"Oh. My. God."

She stares at me with huge eyes, frozen. For a second, I worry that I've put on my panties inside out or something but then I realize that she's staring at my abdomen.

"Fuck. You're not fat. You're pregnant!"

Her hand flies to her mouth, and she looks genuinely shocked. Horrified, almost.

It's at that moment that I have finally had enough of this charade. I slip into my grey woolen dress and shrug.

"Yeah. Busted." I pull up the zipper. "I was going to tell you guys one of these days. You'll be taking over for me sooner than you were expecting."

Jane keeps staring at me with that petrified expression. Then, suddenly, she turns and leaves the room.

_What the fuck?_

I sigh and sit down on one of the wooden benches. I'm exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and I bury my face in my hands for a moment. Maybe it's good that the cat's out of the bag now. I guess that by tomorrow night, everyone will know. I would have liked to tell them in person, especially Felix, but I still feel relieved at having to hide no longer.

I pull on my tights and slip into my boots and coat. Grabbing my bag, I type a message for Alice, telling her that I'm almost on my way to meet her at Pedro's Mulino_. _

I can hear agitated voices once I exit the changing room. They are coming from my right, from the direction of the rehearsal room. It's Jane and Alec, obviously in an argument. I don't want to eavesdrop, of course, but then, it would take superhuman strength to not listen for a second.

"You _knew _this?" she hisses. "Are you insane, Alec?" You _knew _she was pregnant and you still want me to drive her over the edge?"

"I thought it's what you wanted," he whisper-screams.

"Yes, but I certainly don't want to be responsible if anything happens to her or her baby! If I'd known –"

Their voices are getting more subdued, so I guess they are walking away from the door of the rehearsal room.

I swallow as I stand in the empty hallway. Now that was interesting. How does Alec know that I am pregnant? And, wait, he was planning to "drive me over the edge"? How sick is that?

I'm terribly confused as I make my way to the subway, and I am developing a headache. It's crowded, and there's a lingering smell of cheap perfume from the woman next to me. The nausea may have gone, but smells still bother me greatly. I try not to breathe too deeply, but that makes me dizzy. I'm glad when I get out, hurrying up the stairs and looking forward to seeing Alice. I'm still confused and upset about the conversation I overheard. I know that I need to talk to Cornelius about it. And Edward. He's going to freak out. So maybe I shouldn't tell him. Or should I?

My ponderings take a backseat the moment I enter the pretty little restaurant, where Alice is already sitting in a booth by the window, waving excitedly when she sees me.

"Bella! Sweetie, it's been _ages_!"

She pulls me into a fierce hug. For someone so lithe and small, she sure is strong. Her liveliness and energy lift my spirits immediately.

"Ali!" I kiss her cheek. "So good to see you."

"You look fantastic, Bella. Here, let me look at you!" She gives me the once-over, her eyes twinkling. "Whoa, Mommy! You're definitely showing. How far along are you now?"

We sit down and I put my coat over my chair, catching sight of myself in one of the mirrors that decorate the walls. She's right. My little bump is more than obvious. I was silly to believe I could hide it much longer.

"Almost eighteen weeks," I reply. "My stomach is literally growing every day."

"And do you feel good? I must say you have that special glow."

"Do I?" I smile. Alice is too sweet, looking every bit the child-woman she is. She's wearing a red blouse with a large bow at the neck, her spiky black hair framing her face. She's going to be forty-one in a few weeks, but if I were judging from her youthful behavior and her exuberance, I'd say she wasn't a day over twenty.

The server comes and I order a large orange juice and a _panino con salame._ My baby loves salami; that much seems clear.

"So," Alice says, sipping her water. "How long do you think you'll be able to perform your acrobatics on stage?"

I sigh. It's typically Alice, straightforward and to the point.

"Actually, I was busted today," I say, and proceed to tell her the whole story, complete with what I overheard earlier.

"Oh my God, Bella, but that's awful! You need to, I don't know, report them! What terrible people! Does Edward know?"

I shake my head. "It only happened an hour ago. Edward does know that Alec and Jane have been difficult, but I don't want to put him under more pressure than he already is."

"I'm sure he would want to know about this. Besides, your health and the baby's are more important than… well, anything else!"

"Nothing happened, Ali," I assure her. "Jane is in the know and I'm going to tell everybody tomorrow. I'd only be in the play for a few more weeks, anyway."

"Hmm." I can tell that Alice isn't satisfied, her small sharp features tense. "Promise me to be careful, okay?"

"Of course, Alice. I'm really being careful!"

The waiter arrives with our lunch, and while Alice picks at her salad, I tuck into my sandwich like a starving woman.

"Wow, Bella," Alice laughs warmly. "You do eat for two!

"Shorry," I mumble through a delicious mouthful of bread, meat and sauce. "It'sh just so yummy."

"You have mayonnaise on your chin," Alice retorts drily.

While I wipe it away with my napkin, Alice considers me.

"What? Did I get some in my hair as well?"

"What did you mean, Bella, about not wanting to put Edward under more pressure? What's going on with him?"

"Just his job." I shrug. "He's always working. You know Edward. He doesn't take things lightly, and the new responsibility, being head of his department… Like I said, he's always working." I shrug once more, trying not to sound too miserable.

"Well, how will he manage once the baby's there?" Alice frowns.

"Exactly," I whisper, and for a moment, we're both silent.

Alice extends her arm across the table and puts her small, cool hand on mine.

"Sometimes," I say softly, "I don't even know what he needs to prove. Or to whom."

"Oh, shit," Alice murmurs. She gives my hand a gentle squeeze. "I don't know why he still has this insane urge to prove himself to Dad."

"I don't understand it," I say.

"I think it started when Edward got so close to Aro. Dad somehow resented that, thinking that Aro was a bad role model or something. But you know, I believe they only became so close in the first place because Aro has always been so encouraging with Edward. I think Edward was just fighting to have this sort of approval from Dad…"

The waiter comes to remove our plates and asks if we want coffee. Alice orders an espresso.

"How are things between you and Jasper?" I ask, partly because I want to change the gloomy topic.

Alice frowns for a second.

"Better, I think. We did have some arguments and I still resent his editor because she keeps clinging to him, but we had a wonderful time when Jazzy came to Paris with me, and he really made it a point to take time off and concentrate on us. We're okay. I mean, it's not like he's cheating on me. Maybe…" Alice bites her lip and gets silent.

"What? What is it, Ali?"

"I was going to say, maybe if we'd had kids… But I don't think that's the point, is it?"

"I don't know. Is it?"

"I've never wanted children," Alice confesses. "Not even when Rose had her babies. Now that you're pregnant, I've caught myself thinking about it every now and then."

"Oh, Alice…" I don't know what to say.

"I guess it's just because I'm closer to Edward than to Rose," Alice says. She doesn't seem distressed, just a bit wistful. "Anyway, I suppose it's better this way. Just imagine a little mini-Alice, driving all of you nuts!"

"I just want you to be happy, Alice," I say softly. "And so does Edward."

"I am, Bella. And do you know what would make me even happier?"

"What's that?" I ask, stealing the little cookie that came with her espresso.

"A shopping trip for Mommy dresses with you."

"Okay, Miss Fashion. Let me just take a trip to the bathroom, then I'm all yours."

I feel a little dizzy when I get up, and I'm also rather hot, but I've gotten used to the fact that my body has become a little oven. I put my arms under the cold water after I've left the stall. It feels good, and actually cools me down a little. I look at my face in the mirror.

Alice is right, there is a certain glow. Or maybe it's just that my cheeks are so rosy. I wonder what it's going to be like in three more months, when I'll be much more pregnant. It's only April now, and I'm hot all the time, which doesn't make me look forward to New York in August. I hold a towel under the cool water and put it on the back of my neck. It feels gorgeous.

Alice is already in her chic little jacket when I join her. It's black, with a collar made of white feathers. She, of course, can pull it off.

"Come on, Mommy." She slips her arm through mine and we step into the mild sun.

Once again, I feel giddy, and the brightness of the light hurts my eyes. Alice hails a cab, and fifteen minutes later, we're at a luxurious maternity store. Alice is flitting to and fro, chatting with the saleswomen, examining dresses and urging me to try on her choices. This is the part I hate about clothes shopping – trying the stuff on, and especially on a day like this, when I'm hot and cranky.

"Oooh," Alice squeals as she sees me exit the changing room in jersey dress number six. It's blue and has a pretty white belt that ties in a little bow under my breasts.

"It's nice," I agree.

A searing pain cramps my back for a second, and I gasp. It's gone as quickly as it came, but Alice, being Alice, notices immediately.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I murmur, taking a deep breath and sitting down.

"Are you sure? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"I'm okay… I just need to sit for a moment."

Like so many times before, I recognize the beginnings of a panic attack.

_Breathe, Bella, breathe._

Alice hovers silently by my side, patting my shoulder.

"Should I call Edward?"

"No. I think I'm better now."

The pain in my back is dull.

"You're really pale," Alice murmurs. "I guess we should just pay for your stuff and get you home, what do you think?"

"Yeah," I smile. "Maybe I've overdone it. The rehearsal this morning was a real bummer. I'm tired." I kiss Alice's cheek. "But thank you. Now I have a lovely collection."

"For the next few weeks anyway," Alice says with a raised eyebrow. She also pulls up the left corner of her mouth into a crooked smile that reminds me of Edward.

"Okay," I say. "Just let me get out of this and then we can leave."

I get up to walk back to the changing section but once again, I'm dizzy.

Only this time, I feel as if I were on a swaying ship. My legs are like rubber, and as I try to catch hold of a garment rail, my vision turns black.

=====oOo=====

**EDWARD**

Taking my own car was a damn fucking stupid decision. Traffic has been hell, and now it's completely impossible to find a parking space.

Okay, I'll just park the fucking thing anywhere now, I don't care how many tickets I get. Let them take the whole fucking car. I don't care.

Slamming the door closed behind me, I run half a block until I reach the building where Katie's practice is located. I know that the elevator won't come any sooner if I press the button again and again. I still do it.

_God, I am so scared._

_I am so fucking scared._

The elevator comes and I tap my fingers against the door.

_Please, God, let her be okay. Let the baby be okay. Please, please, please…_

I burst into the office, realizing just now that I'm still in my scrubs.

"Can I help you, sir?" a blonde girl asks from behind the counter.

"Is Bella Cullen already here?"

"Um, yeah, she is –"

"Edward?" Alice stands up from her seat in a corner of the waiting room.

"Alice?"

She's crossing the distance between us, a room filled with pregnant women behind her. They are eying me curiously – a father-to-be in hysterics.

Tears are rolling down Alice's face and it makes my panic much, much greater. She hugs me.

"Edward, Edward, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have dragged her shopping –"

"What's going on?" I'm almost shaking Alice.

"Dr. Cullen?" It's the girl from the reception desk. "You can go in." She gestures to the hallway. "Room five."

I rush down the corridor, my heart hammering. I knock curtly, and open the door the second Katie calls me in.

Bella is lying on an exam table, pressing a pad of cotton to the inside of her elbow. She hates nothing more than having her blood taken.

"Bella!"

She turns her head, a weak smile gracing her pale face. She tries to sit up, but Katie holds her back.

"Stay put for another few minutes."

"Bella." I bend over her and kiss her cheek. "Bella, are you okay? What happened?"

"I'm okay, baby." She runs her fingers through my hair. "It was just a big scare."

I look at Katie, eager for her to confirm Bella's words.

"It's fine, Edward. She's fine. So is the baby."

Only now do I notice that I am clutching Bella's hand like a life rope. She looks so small, so fragile, lying there, pale and vulnerable, her palm protectively spread over her abdomen.

"I fainted," Bella says. "Alice brought me here."

"We're having Bella's blood and urine tested," Katie explains. "I already did an internal exam, and everything is okay. The thing that's worrying me is the blood pressure." She turns back to Bella. "There's a condition called gestational hypertension, which can lead to pre-eclampsia."

I swallow, staring at Bella's doctor with what I'm sure is an expression of horror on my face.

"We'll soon have the results of those tests, and we'll then decide how to further proceed. But, Bella…"

"Katie wants me to stop working immediately," Bella finishes for her.

"Yes," Katie nods. "And I want you to rest, really rest. The symptoms you've been describing might only be caused by stress. I want you to take it easy for the next couple of weeks."

"What symptoms?" I ask, my voice low and raspy.

"Feeling hot and dizzy, and I had a slight headache." Bella squeezes my hand reassuringly, as if she had to comfort me, not the other way around.

I want to scream _I knew it, I knew she was under too much stress, _and I also want to kick myself for not interfering earlier.

"I guess it was all a bit too much," Bella whispers and I can't help the feeling there's something else.

"I'd like to do an ultrasound," Katie says. "Take a seat, Edward."

I sit down on a chair next to Bella. I kiss her temple while Katie rolls over the ultrasound machine.

"Are you okay?" I murmur into Bella's hair, her familiar scent calming me a little. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I'm sorry I scared you. And Alice – she's beside herself…"

"Shh. You heard what Katie said, baby. No more stressing over stuff for you."

"God, I'm letting Cornelius down for the second time," Bella mutters, and a tear escapes her eye. It's been more than three years since Cornelius had to postpone the opening night of his play because Bella had that accident in the subway, but it's typical that she immediately thinks of him.

"No more worrying, okay?" I kiss her.

"Okay," she sniffles.

Katie sits on a roller stool.

"Can you take your dress higher, Bella?"

I help Bella move her dress so her rounded belly is exposed.

Katie spreads gel on Bella's stomach, and Bella sighs worriedly.

"It's going to be okay," I whisper in her ear.

"Now, Mommy and Daddy," Katie says warmly. "Take a look at your little one!"

Three pairs of eyes are glued to the monitor while Katie explains details about the baby's weight and size. I stare at the black-and-white image in front of us, and after a moment, I gasp.

I'm not a sonogram specialist, but I am a doctor, and I'm pretty sure that I see what I see – or rather, that tiny something I fail to see. Grinning widely, I kiss Bella's cheek.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you to everyone who reads, reviews, adds to favorites and alerts, or recommends my story. You all make me very happy. You are always welcome to PM me, or ask questions in your review - I love to read your speculations and suggestions.**

**xoxo**

**harperpitt**


	21. No Show This Evening

**A/N:**

**Thank you to all the lovely ones who reviewed the last chapter!**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**The fantastic delleterra is my beta, which makes me very proud.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 21: **No Show This Evening**

**BELLA**

As Katie moves the transducer over my tummy, Edward gasps, and I'm immediately afraid that something is terribly wrong. When I look at him though, he has the biggest grin on his face.

Addressing Katie, he points to the monitor. "Is it?"

Katie smiles, nodding imperceptibly.

"Do you want to know the sex, Bella? It seems that your husband has already figured it out."

"Ye-es…" I whisper, my voice shaky.

"Would you like to do the honors?" Katie smiles, and Edward's grin becomes impossibly bigger.

He moves closer to me and kisses the side of my mouth.

"I think, my love, that we are having a little girl."

"Oh my God!" Immediately, tears spring to my eyes and my arms fly around Edward's neck.

"Edward…"

"I love you," he whispers into my hair. "I love you. I love you."

Our lips meet in a tender kiss, and Katie discreetly turns away and busies herself. When we manage to part from each other, she smiles at us.

"Congratulations, you two. I printed you a few copies."

Edward helps me wipe the gunk off my belly and takes the pictures that Katie has printed while I readjust my dress.

"Okay, Bella," Katie says, becoming serious once more. "I really want you to stay in bed for a few days, and generally, take it slowly. I'll give you a call once the test results are here."

"What exactly does 'take it slowly' entail?" I ask as I sit up. Edward gently helps me, his hands never letting go of me.

"Avoid stress, rest as much as possible. Maybe take up a hobby, you know?"

A vision of myself doing jigsaw puzzles with little puppy dogs that Edward hangs on the stairwell makes me groan. Edward is actually trying to hide a smirk. It changes to a cute smile when he sees my death glare, and, kissing my temple, he wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"You'll be alright, love."

"A hobby, huh?" I pout.

"Start preparing the nursery," Katie suggests. "Do stuff you won't have time for once the baby's here. Clean out the cabinets, reorganize your wardrobe…"

"Read _Ulysses_. Yeah, I think I get the idea," I sigh. "Anything else?"

"No, just relax, Bella." Katie's blue eyes twinkle good-naturedly.

"Okay," I say. "I'll do my best, Dr. Marshall."

"Good. And call me whenever."

We're all getting up, but I stop, hesitating for a moment. Both Edward and Katie look at me.

"What… what about sex?" I ask, feeling my cheeks warm.

Katie smiles. "Enjoy it," she replies drily. "I always say, if Mommy is happy, so is Baby. No need to worry. Do what feels good for you."

Edward gives my fingers a sweet little squeeze and we say good-bye to Katie.

Alice is pacing in the hallway when we get out, rushing over to us. Her eyes are red.

"Oh God, are you okay? Is the baby okay? Please say you're okay!"

Just then, a tall figure steps out of the waiting room.

"Jasper!"

"I called him, I was going crazy… Bella, I'm so sorry I dragged you along…"

"Ali," Edward draws her into his arms. "Everything is fine. Both Bella and the baby are fine."

"Oh thank God!" Alice reaches out for me and with Jasper, our little group hug is complete.

"And do you know what, Alice?" Edward says. "We found out the baby's sex."

Alice squeals and then steps back, her face filled with awe.

"It's a girl, right? I mean, it would be fabulous if it's a boy… But it's a girl, isn't it?"

Edward and I smile goofily, and nod.

Alice claps her hands a couple of times, and Jasper pulls her in his arms, her back pressed to his front, and kisses his exuberant wife.

"Seems your vision was correct once again, Ma'am…" he says softly.

Two happy couples kiss and hug in the waiting room of Katie Marshall's office.

=====oooOooo=====

An hour later, we are settled on our bed and I rest my head against Edward's chest. His fingers are running up and down my back in a soothing pattern and we smile about the hefty ticket he received for parking in a no-parking zone in front of a high-class beauty parlor.

"Are you okay, love?" Despite the lightness we feel over finding out the sex of our little pea, there's unmistakable worry in his tone and in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry…"

"Baby, this is not your _fault_. There's no need to be sorry."

"Yeah, but…" I swallow. I guess I have to tell him what happened earlier today, even though I know he'll go mental. Edward is like a lion when it comes to protecting his family, and we're talking about his unborn baby here.

So I take a deep breath, and explain to him about the awful rehearsal, my encounter with Jane, and the conversation I overheard. I can feel his body tense during my description, and his fingers stop their gentle journey down my back. When I'm finished, he stays silent.

"Edward?"

I move so I can prop myself up on my elbow and look into his eyes.

Edward's expression is fierce.

"What the fuck is the matter with those people?" he mutters finally. "I mean, what did you ever do to them? Fuck, this Alec character knew that you're pregnant!"

"What makes you say that?"

Edward's expression darkens. "I mentioned something when I met him during intermission the other day."

"_What_?"

"We were making small talk and I said something like_, _'don't stress Bella, she's carrying precious cargo…' or something…"

Edward looks a little guilty.

I swallow. I think I might be sick.

"Have you told Cornelius about any of this yet?" He kisses my nose in a tender, calming motion.

"No. I mean, this only happened this morning, before I met with Alice."

"I see." Kissing my hair, Edward starts to move off the bed.

"What are you… Edward?"

He is merely shaking his head as he collects my phone from my handbag, which I put on an armchair by the window. Behind him, the afternoon sun paints the sky orange and yellow.

"I am calling Cornelius, Bella, because this has to be reported, and I don't want you to do it because you are not supposed to get stressed."

"But… "

"I am going to do this, Bella." He sighs and returns to me, putting a kiss on my lips. He looks distressed. "He needs to know."

The tension of the day suddenly overwhelms me. I'm tired, deadly tired.

"Okay," I murmur. "Please tell Cornelius I'll call him myself tomorrow, okay?"

"Of course I will."

He pulls the blanket over my shoulder and puts another soft kiss on my temple before he leaves the bedroom.

As I'm falling asleep, I imagine a little flutter in my stomach, and, thinking of our little girl, I cover her with my hand.

======oOo======

Katie called this morning and told me that the test results are back, and that everything is all right. I am to avoid stress and to rest, and keep an eye on my blood pressure. Well, Edward has taken it every day since the big scare three days ago. He's been working ever since, and I've been in bed, reading, making phone calls and watching TV.

The reruns are my favorites. I love _Cheers_ and _Seinfeld_ and _Murder She Wrote_. I am pretty sure that my brain is slowly turning to mush.

I had a long phone call with Cornelius yesterday. Edward's recounting of what happened distressed him, and he talked to Jane, who admitted that she had been jealous of me and had wanted to take over my part before the European tour. She also said that she was horrified when she learned that I was pregnant. Despite what happened, she will now play my role – after all, she hadn't done any actual harm. She called me to say she was sorry, but I know she only did it because Cornelius made her. There will always be bitching and intrigues if you're an actor, I guess.

As for Alec, Cornelius fired him right away when he came to know that he had been aware of my pregnancy and had actually tried to drive me toward a breakdown. I don't think he'll be working on Broadway any time soon.

Cornelius was very sweet, telling me how sorry he was to see me go early. He and the rest of the cast sent a humongous flower bouquet, and Cornelius promised to visit soon. In a way, I am relieved to be out of the game. I suppose that Katie is right. It was getting a little too stressful for me, or maybe I take things too much to my heart.

Everyone is being helpful and supportive. Esme came with a baby-name book and a pink onesie. She's delighted that she's having another granddaughter. Seth entertains me with his wedding preparations, and Alice showed me her designs for her new collection. Most of the time though, I hang around and do nothing.

The moment Edward comes back after work is the highlight of my day. He sent a message just now, telling me he'll be home in an hour, and that he's bringing salami pizza.

_Yum._

I'm having a look at the spare room upstairs across from our bedroom. It's going to be the nursery, and I'm trying to imagine how we might furnish it. Esme has already offered her help, but before we can do anything, we'll have to clear out all the junk that's sitting in there. Maybe Seth can help me with that, since I can't do any heavy lifting.

"Yoo-hoo," I hear from downstairs. "Pizza delivery!"

Smiling, I leave the room and take the stairs. Edward is standing at the bottom, holding a pizza box and looking amazing, his hair tousled from the windy night air, a sexy smirk playing around his lips.

"Hey, baby."

"Hey."

He pulls me into his side and greets me with a long and sweet kiss.

"How've you been?"

"Meh," I reply. "I tried to make plans for the nursery, but I don't think I'm very good at that."

"You have great taste."

He pecks my lips with his and walks me to the kitchen, where we sit and feed each other pieces of cheese-covered goodness. Later, we retire to the living room and I lie on the sofa with my head in Edward's lap. His fingers are drawing slow circles on my belly, relaxing me to the point of drowsiness. We're going through the book that Esme brought, but none of the girls' names strikes us as fitting.

"Daphne," Edward suggests. "Or Emma."

"Laura," I say.

"You want to name our child after your favorite _actor_?" Edward teases, gently tickling my hip.

"It's a nice name," I defend my choice.

"But wouldn't you like something that refers to us, to our family?"

"I'm not naming her after my mother," I snort.

"Of course not…" Edward runs his hand lower on the little slope that my belly provides until it's resting between the underside of my stomach and the apex of my thighs. "What about Charlotte, after your dad?" he suggests.

"It would only get shortened to Charlie," I reply. "And don't you think that _your_ dad would be hurt?"

This time, Edward snorts. He opens the book again, holding it so we both can read.

"I'd like an old-fashioned name, I think."

I look up in Edward's face. He looks tired but relaxed, taking off his glasses, strands of hair falling into his eyes. He's wearing a faded black t-shirt. There's a tiny hole at the neck, which is wide and worn, a bit of chest hair peeking out. Lowering his face, he kisses me, and our noses touch. Since my head is in his lap, the kiss is upside down.

"Hi, Spiderman," I murmur.

"Hi…" He chuckles and puts a kiss on my nose. "An old-fashioned name… Okay…"

I turn to my side.

"I didn't think this would be so hard. The poor thing will be stuck with the name we chose all her life…" I sigh. "What if we make a mistake?"

"Bella, baby. We have more than four months…" He runs his fingers up and down my side. His voice is deep and soothing, and I smile dreamily and wrap my arms around his torso. I run my hands under his shirt, and as always, the sensation of his skin makes my heart beat a little faster. I move closer and kiss his bellybutton, his hair tickling my nose.

Edward's hands mirror mine as his fingers sneak beneath my top and softly stroke over my stomach. Slowly, they move higher, until they are teasing my breasts. We play with each other for a time until I get impatient and pull myself up and slide my arms around his neck.

Our lips meet, nibbling and sucking, and, when Edward's tongue caresses mine, I moan softly. His hands are on my ass and mine are pulling at his shirt and it doesn't take me long until I'm straddling his lap. He raises his arms to help me take off his shirt.

God, how I love his body. I love the way his muscles flex under my hands, the way his shoulders are broad and hard, and his neck, and his scruffy jaw line. I kiss his collarbone and his chest, licking and sucking, a tingle of excitement spreading lower from my belly.

"Baby…" Edward kisses the tender spot behind my ear and I shudder. His breath is warm and his lips are soft, teasing me and caressing me. He is deftly opening the buttons of my cardigan, which lands at the other end of the sofa, followed by my pale blue camisole.

He groans deep in his throat when he sees me in my lacy bra, blue with a tiny bow in the middle, displaying my breasts, which keep increasing in size. I'm not always sure how happy I am about that, but Edward is clearly ecstatic.

He rains little kisses on my chest, his rough stubble scratching over my skin, murmuring something about a kid in a candy store, touching me tenderly, impatient fingers unhooking my bra.

"So beautiful… So beautiful…"

His warm, wet tongue makes me whimper as I wrap my arms around his neck, arching my back. He sucks my nipple into his mouth, then nibbles softly, and I grind myself into him, needing some friction. He's hard, so hard, and I moan wantonly, fumbling with the buttons of his jeans, pulling impatiently until I can touch him through the constraints of his boxer briefs.

"I love you." I'm breathing heavily. "I love you… I love to feel you… so hard…"

Gently, Edward moves us around until he's on top of me, pulling my yoga pants off along with my panties, kissing every inch of my legs. I'm panting by the time he is licking over the insides of my thighs. I cry out when I feel his tongue run tortuously slowly over my lips, finishing the motion with a light kiss on my clit.

"Edward… Ohh… Oh, God…"

I look down and the image of his tousled hair between my legs almost drives me over the edge. He spreads my thighs wider apart, humming softly, and enters me with his tongue while his thumb teases my clit. He knows exactly what he's doing and it takes mere moments till I'm falling apart, writhing and moaning and trapping his beautiful face between my thighs as I explode around him.

I need a minute to come down from my high. Edward puts tiny kisses on my belly, chuckling softly.

"Mmm," I whisper. "That was incredible…"

"You're incredible," he murmurs against my skin. "Your taste, your smell…" He slowly moves higher on my body, kissing my ribs, my breasts, my shoulders.

"It feels like I'm so much more sensitive… there… since I got pregnant…"

"Increased blood flow," Edward mumbles, nibbling on my neck.

He is poking my thigh, long and hard, and I move my hand lower until I can wrap my hand around him. Edward groans and bites my neck, shuddering as I start moving my hand.

"God, Bella…"

"Come here…"

I pull him until he moves on top of me. I push his boxers over his hips and hook my toes into them to move them off. He struggles out of them and I can feel him, ready to enter me. The second he does, it's the best feeling in the world. We're complete, connected.

I wrap my legs around his waist and we look at each other. Edward is beautiful, his eyes staring into mine, warm and dark with pleasure. He begins to move and I hold his face in my hands, our hot breaths becoming one.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," I rasp. "I'm… _ohhh…_I'm perfect…"

We kiss slowly, wetly, our lips and bodies conveying everything that words cannot.

Slow, deep thrusts leave me breathless and trembling and crying out for more, and when I come, I cling to Edward, drowning in pleasure. He follows me a second later, groaning deep in his throat as he buries himself inside me, shuddering before he stills.

Both of us are fighting for breath, and we look at each other, sharing more messy kisses.

"I love you," Edward whispers. "I love you."

I kiss him again and close my eyes, holding him in my arms, and feeling completely contented.

I am woken by the evil beeping of the alarm clock on Edward's bedside table. Edward moves behind me, muttering unhappily as he turns it off. He snuggles into my back, kissing my neck, his hand cupping my breast. I have yet to open my eyes, but I know it's still early. Since we fell asleep naked last night after we made love again, I can now very clearly feel Edward's erection pressing against my butt.

I open one eye. It's just after six, and still dark outside.

"Were you going for a run?" I murmur.

"Nah… It's raining…" Edward yawns.

He's right; only now do I notice the sound of pattering rain against the windows.

Edward kisses my bare shoulder and softly brushes his thumb over my nipple, eliciting a very happy sigh from me.

"Running's not good if you get wet…"

"Yeah…" His voice is still gravelly from sleep, and incredibly sexy. His body isn't sleepy at all, and neither is mine. I had no idea that pregnancy made you this horny, but Edward is certainly not complaining. He moves his fingers between my thighs.

"I'd rather get _you _wet I think…" He hisses when he realizes that I am, already, very wet. "God, Bella… You're driving me crazy…"

He presses himself against me and we're breathing in tandem as his fingers do divine things to me. I moan a little, drifting away in Edward's arms.

"Fuck the rain," he whispers.

"Yes…" I move my thigh on top of his to give him a better angle. "Rather fuck me…"

"Ungh…"

He slips into me, holding me close as he rocks in and out. I grab his hand and bury my face in his palm. I love the way he smells, like sex, like us. I lick over his index finger and take it in my mouth, sucking and playing it with my tongue.

"Oh," Edward sighs. "So good…"

He pulls me even closer, moving my body against his. There's no sound but our breathing and moaning and our skin slapping together, and the dull patter of rain. Edward's fingers leave a wet trail from my lips, fondling my breast, tenderly passing over my belly until they reach my clit. I whimper, twitching as I am overwhelmed by pleasure. My orgasm seems to last forever and when Edward comes, grunting as he slams into me, I'm surprised by another climax, which leaves me shaky and breathless.

"Mmm," Edward hums, wrapping his arms around me, panting. "Uh… Phew…"

We slowly descend back to earth and Edward puts little kisses on my neck.

"Good morning," I murmur and turn around in his arms, my head finding its favorite spot underneath his chin.

"Good morning," he chuckles into my hair. He runs his fingers up and down my spine. "I love you."

"I love you," I reply, kissing his salty skin. "How I wish we could stay in bed all day…"

"I know. So do I." He sighs, but I can feel him smile when my little bump touches his stomach. "Good morning, little pea."

We stay like this for another few minutes, but all too soon, Edward needs to get up and go to work. I stay in bed for another couple of hours, then have a shower, followed by breakfast with Cedric. I make a list of things we're going to need for the baby and putter around the house, trying to sort through things in the nursery-to-be, but I don't get far. It's filled with boxes from my old apartment and tons of books from Edward's years in med school, as well as furniture from his old apartment. It's frustrating, and I give up at lunchtime.

The rest of the day passes slowly. By the time Edward gets home after ten, I'm half asleep. He snuggles up to my back, his strong body making me feel so very secure once again.

"Sorry," he whispers. "I meant to be here earlier…"

"Mmm, 's okay…"

He puts his hand on my belly, and a second later, I can tell by his even breathing that he's asleep.

The next few days pass in the same fashion, so that when I receive a phone call from Rose one morning, I am surprised and pleased. She wants to help me clean out the spare room. I suspect Edward behind that, feeling guilty because he's never home, but I am so relieved to have company that I accept gladly. In addition to that, it certainly will be good to get closer to my sister-in-law. She's a mother of three, and I am counting on her advice.

She arrives the next afternoon, looking perfect as always, and, as always, I feel slightly intimidated.

Once we're in the spare room, Rose stands in the middle of it.

"Okay." She pulls her gorgeous blonde curls into a bun. "We'll have three boxes. One for the things you want to keep, one for the stuff you're not sure about, or need to discuss with Edward, and one, or make that two, for the junk you are throwing away."

"Sounds good," I say, though I still wonder where to start.

"This, for instance." Rose holds up a book. "Do you think that Edward still needs this?"

"Um, what is it?" I look up at her from the spot I have taken in front of a cupboard filled with picture frames and a couple of old computers.

"_The Female Body_." Rose chuckles and opens the book. "_Edward Cullen, 1985_," she reads aloud. She rolls her eyes. "Tsk, tsk. My precocious little brother…"

"Oh my God, is it good?" I cross the distance between us and look into the book as she leafs through it. It has a lot of medical drawings of the female anatomy. We both giggle like schoolgirls until Rose suddenly slams the book shut.

"Urgh, I don't even want to know what he did while looking at this…" She looks at me in mock disgust and hands the book over. I have to laugh even more and collapse on the couch by the wall.

"Don't worry, Rose," I giggle, tears coming to my eyes. "We can throw that away. He knows his way around the female body."

"Ouch!" Rose throws a pillow in my direction. "Now I_ really_ need brain bleach!"

We both continue to giggle, and suddenly, I begin to see Rosalie in a different light. I never knew that she had such a dirty sense of humor, which, coupled with her down-to-earth approach, makes the whole enterprise surprisingly easy. We work side by side, me clearing out the cupboard by the window, Rose holding up stuff for me to see, and carrying things to and fro. We're getting a lot of work done, chatting and laughing all the time. Rose makes me sit down frequently, and reminds me to drink enough water, which of course sends me to the bathroom all the time.

We have a simple lunch of sandwiches in the kitchen.

"Have you been talking about names yet?" Rose asks, sipping on a Diet Coke.

"Yes, but it's so difficult. How did you and Emmett do it?"

"I have my ways," Rose grins, "to make him surrender."

I raise one eyebrow and take another bite of my chicken sandwich. Rose doesn't even bat an eyelid when I spread a thick coat of peanut butter on top.

"I see," I smile. "So you're advising me to use sex as a means of getting what I want?"

"I wouldn't go so far as to say you should do it on purpose of course," Rose shrugs, slicing an apple and passing me a few pieces. "Maybe it's because I was so horny each time I was pregnant that Emmett one time put a sign on his dick that said _Out of Order_."

"He didn't!" I cough as I try not to choke on my bite of chicken-peanut-butter-sandwich-and-apple.

"He sure did," Rose laughs.

Cedric jumps on the table and tries to stick his nose into our food. Rose gives him a serious look and lo and behold! My cat hops off the table and leaves the room.

We laugh again, and that's when I feel an odd sensation in my stomach. It's like a flutter, and I think that I must have had too much peanut butter, but it happens again.

_Bubbles in my tummy._

The shock must be showing on my face, and Rose grabs my hand.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"I… I…"

"Bella?"

"I… I think I felt the baby move, Rose."

I put my hand on my belly. Another flutter, though I can't feel it on the outside.

"It's like butterflies, Rose! Do you think it's the baby?"

"Yes, Bella." Rose's smile is warm and huge. She gets up and hugs me. "That's your baby. That's wonderful. Edward will freak out."

And this, of course, is when I burst into tears, because I wish it were Edward with me right now. Rose comforts me sweetly, handing me tissues and rubbing my back, but for the next ten minutes, I am inconsolable.

I want Edward.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**A huge big thank you goes out to those who always take the time to review. You are the ones who make me continue this story. **

**harperpitt**


	22. Nothing to Do But Work

**A/N: **

**Thank you for all the sweet reviews for the last chapter; you guys make me really happy!**

**Thank you to my wonderful beta, dellaterra. You also make me happy!**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 22: **Nothing to Do But Work**

**EDWARD**

I am so tired I can hardly think clearly. We had three major surgeries over the space of twenty hours and I'm wiped out. I went home at two in the morning to catch some sleep, but four hours just isn't enough if it's like that all the time. I need a night with eight hours, just one night, but I don't think it's happening anytime soon. When I got home last night, Bella was asleep on the sofa, the TV softly advertising a blender. She was wrapped into a blanket and Cedric had curled around her feet. They looked so sweet and peaceful. I tried to wake Bella, worried that she might wake up all cramped, but she only muttered something incoherent, so I scooped her in my arms and carried her upstairs to bed, where she promptly fell back asleep, as did I.

She got up with me this morning, though I told her not to, and made coffee while I was in the shower. She looked small and sleepy, leaning against the counter, covering her belly with one hand. I gratefully gulped down the coffee while holding her close, but all too soon I had to leave.

Now I'm sitting in my office, drinking coffee again, and desperately trying to concentrate on the patient's information in front of my burning eyes. A knock on my half-opened door startles me.

"Yes?" I look up.

"Edward! I haven't seen you for ages!"

Victoria stands in front of my desk and smiles.

"Oh, hey. Good to see you. You look good. How was the vacation?"

"Brilliant. The weather was fantastic too. But you know, _you_ look a bit tired, Edward."

She puts her hand on my shoulder, her brow furrowing.

"I am, I guess." I run a hand through my hair.

A woman who is suffering from hypertensive cardiomyopathy and is now developing the first signs of pre-eclampsia is admitted.

I think of Bella, and it feels like a tiny needle in my heart.

I miss her so much.

Sometimes, I just want to throw my lab coat and my stethoscope out he window and leave this hospital and never return.

Only sometimes. I do love my job. But I love my wife more. And I miss her.

Victoria mentions a few more times that I look tired, suggesting that I should take a break, and she resumes the subject when we have lunch together a few hours later in the hospital cafeteria

"I know," I shrug, taking a bite of my sandwich. "But right now, there's no one to cover for me. Anyway, we're going to Seattle in a month. Bella's best friend is getting married."

"Oh, that's great! How is Bella, by the way? She must miss you when you're away all the time."

"Um, yeah."

I'm starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. Victoria tends to behave as if we were friends, which we definitely are not. We're colleagues, friendly acquaintances at the most.

"Well, give her my love. Maybe I could drop by one of these days, in case she feels lonely…"

"Uh…" My beeper goes off. "Oh, sorry." I get up, secretly glad for the escape. "See you, Victoria."

An old gentleman has been admitted to the ER after suffering his second heart attack and we need to perform immediate surgery.

By the time I get home that night, it's after eleven and the apartment is dark and silent. I'm wiped out, but I'm also starving, so I make my way to the kitchen. There's a sheet of paper on the counter, scribbled with Bella's large and girly letters.

_Darling,_

_I hope it's not too late. I made potato soup like you showed me. It doesn't taste quite like yours, but it's edible. There's some in the fridge, in case you're hungry and feeling brave._

_Heading to bed now._

_I love you._

_B._

I smile wistfully. Bella is really trying to learn to cook. I can't wait to taste her soup. Opening the fridge, I locate the container and warm some in the microwave while pouring myself a glass of Chardonnay. I lean against the kitchen island and rake a hand through my hair. My feet hurt, and tomorrow will be just as long a workday. It bugs me. I'm beginning to wonder when I'm ever going to spend some quality time with my wife.

The ding of the microwave makes me jump and I take out the bowl. Sitting down, I try a spoonful. It tastes nice. It's a bit thick, the consistency more like a stew, but it's good. The thought that Bella cooked this warms my heart, and I catch myself grinning like an idiot because I'm so proud of her achievement.

While I eat, I browse through the book that Bella left on the kitchen table, _Every Week of_ _Your Pregnancy._ I go to the chapter covering week 20. Next to the picture of how our baby will be looking by now, a bright pink box catches my interest. _Tips for Dad_, it says. I take a sip of wine and read.

_Dad, you may be worried about the emotional roller coaster that Mom is on, so make sure that you are there for her. She will love a little pampering. Why not take a mini-trip to enjoy some time alone?_

I sigh. If only it were so easy.

_You probably can't wait for the first time you'll be able to feel your little one's movements. Don't worry, it's going to happen soon._

I remember when, about ten days ago, Bella told me that she felt a little flutter – and I wasn't there. She tried to hide it, but I could tell that it made her sad. She has been felt slight movements a couple of times since then, but never when I'm with her.

_This might also be the right time to start planning the nursery, signing up for a birthing class and thinking about a birth plan._

I groan, running the heels of my hands over my face.

Bella has been making plans for the nursery with Mom, and the one who helped her clean out the room was Rose. We talked about birthing classes, but that's all, since I can't guarantee that I'd be free on a regular weekday.

A birth plan? I suppose that Bella has given it some thought, but if she did, she didn't share it with me. Well, when would she have? She never sees me.

I drop my head into my hands.

I'm so tired.

I feel like a complete fuck-up.

Having put my glass and bowl into the dishwasher, I walk upstairs. Bella is asleep, the bedside lamp putting a soft glow on her face. Cedric is sleeping by her feet, blinking when he hears me, staring at me with remorseful amber eyes. He yawns and goes back to sleep.

Bella's breathing is even, her lips slightly pursed. I just look at her, resisting the urge to kiss her. My heart aches and I carefully sit down by her side. Something is off, and taking a closer look, I notice the crumpled tissue in her hand. It's hard to tell in the dim light, but her eyes are slightly blotchy, and her nose is reddish.

She's been crying_._

My stomach is in a knot and I sigh deeply, pulling the blanket over her shoulder.

I put on my pajama pants, brush my teeth and splash my face with water. I apply the anti-wrinkle stuff to my eyes and look at my expression in the mirror. My mouth is in a tight line, and the shadows under my eyes are deep.

I sigh.

Something has to change.

**BELLA**

I wake from a nightmare, sweaty and muddled. The sun shines brightly into the room and the alarm informs me that it's after nine. Turning on my back, I try to recall my dream.

I remember that I was scared. I was in the kitchen of Mike's Honky Tonk and Valentino, the chef, was shouting at me, telling me I was unworthy to be a mother. He had a baby in his arms – my baby – and told me that I wouldn't get her back. I shudder as I remember it, and turn over to bury my face in Edward's pillow. Something feels cool beneath my cheek and I open my eyes. It's a sheet of paper.

_My love,_

_It pains me to leave you, sleeping and looking utterly beautiful. I'm sorry I never seem to be there. I promise to make up for it._

_Thank you for the soup; it was delicious._

_Please look after yourself and our little girl._

_I'll call you during lunch._

_I love you with all my heart._

_Always your_

_Edward._

I cry a little, both about his sweet words, and because his words make me miss him even more.

The day passes slowly, as most of my days do. I answer emails and chat with Seth, who is up to his ears in wedding preparations.

"We tried various cakes the other day, and oh my God, they were _all _so yummy, but we both went for the champagne, marzipan and white chocolate. The champagne," he adds swiftly, "is only for the flavor, so don't worry, you'll be able to have three or four pieces, _mommy_."

"Ha ha," I say and sit down in the middle of our large bed. I have decided to clean out my bedside table why we talk. "Will you have two cute grooms on top?"

"Of course!" Seth gushes. "Now, girlie. Have you found a dress yet?"

"Alice is taking me shopping tomorrow," I say. I pull out the drawer and set it in front of me. Cedric immediately puts his nose inside. I'm glad he stopped sitting in it, throwing things out all the time.

"How is she?" Seth asks.

"I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks, but from what she told me on the phone, she's working a lot."

"But that's good, isn't it?"

"I guess so."

Sometimes, I wish that _I _could go back to work. I've been following doctor's orders for more than two weeks, resting and relaxing. I feel so useless.

"What color are you thinking?"

"Huh?"

"Color, Bells! For your dress! My wedding, remember?"

"Jeez, Sethy. I'm sorry. I'm so scatterbrained these days." While I'm talking, I sort through the drawer. Kleenex, a couple of pens, a crossword, an old notebook…

"Color?"

"Something bluish? Or maybe mauve?"

I find an empty bottle of aspirin and another notebook. There are also a few condoms.

"Maybe mauve?" Seth shrieks. "_Maybe mauve_?"

I hold the phone away from my ear and finally realize that I have groomzilla on my hands.

"Bells, I told you about my bow tie, and my shoes, and the flower in Collin's buttonhole, didn't I?"

"Um, yes?"

I check the date on the condoms, not that we're going to need them anytime soon. That, of course makes me think of sex with Edward, and how it's been too long since we –

"Bells? What's the color I've been talking about?"

"Blue?"

"Yes. Blue. So which color will your dress have?"

"Blue." I hang my head. "They call it pregnancy brain."

Something about this condom seems odd. I peer at the small foil package, half listening to Seth droning on about the flower arrangements or color scheme.

There are bite marks. Tiny bite marks from small, sharp teeth.

He used to sit in those drawers all the time last fall and winter…

I was on antibiotics.

We used condoms.

I still became pregnant.

Okay, that's nonsense. We would have noticed if a condom wrapper had been chewed on like this one…

"Bells? Are you there?"

"Sorry, Sethy. That's great. Listen, I'll send you pictures when Ali and I find something tomorrow, okay?"

"Oh, I like that! Blue, babe. Keep that in mind, okay? Bluuuue!"

"I promise," I laugh. "Look, I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

The second we say good-bye, I'm a woman on a mission.

I crawl over to Edward's side of the bed and open his drawer. It's not like I'm invading his privacy; I have seen the contents lots of times, and they mostly resemble my side. There's aspirin, some herbal sleeping pills, a bottle of lube, a photo of him and me dancing, a pencil and condoms. I take one and examine it closely.

Nothing.

I take a second one.

_Ha!_

Two tiny holes, as if someone had put a thick needle through the foil. Or their claws.

"Cedric?"

He looks up sleepily, one ear moving.

"_You _did this!" I giggle and point to my belly.

Cedric drapes one paw over his eyes, clearly not wanting to be disturbed.

My phone beeps. It's Edward.

_Hey, baby. What are you up to?_

Grinning, I type in my reply.

_**I just found out how I got pregnant.**_

_Aw, I wanted to be the one who explained it to you._

_**Don't think so! Will you be home tonight?**_

_Absofuckinglutely. Gotta go. Love you._

And oh, how I hope he'll be home this evening. I want to tell him about Cedric, and the blue shoes, and the dream about Valentino.

Later that day, I go grocery shopping, having looked up an easy recipe for lemon chicken. Since I don't know when Edward will be home, I prepare everything so I'll just need to fry the chicken. And steam the vegetables. And boil the noodles.

Okay, that sounds a little intimidating, but maybe… if I wear nothing but Edward's apron, he'll help me…

I set the table in the dining room, complete with flowers and candles. I choose music to accompany our meal, going with Chopin, one of Edward's favorites. I take a shower and put on lacy black lingerie and a pretty dress. It's nothing extravagant, but it accentuates my belly and my boobs, so I am sure that Edward will like it. I curl my hair a bit and apply a little mascara to my eyes.

Then I wait.

I sit in the kitchen with a notepad and pen, a glass of root beer and my favorite pregnancy book. I make a list of things we're going to need for the baby, which is, well, everything, since we don't have a single item yet. I feel a bit clueless, making a mental note to ask Rose or Angela for advice. Checking the clock, I realize that it's too late to call either of them since it's…

Shit. It's after nine.

"Looks like Daddy won't be home for dinner," I tell my belly. I am rewarded by a light flutter. It's actually a bit more than the fluttering I've felt up to now. It's like a light tapping from inside that makes my heart beat faster. I caress her, murmuring nonsense.

The phone rings right then. It's Edward, sounding pained.

"I'm so sorry, baby, but I don't think I'll make it. An emergency came in just twenty minutes ago. I'm needed here."

"Sure," I say. I bite my lip.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'll try to be home as soon as I can, okay?"

"Sure." I swallow back my tears.

"Bella…"

"I guess I'm going to bed then." I end the call, and burst into tears immediately.

It's immature I suppose. Millions of other men have to work, and many would be happy to have Edward's job. Still, why does it always have to be like this?

I blow out the candles and switch off the lights, leaving my half-prepared meal as it is. I'm deadly tired all of a sudden, and I don't care what Edward thinks when he comes home. Let him throw the food away. I don't care.

The next day is a wonderful change from my usual routine. Instead of moping around, feeling depressed, I am shopping with Alice – only this time, she makes sure that I get plenty of rest in between shops.

We're sitting on a sofa at Sorel Bliss, a fashionable maternity store, and Alice has the staff carry over dresses, but nothing screams my name.

"Hmm." Alice taps her finger on her chin. As always, she is styled to perfection, wearing a black dress with white polka dots.

"Maybe this?" The guy who introduced himself as Stefan approaches us with a peach-colored nightmare.

"Blue," Alice sighs. "I said blue."

"I just thought, you know, that for a wedding, lighter colors would be –"

"It's a _gay_ wedding. And by the time it happens, this lady will be twice the size she is now. Do you really think she wants to put on a dress that says _huge_ _peachy meringue_?"

"I'm sorry…" Stefan retreats with the dress, and Alice eyes me with that glint in her eye.

"You know, what would you think about me designing your dress?"

"But… but… Do you have the time to do it?"

"Of course! I wouldn't sew it myself, just take the drawings to Miss Weiss, and…" Alice squeals. "Oh, Bella, let's do this!"

An hour later, we are at Alice's studio overlooking the East River. Once she decided to go into fashion design, she rented this spot, which is small but cute, and all Alice.

I'm in my underwear while Alice pulls her measuring tape around my chest and whistles, at which I blush.

"Wow, Bella. You are… voluptuous. Edward must love it."

I blush even harder, which makes Alice giggle.

"Come on, Bella. I've known the guy for almost thirty-nine years. Okay, put your shirt back on."

I do so, along with my comfy cargo pants. I watch a few ships on the river while Alice jots down numbers. Once again, I feel teary.

Damned hormones.

"Bella?"

Alice gently touches my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, it's just…." The first traitor tear falls from my eye, and it's quickly followed by another, and another.

"Bella…"

Alice hugs me, her small body providing comfort, but that only makes me cry more, and it doesn't take long until the sounds escaping my lungs are full-blown sobs.

"Bella… Bella…" Alice strokes my back. "Sweetie, what's the matter? Is the baby okay?"

"Yes," I sob. "Yes, she's okay. It's… it's Edward…."

"Oh, no." Her voice is very gentle. "Did you have a fight?"

"No, no… I'm… He's…"

I can't stop crying, and Alice pulls me to the little couch in the corner. She brushes my hair over my shoulder and hands me a tissue.

"Thanks." I sniffle and blow my nose. "I'm sorry."

"Psht. Nothing to be sorry about. I'm Edward's sister, but I'm also your friend."

"Thank you." I dry my cheeks as the sobbing recedes.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about, really, Edward is constantly working, and I feel awfully alone."

"I thought as much," Alice whispers. "Have you talked to him about this?"

"Well, he knows what it's like for me. He tells me he's sorry every day, but…" I sigh deeply, once again staring at the ships on the grey river. "There isn't much he can do about it. He loves his job, and this is what he's always wanted…"

We're silent for a long, time and Alice strokes my back.

"But is it?" she says all of a sudden, her voice so low I'm not even sure I heard her correctly.

"I don't know," I whisper, a fresh set of tears coming to my eyes. "Edward loves his job…"

"But he loves you more," Alice tells me in a steady voice. "And what about when the baby is here? I know Edward, and I know that this is certainly the last thing he's ever wanted. Seeing his family once a week like, you know…" Her voice becomes softer. "Like my dad did."

We hug each other for another few moments, and the silence is broken only when Alice shakes her head and looks at me.

"Well, I guess you both need to pull your heads out of your asses. Now for the dress…"

She grabs a drawing pad and a pencil and with a few dozen strokes of her expert hand, sketches the design for a beautiful, flowing evening gown.

"Like that?"

I gasp.

"Wow, you're a genius! This is so beautiful…"

"I think it would compliment your figure," Alice grins. "You know, show off those boobies…"

"Alice…" I blush once more.

"I'll have Miss Weiss do a rough cotton model you can try on, and then we'll go for the real thing." Alice smiles that contagious sunny smile of hers. "You'll see, Bella. You'll look amazing."

Twilight embraces the city as I reach home. The air is still warm and everything smells like spring. It makes me smile, or maybe it was Alice's company that lifted my spirits.

When I turn my key in the lock, I expect Cedric to greet me with his usual series of hungry meows, but all's quiet on the kitty front.

Instead, the lights in the hallway are on and I can hear music from the dining room.

_Edward is home?_

I check the clock on the antique chest of drawers from his grandmother – it's just after eight. I put down my keys and purse and kick off my shoes, slowly making my way to the dining room. I can hear Edward bustling in the kitchen as I take in the picture. The table is set much like it was last night. The flowers are different, a humongous bouquet of lilies and pink Gerbera daisies and roses. I touch the soft petals and breathe in the decadent scent.

"Hey, baby."

Edward has appeared from the kitchen and puts the flowers to shame. He looks sexy as hell in black jeans and a black button-down with the sleeves rolled up over his forearms. His feet are bare, his hair is all over the place and there's a crooked smirk on his full lips. He is wiping his hands on a kitchen towel.

His smile is almost shy.

"Hey." I swallow.

He takes a few steps in my direction and gestures at the flowers. "This is the official _I'm sorry_ bouquet."

He steps closer still, until he's directly in front of me and I can feel the warmth of his body.

"Is it?"

"Yes."

Hesitantly, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"The flowers are just a teeny tiny part of the whole _I know I fucked up dinner last night_ _and I swear I'll find a way to make more time for my growing family_ package," he says. His green eyes are deep and vulnerable as he reaches out for me, passing his knuckles over my cheekbone. "Bella… Love…"

Again, tears are streaming down my cheeks as Edward pulls me close and murmurs, over and over again, that he loves me.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N**

**I stole the name Sorel Bliss from Noel Coward's play **_**Hay Fever**_**. Or did I steal? It's a quote so I think that I am just celebrating the Master.**

**Please leave a review and give me a happy weekend. I hope yours will be fantastic!**


	23. A Table for Two

**A/N:**

**Okay, here comes a chapter of pure fluff.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**The fantastic dellaterra is my beta. Can I ever thank her enough? No.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 23: **A Table for Two**

**BELLA**

"I love you," Edward whispers, his warm breath on my ear as he repeats it over and over again. "I'm sorry, baby… So sorry…"

"Edward…"

His stubble scratches over my cheek as we cling to each other.

"I love you too," I murmur. "I love you so much, Edward."

"I know I'm leaving you alone all the time. I'm so sorry…"

He cups my face with his large hands and looks at me with a mixture of love, desperation, and regret. And then he kisses me, hungrily, tenderly, making my heart try to fly out of my chest. His soft lips pull and nibble, his tongue teases mine, and it's the best feeling in the world.

"Come," he murmurs breathlessly, placing another sweet kiss on my mouth. "That part of the package is supposed to come later."

"The package, huh?"

"I can't refrain from taking a good handful of Edward's package at that, and he groans playfully. He kisses me again, his hot tongue stroking over my lips. So sweet.

"Sit down, Mrs. Cullen," he then commands. "Dinner will be served shortly."

He pulls out a chair for me, pecks my cheek with a kiss, and disappears into the adjoining kitchen. I try to relax, wondering what he has planned. The song from the CD player changes. It's a sappy love duet from the Twenties, sounding vaguely familiar. I hum along, until Edward returns, kissing the top of my head before he fills my crystal glass with root beer, which makes me smile. He then proceeds to pour some into his own glass.

"Edward, you can have a glass of wine, I don't mind…"

"Nope." He shakes his head. "This is your dinner, which means no wine. There'll be other good things." He grins. "Trust me." He retreats to the kitchen but returns a few seconds later, carrying two plates.

"Voíla! New York Strip steak with green beans and roasted asparagus."

"Oh my God." My mouth waters immediately. "It looks so good. It _smells_ so good."

Edward sits down and raises his glass.

"To you, my love. I'm sorry I wasn't here for dinner last night." He takes my hand, his thumb stroking over my wrist. "Really, Bella." His eyes crinkle at the sides. "I'm –"

"Edward." I grab his hand and kiss his palm. "You have put a steak under the nose of a hungry, pregnant woman. She needs to eat it!"

Edward smirks. "Yes, ma'am." He's imitating Jasper, adding a salute for emphasis. "Enjoy your steak, ma'am."

I shake my head and kiss his hand once more before I tuck into my steak.

Heaven.

"This is so good…"

"Is it?" He smiles. "Even though it's very well done?"

"It'sh perfect," I reply through a mouthful of beef. "Fantashtic."

Edward nods to himself, chewing thoughtfully. "It's okay, I guess."

For a few moments, we eat in companionable silence, enjoying our dinner. The song changes to Cole Porter's "Ev'rytime We Say Good-Bye." Edward sighs a little.

"I meant what I said just now, Bella. I felt like such a shit when I saw all your dinner preparations this morning, and how you'd set the table. I know I need to do something about this situation. I want to be here once our little girl arrives. For her, and for you. I'm not sure how to find a solution, but I promise you that I will."

Our eyes meet, and I know he's serious about it. Once again, I grab his hand.

"I love you."

"And I love you, little lamb." He strokes over my knuckles until I need my hand again to tuck back into my food. Edward smiles cutely, watching me for a few moments. "So," he continues in a lighter tone, changing the subject. "I thought I might book us into this birthing class Lisa is holding at the hospital on Wednesday nights. It starts after my birthday."

"Um, yeah, that'd be great. But do you think you'd be able to attend regularly?"

"I'll make it happen, love." Again, his face shows a mixture of warmth and regret, but he seems fiercely decided. "Have you considered a birthing plan yet?" he asks, watching me from under long lashes.

My heart clenches. He is so determined to do everything right, and he wants to please everybody – his boss, his dad, me…

"Kate mentioned something like that," I say. "To be honest, I have no clue what such a plan includes." I smile, feeling a bit sheepish, and polish off the last bite of my dinner.

"Maybe… I thought we might do it together." Edward's lips are delectably pouty as he watches me, cocking his head to one side.

"That would actually be wonderful."

I get up and walk around the table until I'm in front of Edward. He rests his head against my belly and I reach out to stroke his hair. He sighs contentedly.

"I love you," Edward whispers into my stomach. "I love you both so much…"

"And we love you."

We stay like that for quite a long time. I massage Edward's scalp and he whispers sweet nothings to our little girl, caressing her and me. I'm happier than I have been in weeks.

"Oh, by the way," Edward looks up at me. "Aro called earlier. He'll be over next month, and wants us to come to the beach house and meet his lady."

"That'll be nice."

"He also told me to say hi, and I am supposed to tell you that he hopes out daughter will have your looks _and _intellect."

I giggle and Edward pulls me into his lap, tickling me for good measure until I'm threatening to wet myself and him.

"Now we don't want that to happen," he chuckles, gently biting my earlobe. "We'd rather get to stage two of the package…"

"The package," I say dreamily, suggestively licking my lips.

Edward growls and takes our empty plates to the kitchen, refusing to let me help. I sit back and relax, looking out the window and absentmindedly stroking over my belly, which is when it happens: Our daughter finally is awake and lets me know with a few gentle taps.

"Edward!" I dart out of my chair and hurry to the kitchen. Edward meets me in the doorway, his eyes wide.

"What? What happened? Are you alright?"

"Sorry," I gasp. "I'm sorry. Everything's okay. I just, I just felt her move."

I grab his hand and place it on my stomach, and Edward's expression changes from fear to surprised delight. We're silent, hardly daring to breathe while we wait for another move. Which, of course, doesn't come.

"I felt her… just now. I wanted you to feel her too…"

I guess I look as devastated as I feel, for Edward pulls me into his arms and kisses my nose.

"I will, baby." He kisses my hair. "I will." He passes his fingertips over my little bump. "What did it feel like?"

I smile. "You're a doctor. You must have felt a baby kick, Edward."

"I did," he says softly. "But I never felt _our_ baby kick."

"It was more like a gently tapping," I explain. "No real kicking, but definitely more than the quickening I felt up to now." I tap his flat, hard stomach with two fingers. "Like that."

"Like that," Edward repeats and bends down to kiss me. "Oh, I love you."

"I love you too," I whisper, wrapping my arms around his torso and slipping my hands into the back pockets of his jeans. I give his butt a little squeeze.

"Don't distract me," he smiles. "There's still dessert before we get to_ that_ part of the package."

"Then hurry," I say. "You're getting me all horny, and I do want my dessert…" With another little squeeze, I let him go, and a couple of minutes later, Edward places a plate of fruit on the table. There are cherries and strawberries and grapes and pineapple, slices of apple and banana, and in the middle, he built a little marshmallow pyramid.

Edward produces a warmer with a pot that contains liquid chocolate.

"Mmm…" My mouth waters as Edward takes the seat next to me.

"You likey?" he grins, and dips a cherry into the pot. Once it's covered in chocolate, he holds it out for me, just a little bit out of reach.

"You want it? Come and get it…"

One second later, I am back in his lap, claiming my prize. We take our time feeding each other, kissing in between. The combination of chocolate and Edward is delicious.

"I think our daughter likes chocolate," I say, licking a bit off Edward's finger.

"Yes? You think she'll be a chocolate girl, like her mom?"

"Mmm-hmm." I place a kiss on Edward's luscious lips, and he responds, sucking and tasting.

My heart is beating faster as our kissing becomes more passionate and our hands begin to roam each other's body. My one hand entangles in Edward's silky hair while the other one slips into the front of his shirt. He feels wonderful, a mix of warm hardness and tickly hair. Hardness also welcomes my hand as it travels lower to his crotch. Edward's nimble fingers are busily making their way under the hem of my short dress, touching my thigh – first the outside, and then the inside. Once or twice, he touches me lightly through my panties.

The pregnancy has made my lady bits a lot more sensitive, or maybe it's just Edward. He has always been able to arouse me with a raise of his eyebrow.

I move until I'm straddling his thighs, grinding myself against his growing erection. Our kisses become more urgent and wet, and I'm unbuttoning Edward's shirt, pushing it down his shoulders as I devour him with my eyes. He's so _beautiful_, his upper body strong and chiseled and perfect. I kiss a line from his shoulder to his nipple, inhaling his familiar, warm scent. It is totally arousing. Edward's fingers slide higher and he pushes my panties aside, groaning as he feels me, hot and wet and ready.

We're kissing and touching ourselves into a blind frenzy, and I'm not quite sure how and when it happens but I'm suddenly sitting in front of Edward on our dining room table, and he's pulling my panties down my legs, kissing my knees and thighs, standing in front of me after he has thrown my underwear somewhere. I open his fly buttons like a maniac, pushing his jeans lower and hooking my fingers into the waistband of his boxer-briefs. I lick my lips as his erection springs free.

Edward, who is breathing just as hard as I am, eyes me as he steps out of his pants.

"You're so beautiful, baby…"

"Come here," I murmur, pulling him with me as I lie back. I whimper joyfully when I feel him, pressing the thick head of his penis inside me. I dig my fingers into his back.

"Bella," he whispers hotly, his eyes locked with mine, dark and deep.

He enters me completely, both of us moaning with relief. I wrap my arms and legs around him. I want to feel every inch of his skin. Nothing, nothing compares to being this close to Edward, connected on every level.

"Feels so good…"

"So good…" he echoes.

Our mouths meet in another needy kiss, and I let myself float away on this intense wave of pleasure. My body welcomes him, again and again, our mouths melting, hot lips and breaths and tongues, low moans filling the room while Ivor Novello keeps crooning from the sound system.

Actually, my back is beginning to hurt from the hard table, and I can tell that Edward is getting a little uncomfortable as well.

"Darling," I pant against his lips.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, but… let's continue this on a softer surface, okay?"

"Fuck, yes."

Edward kisses me and gathers me into his arms, walking us into the next room, where he gingerly sets me down on the sofa.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs.

"Nonsense…"

I finally take off my dress, which leaves me in nothing but a black bra. Edward swallows.

"Come," I murmur, taking his hand and pushing him back into the cushions, straddling him. He watches as I take off the bra, groaning deep in his throat.

"You're… oh my God, you are so sexy. So beautiful…" He kisses first one nipple, then the other.

I can feel his breathing increase again as he continues, licking and kissing and sucking until I'm writhing in pleasure. He's straining against my belly, hard and velvety and deliciously large, and he groans when I wrap my hand around him, guiding him back inside me. We both gasp at the renewed sensation. Edward's hands move to my hips, to my buttocks, and we kiss and look at each other as we move, pushing and pulling until we can't take anymore. My body is tingling and the pressure is getting tighter. When Edward latches his lips to my nipple once more, I'm done, riding out every second of my high, which seems to go on for ever. And then Edward makes that sound, the sound he makes a second before he comes, and he bucks up into me until his expression relaxes into one of total bliss.

I rest my head on Edward's shoulder. We're both covered with sweat, trying to regain our breathing.

"Mmm…" Edward kisses my ear and falls back into the sofa, pulling me with him. I put my head on his chest and close my eyes. I'm exhausted and sated, reveling in our closeness, in the warmth and strength and the raw smell of his sweaty skin. His chest moves evenly and his heartbeat is steady beneath my ear. I wrap my arms closer around his body. I'm home, and the feeling has nothing to do with our house.

My fingers play lazily with the bronze hair on Edward's chest, and Edward's fingers run little circles on my back. He drapes a woolen blanket over our bodies and kisses my brow.

We're perfect.

Okay, except for the stain we're going to leave on the sofa. I don't care.

I'm almost falling asleep when Edward speaks.

"We need to think of a name…" His voice is low and relaxed.

"I know…"

"I was thinking…" He kisses the top of my head. "What do you think about Noelle? You know, because we made her at Christmas…"

"That's so sweet." I kiss his chest.

"Really?"

"Noelle," I repeat. "I like it."

Edward sighs happily and kisses my head.

"I can't wait for her to be with us," he murmurs.

We're silent for a while, breathing quietly and completely relaxed. And that's when I feel her again, a gentle tap from inside.

"Edward!"

I grab his hand and put it on the spot where she knocked.

"Can you feel that?"

We're both very still. And so is the baby.

"No…" Edward sounds a little disappointed.

I kiss his neck and his chin, his light stubble scratching me deliciously.

"Will we still have sex on the dining room table when we're parents?"

Edward chuckles. "I hope so."

We're silent again, and he sighs.

"What? What is it?"

"I meant what I said earlier, Bella. I know I'm away all the time, and I don't want that. I don't want to be that kind of father. It's how I grew up myself, and I…" He pauses, staring at the ceiling. "I want to be there for you, and for our daughter. I've been thinking about that a lot. Maybe… I should cut back."

"But how could you do that, in your position?" I kiss his chest.

"That's something I seriously have to talk about with Demetri. I don't know. There has to be some way."

"You love your work." I place my chin on his shoulder so we can look at each other.

"I do. But I love you more."

"Oh, Edward."

We kiss, tenderly and languidly, our love enwrapping us like a cloak. It's soft and slow, and very sweet.

Later, when we're in bed, Edward sitting up against the headboard with his reading glasses perched on top of his nose, I think again about what he said.

My mom left us when I was only nine, and it certainly made a huge impact on who I am. Despite all the therapy I've had, I still have issues with trusting people and being afraid of abandonment. There still is this underlying notion that I may not be worthy of their love. The damage my mother did will probably never be fully repaired, but things have been much, much better since Edward came into my life.

Edward's history is far less dramatic. You could say that he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Still, he has his own problems - not with his mother, whom he adores, but sometimes with Carlisle, who tends to make Edward feel like a little boy who has to prove himself all over again.

Carlisle was often absent during Edward's youth, and somehow I think that this, in combination with being so close to his mom and sisters, made him into the man he is: sensitive, intuitive, caring and gentle. Which, when added to his total manliness, makes him irresistible.

"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" Edward takes off his glasses and moves closer to me, putting his head on my shoulder.

"I was just thinking about how hard it is to do things right as a parent. You're bound to mess up at some point."

"Mmm." Edward wraps his arms around me. "There's no manual," he murmurs, "but I think if you love your child, if you do your very best…" He groans and rests his face on my breast. "That sounds so superficial." His voice is muffled. "You'll be a wonderful mother, Bella." He kisses his way lower on my body until he has reached my stomach. "You're going to have a wonderful mother, little pea."

I slide my hands into his silky hair and close my eyes.

"And the very best dad as well," I add.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you to everyone who keeps reading and reviewing – you guys make me very happy, taking the time to support my Edward and Bella.**

**I just posted a one-shot for the Age of Edward contest, called _Love is the Best Medicine_. It stars a wounded World War Two Edward, and he would love you to come over and say hello. It's already complete and rated M. You know what that means. The M rating, I mean.**

**Have a great weekend!**

**harperpitt**


	24. To Hell With Everything But Us

**A/N:**

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews! I'm sorry I couldn't thank everyone, but FF wasn't working again.**

**Thank you, dellaterra, for beta'ing another chapter even though you are working so hard on your own beautiful story, _I Can Learn._**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 24: **To Hell With Everything But Us**

**EDWARD **

"Oh man." Ben joins me in the locker room, toweling his hair after the shower. "That was a close call."

"It was," I nod. We just finished six hours of surgery and it's easy to see that he is as exhausted as I am.

My phone beeps and I stop buttoning my jeans to read the message from Bella, replying to my one from five minutes ago.

_Darling, I'm still at Seth's, don't think he'll let me go for another hour or so. Your sister is here too. Love you._

I smile. I know what this means. Over the past few weeks, Seth and Alice have become positively obsessed with the wedding. There are only three more weeks to go, and Seth is constantly calling Bella, asking for her help or her opinion. As long as she doesn't overdo it, I'm happy as long as she is happy.

I've been trying to make more time for her since my wake-up call and our ensuing "I'm sorry" dinner a couple of weeks ago. Naturally, it doesn't always work, but I'm trying. I'm constantly thinking about ways to solve the problem, but I haven't yet come up with much. All I know is that I will not be the kind of father to our little girl who she sees only on weekends. I never wanted that, having grown up with a mostly absent dad myself, so it's rather ironic that I find myself in this position now. And there's no easy solution either. I can't give up my job, nor would I ever want to. Being head of cardiac surgery is what I've wanted for so long, but it's not a part-time job.

I slip into my sneakers.

"Hey, Ben?" I say. "Care for a drink at Tony's?"

"Sure," my friend smiles. "Ang is in Boston with the babies, visiting her mom."

Twenty minutes later we're at the bar across the street. We used to be regulars, but since Ben has a young family, and Bella and I are expecting too, it's been a while. Tony, the owner, greets us like long-lost sons.

"So how are things going with Bella?" Ben inquires once we're sitting in a booth and nursing beers.

"Good," I say. "She's getting rounder every day." I smile, because the thought of my pregnant wife always makes me goofily happy.

"Are you attending a birthing class yet?" Ben's eyes twinkle behind thick glasses.

"No, we're starting after my birthday," I say. "At least I hope I'll be able to make time." I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's just… I wish this job wouldn't eat me up the way it does. I don't know how I'm supposed to balance things out once the baby is with us, you know? I barely see Bella now."

"Oh shit," Ben says sympathetically. "If you ever need someone to cover for you…"

"Thanks," I say, giving him a heartfelt smile. "But you've got your own family."

"Sure, but I'm still working, right?"

"What do you mean?" I frown.

"Well, I sometimes feel that Demetri resents me because I turned the job down before the decision was even made. They'd have chosen you anyway, but the fact that I said no pissed him off, and he lets me feel it every now and again."

"I'm sure that's not true," I protest, gesturing to Tony for another round.

Ben shrugs. "It's okay. I get to see Ang and Conner and Lee more than I would otherwise. Still, a little more responsibility wouldn't hurt sometimes." He thanks Tony for the fresh beer.

We talk about work a little more, but then drift off to private things. Ben tells me about his two boys, and his eyes shine brightly while he speaks about his little family.

An hour later, I let myself into our apartment, and Cedric greets me with enthusiasm, running in circles around my feet until I stumble and almost step on his paw.

"Hello, buddy," I say. "Come, let's get you dinner."

He follows me to the kitchen and I pour a generous amount of cat food into his bowl, which he starts to eat noisily. Just then, I hear the front door open, announcing Bella's return.

"Hello baby," I call from the kitchen.

A second later, she is standing in the doorway, looking tired but beautiful in a pale blue summer dress. Her hair is in a ponytail, but a few small curls have escaped, framing her face.

I close the small distance between us and greet her with a thorough kiss. Her skin is warm and soft, and her lips respond to mine.

"Hey," she smiles.

"Hey…"

I wrap my arms around her and pull her as close as I can, her slightly protruding belly between us.

"How was your day?"

"Long," I yawn.

"Bed?" She stands on her tiptoes and kisses my nose.

"Yeah…"

Hand in hand we make our way upstairs. I take off my clothes and change into my pajama pants while Bella disappears to the bathroom. I join her a moment later and we stand side by side as we brush our teeth – the perfect image of domestic bliss.

Well, I don't know if Bella's groping my butt fits in with that tame picture, but I sure enjoy it, as well as her giggles when I do the same to her. She has changed into a silky baby doll, looking delectable as she watches me from under black lashes. I pull her close and lightly nip at her lips.

"You're a very horny pregnant lady," I remark, kissing a trail from her mouth to her neck. Bella sighs happily, and I bury my face in her hair when she hiccups one, two times. It's been happening frequently lately, telling us that our daughter is hiccupping as well. It's incredible sweet, and I kiss Bella's ear before I lift her up and carry her to bed.

She squeals happily when I drop her gently, and loses no time in pulling me with her so we're lying side by side, facing each other.

"Mmm… hi…" she whispers, her minty, warm breath tickling my skin as her fingers move into my hair, slowly massaging my scalp, which she knows drives me crazy each and every time. She hitches her leg over my hip while our lips melt into a long and sensuous kiss.

This leg-hitch thing she's doing is actually her way of relieving the back pain she suffers most days. In other words, she uses me as her pregnancy pillow, while the one I ordered last week lies unused on the _chaise longue_ by the window.

"Edward," she sighs, feeling my hand slide from her belly to the apex of her thighs. Her naked skin is silky, and I moan softly when I brush higher on the inside of her leg, reaching her sweetest part. Her hotness pulsates against my hand even through the material of her panties.

Nimble fingers slide into my pajamas, teasing and exciting me in a rather straightforward way. Again, I moan.

"Bella… oh, God… yes…"

Impatiently, she struggles out of her flimsy nightwear, simultaneously shoving my pants lower with her feet. Once she has accomplished this task, she gently pushes me to my back, kissing a slow line from my throat to my stomach, licking and caressing and moving lower and lower. Having reached my most sensitive part, her tongue takes a short lick. I shudder, my hands moving into her hair when she takes me in her mouth.

"Oh, God, baby, that feels so good…"

She licks and sucks and hums, and I'm sure that I see stars when she starts to lightly massage my balls. She holds me down by my hips when I thrash about, my fingers digging into the bedspread as I tremble, a warm orgasm washing over me.

I'm panting, mumbling words of adoration while Bella rests her head on my thigh.

**BELLA**

I kiss Edward's hipbone before I rest my head on his thigh. His breathing is still heavy, and I smile. I kiss his thigh, pressing my nose into his hard, muscular flesh. It's really big for a thigh, I muse. Like my waist or something. Well, like my waist used to be.

Edward's fingers entangle in my hair.

"I love you," he says softly.

"I love you more." I gently bite his thigh, then lick over the spot. Salty, and Edward.

"Mmm," I sigh.

He chuckles.

"What?" I grin.

"What are you doing?"

"Right now?" I put my head in a more comfortable position. "Looking at your cock."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Damn pretty."

"You're calling my penis pretty?"

"Beautiful, then." I giggle.

"I'll show you beautiful," he growls, and in one sudden, swift movement, he's turned me around, scrambling lower on the bed until his face is buried between my legs and his tongue catapults me straight to heaven.

Happily, the next day is a Sunday, so we sleep in and have a luxurious breakfast in bed before we get ready to visit Edward's parents.

The weather is lovely, and we enjoy our quiet time together during the ride, listening to old-fashioned jazz tunes. My hand rests on Edward's knee and our eyes meet every once in a while, nothing but love and happiness between us. On the ferry, Edward pulls me into his side and we watch the waves ruffle and foam as Manhattan disappears further and further away. His palm is spread over my belly, his thumb running up and down in a soothing, quiet way.

"You know," he says unexpectedly, "when Ben and I went to have a drink last night, we talked a little about… well…" He pauses and I look up into his face. Edward is sucking in his cheeks, searching for the correct words. "Our families," he finally says. "And actually, Ben was complaining a bit about not having enough responsibility."

I can feel that he is a little tense, so I simple snuggle closer into his arms and put my face against his chest.

"I don't know why I'm even telling you this," Edward shrugs, putting a kiss on the top of my head. "It's just that –"

"Oh my God!" I exclaim. "Edward! Edward, did you feel this?" I immediately grab his hand and guide it in the direction where I felt a tiny tap from my inside.

His eyes are wide as he stares into mine.

"Where? Where?"

"Um… like… here." My hand on top of his, I pray for our little girl to make herself known again.

Quiet.

Edward, who doesn't care what people might think, crouches down and kisses my stomach through the light material of my sun dress and murmurs, "Hey, sweetie. Don't you think it's time to say hello to your dad? You've kept me waiting for weeks now…" He kisses us again, and places his cheek against my rounded tummy.

Nothing.

Edward waits for another few minutes, but the baby is unresponsive to his pleading.

He gets up and slides his arms around my waist.

"I hope she won't always be that stubborn," he sighs sweetly, nuzzling my nose with his. "Or maybe I shouldn't be so impatient." He kisses me. "It's just that I can't wait to feel her…"

And because I'm a sappy, pregnant woman, his words bring tears to my eyes, so I hug him closer and bury my face in his neck.

=====oOo=====

Emmett's booming laughter resounds across the garden as we have a late lunch with the family. Lily is next to him, shoving spaghetti into her mouth, while Rose helps Anna with her noodles. She has sauce all around her mouth. It looks like clown makeup.

Edward's hand searches out for mine and when I look at him, I realize that he is watching me with a tender expression, the tiny wrinkles around his eyes deepening.

I incline my head in a silent question, but he just smiles and catches my lips in a small kiss.

Conversation is flowing easily, and once we've finished our meal, Edward and Emmett volunteer to clear the table and do the dishes. Carlisle goes inside, followed by Jasper, so they can have a look at a book on the history of medicine or something like that. Esme, Rose, Alice and I are left with the children. Lily grins happily when Alice wonders aloud whether her Barbie doll needs a new ball gown. Anna is fidgeting a bit in her highchair, so Rose moves to lift her out of it, but by a sudden instinct, I halt her.

"Can… Can I?"

Rose's smile is beautiful as she responds.

"Of course! Just let me lift her, okay? She weighs twenty-three pounds already!"

"Oh, okay," I mumble, embarrassed about my lack of knowledge. I am aware of the fact that I am not allowed to lift more than ten pounds, which I find ridiculous, but have been obeying. I didn't expect such a small person to weigh more than twice that amount.

Rose places her daughter on my lap, and Anna immediately begins to tug at my hair. Rose gently pries her fingers off me, but I just smile.

"It's okay." I take Anna's small hand in mine. "Hi, Anna!"

The little girl grins, and it moves me to the core. She grabs my nose, and Rose makes to interfere, but I can see Esme from the corner of my eye, gently shaking her head.

"Oooh," Alice squeals from across the table, beaming from ear to ear. "Bella, you look so cute with a baby!"

"I do?"

All three women nod, and I think I'm blushing a little.

"Have you thought about a name?" Esme wants to know.

"Yes," I reply. "But we haven't decided on anything yet, of course." I smile. "Edward likes Noelle, because, well…" I swallow. "She was conceived at Christmas."

"That's lovely," Rose says, and Esme nods in agreement.

Edward and Emmett return to the garden and Edward sits down next to me.

"Hello, little lady," he greets Anna, who stretches out her arms toward him.

I chuckle. "No girl can resist you, darling." I help Anna move over to his lap, and she begins to explore Edward's chin.

"So Bella just told us about Noelle as a possible name," Esme says. "It's beautiful."

"We want something classical," Edward says. "Maybe we should have a look at our family trees. There might be something interesting there."

"Have you felt her move yet?" Rose asks, talking a sip of her iced tea. Emmett watches her with a mellow expression. It's always touching to see how soft and tender this bear of a man is with his wife and daughters. He's a hard-headed businessman with the exterior of a quarterback and the heart of a fluffy baby bunny.

Edward shakes his head. There's a very sweet pout on his lips.

"It's my own fault, I guess," he says ruefully. "I always seem to be working."

I grab his hand. "You've been making such an effort lately."

Edward still frowns. "As a matter of fact, I'm thinking of ways to cut back on work." He's silent for a moment, four pairs of eyes watching him. "That's what I was trying to tell you earlier, Bella," he says, looking at me. "I'm not quite sure how to do it, but there must be a way…"

"What are you talking about?" Carlisle's voice comes from the door. He looks indignant.

Jasper is standing right behind him with a book in his hand, sensing the rather abrupt change in atmosphere, his eyes darting between Edward and Carlisle.

"I need to reduce my work load," Edward explains calmly. "Our daughter will be with us in a little over three months, and I intend to see her as she grows up. I also don't want to leave Bella alone with a newborn all the time. I know how hard it can be. So I'm actually trying to find out how to do this, without making things difficult for Demetri of course."

"Very good decision, Edward," Emmett says. "They grow up so fast." He kisses Lily's head as she climbs in his lap.

Jasper sits down next to Alice.

"You can't be serious." Carlisle takes a step forward. "After all that work you poured into attaining this position, you want to throw your career away?"

"I don't intend to throw anything away," Edward replies, his tone becoming testy. "I merely said that I am trying to find a way to be with my family."

Carlisle shakes his head for a few moments, staring at his son with an unreadable expression. "Oh, Edward."

"What? I've wanted children for years and years, and now that it's happening, I will be there. For my wife, and my daughter." Edward's cheeks are heating up, and by the way the vein at his temple throbs, I can tell just how agitated he is.

"Edward. Edward." Carlisle finally sits down at the head of the table. "You are incredibly talented. You know that. You didn't get to where you are due to your name. You did this all on your own. Don't be weak now and throw everything away for –"

"Dad!" Edward's jaw is tense as he tries to stay calm. "I know that, and thank you for acknowledging it, by the way. But there are things… there are things…" He lets out a sound of anger and frustration. "Things that are more important than a job."

Little Anna starts crying, and Rose shakes her head at both her father and brother while she gets up and lifts her daughter into her arms.

"Maybe we should leave you alone," she suggests, her voice cold.

"That won't be necessary," Edward says, "because we're leaving."

"Edward," Esme protests, grabbing his hand, but Edward is already getting up.

"I'm sorry, Mom. But I won't listen to this. Bella and I are going to have a family, and I am certainly not throwing anything away, but gaining the most precious gift there is. I am not about to jeopardize my career, merely trying to find ways to balance things properly."

"You're behaving like an immature boy," Carlisle starts, but Jasper interrupts him smoothly.

"Please don't fight about this. You're both right, but you shouldn't discuss it in the heat of the moment."

"I'm perfectly calm," Carlisle protests.

Edward heaves a loud sigh. "Look, Dad, I guess Jasper's right. Let's discuss it some other time, okay?"

And then Lily pipes up. "Why are you so angry with Uncle Edward, Granddad?"

"Hey, Princess Lily," Alice smiles. "Come to the swings with me?"

I close my eyes for a second. I feel sick to my stomach, but this time, it has nothing to do with my pregnancy. I get up and take Edward's hand.

"We should go," I say softly and to no one in particular. "This isn't getting us anywhere."

Esme looks pained, glancing between father and son. Emmett's eyebrows are knitted together and his expression is one of regret. Alice watches us from the swings as she pushes Lily.

Our good-byes are swift and awkward. I think I only dare to breathe again once we're back in the car. Edward is driving silently, pulling at his hair every now and again. I'm quiet as well, trying to give him the time he needs to think.

The time on the ferry is somewhat bittersweet, with our mood so despondent while a spectacular sunset dips the approaching skyline of Manhattan into the most beautiful shades of pink and orange. Edward has his arm around me and kisses my brow.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs.

"I'm sorry too. I just wish that you and Carlisle would have a less complicated relationship." I kiss his neck, wrapping my arms around his torso. "Why didn't you tell me about your plans?"

"I wish they were concrete plans," Edward sighs. "It's merely an idea as yet." He sighs again, his hands framing my face, making me meet his eyes.

He looks so beautiful, and at the same time, so vulnerable, his green eyes full of disappointment. I kiss him very softly.

"I love you so much, Edward. I love you for wanting to do this. For being the man you are."

"I just couldn't bear to live like my dad did," he whispers. "Always gone, always working. I want our daughter to know me, not just as a special guest on weekends." He looks at me with sad eyes. "I only seem to remember Carlisle from so few occasions when I was a kid. It was always Mom. Mom who made our meals, Mom who read bedtime stories, Mom who took us to school. I mean," he shrugs, "this is the twenty-first century isn't it? I don't want to be that man, leaving the wife with the dirty laundry and the kids and the kitchen." He laughs softly, kissing my ear. "Though I love you in the kitchen. Even if you always make the biggest mess."

I close my eyes, relaxing into Edward's warmth. The soft breeze drifts over my bare arms.

"So you mean to say you're not a Neanderthal?"

"I hope not," he chuckles. "Can I upgrade to… I don't know? An eighteenth-century gentleman?"

"You're always a gentleman…"

"Okay, then I could maybe even be…" He nips at my earlobe, causing me to shudder pleasantly. "Late… nineteenth… century?"

"Yes," I sigh.

"Twentieth century even?"

His hands are spread over the small of back, almost reaching my buttocks. His hot breath in my ear is getting me slightly flustered.

I move my head so I can kiss him properly, his plump lips lightly pulling at mine.

"I would love you whatever age or century," I murmur.

A soft movement catches my attention, and when it happens again, I take Edward's hand and guide it to my belly.

She tap, tap, taps, and the sun comes up in Edward's eyes.

"I felt that," he whispers in awe.

Another tiny move.

"Look," I smile. "She's saying hello after all."

For a second, I think that Edward might be starting to cry, but he merely sniffles and bites his lip.

"I love you both so much." His voice is low and serious. "Nothing's ever been truer, or deeper, Bella. It's you, and her."

"And you," I add, smiling when I see the little smile that graces Edward's lips.

It's the perfect ending to a day that started beautifully and then became not so nice. But what stays is this: a breathtaking sunset, a long and equally breathtaking kiss, and a growing little family.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading!**

**I hope I'll be able to keep to my schedule of posting sometime between Friday and Sunday. Life's a little crazy at the moment, so please bear with me. I love each and every one of your reviews, so please don't stop. Your feedback is incredibly important to me!**

**Reviewers get an outtake this week, by the way. It's named _Edward and Bella at the Movies, _LOL.**


	25. Information, Please

**A/N:**

**The wonderful dellaterra is my beta, and I can never thank her enough.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 25: **Information, Please**

**BELLA**

By the end of May, it has gotten quite warm, the trees wearing a fresh green, people enjoying the lovely weather as they sit in parks and cafés. I have gotten used to having hot flashes at the most inopportune moments, like when I'm meeting Laurent for lunch at a trendy café in Chelsea.

I may be pregnant, but I am still an actress, and I have to keep in touch. Laurent had big eyes when he saw me as I entered the fashionably under-decorated place, wearing one of my brand new maternity dresses. I guess he just hadn't given the fact much thought beforehand, and I am sporting my beautiful bump with pride.

He was very sweet, complimenting me all the time, accepting the fact that I will be off the market for at least another year. I have no idea what will happen after that year. Hell, I have no idea what having a newborn means! Lunch was pleasant and entertaining, and I enjoyed hearing all the news from the theater world. We parted on extremely friendly terms, and I am certain that my lovely agent is going to send the biggest teddy bear once our baby is with us.

So I'm having hot flashes, and I tend to have mood swings. My feet are swollen and my back aches like nothing. I realize that I'm in a very privileged position, though. Due to doctor's orders, I don't work any longer, albeit I'm only in my twenty-second week. I miss the hustle and bustle of the theater, the anticipation, the strain, the fulfillment. My life is pretty uneventful these days.

I try to fill my days with sensible things. Planning the nursery, learning to cook, reading, going for walks in Central Park. Discussing the wedding with Seth. The wedding. It's gotten so big that I am seriously worried he might be in for disappointment, just because the expectations are getting bigger and bigger. He won't hear of it, of course, insisting that his and Collin's wedding will be the crowning of their love, and the most beautiful festivity Seattle has ever seen. His sister Leah appears to be much more relaxed, sending me an email every once in a while and telling me not to listen to Seth's more extravagant ideas.

Right now, I'm staring at an email he sent me. It's the guest list.

I expected it; hell, I knew this was going to happen, but I still want to throw up on my laptop.

Jacob Black.

We discussed it. Seth is Jake's cousin, after all. It's a big and close family. I knew that Jake would be invited. It still makes my stomach churn.

I don't want to see Jake ever again. It's been three years, and so much has happened. I moved, fell in love, had success in my job, and became pregnant. I am married to the most perfect guy on earth. He is tender and strong, funny and vulnerable. He loves me, and I've never felt more loved or secure than when I'm in his arms. He is it, and I have no doubt about this fact.

Still, it seems that I have to go through the painful process of uniting my past with my present. Or something like that. Maybe I can just avoid him.

"Bella?"

I have been so deep in my negative thoughts that I didn't hear the front door. I stretch and yawn.

"Bella? Baby? And baby?" He chuckles, entering the kitchen just as I stand up, yawning again.

"Hey," he grins as he steps close to me and wraps his arms around me. He kisses me, his light stubble scratching me excitingly. He has already discarded his suit jacket over the back of a kitchen chair. His tie loose, his sleeves rolled up. He moans softly as our kiss deepens, his hand drifting under the shirt I'm wearing, which is actually his, gentle fingers running up and down the small of my back.

"You taste like strawberries," he sighs against my lips, and nibbles tenderly.

"You taste like Edward," I smile and undo his tie.

"Are you undressing me, Mrs. Cullen?" he asks seductively.

"Maybe…"

"You do realize that we have to leave in about an hour?" he murmurs, his warm breath making me slightly giddy until his words sink in, and I stare at him.

"Demetri's birthday," he reminds me with a slight frown, which quickly morphs into a crooked smile. "You forgot, right?"

"Completely," I admit, feeling very sheepish. "I'm so sorry. I guess there's a reason it's called pregnancy brain."

"But… you're coming with me, aren't you?" He looks at me with cute puppy dog eyes. "Because I absolutely have to go, and I don't want to go without you." He places one, two small kisses on my mouth. "And I want to see you in your new dress…"

"In that case," I pretend to grumble, "I need to go upstairs, shower, and get ready…"

"I need a shower too," he whispers. "Maybe we could have one together?"

I'm already opening the upper buttons of Edward's shirt as I murmur, "I think that's a very good idea."

=====oOo=====

The party is a huge affair in Demetri and Heidi's garden. There are various tents, and a dance floor, a gigantic buffet, two bars, and a little band. There must be about two hundred people, but due to the size of the garden, it's not crowded. The sun is just setting, and it's still pleasantly warm. I feel lighthearted and cheerful, having successfully blocked out the guest list I read earlier. It was easy, really, after Edward gave me the most amazing orgasm in the shower. My husband's hands are talented. They work on people's open hearts, they extract wonderful melodies from the piano, and they most certainly know how to please me in the most delicious ways.

"Oh my God, Bella! You look gorgeous!"

"Angela!" A huge smile spreads over my face at seeing Ben's wife, and we hug each other warmly.

"How are you, Bella?"

"I'm very well," I reply, patting my baby bump. The new dress does nothing to hide it – not that it would be possible to hide it, unless I was wearing a tent. It's a beautiful dress, blue chiffon and silk, ending just below my knees. Edward gave it to me for our first wedding anniversary last week, along with matching Prada shoes and a string of pearls.

We had a beautiful night all by ourselves, and I need to swallow at the memory.

"But tell my about yourself, and the babies!"

Angela and I sit down at one of the little tables and I wave to Edward, who is approaching with drinks, before I turn back to Angela. She looks lovely, and very happy. She has gained a few pounds – well, she probably just hasn't lost them yet – and it suits her nicely. She looks… motherly.

_Will I look like that in a few months? Will I have that motherly air she has? Do I even have that in me?_

"Angela!" Edward greets her with a kiss on the cheek. "How good to see you. You look wonderful!"

She beams at his compliment, and I have to smile too. Edward just can't help being charming. As if to prove it, he hands me a pink drink, his thumb stroking my cheek.

"Here, love. It's called a rhubarb girl. I asked the bar tender to leave out the alcohol. I told him it's for a rhubarb mommy."

"Aww…" Angela sighs.

"Can I get you anything as well?" Edward asks.

Angela shakes her head and points at her glass of champagne.

"I'm good, thank you."

"Sit down with us?" I ask him, our fingers entwining. "Or do you need to mingle and network first?"

Edward groans and takes a sip of his white wine.

"I should, I guess. I haven't even spoken to Demetri beyond the point of saying hello." He bends down and places a kiss on my lips. "But I won't be gone long, just make the rounds."

He hovers for a second, his face close to mine, as if he wants to add something, but he just smiles and kisses me again.

Angela and I look after him as he joins a group of men next to the goldfish pond.

"I love no one but my Ben," Angela says, "but Edward… phew, he's something else. You will have the most beautiful baby ever!"

We both giggle. It's getting dark, and hundreds of fairy lights are illuminating the trees surrounding the garden. There are candles everywhere, and the band is playing some classic Eighties tunes.

We talk about babies, and Angela gives me lots of helpful advice. She also tells me funny and adorable stories about her sons and their shenanigans. At some point, we go and get some food from the lavish buffet. I go for a small serving of pasta and a bowl of fruit salad. Angela laughs.

"I was the same during both pregnancies. I literally lived on pineapples and oranges."

"It's so odd," I say as we sit back down. "I never used to like fruit much, and now I love it. That, and salami. And popcorn. I also eat all three together," I add in a whisper, which makes Angela laugh again.

"But Edward told me I shouldn't eat too much fruit because it runs the risk of giving me gestational diabetes. We already had the drama with the high blood pressure, so I'm nothing if not careful." I longingly eye my half-eaten fruit salad, pick out another slice of mango and push it away.

"Small wonder you're still so slender," Angela sighs. "I'm not talking about your tummy," she adds when she sees my expression. "You have a baby in there! But I bet _you'll_ be back in shape really quickly."

"I gained almost fourteen pounds," I say. "It's about average, isn't it?"

"Oh, Bella, I didn't mean to say that you are, I don't know, malnourishing your baby!" She puts her hand on mine. "I'm sorry."

"No, _I'm_ sorry," I reply with a nervous laugh. "I guess everything scares me since we had that fright. And Edward…" I fall silent for a moment, Angela patiently waiting for me to go on. "This is so important to him. He always wanted a family. He always wanted to do things differently than his own father did…"

_Shit, I am choking up. Damn those hormones!_

"But he's going to, isn't he?" Angela asks softly, rubbing my arm. "I mean, from what Ben tells me, he's trying to move heaven and earth to convince Demetri of this idea of his…"

I sniffle and dig through my purse to retrieve a tissue, dabbing at my teary eyes so my mascara doesn't run.

The band starts playing Wham's "Careless Whisper." The party has really gotten going it seems, people dancing and cheering.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Edward's suggestion. That he and Ben…"

Angela suddenly looks alarmed.

"What are you talking about? Angela?"

"I… I'm sorry. I thought you knew…"

"What? What should I know about?"

From teary to shaky and panicked in under two minutes, I grab Angela's hand, beseeching her with my eyes.

"What is it? Please, please tell me!"

"I don't think I'm supposed to, Bella. It's Edward's story to tell. I'm sorry that I interfered."

"Angela." I know that my grip on her hand is getting uncomfortable, and that I probably look way too fierce. "Tell me. Tell me. I need to know!"

"Bella, please calm down. Nothing terrible is happening,so please relax." She moves her chair closer to mine. I think that Angela is sensing that I am close to a full-blown panic attack. At least she knows that I feel very, very bad right now. So she pulls me in closer and, in a low voice starts to speak.

**EDWARD**

Ben and I have been talking much longer than I intended to, but there seems to be such a lot to talk about. Demetri has not given us anything close to a green light, but the plan has to be bulletproof so we can finally convince him.

I actually had the idea even before the fight with Carlisle, when Ben and I had a drink and he mentioned to me that he would like to have more responsibility. That got the wheels turning in my head. I talked to him. I talked to Demetri. And then, all three of us met.

Demetri was not impressed.

But he sat down with us and listened, after he'd retrieved that bottle of brandy from his sideboard and poured out three glasses, growling that he was not convinced.

So Ben and I had a lot to talk about, but now I can see things getting wild on the dance floor, and I wonder about Bella. I know she's perfectly able to have a good time without me. I just wonder if she's okay. Or maybe I only want to be close to her and our daughter again.

She looked so beautiful earlier in her dress. Hell, she looked incredibly beautiful before she put that dress on, when I went down on her in the shower, her body flushed and soft and round and pure heaven.

"Maybe we should go and search for our wives," I suggest to Ben.

"Yeah, you're right." He checks his watch. "Yikes. We need to get back home anyway. The babysitter…"

I don't understand the last of his words as my attention is caught by a shock of red hair. It's my colleague Victoria. She's standing next to people who are sitting and talking and I smile when I see Bella's profile. Victoria is not with her group, but standing rather close by. Bella and Angela are in deep conversation, Bella listening with a serious expression, biting her lip now and then. Even from the distance, I can tell that she is tense, which makes me immediately think that something might be wrong with the baby.

Angela falls silent when she sees us approach, and Bella's eyes follow her as she turns.

It takes me a few moments to decipher her expression. Her eyes look wide and confused, and she has a frown line. Her lips are pouty as if she was considering something she heard.

_She is pissed._

"Bella," I smile, touching her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She nods curtly, but doesn't look at me. I can see her jaw working.

She and Ben exchange a few pleasantries before Ben and Angela tell us good-bye. From the corner of my eye, I see Victoria as she looks after them.

I take the now-vacant seat next to Bella and grab her hand.

"What's the matter, darling?"

"I'm not feeling too well," she says in a low voice. "Would you mind if we left soon?"

One hour later, we're home. Bella was quiet on the way back, looking out the window of the taxicab, her fidgeting hands revealing her agitation. I suspect that Angela said something to her, but right now, I'm not in the mood to explain the situation. I've been working my ass off to find a solution with work. If she chooses to be sullen and play her pregnancy card, so be it.

She went upstairs when we got back, telling me she'd take a bath to soothe her back pain. I'm in the living room, leaning against the French doors leading out upon the terrace. The New York skyline is glittering against the dark night. Cedric is moving around my legs, giving my shins little head bumps.

"Hey," I smile at the cat and continue to stare out into the night. The air is still mild after long days of sunshine.

It happens rarely now, but God, how I wish I had a cigarette!

"Meow."

"No, buddy, you already had dinner."

"Me-oow!"

"How do I know that? Because I gave it to you." I scratch him behind his ears until he purrs contentedly.

I shut the doors and sit down in front of the piano, Cedric retiring to his favorite spot on our sofa. I stretch my fingers a few times before I play a few bars. It calms me immediately, and I fall into a light melody, tinkling away until it seems to become a more distinct tune. It's soft like cotton candy. If it had a color, it would be pink. It's playful and sweet, and innocent.

I think it's about our daughter.

I play for rather a long time, and it's only when I look up that I notice Bella, leaning against the doorframe and looking like an angel in her short, white silken robe, her hair flowing around her shoulders.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asks softly.

Taking a deep breath, I stand up and close the lid of the piano.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I wish Angela hadn't told you. Nothing is certain as yet. I didn't want you to be disappointed if things don't work out."

"I would have wanted to know," Bella says quietly. "Even if it doesn't work out. That's a big decision you're making. I would have liked to be included."

"I'm sorry," I repeat. "I just wanted everything to be cut and dried before I told you."

I take a couple of steps in her direction. She's still resting against the doorframe, looking unsure and small and maddeningly beautiful. Reaching out, I push a strand of hair behind her ear.

She grabs my hand and leans into my palm, huge dark eyes mesmerizing me from under long lashes.

"Please don't exclude me, darling," she murmurs. "I feel excluded as it is, sitting around here all the time, getting fatter…"

"You did not just say that." I shake my head slowly and move closer to her, until our bodies touch. "Bella, you've never been more beautiful or exciting to me than you are now." I swallow. I put my hand on her belly. "This," I say, "is the most beautiful and true thing I've ever seen. And I want to be there, _really_ be there. That's the reason I am trying to do this whole thing."

Bella's hand wraps around mine on her round form as she looks up at me.

"Then tell me all about this _thing_ you're trying to do."

**BELLA**

We're snuggled up on the sofa, my head on Edward's chest, as he tells me about the plans he's been making. His fingers are drawing lazy circles on my back as he speaks, and my heart keeps making this little squeeze-like motion. He has given it so much thought and energy, thinking only about the little family we're about to become.

"Like I said," he tells me, his lips so close that I can feel his warm breath at my temple. "Demetri is not convinced. He thinks we will end up fighting, or something. Which I can't see, because Ben and I have been working together for years. I think it would feel natural. We agree on so many things concerning our job. And he wants to give it a try, as do I." He puts a small kiss on my brow. He's silent for a moment, his thumb rubbing the small of my back.

"You really believe this might work?" I ask, propping up on my elbow so I can see his eyes. "You and Ben, sharing your position?"

"I do," he replies. "Because we're in the same place. We share the same views. It will be difficult at first, but I'm sure that we'll figure it out." Edward shrugs cutely. "I'm not saying that it will be easy all the time, but we have a common goal." He kisses my eyebrow. "I didn't mean to make you feel left out." His warm breath is like a balm, and I can't help but relax. "I only want to be there for you and… our pea."

"We never call her Noelle," I mumble into his chest. Truth be told, I'm sleepy. It must be after two. "D'you think it'll be the right name?"

"Mmm-hmm… but maybe we need to look out for a second one…" Edward sounds a little tired too.

"Maybe we can do that while we dream?" I suggest.

"Yes," he sighs.

Ten minutes later, we're in our bed in our usual sleeping position, Edward's chest to my back, his hand splayed across my belly.

"I love you," Edward murmurs, his voice already garbled from tiredness. "You both…"

=====oOo=====

_Why?_

_I'm crying so hard my whole body shakes. _

_What have I done wrong? Where have I been lacking?_

_I'm running toward them, but they're like shadows in the mist. I can't get hold of them._

_I never get to hold them back…_

"Bella? Bella!"

Warm lips, strong arms, his trusted voice.

"It was just a dream," he whispers, his breath softly fanning over my skin. "Just a dream… Shh, baby… Everything's okay…"

He holds me while I cry.

It's sketchy, but I remember how I felt, screaming for my mom in the dark. Mostly, it was just darkness.

Somehow, Edward understands, hugging me close, somehow enwrapping me with his body, murmuring soothingly while he lets me cry.

And cry I do.

I cry for the mother I never really had, I cry for every birthday I spent without her. I cry for the day Dad found me with my blanket pulled over my head when I was thirteen, trembling, and only when Sue came in did I dare to admit I was convinced I was dying because I was bleeding.

I cry for my own baby, most of all, because I have no role model on how to be a good mother for her, but I want nothing more than that. I love our little pea.

And I cry more.

I love her so much, but how can I be a good mother when I had such a bad mother?

Edward is like a rock, holding me, murmuring, stroking my back.

I don't even really remember my mother. I don't remember what she looked like. Looks like. Whatever. I remember that her hair was wavy, and that she smelled like cigarettes and strawberries, but not like real strawberries. More like strawberries your Barbie doll would wash her hair with. Artificial. So, yes, my mother smelled stale and artificial.

And that, again, is unjust, because Sue was always there after my mother left, Sue with her lively eyes and…

"Baby… Baby… Bella…" Edward tries to get a hold of me as I cringe, trying to protect me, to help me.

"Bella…" His voice is low and gentle, and serious. "I don't know what demons you're fighting right now, but I am _here_. I am _here with you_, do you understand me?"

"Mmgh…"

I grab him and turn around in his arms, burying my wet face in his warm, bare chest.

"Shhh… shhh…" He rocks me softly, and I begin to wonder if it wouldn't be a better idea if Edward had the baby. He's better at… well, everything.

A small move from inside me startles and quiets me.

It's her.

"Edward," I whisper shakily as I take his hand. "Can you feel that?"

We're silent except for my sniffles. She does it again. A movement like a fish bumping against the constraints of its aquarium.

"Yes," Edward murmurs. He moves lower on my body and kisses my belly. "Hello! Hello, little one!" He kisses me, and our baby responds with a soft move.

"She likes the sound of your voice…"

Edward rains small kisses on us, whispering tender words against my taut skin.

She keeps tapping, and we keep whispering, and I finally stop crying.

"It's going to be okay," Edward murmurs gently. "You'll be a wonderful mom, and I will find a way to be a good dad…"

"You're going to be," I whisper, snuggling closer into his arms and closing my eyes again. This time, I fall into the most delicious, dreamless sleep. It's like cotton candy enwrapping me with nothing but sweetness and security.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**This chapter comes a little later than usual, because it was Rob-weekend for me. He signed his picture and smiled at me at the premiere of _Bel Ami,_ and I am a happy, happy girl. Last night I got to see the movie, and it is hot, hot, hot!**

**Thank you to everyone for reading, you guys are the best!**


	26. Let's Step Out

**A/N:**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**The incomparable and brilliant dellaterra is my beta.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 26:** Let's Step Out**

**EDWARD**

One second before I wake up, I'm fighting a big monster.

It looks like a huge werewolf, and I'm this close to killing it when the alarm goes off.

"Nooo," I yammer, burying my face in my wife's hair. "No, no, no, no, no!"

Bella merely grunts and wiggles her ass against me. We're both naked after making love last night, and her warm body feels fantastic.

Mmm… Maybe she wants to make the getting up part of my day easier?

Wiggle.

Grunt.

Sigh.

Wiggle.

"You're awake, aren't you?"

"Mmm."

She grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles, then, without any further warning, takes my middle finger between her lips, licking slowly, and I'm instantly hard. Her soft, warm tongue massages me, evoking images of other things her tongue has done to me. My hand travels over her rounded belly, passing the smattering of hair and delving into her sweet wetness. Bella has always been a sensuous woman, but the pregnancy has made her even more responsive. She just feels more, she told me the other day. All her senses seem to have improved.

"Edward," she moans, "don't torture me…"

"I'm not planning to," I whisper hotly into her ear, helping her move her thigh.

We groan in unison the second I enter her.

Nothing is better than this. We're connected, no words needed.

Her breast feels wonderful under my fingers, full and supple, her nipple stiffening under my touch. There's nothing like her familiar scent - roses and pure Bella - that makes me feel so at home.

I close my eyes and kiss her neck, softly rocking into her. If we could stay like this forever, joined in the most intimate way, warm and safe in our bed, I'd be a happy man.

Bella's joyful moans get more urgent, and she begins to move against me.

"Edward… oh, oh, can you… oh, _God_, right there… Ungh…"

She presses her face into the pillows, arching her back for better leverage. I look down on where we're joined, watching myself disappear into her, and it's almost enough to drive me over the edge. Our groans and grunts fill the room, along with the sounds we make as I thrust into her.

"Oh, oh… Oh, yes… yes… Ohhhh…"

Bella's deep groan is swallowed by the pillows as she trembles, clenching down on me. It takes two more erratic thrusts for me and my own orgasm shatters through me. Bella shudders again, her fingers threading through mine as we slowly calm down, both of us fighting for breath.

"Ugh," she groans uncomfortably.

"What is it?" I ask, immediately worried.

"Feel that?"

She turns to her back and puts my hand on her stomach, which is quite hard for a few moments. She told me about having Braxton Hicks contractions before, which could be triggered by a number of things. In this case, I guess the reason might be an orgasm.

"Does it hurt?"

"No," she sighs, then snuggles up to me and smiles. "Better now?" I kiss the top of her head.

"Yes. It was just strange for a moment." She nuzzles my chest with her nose. "Stay with me for a few more minutes?"

"Of course." I close my eyes and just hold her for as long as I can before I absolutely need to get up.

Bella slips into the bathroom while I finish shaving after my shower. She grins and gently squeezes my butt. I'm only in my underwear. Bella slides her arms around my stomach and kisses my shoulder blade.

"You'll be perfect," she assures me, knowing precisely how nervous I am.

Today is important. Ben and Demetri and I will introduce our concept to the Board of Directors. It's an unusual idea, but we have managed to convince our boss that it's worth trying. He doesn't want to lose me as a doctor, I know that, and he finally agreed a few days ago. Now we have to win everyone else's approval.

Bella bustles around in the kitchen while I get dressed, and has made breakfast by the time I come down. She smiles when she sees me in my suit and tie.

"You look all business-y, Dr. Cullen. Very distinguished."

I keep running my fingers through my hair while I have coffee, until Bella gently takes my hand and kisses it.

"Why are you so nervous, darling? Demetri already agreed, and from what you've said, he's gotten the big guys on your side."

"I know," I shrug and rub my eye. "It's just… It's so important that this should work out."

"It will." She leans over and kisses me, her warm lips giving me precisely the comfort I need.

Bella makes me eat a slice of toast and some fruit, and I can't help but be touched at this new maternal side of her. She started cleaning out the remainder of what was in the nursery-to-be over the last week, and Mom will have the painters over while we're gone for the wedding.

Before I leave, I crouch down and kiss our daughter. Bella's fingers entwine in my hair.

"She's asleep I think," she says. She always seems to sleep during the day, Bella told me. She will move around a bit after lunch, and then get active in the evening, when her mom slows down and rests.

Bella accompanies me to the front door and kisses me good-bye.

"Here," she murmurs, pressing a small box into my hand.

"What's that?"

"Open it when you're in your office," she instructs, standing on her toes and kissing me once more. "Edward, I love you so much, you know that, right? No matter what."

I hold her close for a moment, trying not to squeeze her too hard, and press a kiss on her hair.

"As I love you."

=====oOo=====

Once I'm in my office, there's still an hour to go until the meeting, and I'm curious about the contents of the box. I sit at my desk and untie the white bow before I lift the lid.

It's a tiny pink onesie saying I LOVE MY DADDY. There's also a note from Bella.

_My Edward,_

_We love you more than anything._

_Please don't worry. Whatever happens today, you're the best husband in the world, and you'll be an even better daddy._

_Bella._

I almost start to cry. The piece is so small. It's hard to believe we'll have a daughter wearing it in a little over three months.

As I make my way to the conference room a little later, Victoria accosts me in the hallway. I haven't seen her in a few days. She looks at me strangely, and stops right in front of me.

"Hello, Edward. Going to the big meeting?"

"Hi, Victoria. Um, yeah. See you – "

I want to say "later," but she grabs my arm rather ungently, not allowing me to pass.

"Don't you think it's a little unfair not to include the person who _first_ applied for the job in this brilliant idea of yours?"

It comes out almost as a hiss, and I stare at her. Her eyes look fierce, and her nostrils are quivering.

"I'm sorry," I say truthfully, "but I have no idea what you're talking about. Please let go of me. If there's anything you need to tell me, we can do it after the meeting of the board."

"No, Edward." Her grip becomes painful. "_It has to be now_."

"Victoria," I say in a low voice, prying her claws off my arm. "What's going on with you?"

"I used to think you were one of the decent guys," she spits. "But this - this is _so unfair_!"

"Again, I don't know what you're talking about, but you will please excuse me now," I say, turning away from her.

I look back once as I make my way down the corridor. She watches me with an expression that can only be described as sheer hatred, standing there with one hand on her hip, as if she wanted to say _we're not done talking_.

I'm still shaking my head when I get to the conference room.

That was a bit scary, especially since I have no idea what she was referring to.

It's a warm, rainy day, with huge drops running down the windows of the conference room. Demetri is talking about cuts that need to be made. I'm tapping my fingers on my knee under the table, impatient for him to get to the point. I think about Bella and about our baby. If all goes well, I'll be down to fifty hours a week from next month on. Well, it'll probably take a couple of months until Ben has eased into his new position, but the mere prospect makes my heart feel so very light.

I haven't yet told my family about any of those new developments, anticipating Carlisle's reaction. We're going to see them all in a few weeks, when we pay our visit to Aro at his beach house.

And before that, there's the wedding. We're flying out on Thursday, the wedding taking place on Saturday. Bella is excited for her best friend, but I also think she is nervous, and I haven't yet been able to detect the reason for that.

"… and that," Demetri announces, stirring me out of my reverie, "is the reason I would like to introduce some changes to you all. First of all, Dr. Cullen and Dr. Weber came to me with a rather unusual proposition, but after long discussions, I think we owe it to them to give their concept a try. Both of them are formidable physicians, and their idea may be unconventional, but I think it's also very modern. Both Dr. Cullen and Dr. Weber have young families, and, being modern men, they want to play an integral part in their children's upbringing. So they came up to me with the proposition of sharing the position of head of the cardiovascular department."

**BELLA**

"You look incredible," Alice beams.

We're having a final look at my dress in her little studio. Her design is ingenious, hugging my figure in the most complimentary way, showing off my curves and hiding the parts I don't like so much, like my butt.

"Wow, thank you, Ali," I gush, hugging her. "It's gorgeous!"

"And so are you," she replies sweetly.

While I change back into my comfy leggings and sweater combo, Alice never stops talking for a minute. She can't wait to see Seattle, already making plans for us to visit the Space Needle.

My own feelings concerning our visit are mixed. I haven't told Edward about the guest list yet. I am seriously procrastinating. I know I have to tell him, and before we leave too, because we are bound to meet Jacob.

I hate the thought.

I want him to stay in the past.

"What's bothering you?"

_Oh, damn Alice and her clairvoyance._

She's sitting on the couch, patting the place next to her.

Giving her an eye-roll and a smile, I sit down. Behind us, large drops of rain patter against the windowpane. Alice grabs my hand.

"It's my ex," I sigh, swiftly shaking my head when Alice gives me a horrified look. "He's going to be at the wedding, being Seth and Leah's cousin and all. And I really, really don't want to meet him."

"Oh, no."

Alice's face is scrunched in sympathy.

"And I haven't told Edward yet," I add, staring at my fingernails.

"Bella!" Alice shakes her head, but can't hide her grin at my shamefaced look. "You should! What are you afraid of anyway? You're successful, happily married, very pregnant…"

"I know… I just don't want to run into him. I'm afraid he might be rude, because he won't like seeing that I made a life without him. That I'm happier than I've ever been."

"You worry far too much, Bella," Alice smiles. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Just promise me to talk to Edward."

"I will. I promise."

"Good!" Alice gets up. "And now let's go and have lunch. I'm starving!"

I tell Alice about Edward's plan while we eat, and she beams, even though I make her swear to tell no one but Jasper.

"What a marvelous plan! Oh, Bella, I just know it's going to work!"

"I really hope so," I say, finishing the most delicious _tarte au chocolat. _

"There's something I wanted to give you," Alice says, ferreting through her purse. "Here. It's a copy of our family tree, starting in the seventeen hundreds. Because, you know, you said you and Edward wanted something family-related and old-fashioned"

"Alice, thank you so much!" I hug her. "That's so considerate. Oh, man, you'll be the most fabulous aunt on earth!"

Alice grins happily.

"Yep," she says. "That's the plan."

Together, we take a look at the document.

"Wow. There are a lot of Edwards."

He told me once that he was the fourth Edward in his family, but many of his ancestors had it as a second name.

"This is Mom's line," Alice points out, "the Platts. Elizabeth and Matthew were my grandparents. And here, Dad's parents, Edward and Sasha."

"Were you close to them?" I ask. "I mean, I know you were close to Elizabeth and Matthew, but Carlisle's parents?"

"Not so much," Alice sighs. "They spent a lot of their time in London. Dad adored his mom, I think, but it was always difficult with his father. He was closer to Aro, I believe, and he would have liked for Dad to take over his responsibilities in managing the family's estate. But Dad wanted to go into medicine, and so my granddad taught Aro everything he needed to know."

The wheels in my head just start turning when my phone rings and my husband's beautiful face lights up the display. I took the picture a couple of weeks ago when he was having breakfast, looking up from his paper, smiling, his hair a copper-colored mess.

"Hi, darling!"

"Bella," he says excitedly. "It's on! They agreed!"

"Oh, my God!" I squeal. "Oh, my God!"

Alice eyes me and I gesticulate that everything went fine, nodding wildly until she grins like the Cheshire cat.

"You cannot believe how relieved I am," Edward says.

"I can. Oh, we have to celebrate this!"

"Absolutely. Ben and I have to go through a lot of stuff before we leave, but I think it's actually kind of good for him to be thrown into it. And I'll be home by eight," he adds gently.

"I'll cook something," I say, giddy and thrilled.

"You do that," he chuckles. "I'll bring dessert."

"Just bring yourself," I murmur raunchily, "and I'll have you for dessert." Only then do I realize that his sister is sitting across from me, and I clamp my hand over my mouth.

Alice grins.

"I love you," I whisper.

"I love you too," he replies. "Both of you. See you tonight."

"Tonight," I murmur, ending the call and blushing as I look up.

"I take it things are going well?" Alice says.

"Almost too well," I sigh dreamily. "I can't believe he did that, Ali."

"See? You'll be fine!"

=====oOo=====

For dinner, I make pasta with a creamy sauce of salmon and parsley. For the first time since I have started to cook, I am really happy with a dish I made. More important to me, Edward looks impressed when I serve it, and moans when he takes the first bite.

"Mmm, that's perfect, Bella!"

"Don't expect me to cook every day now," I tease. "You'll soon have the time to do that again!"

Edward grins while he chews blissfully. I bought some Riesling for him to go with the food, having given Jasper a call to help me. Edward seems perfectly content with my choice.

He recounts today's events in detail for me, and we're both delirious with the way things are going. The board welcomed Demetri's decision, agreeing with him that the idea reflected family friendliness and a modern outlook.

"Well, it definitely is a mature decision," I say. "And only a man who is very sure about his own priorities could have made it."

"Hm," Edward muses, his fingers playing with mine on the table. "Let's see how Carlisle reacts to that. He'll probably freak."

"He'll have to respect that it is the best decision for you. For _us_. You're not him."

Edward smiles crookedly, his eyes crinkling.

"Thank you for the onesie."

I accept that he's changing the subject.

"It was so cute that I couldn't not buy it."

"Imagine someone being able to fit into that tiny thing…" He inclines his head, his smile only getting bigger.

"Alice gave us a copy of your family tree," I say. "If you want, we might have a look at that later."

"Yes." Edward gets up and walks around the table, pulling me into his arms. "D'you want dessert first?"

We actually do have dessert, which is a delicious mini cheesecake, and while we – well, I, mostly – have it, sitting on the sofa in the living room, and Edward sips another glass of wine, we take a look at the family tree.

"Grandma Elizabeth," Edward murmurs, his finger passing over my engagement ring.

"Elizabeth?"

I lean back into him, and his arms wrap around me. The baby taps softly, and I can feel Edward smile against my cheek.

"Lizzie," he says, gently stroking our little girl and me.

She knocks a little harder, which makes us laugh.

"She likes it," Edward giggles cheerfully.

He moves us around so he can put his head against my belly.

"Lizzie," he repeats softly. "Lizzie, Lizzie. Elizabeth Noelle?"

She seems to flop around.

"Do you think she can recognize your voice yet?" I wonder.

"The books say no," Edward shrugs. "But we don't care about what the books say, do we, Lizzie?"

Another light kick.

"I guess that settles it," I murmur.

Edward moves higher until we're side by side on the sofa.

"You think so?"

"She made the decision for us, don't you think?"

"I guess so," he mumbles against my cheek, giving me tiny butterfly kisses. I can feel him relax against me, his hand on my belly, his face close to mine, his breath evening out. He must be dog tired after his day. After the last weeks, really.

I lightly massage his scalp and he sighs contentedly, dozing off in my arms.

My heart literally expands with all the love it holds, and as I close my eyes, my breath falls into rhythm with Edward's and, I suppose, our little girl's.

=====oOo====

Three days later, we're in a cab on our way to meet Alice and Jasper at the airport.

Edward looks more relaxed than I have seen him in a long time. The past few days were extremely stressful for him, working with Ben to help him with the new position, doing his usual duties and performing surgery as well.

Now he's in jeans and a pale blue shirt, his clothes stating clearly that he is off duty. He didn't button his shirt at the neck, and I love the way his chest hair peeks out. I kiss his cheek and Edward smiles at me.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing," I reply. "I'm just happy." I snuggle into his arm, and Edward kisses my temple.

"Looking forward to seeing your dad and Sue?"

"Yes," I say. "Yes."

_Aaaand_ cue to the stupid hormones making me teary again.

Edward kisses my nose.

"Want to cry again, Momm_y_?"

"Shut up," I sniffle and laugh.

He pulls me closer.

"I'm looking forward to seeing them too," he whispers. "Charlie will be the cutest granddad ever…"

"I know," I reply, blowing my nose with the tissue he hands me.

"And I cannot fucking wait to see you in that dress… Ali sent me a picture of her drawing, and…" He swallows. "You will be spectacular."

"I like seeing you in a tux too…"

My tears are forgotten as I capture his plump lower lip with mine.

"We'll just relax," he murmurs. "That's what we need right now…"

He sighs and puts his chin on top of my head.

That's when I remember the email about the guest list again. I still haven't told him.

**EDWARD**

We have boarded the plane, the signs are off and Bella has lifted the armrest between us. Her head is over my heart, her fingers entwining with mine. She's getting ready to nap.

I kiss her brow and close my eyes as well. My breath slows down and I am relaxing into Bella's warmth when the sound of the flight attendant's voice stirs me awake again, but I think she only asked someone whether they wanted more champagne. I open my eyes for a second and see my sister watching me with a frown.

I close my eyes again.

**BELLA**

Dad and Sue collect us at Sea-Tac.

I cry when I hug them, but they're such happy tears.

Dad keeps shaking his head as he considers my baby bump, his dark eyes shining with happiness.

"He's been shopping for baby things for weeks now," Sue whispers into my ear, slipping her arm through mine as we make our way to the car. "And everything is pink!"

We both giggle, and Dad turns around and growls playfully, "I heard that!"

I swiftly grab his hand and kiss his cheek.

"I can't wait to see everything, Daddy."

"Well, I doubt we'll have a lot of time for that. Seth has set up a busy schedule for the next days."

"Yes," Alice nods and starts to list the plans she and Seth have been making. "Tonight, we're having dinner with the two couples at the Blue Mansion. Since they are such party poopers, there won't be any bachelor's parties, but we're having drinks at the hotel. Tomorrow morning after breakfast we'll have a last check-up on our dresses _and tuxes_…" She winks at Charlie who grumbles something about a monkey suit. "Then it's cocktails with family and friends before the rehearsal dinner." This time, she gives me a look and a raised eyebrow, and I swallow.

Alice goes on telling us about the following days while Dad maneuvers the rented SUV through the Seattle traffic. Everyone who's not local is staying at the Lakeview Hotel, where the rehearsal dinner is also going to take place. Seth and Collin booked the Honeymoon Suite to spend their wedding night there before boarding the plane for Hawaii. Sam and Leah will leave after the wedding party and head to South Africa, where they will go on a safari.

I look out the window during the drive. I haven't been home since I moved to New York but for the one time when Edward and I visited two years ago, and every sight brings up a different memory. I sigh softly, I think, because Edward's hand wraps around mine, and his thumb strokes over my knuckles. The sky is a little cloudy, but the forecast for Saturday is good. Dad and Sue point out landmarks, and Jasper and Alice ask lots of questions. Edward joins into the conversation now and then, but is mostly quiet as he holds my hand.

Dad and Sue drop us off at the hotel after a half-hour drive; they will be back for dinner later. Dad gives me a long hug, and I can tell that he has missed me. I hope he and Sue will come soon after the baby is born because I miss him too.

"Wow," Edward says once we're in our room, which has a spectacular view over Green Lake. The water glitters despite the overcast sky, deeply blue and surrounded by blossoming trees.

"This is beautiful," Edward murmurs, pulling me to his front, his hands automatically settling on my stomach. We're silent for a few minutes, his cheek pressed against mine. He didn't shave this morning, enjoying the liberty of our small vacation. His stubble scratches me in a familiar, pleasant way.

"Do you want to lie down for a bit?" he asks. "Or, I don't know, take a bath? Have something to eat?" He kisses the corner of my mouth. His relief about his new work situation is touching, and I want to join him, but there's that nagging… _fact_ at the back of my head.

I swallow, which Edward mistakes for enthusiasm, since he is putting dozens of tiny kisses on my neck.

"Are you looking forward to it?" His warm breath caresses my skin. "Seeing Seth and Collin take that step?" He nibbles softly. "Dancing with me? Having cake? Seeing all your old friends?"

_Okay. Now or never._

"Edward…" I turn and slide my arms around his neck.

He smiles and nuzzles my nose with his. Before he can kiss me, I draw back.

"Edward, there's something…"

"Something?" His eyes are warm and relaxed, and there's that lopsided half-smile.

"Yeah, um…" I swallow again.

_Damn, why didn't I tell him at home instead of ruining our afternoon. Right now, we might be naked and he could be feeding me grapes from the complimentary fruit basket!_

"It's… it's about the old friends," I say, my voice thick. "And the family thing… I'm afraid that, you know, um, my ex…" I heave a big sigh. "_Jacob_. He'll be there, being Seth and Leah's cousin and stuff…"

_Urgh. I feel sick right now. _

Edward looks at me for a second. His green eyes don't tell me what's going on in his mind.

And then he kisses me softly.

"I know," he says. "I mean, I expected that. After all, he's their cousin." He thoughtfully purses his lips, which makes his nose crinkle. "You're worried about that, aren't you?"

I nod.

"Why?" he asks.

"Because I'm afraid that meeting him might catapult me back," I say, "into times I don't want to remember."

"Bella," Edward says, and his expression is very serious, and very loving. He takes my face in his hands and kisses me softly before he continues. "You're not that girl anymore. You're strong. You've fought so many battles since you came to New York, and I won't even start on the ones you fought before. You'll be a mom soon." He kisses me again. "Just realize your own strength, Isabella Swan."

"Cullen," I mumble through my tears.

Edward's soft lips melt with mine, but he's not done.

"We love each other, right?"

"Yes…" I capture his lips for another second.

"You don't miss this asshole, right?"

I slap his chest because we both know that I am not going to grace his ludicrous question with an answer.

"So… what are you afraid of? You will not be catapulted back into your earlier life by seeing him. Because your real life is very tangible." He touches my belly, caressing it gently. "And, by the way," he adds, touching my forehead with his, "so am I."

"You're tangible, huh?" I can't help but smile through my tears.

He kisses me, tender lips and tickly stubble.

"In every way, Bella Cullen," he whispers.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you liked it! It only takes a second and means so much to me! **

**Thank you to all of you reviewing regularly – you guys are the best!**


	27. Flower Maiden

**A/N:**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**My stories wouldn't be the same without my wonderful beta, dellaterra. **

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 27: **Flower Maiden**

**BELLA**

I'm laughing so hard that I'm literally afraid I'll wet myself.

We're having dinner with the family, and Seth is entertaining us with some of the things he experienced during his quest for the perfect wedding.

It's so good to be with everyone, especially Dad and Sue, and I didn't get to see a lot of Seth either. Seeing him so happy makes my heart do a little dance. That, in combination with the prospect of Edward's new work situation, has me very relaxed and cheerful.

After dinner, we return to the hotel and have cocktails at the plush bar. A huge fireplace dominates the room, which is lit by dozens of little lamps and candles. Armchairs and couches are placed by the windows overlooking Green Lake. I'm chatting with Sue while sipping on my "Safe Sex on the Beach." She wants to hear everything about the baby, and I suddenly realize that Edward and I will be the only ones to give her grandchildren, since Leah and Sam don't want kids, and Seth and Collin – well, they might adopt, I guess. Some day. I don't even know if this is something that Collin wants, though I know that Seth would love to have children. He is going to spoil our daughter rotten.

"We're starting childbirth classes in three weeks," I tell Sue.

"Oh, yes, do that," she nods. "By all means. I think it can really help you with the pain."

"I'm afraid of that," I admit. "Just not knowing what to expect… that's hard."

"It'll be okay, Bella." She takes my hand. "You've gone through worse, I think. You're strong. And you have Edward."

"Huh?" Hearing his name mentioned, Edward turns around to us.

"We're talking about having babies," I say, and Edward smiles immediately.

"I can't wait to have her with us," he tells Sue, whose black eyes are warm and very approving. He moves closer so he can lightly stroke my belly. "We finally decided on a name," he says. "Did Bella tell you?"

"Yes," Sue replies, "and it's lovely."

I yawn. "Sorry."

"Maybe we should go to bed," Edward suggests. "After all, it's one a.m. in New York."

"I guess you're right," I say, stifling another yawn.

We tell everyone goodnight and I'm relieved when I can lie down on our huge, luxurious bed. It's been a long day.

I caress my belly, talking nonsense to our little girl, who has woken and is moving around.

Edward joins me on the bed, dressed in his pajama pants, applying moisturizer to his eyes. Yes, my husband will be thirty-nine in a few weeks, and he doesn't like the fact that he's getting older.

"Hey," he murmurs, resting his face against the side of my stomach. "How do you feel?" He eyes me through long lashes, putting small kisses on my belly.

"I'm fine," I say. "Just tired." I sigh and lick my lips.

"What?" Edward chuckles.

"And I would _kill _for ice cream right now."

Edward moves until we're face to face.

"I don't think homicide will be necessary, love. I'll just call room service."

"Isn't that very, I don't know, _decadent_?"

Edward smiles and kisses me, his soft lips lingering for a moment.

"What flavor?" he mumbles against my lips, his fingers brushing over the side of my breast.

"Banana," I sigh. "With chocolate sprinkles…"

Edward slowly runs his tongue over my lower lip.

"Do you want some whipped cream with it?" His hot breath makes me shudder. Or maybe it's his finger, circling my nipple through the material of my nightgown.

"Yes," I moan.

"Yes," Edward repeats against my mouth, and then sits up very suddenly. I whine a little at the loss of his warm lips. Edward grabs the phone and asks for room service while his fingers draw lazy patterns on my shoulder and collarbone.

I close my eyes and listen to him as he orders the ice cream for me.

"Just a second," he says. "Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want chocolate sauce as well?"

Never opening my eyes, I lick my lips.

"Yes, please," he says into the telephone. "Thank you."

"Wait!" I cry out, sitting up before he can end the call.

Edward raises one eyebrow, watching me with amusement.

"Can you ask them for some pickles too?"

Edward pretends to make a gagging noise, but adds the order.

He grins when he hears the response.

"That's right… Yes… Yes." He laughs softly. "That would be great. Thank you so much."

He puts down the receiver, still smiling, and pulls me into his side. He kisses my head.

"The gentleman at the other end guessed right away that we have a case of pregnancy cravings. Told me I was lucky you didn't ask for strawberries with ketchup, which his wife did when she was expecting."

"Now, that sounds yummy!"

I grin and move as if to take the phone again.

"No, you don't!" Edward laughs, tackling me on the bed and kissing my face all over while he tickles me. His tickles are lighter than they used to be, but I'm still giggling with delight.

By the time a knock resounds on the door, we're making out like teenagers.

Edward gets up and opens it, returning with a little breakfast trolley. I can't help but laugh out loud. I've never seen pickles arranged this ritzy, laid out on fine bone china and decorated with parsley and chives. The ice cream is on a gold-rimmed plate, drops of sauce sprinkled around. The real chocolate sauce is in an extra boat, and it is hot. There is also an arrangement of crackers with various dips, and a bowl with chocolates.

"Wow," I sigh. "This looks so good…"

Settling against the headboard, Edward begins to feed me spoons of heavenly banana ice cream, and I sigh happily after each bite. I think, though, that he does it on purpose when a small piece lands on my chest.

"Oops." He grins. "I'm so sorry. Let me clean that off."

He dips his head and licks it off in the most… _thorough_ way. He even cleans areas that have never seen ice cream before.

While I enjoy Edward's attention, I manage to locate the plate, which is in serious danger of being knocked off the bed. I scoop up a bit of whipped cream.

Silly Edward, always wearing just the pants of his pajamas. Which gives me great access.

"Oops," I giggle. "I think I dropped a bit of my dessert. You know what a glutton I am right now, so I don't want to waste it…"

Since I "dropped" the bit of cream low on Edward's stomach, I need to remove his pants so I can lick off every last bit of my dessert.

Edward moans when he feels the tip of my tongue. Nothing actually landed on his cock, but it tastes sweet all the same. I twirl my tongue around. Mmm. I wrap my fingers around the base, his moans spurring me on. I lick and suck. And Edward begins to writhe around, his hands in my hair, his hips bucking up.

"Isabella… Ohh… Oh, my God… Yes…"

The dessert plate lands on the floor with a loud clunk, but neither of us cares.

I grab his hips and speed up. Edward's groans become more desperate, and I can feel him coming, his hands tightening on my head, his moves becoming erratic. Seconds later, he tightens and comes hotly into my mouth.

Feeling him soften, I release him slowly and kiss him, which makes Edward shudder pleasantly.

"Oh, fuck," he wheezes. "You'll be the death of me…"

I rest my head on his belly.

"Baby," he sighs, gently stroking my hair, "I wanted to give_ you _dessert…"

"You did not just say that," I chuckle and kiss his hot and rather hairy skin.

"I was dessert?"

"Mmm-hmm." I bite him gently.

"Then I want a fucking dessert too, and _now_," he growls, flipping me around and kissing a path until his face is between my legs and I am moaning with pleasure.

**EDWARD**

I know how nervous Bella is as we make our way into the dining room of our hotel.

This morning, she asked me to call Alice about the fitting session. Her dress was perfect, Bella said.

So we stayed in bed and had a wonderful time.

Breakfast in bed, watching cartoons, kissing, cuddling, showering, napping. I massaged her feet and she won at Scrabble. We had a wonderful time.

But I could tell that Bella was stalling. We avoided the subject of her ex, but I know that it's about him. And I want to take that load off her shoulders.

Bella's fingers tighten on mine as she smiles at me, drawing a big breath.

"Let's go."

I catch her lips with mine.

"Hey. We'll be okay, right?"

"Yes," she whispers. "I'm sorry. I'm just nervous. "

"Bella." I take her hands and kiss them.

We're standing in the hallway. People are laughing and making their way into the room.

"I'm sorry I'm being such a sissy," she sighs. "I'll be okay."

"You look amazing," I whisper into her ear, because she does. She's wearing a lavender-colored chiffon dress with a silk belt under her breasts, her adorable bump clearly visible.

"Bells!"

Charlie and Sue have arrived, an unfamiliar sight in a suit and evening gown. After hugs and kisses are shared, we all enter the banquet hall, where approximately fifty people are already chatting and laughing over cocktails and champagne. A waiter welcomes us with a tray holding drinks and while Sue and I grab a glass of champagne, Bella opts for berry juice. It looks like stored blood to me, but I won't tell her that.

"Do you guys have beer?" Charlie asks, at which the waiter smiles and offers to get him one.

We're standing in a little group, and we are soon joined by Alice and Jasper. My sister is wearing a purple cocktail dress and a pair of polka-dotted pumps. While Bella and Sue fall into a conversation, Charlie compliments Alice on her outfit. My father-in-law has a soft spot for my sister, which is rather sweet since they are so very different. Charlie is the epitome of quiet and respectable, his dark eyes holding the same warmth and intelligence that Bella's have. Alice, on the other hand, is bubbly and chipper.

Jasper seems to share my amusement, grinning behind his whiskey sour.

It's a lovely party, a piano player entertaining us with soft melodies, waiters presenting little delicacies. Bella introduces me to some of her and Seth's old friends, a guy named Kevin and his wife Connie, and Molly and Quil, who studied art with Seth. Brady and Jared, Seth's friends from New York, are also here, so we never have a boring moment.

Bella seems to have relaxed. Maybe her ex decided to skip the event?

I feel her hand at my elbow.

"Excuse me for a minute," she murmurs, heading in the direction of the bathroom.

**BELLA**

Oh no.

_Oh no, no, no!_

I was just away for a second, peeing, and who is the first person I see when I get back?

Jacob Black.

I know that there's no reason for me to be nervous. I'm married, I'm happy, I'm pregnant. As a matter of fact, circumstances couldn't be better. Nothing could make it more obvious: _I am over Jake._

Still, my hands get sweaty and I feel jittery, and not in a good way. I know it's no use to pretend I haven't seen him, because the moment will come anyway. I'd rather get it done with.

He has spotted me already, walking in my direction with a huge smile, showing his very white teeth. This is the first time I've seen him in almost four years. Whenever I used to think about this moment, I imagined it to be full of meaning, relief, or shock.

One thing, I never expected.

I feel nothing.

**EDWARD**

I'm shaking with laughter as Sam and Leah tell us about some of their experiences with the wild animals they work with, when I feel my sister's hand on my arm.

"Ali, sweets," I say," you have to listen to this. They worked with a racoon that –"

"Edward," she says, her tone totally unusual for Alice. She nods her chin in the direction of the entrance door. My eyes search for a moment, and then I see them: Bella, beautiful and glowing but looking uncomfortable, talking to a tall guy with jet-black hair. He's dressed in a dark suit, his bulky frame straining against the material.

Looking at Alice once more, her eyes confirm what I know already.

"Excuse me," I mutter, hearing Alice start chatting with Sam and Leah as I walk over to Bella.

She looks relieved when she sees me. The dude doesn't see me coming.

"Bella, there you are. I was looking for you, love."

Putting my arm around her, I place one hand on our baby and kiss her temple.

"Edward." She leans into me for a moment before straightening up. I can feel her tension.

"Edward, meet Jacob Black. Jake, this is my husband, Edward."

If I didn't feel so protective of my wife and baby right now, and so disgusted with this guy, I'm sure I would find the situation comical. The way we're engaged in a staring contest is a bit like a clichéd Western. I'm two or three inches taller than he is, but he is a lot more muscular, the veins on his neck protruding slightly. Steroids, maybe? His black hair is short, and his skin has the same olive tone as Seth and Leah's. He has a dimple in his chin.

"Hi," he says, offering me his hand. "Jake."

"Hello," I say. "I'm Edward."

His black eyes examine me. Really, it's like we were fourteen year-olds.

"Congratulations," he says, "on the baby. And on marrying the most gorgeous lady there is."

"Thank you."

"Jake was just telling me that he opened another store." Bella tells me, her hand softly brushing over mine on her belly.

I don't know what to say. I'd punch his face for treating Bella the way he did. I may not know a lot about him, but what I know makes me despise him.

_Fuck his store._

"Well, I wanted to get on a little, you know?"

And then for a second, I can actually see the charm about him. It's the boyish, carefree attitude, and those puppy-dog eyes.

I realize that I would be doing Bella a discredit if I believed he was completely awful; after all, she was with him for four years.

"Um, do you still have that cat of yours, Bella?"

"Of course." Bella's voice has a sharpness I'm not used to. "Did you think I'd throw him out when I moved to New York?"

"Um, no… I meant…"

"What, Jake? That you trade in your companion once something easier comes along the way?"

I run my fingers up and down Bella's spine, and after a moment, I can feel her calm down.

"So… Bella tells me you're a doctor?"

"Yes, at Lenox Hill, in Manhattan."

"Edward is head of cardiovascular surgery," Bella says, lightly squeezing my arm.

"Wow." Jacob nods his head, showing a row of ultra-white teeth.

He actually looks a bit sad, or wistful, before smiling again.

"So tomorrow's the big day, huh?"

Happily, at that moment, Sam clinks a spoon against his glass and asks us to come to the dining hall at the other end of the hotel lobby.

We bid Jacob good-bye and Bella slips her arm through mine as we follow the other guests.

"Are you okay?"

Bella nods and smiles at me. "Go

od God," she murmurs, lightly shaking her head. "I thought you were about to take out your cocks and compare sizes!" Her eyes twinkle good-naturedly.

"Oh," I rasp into her ear. "And who would have won that contest?"

She giggles and slaps my arm, but that's only because we are nearing her dad and Sue.

I'm relieved that the encounter doesn't seem to have disturbed her too much.

While we sit down with Jasper and Alice, I scan the room. As I expected, Jacob is not seated anywhere near us. Instead, we're with the other maids and men of honor and their companions: Ted and Allegra, Tom and Eddie, and Nick and Anna.

The bride and grooms are sharing a table with their respective sets of parents. Charlie looks over to us, smiling under his mustache. Bella is chatting with Tom and Eddie, laughing about some joke, while the waitress pours us water and white wine. The first course is served, a spinach salad with warm goat cheese. Bella gets her own version with walnuts and cherry tomatoes, and I am quite touched that Seth and Alice obtained information on what my pregnant lady is allowed to eat.

Conversation at our table flows easily, and while Bella seems to become great friends with Tom and Eddie, I chat with Nick and Anna. She is Leah's maid of honor and works as a teacher, and by the time the lamb chops and potatoes arrive, we are in a discussion about the poor standards of school cafeterias.

Bella inhales her dessert – an almond soufflé with raspberry sauce. She might be stealing a bit from my plate as well.

"There's not even any chocolate in that," I whisper into her ear.

"I don't care. I need something sweet." She turns to kiss me swiftly, and murmurs, "Since I can't have you right now…"

"Bella!" I pretend to be scandalized, but chuckle happily against her lips.

The party is starting to get more relaxed, people leaving the table and circulating. From the corner of my eye, I can see Jacob as he talks with Leah. I don't know if he's still with the girl he dumped Bella for. Maybe not. I know that Seth keeps relations with his cousin to a minimum, never having forgiven him for the way he treated his best friend.

Bella puts a light kiss on my lips.

"Would you mind very much if I went to our room? I'm dead tired…"

"Um, yes, I mean, no. "

I look into her eyes.

"I don't mind if you stay," she says quickly. She kisses my lips. "Not at all. Have another drink…"

"Bella… I don't want another drink. I want you to be okay."

"I am okay. " She smiles, but I don't believe her. "I just want to put my legs up."

I suspect that she really just doesn't want to run into Jacob again, and I understand that.

"Let's go," I say.

Fifteen minutes later, we're back in our room, a yawning Bella plopping down on the bed. No one seemed surprised that we left the party shortly after ten. Tomorrow will be a long day.

I slip off my jacket and undo my tie. I take off my shoes and socks and lie down on my stomach next to her, propping up on my elbows and looking at Bella. She has her eyes closed, looking so beautiful that my heart clenches.

"That was weird, right?" She opens her eyes to check my reaction.

"A little. What did it feel like?"

I pass my fingers over her neck, lightly tickling her ear. She squirms and grins cutely.

"I don't know," she says, getting serious again. "I felt detached. And angry." She chuckles. "You know, Jake hated Cedric, and the feeling was mutual. Cedric sometimes peed in his shoes."

I snort. "Serves him right. How can anyone hate our sweet Master Cedric?"

"Isn't it peculiar that this is what I'm thinking about?"

"I don't know," I murmur. "Cedric is a pretty smart guy." I kiss her chin. "No, really. I don't want to make light of it." I look into her eyes. "I'm sorry. I… I guess I'm not sure what I should say… What you want to talk about…"

Bella sighs deeply. "I'm not sure I even want to talk about him right now. The hurt he caused me… I'm over that. That's what I realized earlier. He is _so_ in the past. It's a lifetime ago."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that, Mrs. Cullen," I say. I know, of course, what she means. I have an ex-wife. I have a past.

Bella curls her arms around my neck and pulls me close. Her huge eyes are shimmering in the warm light from the bedside lamps.

"I never thought I'd be as happy as I am with you," she whispers. Her fingers play with the hair at the back of my neck. "So loved. So protected."

"I love you," I murmur. Our lips melt in a long kiss. It isn't sexual, but filled with tenderness, celebrating our love.

I run my hand over her belly and feel our baby move.

Later, she snuggles into my arms under the covers, sighing as she relaxes. I kiss her head.

"I love you," I whisper, realizing that she's already falling asleep.

I know that we're going to meet her dickhead of an ex again tomorrow, and though I'm not looking forward to it, I know that Bella and I are stronger than anything he could say or do.

We have come a long way from the two brokenhearted individuals that met at Alice Cullen's party more than three years ago.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N**

**Thank you for reading.**

**Please leave me some love and take a second to review!**

**oOo**

**My Age of Edward oneshot _Love is the Best Medicine_ made it to the Judges' Choice selection and I am one happy girl. Thanks to everyone who voted!**

**Thank you, dellaterra, for your support, your humor, your warm words and your generosity. I'm so lucky to have found you.**


	28. From Alpha to Omega

**A/N:**

**Some of you who read _You Were There_ were disappointed that there was no account of Edward and Bella's wedding, This is me trying to make it up to you! To those of you who wondered what would happen with Bella meeting Jake… Here you go.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**The marvelous and brilliant dellaterra is my beta!**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 28:** From Alpha to Omega**

**BELLA**

He's cute.

So cute.

Deeply asleep. Mad hair and pouty lips. Snuggled up against my left breast, his arm is wound around my belly. Our baby.

Cute.

But I need to get up because I have to pee.

I kiss the tip of Edward's beautiful nose and begin to disentangle from his grip. He makes a grouchy sound, but I win, and make my way to the bathroom.

I need to pee. I always need to pee.

And oh, what a wonderful relief!

I start the shower and undress. The warm water is wonderful as it runs down my body.

Relaxing, I allow myself a flashback to last night.

_Seeing Jake again._

_I didn't feel anything when I met him, face to face, which is rather sad, I guess. _

_I felt nothing._

_And then, Edward's arms around me…_

… Edward's arms around me.

I squeak with surprise.

"Hello, my beautiful wife."

I relax into his arms. He kisses my ear as he steps under the hot spray with me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

I just smile. I love the way his hard, wet body feels against mine. He sweeps my hair over my shoulder and kisses my neck while his hand finds a place on my belly.

"How do you feel?" he asks, his voice still slightly gravelly from sleep.

"I'm good," I nod, and turn around in his arms. I kiss his wet, stubbly chin. "I hope I'll still fit into the dress," I add, smiling.

Edward begins to protest sweetly but I shut him up with a soft kiss. I squeeze some of his L'Occitane "Eau des Beaux" shower gel into my hands and start to soap his upper body. Mmm… Soapy foam building in his chest hair, his skin glistening. I pour more shower gel into my hands and run them under his arms, lathering up his hair there.

I will never understand why men shave their armpits, or wax their chests. Because my Edward's hair is sexy as hell.

His crooked grin right now is very sexy too. He watches what I'm doing, his eyes darkening as I begin to take care of his nether regions. I watch too, licking my lips as he hardens in my hands.

"Baby," he whispers. His fingers run down my side, settling on my behind while his other arm draws me closer. I continue my movements, Edward's little moans spurring me on. He bends his head and kisses me, softly at first, becoming hungry and passionate after a moment. He slips his hand between my thighs and I hook my leg around his, yelping as I almost slip and lose my balance, but Edward holds me securely.

"I've got you, baby," he murmurs. "I've got you."

He looks beautiful, drops of water in his lashes, his wet hair sticking to his forehead. His eyes show nothing but love and tenderness. I'm afraid I dampened the sexy atmosphere from a few moments ago with my clumsiness. Edward nuzzles my nose with his and kisses me sweetly.

Instead of continuing to feel each other up, he washes my hair, and I wash his. We end up cuddling and kissing a lot until Edward helps me out of the shower and wraps me in a fluffy towel.

"We'll finish this later," I announce gravely, watching him as he slips another towel around his hips. He looks mouthwatering, damp and muscular, my favorite trail of hair like a path of promise.

"Oh, we will," he growls playfully, lightly biting my neck.

Since the wedding couples are already in preparations for the day, we meet Dad and Sue for breakfast. It's a lovely day so we have it on the hotel's terrace. Green Lake is glittering in the morning sun.

"Alice wants us to join her at the hotel's spa for hair and makeup in an hour," I tell Sue, who nods her head.

"I know; she announced it yesterday." Sue chuckles.

The ceremony at the Rose Garden in Woodland Park will start at four, and it's only half past nine now.

"So what are you two going to do?" I ask the men, accepting the glass of orange juice Edward brought me from the breakfast buffet.

He looks carefree and rested, and more relaxed than I have seen him in a long time. His hair is shiny and rather messy in the sunlight, and his eyes are lively and deeply green. He grins.

"Charlie already offered to take me fishing."

"Yeah," Dad answers good-naturedly, "but we won't have enough time for that."

Sue rolls her eyes and I giggle. Charlie and Edward went fishing the first time we visited him and Sue in Seattle two years ago. When they returned, both were more than tipsy, and they had caught zero fish.

"Charlie will show Jasper and me around a bit," Edward says. "And we'll join you around two for the photos."

"Oh yeah, right," I remember. My brain is a sieve these days, retaining only the most important info. Food. Peeing. Sex.

Jasper joins us and we chat a bit more before it's time for us to show up at the spa area. One room has been booked for makeup, and another for dressing. Soft music welcomes us, and the hostess shows us inside.

I can't help but laugh when the door opens. Alice is flitting to and fro, talking energetically into her cell phone, while Seth and Leah seem to be arguing in a corner of the room. Collin is having his fingernails done, drowning out the chaos with the earplugs of his iPod.

Sam is nowhere to be seen, and a girl in a black suit with a name tag from the hotel offers me a glass of champagne. There are flowers everywhere, and a big flip chart with today's schedule is placed between the two makeup tables.

I politely decline the champagne and make my way to Seth and Leah. Seth has a deep frown line between his brows, and I can tell that he is furious.

"Hey." I stop in front of them.

"Bells." Seth turns and heaves a big sigh.

"Hi, Bella." Leah kisses my cheek and walks away.

"What's going on?" I look up into Seth's black eyes.

"Just nerves." His lips are tight.

"Come on, Sethy. I can tell something's wrong."

"I wanted to un-invite Jake."

"Oh my God! Why?"

"Bells, it was obvious last night that you felt uneasy with him there. You and Edward left early, and…" Seth shakes his head. "I just want this day to be perfect for all of us. And Jake has no business in that."

"Oh, Sethy. That's so sweet."

He shrugs one shoulder. "Sure, he's our cousin but, but neither Leah nor I have anything to do with him anymore. But Leah argued that Grandma Becky would have a heart attack if we forbade him to come, and I told her that you are more important to me than Grandma Becky."

Seth hangs his shoulders, looking totally downtrodden.

"Thanks." Standing on my toes, I kiss his cheek, and he hugs me close to him.

"I love you, Bells."

"I love you too, Sethy. Can you promise me to just relax now? It's okay if Jake shows up. I'll just ignore him, and you might do the same. This is your day, you know, and I want you to enjoy it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Yes, darling. Please. _Your day_. Yours, and Collin's and Leah's and Sam's. Don't worry about me." And I smile, thinking back to earlier this morning, when Edward caught me before I could slip, and held me securely, which is symbolic for us, I guess.

"I'll be okay," I promise. "Can we _please_ talk about my hair now?"

Seth giggles with delight, knowing perfectly well that I don't care much about this kind of thing. I think it's because I have to dress up and plaster my face with makeup for my job so frequently. Right now, I'm wearing flip-flops and a loose-fitting dress, my hair in a ponytail and my face bare of makeup.

He kisses my cheek and draws me toward the makeup tables, where Alice is chatting with Leah. Alice kisses me and introduces me to Gustavo, our makeup artist, and Max, who will do our hair. I sit down and let them work their magic.

Around noon, a light lunch is delivered to us, and I am helping myself to a second plate of mini-quiche and chicken salad when my phone beeps.

_Your dad wants to buy a fish-shaped bed for our Lizzie! Help!_

Chuckling, I type in my reply.

_**No effing way.**_

_Effing, Isabella?_

_**Need to get rid of four letter-words one of these days.**_

_You hardly use them. Only in bed._

_**Are you complaining?**_

_Fuck, no! Love you. _

I'm still smiling by the time Gustavo puts on the finishing touches, and he has to tell me three times to stop so he can apply lipstick. I like the results when I look into the mirror. My hair is in an extravagant updo, small curls framing my face. The makeup is the way I like it, modest and natural, but my eyes are accentuated in various shades of black and grey.

Two hours later, the wedding party is transported to Woodland Park, where photos are taken. Already, there's a buzz of excitement in the air. The weather is perfect as we pose on the lawn. The photographer asks us for every possible combination: the wedding couples with and without the men and matrons of honor, the matrons of honor and their dates, the couples with their families… The list is endless.

Edward draws me into his arms as we stand off to the side, lightly chuckling into my ear when he sees my exasperated face.

"You look incredible," he murmurs. When he saw me earlier in my dress, his jaw dropped.

I must admit that it suits me nicely, the midnight blue silk complimenting my pale skin, the design flattering my curves. I catch Edward staring down my cleavage, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallows.

Just then the photographer calls us for a group shot, so I slip my hand into Edward's and we join the party.

When we're finished, things are getting serious and I take my place, and I think I must be more nervous than either of the wedding couples as I stand next to Seth, clutching the pillow with the rings.

The afternoon sun dips the beautiful Rose Garden in a warm light and my heart is close to overflowing when Seth and Collin take their places in front of the minister. Both are wearing tuxes, blue highlights accentuating their outfits. Seth looks so tense, and Collin seems even paler and thinner than usual.

Rows and rows of friends and family are watching as my best friend and his boyfriend of three years speak their vows, and the minister declares them a married couple. My eyes brim over with tears.

The second ceremony takes place directly afterward, but this time, I'm sitting down next to Edward, who takes my hand and kisses my temple. When Leah and Sam make their promises, I cry again, and so does Alice, who is sitting next to me. Considering that she and Jasper never want to get married, she sure likes to watch other people doing it – and helping them organize the event.

There's applause as the two couples make their way down the aisle, hundreds of rose petals raining down on them. When they reach the end of the aisle, they release four white doves from a cage.

I'm glad that Edward and I didn't have that kind of huge celebration, but I am touched by the corniness of it. Alice's grin is cheerful as she watches.

The reception starts in front of the large tent, and people congratulate the four newlyweds, sipping champagne and wandering about. Sue is still dabbing at her eyes, and though he tries to hide it behind his mustache, I know that Dad is touched as well, mumbling something about, "seeing all of the kids well."

I think I almost squeeze Seth to death when I offer my congratulations. I can't wait to see him open our gift: we booked them a romantic boat trip for their stay in Hawaii, complete with dinner, as well as a day at a spa and a snorkeling tour.

His eyes are shining with happiness, and I'm just so glad that he and Collin took this step.

Edward hugs them warmly and kisses Seth's cheek. I love that my man is so assured in himself and his sexuality that he can do this. I know tons of men who would never kiss another guy – let alone a gay one! Jake would rather have died. But Edward can, and he does, and both of us know who he's lusting after.

Me.

I grin at the thought, and toast with them. I even have a little sip of champagne from Edward's glass. I'm delirious at seeing my friends so happy.

Leah and Sam, I think, are in their own little bubble. She looks breathtaking in a long, cream-colored dress with splendid blue embroidery, her dark eyes reminding me so much of her brother's. Any weirdness that might have passed between us earlier is forgotten as we hug, the friendship we've shared for most of our lives stronger than the small trouble about my ex.

I spotted him already, and gave him a polite smile, at which he smiled back. I can't believe I never noticed that his teeth are much too white. He seems to be on his own, but I haven't heard any gossip about him, or whether he still is with his girlfriend.

By the time everyone sits down for dinner, I'm a bit nervous about my speech, and Edward, knowing me so well, leans in and grazes my ear with his lips as he whispers, "Do you want another sip?"

We're sitting at a table with Seth and Collin, Collin's parents Carl and Binnie, Jared, Brady, Alice, Jasper, and Collin's crazy Aunt Mary from Utah. She's a Mormon, and had a big fight with her husband Patrick about attending the wedding. Jasper is currently seducing her with his Southern charm.

"Do you think it would be okay?" I ask Edward in a low voice.

"We're talking about a sip, not a glass, right?" He kisses the corner of my mouth.

I sigh yearningly, but then I think of the doctor's appointment next week, and having another blood test, which brings me on the track that our baby has to deal with the medication I'm taking. I have come to the lowest possible dose, but I'm still worried, since the subject is so under-researched.

I shake my head, and Edward's smile is sweet and understanding as he nods his head and rests his forehead against mine for a second.

Collin's father Carl gets up for the first speech, and we end our private moment. Edward's arm is splayed over the back of my chair as we listen to his very warm and loving words about his son, and having won a second son with Seth's arrival into their family. When he's finished, everyone toasts and the first course is served.

I happily dig into it, only now noticing how hungry I am. I always seem to be hungry these days. We have a salad of wild herbs with warm mushrooms.

"This is so delicious!" Aunt Mary exclaims, her cheeks rosy from the wine.

I always thought pregnant women and Mormons weren't allowed to drink.

The next speech is made by Sue, sitting at the table next to ours with Leah and Seth. She talks about how Harry would have loved to see this day, and how happy she is that Charlie is here to share it with them and I don't even _get _all of her speech because I'm crying.

"It's the most wonderful thing to see the family expand," she finishes, her motherly voice full of warmth. An embarrassingly loud sniffle escapes my lungs, and Sue includes me spontaneously. "Yes, Bella, I'm also talking about you and Edward!"

Everyone laughs, and I'm embarrassed further, but Alice practically beams.

"I loved that! So clever and natural!"

After I've made a trip to the bathroom, the second course is served: asparagus cream soup that melts in my mouth.

And then it's my turn.

The wedding planner who really only assists Alice, handing me the mic as I get up. For a second, I'm self-conscious, but after the first words have left my lips, I'm in stage mode. My speech isn't long but, I'd like to think it's heartfelt. I speak about Seth and Leah and me growing up together and then, one after the other, moving to New York, where we all found our true loves. When I finish, I look into Seth's deep, dark eyes.

"I want you to have a long and happy life together, in which you are able to bask in the highest heights, and hold each other during the lows. You have found your missing halves, and that's not a given…" I pause shortly, wondering for a second how I ever ended up so lucky myself. "Cherish that. Cherish each other. What you have is so rare and special." I swallow, and raise my flute of apple juice. "Here's to the bride and grooms."

There's applause, and I know that my cheeks are hot as I sit down.

"That was bee-ootiful, Bella!" Alice kisses my cheek, and the rest of the table joins in. Aunt Mary grins happily.

The third course is a filet of sole with strawberries, followed by honey-marinated breast of duck. I enjoy every last bit of my scrumptious dinner.

The sun is setting and people are getting loosened up, laughter and conversation filling the tent. Alice is tipsy, finally relaxing after her long day.

Edward doesn't drink a lot. He claims that it would be unfair to do it when I can't.

_What can I say? My husband is a gentleman if ever there was one._

Aunt Mary on the other hand is getting merry, clearly enjoying Jasper's innocent flirtation.

After an incredible nougat parfait, people get up to mingle and the band begins to play. The newlyweds start the first dance and when the melody segues into a Chopin waltz, Edward takes my hand and guides me to the dance floor.

He's a brilliant dancer, leading me easily and with a lightness that's surprising in a man his size. Though the pregnancy tends to make me klutzy, I'm still good on the dance floor. I lean my head against Edward's chest.

His lips are on my hair, on my brow, on my eyelids, as we gently sway with each other. I open my eyes, only now realizing I had them closed, and see Seth and Collin in a similar pose. Dad and Sue are sitting on the side – Charlie doesn't dance – smiling at each other.

I sigh blissfully, nuzzling my nose under Edward's chin.

"Do you have any idea how happy you make me?" I murmur.

"If it's only a tenth of the happiness you are giving me," he whispers, "you must be ecstatic."

"I am." I kiss his throat, and Edward pulls me even closer. We don't stop dancing for a long time, but at some point, I need to go to the bathroom, and when I return, Edward and Dad are discussing animal rights with Sam. I motion to Edward that I am going to take a little walk by myself, and he smiles, his lower lip ever so slightly pouty.

It's good to be alone for a moment. Wandering through the beautiful garden, I relax a little from the ballyhoo of the reception. Although everything smells like summer, it's getting a little chilly. Fortunately, I brought a wrap that matches my beautiful dress.

I need to get Alice a gift for designing this unique piece for me. I don't even want to imagine what it would have cost had I bought it from Saks or Bergdorf. Pity it won't fit me after the pregnancy.

_Well… who knows…_

I fondle my belly, and am answered by a gentle kick. "Hey," I say softly. "So your Uncle Sethy got married. Isn't that great?"

She kicks again, and I smile. I never know if she indeed recognizes my voice, or if it's mere chance, but she frequently replies when I speak to her.

The garden is beautiful, with hundreds of little lights in the trees and rose bushes. The music from the party tent is a little subdued by the trees surrounding me. I regret that Edward isn't next to me, but it's nice to be on my own for a second. Well, on my own with my daughter. I sit down on a little white wrought-iron bench to take the weight off my feet. I close my eyes and enjoy the cool night breeze, letting the images of today pass behind my eyes.

I caress my belly.

"Bella?"

My heart used to leap at the sound of this voice, but it doesn't anymore. If anything, I feel a little annoyed that he's disturbing my private moment with my baby.

"Jake."

"Can I sit down for a second?"

I nod.

He sits next to me, staring at his shoes.

"So… how are you?"

"I'm happy, Jake. Happier than ever before."

There's a strained silence before Jake speaks again.

"Look, Bella, I'm sorry for how things went. I... I was stupid."

I say nothing.

"And I regret that we never got a chance to talk afterward, but…"

"Never got a chance?" I repeat. "You_ left_ me, Jake. Because you were already _engaged_ to somebody else." My voice is quiet but strong.

"Yeah, and… I'm sorry. But, you know… It wasn't only me, I don't think."

I look at him, not quite able to believe that he is seriously doing this today.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, Bella, if you hadn't been so mopey all the time, always only working, if we'd been able to spend more time together, I don't think I'd have looked around in the first place."

I gasp and get up, my blood start to boil.

"You can't be serious. You are not telling me that –"

"I'm just saying. Things are never one-sided, are they? If you'd have given it some more effort… Anyway… It didn't work out between Mae and me, and… Hell, seeing you, Bells, I don't know, it did something to me… You are so beautiful…" He looks up at me from dark eyes, still boyish and charming, but I know that look, and I am repulsed.

My blood is so loud in my ears that I can't hear anything else for a moment. I'm dizzy.

"You," I say. "You left me for another girl because you were going to _marry_ her! After four years, Jake! _Four years_!" I'm so angry I want to rip him in two. "I was suffering from a very, very serious depression back then, which you never even _acknowledged_, even though I was in therapy, taking medication. You ended things with me without any warning, for God's sake!"

I'm breathing heavily, trembling with fury.

"Sure, sure," he says, and opens his mouth to go on, but I'm done.

This is Jacob at his worst – self-righteous and smug – and just so damn selfish and stupid.

"What do you…" I'm breathing hard. "_What_, Jake?"

"What the _fuck_ is going on here?" Edward's voice is low and restrained as he appears from nowhere.

I'm close to hyperventilating, but manage to speak.

"Jake was just telling me that the fact he waltzed off with another lady was _my_ fault, and that now…" I have to bend over, gripping at the bench because right now, I don't know whether to laugh or scream or vomit. "Now he's _interested_ in me again." The sound that leaves me is a sort of wheeze.

Edward is close to me in under a second, his arms enveloping me as he murmurs for me to sit down, but I protest and straighten up, claiming that I am okay.

"Are you _crazy?_" Edward then barks at Jake. "This woman is pregnant, for God's sake! She _needs_ to avoid stress. What sort of fuckhead idiotic dumb shit are you?"

"I… I was just… I…" Jake mumbles, embarrassed.

I'm still shaking, a few hot tears coursing down my cheeks.

Edward rubs my arm. "Come, we'll get you some water, okay?"

"Yes," I whisper.

"I don't want to see you near her again," Edward says, moving to turn with me in the direction of the path.

"Wait," I say. I look at Jake, and maybe for the first time, I see him for what he is. A narcissistic, immature and self-centered man. He looks at us with a spiteful expression. I don't even want to know what kind of crap he is going to tell his buddies about this encounter.

"You haven't changed one bit, Jake. I'm sorry for you. You're not the center of the universe, you know. And you know what? I don't care what you do, or how you are. I don't care if I'll ever see you again."

I feel sad saying it, but it's the truth.

I'm over him. So over him.

And with that, I wrap my arm around Edward's waist and we walk away.

**EDWARD**

That night, our lovemaking has a new level of trust and intensity, and I think that meeting her ex has actually been liberating both for Bella and for our relationship, bringing us even closer, chasing the ghost away.

"I love you," she moans softly when she comes on top of me, clinging to me, her round belly between us as she rides out every last spasm that shakes our bodies.

We fall asleep snuggled up close to each other, Bella's breathing slow and even as our hands entwine over her stomach. Our little girl knocks softly, and the last thing I know is that I have a huge smile on my face.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you so much to all of you who keep reviewing. You know who you are, and so do I! If I could, I'd give each and every one of you a kiss.**

**Reviewers will get a little sneak peek at chapter 29!**


	29. I Am Loved

**A/N:**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Dellaterra is my wonderful beta and keeps me from writing too much nonsense. Thank you as always, for your ideas and inspirations – I couldn't do it without you!**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 29**: I Am Loved**

**EDWARD**

"I don't know." Bella's smile is sweet and a little intimidated as she hands me the box. "It looks… interesting. How does this even work?"

"Mmm. It says you can save milk while breastfeeding. I think you're supposed to attach it to the breast you're not, well… nursing on to catch anything that's… um."

"Oh, Edward." Bella laughs and sighs at the same time as she hides her face in my chest. "I'm scared to death."

Wrapping my arm around her, I kiss Bella's hair, turning the box around.

"You'll be able to save money on nursing pads by using this," I inform her, and Bella groans.

It's a warm Thursday afternoon and after we left Katie's office, where Bella had her monthly check, we decided to shop for baby things. Being able to do this on a weekday afternoon is heaven. Ben is still learning the ropes of his new position, but so far, things are going fine. I'll need to work on Sunday, but it's okay if I get to have a whole day off during the week.

I put the box back on the shelf and draw Bella a little closer.

"Don't be scared, love. I'm sure that the birthing classes will help with exactly those kinds of questions. Lisa is great, and she has three kids of her own."

"She does?"

"Uh-huh." I kiss Bella's nose. "She told me the other day that she's looking forward to having us attend – she saw our name on the list."

"Does she do extra consultations for totally nervous mothers-to-be?" Bella asks with a self-deprecating smile.

The classes start in two weeks and will continue into August. We decided against a weekend course, both of us wanting to prepare as thoroughly as possible, not only for the birth, but also for the first weeks with a newborn.

As we continue our stroll through the aisles of Baby's First, we talk about what we still need. So far, we have chosen a cradle, a car seat, and a changing table, all in the same elegant ivory design. While we were away, Mom had the painters over. We both trusted her to do a great job – after all, it i_s_ her job – and we thought it might be good to air out the room for a couple of days so Bella wouldn't breathe in the paint.

When we returned, what used to be the crammed spare room next to our bedroom had become the sweetest nursery. Eggshell-colored walls with little ducks, yellow curtains, the fluffiest carpet and a cute chandelier. Esme had also taken the liberty to install a chest of drawers and a bassinet. The bassinet looks like a multi-tired wedding cake. Like a fairytale throne. In the corner by the window, a glider with a footrest had been set up. When I called Mom to thank her, and mentioned the rocking chair, I was told that it is, in fact, a glider. Huh.

Bella cried because she was so touched, reminding me once again of the fact that, once Lizzie is born, there will only be _one_ grandmother around.

A warmly glowing lamp had been set up next to the glider, and a little bookshelf on the wall was already set up with dozens of books, ranging from Kipling to Sendak and Potter, as well as _The Very Hungry Caterpillar _and_ Pat the Bunny. _As we wait for our baby, my old Winnie the Pooh is sitting in the chair, reading _The House at Pooh Corner_.

"I like this," Bella says, pulling me out of my reverie. I sometimes think I'm developing a pregnancy brain as well.

She's holding up another box.

"It's the Winnie the Pooh Bubble Maker."

"Bella," I smile, "I thought we were looking for a _perambulator_!"

"You're silly," Bella giggles.

"What?" I pull her into my arms. "Don't you think we might need a stroller?"

Bella smiles. She looks so beautiful, so happy. She's glowing.

She's also slipping her hands lower on my back until her fingers are splayed over the top of my butt.

I hum against her lips as we kiss softly.

"Do you know," she mumbles, "what I would like to do right now?"

"No…"

But my breath is catching.

"I would like you to push me against that shelf and…" She swallows. "Fuck me," she whispers against my lips.

"Bella… ung… You can't say stuff like this to me in a _baby _store…"

"I can't?" She runs her fingers into the back of my jeans, just a millimeter, but it makes my heart beat faster.

I capture her lips with mine and kiss her, my hand cupping her face. We're lost in our happy land when she starts to disengage from my arms, and I just want to ask her what's going on when I hear the ring tone of her phone.

"Sorry," she murmurs as she digs through her purse.

_Why does every woman I know have to search for her phone? Why don't they just put it in the back pocket of their pants? _

I look at Bella as she says hello to whomever is calling.

_Right. Dresses. _

She's wearing a rather short green sundress, and I adore the way her bump is showing. Now in her twenty-fifth week, she's getting rounder every day, and I love her in a way I never thought possible. I stare at her as she moves a few steps away from me, talking into the phone.

My thoughts drift back to this morning when we made love, the way her breasts looked as she was riding me into oblivion, and –

"Oh, God," Bella says into the phone. "Are you kidding me? Like, I don't know, Demi Moore? Eek!" she giggles. "Ashton must have been in preschool when she did that."

I watch her as she listens, biting on her thumbnail. She only adds snippets to the conversation.

"Yes, but…"

"And how would that work?"

"Really?"

I'm getting ever more curious, though I try to concentrate on the item in my hand.

WhyCry?_ will help you understand the needs of your baby quickly, analyzing the tone of his/her voice immediately._

I briefly wonder whether_ WhyCry_ would also help me analyze the reason for seeing those new moms and dads who bought the device crying over their bank account.

"Oh, um… Okay," Bella says. "Thank you, Laurent. Yeah, so do I. Bye, talk to you."

_Laurent?_

As in Laurent Franklin, Bella's agent?

Bella looks at me with saucer-like eyes as she closes her phone.

"What is it?" I rush over to where she's standing.

Sometimes, I wonder if my wife had eye-enlargement surgery, because no one's eyes can seriously be this huge.

And dark, and honest, warm, loving, bright…

"_Look! New York_ wants me to do a cover shoot with them," she says, blinking. "At first, I thought Laurent was joking, like they wanted a nude pregnant shot."

"And?"

"And it's nothing like that." An amused smile spreads over her face as she sees my expression. I guess I must be looking like a maniac, equally concerned and… interested.

"Edward, are you turned on by this?"

"N-no."

Bella giggles and grabs my hand.

"They want to shoot me in the park. Promoting summer dresses. He even suggested including Alice's dresses. Zero nudity. "

"Oh. Wow." And then, my brain processes her news and I hug her close and kiss her face.

"That's wonderful, love." I kiss her plump lips. "When are they doing it? Wow. You will be looking so beautiful."

"Shut up," she murmurs against my lips. "and let's go home."

**BELLA**

Edward Cullen is trying to teach me how to cook.

Maybe he should have employed a really horrible and smelly chef, because with the way he's standing behind me, long fingers wrapped around mine, it's a bit hard to concentrate on the task.

"Okay." Warm breath stroking my neck. "We peel the carrot…"

"Peel the carrot," I sigh. The evil man kisses my ear.

"Like this…"

Edward peels the carrot and I get turned on by the way his long and beautiful fingers move while his soft breath tickles my skin. His arms are on both sides of me as he works, his light stubble scratching me softly.

"Now," he continues, "we dice the tomatoes."

The time has come to wiggle my ass against him.

"Bella? Are you listening?"

"Yes, sure."

"Okay, and we pour olive oil into the pot… Bella?"

"Yes."

"We sauté the garlic and the onions, add the carrot, and… Bella?"

Cooking is boring.

"Hmm?"

"We add the tomatoes and stir before adding the broth. What are you doing?"

"Turning around in your arms, " I reply, hoping my ass won't catch fire on Edward's state-of-the-art gas stove. "Giving you a kiss. Opening the top of your fly buttons."

"You don't want soup?"

"Only if there's an Edward in it," I reply, dragging him with me while Edward turns off the stove.

Kissing frantically, we make our way to the living room, tumbling down on the sofa. My hands are sliding beneath Edward's T-shirt, roaming his muscular back as I straddle his legs. His lips are soft, nibbling and exploring, leaving my skin sensitive and prickly as they move over my neck, gently sucking on the pulse point under my ear.

"Edward… God… I love you…" My voice is husky and I moan when his hands palm my breasts. In between, I manage to pull his shirt higher and Edward grins cockily as he raises his arms so I can take it off. I lick my lips as I take in his beautiful torso.

And then, I lick his beautiful torso.

His scent is the purest aphrodisiac, manly and warm and alluring. Edward moans when my tongue circles his nipple, and he drops back against the cushions. His hands cover my buttcheeks, squeezing and kneading. I work my way down his chest and over his hard stomach until I reach his fly and I open one button after the other until my nose skims him through the warm cotton of his boxer briefs. His smell is enticing. I put a kiss on him, and Edward shudders.

Slipping off the sofa and between Edward's knees, I pull his jeans over his bare feet and follow them with his underwear. His erection springs free, and he is so hard. So big.

_God, I'm such a wanton addict. Edward's cock is like heroin to me._

"Why are you still dressed?" he whispers thickly, his hands moving under my arms and, in one fluid movement, turning us around so I am on the sofa and he is on the floor between my knees. He slips off my flip-flops, gentle fingers stroking over my ankles, my calves. Every movement expresses his love for me, his desire. His lips caress my knees and the insides of my thighs. He brushes my dress higher, and higher still, until he kisses me through my panties.

"Edward…"

"So sweet…" His hot breath drives me crazy.

He pulls the panties lower and continues to lavish my skin with little licks and kisses. My underwear lands behind the sofa and Edward helps me sit up so he can take off my dress and bra. His eyes darken as he considers me, splayed out naked for him. He swallows.

"Fuck, baby you're incredible…"

He's kneeling between my legs, his arms wrapping around me as he pulls me to the edge of the sofa. I can feel him tease me, hard and long, and I let out a needy groan.

"Ready?" He's smirking, but there's a fine sheen of sweat building on his skin.

"Mmm…"

Our eyes lock, Edward's thumb flicks over my nipple, and we're so close.

"Ahh…"

He enters me and I'm catapulted to heaven.

"So good…"

"Yeah…"

Holding me by the hips, he starts a maddening rhythm. In and out, deep and slow. My hands search out his forearms, for his hands. I want more contact. I want him closer.

Edward pulls me to him until our faces are touching. Desperate mouths, teeth and tongues. We're hot and sweaty, and the sounds we make as he thrusts into me, and our moans, are making me tremble all over.

"Ed… ward…" I cling to him and he growls into my ear. "Yes… Oh, God, yes, yes, yes…"

My fingers dig into his back as he speeds up.

"Baby… oh, fuck… Isabella…"

"Ohh…"

I'm drowning in long, warm waves of pleasure, and they seem to go on forever, each shudder followed by a new one.

Edward makes a low sound like a whimper as he stills, his face beautifully contorted.

"Oh my God," he wheezes, half collapsing on top of me, holding himself up so he doesn't smother my belly. He kisses my lips. We're a hot, panting mess, and it takes both of us a few minutes to return to earth.

Once we recover somewhat, we snuggle up to each other on the sofa. I can feel Edward's smile as he pulls the throw blanket over us.

"Let's just order in," he murmurs comfortably.

**EDWARD**

I get up at six the next morning, going for a run before heading off to work. Bella was still half-asleep when I left, but she murmured that she would collect me for lunch.

The first few hours pass quickly with surgery and a meeting with Demetri and Ben. Demetri is satisfied with how things are developing, which leaves both Ben and me smiling. It's a little after twelve when I retreat to my office, settling at my desk with a can of Coke to go through the paperwork that's been waiting for a week. I send Bella a message that I'm in my office.

This administrative part is what I like the least about my job, but it's got to be done. By the time I'm halfway through, I've signed my name about fifty times. The beaurocratic hoops seem to be getting more and more ridiculous with each year, and I can't imagine my father spending half his day on forms, certificates and study results in his day.

I yawn and stretch, grinning happily when there's a knock on my door.

"Yes? Come in."

The door opens, but instead of my wife's beautiful form, a head of fiery red peeks in.

"Victoria."

"Hello Edward." She steps inside, shutting the door behind her. "Sorry to disturb you."

"It's okay. Have a seat. What can I do for you?"

Victoria sits down in front of my desk and crosses her legs.

"Has a decision been made concerning Mrs. Wilson?"

She is referring to a pregnant woman suffering from cardiac arrhythmia, who was admitted a couple of days ago. We decided to keep her here over the weekend, so I don't quite understand Victoria's question.

She's watching me with her intense blue eyes, her expression undecipherable.

"I saw her this morning," Victoria says, "and she was complaining about feeling dizzy."

"Well, that's to be expected."

"Edward." Victoria bends forward in her chair, giving me a clear view down her blouse. "You didn't go and see her yourself?"

"No, but Dr. Ziegler gave me his notes."

"How is work with Dr. Cheney going?" she asks, changing the subject.

"Fine," I say, taking a thoughtful sip from my can, but the drink has turned lukewarm.

I don't get Victoria. One day, she's bitter and angry, the next, all sweetness.

She gets up from her chair and rounds my desk.

"You shouldn't drink that, Edward."

"I know. Listen, Victoria, is there anything else I can do for you? Because, look, I'd really like to get finished with these…"

"That's a lovely picture of Bella," she says, grabbing the silver-framed photograph that shows my wife in Florence, smiling happily.

As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Victoria parks her butt on the edge of my desk. Once again, she leans forward, looking into my eyes.

"Um, Victoria, if you don't mind my asking… What do you want?"

"I think you know exactly what I want, Edward." She smiles eerily.

There's a soft knock on the door, and a second later, Bella enters.

"Your lunch date is here, Dr. Cullen!"

Her eyes widen when she sees Victoria, sitting on my desk and basically displaying her tits for me.

"Bella." I get up so abruptly that Victoria is almost knocked off the desk. "Hi, baby." I kiss Bella's lips in greeting and turn around to Victoria. "Can we discuss this some other time, Victoria?"

Victoria straightens up, and puts on a smile.

"Hi, Bella. Sure. Have a nice lunch break, or… whatever."

She makes her way out with her red head held high.

"What the hell was that?"

Bella's eyes are huge and shocked, and I know what it must have looked like.

"I have no idea," I admit, putting my hands on Bella's shoulders. "But I am beginning to think that she is even weirder than we thought."

"Was she… Was she making a pass at you? Because, you know it totally looked like she was making a pass at you."

"I don't know what her deal is," I sigh. I pull Bella close and kiss the top of her head. "But I hope I don't need to tell you that you are the only one I think about…" I kiss her softly. "The only one I desire…"

Bella hiccups as we leave the office, which makes both of us laugh.

"Do you think she's, I don't know, mentally disturbed?" Bella asks as we wait for our food, sitting in our booth at the place we usually frequent during my lunch break. Our fingers entwine over the table.

On our way here, I told Bella about Victoria's appearance in my office, and my sweet Bella started thinking immediately. It's what she does. Thinking – often too much – and relating to other people.

"I have no idea," I say. "I don't even know what she was referring to when she said that I knew what she wanted." I shake my head. "Weird woman."

Our food arrives, and while I start eating my chicken salad, Bella picks her turkey sandwich apart. She removes the lettuce and squeezes about a gallon of mustard on it, puts it back together and starts munching happily.

"Maybe she was baked?" Bella suggests through a mouthful of mustard and bread. "Remember the smell at their house?"

I think about it, but shake my head. "No. She's always very focused at work."

"Then what's her problem? Do you _think_ she was trying to hit on you?"

I'm glad that Bella seems to be more amused than concerned. In some way, and despite the mood swings and small complaints, the pregnancy seems to have stabilized her. Even though she has reduced the antidepressants to the lowest possible dose, she's well. She's happy and balanced.

"Maybe she's just batshit crazy," I sigh, which morphs into a smile. "You've got some…" I reach out and touch the corner of her mouth. "Some mustard here…" I wipe it off, and Bella grins sheepishly. She's so beautiful. Her pale, heart-shaped face, her dark eyes, her lovely, freckled nose…

"Thanks."

"Do you like your sandwich?"

"Mmh-hmm."

My pager goes off and I mutter, "Shit."

Bella sighs, but nods her head in understanding.

"I'm sorry, baby." I'm already sliding out of the booth. "I'll try and be home by six, 'kay?" I place a gentle kiss on her soft, although mustardy lips.

"'kay," she murmurs, running a finger down my cheek.

"Look after our pea," I whisper and touch her belly before I leave, giving her a small wave from outside.

Back at the hospital, my day gets crazy, for we have to perform surgery on a five-year-old girl who suffered from hypoxia after she drowned in her parents' goldfish pond, which led to cardiac arrest. I can't stop thinking about our baby, and how I would cope if anything ever happened to her, even though she's not even born yet.

The operation takes us more than six hours, and in the end, we don't manage to save the child.

Telling the parents is one of the most horrible things I had to do in a long time. I know that we did everything we could, and I know it's not my fault, but still. These people's lives are destroyed.

I'm totally wiped out by the time I get home shortly after ten. Bella is waiting up for me and over a shot of whiskey, I tell her what happened. We sit down on the sofa and she holds my hands. She shakes her head the entire time, her face furrowed in sympathy.

When I'm finished, I simply drop my head into her lap. She gently massages my neck and shoulders, murmuring soft words while I gradually relax. I press the side of my face against her warm belly and let the quiet of our home, Bella's hands and the feel of our baby, safe and snug inside her womb, comfort me.

=====oOo=====

Two days later, I receive a phone call from Aro. His voice is as deep and merry as always.

"Edward, you little scoundrel. How are you?"

"Good, dear uncle. How are you? When will you be back? It's been ages since you told me you'd be back soon!"

"Yeah," he chuckles. "I know. That's the reason I'm calling, actually. What are you and your beautiful wife doing next weekend?"

I smile, because Aro has always been like this. Spontaneous, quirky and fun.

I suddenly remember the day we went to Canterbury during one of my stays with him in London. We visited the cathedral and went to a bookstore, and after that, Aro suggested we go to a pub. I was eighteen at the time, which meant, being in Europe, that I was allowed to have a few beers.

We had a wonderful evening. At the time, I was in my first serious relationship, and Aro gave me lots of useful advice. How to treat a lady. Or rather, that every woman is a lady, and that I need to treat her as such.

"Edward? What's going on in that kooky head of yours?"

"Sorry," I chuckle.

"So are you coming? Next weekend? Your sweet sisters and parents already agreed to be there!"

"Um, yeah… Sure. Of course. What's the occasion?"

"Your birthday, you little fuckhead!"

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading!**

**Since the bribery worked so well the last time, I think I'll do it again: reviewers get a teaser for chapter 30!**

**xoxo**

**harperpitt**


	30. Beach Scene

**A/N:**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Dellaterra is my wonderful beta.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 30: **Beach Scene**

**BELLA**

I wake early on the day we're going to the Hamptons. The sun is beaming in through the windows, and I'm happy and relaxed as I sit up in bed and stretch my arms. Edward isn't next to me, but I can hear him bustling around downstairs, softly talking to the cat. He returned early from work last night, and we packed our weekend suitcase and had dinner. Afterward, Edward took me out for ice cream at Milly's Ice Cream Parlor on Lexington Avenue, where we shared a caramel and walnut sundae. Well, shared is a relative word in that context. I guess I had two-thirds of it.

_Or maybe four-fifths?_

When he asked about my day, it was rather hard not to tell him about my secret endeavor with Seth this afternoon, but then, I want to surprise Edward for his birthday, so I kept my mouth shut

"Hey, baby, you're awake." Edward smiles as he comes into the bedroom. He's still in his pajama pants, bringing in two mugs. He rejoins me in bed, kissing me softly.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Wonderfully well." I take a sip of my tea. "And you?"

"I always sleep well when you're in my arms," Edward croons, nuzzling my nose with his.

Three hours later, we're in the car. Edward is relaxed, laughing and joking and making fun of himself. The morning sun is behind us and it begins to feel like a little vacation, and I'm giddy with bliss, knowing that Edward is all mine for three whole days.

"Three whole days," he murmurs. "I can't believe it."

"You so deserve some time off," I reply. "You need to relax. You can sleep, and eat yummy seafood while I watch you enviously, and drink lovely wines from Aro's wine cabinet, while I cry into my herbal tea."

Edward chuckles and squeezes the inside of my thigh.

"Actually, I was thinking along the lines of making out with you on the beach, groping you in the water, making love to you all night long…"

"Or that," I smile, placing my hand on his.

=====oOo=====

"Edward! Bella!"

Esme beams as she hugs us both at once, kissing our cheeks. She came out of the house as soon as she heard the car, waving enthusiastically when she saw us.

"How was your trip?"

She puts her arms around us and walks us inside. The house is exactly as it's always been, homey yet elegant, with a certain rustic charm that is all Aro.

"Everyone else is already here," she tells us. "Lily and Anna were so impatient to go to the beach, so they left twenty minutes ago. I guess you'll want to join them?"

"Mom," Edward smiles good-naturedly. "We only arrived a minute ago. Can we just sit down for a second?" He puts his arm around her shoulder.

Esme gently slaps his chest.

"Of course you can! Let's go out to the garden and say hello to your dad."

We follow Esme to the garden in the back, Edward having put down our suitcase by the staircase. Carlisle is there, getting up to greet us. He kisses my cheek and hugs Edward, welcoming us.

We all sit down around the wooden table and Esme pours iced tea. She looks enchanting in a white dress with a matching straw hat. Carlisle too, is dressed like he'd stepped from a catalog, his white dress shirt and beige cargo pants stylish yet casual.

For a second I feel a bit frumpy in my flowery cotton dress, but Esme makes me forget about it at once, putting her hand on mine.

"How are you, Bella? You look lovely."

"Thank you. I'm good. Very good. I'm still supposed to rest a lot, so that's boring, but I'm busying myself with making lists for everything because I tend to be forgetful nowadays, so, yeah, lists are the thing."

Esme laughs sweetly. "I remember that part about being pregnant. I used to be so scatterbrained… And then, when I was breastfeeding, it only got worse. I called it nursing amnesia."

We both laugh, drawing the men's attention to us.

We chat with Edward's parents for half an hour before I have the urgent need to pee. Edward takes the opportunity to excuse us so we can unpack and freshen up. He carries our suitcase upstairs, to the room we've always been in. It hasn't changed.

There's a huge four-poster bed, oil paintings, cute white curtains, and a lovely view of the garden, where the birds are singing.

I sit down on the bed.

"So good to be here again."

"Yes." Edward puts down our suitcase and sits down next to me. He kisses my cheek. "How are you feeling, love?"

"Perfect. It's a bit odd that Aro isn't here yet, don't you think?"

"You know him," Edward shrugs. "He's always a little eccentric."

"Yeah…" I lie back on the bed and sigh happily, and Edward joins me.

"Do you want to take a nap?" He reaches over and places his hand on my belly. I swear it's become rounder overnight.

"Nah," I murmur. "Just stay here with me for a second."

"Okay."

I roll over and Edward wraps his arm around me. His breathing is even and relaxed. He kisses my neck. He draws small circles on my belly. I close my eyes for a second.

I'm slightly disoriented as I open my eyes. Oh yes, right. We're at Aro's house. And I wanted to close my eyes for a second. The alarm on the bedside tells me we've been asleep for almost an hour. I smile sleepily, putting my hand on top of Edward's, which is in its usual sleep position – on my breast.

It's so cozy, and I want to enjoy it a little longer, but I have to pee really, really badly, so I disentangle as gingerly as possible from Edward's grip. He makes a low, unhappy sound and tries to hold me. It's a small fight, and by the time I have left the bed, he is awake, looking adorably tousled, blinking his eyes. I swiftly peck his lips with mine and hurry to the bathroom.

When I return, Edward is sitting on the side of the bed, raking a hand through his hair.

"Wow," he says, "that was good."

"I guess you just don't realize any longer when you're tired," I sigh, taking Edward's outstretched hand in mine, letting him play with my fingers.

"I'm not tired now." He smiles cockily and wriggles his eyebrows.

"Good. Then we can go down to the beach!"

Half an hour later, we're on the beach, looking out for our family. I have put a light tunic over my baby-blue bikini, somehow feeling the need to hide my bump – and my voluptuous décolleté. Edward has spotted Rose and Anna, who are waving from a canopied chair. Luckily, this is a private beach, so it's not crowded despite the beautiful weather. I wave back at Rose, Edward's right hand holding mine, while his left one carries a beach bag. Emmett and Lily are jumping up and down in the water, waving as well as we get closer.

Hugs and kisses are exchanged, Anna stretches out her little arms for Edward, and Lily and Emmett return from the water, dripping wet. Jasper, who has been sleeping on a deck chair, wakes and greets us, pushing his straw hat out of his face.

Rose looks stunning in a red bikini. I can't believe she's older than Edward and has given birth to three children. Her smile is radiant as she sits down next to me in the beach chair, asking me all about the baby while Edward falls into easy conversation with Emmett and Lily, who is currently shaking her blonde curls like a wet dog, spraying us with little droplets of water. Rose scolds her with a smile, and Em catches her with a bright orange towel.

Alice emerges from the water in a black bathing suit, looking like an elfin apparition. She flops down on a towel by Jasper's feet.

"Edward! Bella! You're here! The water's fantastic; you need to go in!"

"We will," Edward assures her, looking up at me from his place in the sand with Anna. She looks too cute in her little pink bathing suit, her blonde curls exactly the same as her mom's and sister's. She smiles, showing her tiny teeth, and hammers a little plastic shovel on Edward's thigh to show her excitement.

"Not so hard, sweetheart," Rose tells her, gently shaking her head. "Or you'll hurt Uncle Edward."

Anna stares at her mom with her mouth open, imitating her by shaking her head.

"Boo-boo?" She points at Edward.

"She thinks you have a boo-boo now," Rose explains. "I'm trying to explain the concept of not hurting others to her. She tends to get a bit ruthless on the playground, especially if she's armed." Rose looks at the plastic shovel.

"You boo-boo?" Anna asks Edward.

"No, honey, I don't have a boo-boo." He sits her on his leg and kisses her head.

God, if I wasn't already pregnant, my ovaries would be imploding now. There's something about a strong, grown man being so careful and patient with a little child…

"Bella." Rose sounds amused.

"Huh?"

"Close your mouth."

"I'm sorry, I'm…"

"Hormones," Rose chuckles. "Blame everything on them while you can."

Lily comes over and sits with Edward and Anna. They build a small sand castle, but Anna gets impatient and whiney. Edward manages to distract her for a time by making funny faces and tickling her, but ultimately, Rose takes her.

"I'm putting her down for a nap."

"I'll go," Emmett says, already getting up

"Will you be back for our picnic?" Lily pipes up.

"Of course, sweetie." He kisses his daughter. "We'll all be here. I'll bring Grandad and Grandma with me. And the beer." He winks at his brothers-in-law, and carries Anna back to the house. Edward and Lily are still busy with the castle until Lily whispers to her mom, "I need to go…"

Alice and Jasper are dozing in the afternoon sun, so Edward and I are suddenly by ourselves. He moves closer, and puts his head against my knee.

"Do you want to go in? Even Lily said it's not that cold."

"Okay," I concede.

Edward smiles and kisses my thigh before he gets up and pulls off his T-shirt, revealing his adorable body. Feeling a little self-conscious, I take off my tunic. Edward smiles and offers me his hand. There is a loving glint in his eye, and I think he notices my brief hesitation, for he bends down and whispers, "You look so sexy, Isabella…"

Giggling like teenagers, we run into the water, which is lukewarm and pleasant. We don't swim a lot; we spend our time in the water mostly fooling around, kissing and laughing.

"This is nice," Edward murmurs against my lips, tasting salty from the water.

I wrap my legs around his waist and hold closer to him. I kiss his neck, nibbling a little, making Edward sigh. Our lips meet and I close my eyes, falling into Edward's kiss. He's tender and passionate, and I'd be wobbly on my legs if he wasn't holding me in his arms.

"Maybe we should get out, you know, before we get arrested for public lewdness," Edward mumbles as things get a little too heated.

"Yeah, you're right…" I put one last kiss on his lips.

We actually swim a little, for about five minutes, before we get back to our spot. Alice and Jasper have woken up, and they are talking to a woman who has her back turned to us, her long black hair glistening in the sun.

Rose is listening to her, while she helps Lily with a toy.

When we get to them, Edward reaches for two towels, wrapping one around me.

"Hey!" Alice cries. "Look who's here!"

Edward is toweling himself, making his hair crazier than ever, watching his sister. The woman I don't recognize turns around. She's exquisitely beautiful, long-limbed and slender but with luscious curves. Her skin is perfect, with a light olive tan, her long black hair straight and silky. She smiles and shows her perfect teeth.

Fuck, she looks like Monica Bellucci.

"Eduardo!" Jumping up, she throws her arms around my husband's neck, and he laughs happily.

"Gianna! What the hell –" He kisses both her cheeks. "My God, you look fantastic!"

"Thank you, Eduardo! Oh fuck, it's been too long! Like, what? Ten years?" She grabs his hands in hers. "You look mighty fine yourself, Mr. Cullen!" Only now do I detect a slight hint of an Italian accent.

I feel like an ugly duckling standing here, dripping wet and dressed in a towel as opposed to the Dolce and Gabbana beach thing this Gianna person is wearing.

"Bella?" Edward takes my hand. "Meet my old friend Gianna di Orso. She's my childhood sweetheart from, well… this beach, right?"

They both smile beatifically.

"Gianna, this is my wife, Bella."

"_Bella_! What a fitting name!"

Gianna kisses both my cheeks. She smells of expensive, flowery perfume, though not in a bad way.

"I didn't even know you remarried, Eduardo! Oh my God, it's so good to see all of you!"

Everyone makes affirmative noises around us.

"Gianna and I used to play together when we were little kids."

"My parents had a beach house here," Gianna explains further, "and we met here when we were around five."

"Yeah," Edward jumps in. "Until we were, what? Seventeen?

"Yes," she says. "Seventeen."

"Right." For a second, they fondly look at each other, and then Gianna turns back to me. She has huge dark eyes, and enormous black lashes.

_Well, Edward only strayed off his usual type with Tanya, right?_

I don't know why I even feel so bitter. He's my husband, he loves me, we're having a baby. Of course he has a past; I know that.

"You need to tell me everything you've been doing over the last eight years!" Gianna exclaims.

I shiver a little, and Edward pulls me into his side.

"You're cold, love," he murmurs.

"Which is why I am going to change my clothes," I mutter, slipping into my flip-flops and making my way back to the house.

I take a warm shower and change into shorts that show a lot of my legs, and a loose blouse that shows off my boobs.

_Gotta work with what you've got._

When I come down, Esme and Carlisle are getting ready as well, so we walk down to the beach together, equipped with more blankets and drinks. Arriving there, everyone is in high spirits, greeting us cheerfully. The sun is slowly setting, and the beach is even more spacious than before.

Alice is arranging the picnic food, including candles and pillows, while the rest of the family is happily conversing with Gianna. She jumps up and greets Esme and Carlisle just as warmly as she did with Edward earlier. I didn't get the part where she was invited to our picnic, but I guess it was inevitable.

Edward stands up and kisses me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I was just a bit cold."

"Sit down with me?"

Once we're on the blanket, he pulls me into his side and places a protective hand on the baby. Everything would be perfect, if it weren't for Gianna on Edward's other side, smiling, laughing, reminiscing. Conversation is lively and filled with laughter, and everyone is enjoying themselves. Rose, who is also next to Gianna, laughs a lot, while her husband feeds Anna. Lily sits with her grandparents, beaming when they tell her stories about Rose's childhood. Gianna also seems to be big friends with Alice, who is giggling over her second glass of wine, while Jasper lazily massages her neck.

Gianna's bell-like laugh resounds and she shakes her silky hair.

"No, I haven't! You're silly, Rose!"

"Then what did you do?"

"Well," Gianna says, getting more serious. "I didn't return to the U.S. after my parents' divorce. I lived in Rome with Mama. I only returned here last year."

"What is it that you do?" I ask, feeling almost silly because everyone seems to know.

"I'm a dentist."

She shrugs and smiles as I stare at her. I guess I thought she was a rocket scientist, or a model, or a corrupt Italian politician…

"I know. It's so unglamorous. But that's what I am. I want to relocate to New York, which is why I'm here." She bats her long eyelashes.

Fuck, she's too charming to even hate.

At that, Carlisle starts to ask Gianna questions about her career and they talk shop for some time. Edward has a glass of wine, Rose puts Anna into my arms, and Jasper and Emmett are in a heated discussion about the Civil War, one of Jasper's favorite subjects. He's been researching the role of his home state, Texas, for years, and plans to write a book on it.

Rose, who senses an argument I think, suddenly says, "Hey, Ali and Edward, do you remember that night we went to camp outside on the beach?"

"Oh my God yes!" Alice giggles.

"You mean when…" Gianna's full lips turn into a smile.

"Camping? On this beach?" Esme asks, bewildered.

"It was a secret, Mom! We were like ten!"

"_You_ were ten!" Edward replies, trying to hide his mortified smile. "Which means that I was six!"

"What happened?" I ask, forgetting about my yummy salami sandwich.

"Tell her, Eduardo!"

She ruffles his hair.

_The damned woman ruffles my man's hair!_

I breathe deeply.

In and out, Bella, in and out. That's what they'll tell you, anyway, when you give birth.

I take a bite of my sandwich, watching everybody banter and joke.

"Okay," Alice says, giggling, "I'll tell you the story."

"Noooo!" Edward whines comically.

"We set up this tent on the beach, and Edward was all like, I'm the boy in here, I'll protect you…"

"And then," Gianna goes on," when it got dark…"

"And Rose and I told him scary stories," Alice fills in.

"Eduardo ran home, out of his mind with terror."

"You were mean to me," Edward smiles. "I was quite a bit younger than you. You might have traumatized me for life!"

"Our stories weren't that scary," Alice says, "but he was just –"

"Anyway, Edward got to sleep in our parents' bed," Rose finishes.

Gianna tickles Edward's bare calf.

I can hear the blood pulsing in my ears.

The words come to me in waves, but I don't understand the half of it.

"… was so cute…"

"… poor baby…"

Drinks are being passed around and Alice lights the candles.

The sea is black, but you can still hear it, and smell it.

I need to get a grip. I lean into Edward's side, and he puts his arm around me at once, kissing my temple. I still feel lightheaded.

Sometimes, you can hear seagulls.

I put on the hoodie I brought with me from the house.

Alice and Esme giggle. They clink their glasses.

Jasper is now discussing his theories with Carlisle.

Rose and Emmett are sitting with Lily across their laps. She's fighting sleep, while her little sister has long since conked out in her stroller.

"Hey, Bella." Gianna moves over to me. "You need to tell me this: How did you and Eduardo meet?"

I cringe again at her name for him.

"At a party," I shrug.

"And he – what? Fell for you, hook, line and sinker?"

"Um… no… yes… He was still married then, so it was a bit difficult…"

"Ooops. I'm so sorry." She downs the rest of her Chablis and holds her glass out for Edward. "Can you please give me a refill, Eduardo?"

He obliges, smiling.

"You haven't changed one bit," he says.

"Psht, that's what you think!" She's clearly tipsy, as, may I say, is the rest of the party – sans Lily and Anna. And me.

Gianna passes her fingers through Edward's hair again.

"Oh my God, Eduardo, your hair still is the same glorious mess it was when you were six years old…"

My jaw tightens.

Blame it on the baby, blame it on the drinks, or lack of them, blame it on the fucking boogie.

I'm done.

I get up – a little too fast, feeling a bit wobbly for a second. Suddenly, all eyes are on me.

"Edward, can you give me my phone? I'm… I'm… I need to leave."

"Are you okay?"

He darts up, taking my hand. He looks apprehensive.

"Just tired. Don't worry. Don't…"

I hold out my hand for another second until I realize how super silly I probably look.

"Yeah, sure, I…" Edward searches the pockets of his shorts, handing me my cell. "But I'll come with you. Can you wait just a second? I'd just like to say good-bye to Gianna…"

I grab the phone out of his fingers.

"Night, everyone."

I stomp off.

Thankfully, it's a short walk. Once I've let myself in and I'm in our room, I slam the door. I want to hit something, but instead, I just sit down on the bed.

_What the fuck was that?_

It scares me. We barely fight, or argue, least of all because of jealousy. I'm not a very jealous person, which might seem odd with my history, but I'm just not. Edward, who never needs to worry about my faith and devotion, actually is more jealous than I am. Or maybe it's not jealousy, but his urge to protect me.

Well, maybe it's a _slightly_ possessive streak.

Anyway, we're honest with each other, totally so. I don't know everything about his past, but he's told me stuff over the years. I know that his longest serious relationship, aside from Tanya, was with Julia, during his residency. I know that, before he and Tanya met, he was a bit of a tomcat. I know that he once kissed a man.

But Gianna?

Why hasn't Edward ever told me about Gianna?

I'm grating my teeth as I stare out into the dark garden.

"Care to tell me what the fuck that was?" Edward is standing in the door, livid with anger.

"You tell _me_," I huff.

"What are you talking about?" He steps closer.

"Pshhh…"

"What? _What_?" He's so angry, or maybe exasperated describes it better.

I finally turn around, and I'm furious.

"_You_ are blatantly flirting with this freaking Monica Bellucci look-alike right in front of my eyes all evening and you're asking _me_ what's wrong? What's wrong with _you_?"

Edward's green eyes widen, and it seems that there's a spark of amusement in them.

"You're jealous?" he says, his voice incredulous.

"No, I'm pissed!"

"Yeah, I can see that, but…"

"But what? You behaved like a hormonal teenager with her, with me right there! That's so sick!"

I know that _I'm _hormonal right now, but Edward's expression only serves to make me angrier. His mouth is twitching, and he's trying to suppress it, but there's a hint of a smile.

"You thought… You thought…" A snort escapes his mouth. "That's funny." He laughs out loud, shaking his head. "Fuck, that's funny!"

"Yeah. So funny."

I cross my arms in front of my chest, wanting to punch him.

"Bella… Bella… You thought… Oh my God, that's…"

Edward seemingly can't stop laughing, and I'm getting fed up with it. Standing, I walk over to him.

"Are you drunk? What's _up _with you?"

"Bella, Bella, darling." Edward is still giggling. "Gianna is gay!"

_What?_

"What?"

I stare into his eyes. He's still trying to control his giggles.

"Well, great. So you let me make a complete fool of myself in front of everyone? Super. Thanks."

"Bella." He reaches out for me, but I've had it.

"That wasn't nice, Edward. Fuck you."

"I'm sorry." His eyes turn more serious once he sees I'm really hurt. He takes a step in my direction, but I back away, feeling tears pool in my eyes.

"Good that you had a marvelous old time with your _friend. _"

"Baby…" He steps closer again, taking hold of my wrist. "Really. I'm sorry. It just seemed funny right now that…"

"Fuck you," I mutter.

"I'm sorry," he repeats in a whisper, gently pulling me closer until his hands settle on my hips. "I'm sorry."

"Fuck you," I murmur stubbornly, but my resolve is weakening.

"Sorry…" A feather-light kiss caresses my neck. "I'm sorry…" His hand cups my cheek as he drops another kiss on my ear, his warm lips tickling my skin, and my breath catches.

His tongue darts out, warm and tender, licking and teasing, and I soften like butter in the sun.

"Baby," he mumbles thickly, unzipping my hoodie. "Please… I'm sorry…"

"Fuck you," I whisper.

His fingers brush over my nipple and I shudder.

His other hand sneaks into my shorts and cups me through the thin material of my panties, and I moan. Our lips meet in a fierce, hungry kiss, tongues and lips sucking and licking. I manage to open Edward's shorts and slip my hand inside his boxer briefs, wrapping my fingers around him. He's warm and hard under soft skin, and we both groan at the sensation.

"Fuck me," I pant.

We tumble down on the bed, shedding the rest of our clothes. Sitting up on his knees in front of me, Edward pulls me to him, my legs wrapping around his waist.

We're both crazy with passion, moans and sighs mixing.

"Edward… Oh, God, Edward…"

"Isabella…"

"Fuck me."

And he does.

We're groaning and whimpering as he drives himself into me, supporting my lower body with his arms. He fills me and completes me and I dig my fingers into every bit of him I can reach.

This is so unlike anything we've done since I got pregnant, a little primitive maybe, but incredibly hot. I'm producing very unladylike sounds while Edward pounds into me and I grab onto the headboard for dear life.

"Harder," I groan. "Harder."

I hold his thighs, his hips, his fingers as Edward slams into me.

"Ungh… Oh… "

And I'm a goner.

Seconds later, Edward pulls me close, lowering himself on me, pulling me up to him, and I hold onto him, still trembling in the aftermath of the most intense orgasm, and I bite down on his shoulder as I feel him come.

"Fuck…" Edward wheezes as he collapses next to me. He's panting, wrapping his arms around me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fucking perfect," I grin. I take his hand and kiss his fingers.

Edward giggles, and it's the most charming and beautiful sound.

"Please tell me I didn't just fuck my pregnant wife into the headboard because she thought I was flirting with a gay woman."

He kisses my shoulder and I giggle along with him.

"Your _horny _pregnant wife," I correct him. "And the lady in question is insanely attractive."

"Bella." Edward kisses my neck, my collarbone, my breast. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. And you're becoming more beautiful with each passing day." His hand passes over my round belly, soft fingertips caressing me. "I love you," he whispers, putting a kiss on the swell of my stomach. "Both of you. So, so much."

"I love you," I reply. "I'm sorry for earlier. I was silly."

"You're not, Bella," he says softly. He kisses his was upward on my body again. "You're my warm-hearted, beautiful, sensitive wife. My love. My life."

"Oh, Edward."

A small, happy tear escapes my eyes, but he kisses it away.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Edward told Bella about kissing a man in the _You Were There_ Outtakes, chapter 5, in case anyone is wondering.**

**Thank you all for reading, and if you really REALLY like this story, you'll certainly take a second and press that review button, won't you?**


	31. What Do You Think About Men?

**A/N:**

**Huge thanks to my wonderful beta dellaterra! **

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 31: **What Do You Think About Men?**

**BELLA**

I am woken by the sun beaming in through the windows. The sound of laughter comes from the garden, mixing with the chirping of the birds. I'm alone in the large four-poster bed, but I can hear the shower from the ensuite bathroom. I stretch languidly, feeling thoroughly rested.

After my monumental freak-out last night, and the resulting makeup sex, we made love again, soft and slow this time, falling asleep in each other's arms. I feel silly about the way I behaved last night. Everyone must think I'm crazy. Thank God Aro and his girlfriend weren't there to witness my unusual bout of jealousy. They will arrive later today, and tomorrow we're going to celebrate Edward's birthday. He arranged to have Monday morning off, so he doesn't have to be back at work until the afternoon.

The bathroom door opens and Edward comes out, wearing a white towel around his hips. His skin is still wet, glistening in the bright sunlight.

"Hey." He steps closer. "Did you sleep okay?" He places a good-morning kiss on my lips.

"Yes… And you?"

"Yeah. It must be the sea breeze or something." He retrieves his underwear from a drawer. "Everyone's having brunch in the garden," he says. "Ali popped a note under the door."

Walking back to the bathroom, he towels off, leaving me with the remarkable view of his very fine ass. A shriek resounds from the garden – it sounds like Lily – and it's followed by a commotion of voices. Apparently, Aro has arrived.

I drag myself out of the glorious comfort of our bed and join Edward in the bathroom. He's shaving, naked but for a pair of black boxer briefs. I kiss his shoulder on my way to the shower, and Edward responds by patting my butt.

I make myself look nice, putting on a long halter-neck dress with a colorful flower print, then head downstairs. Edward is already there. Even from the living room that leads to the garden, I can hear laughter and chatter, and my heart actually leaps a bit at the prospect of seeing Aro again.

I made myself look nice, wearing a long halter-neck dress with a colorful flower print.

The whole family is assembled around the table, and the first thing I notice is Aro and the beautiful woman by his side. She is a petite brunette in a very elegant grey dress, pearls around her neck, laughing a silvery laugh. I like her immediately. She must be in her late forties, but then, who can tell these days? She's exquisite, everything about her – from her coiffed curls to her high-heeled Louboutins – stating wealth.

"Bella!" Aro sees me first and gets out of his chair, crossing the distance with open arms. "Beautiful girl, how good to see you!" He puts a warm kiss on each of my cheeks, then gives me a once-over. "Well, well, motherhood becomes you!"

We're joined by his lady.

"Bella, may I introduce you to my wonderful fiancée, this is Didy Charmion. Didy, this is my lovely niece Isabella."

Didy also greets me with two kisses. She even smells elegant.

"I'm so glad to finally meet you, Bella," she says with the cutest French accent. "Aro has told me so much about you and Edward."

"Engaged, huh?" I wink at Aro. "I didn't know that. Congratulations, you two!"

They return to their places at the table and I take a seat next to Edward, greeting everyone. Esme smiles sweetly and calls me a sleepyhead, but follows her statement with a genuine smile, telling me that I am sleeping for two.

Since I'm also eating for two, I tuck into a breakfast of pancakes, bacon and orange juice. Alice and Didy seem to have already become great friends, chattering about Paris's fashion world, while Rose is talking with Aro. Dale is playing with his little sisters, which is totally adorable. Everybody seems happy and relaxed. Well, everybody but my father-in-law.

Carlisle is wearing a sour expression, watching his brother with his new fiancée. Edward just rolls his eyes when he notices me wondering about his father's grouchy face, which doesn't help me understand.

I've witnessed Carlisle and Aro together only a couple of times, and each time, it was strained. These brothers do not have the easiest relationship.

Everyone else is chatting comfortably. At one point, Aro pushes his sunglasses into his hair, addressing Edward in a conversational tone.

"So, boysie, how's work going since you got into that distinguished position?"

And suddenly, I feel uneasy. Alice and Jasper know, and I think that Edward hinted at something when he called his mom last week, but Carlisle has no idea. Given his behavior when Edward spoke about his plans the last time, I'm not so sure his dad will understand Edward's decision.

"Actually," Edward says, rubbing the back of his neck, "there's been a change."

"Change?" Rose asks innocently.

"Yeah. Ben – Dr. Cheney – and I have been talking about trying this for quite a while, and we ran the idea by Demetri and the board, and they agreed."

"What are you talking about, Edward?" Carlisle's brow furrows.

"We're sharing the position as head of cardiology," Edward says. He takes a sip of his coffee.

"Wow." Jasper is the first to speak. "And that's working?"

"We've only been into it for a few weeks, but, yes. It works really well."

"What made you do that, Edward?" Aro looks at him with genuine interest.

A smile comes to Edward's eyes, making them crinkle.

"We'll be a family soon," he shrugs, "and I realized that I want to spend time with my wife and daughter. Ben wanted to take over a little more responsibility and we figured it might be worth a try. It made a lot of sense, after all, Ben was also considered for the position. Well, there was a third guy, I believe," he adds as an afterthought.

"That's so cool, sweetie!" Alice grins from ear to ear.

"Yep," Emmett agrees. "It'll also give Bella a chance to pursue her career once the baby is here, right?"

_Huh._ I hadn't even thought about that, but it seems like a logical idea. I know that Emmett and Rose try to balance their workloads so that they are both able to spend more time with their children.

"Well, it's not like I'm going to lie in the pool and sip cocktails all day," Edward says, frowning a bit against the sun. "I'm still working fifty to sixty hours a week. But I don't want to do ninety or hundred any longer. I don't want work to eat me up." He takes my hand in his. "It's not the same as it was ten, or even three years ago. I guess my priorities have changed." He smiles crookedly. "Or maybe I'm just not that ambitious anymore."

Everyone chuckles, and Aro laughs loudly.

Carlisle gets up and walks into the house without a word. Alice groans, Rose rolls her eyes, and I can see Edward's jaw work. Aro just shakes his head. He kisses Didy's hand.

"Please excuse my brother. He tends to be… difficult."

Esme moves to get up and follow her husband, but Jasper puts his hand on her arm.

"Let me?"

"For now," Esme concedes, but I can see the sadness in her eyes. She's been watching this conflict for decades, and I can only imagine how hard it must be for her to be stuck in the middle of it all.

Edward and I go for a walk on the beach in the afternoon, strolling lazily, hand in hand, chatting easily. We take off our shoes and get our feet wet in the sea, watching children play and scream, leggy blondes getting tanned, a couple of teenagers playing Frisbees. It's warm, but not as stifling as it tends to get in the city. I'm not looking forward to the next couple of months. Summers in New York can be grueling, and I feel hot all the time as it is.

"Sit with me?"

We have reached a less-frequented spot covered with beach grass, and Edward flops down in the sand, stretching out his hand for me.

I smile and sit down next to him, which takes me a few seconds longer these days. I lean against Edward's chest, and he puts his arms around me, his hands covering my belly. We're silent for a few minutes, the sounds of screeching children and crying seagulls providing a very relaxed backdrop. Edward's hair tickles my neck as he places feather light kisses on my cheek and ear.

I thread my fingers through his. I can feel his disappointment about Carlisle's reaction. What everyone else considers a strong and mature step, he regards as weakness. Where I see nothing but love and devotion, Carlisle perceives idleness, or lack of ambition.

"I'm sorry he doesn't understand," I say softly.

Edward sighs very softly, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"I shouldn't have chosen this day to tell them. He's always so much more difficult with Aro there. It's like I can't do anything right. As if he wants to make a point that Aro messed me up, or that his slack ways had a bad influence on me."

"That's such crap." I turn my head to look at him, and Edward's green eyes meet mine. He looks upset. "You should talk to him."

"Pshh…" Edward shakes his head "Do you know how often we _talked_ and ended up screaming at each other? I'd rather keep things as they are: not ideal, but civil."

This time, I'm the one who sighs. Edward rubs his nose against my jaw line.

"Hey," he murmurs. "Don't let this drag you down, okay?"

"But…"

"No…" He draws a few gentle circles on my stomach. "Let's just enjoy our stay. Do I get anything nice for my birthday?"

_Hmph, the man knows exactly how to distract me._

"Not telling," I reply with a little smile.

"Hmm… Is it sweet?" He kisses my ear.

"Maybe…"

"Is it fun?"

"Possibly…"

Edward's lips pull at my earlobe. "Is it… big?" His breath is warm and makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

I swallow. "Define 'big'."

"I think I'd rather show you," he rasps into my ear.

We tease each other and cuddle a bit longer before we return to the house.

Edward promised Lily to perform surgery on her tattered old toy monkey, who has a tear in the middle of his stomach. Alice offered to do it, and I'm pretty sure that Alice is better at it than Edward, but Lily insisted that her uncle do it. Well, he knows how to sew people up, so I guess he'll be able to do it with stuffed dolls. He makes a big show of it, recruiting me as his nurse, while Alice gets to hand him his instruments. The coffee table has to be wiped down and a towel is laid out. We all need to wear surgical masks made of tissues, and Coco, the patient in question, gets sedated with a special banana medicine consisting of jelly beans.

When Edward has made sure the monkey is anesthetized, he produces his stethoscope – he always has his doctor's kit in the car – and listens for his heartbeat.

"Can you hold his hand?" he says to Lily. "He'll feel calmer that way."

"Sure!" Lily nods while Edward "examines" the patient's injury.

"It's a very straight cut," he informs us seriously. "Shouldn't be a problem. Dr. Alice?"

"Yes?" Alice eyes are shining. She's such a child herself.

"I need the scissors, the needle, and the brown thread."

"Yes, Dr. Edward."

_Mmm… Dr. Edward looks equal parts hot and cute with his glasses on and a white tissue fastened to his ears with rubber bands._

He starts to sew the tear, looking totally sweet as he concentrates on his task. I must say he's doing an admirable job. It would have looked crappy if I had done it. Once he's finished, he dresses the wound, shines a light in the patient's eyes, takes off his gloves, and nods to us.

"I predict a full recovery. He'll be as good as new in a few days, but make sure he gets plenty of rest," he addresses Lily. He wraps the doll into a blanket and hands it to her. "He's been very brave."

"Thank you!" beams Lily. "Look, Mommy!" She turns to Rose, who's been watching from the door.

"Wow, honey, that's great!" she smiles, mouthing a wordless "thanks" to Edward.

"Nice work, Dr. Cullen," I smile, peeling off my tissue mask.

"Thanks, Nurse Bella."

"Do you have one of those naughty nurse outfits, Bella?" Alice giggles. "Oh, forget it! I don't even want to know…"

I can't help but laugh. "No! Besides, I doubt that I'd fit into one at this point."

Edward kisses my cheek sweetly, and we join the rest of the family in the garden. Carlisle isn't there, nor is Esme, and I hope they're not fighting about the incident earlier. Didy has Sal, the black cat, in her lap and chats with Jasper, while Aro and Emmett enjoy a beer as they set up the barbeque. Rose has Anna on her lap while Lily plays with her Barbies. Grabbing a beer, Edward joins the guys at the grill and I sit with Rose. Little Anna stretches out her arms for me, her toothy grin making my heart flutter in anticipation of things to come. Rose sits her on my lap and Anna and I play pat-a-cake. Her giggles are infectious, and she doesn't stop even after the fifteenth time.

Esme and Carlisle return shortly before dinner, and we all stuff ourselves with steaks and salads and baked potatoes. The atmosphere is relaxed once again, and everyone seems to be enjoying the mellow temperatures and the beautiful sunset. I talk a little more with Didy, who is a thoroughly charming and delightful person. She tells me about her work as a travel journalist, which is apparently how she met Aro. Like him, she has been married before and has no children, loving her independence and her trips around the world. It seems a match made in heaven.

It gets dark and Emmett carries sleeping Anna upstairs, returning with the baby monitor. Candles glow on the table and soft music wafts out from the living room. It's getting cool and I wrap my soft mohair shawl around me, nestling into Edward's side. His fingers keep running little circles on my thigh as he discusses the upcoming elections with Aro and Esme. Carlisle now and then intercedes, and I can't help but notice that he's always diametrically opposed to his brother, if not Edward. It's a little exasperating.

"Bella?" Rose, who's been upstairs saying goodnight to Lily, takes a seat next to me.

"Hi, Rose."

Once again, I feel glad that Rose and I have established a very friendly relationship. It didn't seem likely in the beginning, but we've become closer, especially since I got pregnant.

"How're you doing?"

She smiles, her eyes shining in the flickering candlelight. She looks beautiful with her long lashes and full red lips, her hair up in an elegant twist.

"I'm great," I say softly. "My blood pressure is normal, the baby is okay… We're starting a birthing class next week," I add. "And the nursery looks fantastic. Esme did a stellar job. You guys need to come over and see it."

"Do you have everything yet?"

"No," I shake my head. "We picked out a stroller and cradle and a changing table, but we still need a lot of clothes and stuff."

"Are you going to have a baby shower?" An unusual note of excitement resonates in Rose's voice.

"I don't know. I never thought about it…"

This, of course, is when Alice joins our conversation, having heard the last bit. It's as if she had some kind of radar.

"Oh, you _have_ to have one, Bella!" She grins from ear to ear.

"Yeah," Rose chimes in with her sister. "We'd be glad to organize everything for you! All you'd have to do is sit there and open the gifts!"

Now, they're both smiling at me like maniacs, and despite the lack of physical resemblance, they manage to look very much alike. It gets hilarious when Edward, just for the sake of it, beams at me too.

_God, I can't wait to meet my daughter. With that gene pool, she'll be stunning._

Of course, we now have the attention of the whole table, and before I know it, I have agreed to have a baby shower in August.

At half-past eleven, Esme and Ali and I sneak into the house to gather gifts and cake and champagne. At the stroke of midnight, everybody sings "Happy Birthday" to Edward, following it with hugs and kisses and toasting.

_Apple juice sucks._

Edward blows out thirty-nine candles and squeezes his eyes shut as he makes a wish. While we all have a piece of the fabulous chocolate-walnut cake Esme made, Edward opens his gifts, thanking everyone profusely. There's the usual stuff like books and DVDs, but also sweet and thoughtful things. Tickets for a piano concert at Lincoln Center from Emmett and Rose, a cookbook, rare dried herbs as well as two crates of red wine from Italy from Aro and Didy, an antique crystal chandelier from Esme and Carlisle, Prada flip-flops from Alice and Jasper.

Since I will give Edward my main present in private, he gets to unwrap vintage emerald cufflinks, sheet music entitled _Piano for Babies_, more books, a new case for his glasses and many more trinkets and little things. Edward kisses me softly, murmuring his thanks against my lips.

Aro produces a bottle of brandy and he, Carlisle, Jasper and Rose each have one. Edward declines, sharing a second piece of cake with me.

It's after one when we got to bed, and I am yawning all the way upstairs. I go to the bathroom once we're in our room, and when I return, Edward has already stripped down to his boxer briefs, lounging on the bed with his arms behind his head, grinning as he sees me in my little silk nightie.

"Hey," he rasps.

"Hey…"

I sit down next to him and place a tender kiss on his lips.

"Mmm," Edward hums. "Thank you for the gorgeous presents, my love."

"There's still one to come," I murmur.

"Oh, yeah?" he chuckles. "I was rather hoping we might both come…"

I giggle, capturing his lower lip with mine. His skin is scruffy and scratchy, contrasting the softness of his lips. Everything about Edward is warm and welcoming and feeling like home. He licks over my lips before our tongues connect in a long, lazy, wet kiss. It's filled with love and tenderness, and shoots straight to my sex, as all of Edward's kisses do.

My hands begin to roam my husband's toned upper body, fingertips tickling his chest hair, thumbs stroking over his nipples. His whispers are hot in my mouth, his hand slipping underneath my nightdress on the inside of my thigh.

I can feel his heart thump heavily inside his chest, both our breaths coming in gasps. Soft fingertips slide higher, to where I'm slick and swollen, a little whimper escaping me as Edward begins to tease me. I move and straddle his lap to give him better access – and to be able to sneak my own hand into his underwear. His skin is so soft, so warm, and he is so hard as I wrap my hand around him. He moans when I stroke him, pushing two fingers into me, which makes me moan as well.

With my free hand, I fumble with his boxers and Edward lifts his butt so I can pull them lower, until he uses his toes to wiggle out of them completely. Seconds later, we're connected, and I'm slowly moving on top of him while we continue to kiss and murmur, trying to be as close as possible.

Edward's eyes are dark and warm, and my heart is wide open as his whispers caress my skin. There's a sort of vulnerability about him; I love that he's strong and manly, and at the same time, tender and unguarded with me.

He touches my breasts, my belly, my cheeks. I run my fingers through his hair. He sucks my nipple into his mouth through the silk of my nightie. The pressure is getting tighter, my moves becoming more urgent, Edward's hands supporting my hips as he lifts me up and down. I come suddenly, sooner than I anticipated, muffling my cries in his hair. I ride out every last spasm and Edward groans deep in his throat, his choppy breathing hot on my chest.

"Oh Isabella," he mumbles against my skin, both of us boneless and sweaty. "I love you."

Only when I wake up in the middle of the night do I realize that I didn't give him his present. Well, I'll do it in the morning; it'll still be his birthday. I'm hot, with Edward's warm body pressed into mine, his arm wound around me. I need to pee, and I desperately need a cold drink. I carefully disentangle from his embrace without waking him and pad to the bathroom. I slip on a thin silk robe after washing my hands and leave the room in search for a drink. I hope there's some Sprite in the fridge. Or maybe some buttermilk.

The house is dark and silent, the stairs creaking as I walk downstairs. When I get to the hallway, I notice a sliver of light under the library door, and as I pass it, I hear voices.

It's Carlisle and Aro, both of them sounding angry. I don't want to eavesdrop and continue on my journey to the kitchen when the mention of Edward's name makes me stop.

"I'm simply afraid that the boy is ruining everything for himself," Carlisle says. "He's been working so hard, and for what? To throw it away?"

"He's not throwing anything away," Aro counters, sounding exasperated. "Can't you see? He's more of a man than you or I have ever been –"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

_Whoa._ I've never heard Carlisle use foul language.

"This isn't about Edward, is it?" Aro says. "It's about Dad."

It gets silent, and I don't want to listen any further. Afraid that the door might suddenly open, I forego my plans to get a drink and sneak back into our bedroom. Edward half-wakes when I climb into bed and gulp down a glass of plain old water before I lie down. He rolls over and wraps his arm around me.

"Mmm love…" he mumbles, burying his face in my neck. Seconds later, his body gets heavy and relaxed and I know he's asleep.

I, however, can't sleep for a long time.

**EDWARD**

My birthday was lovely. We spent the day on the beach, picnicking and swimming, playing with our nieces and fooling around. For dinner, we went to a gorgeous restaurant and had amazing food.

Bella finally got to present me with her special gift in the morning, and I understood why she wanted to do it in private, because when I saw it, my breath caught and I had to swallow. It's a framed photograph of her, obviously taken recently. She's nude, her beautiful round belly on full display, her hair flowing around her shoulders, a smile on her face that's at once shy and seductive. You can't see any details because it's shot from such a clever angle, but there's the suggestion of half a nipple, and the shot ends right above where the patch of hair covering her girly parts would begin.

It's beautiful. Seth took it a few days ago, she said, blushing when she told me how embarrassed she was at first when she was naked in front of her best friend.

"He made it so easy though," she said.

"It's incredible," I replied, and kissed her exuberantly.

Now we've been home for two days, and I'm back to the daily grind at the hospital. Since our last encounter, Victoria has been keeping her distance, and I don't know whether this is a good or a bad sign. I just hope it's neither. Ben has eased himself into his position, and I'd like to think that we really make a good team together. Demetri is happy with our work, which is what matters, I suppose.

Tonight is our first childbirth class, and Bella will pick me up at a quarter to six. I can't wait for her to come into my office, and when she does, my heart lurches.

"Hey," she smiles.

"Hey…" Getting up, I take off my glasses and wrap my arms around her. Her lips are soft as we kiss. She tastes like apples.

"Ready to go?"

"Give me a second, 'kay?"

I pull her with me as I walk back to shut down the computer. Bella sits in my lap and nuzzles my ear with her nose.

"I heard the funniest thing earlier," she murmurs, giggling softly.

"Oh, yeah? What was it?"

"You know how the European tour of the play was supposed to begin about now?" Her dark eyes are mischievous.

"Yes," I say.

"Well… Jane won't be able to take my part, because, guess what?"

"Uh. No idea." I kiss her nose.

"Guess." Bella tickles me behind my ear.

"She fucked up so bad that Cornelius threw her out?"

"No."

"She broke a leg?"

"No."

"So just tell me."

"Jane," Bella draws the sentence out, "is pregnant." And while I gasp, she tops it. "With twins."

We both giggle so hard that Bella's laughs become adorable little snorts, which result in a couple of hiccups. In the end, Bella jumps out of my lap and makes a beeline for the bathroom to pee while I'm still chuckling.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Dear readers, thank you so much for your ongoing support. Each and every one of your reviews means so, so much to me!**

**Review and you'll receive a teaser for chapter 32…**

**xoxo**

**harperpitt**


	32. It Puzzles Me So

**A/N:**

**As always, huge big thanks go to my wonderful beta dellaterra.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 32: **It Puzzles Me So**

**BELLA**

I lean back against Edward. His hands are placed on my belly, my hands on his.

"Okay," Lisa says, having explained about the Alexander technique. "We will do the first breathing exercise now."

She demonstrates how we are supposed to breathe during labor, and while I want to giggle, Edward is completely serious. I mean, how hard is it to breathe? Okay, maybe the fact that I studied acting, and that I actually_ learned_ the Alexander technique gives me a slight advantage.

So far, this first class has been very nice. Lisa spoke about the various schools of preparation for birth, telling us that her class would embrace a lot of what the most popular ones teach. We would learn about pain management, and Dad's role in delivery. Whether we want an epidural, if our partner wants to cut the umbilical cord, and how to start breastfeeding.

It's good to talk to other parents expecting for the first time. The couple next to us, Lucy and Adam are in their late thirties, and I like them at once. They laugh a lot, and I can tell they're just as excited to be parents as we are.

Edward may be a doctor, but he's not a midwife, and he's incredibly sweet, trying to learn, and eager to do everything correctly.

Lisa makes her rounds while the couples relax and breathe, sometimes speaking softly.

"Bella, Edward?"

We both look up at her like schoolchildren.

"Yes?"

"You're doing fine."

Edward kisses my ear, and our little girl kicks gently, which proves to me that I am totally relaxed, because she usually starts her acrobatics when I've settled down. Edward feels it too, his fingers moving over the spot where she just nudged us.

"Now let's try some breathing techniques for the pushing process," Lisa says. "You might want to take very deep breaths, or shallower ones. It's up to you. The fact is that breathing can give you some calm, and your baby as well. Remember that the birthing process means a lot of stress for your baby too, so you'll want to keep him or her oxygenated and strong."

Edward is listening with concentration, his arms enfolding me and the baby, his chin on my shoulder.

"Breathing will help you through the contractions, and working as a team will make it all easier."

I realize that Lisa is already finishing her class, and I'm surprised by how the time flew by.

We join into the respectful applause and get up from our yoga mat. Well, actually, Edward helps me. I never expected to be this clumsy by my twenty-sixth week, but sometimes, it's hard to keep my balance.

Everyone returns their mats to the closet and we chat with Lucy and Adam for a few minutes. She really is a darling, reminding me a little bit of Alice. They ask whether we want to join them for a bite to eat at a nearby restaurant, and Edward and I readily agree. Saying good-bye to Lisa, we leave the room and make our way down the hall. Edward's hand is wrapped around mine and he smiles, asking me what I fancy for dinner.

"Hmm… I think I'd like some pasta. What about you, Lucy?"

We wait in front of the elevator.

"Yeah, that sounds great."

"Oh, Edward," a well-known voice trills, and everyone turns around.

Of course. Victoria.

"Hi there," she smiles at the four of us. "Did you attend Lisa's birthing class?"

"Yes," Edward replies as Victoria manages to stand a little bit too close to him.

The door of the elevator opens and Lucy and Adam get in. Victoria stares at Edward expectantly.

"Did you think about what I said to you the other night?" she asks.

Adam is keeping the door open for us, waiting.

"Sorry, Victoria, but can we talk another time?" Edward says, pulling me into the elevator with him.

"Sure, but don't forget about it," she calls after him as the doors slide closed.

"Sorry about that," Edward shrugs. "That was my coworker. She tends to be a little odd."

"Amazing hair," says Lucy.

Later that evening, after I had a lovely plate of cannelloni, we part from our new friends and walk back home. Edward's arm is around my shoulder as we enjoy the slightly cooler air. We talk about the class and about the other parents. With every passing day, it gets more real. Three months from now a tiny human being will be living with us.

"What was Victoria talking about earlier?" I don't even know what made me ask this.

Edward sighs and runs a hand through his hair, lightly shaking his head.

"I have no freaking idea. She's made other remarks, but I don'tgpü get it. A couple of times, I thought she was trying to hit on me, but I'm pretty sure she's not. I don't get her."

"Huh." I snuggle closer into Edward's embrace, wrapping my arms around his waist.

Edward kisses the top of my head.

"I'm glad you had that hunch right away and refused to let her be your OB/Gyn," he muses. "She's doing a great job and all, but sometimes she gets on my nerves. She even told me that ice cream is dangerous."

This time, it's me who's shaking her head.

"Want some ice cream?" Edward asks as we reach Milly's Ice Cream Parlor.

=====oOo=====

We spend the Fourth of July at Rose and Emmett's with the family. Aro and Didy are there as well. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, with no trace of the tense atmosphere tat permeated the beach house two weeks ago. I never told Edward about the conversation I overheard between Carlisle and Aro that one night. I don't see that it would do any good.

I play with Anna, who is getting cuter all the time, but it's a hot day, and my back hurts. Our daughter is very active, and her kicks are sometimes uncomfortable, especially when she uses my inner organs as punching balls. I need to pee all the time and my feet are swollen.

All in all, I don't feel very attractive, and I'm glad when we get home and I can lie back in the tub filled with lukewarm water. I close my eyes. Lizzie has stopped kicking, so I gather she's asleep. I think about the next few days. Several pieces of furniture will be delivered tomorrow, and Edward wants to set things up in the nursery.

A knock resounds on the door.

"Yes?" I open my eyes.

"Hey." Edward peeps in through the door. "How d'you feel?"

He looks adorable with his tousled hair and crooked smirk, wearing shorts and a sleeveless undershirt, his feet bare.

"I thought you might fancy a refreshing beverage," he says funnily, producing a glass of what looks like freshly made lemonade. With crushed ice.

"Why don't you come in?"

He shrugs, almost shyly. "I didn't want to disturb you. You were tired."

"You're not disturbing me."

"Good." He shuts the door behind him, sitting on the edge of the tub and handing me the drink. It has a pink straw.

"Mmm." I take a few sips. It's cool and tart, just slightly sweet. Perfect.

Edward watches me with a smile, his fingertips trailing idly through the water, now and then brushing my thigh. His eyes are so loving, so… _adoring_. I can see him swallow.

"You're beautiful," he says thickly.

"I weighed myself today," I reply glumly. "I've gained nineteen pounds. _Nineteen_, Edward!"

My throat constricts and I sit up in an effort to distract myself so I don't start bawling like an idiot. The photo shoot with _Look! New York_ is coming up next week, and I have developed this fear that, once they see me, they'll back out.

"Sounds perfect," Edward smiles.

I bite my lip. It's not perfect. I mean, of course my stomach is growing all the time, but it's not just that. My boobs, and my thighs, and… everything!

"I'm fat," I say, knowing that this discussion is bound to end badly.

"You're not." Edward takes my hand, which is starting to get pruny. He traces my fingers, turning it and stroking my palm, the inside of my wrist. "You're so beautiful, Bella, that I cannot even put it into words. The fact that, in there, is our baby – that's _beautiful_."

I shake my head, a stubborn tear escaping my eye.

"I'm afraid," I mumble, rubbing my eye. "What if my body never gets back to how it was?"

"I don't believe that," Edward says. "But even if it doesn't, you'll still be the most beautiful woman I ever saw."

"You say that _now_."

I've been cranky all day, and I know that I'm taking it out on Edward right now, and that it is unfair, but I don't seem to be able to stop.

"I'll always say that," Edward insists.

"How can you know?" I frown. "You can't know that." Edward's smile only serves to rile me up. "Look!" I say, lifting my breasts. "They're huge, and it's bound to get worse! They'll be saggy and… and _sad_ after this!"

Edward's face contorts in a mixture of amusement – which he tries to hide – and excitement about the way, I guess, I am holding up my breasts.

"Baby… You…" He swallows. "Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"

"No," I say, realizing that I'm pouting like a five-year-old. "Don't make fun of me."

"Oh, Isabella," he chuckles throatily. "Believe me, it's not a laughing matter." He licks his lips, now eying me brazenly. "Come here."

He scoots closer, sliding his arms around me and drawing me into a slow kiss. His lips are soft and warm as they melt with mine. He shaved this morning, but now a light stubble covers his jaw and chin. Not caring that I'll get him wet, I wrap my arms around his neck.

I close my eyes and relax into his warmth, running my hands through his hair, over his ears, sighing as his tongue caresses my lips. Soon, we're kissing passionately, nibbling and licking and sucking, small moans echoing from the bathroom tiles. Slipping his arms under my shoulders, Edward pulls me higher and somehow manages – despite my giggling squeals of protest – to lift me up in his arms and to carry me to the bedroom.

Cedric, who has been lounging on the comforter, is woken from a deep dream and makes his own sounds of protest as he leaves the room.

Edward's clothes land on the floor and we end up facing each other on our sides, kissing feverishly. I hook my leg around his hip, feeling him strain against my thigh. He groans when I take him in my hand, stroking up and down a few times. Our kisses get wet and sloppy and I can't wait another second so I try to push him onto his back, and he gets it, moving for me so I can straddle his lap. I know he likes it when I'm on top and he can watch me. His smile gives his excitement away as he reaches out and cups my breasts.

"Fucking gorgeous," he murmurs hoarsely.

I sit up on my knees, balancing over him until I feel him. Edward helps me navigate because my belly makes things a bit difficult, and then I sink down and we're joined, both of us moaning with relief.

It's the best feeling in the world, proving to me that we're made for each other, two pieces of a puzzle, however clichéd that sounds. It's so basic, like eating when you're hungry, like basking in the warm sun.

My hands move over Edward's chest, fingers spreading, hair bristling against my palms. We watch each other in our pleasure, eyes connecting while our bodies express all the things that words cannot.

"I love you," I whisper between chopped breaths, and Edward grabs my hand and kisses it before he sucks two fingers into his mouth, swirling his hot tongue around them. Our bodies are getting slick with sweat, our sounds more urgent.

Edward's wet fingers travel down my throat and past my collarbone, pausing by my nipple. I hiss in a mixture of joy and sensitivity as he circles the touchy spot.

"Fuck… I'm sorry…" he pants.

"'s okay… Don't stop… Don't stop…"

Leaning back a little, I'm able to grasp his balls and when I squeeze just the tiniest bit, Edward's moan, deep in his throat, sounds a bit like a growl. He slips his hand lower until his thumb is pressed against me and he applies the perfect amount of pressure and moves in exactly the perfect way, reducing me to a stuttering and throbbing mess.

He follows immediately, shuddering as he is overwhelmed by his own release, his eyes fluttering and his lips forming a little o.

I collapse by his side, mindful not to land on my belly – which wouldn't be possible anyway. I bury my face near his armpit and try to regain my breath. His skin is salty with sweat and he smells delicious. Like sex and man. Like home and Edward.

"Oomph," is the sound he makes. His chest is heaving and as if he'd taken a run. He kisses my hair. "I love you," he murmurs. "I love you so much."

My hand is on his heart, feeling its rapid beat slowing gradually as Edward continues to whisper tender words to me. My eyes are drooping.

"Love you," I mumble into his bicep. "Loveyou…"

**EDWARD**

Bella looks adorable when she sleeps, all rosy cheeks and pouty lips. Her naked body is pressed against mine, her breathing low and even. She sometimes talks in her sleep, which is actually what woke me up a few minutes ago. She was mumbling, the only thing I understood being "mysexyman." Which made me figuratively high-five myself.

A slight sensation by my hip makes me think she's waking, but she's not moving. I realize that it's the baby who has woken. The lump in my throat equals my desire to sing at the top of my voice.

I enjoy the luxury of staying in bed with my sleeping wife and my lively daughter for another ten minutes before I decide to wake them with breakfast in bed. I sneak into the bathroom, brush my teeth and put on some pajama pants. Following a sudden inspiration, I step on the scales. I actually had the idea last night during Bella's little rant.

I grin when I read the number.

_I knew it!_

Cedric welcomes me with a reproachful face when I get to the kitchen, and I fill his bowl with food and pat him and scratch behind his ears before I get to work. Scrambled eggs, toast, sausage, orange juice and pancakes.

Bella, I believe, actually wakes from the smell wafting over her as I set down the tray on her bedside table and slip back beneath the sheets.

Her nose wrinkles and her mouth opens before her eyes flutter.

"Hi," I whisper, kissing her ear.

"Mmnn…"

"Good morning."

"Morning…" she yawns.

I nuzzle her neck with my nose.

"Sleep well?"

"Yeah…" She turns around and buries her face in my chest. "Hmm, you feel nice…"

"So do you." I kiss the top of her head.

"You made breakfast."

"I did."

"Smells good."

"Dig in."

"I will." She places a kiss on my chest. "Back in a minute…"

I watch her as she rolls out of bed and walks to the bathroom, yawning once more and stroking her naked belly. She is wearing one of my T-shirts when she returns, and I can clearly see her bellybutton through the cotton. She has pulled her hair into a ponytail and looks a lot more awake than just now, and incredibly sweet. She smiles sheepishly as she rejoins me in bed. She kisses me softly, her lips tasting minty.

"Sorry I was so silly last night…"

"You weren't," I say, placing a kiss on her nose. "Actually, I thought about what you said, and I kind of understand your worries…"

A frown line appears between her eyebrows.

"What do you mean?"

"Um, I…" I pause but go on before Bella gets even more worried. "I stepped on the scales, baby." And I can't help my grin. "I've gained five pounds as well."

"What do you mean?"

"Sympathy weight," I inform her.

"Sympathy what?"

"Research proves it," I say.

Bella raises her brows, then narrows her large brown eyes.

"And you're proud of that? Or what?"

And with that, she tackles me, tickling, squeezing, biting and kissing, and I let her win. No, scratch that, I don't "let" her win. She wins. I may be physically stronger, but Bella's tactics are, let's say, creative.

And so our day starts like the last one ended, her on top of me, our bodies melting until we're panting and exhausted.

Our breakfast has gone cold by the time we get to eat it, but neither of us could care less.

An hour later, our doorbell rings and boxes and pieces of furniture are brought into the nursery. Together, we think of where to place the changing table and the chest of drawers, and I carry stuff around until we're both satisfied while Bella puts all the tiny clothes in the washing machine. I install the warming lamp over the changing table and Bella tries out the baby monitor, taking it downstairs and chanting "Test, test" from the kitchen.

When I join her, she's sitting on the terrace with her feet propped up on a stool. Cedric is next to her, his face pressed into her thigh, purring happily. Bella is reading, looking up when she hears me.

"I need to leave in an hour," I sigh. Bella stretches out her hand for mine and pulls me closer. I sit down and kiss her cheek. "I don't think I'll be back before two or three a.m."

She doesn't respond, but puts her head on my shoulder. I can tell she's tired. The heat and the weight of the baby exhaust her. I bend down and kiss her belly.

"Hey Lizzie," I say softly. "How're you doing in there?"

After a moment, I'm rewarded with the gentlest kick. It's happened a few times now, so I think she does recognize my voice. It's the most touching thing ever.

"We made your room nicer today," I murmur. "I think you'll love it. And Mommy chose you a pink baby monitor."

Bella laughs and it vibrates through her body. Her fingers are in my hair as she massages my scalp. How I would love to stay with her and not go to work today. We're eleven-and-a-half weeks from the estimated due date, but I tend to worry about her and our little one when I'm gone, and check in with her every chance I get. I guess it's just that, being a doctor, I'm all too well aware of all the things that can go wrong.

"Do you want lunch before you go?" Bella asks.

"I'll make us some sandwiches," I offer.

"No," she says. "You stay here and relax before you leave. I got it."

"You have the sweetest and most caring mommy ever," I mumble against her stomach, and Bella chuckles before she slowly gets up.

My shift starts out easily. Ben and I discuss patients and I make my rounds with him before sitting in my office to do some paperwork. The afternoon brings some minor surgery. I have a salad at eight and check on patients again. Demetri wants to be filled in on the latest developments before he leaves.

It's a quiet night. I stop by at the nurses' station around ten and chat with Jen, who asks about Bella and the baby. Talking about them always puts the biggest smile on my face. I tell Jen about our childbirth class and the nursery and how Bella exists on ice cream lately.

Back in my office, I decide to do some paperwork that has been neglected before I head out. It's after midnight, and I'm on call until six, but I can be paged if necessary.

A knock on my door startles me out of boring files.

"Yes?"

_Oh, no. Not again. Victoria._

"Hi," I greet her curtly. I haven't seen her in a couple of days, not that I missed her.

"Hi, Edward," she says, closing the door behind her. She looks tired. "Can… can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure. Have a seat."

"Edward, I… I need to tell you this in confidence, okay?"

"Okaaay…"

I take off my glasses and polish them with a tissue.

"I… I saw Ben earlier today, and he… he was drinking something from a little flask."

I frown.

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean, Edward. Have you never noticed it? On his breath? In his behavior?"

I almost laugh out loud, because what Victoria is suggesting is ludicrous. There isn't a more responsible and level-headed guy than Ben.

"No," I say. "I haven't. I've known Dr. Cheney for a long time, and his conduct has never been anything but professional and responsible."

Victoria huffs. "Oh, yeah? I'm not so sure about that. I really don't think he's the right person for this position. But maybe I should talk with someone else if you don't believe me."

"I don't believe you," I say confidently, although I don't like her menacing undertone. "I'm sure you were just mistaken. Maybe he was taking some medicine."

Victoria laughs unpleasantly. "Oh, Edward. You're so blind."

"You can't just walk around spreading rumors, Victoria," I say in a low voice. "You don't want to ruin his career, do you? What has he ever done to you?"

"Nothing," she shrugs. "He's just not the right person for the job is all I'm saying."

"Well, I think he is exactly the right person for the job," I reply. "So please stop this."

"As you wish, Edward." She slides out of her chair and walks to the door, where she turns. "But mark my words."

I should go after her and shake her, telling her that I am sick of her insinuations and allusions, her attempts at flirting and her warnings. But I don't.

I hope she's just this strange person who barks and doesn't bite.

I don't want to make anything big of it, and give her even more ammunition.

Things have been going so well at work. I don't want this harmony disturbed.

I'll talk to Ben tomorrow, just to give him a heads-up.

And I'll talk to Victoria when there's a quiet moment, and try and find out what this is all about.

Right now, all I want is to get back home to my wife.

**BELLA**

_I'm running through endless grey corridors, like a maze. I can feel Edward's presence _– _ his warmth, his strength _– _but I can't see him._

_My feet are naked and it's sand I'm running through, but I'm hardly moving anymore from this spot, and it feels like quicksand. _

_I'm weighed down by something, and I realize that it is my belly, which is absolutely huge. I want to run, but I feel so tired and heavy and clumsy._

"_Edward!" I shout, knowing that he's somewhere, and that he needs me._

_I pass Alice, who is sitting on a windowsill with a crystal ball. "You go, girl!" she cheers, waving a pom-pom._

_The scenery changes, and I'm in a park, and it's humid and dark, but my feet are still stuck and I have to use all my strength to go forward._

"_Edward!" I scream again._

_And there, in the distance, I can see him. He's wearing his scrubs, and there is blood on them. He has the pink baby monitor in his hand, and uses it like a megaphone._

"_Isabella! Isabella! You need to go home! You're not safe here!"_

"_No," I yell, all breathless. "You go home, darling! Please! Please!"_

_I'm so hot. I can't breathe. _

"_Please," I repeat. "Please…"_

"Please…"

"Bella… Baby…"

Strong arms surround me, and I know I'm safe before I even wake completely.

"Shhh… It was just a bad dream…"

He runs his fingers up and down my side in a soothing manner, murmuring into my hair.

"It's okay. Shhh…"

With a soft mewl, I turn in his arms and bury my face in his chest.

"Edward," I whisper hoarsely. "I was so afraid."

"Everything's fine, baby. It was just a dream."

Taking a deep breath, I feel my heart calm down. Edward draws small circles on my back.

"I'm sorry I woke you," I mumble. "What's the time?"

"Six, I think," Edward yawns. "Let's go back to sleep, okay?"

I don't reply but kiss his throat and settle my head under his chin. I'm still warm, but it's okay because of the feeling of security he provides. Slowly, I drift back into dreamland, and this time, it's calm and peaceful.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Dear, dear readers, thank you so much for your support. Special huge big thanks to those of you who take the time to review – I would have quit without you a long time ago! **

**Have a lovely Easter holiday to those of you who celebrate it! Chocolate eggs for everyone!**

**xoxo**

**harperpitt**


	33. Look What I Found

**A/N:**

**Another chapter beta'ed by the wonderful dellaterra. Thank you so, so much!**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 33: **Look What I Found**

**EDWARD**

Bella rests her head on my shoulder, sighing happily.

"This is nice."

I hum, kissing the top of her head. It's Saturday, and I don't have to work, so we're taking a walk in Central Park. At twenty-nine weeks pregnant, Bella looks more beautiful than ever, but sometimes struggles with her expanding body. Back pain, leg cramps and heartburn are troubling her, and our daughter is messing with her sleep. Both of them are alright, which is the most important thing, but I'd love to take the little burden from Bella if I could.

She's wearing a flowery cotton dress and flip-flops, her sunglasses on her small, freckled nose. She finishes her strawberry ice cream and hands me the cone. I nibble on it as we watch the goings-on at Hecksher Playground.

Our baby kicks softly against my palm, and I smile.

"Hey, little pea."

Bella smiles and kisses my neck, then yawns.

"D'you want to go home?" I ask.

"Hmm, maybe in a little while. I like sitting here with you."

"I like sitting here with you, too," I reply, kissing her temple.

Lizzie kicks again, as if she wants to partake in our conversation.

"Ugh." Bella's face scrunches, and she puts both hands on her belly, which feels a bit harder. Braxton Hicks contractions have been bothering her for weeks, and there's no real need to worry, but I hate to see her so uncomfortable every time it happens.

She relaxes after a couple of minutes, taking a deep breath.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." She pushes her sunglasses up into her hair and looks into my eyes. "I want to have this baby now, Edward."

She's so serious and so cute that I can't help but chuckle.

"I know, love. Twenty-nine down, eleven more to go." I kiss her soft lips.

"Can we switch now?" she murmurs, and I can feel her smile against my lips. "You do the remaining weeks, and I'll go out and work?"

"Sure. It'll just take me a second…" Bending down, I address her swollen belly. "Hey, pea. Guess what? You're coming over…"

Bella's giggle merges into a hiccup. Her whole body seems to reverberate. I kiss our daughter and face her again.

"Let's walk a bit?" she suggests, lightly rubbing her lower back.

"Sure," I murmur. I am so giving her a massage when we're home.

Bella places her hand in mine and we start to walk in the direction of the Lake. The sun is low, placing a golden shimmer on the surface of the water. It's peaceful. Since Bella tends to get out of breath, we're walking slowly, talking about this and that, laughing a lot. The whole of New York seems to be at the park today – there are kids playing and tourists, joggers, crazy people and artists, dogs, ice cream cars and young lovers.

A couple catches my eye, walking in our direction, The first thing I notice is the tall black man with his arm around a girl. The second thing is her hair, a strawberry blond I used to know so well. As they're getting closer, I realize that I'm right, and also that she has spotted me.

For a second, nervousness tugs at my stomach.

"Look at that," Bella chuckles, pointing at a toddler trying to hold a dog by its tail.

I smile halfheartedly.

"Bella, um, there's…"

"Hmm?" She looks up and follows my eyes.

Tanya and her friend close the remaining few feet between us.

"Hi, Edward," she says softly. "Bella. You look great. I didn't know…"

She looks different than before. Relaxed. Happy. She's wearing black jeans and a Batman T-shirt. The guy by her side is very tall and muscular, and very handsome.

"Sorry, this is Edward, my ex-husband," she explains easily. "And his wife, Bella." She smiles up at the man, who smiles back in response.

"Hi," he says, before she can introduce us. "I'm Amun." He shakes our hands.

"Hi," I say. "Good to meet you."

"Hello," Bella says, looking impressed by the man's exotic beauty.

"Congratulations," Tanya says, eyeing Bella's stomach.

"Thanks," she says.

"When's your due date?" Amun asks with interest.

"September sixteenth. I wish it were tomorrow," Bella says.

"I get you," he replies, his fingers entwining with Tanya's. "My sister had her little boy a couple of months ago, and she went a little crazy toward the end."

"Amun and his sister have a yoga studio," Tanya explains. "That's how we met."

"You're doing yoga?" Bella asks.

"I'm studying to be an instructor," Tanya says, not without pride, and Amun gives her a dimpled smile.

"Wow, that's great, Tanya," I say, and I mean it. She looks so happy, and this guy seems so perfect for her. She is still very beautiful, but no longer in that model-like way. Well, they _might_ have stepped out of an ad right now because they look so good together, but still.

We chat for another few minutes before we part ways. Bella takes my hand and draws small circles on my thumb.

"Was that weird?" she asks.

"I don't know. Yeah, I guess it was a bit. But it was okay."

"Yes," she agrees. "It was."

"It's good," I say thoughtfully- "To know that people can get it right."

"She seems really happy."

A deep sigh escapes my lungs, and I draw Bella into my side.

"I love you," I murmur, kissing the top of her head.

=====oOo=====

The next morning is gruesome.

I haven't seen much of Victoria since she made her insinuations, and when we had to work together, there was no time for anything else but our patients.

I have kept an eye on Ben, hating myself for letting her words creep into my consciousness. I know that what she said about him was a lie, but I still seem to want to be absolutely certain. And I am. Ben's behavior is as flawless as it's always been, and he is a reliable and brilliant surgeon. If only I knew what prompted her to talk to me in the first place.

What would she gain by discrediting Ben?

A seven-hour operation is followed by surgery on a ninety-year-old woman's pacemaker. By the time I walk to my office, it's after five and I'm starving, so I make a stop at the cafeteria to grab a sandwich.

Bella sent me a message two hours ago.

_I bought raspberries at the market & will now make a pie! The moving swing thingy was delivered this morning, it looks cute. Think you'll be home for dinner? Love you._

I'm balancing my sandwich, an apple and a can of Snapple as I walk back to my office while typing in a reply.

_**Give me two hours my loveliest love, and I'm all yours…**_

Bella has been cooking and baking a lot over the past months, constantly getting better at it. She's actually becoming a little nester, reorganizing stuff in the nursery and going through her wardrobe. Three boxes went to Goodwill, and she asked me if she might go through my stuff as well. I said yes, and I'm curious to see what she will present me with.

"Edward."

_Fuck. My. Life._

"Yes, Victoria?"

My hand on the doorknob, I turn around to face her.

"How's Bella?"

"Fine, thank you."

"I had these brochures delivered," she says, handing them to me. "They're about the latest discoveries on water births."

"Um, thanks. That's very thoughtful of you."

_Really? Water births, Victoria?_

"No big deal." She starts to leave, but turns around once more. "Oh, and Edward, you really should talk to Demetri about Ben's… problem. I'm absolutely certain that he needs to be replaced."

"That's bullshit, Victoria, and you know it."

"Uh-uh, Edward." She shakes her head. "I know what I know." She turns away to leave.

"Okay, I'm so done with this shit." I'm getting really, really angry, and my tone reflects it. "What's this about?"

"A more capable doctor should take his position."

"Ben _is _capable. What have you got against him?"

Victoria's steel-blue eyes are hard, her nostrils flaring.

"He doesn't deserve this. He was in the competition, and turned the job down before it was even offered to him, and now he decides he wants to do it after all? That's ridiculous," she spits.

A nurse in training passes us by, Carol I think her name is, eyeing us curiously. I take a deep breath to calm myself.

Victoria doesn't even seem to notice.

"Talk to Demetri," she demands. "Tell him you want someone else. Or…"

"_Or what_?"

She doesn't reply though, and disappears like a bad spirit.

I shut the door to my office and sit down at my desk. Victoria has been behaving strangely for too long, and I'm sick of it. I won't tell Demetri yet, not wanting to stir up a storm in a teacup.

My appetite is long gone. Frankly, the one thing I'd like to do is smoke a cigarette, but I know better. I feel the need to talk to someone, but it can't be Ben. I don't want to bother him with this shit before I know what it's all about. The same goes for Bella.

Yawning, I rub my eyes and scrub the heels of my hands over my face. I'm developing a serious headache.

I don't think I'll be of any use after this. I just need to get out of here for the day.

I'll take care of the rest tomorrow.

**BELLA**

Edward is home much earlier than I expected him to be, looking completely drained. There are dark circles under his eyes and his hair is a wild mess, as if he had run his hands through it again and again.

"That was one God-awful day," he mutters as he buries his nose in my hair.

"Do you think my homemade lasagna will lift your spirits?"

I kiss his ear, and Edward groans softly, whether at my kiss or the prospect of food I don't know.

"It smells amazing… I'll just take a quick shower, okay?"

"Okay." I swiftly peck his lips and turn back to the salad.

By the time Edward returns, I have set the table on the terrace and poured him a glass of Chardonnay. The lasagna even looks edible.

So does Edward as he joins me, his hair slightly wet, wearing jeans and a white T-shirt, barefoot.

"Hey." He wraps his arms around me as I put the salad on the table and kisses my neck. He smells so good, like soap and vanilla, and I have to swallow. His lips are soft and warm, and his light scruff is tickly. He greets our daughter, drawing slow circles on my belly.

"Mmm," he sighs. "So good… You two feel so good."

I relax into his embrace, threading my fingers with his. We're silent for a few minutes, the only sounds coming from the traffic seven floors below and the soft music from inside.

When we finally sit down, Edward seems to have relaxed as well. He tucks into his lasagna like a man starving.

"This is delicious, baby."

"Thanks." I never thought I'd be able to cook. It's nice.

We chat easily about this and that. I can tell that Edward doesn't want to talk about his work, so I guess it really was gruesome, and Edward tends to be silent after such days. Maybe I don't even want to know. Maybe a child died. Maybe a baby. I'll never understand how he copes with that, but I realize that you have to find ways to do so, if you are a doctor. Push it into the dark recesses, maybe, where no one can find it, not even you.

We linger over dinner, and Edward has a second glass of wine. It's getting dark, and the sky turns from orange to pink to purple.

I tell Edward about my day. He hasn't seen the little swing seat for the baby yet. Rose told me that it saved her life when Lily wouldn't sleep. It vibrates and is supposed to be soothing.

"You didn't carry it upstairs by yourself, did you?" Edward frowns slightly.

"Of course not. The delivery guy did."

I take Edward's hand. "You're kind of tense." I pass my thumb over his wrist. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It was a long day, that's all."

He kisses me and then pulls me into his lap, burying his face in my breasts. I brush my hands through his hair, silky strands between my fingers. Edward sighs happily. His palm rests on my stomach, and I know that he can feel the baby move because he whispers "hello."

"Maybe she's dreaming," I murmur. "I read that she's able to dream by now. I wonder what it might be about?"

Edward is silent for a moment, but I can actually feel his smile against my skin, and a second later, he can't hold back any longer.

"Boobs," he chuckles. "You know, the way I guess Emmett dreams of a keg of beer."

"Pshh…" I lightly slap his shoulder, but can't help laughing myself.

Edward responds by kissing my breasts through the cotton of my shirt. Actually, it's his shirt, which I'm wearing with some very short pants.

"Beautiful," he murmurs, opening a few buttons, his lips caressing me. I'm wearing a very pretty, lacy maternity bra underneath, and I can tell the moment that Edward has spotted it, because he makes a small and rather cute, appreciative sound.

"Oh, baby. Can we just stay like this?" His breath is warm.

"Yes," I reply, pressing my nose into his hair. "Yes."

Later, we make love slowly and tenderly, every touch and caress telling of our devotion, whispered endearments and shared breaths, little moans and melting bodies.

I wake when Edward's alarm rings at six in the morning. He swiftly moves away from me to silence it before snuggling up to me again.

"Morning…" He nuzzles my shoulder with his nose.

"Hey," I mutter. I've never been a morning person, and the pregnancy hasn't changed that. I would love to stay in bed with Edward all day.

"When do you have to be there?"

"They're sending over a car at eight," I whine into my pillow.

Today is the day of the photo shoot with _Look! New York_ magazine. I'm equally excited and dreading it. Excited because I've been spending the last two-and-a-half months more or less at home, and to be _out there _will be a gorgeous change. Dreading it because I'm afraid that I'll look gigantic in the pictures, like a house or something.

"Don't worry, love," Edward murmurs softly. "You're beautiful. The photos will be amazing…" He yawns and kisses the nape of my neck. And then he bites softly, oh so softly, and the sensation goes straight to my nipples and from there, lower, tingling between my legs.

"Edward –"

He licks a path from the pulse point on my neck to the rim of my ear while his fingers sneak into my panties and I shudder. He teases me, riling me up until I'm wiggling my ass against his erection.

"Can you… This needs to go…"

He helps me out of my sleep shirt, raining more kisses on my neck and shoulder. Once he's thrown the shirt to the foot of the bed, he dives beneath the covers and pulls off my panties, kissing my belly, my thighs, gently spreading my legs.

"Oh," I sigh when I feel his lips. "_Ohh_…"

It's wet and tender, making me shudder instantly. His tongue draws little circles, teasing, torturing, and he sucks and licks until I am writhing, tugging at his hair, moaning wantonly.

His head appears again, a wicked smirk on his lips, his cheeks pink.

"Wha-why did you stop?" I pant.

"Because…" Edward kisses his way up my body, gently turning me on my side and settling behind me. "I want to be inside you…" His breath is hot and wet in my ear as he pulls my thigh on top of his and enters me slowly, and a loud groan leaves my chest. Edward weaves his fingers with mine and begins to move, putting every nerve in my body into a frenzy.

I stare at our hands, his so much bigger than mine, his long fingers, the hair on his wrist, losing myself in the waves of perfection and fulfillment our bodies create. It's like our own art form, like a religious experience, the manifestation of our connection.

"Ah… ahh… yes, yes, yess…" I cry out and tremble for what feels like a really long time, registering when Edward's muffled grunts get more urgent and he makes a few shallow thrusts, gasping for air. I shudder once more, my stomach tightening, which makes me utter a slightly odd "ungh" sound.

"You okay?" Edward is still fighting for breath, lightly massaging my belly.

"Yes," I murmur. "It's just… uncomfortable…" I turn around in his arms and kiss his beautiful, plump lips. "But totally worth it…"

I put my head on his chest and we both calm down, my fingers running up and down his ribcage while Edward kisses my forehead and murmurs inconsequential little things.

I'm almost falling asleep again when the shrill sound of his darn alarm startles us.

"No, no, no," I cry.

"Timed it to ring again after thirty minutes," Edward chuckles. "Come on, baby, let's get up. We both have a job to do."

I don't reply and press my face into his chest.

"I'll make you a smoothie?" Edward coaxes me.

"Strawberry?" I mumble into his warm, salty skin.

"Sure." He kisses my cheek.

=====oOo=====

The photo shoot in Central Park is marvelous. Alistair, the British photographer, is great fun to work with, constantly telling me that I look wonderful, suggesting poses, encouraging and challenging me. His team is very nice, and I am much more relaxed and at ease than I expected to be. It's good to be back in the game.

I feel quite confident, the makeup job that his assistant Nettie did making me look young and pretty. I brought a few of my own dresses, but he also takes pictures of me wearing a fluttery, fairy-like blue gown while I pose on Bow Bridge.

We have lunch around noon, chatting and laughing, and continue to shoot until Alistair is able to catch the afternoon sun. By the end of our assignment, we have exchanged telephone numbers, and I am pretty sure that we'll meet for coffee in the near future.

I take a cab home and climb the stairs, dropping down on our bed, only now noticing how exhausted I am. But it's a good exhaustion, telling me I worked, and hopefully accomplished something. Cedric joins me, plopping down against my belly and placing his paw over his eyes, assuming his sleep position. It's a good idea, I think, and I close my eyes.

When I wake, the room is dim and I feel slightly disoriented and sweaty. Cedric is gone. I sit up and yawn. I feel slightly nauseous and have horrible heartburn. It's often a result when I sleep during the day, as is a certain crankiness. I check the alarm on my bedside table. Almost eight.

Yawning once more, I get up. I'm a bit dizzy. Only when I get to the hallway do I notice the music from downstairs. It's Edward, playing the piano, making me smile immediately. I walk downstairs and stop in the doorway, watching him for a couple of minutes. The tune is light and joyous, a playful, warm melody speaking of love and happy days.

Edward is beautiful as he plays, long fingers moving lithely over the keys, his eyes half-closed. He's in his own bubble, a slight smile on his lips.

I don't want to disrupt him, so I stay where I am until the song changes into a languid, jazzy improvisation and he turns his head, grinning at me, as if he'd been aware of my presence all along.

"Hey," I smile back, crossing the distance between us. "That was beautiful."

He tinkles a little while longer, but stops when I reach him, pulling me to him and resting his face against my belly. For a second, it makes me think of Cedric earlier. I seem to have become this warm, round cuddle thing for my boys.

"I made it up for Lizzie," he murmurs comfortably, and my heart constricts. "How was the shoot?"

"Great. The photographer is a darling, and from what he showed me, we got some nice work done." While I tell Edward about it in detail, I brush my hands through his hair, messing it up with a vengeance. I ask Edward about his day and he only says it was stressful.

It happens unexpectedly, creeping into my skin like a panic attack. My heart beats rapidly and I catch my breath, cold sweat prickling my skin. My vision gets blurry.

"Edward, I –"

He immediately notices something's wrong, pulling me to his lap, worry in his green eyes.

"Hey. What's going on?"

He takes my wrist between his fingers, studying my face.

"I'm… I feel so giddy… My heart is…" I swallow.

I don't know what's going on, whether I'm going to faint, or whether it actually _is_ a panic attack.

"Baby." Edward pulls me up with him and carries me the few steps to the sofa, where he carefully puts me down, kneeling next to me and feeling my temperature. "Did you drink enough water?"

"I… I don't know…"

Edward puts a pillow under my feet, and I hate myself for causing his pained expression.

"Baby, you need to keep hydrated, especially with these temperatures." He kisses my brow and rushes to the kitchen, returning with a bottle of Evian. I take a few large sips. My heart stops galloping in my chest. Edward holds a cool cloth against the nape of my neck and I breathe in deeply.

"I'm better now," I mumble after a minute, a stupid tear escaping the corner of my eye.

"Sure?" Edward still looks so worried, wiping the tear away with the pad of his thumb.

"Yes." I swallow. "I don't know, I was dizzy…"

"I guess it was the heat, and probably standing up all day, right?"

I nod.

"I'll just check your blood pressure, okay?"

"'kay…"

My blood pressure, it turns out, is still a little low, but okay. I finish the bottle of water and Edward renews the cool cloth on my neck. He sits down on the edge of the sofa, holding my hand, stroking my fingers.

"You scared me," he says softly with a small crooked smile. His eyes crinkle at the sides.

"Sorry…"

"Did you eat?"

"Yes, lunch."

"Hungry?" He kisses my nose.

"Mmm-hmm."

"What for?"

I sniffle and kiss his hand.

"I'd like to say, _you_," I whisper. "But right now, pizza would be really great."

**EDWARD**

That was some shock to my system last night. I often tell myself that I worry about Bella too much since she's pregnant, and then, something like this happens, giving fodder to every one of my overprotective tendencies. The mere idea that anything could happen to her or to the baby makes my heart stop. They are my everything.

Bella was okay this morning, looking much better when I left her shortly after seven. I never told her about Victoria's continuing threats and tantrums. Yesterday, she came up to me and asked whether I'd thought about her "suggestion." I merely shook my head in exasperation and excused myself from her presence.

It was later, when I checked a patient's background information that it finally clicked in my head. The patient, a woman in her sixties, was born in Altoona,_ Pennsylvania_.

I remember Demetri telling me that there were two other guys they were considering for the position as head of cardiac surgery. One of them from Pennsylvania.

"_He doesn't deserve this."_

"_I think you know exactly what I want…"_

"_This is so unfair…."_

"_Oh, Edward, you are so blind."_

So I went and coaxed Jen from the front desk into doing something she shouldn't. I've known her for years, and she's the sweetest lady ever, all motherly and caring. She shook her finger at me and called me "a very, very bad boy," but promised she'd try her best to help me.

Ten minutes ago, she paged me, and I'm currently making my way down the hallway.

Jen is waiting for me with raised eyebrows, her round cheeks pinker than usual.

"Did you get it?" I ask, sneaking behind her desk.

"Yes," she says, pretending to scold me. "And you do not want to know what methods I had to use to obtain this. If you weren't such a hopeless charmer, Edward Cullen, I would never have done such a thing!"

She hands me a folder.

"I hope those copies are what you need. And be sure to destroy them when you're through."

I'm sure she enjoys the suspense and secrecy of being a spy.

"Thanks, Jen." I kiss her cheek, and she blushes slightly, which is really cute considering the woman has grandchildren.

I don't open the folder until I'm in my office. I sit down. It's the agenda of a meeting of the Board last July. Pages and pages of number and statistics. And there, on page eleven, is the information I was looking for.

"_For the position of the new head of the cardiac department, three doctors are on the short list: Dr. Edward Cullen, Dr. Benjamin Cheney, both working at Lenox Hill Hospital, and Dr. James Trackwell, from Pennsylvania Hospital."_

I fucking knew it.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews for the last chapter, you guys are the very best!**

**Maybe not everyone will like it, but I wanted Tanya to be happy, and Edward and Bella to see it, and be happy for her. Because that can happen. **


	34. I've Some Unfinished Business With You

**A/N:**

**Huge big thanks to my beta dellaterra. You are the kink to my fluff, and I couldn't do it without you!**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**So here's an early update, to thank all of you who are reading and reviewing. You cannot imagine how MUCH it means to me to have your response!**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 34: **I've Got Some Unfinished Business With You**

**EDWARD**

Okay, I now know that James was a competitor for the position that Ben and I share at the hospital, and that Victoria, in some fucked-up, awkward way seems to be trying to get him into Ben's shoes. I don't know if she's indeed, as I called it, "batshit crazy" or if there is method to her madness. It's a little scary, and I'm not at all sure what to do about it. Tell Ben? Tell Demetri? Call Victoria out on her scheming?

Does James even know what she's trying to do? Did he set her up to do it?

I groan and drop my head on the desk. I brought some work home with me and have been trying to get stuff done for a couple of hours but my thoughts keep turning to Victoria, and I hate that, in a way, I have brought _her_ into our home. I don't want her in my home.

I shut the laptop and leave the room. I haven't told Bella any of this, and I'm not really planning to. She scared the hell out of me the other day when she had an almost-fainting spell. I'm not going to worry her. I know she would hate me for thinking of her this way, but right now, heavily pregnant, she is so fragile to me.

"Hey." Smiling, she looks up from her place on the window seat in the nursery. She's surrounded by onesies and blankets and tiny hats, folding them and placing them in little piles. She also has a small open suitcase in front of her.

"Are you packing your hospital bag?" I cross the room and sit down next to her.

It's a rainy afternoon, the drops pattering rhythmically against the windows. Bella looks all comfy in sweats and a wide blue tank top.

"Do you think we should take diapers?"

"No." I lift her feet and place them in my lap. "They provide them at the hospital." I gently massage her left foot, and Bella sighs. "I guess I should pack my bag then, too."

She looks at me quizzically.

"Pajamas?" I say, raising my eyebrows. "Toothbrush? Camera?"

Bella smiles sweetly, wiggling her toes to goad me to massage the other foot. And I oblige. Bella closes her eyes and hums happily. She has such pretty feet.

"But you only want to take pictures of Lizzie, right? Not of me, grunting and sweating? Or…" Her eyes get even bigger than they already are. "_Down there_?" she whispers in a funny voice.

"Mmm… _Down there_? What is that place?" I coo and bend down to kiss her ankle, which makes Bella giggle.

Her phone rings from the direction of the changing table, and I move to get it, but Bella swings her feet off my lap.

"Darling, I can get my phone. I may be a whale, but I'm still able to move." She kisses my nose and gets up. She's waddling just the tiniest bit.

"You're a _small woman_, not a whale," I call, but she's already opening her phone.

"Oh, hi Laurent... You did? They _did_?" She pauses while she listens to her agent. "Okay… Um, yes, sure. I'll have to check with Edward… Yes…" Her eyes meet mine, and she shrugs, making a gesture with her hand that implies a lot of input from Laurent.

"Yes," she says. "Okay, we'll see you there. Bye!"

She turns to me, a frown on her face.

"What?" I can't help it, I jump up and go to her.

"Okay, first, _Look! New York_ called him. Instead of three pages, there will be seven…"

Bella looks stunned and overwhelmed.

"Wow, that's… _wow_." I wrap my arms around her. "I can't wait to see it!"

"And second, Laurent wants us to attend a fashion show by Vladimir Sloane. I wore some of his clothes for the magazine," she adds when she realizes that I am clueless.

"A fashion show, huh?"

"Don't you want to go?"

"Sure," I kiss her nose. "When is it?"

"Next Friday."

"Does he design maternity fashion?" I pull Bella with me and we sit back down. She nestles into my side, slipping her hand beneath my T-shirt.

"No, not at all. He made some of the jackets I wore, and a couple of the wider dresses. His things are beautiful."

"And you'll make them even more beautiful," I say cheesily, drawing her a bit closer into my side.

"Aww, aren't you cute?" Bella's hand slips lower on my stomach, her fingers spreading into the waistband of my jeans. She nuzzles my neck with her nose, then kisses me lightly. "You smell good," she whispers.

"So do you," I murmur into her hair.

Bella uses her thumb to open the first button of my jeans. Her fingers travel lower, and she flicks open more buttons.

"You're rather straightforward today, Mrs. Cullen." I sigh when she touches me through the cotton of my boxer-briefs.

"Am I?" She squeezes gently and I get harder instantly. "Mmm…" She licks over the rim of my ear. "You like that…"

"I do…" My heartbeat and breath are speeding up as she sneaks her hand into my underwear. "Isabella…"

She knows that tone, and I can feel her grin. "Yes?"

"I'd throw you over my shoulder and drag you to my cave if I could. But I don't have a cave, and I doubt that little Miss Lizzie would appreciate the throwing-over-the-shoulder part. So…" I get up and pull her with me. "I will just have to drag you to our bedroom…"

She doesn't object, and moments later, we're undressing each other on our bed, kissing hotly in between. She feels so good, soft and warm and… _womanly_. Her curves are driving me insane. I open her bra and rain kisses on her collarbone and shoulders and breasts while Bella's hands sneak into my hair.

She shudders pleasantly when I lick a small circle around her nipple, being careful because her breasts are still tender. I open my eyes to enjoy the sight. Round and pale, with blue veins under the transparent skin, and…

I swallow and stare for a moment – long enough for Bella to open her eyes and look at me.

"What's wrong?" She's adorable, her lips swollen from kissing and her cheeks flushed.

"Your breast…" I can't remember being this much in awe, even though I'm a physician. The human body never ceases to amaze me, but this… this makes me lose my breath.

"What?" She sits up, almost bumping her forehead against mine in the process, and inspects her breast. "Oh my God." She stares at me with large, shocked eyes and disappears in the bathroom, muttering, "This is so embarrassing… so embarrassing."

"Bella!" I go after her. "Baby …" I knock at the door. "There's no need to be embarrassed. Please let me in?"

"No," she sobs from inside. "It's gross. Just gross…"

"Come on, love. It's not gross. Nothing happened. It's natural. Your body is preparing to feed our child! Please open the door. Please?"

After a minute, the door opens and Bella timidly looks at me. She has thrown on a T-shirt of mine, and I sure as hell am not going to tell her that there's a small wet spot forming on her chest.

"Hey." I wrap my arms around her, and Bella cries a little into my shoulder while I stroke her back. "Your body is getting ready for our baby. Isn't that wonderful?" I kiss her temple. "I'm seriously jealous that you will be able to feed her, nurture her. Only you have this capability, love."

She sniffles. "Still, it's mortifying… Just imagine you would have been…" Her voice drops and I have to strain my ears to even hear her, "_sucking _on it." She shudders, hiding her face in my chest.

I can't help but smile, because she's just so cute.

"Not that I'm into that kind of thing – " Now,_ I _shudder, "but it wouldn't have killed me, I'm sure." Bella looks up at me, and I kiss her nose.

It's almost too much to take, how _everything_ is changing.

"I thought this would only happen after the birth!" She bites her lip.

"I guess we'll just have to buy more books," I chuckle, glad that her mood has lifted. We stand like that for a few minutes, just enjoying being close to each other. I can feel our daughter kick lightly, and place my palm on the spot.

"I love you," Bella murmurs. "I love you so much, Edward. Sorry I'm such a crybaby…"

"I love you too." I kiss her lips. "I love you crying as much as I love you laughing."

We're silent again, and I wonder what she wants to do now. The mood is definitely no longer sexy, which is okay. We're going to be parents in nine weeks, and our life will change inevitably. Bella's body is preparing, but our minds need to catch up too sometimes.

"I think I'd like to take a bath," Bella says, looking at me with a small smile. "Will you join me?"

"Absolutely."

We relax into the warm water, my legs and arms wrapping around her, my hands splayed across her belly. The bath is scented with lavender oil and I can literally feel the tension leave Bella's body.

"Good?" I whisper.

"Hmm…" She threads our fingers on her stomach and slightly turns her head so she can kiss my chin. "You could actually do me a favor," she murmurs against my skin.

"What would that be?"

"You know how clumsy I am right now. I'm so immobile with that huge belly… Would you shave my legs for me?"

Three minutes later, we're sitting at opposite ends of the tub and Bella' s foot rests on my chest while I take my sweet time lathering up her calf. She smiles as she watches me.

"You like that, huh?"

"Um-hmm…"

I take the razor from her and dip it into the water before I place it on her leg and carefully run it over her skin.

"Okay?"

"Yes, Edward." She still smiles, considering me as I make my next moves, tickling my chest with her big toe.

"Be still, I don't want to cut you."

"Sorry."

"Your legs are so lovely." Pausing, I kiss her ankle, at which Bella giggles happily. "So are your feet." I kiss her toe.

"So do you want to paint my toenails too?" She bites her pointer finger to stop herself from laughing out loud, but I'm sure she has no idea how sexy that looks.

"Why not," I mumble thickly.

Thirty minutes later, we're on the sofa and I am painting Bella's toenails. We order in and watch _Dirty Dancing_. The night ends with us making slow, languid love, clinging to one another as we come, whispering, kissing, and falling asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning, a Sunday, I meet up with Emmett for a run in Central Park. We used to do this regularly a few years ago, but then I met Bella and he and Rose had Anna and our biweekly jog wasn't on the list of priorities any longer.

It's good to meet him, because Emmett is exactly what I need right now after my girly day with my very sweet wife. He punches me whenever I slow down, and entertains me with his typical crude jokes. He also asks about Bella and the baby, and we get to talk about how Rose's pregnancies affected their relationship. I stop him before he tells me stuff I really don't need to know about my big sister.

We part with a hug and Emmett says something like, "See you next weekend, then."

"Next weekend?"

"Um, yeah? Your parents' forty-fifth wedding anniversary?"

"Oh, fuck, I almost forgot. Sure. Yeah, see you then. Give my love to Rose and the kids."

"Edward?" His clear blue eyes look puzzled. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I mutter. "Pregnancy brain, you know?"

Emmett guffaws and slaps my back.

_How could I forget about that?_

**BELLA**

It's Thursday, which means that I'm meeting Lucy from the prenatal class for our pregnancy swim group. On one level, I cannot wait for the baby to be born, because everything seems to be about her, and I hardly exist as a person. And then, I'm so scared how it will be once she's with us. Edward and I will never be the same again.

I'm afraid.

I'm really afraid.

I have been reducing my antidepressants to the very minimum, and every test that could be done has told us that I'm okay, and that the baby is okay. Most importantly, I_ feel _okay. Everyone tells me that mood swings are to be expected, so I guess I'm normal.

All I want is to have my baby, and have her healthy and happy. I can't wait. She's moving all the time, reacting to my voice, and to Edward's too. Whenever he talks to her, face near my belly, she either stops or starts moving. I imagine her listening to her daddy as she swims around in my womb. Well, hardly swimming around anymore. It's getting tight in there.

Swimming is what I am doing right now, chatting in between with Lucy.

"Do you think we'll need one of those Diaper Genie things?"

"We got one," I say. "But who knows if you _need_ one?"

"Adam keeps bringing stuff into the house. And his mother is knitting as if the baby's going to be born in December."

We both laugh. It's good to have a friend who's in the same situation. Angela and Rose are my only female friends with babies, but they have little time to meet with me, having their kids and their careers.

Lucy and I stop by our favorite pastry shop and share a piece of pecan pie before we part ways. Edward is working late and Seth and I made plans to have dinner at his place. We see far too little of each other.

He greets me with a big hug and a smacking kiss on my cheek.

"The pizza dough is waiting," he smiles as we walk into the kitchen. "You just have to choose your toppings!"

While we work on our dinner, Seth tells me about his latest jobs, making me laugh as he describes a photo shoot at the zoo with members of a small jazz band. It rained and all the animals were inside. In the end, they took photos in the aquarium.

"Is Collin still in Berlin?"

"Yeah." Seth nods sadly. "The tour's going to last another six weeks."

"Oh, shit." I lean my head against his shoulder.

"It's okay," he says. "You know how much I work. We email. We skype. Have phone sex…" He grins.

"Phone sex is fun," I chuckle, chewing on a piece of bell pepper. "Not that Edward and I have been doing that lately."

"Well, why would you? You're in the same city, the same apartment."

"Yeah. It's good." I steal a slice of zucchini.

Thirty minutes later, we sit down to have our dinner. It's great to spend time with Seth, and we laugh about almost anything. The pizza is fantastic and I eat two large slices. When we're finished, Seth and I sit on the terrace. After three days of rain, the weather has improved, but it's not as hot as before.

"Are you nervous yet?" Seth asks.

"Mmm." I press my lips together, unsure whether to tell Seth how nervous I really am.

"Mmm?" he repeats.

"Terribly." I let out a huge breath. "I'm afraid I'll fuck up as a mother. With the poor example I had myself…"

"Hey, you also have my mom as an example." Seth grabs my hand. "You'll be great, Bells. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know."

"Thanks, Sethy." I squeeze his fingers. "But, you know, I'm also freaking afraid of the birth."

Seth's expression changes, now looking painful. "I imagine that," he says. "Aren't you going to have an epidural?"

"I don't know yet. There are pros and cons."

"What does Edward say?"

"Wait for the moment to come. Maybe it won't be that bad."

_Right, who am I kidding? I'm going to press a watermelon out of my vagina. Well, a cantaloupe, hopefully. Jesus._

My phone beeps with an incoming message.

_**Hello my lovely love. Bad news – I won't be able to go to the fashion show with you tomorrow night. I know, I hate it too, but I can't help it since we'll be away all weekend. Sorry. I love you so much. E**_

"Oh, fuck it," I sigh as I close my cell.

"What is it?"

"Edward won't make it to the fashion show I told you about. He has to work, and can't get out of it because we're going to be away all weekend."

"Oh, no." Seth looks sympathetic. "Um, would you like me to come?"

"You would?"

"Of course!"

And so it happens that the next day, Seth is my date for Vladimir Sloane's fashion show. He looks amazing when he collects me in a cab, dressed in a grey Gucci suit. The show is lovely, with tall, thin models floating over the catwalk in chiffon and silk. The audience consists of rich, thin society ladies who slipped the show in between their Botox appointment and a cocktail party.

Thin waitresses in tiny dresses hand out champagne after the show and we mingle. Well, Seth slips my arm through his and we walk around, greeting dozens of people I have only seen in magazines, and a few I actually know.

"Isabella Swan!"

Oh, God. It's Vladimir Sloane himself. He's as tall as Seth, with sleek brown hair and grey eyes. Small, black pupils. An ice-blue suit, and very black lashes.

"So good to meet you in person! I loved the pictures Alistair took of you!" He kisses the air next to my cheeks. His accent is very British. Alistair, the photographer, seems to be his boyfriend. Or something.

"Hello," I smile, feeling slightly overwhelmed. I introduce him to Seth and we chat about fashion and photography. Vladimir seems nice, if slightly blasé.

"What would you think about doing another photo shoot? When you're not so pregnant anymore?"

He clearly isn't one to ask about the pregnancy and such. I guess in his world, it's just a nuisance.

"Are you serious?" I stare at him. From the corner of my eye, I can see this blond model whose name escapes me. She's on the TV all the time, advertising some lipstick. It feels surreal.

"Sure. As I said, I adored your photos." He air kisses first me and then Seth. "Got to mingle, but we'll keep in contact!"

Seth giggles and takes a sip of champagne.

"You're a _model_!" He kisses my cheek. "Alice will freak out!"

"You're freaking out," I chuckle. "This is crazy. Ouch." A sudden kick from Lizzie startles me.

"Are you okay?" Seth asks worriedly.

"Yeah, but would you mind terribly if we went home soon?"

Edward isn't there when I get back. He sent me a message earlier, saying he'd been held up and wouldn't make it until midnight. I feel hot and uncomfortable, and after I've taken a shower, I climb into bed. Cedric curls up next to me.

I should be happy about the offer, and about the baby and everything, but I'm not. I feel sad, and lonely, and frightened.

**EDWARD**

I have a four-hour surgery behind me, and I want nothing more than to get back home to my wife and daughter. Just when I'm ready to leave, shutting down my computer, yawning while I do, there's a knock on the door.

"Come in."

_Not again._

_I'm so tired of her bullshit._

"Hello, Edward," Victoria smiles. "Long day?"

"You can say that again. I was just leaving."

"You know," she says, closing the door behind her and walking up to me, "I have been thinking." She sits on my desk.

"If you're here to spread rumors about Ben again, I'll let you know that –"

"A proposition," she interrupts me. "An idea. Since you clearly are not going to do me the favor I asked of you."

I rake a hand through my hair.

"You call that a _favor_? Telling a lie about my partner and friend?"

"You'd get someone much more capable in exchange…" She smiles again, and it reminds me of a shark.

"Like your husband?"

I don't care if this was a clever move, but I'm tired, and I'm tired of her games. I don't care if she knows that I know.

"I know that he was a contender for the job, Victoria. I'm sorry –" I rub my eyes. "I'm sorry you're disappointed, but he has a very good position at Mount Sinai, doesn't he? So what do you want? Even if Ben left, that wouldn't mean that James would get his job."

Victoria is silent for a few moments, her expression unreadable.

"What do you want?" I say tiredly.

"That you recommend James for the job."

"I'm not going to get rid of Ben. What even made you think of this idiotic plan?"

"Just imagine, Edward," she says, cold eyes fixating me as she crosses her legs. I'm still not over the fact that she sat down on my desk a few seconds ago as if it were hers. "If I touched you now, and someone came in… that wouldn't look very good to your pretty little wife, would it?"

I stare at her.

"Just imagine, Edward," she repeats. "If I told people that _you_ touched _me_. And that I didn't want you to. That would look very, very bad. To your wifey, and to the rest of the world. And how would you prove me wrong?"

"What… why… What have I, or my wife, ever done to you? Why are you so mean?"

"You have _everything_. Success, money. And a baby. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to hear your endless gloating about your wife and her pregnancy? How much you're looking forward to –"

"_What_? What is this even about?"

My eyes are burning, my head is reeling.

"Just that. You have it all."

"Is this about money?"

She slowly shakes her head, laughing bitterly.

"I'm going to do it, Edward. _Sexual harassment_. Admittedly, it's not going to be easy, but then it wouldn't be the first time you'd be fucking a co-worker right?"

I'm just so shocked and disbelieving that I'm sitting there with my mouth open.

"Does the name Lauren Mallory ring any bells?" she asks sweetly.

I swallow.

"What does Lauren have to do with any of this?"

"I think you know that," Victoria tells me, still sickeningly sweet. "You were rather… _close _to her at one time, weren't you?"

_Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why do mistakes you made always return to bite you in the ass?_

"That's ridiculous," I shout, lowering my voice immediately. "That was _years_ ago…"

"Yeah, seems she's still not over you. She works at Mount Sinai now, and I met her at a party. What an interesting conversation that was."

"So you're telling me that you're going to blackmail me? Accuse me of sexual harassment if I don't lie about Ben? That's just crazy, Victoria." I get out of my chair. I need some distance between us. I walk to the window and stare out into the city lights.

"Think about it Edward. It's your choice."

"No one's going to believe you." I turn around.

Victoria has stood up as well, eyeing me coldly, her hand on the doorknob.

"They will. If I have bruises to show for. And another woman who worked with you to add to my testimony."

The door closes softly behind her.

I just make it to the bathroom, where I lose what I had for dinner six hours ago.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Dear, dear readers, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support. I promise this will be angsty for a very short time only. I want Edward and Bella to be happy with their little Lizzie just as much as you do.**

**I always love to hear your opinion, so please leave me a review?**

**Have a wonderful weekend!**

**Your harperpitt**


	35. A Man Must His Honor Defend

**A/N:**

**Dear, dear readers,**

**Thank you so much for the overwhelming response for the last chapter. **

**I was certainly happy to see a number of new reviewers! Thank you so much!**

**Thanks to MDtwiwriter for the help and suggestions!**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**And I am proud to call the wonderful dellaterra my beta. Here's to bizarre ice cream flavors.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 35: **A Man Must His Honor Defend**

I wake to the feather-light touch of Edward's fingertips caressing my stomach, moving tenderly, reverently. He adores my round body, he says, because it holds our baby. His index finger draws a slow circle on my hipbone – well, where I suppose my hipbone must be.

"Hey," I murmur sleepily.

"Hey…" He kisses the back of my neck.

"How long've you been awake?"

"Ten minutes maybe." He runs his finger around my protruding bellybutton, then rests his palm beneath it. "Your skin is so soft," he whispers.

His hand is large and warm, cradling our baby. His breath is warm too, as it catches in my hair. I know I'm smiling goofily. We're silent, and it's perfect. I run my toes up and down Edward's leg and his fingers take up their travels again, touching my belly, my waist, my thigh.

I don't even know when the tune changes, and my breathing gets labored and my heart begins to beat faster. I need to swallow as Edward's fingers move down the curve of my bump and delve into the small triangle of hair between my thighs. Slowly. Smoothly.

I open my legs, inviting him in, and he explores and touches, rubs and tantalizes. I moan happily, feeling his erection poke my thigh. He enters me with one finger and, hearing my wanton sighs, adds a second one, steadily pumping in and out.

"Edward… Oh…" I turn my head so I can capture his lips and we kiss wetly and sloppily. He never stops his movements though, and when he starts applying pressure to the most sensitive spot, I'm writhing, my whole body tingling.

He withdraws his fingers and we move in a practiced routine. My fingers dig into the pillow when he enters me.

It's the best feeling in the world. Like we were made for each other.

His hand sneaks under my sleepshirt and covers my breast, his groans and whispers hot in my ear. The pressure in my lower belly is already getting stronger, and Edward senses this, speeding up.

A low, guttural moan leaves my throat right before I come, my whole body shaking as I float away on a never-ending series of exquisite sensations.

"Ungh… Ah…" Edward's sounds are muffled by my hair as he finishes, trembling and clinging to me as his body stiffens and finally relaxes.

I can feel a slow smile spreading across my face, and I guess I look like the cat that ate the canary. Totally satisfied.

"Phew," Edward sighs as he cuddles up to my back. He kisses my shoulder. "You're one sexy lady, do you know that?"

I giggle happily, entwining our fingers. I close my eyes for a minute, and just enjoy the feel of him. His scruffy chin on my back, his long limbs, his even breathing. We're perfect.

I turn around in Edward's arms and snuggle into his embrace, resting my head in its favorite spot under his chin. My bump is between us, and Edward kisses my forehead.

"I love you."

I don't think I've ever been this close to any human being. If it were possible to be _one_, right now, we would be.

"I love you," I reply, inhaling his scent while his chest hair tickles my nose.

We're breathing, basking in each other's warmth.

"I don't want to get up," Edward murmurs. "I want to stay in bed with you until Monday…"

"That'd be fabulous," I murmur, raining little kisses on his chest. "But your mother would be very sad if we don't show up. Your dad, too."

Edward sighs heavily.

"It'll be nice…" I prop myself up on my elbow to look at him.

His brows are furrowed, and I smooth them with my finger.

"What's the matter? Are you okay?"

Edward's lips are pouty as he nods.

"Sure. I guess I'm just not looking forward to meeting Carlisle."

"Come on." I put a smacking kiss on his chest. "We'll have fun."

"Hmm," he growls, not convinced.

We leave two hours later, the radio playing soft music on the drive. Edward is rather quiet, but he's been having a tough time at work for the last week or so. I reach over and caress his clean-shaven cheek. He leans into it, smiling sweetly and sighing.

"You're exhausted," I say.

"Only a bit." He looks at me before he redirects his eyes to the street. There are shadows under his eyes.

Esme hugs both of us close the second we leave the car, her exuberance spilling over.

"So good to have you here, my darlings. Bella, you look amazing!"

"Like I'm ready to pop, right?"

Esme shakes her head and kisses my cheek. "Come, everyone's already in the garden. Aro and Didy are here too."

Edward grabs my hand, and I can hear him sighing softly. I give his fingers a little squeeze and he replies with a lopsided smile, shrugging his shoulder as if to say, _You know what they can be like._

After we've said hello and hugged every single member of our family, a lavish lunch is served. Actually, the atmosphere is quiet and relaxed – Emmett is cracking jokes, Alice talks about her collection, and Aro chats with Esme. I can tell that Edward is a bit tense, but I don't know if it's his worry that something might happen with Carlisle, or if he's really just tired from work. He had a strange look when he returned last night, but I attributed it to a long week at the hospital.

He smiles at me now and then, cute wrinkles at the corners of his eyes.

"You likey?" he asks over dessert, a delicious cheesecake with strawberries. He kisses my cheek.

"Mmm," I reply with a full mouth. "Delishush."

"I'd like to make a toast," Carlisle announces, raising his glass, "to my beautiful wife. Thank you, my love, for the last forty-five years. You've made me happy every single day."

Esme wipes a way a tear and they kiss. It's really sweet, and we all applaud.

**EDWARD**

Mmm, I love my wife's legs. Right now, they're resting across my lap as we're lounging in the swing seat in my parents' garden.

Everyone is taking it easy after lunch, and not even Alice dared to complain when Bella and I found our somewhat secluded spot. Al, the black cat, followed us and made himself comfortable with us, purring like a tiny lawnmower.

I pass my fingertip over Bella's smooth thigh. So soft. Her head is on my shoulder and she has her eyes closed.

"Tired?"

"A bit. Was a lot of food," she smiles. She opens her eyes. "You seem preoccupied. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." I watch Emmett as he swings Anna around in the air. She shrieks happily.

I haven't told anyone of Victoria's attempt at blackmailing me. I wanted to tell Ben, but only saw him in passing yesterday. I really don't know what to do. Tell Demetri, I suppose.

Would he believe her?

I can't imagine that he would. He's known me for years. He knows Bella, and he knows that I adore her. Even the thought of this whole situation makes my stomach hurt.

Still, what if he does believe her?

It's a fucked up situation.

"What's going on?" Bella's whisper draws me out of my thoughts. Her breath is warm on my neck.

"Nothing… Just… work."

"Oh, baby." She kisses my ear. "You should relax a bit."

"I guess. Hey, look who's here!"

It's Anna, walking toward us on short legs.

"Edda! Edda!"

"Hey, little miss."

Bella moves her thighs from my lap and I help Anna climb into the swing between us. She's the cutest little button, her blonde curls exactly the same color as Rose's hair. She leans into Bella's side, making my heart melt when she puts her pudgy little hand on Bella's round stomach.

"Be careful, sweetheart," Rose, who has joined us, says softly.

"Baby," Anna says.

"Yes, honey," she confirms. "That's Uncle Edward's and Auntie Bella's baby. She'll be with us soon."

"'morrow?"

"No, darling," Bella smiles. "In seven weeks." She holds up seven fingers. "seven weeks, and we'll have our little girl."

Anna touches her stomach once again. "Baby girly?" she grins.

"Uh-huh. A little baby girly." Bella smiles widely, looking so beautiful and content that it tugs at my heart – and the thought of Victoria comes immediately back to my mind, and to my stomach.

I cringe.

_How dangerous is she really?_

An hour later, Bella and Rose are still on the garden swing, a sleeping Anna between them, talking animatedly about pregnancy and babies. I got out of it when the conversation turned a little gory, telling me things I _really_ don't want to hear from my sister.

"Hey, boysie." Aro puts an arm around my shoulder. "How're you doing?"

For some reason, his proximity makes me feel better, less helpless. Aro always had a solution for everything. Maybe he does now.

"Hey," I reply. "Listen, do you…" I clear my throat. "Do you have a minute?"

Aro's expression gets more earnest as he sees my face. "Sure."

Moments later, we're in the library, Aro sitting in Carlisle's armchair and me in the loveseat. I pour out the whole story, and Aro listens quietly. It's so good to be able to open up about it all, from the little insinuations with which Victoria started, to the final threat.

"I just don't know what to do now," I say. "Should I talk to Demetri? What if he believes her? What if Bella hears about this shit? I don't want to burden her with it…"

When my ramblings have ended, Aro is silent for a while.

I'm getting fidgety when he stays silent.

Finally, he exhales a huge breath.

"Wow, that's bit fucked up, boysie."

His clear blue eyes look straight into me. Aro knows me so well. No one but Bella or my mom knows me so well.

"So? Any idea?"

"Do you really believe your boss would give any credence to that skank's lies?"

"I don't know," I shrug helplessly. "Well," I add, having thought about it with as much of a detached mind as I can muster. "I can't imagine it. He knows me."

Aro nods thoughtfully. "But still, you're worried that he might?"

"Yes." I scratch my neck. "And if Bella hears about it, she'll freak out, and I can't have that. We had that scare earlier on, and only recently, she had this fainting spell… I'd die if anything happened to her or the baby…" I swallow.

"What if you don't talk to your boss?" Aro questions. "Don't you think that's a much greater risk? If she goes on with her plan?"

"Fuck." I drop my face in my hands. "This is so fucked up. I mean, she must be crazy, don't you think, to make up such a plan in the first place. As if it's certain that her husband would get Ben's job if he quit."

"Do you think her husband – what was his name again, Tradewell? – is behind this?"

"No idea. I don't really know him, only met him a few times. I had the impression that he's a stoner."

Aro chuckles. "There were times when you wouldn't refuse a nice joint yourself, boysie."

"One summer!" I groan, but can't help my smile. "One summer, with Miss Magdalena Greene from Chicago, Illinois. And I was nineteen."

"And I caught you smoking weed," Aro laughs, "on the beach at Long Island, serenading her."

By now, we're both laughing out loud, and it feels good to let go. Such a relief.

"So you think I should tell him?" I say a few moments after our laughter has subsided.

"Yeah. Before she can wreak more havoc. Think of Bella. You want to have that out of the way. When's her due date?"

"September sixteenth," I say proudly.

I sometimes wonder if this is a male thing, this pride at having made her pregnant. I guess it is.

"It's good to see you so happy, Edward," Aro says, considering me. "I'm glad you found her."

"And I'm glad you found Didy," I reply.

"Yeah," my uncle says dreamily. "She's something else." And then he clears his fogged-over expression and stands up. "C'mon, we should get back outside."

I get up as well, but before we leave the room, I give Uncle Aro a hug.

"Thanks. And… please don't tell anyone. I don't want them to worry."

The door opens, and it's my father, looking surprised when he sees us hugging.

"I was looking for you," he says. "Your mom wants to cut the cake."

"Oh, okay," I say, wondering. Is he pissed? That we talked without him? In his library? But he knows that Aro and I are close, and always have been.

His eyes, the same blue as Aro's but somewhat sharper, and less mirthful, follow me as I make my way to the door, and I feel strangely guilty.

The rest of the afternoon passes quietly and I'm almost glad when we leave after my mother has laden us with several Tupperware containers stuffed with food.

Bella falls asleep on our way home, and I have to gently wake her. She's muddled and sleepy, looking at me with wide, dark eyes.

"We're home." I kiss her nose.

"Huh… I dreamt such nonsense. There was a witch, like the one from _The Wizard of Oz_, and she was riding around on her broom…"

"Was Toto there?" I murmur against Bella's soft cheek, and feel her smile.

"No."

"Let's get upstairs?"

"Yes."

Later, when we are in bed, Bella sighs, moving around uncomfortably.

"I'm so hot…"

"Oh, baby." I kiss her shoulder. "I'll get you a cold compress."

"Oh, yes," she exhales.

She relaxes a little once I've placed the cold cloth on the back of her neck. We're lying side by side, and I can feel our daughter move against my stomach. Bella grumbles.

"She's going to be a boxing champion."

"Or a wrestler," I murmur.

"Or a circus artist…" Bella yawns.

"She'll be as beautiful as her mom," I whisper, reaching over her and massaging her back.

"Mmm…"

"Sweet dreams, my love…"

=====oOo=====

I don't want to go to work.

I know that I'll have to talk to Demetri, and that's not a conversation I'm looking forward to. When I ask him if he has a moment, he says yes immediately, telling me to come to his office after lunch. The morning passes swiftly, but I can't get rid of the underlying tension at the prospect of telling my boss about my seemingly crazy colleague.

"Edward," Demetri smiles when I enter his office shortly after one. He gestures for me to sit down. His office is much bigger than mine, with a group of seats and a coffee table by the large windows. The sun is very bright today. It's almost August, and the city is sweating. I hope Bella is taking it easy.

"Great job you did with Mr. Schuster."

"Thanks."

"So, Edward, what can I do for you?" He folds his fingers and rests his chin on them, watching me from dark, intelligent eyes.

"It's a bit… difficult," I begin. I scratch my chin. "There is a situation… No, not a situation, but a problem, between a co-worker and me."

Demetri stays silent, waiting for me to go on.

"This… person… has been making insinuations for quite some time, and now it seems that..." I let put a frustrated breath. "Wow, this is really hard. I don't want to seem as if I'm badmouthing someone. I've been thinking about this a lot, believe me…"

"What is it, Edward?" Demetri is frowning now.

"Victoria Trackwell," I say.

Demetri looks at me as if somehow the fact that there's a problem with her doesn't surprise him.

"Tell me."

"She… she threatened to accuse me of sexually harassing her."

"What?" Demetri's frown deepens. "Why would she do such a thing?"

"Remember last year, before you offered the job to me? There was this doctor from Pennsylvania who applied for the position as well. Dr. Trackwell. Her husband. She has developed this idea that he should have received the job, and she now wants me to…" I sigh, feeling horrible about telling Demetri all of this. "She wants me to somehow have Ben kicked out of his job, because she thinks that her husband would be next in line, or something like that."

"And she is trying to blackmail you?"

"Yeah. I guess so. I mean, I'm not sure that she would, but, yes, that's what she said. I don't know what to do about it."

"It's not true, Edward, is it?"

"No!" I almost shout. "No, of course not."

"I'm sorry. I had to ask."

"Yeah, the problem is," I bite my lip. "This is embarrassing. She told me she'd have another woman confirm her story. Dr. Mallory, who quit last summer."

"Dr. Mallory?" Demetri repeats incredulously. "How does she figure into that mess?"

"I had a one-night stand with her."

"Edward!"

I've never seen Demetri so shocked, and I suddenly realize what he must think.

"About four years ago," I add quickly. "Tanya and I had separated, and I was… very unhappy. It was a one-time thing, but she wanted more, and it appears that she still bears a grudge."

"Wow." Demetri shakes his head. "Suddenly I'm not so unhappy not to have your looks."

I smile wanly.

"Seriously, Edward, I'm glad you came to me. Does Bella know any of this? She seemed so happy when I saw her the other day. She told me she was collecting you for the birthing class."

"No, she doesn't know. I mean, she's thirty-four weeks pregnant. I don't want to burden her with this sh- stuff."

"I see." Demetri pauses, thinking. "Well, what do you want me to do?"

"I don't really know. I guess there isn't much you _can _do. I just wanted you to be aware of the situation."

"I can't fire her for something that hasn't happened. I can talk to her. Tell her she's walking on thin ice. Something like that. Make her understand I trust you. You're my best man, Edward."

"Thank you."

I feel slightly relieved that the worst part of the conversation is over.

"I'll talk to her," Demetri says. "And I'll see to it that you don't have to work with her in the near future, okay?"

"That would be really, really good."

We talk for a few more minutes until his secretary comes in and tells him that his one-thirty appointment is there.

"Don't worry, Edward," he tells me as we part. "We'll find a way."

**BELLA**

I'm just returning from my twenty-fifth trip to the bathroom when I hear the front door, and my heart lurches. It's only shortly after six, and I never expected Edward to be home this early.

"Hey, baby," he calls from the hall. "I'm home. And I brought ice cream!"

"Mmm…" I peek around the corner. "That sounds good!"

Edward's face lights up with a smile and he walks to me, greeting me with a gentle kiss.

"Hi," he murmurs against my lips and pulls me close – well, as close as possible with my baby belly between us.

"Hi…"

For the first time today, I feel myself relax. It's been a shitty day, which I spent stranded on the sofa, watching bad daytime television and munching popcorn and apples, trying to shoo off Cedric, who wanted to cuddle up to me, his warm fur sticking to my sweaty legs. Despite central air conditioning, I feel hot all the time, and lethargic too. I hate myself for acting this way. I'm just pregnant, for God's sake, but the huge belly makes me so immobile, and most of the time, some part of my body hurts. Katie says that everything is fine with the baby, and that I should go easy on myself, and that every woman experiences pregnancy in a different way. The most important thing is that we're okay.

I agree with her line of thinking, and, needless to say, so does Edward, but still. I should be _doing_ something, something useful, instead of lying on the sofa like a fat blob, stuffing my face and ogling Ashton Kutcher's ass in _That Seventies Show_.

"How was your day?" Edward's breath tickles my ear.

"I cleaned out the kitchen cabinets while Miss Kaure was here," I say. "And I sorted through all my stuff in the bathroom and threw away a ton of old lipsticks and stuff. Nothing really interesting." I kiss his chin. "Ice cream, please!"

He chuckles and we walk to the kitchen. Edward yawns and pours himself a glass of white wine before he joins me at the table, lifting my feet into his lap as he sits down. He massages them lightly. He looks tired.

"So how was your day?" I ask, feeding him a bite of raspberry-and-meringue ice cream.

"Okay," he shrugs. "Nothing out of the ordinary." He caresses my calf. "Frankly, I just want to cook dinner and have a quiet evening with my two girls."

"'kay," I shrug.

I can tell we're both not in the best of moods, which is unusual. Normally, if one of us feels low, the other pulls them up and vice versa.

We agree on making a stir-fry. Edward brings me vegetables to chop while he takes care of the chicken and the rice. When we eat, it's in companionable silence. I guess we're just both tired. Edward offers to do the cleaning up.

"You don't have to, darling, I can."

Edward kisses my forehead. "Please, let me. Why don't you go and choose us a movie to watch?"

It's silly, I know, but I feel as if he told me I'm not capable of filling the dishwasher. I nod my head and leave the kitchen.

I sink back to my place on the sofa. Cedric hops up next to me, purring happily.

I switch on the TV.

_Ding, ding, ding, jackpot! _

"_What Happens in Vegas_?" Edward asks when he joins me a few minutes later, putting his arms around me as he sits behind me.

"It's funny," I shrug.

"We've seen this movie, love."

"I know."

"And now we're seeing it again?"

"It's funny," I insist.

Edward sighs, but so softly I'm certain I wasn't meant to hear. I turn around and face him.

"What do you want to watch?"

"It's okay," he says, wrapping a strand of my hair around his finger. "Really."

"No, we can put on a DVD," I insist. "What do you want?" I scramble out of his arms and get up, walking over to the DVD shelf.

Even though Edward and I have a common taste in films, there's my Laurence Olivier addiction, and his love for Stanley Kubrick. I pull out a random movie from his "favorites" shelf.

Edward's eyebrow lifts.

"_A Clockwork Orange_, Bella?"

_Ugh. We watched it a couple of years ago. Suffice to say it wasn't my cup of tea. _

Grumbling, I put the DVD back and pull out another one.

_Shit._

"_Rosemary's Baby_?" Edward's voice jumps an octave. "No way are we watching that film, Bella. Can't we just go back to Ashton and Cameron?"

I've been irritable all day. I know it's not right to take it out on Edward. But he is driving me mad right now.

"Then you choose something!"

"I just did. Let's watch the movie you started."

"But you don't want that. Because it's a chick flick."

_Gah, I hate this. Hormones seem to be taking over._

"We can watch – " I pull out another random DVD. "_Fight Club_!"

"Baby," Edward says softly, stretching out his hand for me. "Come back here? Let's just watch your chick flick?"

But I'm pissed.

I want to have it out. Maybe I want a fight, even. Not like in the movie, of course.

"You just said you didn't want to watch it."

"I didn't," Edward shrugs. "I didn't jump up and down like my sister, but I…" He sighs, running a hand through his hair. It's already messy, and he makes it even more so. "Baby, what's the matter? I'm sorry… I'm so tired… I don't want to fight with you."

"I'm tired, too."

We stare at each other.

I try to stifle my tears, hating myself for being a moody bitch.

"Bella?"

Edward gets up and crosses the room, standing in front of me. He takes my hands in his. They are large and warm. His eyes are tender.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, a tear running down my cheek. "I… I guess my moods are swinging like a mighty fine Benny Goodman tune…"

Edward laughs softly. He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles.

"You know what we should do?"

"Hmm?"

I look up at him through damp lashes.

"Watch _Spartacus."_

I have to giggle, because this is not the first time he has suggested this. It's the perfect combination: a film with Laurence Olivier, directed by Stanley Kubrick. Edward knows how much I love that one scene, where Olivier is half-naked and wet…

Fifteen minutes later, we're snuggled up on the couch, watching the movie, whispering and smiling in between.

But for some reason, I can feel that Edward is still tense, and it worries me.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Please leave a review, I need your support more than ever! You make me so happy with every comment.

xoxo

harperpitt


	36. Use Your Imagination

**A/N:**

**Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the reviews. You made me very happy!**

**Thank you, dellaterra, for beta'ing. You're brilliant.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 36: **Use Your Imagination**

**EDWARD**

I feel horrible. I slept like shit, waking from Bella's tossing and turning a few times, my own bad dreams torturing me whenever I managed to drift off.

The situation at work is still unclear. I haven't seen Victoria ever since her threat ten days ago. Demetri implied in an email yesterday that he had spoken to her, but didn't go into any details. I feel like I'm on tenterhooks, waiting for something to happen, because I'm certain that Victoria is not going to leave it at that.

So I'm constantly on edge.

I haven't told Bella anything about the things Victoria said. I'm not going to worry her about this. She has been a little low over the past few days, but when I asked her about it, she said she was merely exhausted from the heat and sleep deprivation. It's hard to find a comfortable position in bed with her big belly, and Lizzie tends to keep her awake with her kicking.

I call her while I'm having lunch in the cafeteria. She's in the park with Angela and her boys, and I can hear them laughing in the background.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," she replies. "We're having a little picnic in Central Park by the Lake," she says. "And my cupcakes are a great success."

"Mmm. I love your cupcakes," I say softly, teasingly.

"Don't you have to work, Dr. Cullen?" she teases back.

"Lunch break," I explain. "Can't wait to have you here with me."

Tonight will be our last prenatal class. I can't believe how the time flew by.

"No, Conner," I hear Angela say. "This is not for your feet."

"Okay then," I murmur, "I'll see you at six?"

"Of course, darling."

"I love you both. Take care."

"I love you too."

I still have a goofy smile on my face when I return my tray. I didn't finish my sandwich, but I'm taking a red apple with me.

The afternoon is filled with boring paperwork until my pager goes off and I hurry to the ER. A woman who's twenty-nine weeks pregnant has been admitted with myocardial inflammation. She's freaking out because she's so afraid for her baby, and I have a hard time calming her. While we run some tests, Victoria enters the room, her face unreadable. She greets me curtly, and all I do is merely nod at her.

"Dr. Trackwell."

I fill her in about the patient and we discuss possible therapies. Luckily, the husband arrives and manages to relax our panicked patient. There will be more tests, and she will have to stay for a couple of days until we've figured out a way to treat her condition without harming the baby.

Victoria follows me when I go to wash my hands. She shuts the door behind her, and we are alone, but the room has a large window separating it from the exam room, where two nurses are working.

"So you ran to daddy and snitched on me." She has one hand on her hip, staring at me with icy eyes.

"What did you expect me to do? Wait for you to tell your fabrications? Wait for you to try and ruin my career? This is not a _game,_ Victoria."

"Indeed it's not." She flares her nostrils. "I'll still find a way to get what I want."

For a second, I see right through her, and I feel sorry for her. What she's doing is crazy and ridiculous.

"Does your husband even know any of the shit you're doing to get him into this job? Can't you see how ludicrous all this is?" I run a hand through my hair. "Really, Victoria. Do you think I would ever be alone with you after what you said?"

"Wait and see," she says, eerily composed. "Wait and see."

**BELLA**

We're having dinner with Adam and Lucy at a little bistro after our last prenatal class. They're such a sweet couple, and I'm sure we'll stay in contact.

We laugh and chat and eat, and Edward feeds me bites of his chicken. When we part, Lucy and I agree to meet the next day for our regular pregnancy swim group. I've found that swimming is a nice way to work out. Well, I'm not working out, really, just paddling around. But it's fun, and I love floating weightlessly in the water.

It's uncomfortably sultry tonight, and I'm glad when, fifteen minutes later, Edward and I are home.

"Sorry, love." He kisses my brow. "I still have some work to go through. Will you be okay?"

"Of course." Standing on my toes, I give him a peck on his lips.

He often brings work back home with him so he can be near me. I'm sure it's unnecessary since I'm still almost six weeks from my due date, but I'm certainly not complaining.

I make myself comfortable on the sofa with Cedric and _Empire_ magazine. An old episode of _My So-Called Life _is showing on the TV, and I look up every now and then, getting drowsy.

I guess I must have dozed off at some point, because the next thing I know is that Edward is waking me with a gentle kiss.

"Hey, baby. You don't want to spend the night here, do you?"

"What's the time?" I slur sleepily.

"Almost eleven. Come upstairs with me?"

"Yes…" I yawn while Edward helps me to my feet.

He switches off the lights behind us and we walk upstairs.

"Did you get everything done?" I mumble, squeezing toothpaste on my brush.

"Almost," he replies, taking off his T-shirt, opening the buttons of his jeans. "I'm going to take a quick shower," he says, stripping off his underwear and stepping in.

_Oh how I love that tight, round ass…_

He's been broody all day, silent and thoughtful. I hope it's nothing.

Edward joins me in bed about ten minutes later. I'm sitting up with a book, stroking my swollen belly. Lizzie moves under my hand and I wonder which part of her body is poking me right now.

Edward slips beneath the covers and puts on his glasses. His hair is still damp and his chest is bare. He takes a book from his nightstand and starts reading. I move closer to him and put a small kiss on his shoulder. He smells fantastic, like soap and Edward.

"Are you okay?" I whisper against his warm skin.

"Hmm?" He turns to look at me. "Yes, sure." He kisses the top of my head and returns to his book.

I lean my head against his upper arm, wanting to feel him closer. I shut my eyes.

The room is silent but for the occasional rustle of paper when Edward turns a page. I'm beginning to feel sleepy again, so I move lower and nestle into my customary space on his chest. His even breathing feels wonderful, as does his smell.

After a moment, he moves slightly and I hear him switch off the light. He moves us until he's spooning me, and wraps his arm around me.

"Goodnight, my love." His warm breath tickles my neck.

"Night…" I sigh.

My sleep is restless and my dreams are disrupted whenever I wake, sweaty and scared. I have to go to the bathroom four times.

Edward doesn't seem to be sleeping very well either, turning around and sighing.

=====oOo=====

Two days later, we're in the waiting room at Katie Marshall's office. I'm worrying about Edward, who has been quiet and subdued for days. Whenever I ask him, he tells me that he's fine, and that work is stressful. He looks as tired as I feel, grey cirles under his eyes.

"Hey." He kisses my cheek. His hand runs over my swollen tummy. I find it hard to believe that I'm supposed to get even larger, since I seem to be close to bursting already. Edward loves it, constantly touching me and talking to our baby. Nothing is cuter than his excitement when she "responds" by knocking slightly from inside me.

I put my hand over his and place a chaste kiss on his lips. He didn't shave this morning, and his light stubble is deliciously scratchy. From the corner of my eye, I see the woman across from us watching. I've grown used to Edward being ogled by women of all ages and sizes. It's what_ I_ did when I saw him for the first time. Well, I actually still do it. I kiss him once again, and then the receptionist calls us in.

I am weighed, measured and examined. Katie confirms what we have been suspecting already: Our baby has not yet turned around into the head-down birthing position, which worries me.

"What if she doesn't make it? She has so little room to move already!"

"There's a number of things you can do to coax her," Katie says. "And if none of that helps, I can try and turn her around from the outside. You still have more than five weeks, Bella."

"What can we do?" Edward asks, taking my hand and drawing soothing circles with his thumb.

"Get her attention and make her follow your lead. You can, for example, play music very low on Bella's stomach, or shine a flashlight there, so that the baby turns around to the sound or light. Rest your hips higher than your feet. Swimming is great. You can also try massaging your belly…"

She explains how we are supposed to do this, and also tells Edward about the acupressure points at the soles of my feet that might make Lizzie flop around. She teaches me a few more exercises I can do, and by the time we leave the office, I feel better.

We try the music and flashlight thing once we're home, and I can feel Lizzie moving a bit. Edward also massages my belly the way Katie told us, but I think that Lizzie sleeps through it. He leaves us after lunch, and I know he won't be back until midnight or later.

"I'll call you, okay?" he murmurs against my lips as he leaves. "And if anything is the matter…"

"… I'll call the receptionist and they'll page you," I finish.

"Yep." I can feel his smile as he touches his forehead against mine. "I love you."

"I love you," I reply.

Another kiss, and I am alone.

I settle on the sofa and read a bit. Cedric joins me, meowing in protest when I don't allow him to sit on my stomach. He probably thinks it's just a small hill. I doze off and only wake when the doorbell rings. Feeling sleepy and slightly cranky, I make my way to the front door.

"Yes?"

"A flower delivery for you, Mrs. Cullen."

_Oh my God, can this man get any sweeter?_

Two minutes later, a single, long-stemmed rose is handed to me. There's no card, no attachment.

Huh. That's odd. I don't think Edward ever gave me a single red rose before. He knows that my favorite flowers are gerbera daisies. He often gives me flowers, but sending a single one?

I put it into a vase and place it on the breakfast table. Cedric weaves in between my legs as I walk to the bathroom, and hollers when I shut him out.

The rest of the day passes quietly. I call Seth, we talk and laugh as usual. After I get the laundry started, I do the exercises Katie showed me.

I have a plate of spaghetti with pesto for dinner while reading _Your Pregnancy: An Amazing Journey._

I iron some clothes. I read. I go to pee. Often. I watch TV.

Around ten-thirty, I retire to bed, where I massage my belly and tell Lizzie to turn. She doesn't. I fall asleep, but it's far from relaxing. I have another nightmare, this time about the birth itself. I'm writhing in pain, but the baby won't come out.

And then, security. Strong arms. I'm whole again.

"Sorry…" he murmurs. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Hmm," I sigh. "Thanks for the rose," I mumble, and sleep overtakes me again.

**EDWARD**

_Rose?_

_What rose? Was she thinking about my sister?_

_Did she say, "Thank Rose?"_

_But for what, and why doesn't she do it herself?_

God, I'm so tired that my brain has stopped working.

I bury my face in my wife's hair and fall asleep. The last thing I notice is a slight movement in her abdomen – our daughter is saying good night.

I'm alone when I wake the next morning, but I can hear the radio downstairs. I brush my teeth and follow the sound of early and angry Alanis Morrissette. Bella is swinging her hips to the rhythm, singing along. Cedric is watching her from the windowsill, looking at her as if she's a crazy person.

I close the distance between us, sneak my arms around her and kiss her neck. Bella squeaks in surprise.

"Morning, love."

"Good morning." She turns her head to kiss me. "Guess what?"

"Hmm?"

"I think Lizzie dropped this morning."

"She did?"

"Yes. Look." She steps away from me and points at her belly. "It's much lower." She moves so I can see her profile. She's right. "She was kicking so hard early this morning, and when I got up, I noticed that I could breathe much easier, and that the pressure had somehow moved lower. I mean, it's uncomfortable, but I'm just so glad she did it!"

Bella's relief is almost palpable. She's so nervous about the birth, which I can understand, but I'd love it if she were a bit more relaxed.

"That's marvelous," I say, drawing her into my arms once more, caressing her belly. "What a clever little girl we have."

I can feel Bella's smile against my lips, and then she waddles to the fridge and gets a carton of eggs. We have an omelet for breakfast, which Bella combines with slices of salami.

When we clear the table, Bella kisses my shoulder.

"What was that for?" I smile.

"Thank you for the pretty rose." She points at the red rose I failed to notice before. Only now do I remember her garbled words from tonight.

"Um… I'm sorry to disappoint you, but… I didn't put this there."

"It was delivered." Bella looks at me, puzzled. "I was slightly surprised, because this isn't your normal style…"

"Huh." I scratch my neck. "Wasn't there a card?"

She shakes her head. A horrible suspicion creeps up from my stomach to my throat. I force myself to smile.

"Well, Miss Swan, I suppose you have a secret admirer after your magazine photo shoot." I kiss her nose.

The magazine was published a week ago and was a big success. I love the pictures of Bella looking romantic and womanly, and breathtakingly beautiful. I'm proud that people buy that magazine and see her, pregnant with our baby, shining and happy.

_I'm not entirely sure that this rose is from a secret admirer though…_

I pull Bella close and kiss her hair. She smells so wonderful, familiar and warm. For a second, I close my eyes.

I don't feel too good about this.

=====oOo=====

The rest of the week passes quietly and without further incidents. I talk to Demetri and he tells me about his conversation with Victoria. He told her outright that I had informed him of her threats, and that he was not going to put up with her craziness. I was a respected and trusted member of his team, happily married, and she wasn't to try anything stupid.

I haven't seen her since our confrontation in the ER, but I'm pretty sure that she was the one who sent the blasted rose. I brought Bella an enormous bouquet of tiger lilies that night, to replace the red flower.

Bella has been a little moody over the past few days, but I'm not offended by it. It's hot, and she has our precious load to carry, getting more nervous with every passing day. I hate to leave her alone these days, always worried that she might go into labor.

Ben agreed a long time ago to cover for me during the first couple of weeks after Lizzie's birth, which I am sure will help. Every day, I'm realizing more that this is true, that we will be a family in just a few weeks. I cannot wait to meet our little girl.

"Edward?"

I've been drifting off during a long and boring meeting in Demetri's office. I worked a long shift last night, and didn't get a lot of sleep. Bella had a nightmare and woke just when I had fallen asleep, which, in return, woke me again.

She's worried that she'll be a bad mother, that she's not made out to fulfill a baby's needs, that she'll suffer from postpartum depression, or that something will go wrong during the birth.

So I held her and we talked. She was a bit better in the end, but I had to get up again four hours later, which was hard. It's difficult to accept that I'm not twenty-five anymore, and that my body needs longer times to recover. Well, thankfully not in _every_ area… Is it horrible to say that I miss sex? We've always had the most intense physical relationship, and now, it's been, I don't know… well, a couple of weeks, I guess.

_Well_, I _guess_ I'm just horrible for even thinking that way.

"Yes, sorry, what did you say, Dr. Hill?"

And so the meeting drags on and on. I need one big, big cup of coffee after this if I want to stay awake for the rest of my shift. Ben approaches me when we finally leave the office.

"You okay, Edward?"

I still haven't told him about any of Victoria's insinuations. Demetri and I had agreed that it would probably do no good. He is convinced that his talk brought Victoria to her senses, and he wants to let sleeping dogs lie. I just hope that this is the right approach. I don't feel too good about keeping all this shit from Ben, but on the other hand, what good would it do to bring him into this?

Demetri was very clear when he told me that he was going to monitor Victoria closely, and at the first chance, would fire her ass.

I just hope that this chance will occur before she does more harm.

**BELLA**

"Of course, Esme," I say. "We'd love you to come; you know that!"

"Well, I wasn't quite sure if I should ask," my mother-in-law admits. "Things have been so tense between Carlisle and Edward lately."

"I know. I wish I could do something about it. Edward won't really talk about it. And he's working long hours anyway, because he wants to take time off when the baby arrives."

"How is she?" I can hear the smile in Esme's voice.

"Very good," I reply, stroking my enormous belly. "Growing all the time."

"Oh, I can't wait to see you," she gushes.

We agreed for her and Carlisle to join us for the baby shower. Alice and Rose are being very secretive about their plans, but I told them that as long as I get to sit on the sofa, open gifts and eat pecan pie and ice cream, everything was all right with me. Obviously, this will not be a "moms only" baby shower. Seth and Collin will be there, as well as Jasper and Emmett and, as of now, Carlisle and Esme.

Ten minutes later, we end the call and I waddle to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. Edward constantly reminds me to keep hydrated, which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't need to pee all the time anyway. The waddling thing is sort of funny. As soon as Lizzie dropped, I started walking like a duck. Seth laughed at me when he came by last night, but I hit him over the head with a pillow.

I settle down on the terrace with my notebook to go over the birthing plan again. Edward and I worked on it over the last weeks, but it seems to calm me to go through it again and again. I try not to show it too much, but I'm scared shitless. Of the birth, and of everything following it.

I can't wait to have our little girl in my arms, but I just can't help the thoughts that creep into my head every time I think about it.

How can I be a good mother?

My own mother was such a horrible example. What if I just don't have it in me?

What if I can't love my baby? I've read about that.

What if I fall into a postpartum depression? That's my biggest fear, apart from the one that the baby might not be okay.

Or that the pain during birth might kill me.

Gah. I wish I could have a gin and tonic with Seth and Alice and laugh it all away.

But I'm also worried about Edward. He's working so much and sleeping badly – mostly due to my own uneasy dreams and nightmares, my bathroom trips and panic attacks. He's really patient, but something seems… off. I know him, and I know when he's hiding something from me. He starts pulling his hair, scratching at the back of his neck, and getting all flustered.

We haven't had sex in twenty-three days.

We've never gone this long without.

I always seem to feel hot and uncomfortable. Lizzie prefers to do her gymnastics at night, when I have come to rest, and between her kicks and jostles and my back pain, I haven't been in the mood for any gymnastics of my own.

I am huge. It was fun in the beginning, when my bump was cute and dainty, but now? I'm a fucking _house_! There are stretch marks and I will totally freak out if they stay that way. And then… my boobs. They are humongous, and they are leaking.

I know this whole having a baby thing is supposed to be majestic and natural and beautiful and shit, but the truth is: It's also fucking awkward.

I look up from my book, realizing I haven't made a single note. The sky over New York is turning pink and orange, with pretty white clouds in the distance. Lizzie knocks softly and I touch her, a big smile on my face. Well, maybe being pregnant isn't that bad after all. I never imagined that it was possible to have this connection, this complete and utter love for the little life growing inside you.

Well, not that little, from what it feels like.

"Oh Lizzie. I can't wait to have you here…" I coo.

The sound of my phone disturbs the moment. It's Edward. He sounds tense.

"Hey, baby. I'm sorry, but I'm stuck here. I don't think I'll be home for another three hours."

"Oh. Okay."

"I'm sorry, love," he repeats. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, sure."

"I'm – oh, _shit_," he says, his tone changing. "I need to go. Don't wait up for me, okay?"

I'm just starting to say something when I hear a female voice in the background, smooth as silk and sweet as cotton candy.

"_Edward? Are you coming?"_

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Edward will never, ever cheat on Bella, you know that, right? _Right?_**

**It will all be resolved…**

**Please leave a review, my dearest darling readers. **

**xoxo**

**Your harperpitt**


	37. It Isn't Done

**A/N:**

**Thank you once again for the wonderful response to the last chapter. You guys are the best readers I could wish for! **

**As always, huge big thanks to my most wonderful beta dellaterra. You always make me want to be better.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Okay, the road is getting bumpy in this chapter, but trust me.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 37: **It Isn't Done**

**BELLA**

It's after midnight, and I am still awake. My mind just can't get any rest.

When I heard someone talk to Edward earlier over the phone, I tried to make light of it, saying something like, "Wow, Dr. Cullen, you're really in demand aren't you? Who was _that_?"

Edward sounded curt and nervous when he replied. "Nothing. I mean, no one. Just a co-worker. Look, I gotta go…"

Edward loves me. He would never do anything behind my back.

He wouldn't.

_Then why am l so horribly scared?_

I think it was Victoria I heard in the background. Edward hasn't mentioned her in a long time. If it was her, why wouldn't he just say so when I asked him?

I sigh deeply. I guess I'm slowly going mad from lack of any challenge.

I miss working. I miss stepping out into the lights, the sizzle of a packed house reacting to my words. I miss working with my body, and I miss the sheer fun of the theater world – the pranks, the hilarity, the comradeship.

Even thinking it, I hate myself a little. I should be thankful for my baby, who is developing beautifully, and for my husband, who supports me and loves me. I should be grateful that I don't need to work – well, by now, I would be on maternity leave anyway, but I am aware of my privileged position. And I _am_ grateful. I'm just scared, and sometimes it's as if my old and more insecure self is reemerging. The Bella who let a chef make her cry, who was intimidated by Edward's beautiful family. The one who let Jake treat her like shit.

Maybe I'm alone too much.

I cry a little, giving in to my despondency and self-pity.

I'm really afraid of my hormones after the birth. They're all over the place now, and with my history, I suppose I'm a probable candidate for postpartum depression. I talked about it with Katie, and with Dr. Banner. Both tried to placate me and told me to wait and see how things would turn out. If worse comes to worst, I can still increase the dose of my meds, but that would mean I couldn't breastfeed Lizzie.

"Oh, fuck," I murmur into the pillow. I know I'm doing no one a service by brooding like this, but it's times like these, all alone in the night, when it's hard not to.

When I finally fall asleep, it's into uneasy dreams about my mother once again. It's always the same plot: She looks at me without saying a word and I try to draw some sort of reaction from her. She vanishes, leaving me sobbing, and more often than not, she takes my baby with her.

I wake, sweating and muddled. The red lights of the alarm clock glimmer in the dark. It's four-thirty. Sighing, I get up and waddle to the bathroom to relieve my aching bladder.

"Are you okay?" Edward whispers when I return.

My nightly doings always awaken him. He used to sleep so soundly, but now it's like he's on alert in case something might be wrong.

"Yeah," I mutter, climbing back into bed. "Just so uncomfortable. When did you get home?"

"Around one-thirty," he yawns, pulling me into his arms. "We had one hell of a job to do on a woman with twins who…" He yawns again. "Oh, never mind. Let's get back to sleep, okay?"

"'kay…"

He kisses the back of my neck and I feel him relax against me. After a few minutes, his quiet breathing tells me he's fallen asleep again.

I only manage to doze off after another hour spent fretting over hundreds of things.

I wake to the comfort of Edward's body wrapped around mine the next morning. The sun is already beating down. His hand is on our baby, his breathing warm and low at the nape of my neck. He's snoring softly.

I stay in bed for another ten minutes before I get up and go to the bathroom. My belly feels tight and my back aches, but the warm shower relaxes me a bit. I'd love to just climb back into bed, but I can't. The guests will be arriving at noon, and though Edward wants to take care of the cooking, there's still a lot to do. Anyway, Alice and Esme will be here in an hour to help.

I'm sitting at the breakfast table having a glass of orange juice when Edward pads into the kitchen. He looks sleepy, his hair a complete mess, his jaw stubbly. He's wearing pajama pants and one of the funny T-shirts Emmett likes to give him. This one says _Wake happy – sleep with a cardiologist ._

"Hi." He bends down to kiss me. "Excited for the big day?"

"Hmm," I reply. "Right now, I'm too tired to think clearly. I just wish I could have a cup of coffee or twelve."

Edward chuckles, tickling Cedric behind the ears. The cat is sitting on his spot on the windowsill, purring loudly. If he could smile, there'd be a huge grin on his face.

"When did Mom and Ali say they'd be here?"

"Around ten." I rub my stomach while I watch Edward set up coffee.

_Mean person._

"I wanted to make a spinach pie. What do you think?"

"Huh?"

I zoned off for a second. This pregnancy brain seems to be getting worse all the time.

"Spinach pie?"

"Yeah, great."

He steps behind me and kisses the top of my head.

"Are you okay, love?"

"Uh-huh." I yawn.

"Poor baby."

"Me-baby or baby-baby?" I ask, and he chuckles.

"I think baby-baby has it very good where she is," he murmurs into my hair. "I just wish I could make it easier on you."

My belly tightens once more, surprising me with its sudden intensity.

"Oh, fuck." My face contorts for a second.

"What is it?" Edward immediately crouches down next to me, his face worried.

"It's just uncomfortable." I take a deep breath. "Especially when she kicks my bladder during Braxton Hicks…" I get up, which takes me a second longer nowadays, and Edward helps me.

"It's okay," I assure him. "They always get better when I move. I'll be going upstairs to dress."

"Okay." Edward looks a bit forlorn.

He sets to work on the pie and other delicacies while I go upstairs. I want to be pretty for today, but I don't feel the part. My hair has a mind of its own, behaving almost like Edward's. The freckles on my nose irritate me, and there's a spot on my forehead that I try to cover with my hair, but said hair won't oblige. Maybe I should get bangs.

I'm standing in front of the closet in my underwear when I hear the doorbell ring, and a moment later, there's a commotion of excited female voices. I look at myself in the mirror, turning so I can see my profile. My belly is absolutely huge. I'm wearing my favorite set of blue bra and panties. They're comfy yet sexy, with lacy scallops, and the bra shows off my very rounded breasts.

A knock on the door startles me out of my musings, and, expecting it to be Alice, I say, "Come in." She's seen me numerous times in my underwear.

"Hey, Bella, I… oops."

Shit. It's Rose.

"I'm sorry, I…"

"No, I'm sorry…"

We both babble apologies, and then look at each other and laugh out loud, because really? This is ridiculous. The woman has three kids, for Christ's sake. She knows what a pregnant body looks like!

"Oh, man." Still chuckling, Rose shakes her head. "You're beautiful, Bella. Big, but beautiful."

"I hate the swollen feet," I say, "and the fact that I can't see them anymore. I feel like a balloon, all bloated, and I'm so clumsy."

"I know the feeling," Rose says, "which is the reason that you and I will now leave this house – after you're dressed, that is – and take the cab which is waiting outside to drive us to Dominique's."

"Are you kidding me?"

She's referring to a top-notch hairdressing salon, which is usually booked months and months in advance. I've gone there with Alice a couple of times.

"No." She grins happily. "Mom and Alice are downstairs, helping Edward. We're not needed here. I'm no good at that kind of thing anyway."

"But… what about Anna… and Lily?"

"They have a father," Rose shrugs, going through my closet. "Here." She pulls out a light cotton dress. "Put that on, and then we'll go."

I love my sister-in-law.

Right now, I'm sitting in a soft chair and a nice girl massages my scalp while another one gives me a pedicure. I have a very yummy drink in my hand – something with mango and strawberries – and Rose, who is sitting next to me, sips on a mimosa, clearly enjoying her free morning.

The whole drive here, I felt bad for leaving Edward and Alice alone with the preparations, but Rose kept telling me I am a goddess and deserve to be treated like one.

"Okay, Mrs. Cullen, what do you want to do with your hair?"

Amber looks at me in the mirror, and I shrug. "Just cut off an inch?" I suggest.

"No, no, no!" Rose shakes her head. "Don't you want to try something different? To celebrate the change in your life?"

"Yeah," Amber agrees, smiling hugely, the diamond stud in her nose sparkling.

"Um… I don't know…" I chew on my lip and stare at my reflection in the mirror for a couple of minutes. "Okay," I say, suddenly excited. "I know what I want to try."

**EDWARD**

I have the sweetest Mom and sisters in the world. They made up this plan to take Bella to an exclusive hairdressing salon to get her ready for the baby shower. They didn't tell me, so I was just as surprised as Bella. She's been so low the last couple of weeks, I'm sure it will do her a world of good to be pampered and prettified.

While I'm mincing and slicing and mixing and stirring, Mom is carrying plates and cutlery to the living room, where the buffet will be set up, and I don't even want to know what Alice is doing. The doorbell has rung a few times, but she always chirped that she'd answer it.

Wiping my hands on the apron, I take inventory of my contribution to the buffet. There's the spinach pie, and chickpea salad, sandwiches, chicken salad, fruit salad, Waldorf salad, mini pizzas, as well as meatballs and chicken wings with dips. Alice ordered me to not take care of the dessert and cake, so I guess that explains one of the deliveries.

I take two of the dishes to the living room and almost faint.

It's pink. Everything is pink. There are pink flowers and balloons, and paper streamers, garlands and pink diapers, candles and confetti. It's a nightmare.

In the middle of the buffet is a ginormous, four-layered cake with pink frosting and a large bowl with pink punch. There are pink marshmallows and pink party hats.

"You like it?" My sister looks at me from huge blue-green eyes. She's dressed in a dusky pink cocktail dress, already wearing one of the party hats.

"Yeah, well, it's… very pink, Ali."

"Yeah, well, that's… because you're having a baby girl, doofus," she imitates me, and a smile breaks out over my face.

"Thank you, sweets." I hug her small form. "Bella will freak."

"Yes, look at the cake," Alice says excitedly. "It has this really sugary frosting!"

"I can see that," I chuckle.

"And the punch is made with pomegranates and raspberries!" She takes my hand and pulls me in the direction of the piano. It has a large pink teddy bear on top.

"Laurent sent this," Alice explains. "And this," she points to a huge pink card with the words _Lifelong Disney Ticket_, "is from Uncle Aro, Jazzy and me."

"You're the sweetest little big sister in the world." I kiss her cheek, and Alice beams.

"There was no holding her back," Mom shrugs. "You know your sister, Edward."

"I do." I kiss Mom's cheek as well, and then there are voices from the hall, telling me that Bella and Rose have returned.

"Hi there," my sister calls. "Are you ready for the brand-new Mommy Bella?"

She enters the room with a big smile, mouthing something like, "_You need to reassure her about this_."

Bella follows a moment later, looking shy, chewing her lip.

"Oh my God!"

The second the words leave my mouth, I know that they came out all wrong_._

"I knew it!" Bella cries out. "I knew you'd hate it!"

She bursts into tears and leaves the room, climbing the stairs as fast as she can.

"Shit," Rose hisses under her breath.

"No! Baby, you look great! _It looks great_!" I follow Bella, but I hear the bedroom door slam before I have even reached the staircase.

"Edward," Mom calls after me as I run upstairs.

"Bella…" I knock on our bedroom door.

"Leave me alone," she wails from inside.

"Edward, let me." I didn't even hear Alice join me.

"No, this is my fault. _Bella_." I knock again. "You look lovely, baby. I'm sorry, it just came out all wrong."

The doorbell rings, announcing the first guests.

"Fuck," I mutter. "Please let me in, love."

Alice looks pained.

Downstairs, I can hear Mom and Rose greet someone.

"Please, love?"

It's silent inside, but then I hear the bathroom door, and a couple of seconds later, Bella comes outside. Her nose is slightly red, but apart from that, she looks okay. Huge, watery dark eyes meet me from under her newly acquired bangs. The rest of her hair is shorter too, falling in soft waves to just below her shoulders. She looks so different, and so beautiful. She has changed into a lovely, deep green summer dress that accentuates her beautiful neck and shoulders.

"I'm sorry," I say softly. "You look fantastic."

Bella doesn't answer, brushing past me instead and walking downstairs, where I can hear her welcome the guests. The doorbell rings again.

I look at Alice.

She just shakes her head, and mutters, "Moron," before she follows my wife.

An hour later, all of the guests have arrived, and everyone seems to be having a great time. The pile of gifts on top of my piano gets bigger and bigger and people are laughing and eating and drinking. Bella isn't exactly avoiding me, but I can clearly tell that I haven't been forgiven. Emmett just laughs his ass off when I tell him what happened. I'd been hoping for some brotherly support.

"She's so pregnant she couldn't be more if she wanted to. She probably feels bad about her body, about being bigger than a house –" He sees that I am going to interrupt, and stops me before I can say something. "Yeah, I know that _you_ don't feel that way, but that's not what this is about." He takes a swig of his Heineken. "Believe me, Edward, I've been through this with Rosie three times, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Don't mess with your pregnant lady." He laughs again, shaking his head at my stupidity.

"I didn't mess," I try to explain, "I just tried to… Oh, hi Katie." I greet Bella's OB/Gyn with a friendly hug. Emmett takes this chance to escape and disappears in the direction of the buffet. The living room and terrace are filled with people, and Anna and Lily, as well as Angela's boys Conner and Lee, are running around, playing. I can see Dad in conversation with Sam, and Lucy, Charlotte and Peter chatting on the sofa with Mom. Rose and Leah are laughing about something, pointing at the huge teddy bear from Laurent.

Bella and Seth are on the terrace, talking quietly by the banister. She's still upset, though she tries to hide it.

This is so silly, and I decide to just go to her and make it up when the doorbell rings. I press the button, wondering who it might be. The party's been going for two hours, and I thought everyone was already here, but then, I don't know who Alice, or Bella for that matter, might have invited.

Planting a smile on my face, I open the door.

And my blood freezes.

**BELLA**

"You really think so?" I ask Seth.

"You look gorgeous, Bells," he assures me once again. "I'm sure that Edward was just surprised."

I sigh and take a seat. My back hurts.

"Hey, Bella!" Adam greets me with a hug and I introduce him and Seth. We chat about this and that, and Alice joins us, bringing me a piece of bright pink cake.

I kiss her cheek and thank her again. She's outdone herself with this party.

"Oh, my," I giggle after the first bite of cake. "The baby will be on a sugar high if I eat this whole piece!"

"It's the real sugary frosting," Alice says proudly.

"You can say that again."

Alice smiles and I can tell that she wants to say something else when Carlisle approaches us with a smile.

"How is my lovely daughter-in-law? And granddaughter?" he asks.

Despite the problems between him and Edward, he's always very kind to me, especially since I'm pregnant. His initial suspicions that I might be after his son's money have long been silenced, and I think Esme plays a big part in his positive attitude.

"I'm fine, Carlisle," I reply, stroking over my belly. "And your granddaughter is looking forward to meeting you."

"I guess you can't wait to meet her too, am I right?" His blue eyes crinkle at the sides as he smiles, reminding me of Edward.

"Absolutely." I take a sip of my water, blinking against the sun. It's really hot. "I think I'd better go inside for a bit," I say. I'm sweating under my unfamiliar bangs.

"You do that," Carlisle agrees, and I get up and waddle into the living room.

I'm glad that Seth follows me, because what – or rather who – I see takes my breath away.

It's Victoria, standing with Lucy, Rose and Sam like it's the most natural thing in the world.

Like we'd invited her.

"What's the matter?" Seth asks. "You look as if you'd seen a ghost, Bells."

"What the fuck is she doing here? I mutter under my breath, searching for Edward. He's by the piano, preparing a glass of punch. I can see him grit his teeth as he crosses the room and hands the beverage to Victoria.

"Who is this?" Seth whispers.

"That crazy bitch from Edward's hospital I told you about," I reply. "You know, the mystical one."

"Why the hell did you invite her?"

"I didn't!"

"You mean… Edward did? I thought he didn't like her either?"

I'm slowly shaking my head, watching Edward as he joins into the conversation. Victoria, though, seems to sense that she's being watched and catches my eye. Her smile is far too bright as she crosses the room.

"Bella!" She opens her arms in a diva-like gesture and hugs me. "You look wonderful! Thank you so much for the invitation!"

_Edward. _

_What the fuck did he think, inviting her?_

"Hi, Victoria." I force myself to smile. "How nice to see you."

I introduce her and Seth, and I notice immediately that my best friend hates her guts. He has a radar for anything fake.

Edward is nowhere to be seen, so I guess I just have to partake in this ridiculous charade.

_Fuck my life._

Victoria wanders about our living room, admiring pictures and trinkets, then has a piece of cake and a plate of fruit salad. About an hour after she arrived, I find her in lively conversation with my father-in-law.

I'm sick.

Alice at some point announces that it's time for me to open the gifts, and everyone gathers on and around our large, L-shaped sofa. Edward sits on an armrest, with Collin, Sam and Victoria between us.

For some time, I'm actually distracted from the elephant that's, literally, sitting between us in the room, because my friends' and families' gifts are so sweet and thoughtful.

Alongside the usual baby items like onesies, hats and toys, there are also hand-made items like the small quilt Angela made, and a gift certificate from Emmett to babysit whenever we want to go on a date.

And then, there's a small package with a huge white bow.

I look around with raised eyebrows.

"This one's from James and me," Victoria says, her voice velvety and slick. "He sends his excuses. He would have loved to come, but he has to work."

"Oh, poor guy, and on a Sunday," says Lucy.

"Yeah," Victoria agrees. "We've been trying to find a better job for him, but it's harder than we thought it would be." At that she looks at Edward, who looks away.

But I can see that he is working his jaw.

"Well, Ben is working too," Angela says while she pries little Lee's hands off her glasses, which he's trying to play with – while they're on her nose. "That's life."

Everyone makes little comments like, "Yeah, I hate working on Sundays," or "I know what it feels like."

In an effort to change the subject, which seems an uncomfortable one even though I'm not quite clear why, I start to unwrap the gift.

It's a bright yellow card with sunflowers on it. I open it, and there's a handwritten message, the writing irregular and hard to read, and I guess I look rather helpless once I've deciphered it.

"It's our contribution for your birth," Victoria informs me happily. "A shaman will guide you and guard your journey with drums and incense."

I swallow, and I can see that Alice and Seth are trying to stifle their laughs. Emmett coughs, apparently because he got beer in the wrong pipe. Katie's eyebrows are saying hello to her hairline and Lucy looks just plain bewildered, grabbing Adam's hand for comfort. Charlotte frowns. Edward's face looks ashen.

"I doubt that any of this will be permitted at Lenox Hill," Carlisle chuckles. He doesn't look shocked, or as though a crazy woman had just given me a crazy "gift."

"You can always change your mind, Bella," Victoria says, "and have the baby at home. I'd love to do it for you."

It's Emmett who saves us, laughing out loud as if she'd made the biggest joke, slapping his thigh as he guffaws.

"That's a good one. Yeah, Bella, fu – I mean forget the fact that you had this scare earlier on and have to take care of your blood pressure and shit, or that your man works at the hospital you're going to deliver at. Hey, just have it at home, and we'll all join the shaman with his drums!"

For a second, I think that Victoria is about to lash out, but she swiftly composes her face.

"You're right," she laughs, a high and unnatural tone. "What was I thinking?"

Relieved, everyone joins into the laughter.

After that, the party gradually dissolves. We're saying good-bye to our friends, handing them containers of cake, hugging and kissing. Victoria smiles and twines her arms around Edward's neck. She says something to him, but her voice is so low that I can't hear it. Edward's face shows no expression whatsoever. He nods.

I can feel my patience wearing thinner by the minute.

An hour later, it's just the family and Seth, since Collin had to leave for his show.

Edward and Alice are taking plates and glasses into the kitchen while Carlisle and Emmett play Uno with Lily. Anna has fallen asleep on the sofa, and Rose is wrapping a light blanket around her small body.

"Are you okay, Bells?" Seth slings one arm around my shoulder.

"No," I reply tonelessly. "I'm fucking_ not_ okay."

And with that, I make my way into the kitchen.

"Edward?"

He's just closing the dishwasher, looking up, his eyes never meeting mine.

"Why did you invite her?"

"I didn't." His voice is hollow and low.

"Then why was she here?" I put one hand on my hip and stare at him, daring him to look at me.

Alice, who has been putting the leftovers in containers, tries to mediate.

"Don't be angry, Bella, I'm sure that – "

"No. No, Alice. This is between us, I'm sorry."

"Okay," she whispers. She leaves the room.

"Bella… baby…" Edward looks pained.

I wait.

"It's… _oh fuck_… this is much more difficult than you can imagine…"

Cold fear grips at my heart, and it suddenly becomes difficult to breathe. I'm dizzy.

I have been here before.

I can see Jake's face as if it were yesterday. "Everybody Loves Somebody" plays in the background, and the U in "I LOVE YOU" on my cake is wobbly.

"_I… I don't know how to say this…"_

"_I met a girl."_

"_And we're in love."_

"Noooo!"

My scream is earth-shattering, while the plate that I throw merely shatters the glass door of the cabinet with Edward's favorite spices.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading, and please don't throw tomatoes at me. You knew a little drama was coming. Please let me know what you think!**

**Until next weekend,**

**Your **

**harperpitt**


	38. I've Got An Awful Lot to Learn

**A/N:**

**Dear readers,**

**Please forgive me for not replying to your reviews. I have been sick, lying in bed and coughing and sneezing all week. Today is the first day I can think clearly, but I thought you'd rather have a new chapter than a thank you. But please know that I read and cherish each and every single one of your reviews.**

**I can never thank my dear and gorgeous beta, dellaterra, enough. **

**Thank you to MDtwiwriter for pre-reading.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 38: **I've Got An Awful Lot to Learn**

**EDWARD**

Shit, shit, shit.

I should have known it. I should have known that keeping it a secret from Bella would eventually come back around and bite me in the ass.

And now it's too late, because she has the totally wrong impression, and she threw a plate in the kitchen cabinet before she stormed out of the room.

I can hear screaming and crying from the living room, and I know I need to follow her, but I'm somewhat petrified, staring at the shattered glass at my feet.

Victoria arrived at Bella's baby shower, and now my wife thinks – what?

God, I feel sick.

I think I should do something, go out, go after her, or sit down and have a sip of water, but I can't. I stare at the shards of glass and try to think. But I can't, because I'm petrified with fear.

"Edward?"

It's Mom's soft voice as she peeks in.

"Hey," she says, crossing the room. She takes my hands into hers.

"Hey," I murmur.

"Let's sit down?"

"No, I… I need to… to go… talk to her…"

"I don't think that would be such a great idea right now, darling."

"Fuck," I breathe.

"Edward," she smiles, "language." She gives my hands a little squeeze. "What's going on?" she asks, her voice soft and patient.

"God, Mom…" I close my eyes because I can feel tears welling up.

"Esme?"

Oh, hell, it's my dad. Right. As if this clusterfuck wasn't bad enough already.

"What's going on?" he questions, apparently completely oblivious to the sensitive situation.

"Edward and Bella are having… problems," Mom begins tentatively, but I interrupt her before she can go on.

"We do _not _have 'problems,'" I say. "We have a misunderstanding. A fucking big one."

"What's the matter?" Dad asks, his voice serious and… somewhat soft.

**BELLA**

I'm crying so hard that I'm close to hyperventilating. Lizzie is kicking softly, as if she wants to comfort me.

"Bells…" Seth sits down next to me on the bed, gently stroking my back.

I can't even respond, sobbing so hard that I'm afraid I might go into labor any moment.

"He can't be doing this to me," I pant.

"Bells, please. Breathe, okay?" He searches for something on my bedside table. "Here. Open your mouth." He puts four drops of Bach flowers on my tongue, but I can't stop sobbing.

_This can't be true, this can't be true._

I'm hugging my swollen belly, rocking to and fro.

"Bells, you need to calm down. Please. This can't be good for the baby…"

There's a knock on the door, and I look up.

"I don't want to see him," I mumble, more tears streaming down my face.

"It's Alice," she calls softly. "Can I come in?"

Seth looks at me for confirmation and I give him a nod while I blow my nose.

"Bella." Alice sits down on my other side and takes my hand into hers, which is small and cool. "What's going on?"

**EDWARD**

Mom and Dad are across from me at the breakfast table, and Rose is by my side. Emmett and Jasper have left with the girls.

Rose fetches a bottle of bourbon and four glasses, pouring a generous amount for me.

I tell them everything. How Victoria tried to befriend us, and her strange behavior. Her accusations and the way she insinuated things. Everything, including her attempt at blackmailing me, and my telling Demetri.

Mom is horrified and keeps shaking her head. Rose mutters a number of gory profanities I've never heard from her before. Dad is quiet, listening intently, clear blue eyes trained on mine.

"So Demtri talked to her," I say, gulping down the whiskey, "and I was hoping she'd come to realize how crazy her idea was. And then she shows up at Bella's baby shower… I should have thrown her out immediately… but who knows what she might have done?"

I bury my face in my hands, rubbing my eyes.

_What a fucking nightmare._

"And you never told Bella any of this?"

Mom's green eyes are filled with rage and compassion.

"No," I rpond vehemently. "I didn't want to worry her. I mean, with all those hormones, and her disposition… She hasn't been feeling good during the past few weeks…" Three skeptical pairs of eyes are on me. They make me feel like an idiot. "I was trying to protect her, for God's sake!"

"She's not a child, Edward," Rose says accusingly, her eyebrows knit together. "You should have trusted her."

"I _do_ trust her!" I take another sip of my drink.

"Yeah, but do you trust her capacity to take care of herself?" Mom says, her tone much kinder than my sister's. "You don't trust her to be strong enough to cope with things."

"You made everything so much worse," Rose adds.

I'm close to flipping, the strain of the afternoon and the whole situation bearing down on me. I shake my head, looking between them.

"Aren't you supposed to be on my side?" I shout. "Don't you think this is a fucking horrible situation for me? But I tried to do things right! The best way I knew how! Fuck."

I get up from the table and pace the kitchen. Mom swept up the glass shards from the cabinet earlier. The plate also broke a few glasses with herbs I brought from Italy.

The thought of Italy, of our honeymoon, makes my nose tingle and my throat congest. Cedric, who has been hiding, has appeared from nowhere and purrs around my feet.

I remember the night I met him, back at Bella's old apartment. We had made love for the first time, and I made us a midnight snack of scrambled eggs. Cedric was tickling my naked feet as I was cooking, and Bella mistook my surprise, offering to lock Cedric in the bathroom.

"Hey, buddy." I crouch down and pat him.

"Ladies," I hear Dad say in a gentle voice. "I think it's time for a talk between father and son."

**BELLA**

Between them, Alice and Seth have managed to calm me down. The tears have decreased, although they tend to return irregularly alongside little hiccups.

I tell them about the way Edward would get silent and withdrawn over the past weeks, and how I attributed it to stress. How strangely Victoria always behaved whenever I met her. How terrified I am that history might repeat itself.

"That's such rubbish, Bella!" Alice exclaims passionately once I have voiced my fears. "My brother adores you more than anyone in the world! He would never, never do anything like that! I saw the way he looked at her, and I can tell you that he was this close to ripping her apart!"

"I'm so afraid," I mumble, stroking my belly. Up and down, up and down.

"I know, babe," Seth says softly. He kisses my wet cheek. "But there's no reason to be."

"But why… why was she even here?"

"I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for this," Seth says. "From what you told me, this lady is just crazy…"

"Yeah," Alice cuts in. "I mean, a shaman that will drum for you during delivery?"

That makes me chuckle, but it's followed by another bout of tears.

"I'm so scared… So scared."

**EDWARD**

"What now?" I address my father, who is pouring both of us another drink. "You want to tell me in private what a loser I am? Don't think I'm not aware of the fact."

Carlisle heaves a deep sigh, staring into the amber liquid between his hands. He has the same fingers as mine. Long and, I guess, sensitive.

Cedric has hopped onto the chair next to me that Rose vacated ten minutes ago. She and Mom left after Carlisle's announcement, and since my parents are staying with her and Emmett, my father will just have to take a cab whenever we finish our father and son chat.

He's still silent, taking off his rimless glasses and cleaning them with a white handkerchief he produces from his pocket. Apart from Aro, he is the only person I know who still carries linen handkerchiefs with him. It's rather endearing.

"You're a good husband, Edward," he says, out of nowhere. "And you'll be a good father." He takes a deep sip of his bourbon. "A much better father than I was," he adds, so quietly I'm not sure I heard him right.

"I don't think you're a loser, Edward," he says when he looks up and into my eyes. "At all." He falls silent again.

"You're very different from me," he continues after a while. "I've always been ambitious, always wanting to be the best. Always in it for the competition." He scratches his chin. "When your uncle Aro and I were growing up," he continues, " my father, Edward Senior, always wanted me to take care of the family heritage. He would have loved for me to spend more time in London, and marry an eligible young lady, preferably with a title. But I wanted to have my own career, and to go into medicine. So the job was offered to Aro, who was a law student by that time.

"As you probably know," Dad chuckles, "your uncle isn't the most consistent person you'll ever meet, which is why my father would have preferred me for the job. He was disappointed when I wouldn't join him, and from then on, always made it clear that I had let him down. "

I run a hand through my hair, distractedly wondering why Dad is telling me all this.

"When you decided to follow me on the medical path – although in a different sector – I was so proud, Edward. It was like proof to me that my decision, decades earlier, had been right. And you have such natural talent." He smiles. "I would have given an arm to have this gift."

He pours us both another drink.

Cedric growls in his sleep, his whiskers twitching.

"But you are so different from me," Carlisle goes on after a while. "You're much more like your mom. You make your decisions with your guts, while I always go with my brains." He holds up one hand. "I'm not saying that the one is better than the other. Just that we're different." He falls silent again, swigging his whiskey in the glass.

"I never understood how you could place your private life above your career, when, to me, it was so obvious that you have this rare talent. You'd rather travel with Aro, spend time abroad, and…" He pauses, searching for words. "_Learn_, I guess. Just not the way I was accustomed to. And then you started a brilliant career, and you seemed to get everything right. Your profession, your personal life… You know how I adored Tanya in the beginning, because she fit in so perfectly with the whole picture due to her exquisite looks."

"Yeah," I mutter. "Tanya was fucking perfect all right."

"I know now how wrong I was, Edward. It took me a long time to understand you. _Your _reasons, _your _motivations, _your_ decisions. I only saw that you were throwing away potentially brilliant chances."

This time, it's I'm the one who sighs deeply.

"I'm sorry, Edward." His blue eyes are clear and intelligent and… warm. "Really sorry. You always do what you know is best for your life. As a man, as a husband, and soon, as a father. That's a strength I'm afraid I never had, because I was always searching for everyone's approval."

I swallow, but it has no affect on the big lump in my throat.

"I'm so proud of you, Edward," he says.

And then he gets up, and I get up, and we hug.

**BELLA**

I'm woken by an odd sound, but then I realize it's my own snoring.

Right.

Now I remember everything.

I fell asleep on Seth's shoulder and he and Alice put me to bed.

They stayed with me, and I can't remember them leaving.

The alarm tells me that it's five minutes past two.

I wonder where Edward is.

I guess he moved out after I behaved like a monumental bitch last night.

I mean, what was I thinking?

I threw a plate at him. Well, not at him, but at the kitchen cabinet.

Struggling with the sheets, I sit up and clumsily leave the bed, waddling to the bathroom.

I almost fall asleep while I'm peeing, but I manage to wash my hands and leave the room and peer out the door. I can hear muffled voices from downstairs The downstairs hallway is dark but there's a sliver of light under the living room door. I yawn.

I hope it's not Emmett, or Alice, trying to get him drunk in order to forget about our miserable day.

_Our miserable day._

Shuffling back into the bedroom, I hide beneath the soft covers and cry a little more.

**EDWARD**

It's three a.m. when I call Dad a cab. I'm worn out, but it's like a weight had been lifted from my chest.

I merely wonder why we didn't do this sooner. Talk, I mean. We're two grown, intelligent men. At least, that's what we like to think.

My dad admitted that it was difficult for him to accept my close relationship with Aro, who was always more fun-loving and easygoing than Carlisle. Dad didn't use the word, but it became rather obvious that he is, indeed, jealous.

And then we talked about the situation with Victoria.

"You know," Dad said, "in some way, I think your Mom and sister are right. Bella is stronger than you are giving her credit for. You shouldn't have left her out, no matter how unpleasant the situation is."

God, I'm tired. I don't want to wake Bella, especially not smelling like a distillery. Especially not after everything that happened. I wash my face in the downstairs bathroom. I even manage to locate a spare toothbrush.

Cedric is delighted as he snuggles up to my feet once I conk out on the sofa.

**BELLA**

Wow. I haven't slept so long in months.

I check the alarm for the time. It's almost ten.

I'm alone in bed.

Edward must have left for work hours ago.

There's no note on his pillow, nor on the bedside table. No message on my phone.

Should I call him?

Okay, before I do _anything_, I have to pee. That done, I take a shower, during which Lizzie nudges me several times. She likes the warm water. I caress her and talk to her, thinking of her daddy and the monumental disaster of last night.

I brush my teeth and massage lotion into my skin. I put on a pair of pale blue panties and a matching bra, and continue massaging my belly, softly talking to Lizzie. I don't really know what to do now.

Am I angry with Edward?

Yes, I suppose so, because whatever happened last night, he didn't tell me the truth.

Is Edward angry with me?

Probably, because I wouldn't listen to him, instead screaming and throwing things at him.

"Oh, Lizzie-Pea," I sigh, opening the bathroom door. "Your parents are so stupid…"

"You can say that again."

I almost have a heart attack as I look up and see Edward sitting on our bed, looking bleary-eyed and pale, wearing nothing but white boxer briefs. His hair is totally disheveled, his jaw is stubbly, and he looks anxious.

"Edward."

"Baby." He heaves a deep sigh. "I'm… I'm so fucking sorry." He gets up and takes a tentative step in my direction. "I…" He bites his lip. "I should have to talked to you much sooner." He swallows thickly.

"Talk to me now," I say, my voice a mere whisper.

We sit down side by side on the edge of our bed, and while I rub soothing circles on my belly, Edward starts to talk.

At first, he's slow and hesitant, staring at the floor while he speaks. He tells me about the indirect threats Victoria made against Ben, and how she got more and more blunt. He tells me that he didn't talk to me because he was worried. How he spoke to Demetri, who promised to talk to Victoria and keep an eye on her. How that seemed to work for some time –until everything blew up in his face last night.

He looks up. His eyes are so tired.

"I thought I could manage this on my own," he says. "I… I wanted to protect you. You and Lizzie…"

"Oh, Edward," I murmur, imagining what he must have been through, bearing that load all by himself. I take his hands in mine. How I love those hands, those long fingers. "You should have talked to me…"

"I realize that now," he says ruefully. His thumb is stroking mine. "You wouldn't believe the tongue-lashing my mother and sister gave me last night, and in the end, Carlisle told me the same thing."

"So you talked to him."

"For hours," Edward says. "It's… we've never talked like this. We really cleared the air." At that, he smiles. "About a lot of things."

"Oh, baby." I move closer and wrap my arms around his neck.

Edward's face relaxes further, and he pulls me into his embrace. "I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispers into my hair. "I should have trusted you… I should have told you…"

His warm skin on mine feels so good, so familiar. His hair is tickling my nose, and his scruff is scratching my neck. It's clear that he hasn't showered after a long night with a few too many drinks – although he did brush his teeth. He still smells good to me, like Edward. I kiss his ear.

"I love you," I murmur. "I want to protect you too, you know. To think you had to carry all that shit on your shoulders… You _could_ have told me, you know? I'm tougher than you think."

"I know," he mumbles. "That's what Mom said too. That I should give you more credit than that. Or maybe it was Dad. I don't remember." He puts his head on my shoulder and places his palm on my belly.

"Are you okay?" he asks, kissing my neck. "Is… is Lizzie okay?"

"We're fine," I nod, closing my eyes at the sensation of his soft, warm lips.

"I could have killed her when she waltzed in here yesterday," he says. "And the worst is, I still don't know what to do, or what she really wants."

I massage his scalp, nuzzling his jaw with my nose.

"We'll think of something," I say. A thought occurs to me. "Why aren't you working?"

"It's my day off," he says, chuckling a little and kissing my forehead. "You're right, there is a condition such as pregnancy brain."

"Amnesia," I murmur into his hair.

"Amnesia then," he sighs, obviously enjoying my massage. "I love you so much, Bella. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

He sinks back on the bed and pulls me with him until we are lying side by side. My bump is touching his stomach, and my breasts are pressed against his chest. I hook my leg over his thigh and run my fingers down his back until I reach his delectable butt. I squeeze lightly, making Edward groan. I can feel the prominent bulge inside his boxers, and I try to achieve some friction, but my belly makes it difficult.

Our lips meet in a kiss that is at once tender and hungry. It's been two weeks, which is a long time for us. Within minutes, we're breathing heavily, our lips and tongues playing hotly, our hands roaming each other's skin.

My heart is beating a wild tattoo, and I'm hot and giddy. My whole body is tingling, every touch and every breath setting me further on fire. Somewhere at the very back of my mind, there's the thought that this will change once the baby's here. We won't be able to do it after she's born… We need to stock up and…

"Oh, _God_!" I moan when Edward's hand cups my sex, having slipped into my panties. His finger circles and dips in while his thumb applies gently pressure, and before I know it, I'm biting his shoulder and coming, and coming, and coming.

"Mngh…" I try to regain my breath, my nose pressed against Edward's bicep. "Oh…"

Edward laughs softly, pulling his hand out of my underwear, making me shudder once more.

"How I love to see you like this," he whispers, placing kisses on my chin and the side of my mouth. "Falling apart… " He kisses me passionately then, and it's sexy and sweet and sensual. I twine my arms around him, losing myself in Edward, in his taste and his smell, the sensation of muscle and hair, of soft and firm.

He groans when I let my hand travel down his happy trail, and hisses when it finds Happy Land.

"Mmm…" I pepper his chest with kisses while I struggle with his boxer briefs and he helps me pull them off. I take him in my hand. Best feeling ever. He's big and hard and throbbing and hot, and all mine.

"Edward… I want you… I want you…"

He moans softly as I pump him, but manages to open my bra, which has a clasp in front.

"Oh God, baby… Isabella…" I don't know if it's the sensation of what I'm doing with his cock, or the sight of my breasts, but Edward's face is contorted in pleasure.

I bring my face closer to his and suck his lower lip between mine.

"How do you want to do it?" I moan into his mouth. "Because it won't work like this…"

"Turn around," he murmurs hotly, helping me and tugging at my panties, pulling them down over my feet. He kisses my calves and my thighs on his way back, and my bottom. He stops there, giving it a small bite that makes me squeal.

He takes off my bra and kisses my back and my shoulders.

"You're so beautiful, Bella… So incredibly beautiful…"

He settles against my back, and I can feel him pressing into my thigh.

"Edward…" It comes out as a whine.

I can feel him move until his tip is at my entrance. And then, at last, he slides in, and we both moan at the utter relief at being connected.

Perfect. One.

Once he's settled inside me, he halts his movements.

"You okay?" His voice is husky, his breath so hot on my skin.

"God, yesss…"

He growls softly and licks over my neck before he begins to move slowly, carefully, kissing and murmuring all the time.

His hand moves to my front and settles on my breast. Something feels a little wet, but I couldn't care less, meeting Edward's movements with my own, grabbing onto the headboard for leverage.

I have no idea how long we go on like this. It could be minutes, or and hour… It's divine. It's hot and sultry, but not about getting off. We're basking in our connection.

"Oh, God…" The pressure is getting tighter, and I'm grabbing hard onto Edward's forearm. He increases his tempo, and I can hear our skin slapping together, and our moans and grunts mingling.

"Argh… Edwa… aaahh…"

I shudder and explode, crying out in ecstasy while he slams into me, a sound between a mewl and a grunt leaving him as his wet lips suck on my skin. He stills and gives a few more shallow thrusts, which make me shudder all over again.

We're a sweaty, panting mess. We're so close.

My belly is still constricting in the aftermath of our passion, and when I touch it, it's a bit hard. Edward's hand joins mine.

I turn around in his arms, a soft "oof" leaving my lips.

"Are you alright?" Edward's eyes look so different now. Warm and happy. He kisses me.

"Mmm-hmm." I kiss him back. My abdomen relaxes. Lizzie nudges me, and I know that Edward feels it too, because he smiles.

He turns on his back and pulls me with him, and I place my head on its favorite spot, in the nook between his shoulder and armpit. His skin smells… raw and animalistic. Well, like sex. Great sex.

He kisses my forehead, his fingers drawing lazy patterns on my belly.

"I love you," he says, his sober tone contradicting the intimate atmosphere. "I'm sorry about…"

"Shh…" Propping up on my elbow, I stop him with a kiss. "Can we please forget about yesterday?"

"Yeah…" He thinks, and scratches his chin. "No. Because I…" He begins again, sweet man. "Because _we_ need to do something about it."

"I know," I sigh. I kiss him softly. "And we'll think of something. We'll talk about it. But right now, I want to lie here with you for another few minutes."

Edward makes a chuckling, grunting noise. He agrees.

"And then, "I go on, drawing a line from his chest to his belly, "I want to take a shower with you."

"Mmm," he replies. "I know. I must smell like a skunk."

"No," I tell him, placing another kiss on his delicious lips. "You smell like my love. My husband."

Edward grins crookedly.

"And then, we'll have breakfast," I murmur. I kiss his soft lips one more time before I put my head back on his chest. "And _then_ we can talk," I finish.

Edward kisses my brow.

"Okay, my little lamb," he whispers.

"Okay."

Two minutes later, the way his chest is heaving and setting tells me that he has fallen asleep, and I'm getting drowsy as well, enveloped by Edward's warmth and love.

I'm so happy he told me everything. It's difficult, but I know we'll find a way.

And I may be Edward's little lamb, but I can be a lioness too.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**Thank you for reading, and please, please take a second to review.**

**Thank you to all of you who always do it – you know how much it means to me!**

**Have a great weekend!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	39. Baby Games

**A/N:**

**Huge big thanks to my wonderful, wonderful beta dellaterra. You're the best, best, best!**

**Thank you to MDtwiwriter for your help!**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 39: **Baby Games**

**EDWARD**

"Do you hate it?" she asks shyly, referring to her new hairstyle.

"Bella… no! You look so cute. I love it!" I kiss her bangs. "Love it… Love you."

She giggles because I'm tickling her ribs while I kiss her face.

We're in the kitchen, preparing breakfast, but it goes slowly because we cannot stop kissing and touching each other. Our talk earlier, and the ensuing lovemaking, left both of us much more relaxed than we have been for a long time. It feels good not to have to hide my thoughts any longer.

Bella, who has been sensing that something was wrong, seems relieved as well. Her mood is lighter than it has been in weeks, and she looks completely adorable in tiny shorts and my old Harvard tee. I love her new hair. The first second I was shocked because it was unfamiliar, but it suits her, and I get it that she wanted something new to have an outward expression for the new chapter in her life. The bangs make her look girly and sassy, accentuating the deep brown of her eyes.

Bella adds another slice of bacon to the pan and bats her eyelashes at me. Since I'm a cardiac surgeon, she knows my opinion on cholesterol and animal fat.

"This one's for Cedric, I presume?" I smile.

She grins. "No, it's for your daughter."

"I see." I kiss her cheek.

We have a peaceful and pleasant breakfast, the radio playing in the background, our fingers playing with each other.

I know that we're procrastinating, both of us needing this little period of calm before we get back to the perpetrator of our troubles.

Only when we are clearing the table does Bella address the subject.

"So…" She puts a box of Cap'n Alphabet into the cabinet. "What are we going to do?" She leans against the kitchen counter, cradling her belly.

I sigh, knowing that it's no use avoiding it any longer.

"I have given a lot of thought to the possibilities, and the only thing that makes sense to me is this: I'm going to talk to James."

"I thought of that too," Bella says, taking my hand in hers. "What if he's the one behind it though?"

"I don't believe that," I say. "Don't ask me why, but it's a hunch I have. She's so manic about it, and so silly at the same time that I can't imagine they are plotting this together. I mean, the way she went about it was totally ridiculous."

"You think she's sick?" Bella's eyes are worried.

"I think she's obsessed, for whatever reason, with this plan to get her husband into my, or Bens's, position."

"Oh, God, Edward…" She nudges my chest with her head, and I put my arms around her. "How would you do this? Call him?"

For a second, I feel bad about sharing anything unpleasant with Bella, and I realize how much it has become an automatic reaction. I always try to wrap her in cotton wool – and look where it got me.

"I'll go to Mount Sinai this afternoon."

"Are you sure?" She looks so worried.

"It's the only thing I can think of. I'm sure to get him without her there, and in a safe environment."

Bella sighs deeply, then puts my hand on her belly.

"Promise me you'll be careful," she says.

It tugs at my heart, because I know that she's not only speaking for herself, but for our daughter as well.

As if to confirm my thoughts, Lizzie kicks lightly against my hand, and I caress her.

"Don't worry, love." I kiss Bella's soft lips, lingering for a moment. "We could do something nice tonight, what do you think?"

"Something nice?" she murmurs, and I can feel her smile.

"Dinner and a movie," I mumble against her lips.

"Are you asking me on a date, Dr. Cullen?"

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen."

"I think I'd love that."

"And I love you…"

=====oOo=====

"Dr. Edward Cullen," I introduce myself to the nurse behind the reception desk at Mount Sinai Hospital's cardiovascular department. She looks at me through thick, black-rimmed glasses.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen, what can I do for you?"

"I would like to speak with Dr. Trackwell, if that is possible." I give her my most charming smile.

She smiles back. "Do you have an appointment with him?"

"No. It's… it's a personal matter. Could you maybe call him?"

"I can," she shrugs, "but if you don't have an appointment…"

"Please?" I cock my head and pout my lips. It always works with Bella, and…

_Bingo!_

She takes the phone and, after a few moments, explains my request.

"Dr. Cullen, yes… Okay… Will do." She hangs up and faces me again. "It's your lucky day. You can go to his office. It's down that hall," she points to the left, "and then take a right after the elevators. Go through the glass door, and it's on the left side."

"Thank you so much."

I'm quite nervous as I make my way to James's office. Obviously, I have no idea how he's going to react. I take a deep breath and knock.

"Yes, come in," he response.

When I open the door, he's getting out of his chair, coming around his desk to meet me. He looks tired, and seems older than I remember him.

"Edward." We shake hands. "What a surprise to see you! Take a seat. How are you? How is Bella?" His friendliness seems very real.

"Good, thank you. I'm sorry to just drop by like this, but…"

"What can I do for you, Edward?"

I never noticed that his eyes have slightly different colors. One is gray, and the other one grayish-blue. Partial heterochromia, it's called.

I run a hand through my hair, wondering how to start.

"Bella had her baby shower yesterday," I say.

"How nice." He waits for me to go on, as it is obvious that I didn't come here to talk to him about diaper cakes.

"Victoria was there."

"She was?" His expression changes, and I know that he's worried.

"Yes." I sigh. "Look, I don't know how to put this, and it's really uncomfortable, but, you see, she wasn't invited."

"Oh." James's frown becomes deeper.

"Can I be frank?"

"Please."

And so I tell him everything. It's the third time in twenty-four hours that I recount Victoria's behavior, and it feels strange to do so for her husband. The further I go on, the sorrier I feel for James, and by the time I'm finished, his face is ashen.

The room is silent for a few long, long minutes. I don't doubt James's reaction. He had no idea. But he's aware of something being wrong with Victoria.

"I'm sorry, Edward," is the first thing he says. "If I had known…" He shakes his head sadly. "If I had known that she was doing this…" He rubs one hand over his mouth. "I was really hoping that she was over this."

"_This_ being?"

"Victoria had a tubal pregnancy almost ten years ago, which left her infertile. Needless to say, we were devastated. She believed that she was failing me. She went into therapy, and tried a number of things to help her get over the loss. Hypnosis, reincarnation therapy, imposition of hands… She went to see a clairvoyant, and became attached to healing with stones. I thought nothing of it, because all those things seemed to help her.

"About two years ago, she became involved with this _group_ – this sect – in Pennsylvania. Their beliefs are pretty cryptic, and their leader seems like a total creep to me. At first I thought it was helping Victoria, but it wasn't. I finally convinced her to leave them, and when the chance for our move came up, I welcomed it. Sure, I wasn't exactly happy when I didn't get the job at Lenox Hill, but we'd always known that it might not happen, and I'm happy with my job here. "

"I don't get it," I say. "I mean, I'm sorry about your losing the baby and the fact that you can't have children, but… none of what you told me right now explains Victoria's behavior. I mean, she threatened to blackmail me! She wanted to ruin Ben's career by spreading lies about him!"

"She suffers from schizophrenic psychosis," James says.

For a moment, the room seems to be closing in on me.

"She was diagnosed with this? And she's still working? With expectant mothers? With tiny newborns?"

"The failed pregnancy was not the cause for her illness," James explains, "it merely triggered a period. The reasons for her condition probably lie in her childhood, and I don't want to talk about this, but yes. She was diagnosed with a mild form, and she went to a clinic. She's taking medications for it, and sees her doctor once a week – that was a condition your hospital had before she would be employed. Up to now, it worked. She has proven herself to be an excellent doctor. Have you ever doubted any of her professional skills, Edward?"

"No," I admit.

Well, apart from the shaman with the bongos, but I'm not telling James about that.

"So… what are you going to do now?"

"I'll speak to her," James says. I'm so sorry for the poor man. What a nightmare.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I'm afraid not. I guess she will have to stop working for a period of time, and I would be grateful if you kept this conversation to yourself."

"That goes without saying."

"I'm sorry, Edward. I only wish you'd have come to me earlier. Didn't anyone else notice that something's going on with her?" He looks absolutely tortured.

"No, I don't think so."

"I guess she was fixating on you because you're the one, who, in her opinion, has my job, and at the same time, you and Bella are having a baby. That must have triggered something."

"Yeah, but then… why does she want to have Ben kicked out, not me?"

James shrugs sadly. "Who knows? My best guess is that she just admires your work."

"I'm so sorry," I tell James. "If there's anything… just let me know."

"Let's stay in touch on this, okay?"

We both stand and shake hands, and then he walks me to his office door. I'm as exhausted by our conversation as James looks.

Poor guy.

**BELLA**

I'm sitting in the wicker loveseat on the terrace with my feet propped up on a chair, trying to read, but my thoughts keep drifting. I wonder what's taking Edward so long. He sent a message an hour ago.

_Everything went well, and I think the problem is solved. On my way home now, I love you, E._

Cedric hops on the chair I parked my feet on and gets comfortable. He has accepted the fact that I will shoo him off when he tries to sit on my stomach. I sometimes ask myself what he will be like with a baby. I hope he'll adapt to that, and not show his displeasure by peeing in her bassinet. Or in our bed.

Edward is convinced that the cat knows I'm pregnant, claiming that Cedric is able to "smell the difference." I don't think so. Cedric is the same fat little nut he's always been.

He might have gained some "sympathy weight," like Edward did. That's what comes from stealing ice cream from your pregnant wife and sharing it with the cat!

Cedric licks over my bare toes and makes me giggle. He looks up from round amber eyes, distracted from the task at hand, I mean foot.

"Go on if you want," I tell the cat, giggling again when his sandpaper tongue meets my big toe.

"You having a little party here, or what?"

Edward kisses my ear before I can even see him, and my heart flip-flops happily.

_Three-and-a-half years, and this is my reaction._

"Hey," I murmur while Edward sits down next to me and kisses me for real.

"Hi," he whispers against my lips. "You good?"

"Yeah. How did it go?" I ask immediately.

"Hmm." Edward rubs my back a little, and I heave a comfortable sigh.

"We were right," he says eventually. "She is sick. Apparently, she was diagnosed with a schizophrenic psychosis years ago, and treated for it. It seems the illness is just reemerging."

"Oh, my God!" My hand flies to my mouth. "And she's allowed to work with babies and pregnant women?"

Edward smiles briefly. "That was exactly my first thought, too. But like I said, she seemed to be stable all those years. James is very distraught. He had no idea that anything was going on."

"And now?"

"He'll take her to see a doctor. And then… Well, it's out of our hands, really. I just hope he does the right thing."

Edward goes on to tell me in more detail about his meeting with James, and I begin to feel really sorry for the man.

We keep talking, the New York sky melting into a vibrant orange above Central Park in the distance. It's still warm, but no longer as stifling as it has beenover the past few weeks. Cedric has fallen asleep draped around my feet.

"Do you want to go out for dinner?" Edward asks. "We could go to Tommaso's." He's referring to the little Italian restaurant around the corner.

"Yes," I agree, stroking my stomach. "I'd love some pasta with eggplant. And olives. And parmesan."

Edward grins indulgently and kisses the side of my mouth.

"Okay. Then let's go." He helps me up and Cedric wakes, stretching and yawning before he walks back inside to inspect his bowl.

Our dinner is lovely and relaxed. Tommaso, the owner of the restaurant, asks about the baby and tells us about his own kids, who are in high school. When we're finished, he brings a bowl of ice cream, which we didn't order, smiling that it's "gelato per la mamma."

It's delicious, and between spoonfuls of chocolate and banana heaven, I feed Edward, who licks his lips and hums in appreciation. After thanking Tommaso profusely, we walk back hand in hand. It's gotten dark and a little cool, and once we're home, I slip on a cardigan that belongs to Edward and is much too big. I love how it smells like him even when I'm in his arms on the sofa and can smell _him_ – his warm skin and a hint of his cologne – as I bury my nose in his neck. His arms are around me as he lifts up my chin and kisses me.

Warm, warm lips. Soft and plump and… I think the moan I just heard was mine.

_Ungh._

"Yes?" Edward chuckles, his hot breath washing over my mouth.

I grab him by the back of his neck and pull at his lips with mine. He tastes sweet and familiar, and it's wet and soft and ripe with longing.

"Baby, you're…"

His words drown in another long kiss.

My heart is beating heavily by now, my fingers entangling in his hair. Edward nibbles a little path from my jaw line to my neck, finishing at that tender spot under my ear.

I sigh, both because it feels so good and because I need to go to the bathroom… _again._

Edward merely smiles when I tell him so, and squeezes my butt.

When I return, he has lit some candles, and a sexy jazz tune is floating in the air. I rejoin him on the sofa, settling with my back against his chest. His fingers meet on my big belly, and Lizzie greets him with a nudge.

"Do you need to get up frightfully early tomorrow?" I ask.

"No. My shift starts at nine."

"Good." Turning my head, I kiss his chin, which is stubbly. Edward presses his forehead against mine.

"I love you," he murmurs.

"I love you too."

We smile, and I sink back against his body. His hands travel up my arms and settle on my shoulders, massaging me lightly. I close my eyes and moan happily.

"Lean forward," he says after a few minutes. He places a couple of pillows against the armrest and helps me until I'm propped up comfortably, my back to him. He gently pulls the cardigan down my arms and slips his hands under my shirt. He continues his massage.

"This," I sigh happily, "is so good. Soooo good…"

I begin to relax completely under Edward's very capable hands as he massages my neck and shoulders. His touch is incredible, healing and warm and wonderful.

"Good?"

He kneads my tender muscles, going lower until he reaches the small of my back, his thumbs applying gentle pressure. I groan with relief, pressing my face into the pillow that supports my body.

"Don't stop," I yammer.

"Baby." Edward puts a firm kiss on the place where my back meets my butt. "I'll stop when you tell me, okay?"

"Ugh," I moan again. "So _good_."

Edward chuckles softly, his hands kneading my strained muscles in the most perfect way. I relax completely, butter under his touch. He doesn't stop, and only when there's the sensation of his soft lips against my cheek do I notice that I dozed off.

"Sorry," I mumble.

"No offense taken," Edward whispers against my neck. I realize that we have moved, Edward having pulled me to him, and I am lying with my back to his chest.

His lips brush over my ear.

"How d'you feel?"

"Sleepy," I chuckle. "And wonderful." I grab his hand and place a kiss on his thumb. "Love you," I murmur.

"Love you too." His warm whisper gives me goose bumps, and I shudder. My nipples harden.

"Should we go to bed?" I whisper.

"Yes." He places a kiss on my neck and helps me up.

Fifteen minutes later, we're in bed, snuggled up to each other in exactly the same position in which we ended up on the sofa, Edward's chest pressed against my back, but not quite ready to go to sleep. Edward is peppering my shoulder with kisses, and his left hand is cupping my breast.

"Edward…"

"Hmm?"

"Are you tired?" I giggle mischievously.

"No." He bites my neck softly. "No, I'm not. I'm a bit… "

"A bit?" I question, my hand roaming up his thigh until it finds his butt.

"A bit horny…" As if to underline his words, he lightly presses his hips against me, making me feel his erection.

"Mmm," I sigh. "Dr. Cullen, I must say that this feels quite impressive…"

My hand travels to his front and I give his package a gentle squeeze. Edward groans happily and licks over the rim of my ear.

Edward's fingers run over my belly, caressing both our daughter and me.

"So sweet," he whispers. She responds with a gentle kick.

I wriggle my hand between us and slip it into his pajama pants. He is quite hard, and he sighs wantonly when I wrap my fingers around him, causing him to buck into my hand. His skin is so soft, and so hot, and he gets harder as I massage him.

"God, Bella…" His hand slips between my legs, gently teasing me.

It feels so good, and I'm so ready. We both get riled up in record time, and Edward's pants land at the end of our bed. We moan in unison when he slides into me.

"Oh, Edward…"

I grab his fingers and lace them with mine as he moves slowly, his voice muffled by my hair as he murmurs tender words.

"You feel so good… so soft… I love you… I never want to be anywhere else again…"

"God, darling… Please, please…" I'm panting.

"What?" He sucks on my neck, then licks over the spot.

"Faster, Edward… Please… faster…"

He growls softly and speeds up. I've gotten accustomed to the changes the pregnancy has imposed on my body, but I'll never get used to how quickly it responds. I'm already close, and I can feel my orgasm roll over me like a huge tidal wave. I'm constricting all over, my toes curling, a small cry leaving my lungs as I bite Edward's forearm.

I'm still trembling with the aftermath, shaking and panting, when Edward's sounds become more desperate, and he comes with a long, low moan.

He stills, our sweaty bodies clinging to each other. My uterus is still tightening, and it's slightly more uncomfortable than the usual Braxton-Hicks contractions.

I guess Edward notices that I am tense, for he sweeps my hair away from my face and kisses me softly.

"Are you okay?"

I nod, taking a deep breath. It's getting better, and I turn around to face him. He looks adorably disheveled, green eyes shining with pleasure and fulfillment.

I kiss his plump lips and place my face on his chest once he has turned to his back. He wraps his arms around me, one hand resting on my belly. We're a warm, close ball of wholeness.

Edward kisses the top of my head, and I sigh contentedly.

"Are you seeing Katie tomorrow?" he asks softly, his voice deep and laced with sleep.

"Mmm-hmm…" I move my fingertips in tiny brushes over his chest. His hair tickles me, and I smile sleepily.

"When?" He yawns.

"At two…" Sleep is crawling into my system, making me slow and garbled.

"I'll try and join you," he mumbles, but I don't get the rest because I'm falling, falling into cotton-heavy clouds of darkness.

**EDWARD**

The next morning passes just like every other one. I realize that I won't be able to join Bella for her appointment with Katie, and send her a text message. I hate that I can't be with her, but I know that Ben will have to step in for me soon enough, so I don't want to leave him in the lurch already.

We meet at five p.m. to discuss a patients' progress, and we're only ten minutes into our talk when Demetri joins us in my office.

Ben looks just as surprised as I do when Demetri says, "Gentlemen, I need to inform you of a change. It only affects you partially, but still." He scratches his black beard, which is streaked with white.

"Dr. Trackwell," he starts, and my stomach sinks at the mention of her name, "has taken a leave of absence. Her husband just informed me of the fact, saying that personal reasons were making this necessary."

Ben's mouth hangs open while I rub my left eye.

"I guess it's not such a big surprise to you, Edward," Demetri adds. "For the time being, Dr. Kachiri will fill in for her."

His pager goes off then, and he leaves us. Ben still looks confused.

"What the heck? You knew about this?"

"No." I clear my throat. On the one hand, I'm glad I didn't tell Ben everything, because it appears that the wicked witch has been taken out of the game. On the other hand, he's my partner, and I should have taken him into my confidence.

I decide on a compromise, because if there's one thing I have learned, it's that a wise compromise can save your day.

"There have been difficulties with Victoria," I say, thinking that I'm putting it very mildly. "She made some… insinuations, and generally tried to make my life… difficult." I take a sip from my can of Snapple. "Well, it's…"

"Difficult?" Ben prompts.

I smile. I guess I'm not being very eloquent.

"I'm sorry, Ben," I say honestly. "I don't believe it's my place to tell you everything about it. Just let me say that I'm rather relieved to be working with Dr. Kachiri in the future."

"She's great," Ben confirms. "And, to be perfectly honest, I'm not too sad to do without Victoria for the time being."

We look at each other, and for a second I get the feeling that Ben might have his own story to tell about Victoria Trackwell.

I am so fucking relieved. It's like a weight has finally been lifted from my chest.

Ben and I return to our original subject, and the rest of the day passes swiftly. When I step out into the parking lot, the sun is setting, a slight drizzle of rain meeting my face and my bare arms.

I make a stop at Gino's Deli on my way home, wanting to surprise Bella with her favorite antipasti. I leave the shop with three enormous bags.

She is waiting for me in the kitchen, wearing a grey T-shirt that shows off her prominent bellybutton, and black leggings. She's barefoot, and I have to laugh as I realize that she is, literally, barefoot and pregnant, in the kitchen.

Bella raises her eyebrows until they're swallowed by her bangs, and I tell her about my silly thoughts. She giggles and gently slaps my butt, telling me to prepare our food and not to forget about cleaning the cat litter.

I tell her the news over dinner, and Bella is just as relieved as I am. She loads the dishwasher when we're through and I clean Cedric's box. My mom calls and I tell her the outcome of the whole incident from two days ago. I also talk to Dad, who tells me that I did exactly the right thing. He also says something about being patient with Bella, and pregnant women not always being fully accountable for their actions.

He's proven right later that evening, when I am preparing for bed and, wondering about Bella, walk in on her in the nursery, where she is rearranging the contents of the shelves and checking every single hat, blanket, and sock.

Remembering Dad's words, I merely kiss her and tell her not to stay up too late. She joins me after I've shut my book and taken off my glasses, ready to dim the lights.

We get comfortable in each other's arms like we always do, and it's warm and beautiful.

Life seems pretty perfect. I have the most wonderful woman in the world in my arms, our daughter will be with us in less than four weeks, and the danger that had been looming over us has been taken out of the game.

I kiss Bella's temple, basking in her familiar scent of her petal-soft skin.

"Sweet dreams, my love," I whisper, and her low and even breathing tells me that she's already asleep.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoOoo**

**Thank you for reading. **

**Big hugs to you all!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	40. Weren't We Fools

**A/N:**

**Thanks, as always, to my wonderful and incomparable beta, dellaterra.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

Chapter 40: **Weren't We Fools**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**EDWARD**

"Bunlove," I say, "is not a word."

"It is," Bella protests. "This," she says, pointing at her stomach, "is a bun in my oven. And you love it. It's bunlove."

"Bella." I say, trying to hide my smile.

"Edward," she mimics me.

I pout and brood over my eight letters. She always screws me over at Scrabble.

"Edward?"

"Sorry. Yes. Okay."

I put my letters on the board.

"You're kidding me, right?"

Bella is smiling, expecting a very silly reply from me. And I give it to her.

"My word," I explain, "_peening_, describes your yearning for my cock."

"_Peening_?"

"Yes."

"Okay, Dr. Cullen, can you give me a description of that condition?"

"Um… sure."

Bella grins.

We're spending a rainy Sunday afternoon at home. A week has passed since the baby shower, and the huge weight has finally been lifted from my shoulders.

Bella's sitting on the floor, leaning against the sofa with her legs crossed, her left hand massaging her belly. I move closer to her and put a soft kiss on her neck.

"Often, you won't even realize that you're prone to _peening_," I whisper against her skin, "because it starts slowly, and can take you by surprise."

"Does it?"

"Mmm-hmm." My lips travel to her ear. I run the tip of my tongue over it, and Bella sighs.

"Once your body is infected," I murmur throatily, "it will never be able to return to normal."

I suck on the sensitive skin behind her earlobe, and Bella moans softly.

"Is there a cure for it?" she murmurs, sighing joyfully when I touch her breast through the thin cotton of her dress.

"There are ways to alleviate it…" I brush my thumb over her nipple, and she hisses happily.

"How, Dr. Cullen?"

"Manual stimulation…" I mumble against her neck.

Bella sighs, but it's not a happy sigh this time. I pull back to look at her.

"I'm sorry," she mutters. "I just… My back hurts, and, I don't know, I feel a bit sick."

"Do you want to lie down for a moment?"

"Yeah, I think so." She's starting to scramble up from the floor, and I swiftly move to help her.

Once she is lying on the sofa with her head in my lap, I massage her scalp and murmur to her until her eyes droop. She's so beautiful, her hand cradling her belly, her cheeks slightly pink, her lips pouty.

Our baby might decide to join us any time now, and I have this enormous urge to protect her at all times. Unfortunately, this is rather unrealistic. After all, I need to work a few hours every day, like ten or twelve.

She twitches slightly, and makes a little grumbling sound. Maybe Lizzie kicked her? I slide my hand to her belly, and indeed, our daughter is very active, making me wonder what part of her body is poking me. A foot? An elbow?

The rest of the day passes quietly. We have dinner and watch a movie. We go to bed early, and I read half a chapter of _The House at Pooh Corner _to Bella's tummy. When I'm through, our baby is moving eagerly, and Bella has fallen asleep.

With Bella in my arms, I drowse off soon too. All is well in my world.

When the alarm wakes me, the space beside me is empty.

There's no sound from the bathroom, so I guess Bella must be downstairs. I don't think I've ever gotten out of bed this quickly. I'm downstairs in under twenty seconds, my eyes sweeping the space for –

Bella. Who is sleeping peacefully on the sofa, Cedric draped over her calves. She sometimes wanders around the apartment when she can't sleep, and more often than not ends up watching reruns of _Cheers,_ _Seinfeld_ or_ That Seventies Show_.

Leaning against the doorframe, I smile sleepily and watch her for a few moments before I return back upstairs to shower.

My morning is stressful to say the least, but I manage to send Bella a message at around eleven.

_**Hey, sleepyhead. Are you two sweeties good?**_

_We are. Just had breakfast. Thanks for the juice…_

I had squeezed some oranges so she'd have fresh juice, and I guess she liked it.

_**You are very welcome, Mrs. Cullen. Call me whenever, okay? I love you.**_

_I love you too, and I think Lizzie does as well, because she's having a ball with the orange juice._

I laugh a little, and have to tear myself away when a knock sounds on my door.

"Come in," I call, and Ben enters the room. We go through endless piles of paperwork and keep discussing work during our lunch break. I text Bella again, and she replies that she's at the market.

_Our daughter is supposed to grow up with homemade food, right?_

If I could have my way, my thirty-seven-weeks pregnant wife wouldn't set a foot outside the apartment, but I realize that the idea is rather… overprotective.

_Neurotic? Neanderthal?_

_**Take care**_, I reply_**, I love you two.**_

Ben leaves to prepare for surgery, and I visit one of my favorite patients, a very old lady who received an artificial heart valve a few days ago. She's recuperating well, and I chat and innocently flirt with her before I make my way back to my office, where more paperwork is waiting for me.

Maybe I should transfer it to my laptop and do it at home? I check my watch; it's shortly after three. I decide to stay in for another two hours and then go home and surprise Bella. With my presence and strawberry ice cream from Milly's.

I grin goofily at the thought when I open my office door.

With a strange sort of sixth sense, I know that something is wrong before I even see her. She's kneeling in front of my desk, trying to open one of the drawers with a screwdriver, her trademark red hair a fiery halo around her head.

**BELLA**

I'm storing the groceries in the fridge, chatting with Sue on the phone. She has been a wonderful help during the past weeks, listening to my fears and worries, bearing my crankiness and mood swings. Having two children of her own, she understands me. Edward understands me too, of course, and he couldn't be more loving or more patient, but… well, Sue actually went through this. The back pain and the clumsiness, the swollen ankles and the sudden cravings. She never fails to humor me.

She and Dad will fly in once our daughter is with us, and she tells me, with no small amount of amusement, how completely excited Charlie is at the prospect of meeting his granddaughter, how he is going overboard buying all sorts of gifts for her. I tell her that, last night, Edward brought a pink cashmere blanket and a _Chopin for Babies_ CD back home.

We talk for almost an hour, and I am smiling when we finish the call. I can't wait to see her and Dad. I putter about for a bit, setting things right in cupboards, hanging pictures straighter, and sorting through our DVDs. I water the flowers on the terrace, using the small watering can Edward bought for me. It's a bit annoying, because it holds no more than three quarts of water, so I have to go inside and fetch fresh water all the time, but it's Edward's way of making sure that I don't carry anything too heavy. When I'm through, I eat an apple.

Hmm. What to do with the rest of the day?

**EDWARD**

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

Her head whips up, crazed eyes staring into mine.

I swiftly cross the room and Victoria scrambles up from her crouching position. My eyes immediately catch a small bag that she is trying to hide behind her back. I grab her arm and force it forward.

"Let me go," she protests.

I stare down at the plastic bag in her hand. It's filled with white powder. It's not the first time I've seen coke, having been married to a user.

This is like a bad dream.

My heart is pounding in my chest.

She was going to put this in my desk.

"I'm going to scream," she hisses. "And no matter what you say, they will believe me!"

"This bag has your fucking fingerprints all over it," I reply, trying to think of the right thing to do. Should_ I_ scream?

She's trying to struggle out of my grip, but I don't let go. With one hand, I fumble for my cell phone, but it gives her an advantage. Her cold fingers come to my neck, pressing down on my throat.

I shove her against the shelf, simultaneously trying to free myself from her grip and get my phone. I'm trying to breathe, coughing wildly. She never lets go for one second.

I wonder where the packet with the coke is – does she still have it in her hand?

"Fuck," I spit, "let go of me, Victoria!"

To my surprise, she does, and I have to take several deep breaths to pull some oxygen in my lungs.

"Please help me, Edward," Victoria mumbles. Her blue eyes are watery and unfocused, her hair a tangled mess. "Help me…" She says it like someone dying – or someone close to freaking out completely.

I can't really think clearly, so I do the only thing I can think of: I hug her loosely and murmur some soothing words.

Fuck, I need to call someone. There's no telling what she will do next, and she really is unpredictable.

"Victoria," I say, "would you like me to call James?"

"No!" She looks up at me with huge eyes. "He mustn't know I'm here!"

"Did you come here from… from a clinic?" I say.

"Shh…" She puts her finger in front of her lips. "They can't know, or I'll lose my job!"

"Why don't you sit down," I suggest, "and have a glass of water, and we'll talk about everything?"

"No," she whispers confidentially, and at the same time, I can feel her fumbling with my lab coat.

She's trying to deposit the coke in my pocket.

I grab her wrist and try to get a hold of her, but she's wiggling like a worm.

"Let me fucking go! Let me go, you son of a bitch!"

And with that, she releases a shit-storm of swear words upon me, hitting my chest, my arms, my shoulders, while I try to stop her.

"You think you're too good for me, you stupid dickhead? What makes you think so, huh? Just because you have that slut at home, having your baby? That fucking bitch, you think she's better than I am?"

"Victoria!" I yell in the vain hope to wake her from her spell. Truly, it's a bit like _The Exorcist._

I grab her shoulders and press her against the bookshelf.

"Yes, Edward. Is that how you want it? Admit it, admit it, you always wanted to fuck me, and not like you do it with the little wifey, that bitch. I bet she doesn't let you near her kootch now that she's a fat cow, but I could give you…"

Letting go of her hands was an idiotic move on my part because now she's trying to touch me. With an ungentle move, I grab her wrists once more.

"Stop this," I hiss, and she laughs maniacally.

"Kiss me," she demands.

I try to hold her hands with one of mine and fumble for the phone behind my back. I manage to get it and try to press the button that will connect me with the front desk – and, ultimately, with Security.

**BELLA**

I wander back to the nursery. I love to spend time in here. I can't wait until Lizzie is here.

Sitting down in the glider, I place Edward's old Winnie the Pooh on my knee. It's the cutest toy, its fur worn thin from years of being loved. Esme sent me a photo the other day that she found in some drawer. It's of a three-year-old Edward, sitting on the carpet of his room, holding the teddy bear. He had made him a white coat of napkins, apparently imitating his dad's work outfit. The bear also had a cardboard sign around his neck, scribbled with clumsy letters that said DoCteR edWad BeaR_._ Esme suspected that Alice had been doing the writing, while Edward of course claims that it was himself.

Edward is smiling, his small teeth showing, his green eyes every bit as vibrant as they are today.

I had the picture blown up and it now has a prominent place above the changing table.

My belly tightens and releases, and it hurts a little. It's happening all the time now, and every time it does, I think it might be the real thing, but the pain never gets to feel like contractions. Seventeen days, I tell myself. Seventeen days, if she sticks to the plan.

Stroking my round belly I talk to Lizzie, nonsensical words, but I know she recognizes my voice, just like she recognizes Edward's.

Mmm… Edward. Also known as the best husband mankind has ever seen. _My_ husband. _My _Edward. Just like me, he's impatient to meet our little girl. Now that the trouble with Victoria is out of the way, he is so much more relaxed. I resented him only for a day or two for not telling me about his worries. I get it that he didn't want to burden me. We talked, and I can understand his point of view. Between my problems earlier in the pregnancy, the almost fainting spell and my continual fears that my chronic depression might make a reappearance after the birth, I can see how he wanted to protect me. I also made him see that it wasn't good to exclude me, especially since I noticed that something was wrong anyway.

"What do you think?" I ask my belly. "Do you want to go and surprise Daddy?"

Always reacting on cue, Lizzie gives my bladder a not-so-gentle kick.

"Okay, Miss Cullen," I smile. "I'll take that as a yes."

And so I struggle out of the glider and get ready for a trip to Lenox Hill.

**EDWARD**

"Oh no you don't."

Shit. She noticed.

The next thing happens so quickly I only realize that she's been kicking me in the groin when I'm bending over, yelling in pain. For several long seconds, I can't think, white-hot pain searing through my nether regions, leaving me panting.

I manage to look up when I hear something crash against the wall. It's the telephone, lying shattered in a dozen pieces by the foot of the recliner. It also took the picture that was hanging above with it.

Slowly, I try to stand, biting my lip to suppress the horrible pain. It's when I feel something cool at my neck that I look up.

**BELLA**

Gosh, I wonder if this was such a good idea. It's hot outside, and I had the cabbie stop on Park Avenue. I figured I could walk a few blocks, and that the exercise would do me good.

Yeah, right.

My back hurts, my feet are swollen, trying to break the confines of my sandals, and my belly is hard.

I bet that Edward won't even have time, and he'll probably put me right into the next cab back. Hell, he's probably performing surgery.

Silly Bella. I should just have called beforehand.

I rub my stomach as I greet Jen at the front desk. She smiles and gushes about my large belly, asking how I am and when my due date is. We chat a little, and I ask about Edward.

"Actually, he should be in his office," she says. "He'll be ecstatic to see you!"

I thank her and make my way down the hospital corridor. I'll never get used to the smell, but Edward tells me he doesn't even notice it anymore. He even said that it smelled a bit like home when we returned from our honeymoon, which started a full-fledged pillow fight until he took it back. I smile at the memory.

I can hear the commotion inside Edward's office when I'm a few feet from the door.

What the hell?

Is he fighting with someone? A coworker? Ben? A patient?

Hesitating, I stand in front of his door, which is in one of the quieter corners of his unit. For a second, it's silent, but then I hear him howl in pain before something shatters against a wall.

Maybe it is because I'm pregnant and have developed a new sixth sense, or maybe it's just pure common sense. I dig into my purse for my cell phone, which I never switched off when I entered the hospital – shame on me – and dial.

**EDWARD**

"Well, I guess now you won't be able to get your little whore pregnant again," Victoria whispers in my ear, her voice full of spite.

"Wha – what do you _want_?" I wheeze, trying to block out the still-massive pain that throbs through my private parts.

The antique letter knife is placed directly above my carotid artery. If she stabs now, I'll bleed out pretty quickly.

"You wouldn't understand, Edward," she tells me in a frighteningly serene voice. "I tried to make you understand all the time that this girl isn't good enough for you."

"What? But you didn't… You…" It's hard to think, let alone think clearly, with my injured genitals and the letter opener at my neck.

"You're happily married, aren't you, Victoria?"

"Fuck that silly dicksucker," she replies.

She's standing right next to me, the weapon placed at my artery.

I remember the day Aro gave me that letter opener, telling me a long story about how he'd acquired it during an auction at Christie's. It's from the nineteen-twenties, decorated with lavish…

"But I thought you wanted him in Ben's shoes?"

"Ben's shoes?" She snorts. "Ben who?"

Why does everything come back to bite you in the ass?

Here I am once again, arguing with a mentally disturbed woman, just like I did hundreds of times with Tanya. While the one woman who is the sanest person there is – my beloved Bella – always fears that she might be crazy.

How unlikely life is.

**BELLA**

Without any further preamble, I push the door open.

And almost throw up at the sight before me.

Edward, pale as a sheet, is being held against the bookshelf by Victoria, who holds something to his neck. It glistens in the sunlight that gleams in between the curtains.

Both of them look up at me, startled. Edward's face is overtaken with panic.

"Bella," he gets out, his voice raw and hoarse. He's clearly in pain, and I quickly run my eyes over his body for any obvious injuries. "Get out of here!"

"What –"

I recognize the object she has placed against his neck. It's that letter opener his uncle Aro gave him when he finished his internship. He showed it to me once, stating how much it meant to him. It's not particularly sharp, but I can only imagine what damage it might do in the hands of a psychotic who knows exactly where to… _stab._

It's only been a minute since I made the call. It might take another until anything happens. I might need to take action sooner.

**EDWARD**

_No!_

_No, no, no!_

Bella looks more shocked than I've ever seen her, and totally vulnerable at the same time. Her eyes are wide open as she takes in the picture in front of her. She's cradling her belly in an unconscious gesture of protectiveness.

She can't be here. There's no telling what Victoria might do, seeing that her actions have no rhyme or reason any longer.

"Bella," I cough. "Get out of here!"

But she doesn't do anything of the sort.

She's thinking hard, biting her lower lip.

"Bella," I beg, "please go away, Get help."

Immediately, the pressure at my carotid artery increases.

"No," Victoria snarls. "She should watch."

I don't dare to move an inch, always aware of the cool threat to my life.

The pain in my groin has receded to a dull throbbing that I don't even really notice anymore.

"Victoria," Bella says with a timid, hopeful smile. "I was hoping to see you here."

"What the –" I gasp, but Bella's eyes catch mine, and for the fraction of a second, there is this connection between us and I trust her, literally, with my life.

**BELLA**

_Okay, you're an actress, Swan. Now man up._

And pray.

"I was hoping to see you," I simper, "because, you know, I think that I want to do it your way."

I can see Edward's eyes get dark as he tries to swallow.

"Yeah," I continue. "You really got to me, isn't that right, Edward?"

I beseech him with my eyes to play along.

"Uh, yeah," he nods.

And I can tell that Victoria is with me, because her grasp on Edward lessens just the tiniest bit.

"And, Victoria…" I grab my belly with both hands and let out a groan. "I think I'm going into labor… _Ouch, fuck_!"

**EDWARD**

_Oh my God, oh my God._

_No._

_No, no, no. Not like this. Not now_!

The pressure at my artery lessens as Victoria turns toward Bella, who is bending over in pain, trying to catch her breath.

"Bella, baby," I cry out, trying to free myself from those ice-cold hands, but once Victoria realizes what I'm doing, she's back to me.

"Victoria," Bella shouts, "_please!"_

Victoria lets go of me slightly, and I echo Bella's words.

"Please! Help her!"

Again, the pressure of the weapon against my neck releases. Victoria takes a tentative step in Bella's direction.

"You need to take deep breaths," she says, slowly letting go of me while she moves toward Bella, who is panting and mewling in pain.

I'm preparing to lunge at Victoria from behind. I will grab her shoulders and pull her back with me, and then I will overwhelm her by…

_And then, all hell breaks loose._

Four uniformed gentlemen, each the size of Emmett, break into the room and get hold of Victoria.

She struggles and screams like the madwoman she is, and I limp toward Bella.

"Baby… Are you okay?"

**BELLA**

I sternly watch the security guys do their job.

Dr. Sulpicia steps in and once the techs have wheeled in a bed, and have forced Victoria to lie down, prepares a needle for her arm. Victoria screams and tries to fight, but between the four Emmetts, she hasn't much of a chance.

Edward's hand is guarding his bits.

Fuck.

What the _fuck_?

That madwoman hurt him _there_?

Unthinking, I lunge at her.

"_Bella!"_

"?"

My hands are almost close to her throat, but one of the four Emmetts pulls me off her.

"Bella." Sweet, warm breath.

"No, let me –" I struggle.

"Bella. Baby." He coughs. "Please."

Warm, strong arms wrapping around me. Warm breath. Warm lips.

"No!"

**EDWARD**

What the hell?

"Bella," I murmur, ignoring the pain between my legs. Ignoring the pain in my throat.

"Bella, baby, you're in labor. We need to get you to – "

At that, she lunges at Victoria.

One of the big men moves to pull her off, but I manage to securely wrap Bella in my arms.

Phew.

My Bella.

I walk us backward in the direction of my desk. Our own security shields us like a cloak. We are together. One. Connected.

Loved.

"Bella?"

"Oh my God." She's sobbing, slowly turning around in my arms.

Victoria is finally being wheeled out of my office.

"Shh," I murmur into Bella's hair. "Shh… I'm going to call Dr. Kachiri, and Katie, and then we'll get you into a nice, comfy room and –

"Room?"

Deep brown eyes look at me as if I'd grown a second head.

"How do you feel, love? Can you tell how far apart the contractions are?"

She smiles, and my heart flutters happily. Standing on her tiptoes, she places a long, warm kiss on my lips.

"I'm not in labor, Edward," she murmurs. "I just figured this was the best way to get her away from you and that letter opener. Which, by the way," she pecks my lips with anther soft kiss, "we will take home and transfer to the safe."

**BELLA**

"Here," I hand Edward another towel-wrapped ice pack which he places inside his pajama pants. "Does it still hurt?"

"No, it's okay," he murmurs, sliding his arm around my body to make me sit next to him on the sofa. He kisses the side of my belly. "You should get an Oscar for that performance, do you know that?"

He places another sweet kiss on our baby.

"Hey." Despite the exhaustion, his green eyes sparkle.

"Hey."

"That was quite a day, huh?"

"You can say that again."

After we got home, I made Edward lie down on the sofa and cool his package while we told each other our respective experiences of the day. My heart still breaks out into a panicky gallop each time I imagine what might have happened. Victoria could have killed him. Given her dimension of crazy, she really might have. She might have made him impotent. When Edward lay down and iced his goods, he murmured something to that effect. Well, it was along the lines of, "Lucky I already knocked you up."

I comb my fingers through his hair, lightly massaging his scalp. He sighs.

I think both Edward and I are trying not to think too deeply about what happened.

I don't think I've ever been as scared as I was during those short minutes. It was so surreal, and I felt like I was operating on a different level. I didn't allow myself to go into the emotion, instinctively taking action.

Edward takes my hand and braids his fingers with mine, looking up at me with large eyes.

"You were so brave, baby."

"So were you." I try to bend down and kiss him, but quickly realize that my belly renders it impossible.

Edward smiles sweetly and sits up, wincing only slightly.

"Are you sure you shouldn't see a doctor?"

"I am a doctor," he grins. He places a soft kiss on my lips. "I'm okay, I promise. I understand that you're worried about your favorite toy being out of commission…" He smirks cockily. Oh well, maybe that's not the most fortunate choice of word.

I pinch his side.

"Conceited man," I smile against his mouth, and we sink into another long kiss.

It isn't until the next day that Edward receives a call from James: Victoria is currently in a private clinic back in Pennsylvania, and will probably stay there for quite some time. It's a deep relief.

That night, we have dinner with Edward's – with _our_ – family at the Russian Tearoom. Alice initiated it, stating that we won't have time for such glamorous outings once Lizzie is with us. She's also trying to make us forget that the baby shower was such a catastrophe. It's a beautiful evening, despite my heartburn.

Everyone is laughing and chatting easily, and I've never seen Carlisle and Edward so relaxed with each other. Alice hands me the prettiest tiny dress for our daughter. Esme has tears in her eyes despite our assurances that we are both very well. And Emmett –well Emmett tries to give me helpful advice for the birth while Rose rolls her eyes in disbelief.

When Edward and I get home, we cuddle up in bed. No one has ever made me feel the way Edward does. Loved, cherished, and utterly secure. I know that we will only be getting stronger through whatever obstacles life chooses to throw our way.

"Yes," Edward whispers in my ear after I've told him as much. "We're meant, my love. For each other. Forever."

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Dear readers,**

**Thank you once again for reading. **

**Slowly, our Bella and Edward's journey is coming to an end. I wish I could write about these two forever, but every story needs to be finished, however hard it is to let the beloved heroes go.**

**But not quite yet. There will be three more chapters and an epilogue, so please stay with me all the way. **

**Thank you for all the wonderful support you've given me – it means incredibly much to me, and I cherish every single review!**

**Until next time,**

**Your **

**harperpitt**


	41. Wake Up and Dream

**A/N:**

**Thank you to my marvelous beta dellaterra. I can never thank you enough.**

**Thank you to MDtwiwiriter for pre-reading and making great suggestions!**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**_Dun dun dun_… here comes the chapter you've been waiting for…**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 41:** Wake Up and Dream**

**EDWARD**

I am woken by Bella's tossing and turning. Still half asleep, I listen to her sighing, changing position once again.

I move closer to her and wrap my arm around her. She makes a grouchy, unhappy sound.

"You okay, baby?"

"My back hurts. Really badly."

I kiss the back of her neck, lifting her hair over her shoulder.

"Do you want me to get you a hot water bottle?"

"No…" She sighs again. "I'm hot as it is."

She's right; temperatures have been over eighty degrees for the last few days, and since she's like a little oven anyway, my question was probably stupid.

I gently stroke her swollen belly, being rewarded with a few kicks. Real hard kicks. Fuck, and she has to bear this all the time!

"Ouch…"

Bella turns to her back, sighing unhappily.

I kiss her temple.

"It hurts. It fucking hurts."

"Where does it hurt?"

"Low in my back. And a little at the sides of my stomach, too…"

"Do you think it's Braxton Hicks?"

"Yeah, I, ugh, guess so."

She turns around again, so she's facing me. Even in her disheveled, sweaty state, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I slide my arm over her belly so my hand is touching the small of her back, and I apply gentle pressure, massaging her with my knuckles.

"Oh, that's good…"

She closes her eyes, and I can see and feel her relax, so I continue my movements, watching her face as it becomes tranquil. Bella sighs and hums, and the baby stops kicking, her movements slowing.

I can sense Bella giving in to sleep deprivation as I massage her back softly and slowly until I see her face relax completely, her breath becoming low and steady. I know I'm smiling like a goofball. Nothing could make me any happier than this: my wife and daughter, and the anticipation of meeting our little pea.

When I return home later that day, Bella is in the kitchen, absent-mindedly stroking her belly, reading something on her laptop.

"Hey!" Her smile is huge and her eyes are dancing as she greets me.

"Hey." I swiftly cross the distance between us and kiss her. "My little lamb. How are you? And Lizzie?"

"Good," she smiles back. "We went to the market and got carrots and potatoes, and salad." She grins. "Our daughter is supposed to grow up with homemade food, right?"

"Absolutely," I smile, crouching down next to Bella, hugging her body, touching and kissing her belly… our baby.

"Did you eat?"

"Yeah, I had… _ow_…"

Bella groans softly, but not in the good way.

"What is it?"

She takes a deep breath before she answers me.

"It's Braxton Hicks… I think… Or maybe it's –"

"What does the pain feel like?"

"Like a really bad period pain…" She sighs. "During which someone was pushing a knife into my lower back…" She cringes slightly. "Oh, fuck."

"Bella. Baby…"

"Oh, fuck."

This time, she's bending forward with her arms around her belly.

"Ouch…"

"Bella." My arms are around her, and I watch her worriedly.

"Do you think this is it?"

"I don't know," she replies. "It's better now." She guides my hand to her swollen tummy. It's quiet in there, but her belly feels different, harder.

"Maybe you should lie down a bit," I say. "Just relax, you know…"

**BELLA**

Edward is incredibly sweet, but also very nervous. We're lying on the sofa, listening to Mozart, and it's very peaceful. We both know that it makes no sense to go to the hospital before my contractions are closer together. We walk around from time to time, Edward gently supporting me while Cedric runs around like crazy, clearly alerted that something is going on.

Because this is it.

"Are you okay?" Edward murmurs into my hair, helping me sit down again.

"Yes. It feels tight, you know, and when it hurts, it's like a very bad period pain, but worse. It's my back that hurts the most… Ugh."

I squeeze his hand. "Like now. _Fuck."_

"Bella…"

"It's… ugh."

Another wave of pain hits me.

"Baby…" Edward kisses my temple, and then checks his watch. "Fifteen minutes."

Grabbing his hand, I put it on my swollen belly.

"Help me breathe, okay?"

"Okay."

He wraps his arms around me – around us – us, and breathes with me. In and out. In and out.

A couple of seconds later, the pain subsides, and I relax into Edward's arms.

"Bella… I want to help you…"

He sounds so desperate.

"But you do." I kiss him. "You do."

**EDWARD**

It's shortly after ten p.m., and I feel so helpless. I've seen lots of women in labor, of course I have. But that was different!

"Bella," I murmur against her temple. She has dozed off, her face almost relaxed.

Oh God, how will I be able to help her?

I watch her sleep. She's so beautiful, even with strands of hair sticking to her forehead, and her eyelids swollen, and her cheeks pink. I touch her; she's very warm.

God, oh God, there will probably be hours and hours of labor ahead. What can I do?

Following a sudden inspiration, I fumble for my cell phone.

_How do I help my wife deliver a child? _

I press send, and even though I don't expect him to be awake, Emmett answers within two minutes.

_Do whatever she wants. Tell her she's beautiful. Don't argue. Get her whatever she wants. Tell her she's beautiful. Pray. Good luck, bro. When she wants ice, get her ice. Tell her she's beautiful._

Bella stirs by my side.

"Edward?"

"Uh, yes?"

I shut down the phone.

"It hurts."

"I know, baby. Can I get you anything?"

"You called Seth, right? So he can feed Cedric?"

"Of course I did."

"And he –" She grabs my hand, fiercely.

"Bella, baby, are you okay?"

"Did you alert Katie?"

"Yes, of course."

"Good. Can you…"

I help her get up and Bella waddles to the bathroom.

**EDWARD**

The last contractions were only about ten minutes apart, and we're preparing to leave for the hospital around midnight.

"Okay, baby. Cedric's okay. I called Seth – Bella?"

_Where is she?_

"Bella?"

I rush back upstairs.

Bella is in the bathroom, reaching up for something in the cabinet.

"What?" I exclaim.

"The lotion," she says. "I want to take the anti-stretch-mark lotion."

"Bella! We need to go to the hospital."

She looks at me. She's completely calm, and beautiful in my frayed, twenty-year-old Nirvana t-shirt and her sweat pants.

"Edward. The contractions are every ten minutes! This might take forever."

"Um… yeah… but…"

"Can you just hand me the lotion?"

I give her the Dr. Hauschka bottle and she kisses my chin.

"I think I need to sit down for a minute."

**BELLA**

Oh, God, I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared!

For the time being, the pain is gone, but each time it returns, it's stronger than the one before.

Edward tries everything to make things easier for me, but the fact is that he can't take the pain away. He's spooning me on the sofa, lightly massaging my neck when another wave of pain hits me, and this time, it's different.

**EDWARD**

"_Fuck._ Fuck. Fuck. _Edward_."

Suddenly, her hands are not so gentle anymore, digging into my thighs.

Okay, I guess this is IT.

I jump up and start collecting the things we'll need: Bella's bag, the keys for the car, my phone. I'm pouring Cedric a good amount of food into his bowl in the kitchen when I hear her.

"Edward?"

Bella is eying me from the door, hands on her belly, her face drawn.

"Edward, I think it would be cool if you hurried up a little."

"Sure, I'm –"

"I think my water just broke."

**BELLA**

We're walking down the hospital hallway, Edward's arm wrapped around me.

Whoever invented this concept of childbirth… Well, he should… whatever it is they have in hell.

"Edward."

"Yes, love?"

"Are we there yet?"

I'm so stupid, trying to joke. It's half past two, and I went into labor around eight. This will probably take much longer. I'm already exhausted.

His face is tense and he's biting his lip, but he tries to smile.

"Soon, baby. Soon."

We walk back to the birthing suite, which is very, very nice. We made sure ages ago that Edward would be able to spend the night, and there is a bed big enough for both of us.

"Better now," I wheeze.

He's stroking my hair, pulling the wet strands out of my face.

"I love you," Edward tells me. "I love you. You're beautiful. You're so beautiful."

"It hurts, Edward. It hurts."

"I know." He cools my forehead with a wet cloth. "I know."

His phone beeps in the pocket of his jeans.

"Please don't tell me your office is calling," I groan, digging my fingers into his forearm.

"I called Seth," he murmurs soothingly against my temple. "Is that okay?"

"Yes," I cry. "Yes, I want to see Sethy."

**EDWARD**

I hope that Seth's presence can help her. I'm nearing the end of my tether, and we're not even close to the hard part.

Eager to welcome Seth, I run down the corridor. I realize that I must look like a madman my hair standing up on end, wearing sweats and a T-shirt, and chucks with no socks.

Several nurses that I know try to stop me, but I just mutter my excuses and keep running until I reach the front entrance, where Seth is waiting.

I'm sure that I scare Seth by the way I hug him, closer than I ever have.

"Seth," I pant. "So good to see you."

"Is she in pain? What's going on?"

Seth's black eyes bore into my head. He's Bella's friend, not mine.

Okay, I get it.

"Everything's perfect, Seth. She's in labor. Just… talk to her, okay?"

**BELLA**

Seth has arrived, and he's trying to talk me into this. Birth.

"Imagine when you have her in your arms! All cute and rosy and smelling like baby!"

"Seth," I groan. "Imagine squeezing a watermelon out of your penis!"

He cools my forehead with a damp cloth. I am sure that Edward handed it to him.

He said he wanted to call everyone and tell them about my progress, and I suppose he needed a bathroom break as well.

"Think of the cute animals in _Enchanted_! Pip! You love Pip, right?"

"Seth," I groan again, "it's cute that you're trying to compare this to… _ugh_…"

Another wave of pain hits me, and I swiftly understand that my homo boyfriend and childbirth adds up to disaster.

He's no more Pip than I am Amy Adams.

"Seth."

He looks shocked at my death-grip on his arm.

"Get. Edward. _Now_."

"Bella, babe. You'll manage this, just like you have bef-"

"_Edward._ Now."

**EDWARD**

Oh God, oh God, oh God.

Being helpless while I have to watch the person I love most on this earth suffer this much is worse than I ever imagined.

I was cocky, believing that I could support Bella. Making a birth plan seemed a great idea. I would help her manage the pain.

Yikes.

I want my mommy.

**BELLA**

It hurts. It hurts.

I don't think I'll be able to do this.

**EDWARD**

This is killing me. Seeing her in so much pain is killing me.

She's squeezing my arm so hard I want to howl in pain.

I don't.

Instead, I wipe the sweat off her brow and try to cool her down with a washcloth.

She's beautiful, even with her hair matted against her head, her eyes red and swollen. I touch her; she's hot.

"Ice," she hisses, dark eyes threatening.

"I know, love, Seth is on his way –"

Bella's nails dig into my skin once more.

"Make it stop, Edward, please make it stop!"

"It will stop in a second, love."

I'm completely helpless.

The door opens and I've never been so happy to see Katie.

"Now, Bella," she says, sitting down on the side of her bed. "How are things?"

I want to shake her and tell her to DO something, but I know it's useless.

Bella's nails dig into my arm once again, telling me there is another contraction.

"I want to kill someone," my wife grunts.

I chuckle to show my sympathy

"Preferably_ you_," she groans, effectively cutting off the blood flow in my right arm.

**BELLA**

Fuck those childbirth classes.

Breathing? Yeah, I know I can breathe.

Whoever invented this shit obviously never had to press a bowling ball out of a… _whatever._

"Edward!"

I squeeze on his hand as the pains return.

If anyone had told me that childbirth is like the seventh gate of hell, I'd never had agreed to this.

"Baby, breathe…"

"I. Am. Breathing."

If only the pain would stop for a moment, and I could think clearly.

"Edward," I howl. "Make it stop. Please make it stop!"

"This is just the transition period, love," he tells me, desperation in his voice. "You'll be better in –"

"Aaaaaahhhhhh!" I scream when another wave of pain hits me. I dig my hand into his arm, feeling him flinch.

**EDWARD**

"I can't! I can't!" I catch her hot tears with my fingers. "I can't do this, Edward!"

"Yes, you can, my love. You're so much stronger than you know, baby."

Oh my God, whoever invented this concept of women pressing seven-pounders through their vaginas should be tarred and feathered.

**BELLA**

All thoughts vanish when another contraction hits me, and it's so intense that I'm afraid I might pass out.

I am in hell, I'm sure.

Edward's words only partially reach me. I squeeze his hand. I'm sweating like I've never been sweating before.

"Make it stop, make it stop," I murmur hoarsely.

Edward dabs at my face with a cloth, but I slap his hand away, muttering curses.

Another wave of pain hits me, and I groan.

"Well," Katie's chipper voice comes through my moans.

"Bella?"

"Ugh."

"I'll have a look now at how far you are dilated, okay? "

"Aaaaaargh."

Garbled voices, but I can actually tell that my husband is discussing the state of my vagina.

"_Edward_!"

**EDWARD**

"Breathe, baby. Breathe."

Bella is sitting between my legs, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"I think I need to push… Now…"

"Yes, baby. Come, we'll do it together, okay?"

"Okay," Katie says, "when I say push, please push."

We're breathing in and out in tandem.

"Okay, Bella, Edward. Push."

**BELLA**

Oh my God, it hurts.

This is the most painful and surreal experience of my life.

"Push."

Actually, now that I'm able to push, it's a tiny bit easier. At least I can do something.

**EDWARD**

"Okay, love."

I breathe in and out with her. She pulls up all the strength she has left, trembling, cold sweat on her brow. I can tell she's nearing the end of her tether, falling back against my chest once the contraction is over.

"Edward," she cries.

"Baby." I kiss her cheek, which is wet from sweat and tears. "I love you. I love you. Just think of our beautiful baby."

She's panting.

"Breathe with me," I suggest, and I can tell she tries to. Her temple is salty from sweat as I kiss it.

We're panting together, until the next contraction hits her.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!"

"Push!" Katie cheers.

Bella actually bites my hand so hard I wonder if I'm going to need stitches.

She's whining from the exertion.

"I love you," I whisper helplessly. "I love you."

Once more, she yells out in pain, crushing my fingers.

"Good job," Katie tells us, "She's crowning. Bella, do you want to feel your daughter's head?"

She takes Bella's hand and guides it between her legs.

"Oh my God," Bella cries.

"Relax, Bella, and when the next contraction comes, the worst will be over."

Bella is still panting, sweat covering her temples. I dab them with the cloth, but Bella doesn't react. She is breathing heavily, her eyes closed in concentration now that the end is in sight.

"Okay, Bella, Edward. Push, okay?"

I support her body as she gathers all her strength and pushes, whining in between her breaths and screams.

"Well, there she is," Katie says. "I can see her head. Just a couple more pushes and she'll be with you, Bella."

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you," Bella chants.

"I love you," I whisper.

"_Fuck you_."

"Okay, now! Push, Bella."

I get ready to support her, and Bella's whole body constricts as she pushes.

I can do nothing. I can hold her and let her scream at me and try to breathe with her. I can take her nails that dig into my skin, and I can take her fingers squeezing mine until they look like sausages.

But I can't help her.

"One-two-three," Katie chants, "And breathe, and –"

Bella lets out a bloodcurling scream.

**BELLA**

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, but the pressure increases, and I know I'm on the closing stretch.

I'm sorry for Edward who has to take my shit.

My teeth.

My fingers.

"Aaaaaah. Ohmyfuckinggod. Aaaah. Aaaaaaaaaaahh…"

**EDWARD**

And then, all of a sudden, she's there, and I have a tiny, blood-smeared person in my arms. She's pink. No, not pink, but purplish.

Small arms and legs, and a tiny head with wisps of hair. She's full of gunk and blood. She screams, but it sounds like a tiny kitten.

She smells like blood and newborn. And she's so messy, and my heart is so wide open that I don't matter anymore. Only this tiny person in my arms matters.

I look at my daughter, and everything shifts.

I put her on Bella's chest, and the tiny being gets quiet. She stops mewling and makes a few sucking motions with her teeny tiny lips before she becomes silent again.

I cannot believe we made her, Bella and I.

Katie hands me the scissors so I can cut the umbilical cord.

She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

**BELLA**

Never, ever, have I been this exhausted. But it's a good exhaustion. And never before have I felt this deep understanding.

Edward has just placed our daughter on my chest. She's smeared with stuff and darkish pink and really tiny and fragile. She has little wisps of coppery hair.

I cannot believe that she came out of me, just now.

She's beautiful. All warm and perfect.

"Bella," Edward whispers, kissing my temple.

"She's perfect," I murmur, my voice hoarse.

"She is." Edward kisses my cheek.

We both look at the tiny bundle on my chest.

"Beautiful," Edward murmurs, "Just like her mother."

I can feel tears spring to my eyes.

I tentatively touch the tiny person lying on top of me.

She's so small.

Edward touches her just as carefully, his eyes bright and wet and happy.

He bends over us and kisses me softly, carefully, as if I were made of glass.

"I love you," he whispers in a thick voice, his dry lips touching mine.

Katie takes Lizzie's vitals while she is still on my chest and we have our bonding time. Edward snuggles up to us, wrapping both of us in his arms, the understanding I had earlier deepens. This is what it's all about. Why didn't anyone just tell me?

_Now I understand!_

Sometime later, they want to take my tiny baby from me, and I protest.

"No… No… you can't take her."

"We'll be over there," Katie says, pointing to the other side of the room, just a couple of feet away. "Okay? It's important that we have a look at her to make sure she's all right. It will only take a few minutes, and then your daughter will be back."

Edward's fingers touch mine.

"She'll be good," he murmurs softly. "And you want to get cleaned up, too, don't you?"

"Okay," I whisper, and the tiny, blood-smeared bundle is taken away from my chest, making me feel cold immediately.

Edward 's eyes follow the nurse as she walks away with our baby, and I can see that he's fighting between staying with me and walking over there to control what's happening with our baby.

"Please go," I whisper, nodding in the direction they are carrying her.

"Are you sure?"

His face is above mine, stubbly and pale and exhausted, green eyes wide awake with happiness.

"Yeah," I murmur.

Edward kisses me softly and walks to the other side of the room while Katie returns to tend to me.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Katie asks.

"Dizzy," I smile. "Exhausted. Perfect. Scared."

"We'll have to deliver the placenta, but it's going to be easy, okay?"

"Okay…"

I don't even feel embarrassed considering the woman just pulled a human being out of my vagina. She's very gentle, talking to me all the time to make it less awkward, and she delivers the placenta without difficulties.

"You will heal beautifully, Bella," she says. "No ruptures, no cuts."

"Whew," I sigh with relief.

"And your baby is a perfect little girl. Have you thought about when you want to go home yet?"

She gently helps me slip on a fresh gown. I feel better now, having been cleaned of the gunk and blood.

"Yes, we –"

A weak scream interrupts us, and I realize that it's coming from Edward's direction. He is carrying a tiny pink bundle as he crosses the distance between us. Her mewling sounds reach my heart and stomach immediately, and I stretch my arms out toward her. Katie helps me sit up a little and Edward places the small, crying person back on my chest.

She stops crying.

"Oh my God," I whisper.

Edward sits down by my side, his eyes so full of love and happiness.

"She was missing her mommy," he smiles, and his eyes crinkle at the sides so I think he might start crying again.

Edward kisses my forehead and then the tiny pink-blanketed head of our daughter. Her face is scrunched and her lips are pursed.

"Do you think she's hungry?" I whisper.

She is making sucking motions, and instinctively I place her against my breast. She makes more motions with her lips, but doesn't attach them to my nipple. I think she sticks out her tongue a lot.

"Okay," Katie says softly. "When we talked before, you wanted to do this after the delivery. Do you want to try? Now?"

"Yes." I tentatively nod my head.

"Edward?" Katie says. "Would you like to sit with your ladies? If you want that, Bella?"

Edward and I look at each other, and I realize we're both still totally high. We both nod, and Edward sits down on the bed and wraps his arm around me as I place our one-hour-old daughter against my breast.

**EDWARD**

My mom is crying, and so is Rose. Alice has the biggest bunch of pink balloons, and Dad is carrying a gigantic teddy bear. Emmett's dimples have never been so deep, and Jasper coos at our daughter as Esme holds her carefully. She returns our sleeping beauty to my arms after a moment, sensing that neither Bella nor I are ready yet to let her go. Our family leaves after twenty minutes, having been provided with all the information.

Elizabeth Noelle Cullen was born at five twenty-three on the morning of September the second, weighing six pounds and one ounce. She is eighteen-and-a-half inches long and the most beautiful being on earth. Next to her mother, that is.

**BELLA**

Everyone was so happy just now. I can't wait for Dad and Sue to arrive. They're taking a plane this morning. I swear my dad sounded teary when I talked to him a moment ago. He was worried because Lizzie came two weeks early, but when Edward assured him that it's completely okay, and that Lizzie is perfectly healthy, he let it rest. For a second, I think of my mother, and that she will never meet her granddaughter, but right then, Lizzie whines softly and Edward places her back in my arms.

**EDWARD**

Watching Bella nursing our daughter is incredible. Lizzie doesn't get the concept immediately, and Bella, who is exhausted beyond words and hormonal from here to Mars, starts crying, but Katie's words help.

"You're doing perfect. Later. Rest. Your daughter will not starve."

Bella's eyes get droopy, but she's fighting so hard to stay awake.

"Bella," I murmur. "I'll put Lizzie in her crib, okay? She'll be one foot away from you. Okay?"

Bella makes a whiney sound, her eyes fluttering awake.

"I'll be here. Right here, okay?"

She sighs softly, and lets me take our tiny daughter from her arms. The second I hold her, I need to concentrate really hard so I don't start to bawl.

This is so much bigger than anything I've ever experienced. My daughter. Our daughter.

I place her in her crib, but a tear lands on her pink woolen hat.

I sneak into the adjacent bathroom, changing into my pajamas and brushing my teeth. I grin when I see my face in the mirror. I look like shit. My hair looks like several birds have been nesting in there for a really long time. My skin is more grey than pale, and my eyes are bloodshot.

I have never been happier.

I return to the room where Bella is already sleeping, turned in the direction of the crib, her arm stretched out toward our daughter.

As carefully as I can, I slip into the bed behind her, but I'm not careful enough, waking the new mother.

She's startled, and I can tell that there's a second that finds her disoriented before she reaches out for the crib.

"Bella," I whisper, but she's already sitting up and peering into the crib, touching our baby's leg.

"She's here," Bella whispers. "She's with us."

"She is." I sit up and carefully pull Bella into my arms as we look at our sleeping daughter.

Her nose is scrunched up and she is rather wrinkly altogether. She is the most beautiful person on earth.

"Her eyes," Bella whispers, "they look like yours. See?"

"Her lips look like yours."

"Oh my God, she's moving her fingers!"

"She's scrunching her lips!"

Bella turns her face toward me.

She has never been so beautiful. I don't know what exactly changed, but something did. Her hair is in a wild bun, her skin is blotchy and her lips are swollen from hours of biting. But her eyes. Her eyes have a whole new… level.

"What?" Bella looks at me, worry in her eyes.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that you're beautiful. And that I love you. And that I have never been happier in my entire life."

She leans into my embrace, and I can practically feel the exhaustion in every nerve of her body.

"I love you," she murmurs. "Thank you."

"Thank _you_, my love. For giving me the greatest gift, ever."

**Oo=oO**

**This is it, my darlings. Don't forget to review!**

**Until next week!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	42. Little One

**A/N:**

**Dellaterra is my brilliant beta. Thank you for everything! Thank you, thank you, thank you.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Oo=oO**

Chapter 42: **Little One**

**BELLA**

My daughter is two days old, and I am a hormonal, frightened, overjoyed and sleep-deprived mess.

Breastfeeding is still a painful and awkward mystery, and even with Katie's help, I don't seem to get it right.

I think I slept a total of nine hours over the past three days, and in combination with my crazy hormones, the exhaustion makes me tearful and despondent.

Edward is being a rock of strength, getting up with me at night, taking care of everything from cooking to looking after the cat and holding me through my crying spells.

And then, there are so many moments when I am – when we both are – happier than ever before, and we look at our daughter, and everything makes sense, and there's nothing but the purest love.

She's a wonder.

**EDWARD**

"I never imagined this would be so difficult," I say. "And I feel so stupid. I'm a doctor, for God's sake. I should know about this." I run a hand through my hair.

"Edward, darling." Mom takes my hand. "Everything you are experiencing is completely normal, and natural. You want to be there for Bella, and you are. Of course her body is undergoing a lot of major changes right now. But it's a big change for you as well, and you need to acknowledge that too."

"Yeah," I say hoarsely, "but I feel so helpless. It's like I can't do _anything_. She's bearing the whole brunt of this. Trying to feed, and not getting it right, and suffering from those terrible mood swings. I wish I could help her."

"I think you do, you know," she says softly. "Getting up with her at night, doing all the everyday domestic stuff."

Mom kisses my cheek.

"You are a wonderful husband and father, Edward. This is all so new for you and Bella. Just give it time. I promise you that in four weeks, things will look completely different."

The baby monitor starts to sound off, and the soft mewling becomes a helpless screaming after a second. I hoped that Bella could sleep a little, so I get up.

"I'll just – " I gesture to the stairs.

"Go, darling. Take care of your girls. And call whenever, okay?"

**BELLA**

Lizzie is finally asleep, lying on her back in the middle of our huge bed with her little pink blanket around her. I'm nodding off as well, having made sure she's warm and safe. Since she's not able to roll over by herself, I needn't worry about her falling off the bed.

_I've read everything about the pros and cons of co-sleeping._

Right now, I need to close my eyes for a few moments.

_Just… a… few… moments…_

Warmth and strength surround me. His lips are so soft on my neck.

"Hey…" I murmur sleepily.

"Mmm," Edward replies, his body heavy and relaxed against mine. His breathing is deep and regular, relaxing me even further.

We fall asleep together: Mom, Dad and Baby.

**BELLA**

"Oh my God," Edward whispers. "Look at her!"

I return to my spot on the terrace next to him on the wicker couch.

Edward looks as tired as I feel, but his smile is brighter than the sun as he watches his daughter fall asleep, pouting her little lips.

I lean against his shoulder and kiss his stubbly jaw. He hasn't shaved in a few days – even taking a shower is a real luxury these days – and his skin is scruffy, his whiskers various shades of blonde, bronze and reddish brown.

Lizzie's tiny hand is curled around Edward's pointer finger as he cradles her to his chest.

**BELLA**

"Okay, I'm going now," Edward says for the third time. He looks at me nervously. I'm sitting in the glider in the nursery, rocking our half-sleeping daughter.

"You'll be all right, won't you?"

"Edward," I smile. "You're shopping for groceries and going to the pharmacy. I'll call if anything happens during the next forty-five minutes."

He smiles sheepishly, returning one more time to kiss Lizzie's head and my lips.

It's the first time we'll be apart since we welcomed our daughter three days ago.

**EDWARD**

Bella is crying again.

Our beautiful daughter is four days old, and Bella is afraid that she's starving her. To be honest, I never expected breastfeeding to be this difficult.

Lizzie won't latch on immediately. I used to think newborns would.

How can I help her with that? I don't have boobs. I have no fucking idea how this works. They didn't teach us about that in med school.

And I can read the books again and again, but I cannot teach my wife how to do this. I can talk to her and try to soothe her ragged nerves.

Bella won't give up, and I'm so fucking proud of her for that.

Katie came in again yesterday, and Bella seems a bit better since then, but I still feel horribly helpless.

I do what I can. I cook and feed Bella regular meals. I get her warm compresses for her sore nipples. I do the laundry. I try to give her comfort when she cries.

**BELLA**

_Fuck. Me. Hard._

Katie came in again yesterday and since she gave me more practical advice, breastfeeding is a whole new experience. It's not easy now, but it actually _works_. Somewhat.

It's a thing you need to work out with your baby. You can't talk it through, but have to feel your way into it.

Her tips were lifesaving.

Also, Katie told me that I am completely normal, Lizzie being only six days old.

"It's about technique, Bella. It's not something you just know how to do."

That saved me.

"Lizzie," I murmur now, "you need to do this like that… take in the whole… yep. Right." I can't help but grin. It works. Lizzie latches on and sucks, and drinks, and we're happy.

**BELLA**

It took us some time to figure it out, but now, she just latches on and sucks until she's sated. Nothing has ever given me that feeling of protectiveness. Edward is totally fascinated by the process, loving to sit next to me when I feed our daughter, his arm slung around my shoulder, encouraging me softly whenever things don't go well immediately.

Once Lizzie is happy and full, I will pass her over to her dad, who holds her to his chest and burps her. By the time they're finished, Lizzie mostly is conked out, and Edward is happy as a clam, putting her in her bassinet and kissing her tiny face.

**BELLA**

"Oh, God, I _can't!_" Edward whines.

It's too cute.

"So you can operate on people's _hearts_, but you don't feel able to cut your daughter's nails?"

"She always wriggles around. What if she does and I hurt her?"

I step closer to him and twine my arms round his waist. Edward's arm slides around me and I bury my face somewhere between his chest and his armpit.

His white T-shirt smells freshly washed. His skin smells familiar. Like Edward. Like home.

"If she does wriggle around, you will notice and not cut her tiny nails," I argue, kissing his chest through the soft cotton.

"So you did this when she was asleep, right?"

"Yes, Edward. For the twentieth time. I did this when she was asleep. A week ago. And nothing happened. She's sleeping now, you know."

Edward takes a deep breath, so I can feel his ribcage expand underneath my arms.

"She's so _tiny_."

I'm annoyed, but also touched. This man wields a scalpel to saves lives, and doesn't feel able to cut his daughter's nails.

_I managed, though. I was just as scared. And I will not admit that fact to my husband who is a surgeon, for God's sake._

"Okay," I whisper into his ear. "I will take her hand. You cut her nails. And Lizzie won't even notice."

Ten minutes later, our daughter has slept through her mani/pedi. Edward is inordinately proud, and we order in.

He feeds me bits of spring rolls and sweet and sour pork. We kiss and touch.

Everything feels the same, but different.

We're no longer that couple. We are a family.

We fall asleep with our tired limbs entangled and our ears alert.

**BELLA**

"Shh," I coo, rocking my daughter softly in the vain hope that she might stop crying.

She doesn't.

She won't.

I'm a bad mother. A terrible mother.

I try feeding her. I burp her. I sing to her.

She cries.

We have taken up residence on the sofa downstairs so Edward won't wake up.

I sing again, softly and hopefully, soothingly, rocking Lizzie in my arms. Her eyes start to droop. She makes a small whiney noise that strangely reminds me of her dad.

"_You were there_," I keep singing,"_I saw you and my heart stopped beating…_"

"Hey." Edward's breath is soft and warm on my neck.

"You should be sleeping," I tell him.

"I know."

Sitting down, he embraces Lizzie and me, and kisses my temple.

Lizzie has stopped crying and is falling asleep. Her pout is the same as Edward's.

His sleepy smile is sweet. He kisses the corner of my mouth, and Lizzie's head.

"I love you," he whispers.

**EDWARD**

"Happy birthday to you," I sing softly. "Happy birthday to you…" I kiss her cheek, and her eyelids and nose, finishing with her soft lips.

Bella blinks and stirs as she wakes.

I waited until ten minutes before the time that Lizzie usually wakes up. That way, I figured, Bella wouldn't lose too much sleep while we still got our moment together.

"Hey," I whisper against her lips.

She grumbles cutely, but wraps her arms around my neck.

"Hi…"

"Happy birthday, my love."

I can feel her smile.

"Where's my gift?" she mumbles.

"Still asleep," I reply, and kiss her again.

Bella's lips are so soft and she responds sleepily, and –

Oh, fuck, there's something a-stirring in my pants. For some reason, it feels wrong. We can't, and I'm sure that even if we could, Bella wouldn't want to. She's this overtired, exhausted, sweet mess.

And then, our eleven-day-old daughter makes herself known from the cradle, so I put one last kiss on my wife's lips before I get up and fetch Lizzie for breakfast.

Well, _her_ breakfast, anyway.

**BELLA**

I have the sweetest husband in the world. He prepared us breakfast in bed while I fed Lizzie, and right now, I am unwrapping birthday gifts.

And there are tons, but the loveliest is a black-and-white picture by Seth of Edward, Lizzie and me when she was about two hours old. The happiness is pouring out of that photo.

"I love you," I whisper tearfully. "I love you so much."

"As I love you," Edward replies softly, pressing a tiny box into my hand.

"You're crazy."

"About you…" he croons.

It's a platinum, a gold and a silver band with a heart-shaped diamond. Edward turns the ring in my hand so I can read the inscription.

_Forever._

**EDWARD**

"Oh, baby…"

She's crying again.

"Baby, Bella…"

"I'm good," she sobs, pressing her face into my chest. "I'm sorry… I love you so much."

"I love you too," I murmur.

She finally looks up, her eyes wet and vulnerable.

"I love you, Edward. I love you." She sniffles. "I'm just hormonal…"

"That's okay," I whisper.

**BELLA**

How can such a tiny person shit so much?

She's only drinking, for God's sake!

I hate to change her diapers. The smell makes me sick.

Lizzie gets squeamish, wriggling around. She's spreading her tiny, spidery fingers, screaming out her discontent.

"Lizzie," I coo. "Lizzielizzielizzie…"

She screams.

I sigh. I rub my head.

Something soft touches me and, looking down, I realize that it's Cedric, rubbing his head against my leg.

"Hey," I say. "Hello, mister."

Something happens.

Lizzie is silent.

Huh?

I look at her. She's asleep.

"Cedric?" I look down at the large orange cat.

And I swear to God he winks at me.

"Cedric?"

He struts off.

He made his point.

Sweet cat.

**EDWARD**

Today is our first real outing with Lizzie. We have pushed the pram through the park and such, and our close friends and family have come to visit, but today, we're really going out with our daughter.

She's snugly sitting in her carrier, her tiny body close to my chest. She's asleep after feeding. She's also losing her left sock as we make our way to the car.

"Bella?" I say to my wife, who is yawning while she digs through her purse to find the keys for the Volvo. "Can you… Lizzie's loosing her sock."

"Oh." Once again I notice the deep circles under her eyes. "Sure."

She pulls Lizzie's sock up and kisses our daughter's head.

"Are you okay, baby?" I question softly.

"Sure."

We're silent on our way to my parents. Once we get into their house, everybody coos and marvels at Lizzie. I could burst with pride any moment, even though, realistically speaking, I haven't done much as yet. I fathered her. It was Bella who grew her inside her body and gave birth to her. It's Bella who feeds her from said body. It's Bella she wants when she cries.

It's Bella who is looking a little lost and empty right now, as I parade our little Lizziepea.

**BELLA**

"Rose?"

It has taken me two hours to gather enough courage to make this call.

"Bella! How nice to hear from you! Is everything okay? How is Lizzie? How are you?"

"That's actually the reason I am calling. Rose… Can you help me?"

Two hours later, we're in the cute café in the park, the stroller with a sleeping Lizzie by my side. The sun is shining brightly, providing a lovely warmth, considering it's October.

Rose, as always, looks perfect. Her long golden curls are draped over her shoulders as if arranged by a stylist. Her figure is still perfect at the age of forty-four and after three children.

At first, I'm tongue-tied and ashamed, not wanting to admit my obvious failure as a mother. But Rose helps me. And I know I can trust her.

More importantly, she's likely to understand.

"This is so difficult," I sigh. "I feel like a dairy cow. I don't remember when I slept more than three hours in a row. Everything hurts. I can't even imagine what it's like to not feel tired and exhausted.

"I love Lizzie more than anyone or anything," I continue, "but I'm constantly afraid that I'm failing her. I don't know what I'm doing! And Edward… I know he has his own issues, being presented with a new person, but I don't think I'm able to help him right now… I'm just too tired. I'm sorry, Rose. I… I just…"

"Bella," Rose says, and I have never seen her face like this. Full of warmth and understanding. She takes my hand. "You have been a mother for four weeks, and you are doing a terrific job. Every new mom is scared to death. You can ask Emmett how I freaked after Lily was born, and she wasn't our first! You'll grow into it, sweetheart. What you are feeling right now is completely normal."

She smiles.

"You're a wonderful mother, Bella. And you have given my little brother the greatest gift ever. Have patience."

**EDWARD**

It's the first day I have spent away from my wife and daughter. I went in for six hours today, during which I sent Bella about eleven text messages.

I was planning to work at least an eight-hour shift, but was sent home early, so to speak. Nothing big was happening, and Ben told me to return to my family. Since I'd been thinking about nothing else the entire time, I gladly left.

Coming home is a completely new experience. Our house smells different. There's a new feeling in the air. Cedric's greeting is more subdued. My heart beats toward my two girls.

There's a subdued light from the living room, and the voice of the TV.

After putting down my bag and hanging up my coat, I kick off my shoes and take off my socks, softly padding over the parquet in the hallway.

The sight before me is so beautiful it tugs at my heart. Bella is on the sofa, the baby monitor directly next to her, clutching her cell phone to her chest. She's asleep, her breathing regular and even. The coffee table is a complete mess: books, bottles and lotions, a box of Kleenex, a notepad and pen, and a half-eaten sandwich.

Two feet away, Lizzie is sleeping peacefully in her cradle.

Kneeling next to the sofa, I just watch her for a moment, breathing her in. She smells like Bella and baby, the best smell in the world.

"Huh?"

We both flinch as she sits up very suddenly, looking alarmed.

"What?"

A worried line between her brows, she stares at me, still sleepy.

"Nothing, baby." I kiss her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just returned home."

"Is Lizzie okay?"

"You would have woken if she'd made a peep," I say.

**BELLA**

"Hey," Edward murmurs as he rejoins me in bed.

"Hey," I reply.

He put Lizzie back in her bassinet after I gave her breakfast.

I move close to him and rest my head on his chest.

"'s she asleep?"

"Yeah…"

"I love you," I murmur.

It's Sunday and we can sleep.

Sleep.

What a heavenly concept.

"I love you too…"

I nuzzle my face into Edward's armpit and conk out.

**BELLA**

Cedric snuggles up to Lizzie and me. He has accepted the fact that he is not allowed to interrupt us when Lizzie is nursing. Which doesn't mean that he understands it.

Right now, he's purring like a lawnmower, pushing his pink nose against my thigh as he is wedged between the back of the sofa and my leg. I have no idea how he does it, but he has a soothing influence on our daughter. He is licking his paws and watching me from round amber eyes. I tickle him behind his ears as much as I can while still maintaining Lizzie's equilibrium.

Cedric purrs.

Lizzie eats.

I'm happy.

**EDWARD**

Bella looks a little lost, and I am a little worried. She's been rather low key the past few days, and I'm afraid that she might be developing symptoms of postpartum depression.

It's Lizzie's four-week birthday, and we agreed to visit my parents.

Mom holds our child, beaming with happiness, and Bella eyes her as if she might drop little Lizzie. She is so tense that I'm afraid she might explode any moment. Of course, my mother notices and gets up to place our baby back in Bella's arms.

"Mmm," she coos, "I can tell that you want to be back with Mommy, huh, little darling?"

Once Esme places the almost-sleeping infant back in Bella's arms, my wife relaxes, kissing Lizzie's forehead and joining in the conversation again. Mom serves coffee with the most delicious apple pie. She made ginger tea for Bella, who smiles gratefully.

Carlisle takes an endless amount of photos of our little pea. He's such a proud granddad.

Conversation with him is easy now, and talk about Lizzie mostly. When Carlisle suggests that we might want to apply for a kindergarten place for her, Mom rolls her eyes and tells him that Lizzie will be perfect no matter what kindergarten she goes to. And Dad, he just shuts up, and compliments Bella on her lovely hair.

_What the fuck?_

Lizzie starts mewling softly, which means she needs either food or a fresh diaper. Bella is already getting up.

"If you don't mind, I'll just go to Edward's old room? She's hungry."

Bella blushes slightly, and my heart flies out to her. I want to take her and Lizzie back home. We're so vulnerable, so raw.

"No need to climb the stairs," Mom says softly. "If you want, you can sit in my room, Bella."

"Oh. Okay." Bella nods. Lizzie's voice is getting louder, even though she still sounds like a tiny kitten.

Bella follows Mom out of the living room with our daughter, and this time, it's me who's feeling a little lost.

**BELLA**

I don't feel bashful in front of Esme, knowing she has three children.

When she asks me whether I want her to leave, I shake my head. With a smile, she sits down in one of the two armchairs in her studio while I prepare to feed Lizzie, who latches on eagerly.

"How is it?" Esme asks, her voice carrying the same warmth her son's has.

"Getting better," I smile. "She's a darling." I look down on my daughter, who is sucking happily. "But I was so scared in the beginning. Overwhelmed, I guess."

"You're doing so well, Bella," Esme says. "I remember how scared I was after Rose was born. And I was alone a lot of the time. I was this close to freaking out."

"How was it?" I ask. Lizzie is feeding, a look of contentment on her tiny face, her eyes scrunched together. Her woolen hat is slipping down over her left ear, but I don't want to bother her while she eats.

So Esme and I begin to talk. Softly, the level of our voices suited to the subjects we discuss. Nursing, bras, nipples, nursing bras, and hormones.

And I'm okay.

Maybe I'm not such a bad mother after all.

**EDWARD**

Getting up at five in the morning is never easy, but after you've been woken every two or three hours at night, it's hell. Bella told me to get earplugs, but I'd feel horribly selfish if I did.

Ben and Demetri – everyone at work, really – are supporting me where they can, and I am deeply grateful for their help. I get to spend much more time with my young family than I expected at first.

I'm having my third cup of coffee after finishing surgery on a thirty-year-old guy who had taken so much speed and coke that his heart freaked out.

I check my phone and grin when I see that Bella sent a message. It's Lizzie, wearing her woolen hat with bunny ears, sleeping through her outing in Central Park. They are with Seth and Alice, who are the sweetest godparents-to-be. Seth is so careful with Lizzie that it's downright funny. He adores her.

I yawn, and turn my attention back to work.

I wish it were seven p.m.

**BELLA**

I wish it were seven p. m., and Edward would be home. I'm crying again and hating myself for it, telling myself that it's just the lack of sleep. I've been feeling this way for a week or so, and I'm beginning to fear that it might be postpartum depression. I'm seeing Dr. Banner the day after tomorrow about this, and I don't know what to say if she suggests increasing my antidepressants again, because it would mean that I will have to stop breastfeeding Lizzie.

She's sleeping peacefully in her rocking chair. I sometimes put it on with the music too, which drives Edward crazy because it's a terrible, rackety sound. Actually, it's a bit like this song they play at the moving teacups place in Disneyland.

That thought puts a smile on my face and my tears subside.

**EDWARD**

"Hello, my darling," I coo to my tiny daughter. "You're so pretty! Aren't you pretty? Yes, you're the most beautiful girl on earth!"

She sticks out her tongue, and I swear she's grinning!

Bella chuckles as she adds spaghetti to the boiling water.

"If you keep talking to her that way, she'll never be able to speak properly, darling!"

"Oh yes you will," I singsong, kissing my daughter's tiny, warm cheeks. She smells so good, all clean baby. Well, and maybe a little sourish from spitting up milk. Her hair is so soft, wispy and only slightly lighter in color than mine. Her eyes, which were a dark blue when she was born, are becoming darker, and I fully expect them to become as brown as Bella's.

"Hey." Bella joins me and we share a very tender kiss. "How was your day?"

"Okay," I shrug. "How was yours?"

"I missed you," she murmurs.

"I missed you too."

"She looked like the girl from _The Exorcist_ when she spit up milk all over my shirt," Bella says, and I have to smile. "What was her name?"

"Linda Blair," I say.

"Yeah. I didn't know what to do, because I wanted to take a shower, but she was crying, you know, and then I started crying too."

"Oh, no. Oh, I'm so sorry my love."

Bella smiles tiredly. "But I placed her in the rocking-chair thingy and took a bath with her next to me, and it was okay."

"You're doing such a great job, love," I mumble against her neck. I pepper her skin with little kisses. "I'm so sorry I can't be with you all the time…"

"It's okay," she murmurs.

And then, she wriggles out of my embrace, places a kiss on our daughter's head and goes to stir the pasta.

**BELLA**

I am tired, as I always am. But I want to talk to Edward before we go to sleep.

I snuggle up to his side, placing my head on his chest, which is our usual position before we move over and Edward spoons me.

"Hey," I murmur.

"Hey." Edward kisses my forehead.

"I think I want to start expressing," I say.

Edward places another kiss on my brow.

"What?"

"Huh?"

"What d'you want to express? That you're an artist?" His voice is garbled with sleep.

I giggle sleepily into the hairy skin of Edward's chest.

"What?" he chuckles softly.

"Milk," I mumble. "I want to express milk. You could feed Lizzie that way, and, I don't know, if we'd want to leave her with a sitter…"

"Oh…_ Oh… Okay…" _He kisses my forehead."Then I could feed her too…" He stifles a yawn.

"Yes." I kiss his chest again and move over. Edward snuggles up to my back.

"I'd love that…"

A moment later, his even breathing tells me that he's asleep, and I follow soon after.

**EDWARD**

I'm actually a bit nervous. This is the first time I'm feeding my daughter. Bella hands me the bottle. She shooed me away when I peeked in to ask whether the pump was working, telling me that I'd never be able to think of her in an erotic context again if I saw her like that. I told her it was nonsense, and joined her. We laughed quite a lot.

And it looked only slightly weird.

"Okay, Lizziepea," I murmur. "Here goes."

She looks at me earnestly, pouting her little lips. She accepts the bottle easily and starts to suck.

"Wow," I whisper. "This is great."

Bella kisses my cheek and puts her head on my shoulder. Lizzie closes her eyes and concentrates on feeding.

"I'm happy," I say, kissing Bella's brow. "You two make me so happy."

**BELLA**

"Oooh," Alice coos, "aren't you a pretty girl?"

I chuckle. She's totally besotted with her niece, and keeps bringing pink items into our home.

Lizzie is falling asleep again, and I place a pillow under Ali's arm, because she will feel our little one's weight in a few minutes.

"Are you allowed to have that?" Her bluish-green eyes sparkle as she looks at the two glasses of champagne I have poured us.

"Yes. She just ate, and the next time she's hungry, I'll give her some expressed milk. And I'll only drink half a glass," I add.

"Oh, good." Alice smiles, and we clink our glasses together.

Edward is working a late shift, and Alice had asked if she could come over and see her niece.

"How are things with my little brother?"

"Wonderful." I can't help the huge grin that spreads over my face. "I've never been so happy. Despite waking up at all times of night, and always being tired. It's wonderful." I take a sip of my bubbly drink, which is glorious.

"I'm so glad to hear that," Alice says. Her smile is deep and sincere.

"Sometimes, I catch myself and think it's strange. I never thought about having children until I met Edward…"

"Child_ren_, Bella?" Alice smirks.

"Well." I'm actually blushing a little. "We talked about it. We don't want her to be an only child."

**EDWARD**

I was worried all this time, but I somehow think that Bella is okay. That her mood swings were just that: the mood swings of a new mother. She's much more stable now, and I am terribly relieved.

Right now, we're in bed and I'm feeding her ice cream. Bella is eating healthily and has muttered a couple of times that she needs to get back in shape, but she's also breastfeeding, and what the heck? She's the most beautiful woman in my universe, and I adore her body, with all the changes her pregnancy imposed.

She was crying the other night about her belly and her breasts, and I wrapped her in my arms and told her that she needs to go easy on herself. Our daughter is barely six weeks old! Bella gained twenty-seven pounds, and most of the weight is already gone, but apparently, I'm a poor judge, because she continued shaking her head when I told her how beautiful she was.

Well, maybe I convinced her, because she is licking her lips after another spoonful of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Therapy. She moans, and watches my eyes get large as I swallow.

"Whap? It'sh delishush!"

I don't hesitate and pull her close to me, kissing her soundly. She tastes like cold chocolate and divine Bella.

_God, I've missed her._

"Mmm," she sighs. "I love you…"

"I love you," I mumble against her cold lips.

She feels so good, all small and soft, so womanly and smelling so damn good.

Our kiss gets more heated, and Bella moves to put the ice cream away before she straddles me.

Oh my God. _Oh my God._

"Baby… you… ohhh…"

We're making noises, moans and groans and sighs, and she feels so good, so _good_, and…

And a piercing scream comes from the bassinet.

**Oo=oO**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading, and thank you to everyone who continues to support my little story. I couldn't do it without you guys!**

**There are three chapters left, which will be posted until the end of the month. **

**Hugs and kisses,**

**Your **

**harperpitt**


	43. True Love

**A/N:**

**I'm sorry because I was horrible at replying to reviews, but can I make it up to you with an early update?**

**Thanks go, as always, to my wonderful, patient and amazing beta, dellaterra.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Oo=oO**

Chapter 43: **True Love**

**EDWARD**

"She's asleep," I murmur, slipping back under the covers.

"Did you sing to her?" Bella asks. She snuggles into my side, her hand on my chest, caressing me gently.

"Of course I did," I reply, smiling. I kiss her temple. She smells so good, like baby and Bella, warm and clean. My heart is so full of love.

Bella sighs, her warm breath washing over my chest. She kisses me, her fingers drawing lazy circles. Her touch is sweet and familiar.

"I love you," I whisper. I can feel her smile.

"I love you too." She kisses my throat and my chin, and then, our lips meet in a lingering kiss. It's tender, filled with reverence and devotion, the sheerest, purest love between us.

Her body is soft and warm and I am floating away on her very essence.

I pull her closer. Our kiss merges into something different. Tongues meet. It's deep and wondrous, and… new.

Mmm, how I love her body, so soft, so warm.

It makes me dizzy.

Sex hasn't been an issue over the past weeks. We're both too overwhelmed and too tired most of the time to even give a thought to it. But this, her touch, her smell, reminds every cell in my body of us, just us.

I know that she can feel my increased heartbeat and my labored breathing. I know she can feel me poking her hip. I feel like the world's horniest asshole, like I had been waiting for this to happen – which isn't the case. But it's what her proximity always does to me.

And then, she slips her hand inside my pajamas, and I moan instantly.

So good…

"Bella… baby… We shouldn't…"

"Shh," she whispers. "Please… Just let me feel you…"

Her hand wraps around me and I shudder.

Pumping and squeezing, stroking and teasing, she drives me to the edge, and all I can do is groan aloud when I come hotly into her hand.

Bella peppers my neck with dozens of tiny kisses, eventually releasing me. I want to turn around and grab a Kleenex but she beats me to it, cleaning my stomach and her hand.

She wraps her arm around me and snuggles up to me once again.

"Love you," she mumbles, and before I know it, she is breathing evenly, and I realize she has fallen asleep. I kiss her forehead.

"I love you too," I whisper.

**BELLA**

Since it's Edward's day off, he took on the feeding duty at night. It's fantastic that he is able to do that now and again, and a completely new feeling to be able to sleep more than a few hours without interruption.

He can't do it, of course, when he has to get up at five or six in the morning, but if he has a day off or a late shift the next morning, he gladly steps in. He's the sweetest and most tender daddy in the world. The way his eyes shine when he holds Lizzie, talks to her, rocks her to sleep, my heart brims over with love. These two are my whole world.

I return from the shower and find them in bed, Lizzie on Edward's chest and him with his eyes closed, dozing. She's grown so much over the past weeks, yet still is so tiny, especially with Edward's hand covering her back. Her hair has grown a little bit, and it has the same color that Edward's has in baby photos, a lighter shade of bronze and copper than it is now.

I quickly slip into my underwear and a T-shirt before crawling back into bed. I place a kiss on Edward's shoulder.

"Hmm," he mumbles. "Hello…"

"Hello." I kiss him again, enjoying the feel of his warm skin. "Do you want to sleep a bit longer?"

Lizzie moves her arm. She makes a smacking noise and pouts her lips.

"No," he murmurs, "just lie here for a few more minutes with you…" He opens one eye. "C'mere…" He wraps his free arm around me and I place my head on his chest, next to our daughter. I stroke her little foot. She's wearing this fluffy pink romper suit that Alice gave her. It has a fitting hat with mouse ears.

I sigh a little. I don't really want to admit it, but the thought of parting with her, even if only for a couple of hours, makes me nervous. It will be the first time. I know that Edward knows her just as well as I do, and he is just as involved with her feeding and diapering and sleeping habits as I am, but still – it will be the first time since she joined us six weeks and four days ago.

And I know that I have to do this, I have to get used to not being with her _all_ the time, and she needs to experience too that everything is okay even if Mommy leaves for a few hours.

Everything turned out so different than I expected it to. I was so afraid that I might have to deal with postpartum depression, or that I wouldn't feel motherly toward her because my own mother didn't. Instead, I am total mother hen, and this experience – being a mother, having this tiny human being totally dependent on me – seems to have stabilized me. Lucky things don't always turn out as we expect them to.

I kiss Edward's chest, his feel and his smell so familiar. He sets everything within me at ease. However stressful the past few weeks have been, they were filled with happy moments just like this. Everything makes sense now, with our Lizzie here.

**EDWARD**

Bella looked a bit panicked when she left just now, though she tried not to show it. As a matter of fact, I'm a bit nervous myself. Lizzie has hardly ever been parted from her mommy. I mean, sometimes Bella was asleep when I fed her, or she would be having a bath while I stayed with our baby, but she was always nearby. What if Lizzie freaks out? She knows only her mommy and depends on her for everything. She was i_nside her _until six-and-a-half weeks ago!

Lizzie is sleeping in her carrier, her tiny body pressed against my chest. I never knew this sort of love existed. I mean, I love Bella ridiculously, with all my heart and soul – and body too – but this is different. This little person rules my world; without doing anything, she makes me the happiest person on the planet.

"Okay, Lizziepea," I say softly. "Ready to go to the market?"

She sleeps while I buy butter and eggs, apples and walnuts and everything else I need for the cake, as well as some meat and vegetables. I also get a bouquet of wild flowers for Bella. It starts drizzling as we make our way home. I didn't bring an umbrella, so I try to shield Lizzie's head with one hand while carrying the two bags and the flowers in the other. The paper of the bags gets soggy and I try to hail a cab, which is ridiculous, since we're only two blocks from home. As it is, all cabs are taken, so I mutter, _shit, shit, shit_, and speed up. It's our daughter's first rain, and she doesn't like it. One bit.

She screams in protest, her little face getting red, and I try to soothe her, but she doesn't care. Little drops of cold water meet her hands and she probably thinks that the world is coming to an end. By the time we get home, we're both wet and exhausted.

I drop the groceries on the floor in the hall and take Lizzie out of the carrier, trying to decide what to do first? Feed her? No, bathe her, so she gets warm.

I hurry upstairs and prepare her bath, simultaneously taking Lizzie's clothes off. Thank God she's not cold, so I guess it's more the shock than anything else. She was swaddled to my chest all the time, and only her hands are a bit cool. I take off her diaper, which is full, so that must have contributed to her lack of comfort. She's still crying while I clean her, murmuring cooing words all the while. I slip off my shoes and socks in between, because I think I stepped into a puddle and my feet are wet.

She calms a little during her bath, but cries again when I take her out. That's always the downside – she loves the warm water, which probably reminds her of her Mommy's womb, but she hates coming out.

I wrap her into a towel and rock her, running a hand through my still-wet hair. Okay, now I have her pressed against my wet sweater, and that's not such a good idea, either.

"Okay, Lizzie," I say. "Just one second." I place her in the middle of our bed and take off my sweater and T-shirt, dropping them next to my shoes and socks.

Lizzie's cries become full-blown screams again, and a glance at my watch tells me that her last meal was over two hours ago.

Shit.

"Come here, sweetheart. Let Daddy give you a fresh diaper, and then we'll have a yummy lunch, okay?"

I go about this business as swiftly as possible. Thank God we have the warming lamp over the changing table. Oh no, now I put her little romper on backward! Well, fuck it, food comes first.

I carry Lizzie downstairs and start to warm a bottle from the fridge.

Cedric comes in and extensively licks his paws, looking quite smug.

I blow out a deep sigh when I'm finally sitting down with my daughter happily eating, and my nerves frazzled.

**BELLA**

"Okay, Bella," Katie says and takes off her gloves. "You can put your clothes back on."

A couple of minutes later, I'm sitting across from her at her desk. The rain, which started as a light drizzle, is now beating heavily against the windows.

"Everything looks very good," she smiles. "How do you feel?"

"Physically, or emotionally?" I smile back at her. I've always liked Katie, but having gone through the birthing experience with her makes me trust her even more. She has a motherly way about her that reminds me of Sue, as do her dark eyes.

"Well, both," she responds.

"I'm good. Much, much better than I ever expected to be. I mean, the constant sleep deprivation is hard, and I'm not too happy about some parts of my body, but I'm great. The bleeding stopped completely two weeks ago too."

"That's good. Any abdominal pain?"

"No."

"How's the breastfeeding going?"

"It's perfect. I mean, you know how hard it was in the beginning, but now, it's easy. I started expressing some milk too, so Edward can feed her, and we could maybe leave her with her grandparents one of these days." I smile sheepishly. "Actually, this is the first time I left her."

"Oh," Katie grins. "A big day, I see. Who's she with?"

"With Edward, so no worries there. He's perfect with her."

"How is he?"

"The happiest man on earth." I smile.

"And you? Emotionally?"

"Much better than I expected," I say. "Like I said, I imagined everything to be harder than it is. I talked to my shrink the other day, and she was very happy too."

"Wow, Bella, I'm really glad for you. You're like a model postpartum patient." Katie's eyes shine warmly behind her horn-rimmed glasses.

"Your MPP, huh?"

We both laugh.

"Well, so your blood pressure looked good too. Are you going to attend any postpartum exercise classes?"

"Yes, I plan to. Lisa, our prenatal class teacher, referred me to someone." I swallow.

"And… have you been thinking about having sex again yet? Because, as far as I'm concerned, you're good to go."

"Really?"

"Yes," she smiles. "Really. If you want to, that is."

"I do, I mean, I think I do. I know that Edward wants to, but…" I trail off.

"But?" she prods gently.

"I don't know. I'm a bit afraid?" I bite my lip, feeling silly. Why should I be afraid of having sex with my own husband? He's the gentlest, most caring person I know.

"Your body has been through some very big changes, Bella," Katie says. "Don't underestimate any of them. Only do what you feel comfortable doing. Your hormones are still all over the place, don't forget that. Many women don't feel the urge to have sex this soon after giving birth."

"I do," I say. "It's just… everything feels different."

"And that's completely normal," Katie replies. "So, like I said, only do what feels good. You want to go on some sort of birth control again, I guess?"

"Definitely," I say.

We discuss my options for a few more minutes and finish my consultation with some small talk. Katie tells me to say hello from her to Edward. The girl at the reception desk hands me a prescription and I head out into the rain.

I'm lucky, and a cab stops almost immediately when I wave my hand.

Fifteen minutes later, I open the front door to our apartment and almost take a step back. In the hall, there are two soggy and torn paper bags with stuff spilling out of them. A broken carton of eggs, trampled flowers, and wrapping paper with little pieces of meat.

"Edward?" I call, instantly panicking. "Edward?"

"In here," he calls softly from the bedroom, and I rush upstairs.

The picture there resembles the one downstairs, because it's pure chaos. Wet clothes from baby and man are strewn about the room, and Cedric sits on my dresser with a smirk. I swear to God it's a _smirk_!

Edward is on the bed, looking much like he did this morning, only now his pajama pants are replaced by jeans. Lizzie is sleeping on his chest.

"Hey," he says softly.

"Hey." I sit down next to him and kiss his lips. "What happened?"

"We got wet." He looks too cute. I haven't seen his hair this messy in ages.

"What did you do?"

"Shopping, of course." He raises one eyebrow, as if it was obvious. "And then it started raining, and Lizzie started screaming, and I didn't get a taxi. The bags were breaking, and when we returned home, my priority was to have her warm, and dry, and fed, so I did that. And in between, Cedric stole our dinner." He nods in the direction of our feline companion, who lounges on my dresser like it's his throne.

"I see," I murmur. I kiss him softly, and Edward's lips respond to mine teasing and tugging.

**EDWARD**

"Yes," Mom says again, smiling warmly. "Of course we will call if anything is the matter, Edward." She kisses my cheek. "But I'm sure we'll manage okay." She nods her head in Dad's direction. He is softly talking to Lizzie, and she seems totally at peace in her granddad's arms.

"Now get out of here, you two. And you're not allowed to collect her before noon! Tomorrow! I want to enjoy my little pumpkin!"

"Thanks, Esme." Bella hugs and kisses her, ready to leave, while I look back at my father and daughter. He's singing to her.

My dad is _singing_!

"So where are we going?" Bella asks once we're in the back of a cab.

She looks incredibly beautiful in a little black dress that shows off all her curves, her hair draped loosely around her shoulders, cheeks pink in anticipation.

This is almost like a first date or something. It's just us, and the intent of the evening is clear. Just being us. A couple. A couple in love.

I kiss her softly.

"Where did we go on our first date?" I murmur against her lips.

"Really?" she smiles.

"Yeah. Since Cedric ate all our steak the other day…"

Weber's Steak House is exactly the same as I remember it, comfy and homey. The hostess leads us to our table next to the fireplace, and I order a bottle of champagne. I know that Bella can't drink much, so I don't plan to, either, but it's an occasion.

Our first post-baby date.

I grab her hand across the table.

"You look beautiful," I say.

"Thanks…" All of a sudden, she looks shy. "You look very handsome, too."

I squeeze her fingers.

"You know that Lizzie is okay with my parents, right?"

"Yes," she hastily assures me. "Of course! She's totally in love with your dad!"

"Hmm." I don't get to say more because the waitress comes with our champagne. She has me taste it and I agree, and she pours us both a glass, but all this time, I can't get over the feeling that she's trying to flirt with me. I mean, is it really necessary for her to bend down in a way that I can look into her blouse?

I look away and stroke Bella's wrist.

_Her boobs are real, and much, much more beautiful, anyway…_

We clink our glasses. The champagne tastes nice.

My wife looks nicer.

"So what looks good to you?"

"Are you kidding me?" Bella's big eyes get even bigger. "A New York Strip steak! With a baked potato and everything!"

"Everything?" I wiggle my eyebrows.

"Yes," she says. "Everything."

"I think I'll have the same," I say.

We talk a lot. About Lizzie mostly, but also about our families and friends. Apparently, Seth and Collin are having problems in their relationship, and I didn't even know about it. Bella is certain they'll be okay though, and since she's known Seth practically all her life, I believe her.

Our dinner is lovely, and we share the same dessert we did when we came here for the first time: chocolate soufflé. Bella is ever so slightly tipsy and completely adorable as I feed her fluffy pieces of goodness. We laugh – a lot – and it's wonderful to be so carefree with her. We linger over coffee, our hands playing with each other. She's so beautiful. I love her more and more with each day.

She snuggles into my side on our way home, her hand on my thigh. I kiss the top of her head, inhaling her scent.

"Happy?" I ask.

"Very," she replies.

The rainy New York evening passes by without us paying attention. We're sharing soft, sweet kisses. Bella's fingers are lightly tugging at my hair while mine caress her cheeks and neck.

We almost don't notice when the car stops in front of our building, and Bella giggles into my neck while I pay the cabbie, giving him a huge tip because the poor guy had to witness our smooching all the way.

I hold our umbrella over Bella as we make our way inside, greeting the doorman. She frowns a little as we wait for the elevator.

"What are you thinking?" I ask, passing my knuckles over her cheekbone.

She shrugs. "It's just… It will be odd to be at home… without Lizzie."

"Oh, my love." I pull her close and kiss her forehead, simultaneously fishing my phone out of my pocket.

While we ride up, I text Mom, and by the time we have taken our coats off, she has responded with a picture. It's Carlisle, bottle-feeding our baby, both of them seeming very happy and at ease. I show Bella the picture.

"Oh my God, that's so sweet," she gushes, before her expression changes again, and without forewarning, a couple of tears drop on her cheeks.

"What is it?" I ask worriedly. I pull her into my arms again. It's easy to forget that she's still hormonal.

"It's just… I really miss my dad and Sue," she sniffles into my chest. "I'm sorry…"

"There's nothing to be sorry about, love," I say. I draw her even closer, burying my face in her hair. "I understand you completely. But look, they'll be here for Christmas… Or if you want, we can go to Seattle before that. It just depends on whether I can get some time off work again this soon. Ben's going on vacation in a few weeks, and –"

"It's okay," she mumbles, looking up into my eyes. Hers are huge and watery, but she smiles. She stands on her tiptoes and kisses me. "Would you be a total darling now and pour your wife a glass of wine?"

"Absofuckinglutely."

**BELLA**

After a perfect dinner and my little almost-crying attack, we're on the sofa, having a glass of wine while lazy jazz tunes perfect the atmosphere. I'm wrapped in Edward's arms while our lips are connecting between terms of endearment and small giggles.

It seems such a long time since we've been this way, even though it's not really. It's different – _we're_ different. We created this perfect, tiny being together, which changed us irrevocably.

A small moan from me melts into Edward's lips. His fingers are making slow circles on my back, going lower and lower, getting nearer to my ass.

This is so silly, and stupid, and sweet. He's pussyfooting his hand downward. It's a bit like a first date, unsure about how far we want to go. I know how far I want to go. I want to go all the way.

My heartbeat increases as our kiss becomes more passionate. Edward's lips are nibbling and sucking, and his tongue does wonderful things to mine. He feels so good, tasting like red wine and like Edward, his light stubble teasing me exquisitely. I'm drowning in him, floating away in the security of his arms.

"Baby…" His breath is hot on my lips, his hand now splayed over the swell of my butt, while the other is caressing my collarbone, his long finger stroking over the pulse point at my neck. I shudder. I tug at the hem of his crisp button-down and run my fingers over his warm, hard back. He moans when I softly scratch my fingers over his skin, hungrily demanding his lips back on mine. I pull him even closer, leaning back into the sofa until he's hovering above me. His weight on me is delicious.

For a very long time, we're lost in our bubble. I don't know when I wrapped my leg around Edward's, but it made my dress ride up, and he's squeezing and fondling my thigh while I am grabbing his hair with my left hand and his firm butt cheek with my right. I can feel him against my belly. The music has long since stopped, and the only sounds besides the patter of rain are our sighs and whispers. He's so tender, so careful, but I know he's just as excited as I am. I let go off his hair and open a couple of buttons of his shirt. He discarded his tie earlier, and it takes me just a few seconds until I can feel his chest, hair bristling against my skin, his heart pounding against my fingertips.

"I love you," I whisper into his mouth, and his hot breath catches on my lips. His eyes are dark in the dim light.

"I love you," he answers thickly before he resumes his kisses. Soft and slow and wet. I can feel my nipples straining against the soft nursing bra. All the blood in my body seems to be pooling in my lower regions. I wrap my other leg around him as well and bring him closer to me. Edward moans and his hips buck forward.

"Oh, God… baby…" His voice is strained. "I…" He swallows.

"Let's go upstairs," I whisper.

Edward says nothing, instead pulling me to the edge of the sofa and lifting me into his arms. I keep my legs wrapped around him as he carries me upstairs, all the while kissing and nuzzling his neck and ear.

He gingerly sets me down on the bed, and I can see that something has changed. There are little frown lines on his forehead. I trace them with my fingers. I slide my arm around his neck and lean in close to him until our noses are touching.

"It's okay," I whisper.

I open another button of his shirt, then another.

"I've missed you so much, Edward."

I brush his shirt down his shoulders.

I kiss him, softly at first, and then, when I feel him respond, harder. I run my hands all over his torso. I know Edward's body so well, and I love every inch of him. I love his muscular arms, and his shoulders. I love the way I can feel his ribcage, and how hard and firm he is in every way I am not. My fingers pitter-patter from his nipple to his belly. I open the clasp of his belt.

"Bella…" he groans. His hands move to my back and he slowly unzips my dress, helping me take it off.

I feel shy, even though Edward has seen me naked hundreds of times before, during, and after my pregnancy. But my body has changed. There are squishy bits that make me feel unsexy. I eye Edward as he lies on his side next to me. His eyes are… reverent. Hungry.

"You're so beautiful, baby," he whispers, as if he has been reading my thoughts. He kisses my neck, sucking on the tender pulse point under my ear. He'll give me a hickey, and I love it.

"Beautiful," he repeats, and his warm breath washes over my skin as he kisses a path to my chest, peppering my breasts with little kisses through my bra. It's a pretty, dark-blue lacy thing despite being a nursing bra. Edward likes it, making very appreciative noises. He doesn't open the bra, or move it out of the way, just keeps kissing me while he murmurs words of adoration. My hands are back in his hair and I close my eyes and relax.

"Baby." His mouth is on mine suddenly, and he nips at my lips. "We don't have to do anything, you know that. Just tell me what you're comfortable with…" He swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. His eyes glisten in the yellow light from the bedside lamp.

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him.

"I'm comfortable with you," I whisper. "I love you so much, Edward. I want you so much. It's just… I guess I'm afraid that things might be different…"

"I get that." He places two small kisses on my lips. "That's why I want you to tell me what feels good, or if anything I do doesn't… This is new to me, too."

"I know, darling." I tug at his lower lip. "I really, really want you…"

"Good." He smiles, his eyes crinkling at the sides. "Because I want you too. I want to feast on your body…" He kisses my breast, scrambling lower on the bed so he can kiss my belly. For a moment, I cringe and bite my lip. My belly is soft and round and nothing like it used to be; he can't find that attractive.

"God, you're so beautiful," Edward mumbles against my skin. He licks over my bellybutton. "I love your belly… Beautiful belly…" He kisses and licks and kisses until I forget to feel self-conscious, especially when Edward pulls at my thigh-highs, rolling them down each leg and kissing every inch of newly revealed skin. He kisses my calves and knees, and my thighs. He kisses my hip, and then he kisses me through the lace of my panties, and his hot breath makes me shudder once more.

Slowly, he pulls my underwear down, continuing his kisses and caresses. By the time he has reached the inside of my thighs, he tenderly spreads my legs open. Soft, soft lips, contrasting tickly stubble.

"_Ah_!"

His tongue darts out, and I am in heaven. He makes all those noises, clearly conveying that he enjoys what he's doing. So do I.

He licks. He sucks, carefully at first, but getting bolder when I groan and writhe in pleasure. One finger travels between my lips, circling in a wordless question.

"Oh, God, _please_…"

And enter the magic finger. Just one, long and cautious. He keeps kissing and licking me, and it doesn't take long until I am digging my hands into the mattress, crying out his name as I shatter into a billion pieces and fireworks go off inside me. And it doesn't stop for quite a while. I keep trembling and groaning, pushing myself against him. He only slows his movements when I slow down too, placing more kisses on me that make me shudder all over again.

"Oh, my God." I'm panting as if I'd run a marathon.

Edward chuckles. He kisses my thigh, my hip, my belly, and I can feel my own wetness on my skin. He flops down next to me. He looks adorable, his hair a total disaster, his cheeks flushed. He's also poking my waist.

"Fuck," I wheeze. "That was… incredible."

"Yeah…" He kisses my shoulder. "You're so sexy, baby."

"I think it's you who's the sexy one, mister." I turn to my side and hook my leg around his waist. "And I think I'm going to show you exactly what I mean by that now…"

**Oo=oO**

**A/N:**

**I had to stop here and split this chapter in two, so I hope you don't mind if the next one starts with the second half of this lemon? **

**Okay, didn't think you would.**

**Much love, and don't forget to review! Thank you to everyone who does and has done. Each new chapter receives around 800 hits, but only about 20 reviews. Come on guys, it only takes one second! And would make me sooooo happy!**

**See you on Saturday!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	44. Ever and Ever Yours

**A/N:**

**Thank you, my dearest dellaterra.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 44: **Ever and Ever Yours**

**EDWARD**

I have heard that a woman's sexuality can change after childbirth. Bella and I always had a great sex life, right up until about two weeks before Lizzie was born, when she was getting increasingly uncomfortable. But this, just now?

_Wow._

She totally exploded. She was like a warehouse of fireworks that had been set on fire. It was hot as hell.

I bend over her and kiss her softly. I can still taste her on my tongue, and now she can too, and it's wet and carnal. I am so hard, and have been for such a long time. I still don't want to overwhelm her or make her uncomfortable, but I think…

"Edward." She bites my neck.

My hands can't get enough of her body. It has changed – of course it has – and I love it. So soft and womanly and utterly delicious. I could eat her up. Well, I just did, sort of.

Bella's fingers are busily working on my pants, brushing every so often against my erection. She manages to open them and push them down with her toes. Her heels dig into my buttocks as she draws me closer, and there's nothing between us but the cotton of my boxer briefs.

"Am I too heavy?" I mumble.

"No, no, you feel so good, so good…" Her breath is hot as she licks my neck. "Can you take off those freakin' pants now, please?"

Um.

"Yes, ma'am," I say as I hasten to get rid of the offending garment.

"Underpants too," Bella demands.

And I almost come. Fuck, I love it when she tells me what to do in bed.

I throw my underwear somewhere and she pulls me close, immediately wrapping her legs around me.

"Mmm, can you take off your bra now?" I am already pulling at the straps.

"Yeah, but…" She bites her lip.

"But?" I kiss the spot where I gave her a hickey earlier.

"There will be… leakage." She swallows. "I mean, there already is…"

"And do you think I would mind?" I kiss her softly. "Bella, the fact that gave birth to our baby, and that you are nurturing her, that's the most beautiful thing to me… Your body… your body is so sexy…" I have to swallow. "But I understand if you –"

Bella moves and opens the clasps of her bra. She throws it over the bedpost.

"Happy?" she grins.

"Very," I whisper as I stare at her beautiful, beautiful big breasts.

"You're such a boob man," she giggles, and my heart dances at that sound. Bella has no reason to worry about her body. Of course it changed during the pregnancy, but the fact that she carried our child makes her even sexier in my eyes. I don't give a fuck if she hasn't lost her baby weight. I don't care if she never does. She's my goddess, my Bella.

I smother her lips with mine again, and soon we are making out all over the bed, kissing, licking, sucking and touching as we roll around. We moan and groan and mumble, and she feels so good… I don't know how much longer I can keep it up.

"Edward," she whispers breathlessly, "please…" She pulls me on top of her.

While we keep kissing, which gets even wetter and sloppier, I run my hand between her legs and start to stroke her, at which she moans softly and bites my shoulder. She's wet, but not as wet as I am used to. Should we use a lubricant?

She wraps her fingers around me and begins to stroke me as well, keeping in rhythm with my own caresses.

"Bella… baby… Uh." I grab her hand. "Please…"

"What?" Her eyes are big with alarm.

"I'm… we don't have to…"

"Edward," she says breathlessly. "I _want_ to. _Please."_

"Okay," I mumble. "But you have to promise me… if you feel uncomfortable for a second, you say so."

"Yes…" She licks her lips.

"Immediately."

"Yes."

"I love you." I kiss her. "So, so much."

She's hot. So hot, swollen and hot, and welcoming. Carefully, I dip into her, just an inch or so, watching her face.

"Okay?" My voice is hoarse.

"Yeah…" She sounds like molten chocolate. "Yes…"

I go further, as slowly as I can.

_Oh my God._

Bella bites her lip, and I stop.

"Just a second," she says, her breathing heavy. "Don't move, okay?"

"Are you all right, baby?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just need to get used to this." She squeezes her eyes shut for a second. "Okay. Go slow, will you?"

"Bella, I… Are you hurting?"

"No, it's just…" She opens her eyes and kisses me softly. "I'm great, baby. You feel so good."

"I love you," I whisper.

"I love you too. I think I'm ready to go now."

"Are you sure?"

At that, she wraps her legs around my waist and draws me in, her heels digging into my butt, which makes me thrust into her, and we both groan. Oh my God, she feels so, so good.

"Is this… ooh, is this okay?" I ask, our hot breaths melting together again.

"Yes… Yes…"

Her hands are on both sides of my face, eyes wide open, watching me as I move in and out of her.

"So, so good," she moans.

"Good… good," I echo her, and our mouths meet in a wet, sloppy kiss.

Could it really be that we were made for each other? Because that's what it feels like. Our bodies are so… perfect. I fit into her like a puzzle piece. I've never had this connection with anyone but Bella. My beautiful Bella. My beautiful wife. My goddess.

"I love you," she mumbles against my lips. "Can you… can you go faster?"

And once again, I'm close to coming.

"Ohmygood," she groans. "Ohfuckyes. _Yes, yes, yes_…"

Our pants are mixing with our moans while our lips stay connected. Licking, biting, sucking.

"God, oh, yes. Oh… Oh, yes… Edward… Oh…Ohhhh… Ahhh… Ohhh, ohhh…."

She bites down on my shoulder as she comes, and I try to not go too roughly, but I can't help it, thrusting into her wildly until my release washes over me and I still, a small whimper escaping my lips.

I collapse on top of Bella, my face in the crook of her neck.

Both of us are fighting for breath. Our skin is sticky and wet, and we're unable to speak for some time.

"I love you," I mumble into the salty skin of her neck.

"I love you too," she replies, kissing my damp hair.

I finally manage to scramble up on my elbow and look at her.

"Hi," I grin sheepishly.

"Hi," she whispers, her voice all hoarse and sultry.

"You good?"

"Fantastic," she smiles, lifting her head and placing a long and tender kiss on my lips. "You?"

"Fuck-tastic," I grin. I move a little to relieve her of my weight, and place my head on her stomach, just beneath her breasts. I kiss her skin. "You're beautiful, and I love you so much. This was…"

"Amazing," she giggles, her fingers stroking though my hair.

"Yeah." I kiss her breast, so soft and milky white.

I'm getting drowsy. I don't want to fall asleep with my head on Bella's stomach, so I move a little. She mewls at the loss of contact, much like Lizzie.

I kiss her shoulder and neck and she turns around so I can spoon her.

"I love you," I whisper into her hair.

Her small, soft body is my place of worship.

**BELLA**

I sit up in panic, looking around in our darkened bedroom.

Where is Lizzie?

What's going on?

My breathing gets heavy, my heart beating in panic.

Oh.

_Oh!_

Spotting a sleeping Edward by my side, I relax. I remember.

We had mind-blowing sex and our daughter is with his parents. Everything is good. I check the time on the alarm clock; it's three-thirty. Normally I would be awake, feeding Lizzie.

But this is not "normal"; this is our first night of being together again. I smile and place my head on Edward's chest and he responds in his sleep, making appreciative noises and snuggling up to me, pulling me closer.

Relaxing, I place a soft kiss on his chest, breathing his scent in. It's pure Edward. I love it. I kiss him again, his chest hair tickling my nose, and I have to giggle.

"Yes?" Edward mumbles in his sleep. "Doctor Cullenbear speaking…"

"Edward Bear?" I say it out loud, because we share this love for Winnie the Pooh, and Edward told me ages ago that the real name of the character is Edward Bear.

"Huh?" Edward moves slightly, and I can tell he's waking up.

Shit!

"Mmm…" He sighs. "Hi…" He puts a kiss on my forehead.

We turn around until he is able to wrap his arms around me, his chest pressed against my back once more.

"Hi," I whisper. He may not be fully awake, but one part of him is standing at attention. I grab his hand and kiss his fingertips. Edward sighs happily.

I take his middle finger between my lips and suck a little. Just a little, but I can feel him harden by my thigh.

Both of us are naked, and when I wiggle my ass against him, things shape up rather quickly. He reaches around and slips his hand in between my legs. Long, tender fingers caress and tease me.

"Ohhh…"

I wiggle my ass more, moving around until I'm sure that he is able to feel my excitement. And I can feel the tip of his penis. Right where I want it.

"Edward," I moan.

And we're connected again. He enters me slowly, his stubble scraping my neck. My lady parts tell me that we did this not long ago, and that they still feel like relaxing after birthing a human being, but it also feels utterly fantastic.

"God, yes," I moan. "Yes, Edward…"

And again, I am carried away on waves of pleasure, moaning deeply each time he enters me. His fingers are rubbing gently, teasing and massaging, I can't hold back any longer, my groans muffled by the pillow.

Edward's movements become quicker and slightly erratic, and moments later, he presses into me, holding me close, growling deep in his throat.

We lie very still, his hand on my thigh, the other one on my breast. He kisses the back of my neck. I'm getting drowsy again.

"Oh, my love," he mumbles into my hair.

"Sweet dreams," I whisper before finally succumbing to sleep once more.

I wake to the smell of bacon and pancakes, and the sensation of Edward's soft lips on mine.

"Mmm…"

"Hey, sleepyhead," he whispers, and I open my eyes. Edward looks deliciously tousled. The sun is shining in through the windows.

"This smells so good," I sigh. "Just give me a minute."

When I rejoin him in bed after a moment in the bathroom, he has set up the breakfast tray, and we eagerly dig into our food. When we're finished, we snuggle up to each other. It's shortly after ten, so we have some time left before we need to go to Edward's parents.

"Eager to get her back?" Edward murmurs. He runs his toe up and down my shin. His green eyes are wide and alive.

"A little," I admit.

"Me too," he says, kissing my neck. "Though I wouldn't have missed last night for anything." He kisses me again, then chuckles softly.

"What?"

"You're going to have to wear a turtleneck," he murmurs.

"Oh, I knew it!" I pretend to grumble. "You gave me a hickey!"

"I'm sorry." He doesn't sound sorry. He continues to place small, warm kisses on my skin, so I close my eyes again and enjoy.

It's almost noon when we arrive at Esme and Carlisle's. Esme greets us in the hallway, beaming happily, hugging us both.

"Hey Mom." Edward kisses her cheek. "How was she?" He seems even more impatient than I am to have Lizzie back in his arms.

"She's such an angel," Esme says. "She woke us twice during the night, and then again at six-thirty. Carlisle insisted on being the one to feed her each time." She smiles, linking her arms through Edward's and mine and walking us into the living room.

Sunlight is streaming in through the large French windows leading to the garden. When we reach it, Carlisle is sitting on the couch with our daughter in his arms. He looks very serene, if a little tired, getting up when we enter the room.

"Bella, Edward," he greets us. His sharp blue eyes are full of warmth. He kisses my cheek. "You must have missed her." Carefully, he places our little bundle into my arms, and I feel tears prick at my eyes.

Edward and Carlisle hug each other before Edward kisses Lizzie's fluffy head, lingering a moment. Our eyes meet and he smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Will you stay for lunch?" Esme asks.

After I've fed Lizzie, I rejoin the family in the living room, where Esme and Carlisle are telling Edward every little detail of our baby's stay. Later, we have delicious roast chicken with carrots and rice. When he speaks about her, Carlisle's eyes light up. He is totally besotted with his granddaughter, and Edward grins happily.

We're through with our coffee and ginger tea when Lizzie begins to mewl softly in her carrycot.

"I'll get her," Edward says, placing down his cup as he gets up. "Hello, my sweet girl," he coos to her. "You're hungry, aren't you? Yes, you are…" He walks to the kitchen, murmuring on.

"He's so happy, Bella," Esme remarks. "I've never seen him so happy."

"Indeed," Carlisle says. He looks thoughtful, taking a sip of coffee. "I never understood that this, what you have now, is what Edward has always wanted."

"He's a perfect daddy," I say, and right then, the perfect daddy reenters the room with our baby and the bottle he warmed for her. He sits back down next to me and feeds her, looking almost as content as she does herself.

Conversation continues easily, a lot of it centering around Lizzie. Esme asks what we did last night, and I actually blush a little.

"We had the best steak in town," Edward replies, telling his parents about Weber's Steakhouse while I sigh with relief, feeling a bit silly. We're married; I just had a baby, and Edward's parents know how those are made!

I think that Edward notices my reaction because a moment later, he looks at me from the corner of his eye, and he's smirking.

Later, I help Esme clean the dishes while Edward and Carlisle chat about some medical magazine, their tone light and relaxed.

"I haven't seen those two like that in twenty-five years," Esme chuckles. "Thank you for bringing this child into the world!"

"My pleasure," I smile.

Carlisle is holding Lizzie again when we return, while Edward has Art, the black cat, on his lap. A perfect idyll. I stand behind Edward and place my hands on his shoulders, tickling the nape of his neck, bending down to kiss his ear.

"I love you," I whisper. He kisses my fingers in response.

Esme and Carlisle, bantering cutely, don't notice our little exchange.

"Now give her to me," Esme scolds. "I want to hold her again before they're going to rudely snatch her away! You've been monopolizing her all this time!"

Edward slowly shakes his head.

"You're going to see her again, Mom. You're going to _watch_ her again, I hope."

"Yes, but they grow so quickly. It seems like yesterday that you were sitting in your little highchair, throwing broccoli at your sister's head!"

I giggle, and Edward grins.

"I don't know which sister you're referring to, but I'm sure she deserved it."

"Gosh, I remember that," Carlisle chuckles. "You hated broccoli with a passion!"

Everyone laughs, and it's beautiful to see Edward and Carlisle so carefree with each other. Esme winks at me.

We stay for another hour or so before we make our way back home. Lizzie is asleep and I close my eyes for a few moments too, Chopin's prelude in E minor lulling me into a light sleep.

"We're home, baby," he whispers against my cheek, and I smile.

Edward takes Lizzie out of her seat, speaking softly to her. "I think she's hungry again," he says as we ride up in the elevator. "Aren't you, my sweetheart? All fussy?"

We get comfortable on the sofa, Edward's arm slung around my shoulder, and I place Lizzie against my breast. She starts sucking, her eyes closed, her little fingers spread on my naked skin.

Edward kisses my temple, his lips tender as he murmurs.

"This is so beautiful. You two. My two beautiful girls."

**BELLA**

Carefully, I hand over our little pea so Edward can burp her. He gently pats her back, kissing her head. Esme is right: He's never been so happy. This is what he always wanted.

I rebutton my cardigan, watching my two loves.

"There you go," Edward murmurs. "A very ladylike burp, Miss Cullen." He changes her position so she's resting in the crook of his arm. Her tiny fingers wrap around his pinkie, and she watches us with big eyes.

"She looks so much like you," Edward whispers. "Those huge eyes."

"But her lips are like yours. And her hair…"

I put my head on his shoulder. We watch our daughter fall asleep.

"I'll lay her down." Edward gets up and places her in her cradle. He carried it downstairs, so she can sleep here. When she's in the nursery, she sleeps in her bassinet.

It's getting dark outside, and Edward lights the fireplace. He stretches his arms, and his shirt rides up a bit, displaying the line of hair that runs into his jeans. He grins as he realizes where I'm looking.

"Are you staring at my crotch, Isabella?" He slowly crosses the room until he's directly in front of me.

"Maybe," I reply, suggestively licking my lips.

I'm glad about last night. In a way, it physically reestablished us as a couple. We're both now – parents and lovers.

Edward sits back down next to me and pulls me in his arms. He kisses my cheek, and the corner of my mouth.

"I'm very happy about last night, do you know that?"

"Mmm, so am I…"

"Not just for the obvious reasons." I can feel him smile. "But because I love being that close to you. Because we belong to each other."

"We do," I whisper, and my lips meet his in a long and loving kiss.

Edward is happier than ever before, and so am I.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for the overwhelming response to the last chapter, you guys are fabulous!**

**Have a wonderful weekend – the last chapter will post on Wednesday, followed by the epilogue on Saturday…**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	45. Two Big Eyes

**A/N:**

**I still don't own Twilight.**

**The fantastic dellaterra still is my beta, which still makes me proud.**

**And here, dearest readers, and with a heavy heart, I post the last chapter… **

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

Chapter 44: **Two Big Eyes**

**BELLA**

Yawning, I place Lizzie in her rocker. She gurgles, drooly bubbles forming at the corner of her mouth as she grins.

Nothing makes my heart sing as much as my daughter's gummy smile. The first time she did it, Edward and I freaked out, because it was very obvious that it was a real smile. It wasn't gas or a yawn. It was a _smile. _She was smiling at _us_. At her _parents_.

I still get shivers down my spine when I think of us that way. We had nine months to prepare and four months to get used to the fact, but, oh man. We're parents. We made this gorgeous little person, and we'll always be responsible for her. She's the greatest gift, ever, and everything changed with her arrival. Not just the everyday stuff, but my whole outlook on life.

Brewing coffee, I yawn again. I have grown used to the constant tiredness, but it's getting better. Lizzie now sleeps for six hours at night. Sleep has always been my friend, but now it's one of those friends you haven't seen in such a long time that it's welcomed back into your life with the greatest respect and joy.

It's still snowing heavily outside, big white flakes tumbling down. Since I already fed Lizzie, and expressed milk for today, I have a cup of coffee. Cedric hops on my lap the second I sit down, purring contentedly when I scratch behind his ears. Lizzie watches us with big eyes. Her eyes were a dark blue when she was born, but have since turned the same color as mine.

Edward explained the whole dominant and recessive genes thing to me the other day, but I actually fell asleep. Not because I wasn't interested; I was just so tired.

"Hey." A sleepy Edward is leaning against the kitchen door, wearing pajama pants, a T-shirt that says "Does this shirt make me look like a cardiologist?" and a cute smile. The shirt, of course, was Emmett's Christmas gift.

"Hey." I smile back at him and he bends down to kiss me before he turns and lifts Lizzie into his arms. She grins immediately, basking in his attention.

"Good morning, my darling," he coos. "How are you? Are you good? You're so pretty…"

He kisses her fluffy head, inhaling her baby scent. He looks really tired, having returned home only at two in the morning. Lizzie woke us at her usual time at five-thirty via the baby monitor and he insisted on collecting her from the nursery. I've told him dozens of times to just get earplugs, but he won't listen. Pun not intended.

Lizzie grins and drools on his chest.

"It's your big day," Edward tells her. "Today you will be named, you know?" He blows a raspberry on her neck, and Lizzie squeals happily. It's the most beautiful sound in the world.

I pour him a cup of coffee, which he gratefully takes once he's sat down with Lizzie on his lap. She's flailing her little arms, and makes that "_bbb_" sound she learned last week. She's really able to communicate her needs rather well by now, even if Edward and I are the only people who understand her. Her personality is showing more with every passing day, and I like to think that she takes after Edward. She's stable and grounded, not discouraged easily when things go wrong in her small world. Well, we'll see how it goes when the minister splashes water on her head.

We wanted to have the baptism in December, but then Seth had to leave for a photo shoot in Barcelona, so we postponed it to the middle of January. Dad and Sue arrived two days ago, but they're staying with Leah and Sam, saying that we were having enough on our plates with a four-month-old who isn't sleeping through the night. I check the clock next to Edward's framed _2001: A Space Odyssey _poster. We have two hours until we need to be at the church.

"I'll make breakfast," Edward says and gets up, placing Lizzie in my arms. While he sets to work, I cuddle with my little girl, kissing her chubby cheeks and playing with her toes, which are clad in pink socks with monkeys on them. I will never get enough of her baby smell, or the touch of her soft skin. She's smiling and grabbing at my nose.

"You like my nose, don't you," I chuckle. "But you like Daddy's nose more, right?" I get up and we join Edward as he makes scrambled eggs.

"Hello my lovely girls," he smiles immediately. He pulls the frying pan off the stove and kisses first me and then Lizzie, wrapping us in his arms. Lizzie smiles and touches his ear, at which Edward coos and she pats his cheek with her small, pudgy hand.

"I love you," Edward sighs, addressing both of us. His smile is warm, happy and immensely sweet.

"We love you too," I whisper, pecking his lips with a small kiss.

We sit down and have breakfast then, Lizzie on Edward's lap making it difficult for him to eat. This tiny being, who is not yet able to sit on her own, rules our whole world.

**EDWARD**

Oh dear. Lizzie doesn't like being put into her christening robe. It does look a bit uncomfortable, being made of old lace from Brussels. It's probably scratchy on her hands, and she is fidgeting and looks very unhappy.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," I tell her. "I know this isn't as comfy as your Pooh robe…" I lift her up and kiss her cheek, hoping that I'll be able to divert the crying fit that is coming.

"But it's your big day," I murmur on, "and everyone is waiting to celebrate you. I know this dress is old and scratchy, but just imagine that I had to wear it too. So did Auntie Alice and Auntie Rose, and even Grandma Esme. Her mom made this dress," I tell her, "She had the same name as you, you know? Elizabeth."

Lizzie doesn't give a full diaper.

Her face scrunches and turns red, and her breathing gets heavy. Three seconds later, she is crying desperately, and I am rocking her, murmuring soothing words that never reach her.

When Bella enters the nursery, I am pacing to and fro with Lizzie in my arms. She's still fussy, but sucking on her pacifier, and her face isn't so red anymore. Bella is dressed in the prettiest dark blue dress, complete with heels and black stockings.

She's so beautiful.

We hardly see each other dressed up these days. We're in sweatpants and spit-covered T-shirts. Which is wonderful.

But the sight of her…

"Wow," I mumble.

"Wow, yourself," Bella replies, her eyes dancing to our daughter, who is falling asleep in my arms. "You look hot, Dr. Cullen."

"So do you, Mrs. Cullen," I whisper, careful not to wake our daughter.

She's sucking on her pacifier, her tiny face relaxing. Bella kisses her cheek.

"Ready to go?"

Almost everyone is already at the church, standing in the vestibule and chatting. There's a great hurrah when the person of the day arrives. She is less cranky after her nap in the car, beaming as Charlie lifts her in his arms. She grins and grabs his nose. Lizzie adores her grandfather just as much as he does her. Actually, she likes just about anybody. She's a happy baby, curious and friendly.

We greet everyone. Alice is totally excited, barely able to stop fidgeting, which amuses Jasper, while Seth looks very nervous. Collin keeps squeezing his hand, and I'm glad to see that they seem to have overcome their problems, whatever they were. Mom hugs me for the third time.

"I'm so happy, Edward. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Mom." I kiss her cheek one more time.

And then it's time for us to take our seats. There are about forty of us, sitting in the first few rows of the church. It's a beautiful place, the pale winter sun beaming in through the colorful stained glass windows.

Pastor Masen starts to speak. I've known this guy all my life. He was the one who baptized me thirty-nine years ago. His speech is beautiful. He talks about love, and how we have to cherish it, and about the wonder of a child resulting from that love.

I really like him; he's cool. He's in his seventies, retired, and is only doing this as a favor to Mom and Dad. And cool he is, telling us, in his own way, that sex is a fantastic thing.

Bella squeezes my hand and smiles at me from under long lashes.

Lizzie doesn't make a peep, only waking when we step forward to the baptismal font. She grins at me, and then yawns.

Pastor Masen speaks more words, but I'm not really listening, because I'm looking at my beautiful daughter. He asks about the godparents, and Alice and Seth step forward, Alice beaming with excitement, Seth looking rather twitchy.

"What name shall be given to this child?"

"Elizabeth Noelle Cullen," Bella replies.

"Elizabeth Noelle Cullen, I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

Lizzie doesn't mind the water on her head, flinching slightly with surprise but staying quite calm. Bella and Alice wipe at their eyes, and I can see Mom do the same in the first row. Even Rose has watery eyes. Sue blows her nose.

And Elizabeth Noelle Cullen?

She gives us the most enchanting, toothless grin the world has ever seen.

**BELLA**

Weber's Steakhouse was a bit surprised when we asked if it was possible to have a baptism reception, but easily agreed. After Angela talked to her cousin, things got even easier. Alice and Seth were glad to organize the little party, and here we are.

The fireplace in the middle of the room is creaking, a lovely fire making the place look even more like a cabin in the Alps. Waiters and waitresses are offering trays with champagne, water and juice.

Edward has his arm around my waist, smiling as we chat with Demetri and his wife Heidi. Lizzie is in her Uncle Jasper's arms. He is trying to enchant her with his southern lilt. And I think he is succeeding!

It's funny to see how jealous Edward gets over his daughter's affections. I always tell him that he should be happy she's such a relaxed baby.

"Really," Heidi says. "She's the cutest little thing ever!"

"Yes," Edward smiles. "We did a good job."

I fondly shake my head.

Sometime later, we sit down for lunch, while the star of the day has fallen asleep in her stroller after Seth fed her.

Our lunch starts out perfectly: a creamy cress soup.

I lick my lips, and a spoon tinkles against a glass.

Dad stands up.

"I'm not going to keep you from this delicious lunch," he says. "I just want to say that we're all incredibly happy about this new addition to the family. And you, Bella and Edward, will be the best parents on earth." He raises his glass, I dab at my eyes, and everyone starts eating.

Conversation is light and easy. It's wonderful to see everyone. Leah and Sam, Charlotte and Peter, Ben and Angela. Our glasses get refilled and, thanking the waitress, I remember that this used to be my job a few years ago. I'm happier now, but not just because I don't have to do this job anymore but because I have arrived. Arrived at my destination.

I nuzzle Edward's neck with my nose for a second, never minding that he is talking with Pastor Masen. He responds, stroking my thigh under the table.

The main course arrives – the specialty of the house, prime rib – and it looks fantastic. Everyone got to choose their own side orders, and the vegetarians are served a yummy pasta dish. I want to drown in my steak, baked potato and green beans.

"Happy?" Edward wipes a bit of sour cream off the corner of my mouth.

"Absolutely." I kiss him swiftly.

"I love you," he whispers against my lips.

"And I love you," I reply.

Behind us, a soft cry becomes a loud scream, and I get up to collect our hungry daughter, leaving my perfect steak behind. Edward changed her into a yellow romper as soon as we arrived, complaining that baby care rooms were always in the ladies' restrooms.

I retrieve Lizzie's bottle from the diaper bag.

"Let me do it?" Seth asks eagerly.

"Oh, keep eating," I say.

"I'd really love to do it," he says.

So I place Lizzie in his arms and he bottle-feeds her, grinning happily.

My steak almost melts in my mouth. Conversation is lively, laughter echoing around the table. Dad and Esme are chatting eagerly, and Jasper, Leah and Demetri are discussing the state of the world. Carlisle talks with Sue, smiling about something she says. It's perfect.

So is our dessert. We chose a red velvet cake, and everyone oohs and aahs happily. Edward smirks as he watches me from the corner of his eye.

"Like your cake, love?"

"Love it," I grin.

Later, we unwrap all the beautiful gifts our baby received. She's going to be the most spoiled kid in Manhattan if this continues, especially with a dad that she had around her little finger the second she was born. Before that, even. Right now, she is on Grandpa Carlisle's lap and is chewing on his tie.

It's getting dark when we return home. Dad and Sue will be over for brunch tomorrow before we go sightseeing. Edward has two consecutive days off, which is a rare occurrence, but I'm not going to complain. He always tries to be home for dinner, and he insists on having two free days a week. Sharing his position with Ben was the smartest thing to do, and both of them profit from it.

Edward sits in the glider with Lizzie in his arms, singing softly to her. I lean against the doorframe and watch them, and my heart is close to overflowing with love. And I think I want more.

More babies. I know Edward does. Not for another year or so, but… Yeah. Definitely.

"Sweet dreams, my sweet," Edward murmurs once he has put Lizzie in her crib. He checks the baby monitor and crosses the short distance between us. He pulls me in his arms and kisses my forehead. His lips are soft and tender.

"What a wonderful day," he whispers. "I'm a lucky guy. Such a beautiful wife and daughter…" He sighs sentimentally.

"Well, I'm pretty lucky too, you know."

"Are you?" His breath is warm against my skin.

"Yup. You're easy to look at…" I tease.

"You only like me for my body," he sighs.

"You're quite funny too. And you can cook."

"I see," he whispers, and I can feel him smile. "I've always suspected that you married me so you can take pleasure from my body, mind, and kitchen skills."

"Kitchen skills, huh?" I giggle, standing on my tiptoes so I can kiss him. "I haven't seen those in a while, Chef Cullen."

At that, he lifts me up and I have to stifle my surprised shriek as I wrap my legs around him.

"I'm going to show you some of my skills right now, Mrs. Cullen," he growls, softly biting my neck as he carries me to the bedroom. "But they will not include food, or jokes."

"Oh no?" I giggle. Edward sets me down on the bed, but I don't remove my legs from around his torso, effectively drawing him with me, and on top of me, which is right where I want him. His weight feels deliciously exciting.

"Oh, baby," he whispers against my lips before he kisses me hotly and hungrily. My hands dive into his hair. I can feel him through the material of his dress pants, large and hard, making my whole body tingle in anticipation.

Between wet and lustful kisses, I manage to open all the buttons of Edward's shirt and throw it on the floor. My hands roam his back, landing on his butt. I pull him closer still. His lips move lower, to my neck and collarbone. He sucks and nibbles and kisses, and I moan into his hair. His hand sneaks under my dress, kneading and caressing.

"You feel so good," he whispers breathlessly. "So good…"

"Help me out of this dress and I'll feel even better…"

Together we take off my dress and tights. My hands get busy with his pants, and it takes mere seconds until we're both naked, and I am straddling his thighs. We continue to kiss sloppily while we also touch and fondle and grope.

"Isabella," Edward whispers, his fingers sliding into my hotness.

"Oh, God…" I shudder with pleasure.

He pumps in and out while his thumb teases me. I almost come, but I want him, and I tell him so. Edward's eyes get large and dark with want as I sink down on him and he fills me. We groan in unison. He feels so good inside me.

We watch each other as I begin to move on top of him. We don't need words to communicate our love. Our bodies show each other. We're hot and the sounds we make – skin on skin, moans and grunts – are incredibly arousing. The pressure increases, and I am moving frantically. Edward's thumb returns to my most sensitive spot, and I know I won't last much longer. From the way his fingers dig into my hips and he lifts me up and presses me down, neither will he.

I sink forward until my breasts are touching his chest. Our breaths mingle and we are looking at each other as a huge wave of pleasure overwhelms us, leaving us twitching and trembling.

When it's over, I collapse on Edward's body, both of us panting heavily. We're wet with sweat. We taste and smell like sex.

"You okay?" Edward chuckles, still fighting for breath. He kisses my temple.

"Yeah," I mumble into his chest.

We're quiet until our breathing evens out. I kiss Edward's neck. His hands are spread out across my buttocks.

"Well, fuck me," he whispers happily, and I have to giggle.

"I think I just did."

He squeezes my ass.

"I love you so much." His voice is deep and soft and sincere. "So much."

"I love you just as much." I move a little so I can capture his lips with mine. It's a long and very tender kiss, telling of our feelings. Sometimes I am almost sure that our hearts are connected invisibly.

=====oOo=====

"Mmm… What?"

Edward's head is on my shoulder, our arms entwined. I'm already awake while he is still mumbling. Lizzie is waking, whining softly. We have about two more minutes before she will begin to cry.

Edward nuzzles my neck, his arm winding closer around me.

"Bella…" he murmurs.

I kiss the top of his head and try to disentangle from his death grip. He grumbles, but lets me go. I can tell that he is slowly waking up as well. It might be because the sounds from the baby monitor are getting rather… convincing. This girl wants food, and pronto.

I leave our bed and grab my robe on the way to the nursery.

"Hey, sweetie," I murmur, gathering Lizzie in my arms. "Yeah, I know, you're hungry." I kiss her fluffy head and she calms a little. I sit down in the glider and open my robe. For breakfast, I'm always breastfeeding her. It's the easiest when you're half-asleep.

It's still dark outside, and I'm getting sleepy again.

Lizzie latches on eagerly. I will miss these times when I'm on my own little planet with my baby. How content she is when she eats. How I love her. I would do anything and everything for this little human being.

I switch her to my other breast.

Will _my girls_ ever look as they did before?

Probably not.

I sigh, and Lizzie opens her eyes, staring at me while she sucks. Although her eyes are the same color as mine, they remind me of Edward's with their almond-shaped slant. Or maybe I'm imagining things.

I close my eyes and yawn. Incredible post-baptism sex with your husband is incredible, but leaves you very, very tired. Especially if you follow the sex with lots of talking. And more sex.

Much better than red velvet cake.

"Oh, hi."

Cedric has joined us, sneaking around my bare feet. "Yes, mister, you're getting yours in a moment, okay?"

His eyes glimmer in the yellow light of the lamps.

"Yes," I say, tickling his fur with my big toe. "You are Mastercat, master of the universe."

He purrs like a little lawnmower. He is such a good boy, understanding that the tiny creature who joined us four-and-a-half months ago needs to be protected. Whenever people come to our place, he acts like a watchdog, sitting on the threshold to the nursery or wherever Lizzie is, trying to look dangerous and stern. His tail will beat around wildly whenever someone he doesn't know approaches our daughter and one time, he hissed.

Lizzie is finished, almost falling asleep again, so I hold her against my body, her little face over my shoulder. She burps almost immediately, and I'm glad that I have a cloth over my shoulder. We've grown used to the smell of sour milk on our clothes, but still...

"Mee-ow!"

"Yes, sir."

With Lizzie in my arms, I make my way downstairs. The stairwell, which held family pictures when I first met Edward, is now decorated with many more photographs: Edward and me, blown-up party pictures that Seth took and developed in black and white. I love the one where neither Edward nor I had one drop of alcohol, because we already knew that I was pregnant, but we hadn't yet told anyone. He is standing behind me with his hands on my belly, and we don't notice that Seth is snapping a picture. We're looking at each other, our little secret between us.

"Mee-_ow_!"

Cedric shows his indignation, so I hurry up. Once we're in the kitchen, I give him a goodly portion of stinky cat food and he happily digs in.

I walk to the living room and sit down on the sofa, a sleeping Lizzie in my arms. She's getting pretty heavy, and I grab a pillow and place it under my elbow to relieve my arm.

"Hey, baby."

Edward sits down on the armrest and kisses my hair. He yawns.

"Why don't you go back to sleep? I'll join you in a moment," I say.

"Hmm." He kisses my forehead. "Sounds good. You should both join me, I think." He smiles at Lizzie, who is conked out. "Because my girl loves cuddly time with her daddy."

He's right of course. She does.

Edward yawns again. He's adorable, stubbly and tired, his hair messier than ever.

"Sorry," he chuckles. "But you sure wore me out last night."

"Come on then," I say, getting up. "Let's catch up on sleep."

"M'kay…"

He grabs my hand and starts to follow me out of the room, but stops after two or three steps.

"Wow."

"What?" I turn around to look at him, but Edward's eyes aren't on me. He's looking out our large French windows that lead onto the terrace.

Outside, everything is still white with snow. It's dawning, the sun rising in the most spectacular colors of orange and pink, breaking through the dark blue and gray of the night.

"This is amazing," I whisper, and together, we step to the windows to enjoy the sight.

Edward wraps his arms around Lizzie and me, keeping us warm and safe. Cedric plops down at our naked feet, and we're perfect.

This is it, I think.

I am loved, and I love in return. Edward and I have grown so much over the last years, both individually and together. Our love has grown too, the result tangible and visible and soft and small, in our joined arms.

And I know it will continue to grow.

**ooOoOoOoOoOoo**

**A/N:**

**As Bella said: this is it.**

**Thank you for reading, thank you for all the beautiful reviews and inspirations. It was an amazing journey, and I hope you enjoyed it as well. Every word you wrote was important to me – I couldn't have done it without your support! Believe me, it's really hard to post the last chapter after these characters were with me every day for almost two years (counting _You Were There_ as well.)**

**Thank you again, dellaterra, for everything. It means so, so much. You opened so many doors for me.**

**The epilogue will be posted on Saturday.**

**And lastly: PLEASE REVIEW! Can we make it a thousand? Pleeeeaaase?**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	46. Epilogue

EPILOGUE: **Since We've Met**

**oOOoOOo**

"I got it, love."

Edward takes the enormous bowl of pasta salad from me. His smile is carefree and happy, and it makes me stand on my toes so I can kiss him.

"Mmm," he murmurs against my lips. Our mouths melt and it feels so good. It always does, his soft lips moving with mine, his stubble tickling me. We break apart when we hear steps.

"Mom, can I show Anna the film again?"

Lizzie's cheeks are rosy from playing and running around with her cousin. At two years older, Anna is her idol, and Lizzie wants to be exactly like her.

She looks up at me with huge dark eyes. It's hard to believe that my eldest will be going to school this fall. The years have passed with lightning speed. It seems like yesterday that Edward and I looked at the ultrasound monitor that told us we were having a girl.

"Yes, sweetie, but first we're going to have lunch with everybody." I run my hand through her bronze curls. "Can you put the ketchup on the table?"

"Sure!" She takes the bottle I hand her and scampers off.

"Do you need me to take something too?" Anna asks. She looks exactly like Lily did at her age, blonde and blue-eyed and cute – like her beautiful mother.

"That's very sweet of you to ask," I say. "You could actually take this plate with the veggie sausages for your sister."

"Okay," she nods and I hand her the plate. She scrunches up her nose. "It's gross!"

At thirteen years, Lily has decided to become a vegetarian, and now has to stand the mockery of her little sister and her dad, while Rose and I are on her side. Edward just told her that she made a very mature decision, and that she needs to watch her iron intake.

Edward kisses my cheek and makes his way to the garden where everyone is sitting while Emmett flips burgers on the grill. I watch Edward through the double doors, placing the salad on the buffet.

He's joking with Dale's girlfriend, Sophie. Initially, everyone was surprised when Dale announced that he wanted to become a doctor like his granddad and uncle, but he loves what he is doing, and is currently struggling through med school.

Edward returns, sneaking up behind me, hugging me while his hands meet on my stomach. He's kissing my neck, and after a few moments, when his hand settles on the underside of my breast, this is crossing the borders of family-barbecue-appropriate.

"Anything else?" I say, softly wriggling out of his embrace.

"Just the bread." Edward pouts, and he knows that he's disarming me with that look.

I tickle the hair at the back of his head, which always makes him smile. I stroke my thumb over his temple. He never stops complaining, but I love the tiny bits of grey that have sneaked in over the past year. At forty-four, my husband is hotter than ever.

"Okay." He kisses my neck once more, his stubble scraping the tender skin. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I reply. I kiss him. "I'm perfect."

"You're so beautiful." His green eyes twinkle.

A high-pitched wail comes from the garden, and Edward kisses my brow before he heads out.

When I follow him, the picture is so perfect that I want to look at it forever. Everyone is seated around the table, chatting and laughing. Emmett is having a beer while he tends to the grill, and Rose and Sophie are in a discussion about something. Esme has Violet on her lap, telling her a story, which has Seth and Collin relaxed and carefree, smiling at each other and at their three-year-old daughter.

Edward has Carlie, and she's still crying a little, but slowly calming down at her dad's quiet voice. He's always better at that these days. When Edward first suggested taking a year-long sabbatical so he could be with the girls, Carlie was six months old and Lizzie was three. At first I thought he was doing this just for me, so I could take the role I had been offered and get back on the stage. I never expected it to be so hard to part from my babies after I'd been with them almost nonstop all their lives. But it worked, and needless to say, Edward managed brilliantly. He's been back to working full time for almost a year by now, but Carlie still is a daddy's girl.

She looks like him too, from the green eyes to the mop of coppery hair. While Lizzie has inherited Edward's disposition – she's calm and self-confident – Carlie takes after me. She can be shy and nervous, but once she is at ease with a person or situation, she's as happy as a clam.

While Elizabeth Noelle's middle name refers to the date of her conception, Charlotte Florence was named after the place we made her.

She has stopped crying and is sitting on Carlisle's lap, watching intently as Violet giggles when Esme blows a raspberry on her neck.

"Okay," Emmett calls out. "Ready to pounce, folks?"

Lizzie and Anna run to him and carry the plates overflowing with hamburgers and sausages and steaks to the table. Art, the black cat, is sniffing the air with some interest but then goes to lie on the lawn again. I'm reminded of the afternoon I first met him and his brother, Sal, who died a few years ago. Of course, that train of thought reminds me of Cedric, my dear, dear Cedric, who had to be put down after suffering from a stroke when he was fourteen. For a moment, my eyes glisten over with tears, but I remind myself that he is in Cat Heaven, and that we have Georgie and Eric now, two grey brothers that my former acting teacher Miss Cope saved from certain death at a shelter.

I can't help but think back to that afternoon. I was drunk on love for Edward, and intimidated by his family. I overheard Rose and Carlisle making snide comments, and escaped and went home alone on the ferry from Staten Island.

I look at him, cutting pieces of meat for our daughter. He catches me looking at him and the crooked smile I love so much spreads over his face.

We're midway through lunch when the garden door squeaks and Alice and Jasper appear with a cake. Alice's first fashion show in Paris kept them from coming earlier, but here they are, singing "Happy Birthday," and everyone chimes in, including the kids, as the smile on Edward's face becomes impossibly larger.

"Brother dearest," Alice cries, hugging and kissing him. "Happy birthday!"

"Thank you, Ali." He pulls her close. "So good to see you. How was Paris?"

She doesn't get to answer, though, hugging me and kissing my cheeks. "Bella, how are you? I heard about the Tony, these guys must be blind not to have given it to you!"

"It's okay, Ali. Being nominated was so much more than I ever expected!"

"Still," she grumbles. "You deserved it more than anyone."

Carlie claps her hands, shouting, "Awi, Awi!"

Lily practically darts out of her seat to greet her aunt, and Lizzie and Anna follow her, knowing that their Aunt Alice always brings back great gifts from her travels.

While Alice hands out presents to the children, Edward's hand finds its way to my thigh. I look at him, raising an eyebrow. Edward chuckles and eyes me with that mischievous glint I know so well.

"What?" I grin, passing my thumb across the inside of his wrist.

He takes my hand and kisses it.

"Nothing." He shrugs. "I was just thinking that our son is going to suffer the same fate that I had…"

"Which is?"

"Growing up among women," he grins. He puts his hand on my belly, on our son who will be with us in three months.

"Was that so bad?"

Everyone is starting to collect the plates, leaving the table. I know that Lizzie and Carlie are being taken care of and relax into Edward's arms.

"No," he murmurs against my ear. "Did I turn out that bad?"

"No," I smile.

I can feel the baby kick, and I know that Edward feels it too because our son always knows how to draw his dad's attention.

Edward puts his ear against my belly, which is so round now that I can't see my feet any longer.

"Hey, Gilbert," he says softly. "Give your mom some rest, why don't you, buddy?"

The baby kicks again, and Edward chuckles, nudging the same spot with his nose.

"He's coming after you," I say. "Esme told me you were a kicker."

"She did?" He raises his eyebrows in mock horror.

"Uh-huh."

An hour later, Dale and Sophie leave, and Edward makes Dale promise to call him about the test he's facing the following week. Dale agrees to drop off Esme and Carlisle. They're both in their seventies, enjoying old age and traveling a lot. There was a major crisis when Carlisle was diagnosed with prostate cancer three years ago, but he made it, and I think it's even made him more humble. He's the best granddad in the world, and I always feel he's trying to compensate for his and Edward's difficult relationship by being very present and attentive.

"Hey, beautiful girl." Seth sits down next to me on the garden bench. Violet and Carlie are playing with their dads, giggling and falling over a lot.

"Hey, beautiful boy," I reply.

Seth puts his head on my shoulder. "How are you? I hate it that we don't get to talk as much as we used to…"

"So do I." I put my head on top of his. "I'm still wondering how Edward and I are going to manage three instead of two."

Seth is laughing softly. "Col and I still don't know how to manage _one_! And she's been with us for over a year."

"And she is the cutest baby ever!"

Violet is a complete angel. Seth and Collin finally decided to adopt when I was pregnant with Carlie three years ago. They were willing to take in any child that needed parents, no matter what age or nationality, and they were fully prepared to wait indefinitely. No one was more surprised than them when they were asked to fly out to Atlanta to meet a little southern belle named Violet.

She has been through a lot in the short span of her life, and Seth and Collin are doing a great job with her. She started life in a trailer park without a father and a mother who barely cared. When child protection services found her, she was malnourished and sick.

Now, I look across the lawn at a giggling little girl who pulls on my husband's hair while she is riding his back, simultaneously fighting my daughter whose horse bears the name of Collin.

"What do you think, who is enjoying themselves more?" Seth ponders. "Our daughters or our men?"

"Men." I yawn. "Sorry. It's just a wee bit exhausting to carry one of those inside of you."

"I don't know if I should envy you or not," Seth grins. "D'you mind?" His hand hovers over my swollen belly.

It's so sweet of him to always ask before he touches my belly. Considering I've known the man for almost thirty years and this is my third pregnancy, it might feel ridiculous, but it isn't. It's Seth, always being respectful.

"Of course." I grab his hand and put in on the baby.

Seth smiles. "Hi, Gilbert."

"I think he's asleep."

"Sure. It was a big day. Daddy's birthday. "

"Mom?" Lizzie and Anna are suddenly there.

"What's going on, pumpkin?" I tickle Lizzie's cheek.

"You… you said we could watch the film we made…"

"Oh, right." I get up, which takes me a second longer these days. "Come and join us?" I wink at Seth.

The film we made is our version of Disney's _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs._ Everyone in the family was assigned a part – even Seth made an appearance. He had to hand over the camera to Edward for it. He was a squirrel in the forest, played by our garden.

Sometime later, everybody has gathered around the TV and I press play. I'm in my favorite spot, snuggled into Edward's side. Carlie is in my lap, almost asleep.

Seth is next to me on the large sofa, Collin by his side, who has a happy Violet on his knees. Lily is next to Collin, whom she adores.

Lizzie and Anna are on the floor with a bowl of popcorn.

Rose and Emmett are in the loveseat, while Alice and Jasper are snuggled up next to each other in a corner of the couch. The way they've been happy and content with being just the two of them always impresses me. They have been together for more than twenty years, and are still so much in love.

Maybe I shouldn't be too impressed. Edward and I are just as much in love after eight years.

Carlie is trying to keep her eyes open, her little body drooping towards Edward's chest.

"Hey!" Anna remarks proudly. "My name!"

Rose chuckles and ruffles her daughter's blonde curls.

The film starts, and I'm somewhat glad that our version of Snow White only takes thirty minutes. We all had to take a part, Lily being Snow White. I suddenly remember how Edward told me that his niece liked me and thought I looked like her Snow White Barbie all those years ago. I kiss his chin.

Edward smiles, raising an eyebrow.

I tell him with my eyes that I'll explain later, since our daughter is now fast asleep, stretched out across both our laps.

Collin got to be the Prince. Edward was assigned the role of Evil Queen/Witch, and the rest of us were dwarfs. The choice fell on Edward because the children told us he'd know how to rescue Lily if the poisoned apple really got stuck in her throat.

Watching my husband with his niece's plastic crown attached to his head, his lips smeared with red and his eyes with blue, is completely hilarious. Everyone else enjoys it too, especially when he is asking the mirror, "Who's the fairest of them all?"

We all crack up with laughter, but Lily, Anna and Lizzie hiss, "Shh!"

By the time we all make our appearance as the seven dwarfs, Violet is fast asleep as well.

Seeing Emmett as a dwarf is especially funny. Even on his knees, he towers over his daughters, nieces and Violet.

The kids decided who would play each part, and Emmett was assigned the part of Dopey. Rose was Grumpy, I snatched the part of Bashful. Anna acted as Sneezy. Carlie, who didn't know what she was doing at all, was Doc. Lizzie got to be Happy, and Violet was a very convincing Sleepy.

By the time the movie is over, the kids are sleeping. It's after ten, and tomorrow is Sunday, so it's okay.

We sit chatting for a few minutes, and then everyone starts collecting their Tupperware and toys and stuff.

Emmett carries Anna outside, placing a smacking kiss on my cheek. "Night, Mommy," he smiles. Lily hugs me.

"Can we really meet and talk about acting?" she asks.

"Absolutely," I reply. "You have my number, sweetheart!"

She hugs me, and the baby begins to kick again.

Rose hugs me as well and tells me to call her whenever. Collin and Seth leave next, with a sleeping Violet in Seth's arms. I kiss his cheek, and Edward and I are left with our two daughters, sleeping peacefully on the large sofa.

We smile at each other.

"Okay," he says softly. "I'll carry them upstairs, and then you do Lizzie and I'll take care of Carlie?"

I nod my head, looking at my two sleeping babies. Both of them have grown too heavy for me to carry in my present condition. Edward scoops up Lizzie and I follow him upstairs. Once we are in her room, he softly puts her down on the bed.

My sweet, sweet girl pouts her lips in her sleep, just like her father. She frowns as well, and I try to smooth out her little forehead. She sighs. I undress her, careful not to wake her, but I do. She looks at me with huge dark eyes, and I still find it strange. It's like I'm looking into a mirror.

"Mom?" She's so sleepy.

I put her into her pajamas.

"Yeah," I whisper. "I'm here. I love you."

"I love you, Mom." Her eyes are drooping again.

I kiss her forehead once more. "I love you, too," I whisper. "You can't imagine how much. Sweet dreams, my darling."

She's fallen asleep by the time I have tiptoed out of her room, leaving the door ajar. In addition, she has her little night-light.

I exit her room and hear Edward's low voice from the next room, which is Carlie's. I stand in the door and watch him for a few moments. He's singing softly to our daughter, and I recognize the lullaby he wrote for me when I discovered I was pregnant with her. His voice is soft and tender as he lulls Carlie to sleep. Once she is asleep, Edward gets up. He looks surprised when he sees me standing in the door.

"Hey." He kisses me. "Is everything okay?"

I nod. I step close to him and place my face on his chest.

"Funny day, huh?"

He chuckles silently. "Oh, yes."

"You were such a sexy witch." I kiss his throat. "And the queen? Hot!"

Edward chuckles. His hands squeeze my butt.

"Bedroom?" he whispers.

"Yes, please."

Once we're in bed, I snuggle up to my place on Edward's bare chest, and I kiss it.

"You smell good," I murmur. "So good."

"So do you," he replies softly, burying his nose in my hair. His hand seeks out my rounded belly, caressing it.

I kiss his chest again, inhaling his manly scent. I lick his nipple, causing Edward to sigh happily. My hand slowly descends into his pajama pants, and I softly bite his chest when my hand closes around his hard cock.

"Baby…" he moans.

"Like it?" I tease, moving my hand up and down.

Our life has changed, and we can't have kitchen, sofa, or even bedroom sex whenever we want to, but we still manage to have a very physical relationship.

_It's just that we can't help it._

Edward struggles out of his pajama pants and pulls my nightdress over my shoulders. His eyes are lust-filled and hooded, feasting on my rounded body as he pulls me on top of him.

"God," he whispers, "you're so beautiful…"

This is the third time we are experiencing this together. Even though I'm not always happy with the changes of my body, Edward makes me feel sexy and beautiful.

"Beautiful…"

His hands roam my breasts and pass to my belly. Gilbert kicks very softly, and we both smile.

My smile melts into a moan when Edward's fingers begin to tease me expertly. He knows exactly how to touch me, and I whimper softly when he enters me with one finger. And another one.

"Edward –"

"Yes?"

"Fuck me."

A second later, Edward is inside me, and oh, it feels fantastic. I'm home. I'm moving on top of him, touching his chest, his stomach, our soft moans mingling in the air. There's nothing as good as the feel of Edward, his hands on my hips as he moves me up and down while we share sloppy kisses.

"So good," I moan, "Don't stop. Don't… ugh…"

He's teasing my clit, knowing exactly how to drive me to the edge.

I'm writhing and moaning, but truth be told, my thighs are burning, and I can't help but slow down my movements.

Edward notices, and pulls me to his chest. I can't lay down on top of him, so I sort of snuggle into his side, kissing his chest, inhaling his scent, all Edward.

We're both panting, and we're both chuckling.

"What?" Edward protests. "You're only thirty-six! You can do better than that!"

His lips search out mine and we kiss for a very long time. It's precious, and wonderful. Edward will always be my man. No matter what difficulties or dangers may arise, he will always be the man I chose. The man I choose, every single day.

We kiss like teenagers, hotly and urgently, and Edward's hand wanders back between my thighs. His fingers tease me until I'm moaning with pleasure again, our tongues playing with each other.

"Daaaaa-dddddd-eeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

_No. No, no, no, no. no. _

"Fuck," Edward groans against my lips.

"Yeah, that's what I'd like to do," I sigh. "Fuck."

"I'll go," he mutters, putting a soft kiss on my lips. "And don't you dare fall asleep."

He slips into his pajama pants and leaves the room. I can hear him talk softly with Lizzie. The only bits I catch are "No, I am sure there's no vampire in your room. Vampires only happen in silly books…"

I can hear Lizzie ask a question, but I know Edward is carrying her back to her room, so I don't hear the rest.

Letting out a deep breath, I turn to my side and stroke Gilbert.

I realize I'm getting sleepy when I feel Edward climb into bed behind me.

"Hey," he whispers. "She's asleep now."

"Okay," I murmur, entwining our hands on my belly.

Edward's lips begin to caress my neck. Soft, sweet lips, with only the slightest bit of stubble that scratches my skin. His tongue, warm and exciting. His hand, playing my body.

"No, no," he whispers. "I said, don't you dare fall asleep on me."

His fingers move once more to the southern parts of my body, slowly, silently waking me up again.

"I didn't… Ohhh…"

One long, warm finger enters me, making me shudder and moan.

"Good?"

"So fucking good… Please, Edward…"

"Huh?"

Bastard. He knows exactly what I want, which is him. His fingers. His mouth. His tongue.

His cock.

He pulls me even closer, softly biting my neck.

"Isabella…"

I sigh and moan the second he enters me. So good.

"Ah…" I grab his hand and moan into his palm. His fingers are teasing my clit. Slow. Tender. Just as his pace is. So good.

"Edward… Ohh…. Oh my God…."

"Oh baby…" His grip on my hip is steady yet careful as he moves in and out of me.

"I love you," he whispers into my hair. "I love you so fucking much… You're so beautiful…"

"I love you too," I pant. "Oh, oh, oh… _Ahhhhh_…"

I tremble and moan, trying to keep the noise down, as my body constricts and parties in orgasmic convulsions.

"Fuck… Oh, God…" Edward bites my neck as he comes, thrusting deeply before he sighs and stills.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too," I murmur sleepily. I turn around in his arms and kiss him.

Gilbert knocks from inside me, and Edward and I fall asleep with our arms around each other.

When I wake in the morning, our bed is rather crowded, because both of our daughters have joined us. I had put on panties and Edward's T-shirt during one of my numerous bathroom trips. He, though, is still naked, and I worry a bit.

"Mommy?"

Carlie snuggles up to me, slowly waking. Her hair tickles my nose.

"Hi, baby." I kiss her chubby cheek.

"Mommy?"

Lizzie's voice is garbled from sleep as she places her head – carefully, like Daddy told her to – on my belly.

"Baby?" Edward is waking, blinking his eyes open.

"Hi," I smile, and then mouth, "_Pants!_"

"Huh?" Edward licks his lips.

Meanwhile, Lizzie is telling her little sister that Daddy put their brother in my stomach.

_Great._

Edward rolls around and kisses my shoulder.

"Hey, Daddy!" Lizzie squeals and hugs him. "I just explained to Carlie how the baby got in Mommy's tummy!"

She beams with pride.

"Uh… Um." Edward runs a hand over his face. "Let me just go to the bathroom, and we can talk about that, okay, Lizziepea?"

"Okay," she shrugs.

Edward starts to wriggle out of the sheets and I try to stop him, but once he stands, I smile. Of course he's prepared. I don't know when, but at some point, he managed to put on his pajama pants.

My smart man.

He returns a couple of minutes later, grinning. He jumps on the bed, making our girls scream happily. And then, he manages to hug all three – I mean, four – of us, and we talk and giggle and cuddle and laugh.

**oOOoOOo**

**A/N:**

**My dear, dear readers,**

**So this is it. They have come full circle, I think, and I certainly hope that you are happy with how I ended things. Believe me, it's hard to let them go.**

**Thank you for accompanying me on this incredible journey. Every one of your reviews has encouraged me to keep on writing, Every single one meant a lot to me, and I thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.**

**The biggest thanks need to go out to my brilliant beta, dellaterra. You never fail to amaze and amuse me. You have enriched my life over the past seventeen months, and I hope that you will continue to do so.**

**There will be a few outtakes in the weeks to come, so even if I do mark this story as complete, put it on alert, because there will be more.**

**Thank you all, and I hope to hear from you in the future!**

**Hugs and kisses from**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	47. Outtake One

**This outtake takes place between the last chapter and the epilogue.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Beta'd by the fantastic dellaterra. You are the Goddess of betas, the alpha of betas.**

**oOo**

OUTTAKE 1**: What Happened in Italy**

**MAY 24th**

Lizzie is squealing as Edward lifts her up in the air, her floaties seeming much too large on her small arms.

We're back in Tuscany, back to the house where we spent our honeymoon. Not even three years have passed since then, but it seems so much longer. We have our little daughter with us now, and she will be celebrating her second birthday in September.

Right now she is having a great time in the pool with her daddy.

"Look who's here." Edward points to me as I make my way down the little stone path leading from the terrace to the pool.

"Mommy!" Lizzie waves at me. She looks adorable in her pink bathing suit, her bronze curls sticking wetly to her forehead.

"Hey, you two," I say. "Lunch is ready. Are you coming out?"

We have a long and lazy lunch on the terrace, Lizzie sitting between us in her highchair while Edward helps her eat her pasta. She has tomato sauce all over her face, grinning proudly when she manages to finish the whole plate.

"You liked that, huh?" I gently wipe her mouth.

Edward watches us with a small smile, and it makes me incredibly happy to see him so relaxed and content. After ten days in Italy, his skin is lightly tanned. He hasn't shaved in a few days and now looks delightfully scruffy. He's wearing a polo shirt, and as always, I love the way some stray hairs peek out at the neck.

We talk easily while we continue our meal, but Lizzie starts getting whiny and Edward lifts her out of her chair and settles her on his lap. She calms down for a moment before getting fidgety again.

"I think that someone is ready for her nap," I say.

Edward nods in agreement, stroking Lizzie's curls.

"I'll put her down," he says.

"Okay," I nod, getting up and kissing Lizzie's cheek. "Sleep well, my darling," I tell her.

She chants "Woodledupp." I have no idea what it means.

Edward catches my lips with his own before he gets up and carries Lizzie to her room. Ten minutes later, he returns, meeting me in the kitchen, where I'm storing the leftovers.

"Hey." He stands behind me and wraps his arms around me. He kisses my neck, nibbling softly. His stubble scratches me in the most exciting way.

"Is she asleep?" I murmur.

"Conked out," Edward replies in a slightly husky voice. "Any idea what we might do with those ninety minutes?"

"I don't know," I reply, turning around in his arms. "We might play a board game…"

"A board game, huh?" He gently bites my neck, then turns his attention to my lips. He nibbles softly, making me moan. His hands meet on my ass as he pulls me closer. "Strip Scrabble?" he whispers against my lips.

"You know I always screw you over at Scrabble," I murmur. "You'd be naked pretty soon."

"Good," he rasps. "And then, I can screw _you_…"

Two minutes later, we're taking off each other's clothes, making out on our large four-poster bed. Our lovemaking is hot and urgent, and we cling to each other when we come, Edward's face divinely beautiful as he moans my name.

oOo

"Mmm…"

Edward rests his head on my chest and I run my fingers through his hair. He sighs comfortably.

We're silent for a couple of minutes, basking in our bubble of bliss.

"She's growing so fast," Edward says unexpectedly.

"Yes…" I ruffle the hair at the back of his head. "It's wonderful… and also disturbing."

Edward chuckles and kisses the side of my breast, then props himself up on his elbows so he can see me. He looks sweet and disheveled.

"What we talked about at Christmas," Edward begins softly, seriously, referring to a conversation that took place more than six months ago, "Do you…" He licks his upper lip. "Do you still feel that way?"

"That Lizzie should not be an only child?" I say, my voice slightly thick.

Edward nods imperceptibly, but his expression tells me that this is what he is thinking about. He kisses me, a light, loving peck on my lips.

"Yes," I say after a moment. "Yes, I do still feel that way…"

Edward swallows thickly. He passes one finger down my cheekbone. His green eyes are very dark.

"So… you'd want to make her a little brother or sister?"

"Yes," I whisper. I wrap my arms around his neck and draw him closer until our lips meet. His are teasing and warm, telling me of his love and reverence. Exciting me about the prospect of things to come.

.

**JULY 15th**

Lizzie is giggling loudly at her daddy's funny faces while he feeds her carrot soup. Her flu has almost passed, and she has returned to her old form.

"Mommy!"

She stretches her arms in my direction once she sees me. A big smile graces her face. Every day, her curls are more like Edward's hair, unruly and copper-colored.

I can't help but smile too, but it merges into a big yawn.

"Hey, you two."

I bend down to catch Edward's lips with my own, to which he responds happily. I hate it that we see so little of each other. My play will be closing in a few weeks, and despite the fact that it was a huge success – Cornelius Clapp finally made his and my dream come true and staged _The Prince and the Showgirl_ – I am relieved to spend more time with my family again.

It was wonderful to work again, but the first time I had to leave Lizzie, I cried all the way to the theater. Our production was very successful, and Cornelius was very understanding about the limitations that having a small daughter gave me.

"Mommee!"

"Hello, my darling!" I kiss Lizzie's cheek. My heart expands and dances at the feel of her. Nothing has ever been as amazing as our daughter.

"Lookey, mommy," Lizzie points at her toes, and sure enough, she's wearing the pink socks that Alice knitted.

I kiss her fluffy hair. "Wow, they are so pretty, my darling."

"Hey." Edward gently pulls me to his lap.

"Hey." I kiss his soft lips. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." He wipes Lizzie's mouth. She watches us curiously. "We had a great day, didn't we, Lizzie-Pea?"

Lizzie nods her head enthusiastically.

"We had chocolate ice cream," Edward says. "Wasn't that nice?"

"Chocowat eytheem," she says.

"Was it yummy?"

"Wuammy!"

"Okay, sweetheart," Edward says. "Ready to take your bath?"

Lizzie nods fiercely. She loves bath time with her daddy. He always tries to be at home in the evenings, while I take care of our daughter during the day. It works most of the time and when it doesn't, we have no problem finding a babysitter. Carlisle and Esme love to look after her, as do Seth and Collin. She also sometimes goes to visit with Rose and Emmett, and she and Anna like playing with each other.

Edward lifts Lizzie out of her highchair and settles her on his hip.

.

**AUGUST 19th**

Wow, I'm so tired. This was the last show, and I should be celebrating with the other actors and the team.

Seth is watching Lizzie, and he sent me a picture an hour ago. My daughter is sleeping soundly and peacefully in her bed.

The music is loud and the party is getting wilder, but Edward and I are still in our private corner of the restaurant, chatting with Cornelius. My husband looks so hot in a midnight-blue suit. He took off his tie earlier, and the top buttons of his shirt are open. And I want to ravage him.

His hand is on my thigh as he engages in a discussion with Cornelius about his favorite director, Stanley Kubrick. I take another sip of my white wine and rest my head on Edward's shoulder. He responds with a soft squeeze of my leg.

I listen to their discussion and try to hide another yawn. They have moved from Kubrick to contemporary directors. They're talking about _Fight Club_. And then about this weird movie with the guy who sits in his limousine all day. Edward made me watch it and I fell asleep.

"Excuse me for a moment," I say and stand up.

Edward watches me, but once he sees that I _really_ only need to pee, he returns his attention to Cornelius.

I don't like what I see when I'm washing my hands. My hair is messy, the do from earlier tonight long forgotten, and my cheeks are red. I check my phone again: It's ten to two.

Fuck it, I just want to go home, check on Lizzie, and fall asleep.

When I return to the main room of the restaurant, Edward and Cornelius are standing, saying good-bye to each other.

Cornelius and I hug before he leaves, and then it's just Edward and me.

"Hey, baby," he rasps into my ear. "Want to go home too?"

"Yes," I sigh.

By the time we arrive, it's almost three. The door of the guest room is closed, which means that Seth is asleep and has the baby monitor with him. I still check on Lizzie once we've climbed the stairs. She's sleeping peacefully, her tousled hair and pouty lips reminding me so much of her father.

Who is waiting for me in our bedroom. Draped on the comforter with his arms crossed behind his head, wearing nothing but a devilishly sexy smirk.

.

**SEPTEMBER 23rd**

"No, darling." I take Lizzie's hand before she can reach for the candy bar. "We're not getting this."

"I havey!" she whines.

"No, sweetheart."

I can see the oncoming tantrum in her frown, her pouted lips and her watery eyes. Why oh why can't there be candy-free stores? It's always such a fight.

"Darling." I squat down and draw her into my arms. "We have the yummy chocolate milk and the cereal, remember?" I point to our shopping basket. Lizzie shares a love for Cap'n Alphabet with her father, but since it has tons of sugar, it counts as candy to me.

"Havey," Lizzie cries and points to the chocolate bar.

"When we get home, you can have a banana with chocolate sauce, okay?"

Again, she moves to get the candy. Unfortunately, Lizzie has inherited my love for anything with chocolate. And she's two years old, constantly testing her boundaries. I've been tired all day, and I'm actually crankier than my daughter, but that's of no interest right now.

"No, Lizzie," I say firmly. She sniffles, but doesn't say more. She knows the voice I used right now, and I'm glad I don't have to take out the big guns. Which would be the use of her full name.

I pay for the groceries and we make our way home. It's a rainy day and I have to struggle to keep an eye on Lizzie who is jumping from puddle to puddle in her little rain boots, while I am carrying the shopping bags and my umbrella. Lizzie has her own one with Winnie the Pooh on it.

Once inside our apartment, I help Lizzie take off her boots and coat and she greets Cedric, who has joined us in the hall, yawning lazily. She strokes his back and Cedric purrs happily. For a second, I watch them and my heart overflows with love.

Lizzie sits in her corner of the kitchen and draws pictures while I put away the groceries and begin cooking. She sits on her rug, surrounded by toys and frequently runs to me to show her results. I compliment her endlessly, and her smiles and giggles are music to my ears.

"Daddy home?" she asks, handing me a crayon-drawn picture of an orange sausage with four sticks for legs.

"Yes, Daddy will be home in a little while," I say. "Wow, that's Cedric! You did that so well, honey!"

Lizzie beams. "Me showey Daddy!"

"He will love that so much." I kiss her soft little cheek.

I get up from my squatting position and briefly feel dizzy. God, I should work out more frequently, or something.

Half an hour later, I hear the front door and after a moment, Edward joins us in the kitchen. He lifts Lizzie into his arms and swings her around until she squeals.

"Hey." He kisses me softly, our daughter still in his arms. "How are you?"

"Good," I smile, pecking his lips one more time. "How was your day?"

"Exhausting," he sighs. "I am so, so glad that I am off tomorrow."

"Yes, me too."

We have far too little time together, but I know that Edward tries hard, so hard. He knows that I sometimes feel lonely, spending my days with our toddler and talking about little besides children and swim groups, pediatricians, baby food, and our little one's antics.

I have been on a few auditions, but nothing came of any of them. Either I was too old, or too young. One director told me that I look too "womanly," whatever that means. I haven't lost the last ten pounds of baby weight, and the pregnancy has changed my body anyway. I have curves. I have tits, and I have an ass.

Well, I am a woman, and a mother too, so I told him right then to go fuck himself. Well, not in those words, but I think I made myself clear.

"What are you making?" Edward asks. He has set down Lizzie, who is drawing another picture, and wraps his arm around my waist. He kisses my ear.

"Mushroom ravioli," I reply, sighing when he keeps nuzzling my neck.

"Mmm…"

His free hand moves to my belly, caressing me softly. It's his way of telling me that he loves my body despite the baby weight. At least three of the ten pounds are sticking to my tummy, and I hate it. Edward keeps telling me I'm beautiful, and that the marks the pregnancy left only make me more desirable.

"D'you want me to help you?" His breath is hot and exciting in my ear.

"Um… you might open a bottle of wine?"

"Good thinking," Edward chuckles, lightly biting my neck before he goes to the fridge.

He plays with Lizzie while I make dinner, every now and then smiling at me from his spot on the floor. Our daughter is happy, showing her paintings to Daddy and making him smile so much.

Leaning against the counter, I watch them and take another sip of my wine.

Whoa, and there's that dizziness again. I only had half a glass of wine – this is so unfair!

"You okay?" Edward watches me, momentarily ignoring Lizzie, who is sorting her crayons.

"Yeah," I assure him. "We can eat in a minute."

A few hours later, Lizzie is asleep and Edward and I are snuggled up on the sofa. We're watching _The King's Speech,_ and I keep sighing about Colin Firth. Edward growls playfully and tickles my side until I stop him with a long and thorough kiss.

"Mmm," he mumbles against my lips when we part a little. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

"You did," I whisper, "but how about showing me again?"

oOo

I wake to the touch of Edward's lips on my shoulder, kissing me softly. I sigh sleepily, letting him know how much I enjoy his attention.

The alarm on the bedside table tells me that it's after seven, which means that our daughter is going to wake up soon.

But she is not able to open the door by herself.

I turn around in Edward's arms.

"Morning," he smiles, all tousled and sleepy.

"Hey…"

He kisses me, fuck morning breath, and I wrap my leg around his hip. The kiss is slow and languid and passionate, and I can feel things shaping up in Edward's pajamas. I grab his ass to get him closer to me, and Edward moans happily.

Our breaths are getting heavier, and I slip my hand into Edward's pants.

Ugh.

So hard, so big, so hot. So soft to my touch.

"Fuck, Isabella," he groans the moment I begin to move my hand.

"Yes," I murmur. "Yes…"

I swiftly move out of my nightdress and throw it to the end of the bed. Edward struggles out of his pajama pants, and seconds later, I'm on top of him, and oh, he feels so good inside me. His eyes are hooded as he watches me move. His hands are on my butt, squeezing and kneading.

"Baby… Isabella… God, this is… oh…"

One hand moves over my hip, caressing my belly, finally reaching its prize: my breast. He cups it gently, and runs his thumb over my nipple. I shudder. It's good, but somehow, my breast feels tender.

Oh, God. Every time I move down, my clit brushes his pubic bone. I'm this close to exploding. I fall forward, needing to feel him closer, my breasts bouncing against his chest with every move.

Hot lips, hot kisses. Tongues playing, teeth clashing. Oh, God, I need this man like I need water.

"Yes," I moan, "Yes, oh, yes…"

I'm moving faster, our moans getting more desperate.

"Yes, yes, yes," I whimper, biting Edward's shoulder when I come, crying out as I cross the apex of pleasure.

He groans out loud, pressing me down on him.

"Ohhhh… ahhh…"

I collapse on his chest, my arms and legs twined around him. We're both panting. We're sweating and messy. We're perfect.

"I love you," Edward mumbles against my temple.

"I love you," I reply, kissing his neck.

His breathing is getting even, his pulse slowing down. I love us this way, close and satisfied. We're in our own bubble.

"Wow," I whisper. "You are one hot daddy."

He smiles.

"And you, Mrs. Cullen, are one hot mommy." He kisses my hair. "I love you."

"And how I love you…"

I move off Edward's body and snuggle up to his side, wrapping my arm around his torso. I'm so tired…

"Sleep a little longer," Edward murmurs into my hair. "I'll make her breakfast…"

Sleep. Sleeep… Mmm… best thing in the world…

I fall, fall, fall into heavy cotton clouds.

.

**OCTOBER 1st**

I'm returning from my audition, which was shit. And it was my fault that it was shit. I had a total blackout, which only lasted a moment, but everyone could see that I wasn't able to remember my text during those agonizing twenty seconds.

Hurrying the last few steps to our front door, I keep grumbling into my phone.

"No, Sethy, I am not imagining things! I know I was just bad. Bad, bad, bad. Hi." I smile at the doorman.

I have a headache, and my boobs hurt. I think I'm getting my period. Everything sucks. My idea was to be back on the stage by the time Lizzie was one, but I didn't really feel the pull. I felt the need to be with my baby. I made a short film and appeared at a few readings, so when Laurent called and told me that he had gotten me into an audition for Cameron Lahote's production of _The Seagull_, I jumped at the chance.

Well, crap.

I turn my key in the door and let myself into our home. There's tinkling from the piano in the living room, and I smile despite my mood. Lizzie loves to sit on Edward's lap when he plays, and he is actually teaching her some basic keys. Our daughter is very talented, he says.

I kick off my shoes and join them.

"Mommee!"

Edward smiles when he sees me and helps Lizzie to her feet. She runs to me and as always, a surge of love overwhelms my heart.

"Hey, pumpkin!" I squat down and wrap her in my arms. "How are you doing?"

"Lookey, Mommy!" She pulls me to the piano with her.

"Hey." Edward kisses me softly while Lizzie is already scrambling back on his knees. "How did it go?"

"Ugh, don't ask," I say.

"Why, what happened?" His green eyes are loving and concerned.

"I sucked. Forgot my lines and everything."

"And what? They kicked you out?"

"No, they said they'd call." I chuckle bitterly. "I know they won't though."

"Mommy, Mommy," Lizzie whines eagerly, having been trying to catch our attention for a few moments.

"Just a second, honey," Edward says. He takes my hand and kisses it. "Don't worry about it. Please?"

"Yeah," I murmur, trying to hold back the tears that prick at my eyes.

"There will be better opportunities."

"Sure," I sniffle.

"Mom-eee!"

Edward mouths something like_ later_, and I nod my head, glad to be distracted.

"Do you want to show Mommy what you learned honey?"

"Uh-huh." She nods eagerly and then, her tiny hands hit the keys. It's not a melody by any means, but it's clear that she knows what she's doing.

"Wow, darling." I kiss her chubby little cheek. "That was great. I'm so proud of you."

She beams.

"Okay, Pea," Edward tickles her belly. "Ready to go?"

"Go?" I say. "Where?"

"Um… to look at the daycare place?" His left brow is raised. He looks a tiny weeny bit pissed.

"Oh… um."

"Oh, please, Bella. Don't tell me you forgot about that? I mean, how are you to get back to work in the first place if Lizzie isn't taken care of?"

"I didn't forget," I lie miserably. "I just…"

"Sure, we can always hire a nanny," he says, "but is that what you want? I don't want her to grow up in an ivory tower, and –"

"Shut up," I shout. "I forgot, okay? And we can go there now."

Lizzie starts to cry.

"Great," Edward mutters. "Really great."

**OCTOBER 3rd**

Lizzie is fast asleep by the time Edward returns home. He sent a message earlier that he'd be held up. I'm smearing peanut butter on another piece of salami while watching _Wuthering Heights_ and crying my heart out. It's the first movie Edward and I went to see together. I remember how we sat next to each other in the darkness of the movie theater and he held my hand.

I cry even harder, and I don't even have any reason to. Apart from the shitty audition, my life is great. I have a healthy and very happy daughter, a wonderful husband, loving friends and family…

"Hey, baby," Edward calls from the hallway. "Sorry I'm so late."

I'm still sobbing by the time he enters the room. I just can't seem to stop.

"Bella? Oh Bella, love, what's going on? Is Lizzie okay?" He sinks to his knees in front of me, hugging me awkwardly.

"Y-yes," I stammer. "I'm sorry, I'm just…"

He hugs me tight before he looks up into my eyes.

"I'm just… I don't know," I sniffle.

"Oh baby." Edward heaves a big sigh. "I'm sorry. I know that you're alone all the time. Come on." He smiles and pulls me to my feet. "I brought a fabulous lasagna from Gino's Deli."

"Lasagna?" I lick my lips.

Edward smirks and holds the bag under my nose. The smell is… incredible, and I shove him into the kitchen.

He fiddles with the containers while I get out plates and cutlery. I light a candle and turn on the CD player.

_Abba._

_Really, Edward? _

He's shaking his hips to the tunes of "Dancing Queen," while opening a bottle of Merlot, pouring each of us a glass.

"Here," he says, handing me mine. "I don't know about you, but I can use this after the day I had."

"What happened?" I ask and take a sip of my wine, immediately knowing that this was wrong. "Oh, fuck," I mutter, sloppily handing the glass to Edward, staining his shirt. I just make it to the sink, where I lose the contents of my stomach. And it looks so disgusting I throw up even harder.

Edward steps behind me and holds me. I try to shove him away, but he won't let me. When I'm finished, I rinse my mouth. I turn around in his arms and sink down against the sink until my ass reaches the floor.

Edward sits down next to me.

"Um, Bella?" He looks at me with a lopsided smile.

"Oh my God," I groan. "I think I'm pregnant."

**oOo**

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**Have a beautiful summer, and I'll see you soon.**

**Your **

**harperpitt**


	48. Outtake Two

OUTTAKE 2: **A Day at the Zoo**

This takes place about a month after the epilogue. It's July, and Bella's due date for Gilbert is in October.

oOo

**BELLA**

Lizzie is so excited that she can hardly concentrate on eating her breakfast.

"Can we go and see the bears?" she asks Dad.

"Sure we can, pumpkin," he chuckles.

He and Sue have been here for a week, and Charlie is the cutest granddad in the world, playing with the girls, treating them to extended outings and adventures. They took the girls out to see a movie yesterday, which gave Edward and me the chance for a delicious afternoon in bed.

"Mommy." Carlie hands me her Peter Rabbit cup.

"You want some more milk, honey?"

She nods eagerly. At first, she was really shy around Dad and Sue, but it has become much better. Sue made them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches the other day, and Carlie helped. They're as thick as thieves now.

Edward yawns. He was called into work last night, not returning until two in the morning. He'll be on call all day today as well. I'm just hoping that not too many New Yorkers have heart attacks on this sunny Sunday afternoon.

It's warm, and at seven months pregnant, I feel hot all the time, but it's not as stifling as it usually is in the city.

"And the penguins?" Lizzie says.

"Pengugingf are nife," Carlie lisps. She spoons another mouthful of muesli, milk running down her chin.

"Come here," Edward smiles. He gently wipes her mouth. Carlie grins.

Georgie comes and mewls around my legs. He's the cuddlier of the two brothers, always looking out for a human hand. His brother Eric is an arrogant, beautiful grey cat. But I know that he likes me.

While Charlie discusses penguins with his elder granddaughter, Sue and I chat about unimportant things. How to make a perfect applesauce, and how to cope with siblings fighting. Somewhere along the way, Gilbert kicks, and he kicks hard. I flinch, rubbing the spot he hit.

"Ouch," I laugh. Charlie looks at me worriedly.

"You okay, Bells?"

"Yes. It's just that when he kicks, he's very thorough," I say. "The girls never were this wild."

"I was very well-behaved," Lizzie announces proudly. "Right, Mommy?"

"Very," I say, trying to hide a smile.

Edward's mouth twitches as well.

Lizzie gets out of her chair and runs over to me, hugging my big belly.

"He's my brother," she tells her grandparents, kissing me through the cotton of my maternity dress. "And Eli from my theater group told me how he got in there."

Edward groans. One day, he fetched her from her group and she was all excited, because her best friend Eli explained to her how babies are made.

"Okay, Missy," Edward gets up and swings her into his arms. "Let's get ready for the zoo, shall we?"

Exit a blushing Dr. Cullen with daughter.

Both Dad and Sue are giggling quietly while Carlie is oblivious, playing with her Peter Rabbit doll.

I watch them, and can't help but join into their laughter.

"I'm sorry! She's a curious little girl."

"She is," Sue smiles.

"You know what the worst thing was? Eli had explained it all wrong, and I made Edward tell her how it really works…"

At that, Dad doubles over with laughter.

"That was so mean, Bella," Sue gasps.

"Well he _is_ a doctor," I say.

_I remember how he made me pay for it. All night long. Mmmm…_

"Edward will be so happy once there's another boy in this family," Dad chuckles.

"Yeah," I grumble. "He keeps harping on that."

Edward grew up primarily with his mother and two older sisters because Carlisle was away so often. I always argue that it made him the man he is: sensitive, sweet-natured, loving.

oOo

An hour later, we're in the Central Park Zoo.

Sometimes, it's still odd to approach the park from the Upper West Side. We decided to move when Carlie was on the way. Our old apartment was beautiful and elegant, but only had two bedrooms. It was clear that we needed something bigger. Something for a family, with a little more green all around. Esme was a big help, going back on her contacts from the days she was working full-time as an interior decorator. What we found was a lovely townhouse that had been built in 1901. We have a backyard and five bedrooms. We love our new home.

"Oh, lookey, lookey!" Carlie points at the penguins from her spot on Edward's hip. At first, it was hard for her to accept that Mommy couldn't lift her up any longer, but Edward explained it again and again.

"They're so sweet," I say. "With their little black tails. Look!"

We watch a penguin dive into the water after the zookeeper throws in a fish.

"Wow," Lizzie says. She's holding Sue's hand. "He's real fast!"

"Well, he likes his fish," Sue chuckles. "Much like your Granddad."

Lizzie giggles. Carlie flails her arms because she wants to partake in the action. Edward sets her on the ground so she can run to her sister.

For a short moment, I lean into him and bury my face in his chest. I sigh. I am very happy, and, as always, very exhausted. Edward kisses my hair.

"You are so pretty," he croons sweetly.

"I'm not," I grumble. "I'm sweaty, and…"

He bites my neck.

"Stop saying shit about my wife," he murmurs. "Anyway, I have a surprise for you tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yes…" He kisses my ear and I shiver. "I know that you will like it…"

"Mom-ee!"

Small arms wrap around my left leg.

"Come, lookey!"

oOo

After I go to pee with my girls, we meet by the ice cream car. Edward draws me into his arms and makes me sit on a bench while Dad and Sue stand in line.

"Oh, that's good," I sigh. Edward's fingers are gently massaging the small of my back.

"We can go home if you want," he says softly. "We can leave the girls with Charlie and Sue…"

"Yeah… No." I groan as his fingers find a particularly achy spot. "It's okay."

"Bells," Dad hollers. "Which flavor d'you want?"

"Chocolate," Edward replies before I can say anything. "Same goes for Lizzie. Carlie wants strawberry."

Carlie's laughter echoes around the playground.

"What do _you_ want, Edward?" Dad's voice carries from the ice cream cart to the bench we're sitting on.

"Vanilla," Edward responds. And he nuzzles my ear. "Are you really okay, love?"

"I am." I move until I catch his lips. I kiss him, and our mouths caress and play.

"They ran out of vanilla, Edward," Charlie shouts. "Would lemon be okay?"

"Yes," Edward replies once he has detached his lips from mine.

"Or cherry?" Dad asks.

"Yes, Charlie," Edward responds, hiding his face in my neck. "Lemon and cherry sounds good."

oOo

After our break, we make our way to the cats.

Both Lizzie and Carlie know and adore them – we have two at home, after all.

I was heartbroken when Cedric died, He was fourteen and suffered from a stroke. It happened overnight. He ran into doors and furniture one morning, and both Edward and I knew that something was seriously wrong. When the vet saw him, she told us that the kindest thing would be to let him go. So we did.

I cried for days. Edward was even unhappier than I was. We mourned Cedric thoroughly. Edward cried and cried when we buried him in Esme and Carlisle's backyard.

He was a kind being, a spirit who accompanied us over many years. And we loved him

dearly. He was clever. He adored Edward.

I sigh softly.

"Mommy?" Lizzie slips her small hand in mine. "Are you sad?"

"No darling," I say, stroking her hair. "I'm not sad. I was just being sentimental."

"What is sempinental?"

"Your mom," Edward says, wrapping his arm around my waist, "has a big heart. And because of that, she feels a lot. So much, that in fact, it's sometimes too much and doesn't fit into her heart, so it has to get out."

"Like when you make popcorn and it pops around in the microwaste and the bag gets bigger all the time?"

_To Lizzie, microwaste is more logical than microwave._

"Yeah," Edward smiles. "A bit like that."

I kiss Edward's cheek and he lifts Lizzie up in his arms.

"You're a clever girl, sweetie."

His phone rings and he grabs it from his pocket. His face falls the moment he sees the caller ID. I know it's the hospital.

"Yes," he says. "Yes, keep doing that and prepare the O.R. I'll be there in fifteen."

He shuts his phone.

"I'm so sorry, love…"

"It's okay." I shake my head. "It's your job."

He smiles sweetly and kisses me before setting down Lizzie and explaining to everyone that he needs to leave. Carlie starts to cry and tries to hold on to him, but Granddad Charlie manages to distract her. Edward looks so sad himself. He places another kiss on my lips and touches my stomach.

"Take care, okay?"

"I will," I mumble against his lips. "I love you."

"Love you," he whispers, and is gone.

"Okay," Dad says. "Who wants lunch?"

We have sandwiches and sodas at the Dancing Crane Café, and both Lizzie and Carlie eat slices of apple from Sue's hands as if they were chunks of chocolate. After eating Swiss Emmental on rye, I rub my swollen belly while Gilbert does somersaults. He must love cheese, because he always parties after I had any.

We leave and I'm more than ready to go home. I'm tired and my feet hurt. Carlie is rather overexcited from all the input. She wants to go to the playground, and Lizzie chimes in. It's actually the twinkle in Dad's eye that makes me say, "Okay, but only for twenty minutes."

Sue and I settle down on a bench while he chases after the girls. They're heading for the swings.

"Are you okay, Bells?" Sue's warm, dark eyes remind me once again of Seth's.

"Yes. Just a bit tired, that's all. You know how it is, especially towards the end…"

"I do," she smiles, taking my hand. "It's always such a pleasure to see you and Edward with the girls. You're a wonderful mom, Bells."

The laughter and squealing of playing children resounds from the playground. The sun is hiding behind fluffy white clouds. Well, there are a few darker ones joining them.

"Thank you. I never imagined I could do it. Who would have guessed?"

"I think the kids stabilized you."

"They did," I agree at once. "I mean, I even went off the antidepressants when I was pregnant with Carlie, and never started taking them again. That is not to say," I add quickly, "that I will never need them again. I fully expect to, with my history and stuff. But right now… it's perfect."

"You don't miss work?"

"Sometimes. A bit. But then… Not six months ago, they nominated me for a Tony. How crazy is that?"

"You were brilliant," Sue exclaims. "And the way you – "

She stops, something catching her eye. Her face changes, and I follow her line of sight.

Dad is approaching us, my youngest daughter in his arms. Blood is marring her pale blue dress, her head, her hands, and Dad's flannel shirt.

My lips quiver and I try to get up, but two hands hold me back.

"_Breathe, Bella."_

"_It's just a cut."_

"_Mom, mom…"_

Their voices sound hollow and far away. Blood is pulsating in my ears. I can't breathe.

And then, Carlie's voice yanks me out of my frozen state. She's crying for me, and I dart up and coddle her while she's still in Dad's arms.

"Call a cab," I instruct Sue, and lead the way to the nearest exit, Lizzie's hand firmly in my right, Carlie's in my left.

"There must be an emergency station," Dad says.

"No. It'll be quicker if we take a cab and go to the hospital," I say. "Believe me."

oOo

By the time we're in the cab, Carlie's sobs have become little wails. She is sitting my lap, and despite the tissue I am pressing on the wound, my dress is slowly turning red. Sue is doing her best to comfort a very frightened Lizzie, while Charlie holds my hand.

"I'm calling Edward," he says.

"No…" I whisper. "He's performing surgery…"

"It's gonna be okay," Sue says. "It's just a cut. She'll probably need a few stitches."

I shudder. I've never been able to see blood without feeling faint. The fact that it is my baby only makes it worse. I stroke her little cheek.

"Everything will be fine," I murmur, "I love you so much, sweetie."

The drive to the hospital is a short one, and the cabbie stops at the emergency entrance. Dad sweeps Carlie into his arms and we go in while Sue pays the driver, Lizzie by her side. Dad and I explain what happened to the lady at the reception desk, who tells me to go to one of the treatment rooms while Dad gives does the paperwork with her.

"A doctor will be with you in a moment," she says.

_Why oh why can't Edward be an ER doctor?_

We wait longer than a minute. Sue and Lizzie join us, and Sue makes me put up my feet. Carlie is on my lap, crying.

And we wait.

I know it's just a cut, but she's a toddler, for God's sake, and she's in pain!

Charlie seems to think the same, because after five minutes, he gets up and stalks out to the front desk again.

After that, it doesn't take long, and I am overjoyed when Dr. Jefferson joins us. I know him from some hospital functions. He's a very nice, elderly gentleman with kind grey eyes.

"Now, who do we have here?" he starts saying when he recognizes my face. "Oh, hi, Mrs. Cullen!"

"Hi, Dr. Jefferson. This is my daughter, Carlie. She fell off a climbing contraption at the playground, and – "

I look down at Carlie, at my blood-soaked dress, and the giddiness returns.

"Actually," Sue says, "I think we have two patients here."

oOo

**EDWARD**

It took us ages, but the bleeding has stopped. I supervise as Dr. Joham, one of the interns, closes the patient up.

"Good job," I smile. "Okay, I'm leaving. Thanks, everyone."

I'm on my way to the locker rooms, desperate for a shower, when my pager goes off again.

_Oh, no, no, no!_

I call back the ER.

"Dr. Cullen? Could you please come down ASAP? We have a problem here."

"Sure."

I forgo the elevator and take the stairs, arriving at the ER about five minutes later.

"What is it?" I ask, slightly breathless.

"Um… could you go to room four?"

"Yeah, sure. What's wrong?"

"Please just go there, Dr. Cullen."

Bella is lying down on a recliner while Dr. Jefferson is working on a patient on the examination table. And it's our little girl.

Charlie is sitting next to her on the bed. Dr. Jefferson is stitching her head while Lizzie watches curiously.

Sue is sitting with Bella, running a cloth over her forehead.

"What happened?" I stammer. Lizzie gets up and runs into my arms.

"Daddy!"

"Hey, honey." I gather her up in my arms. "What happened?" I say again, addressing the room.

"She fell," Charlie is the first to respond. "Off the climbing frame, when I wasn't looking for a second."

"Hi, Edward."

"Douglas, hi." I step to him. My little daughter is lying on the bed, watching me from tear-stained eyes.

"I was just finishing," Douglas says. "Only three stitches. She'll be fine."

"Carlie," I whisper, sinking down next to her and taking her small hands.

"Daddy…"

"I'm so sorry, hun. Does it hurt a lot?"

She shakes her head.

"I gave her fifty milligram of lidocaine," Douglas explains. "I'd suggest half a Tylenol during the night." He shrugs, and smiles. "But you know that yourself."

"Thank you so much," I say, my voice hoarse. I pat his shoulder. "I mean it."

"No problem, Edward."

He smiles and leaves the room. I walk over to Bella.

She has her eyes closed, a worried frown between her brows.

"Baby?" I bring my lips to her ear. "Are you okay?"

"The blood," she moans. "I just can't stand the blood. I'm sorry…"

"It's okay. Do you think you're ready to go home? Carlie is finished… No more blood. I promise."

Once we're home, Sue starts to prepare dinner while Charlie helps Bella settle on the sofa. I take Carlie to her room.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?"

She just pouts out her lip in place of a nod. Conked out. Her hair is caked with blood where she had stitches, and there's a tiny bald spot. She's asleep, that's what counts.

I sit with her for a few more minutes, singing her favorite song. I wish I'd been there. Kids will hurt themselves, and we can only hope that nothing serious ever happens, but I can imagine how shocked Bella was when she saw our little one bleeding like this. Bella has never been able to stand the sight of blood; even when she has to have her blood drawn, it's always a little drama.

I place a kiss on Carlie's forehead and leave the room.

Downstairs, Charlie is playing Parcheesi with Lizzie at the dining room table and they're laughing. Bella is on the sofa with her feet propped on an extra pillow. Her eyes are closed.

I sit down next to her and she opens her eyes. She looks exhausted, and heartbreakingly beautiful. I run my fingers over her round belly.

"Are you okay, love?"

"Mmm-hmm." A small smile plays around her lips. "I'm sorry I made such fuss."

"Don't be." I bend over her and kiss the corner of her mouth. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Bella wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer.

"Is she asleep?" Her breath is warm on my cheek.

"Yeah."

"I was scared to death when I saw her, with all that blood…" She shudders.

"I can imagine." I kiss her nose.

Lizzie is squealing and clapping her hands.

"I won! I won!"

She runs to us, followed by her granddad, who hides a smile behind his mustache.

"She's got a poker face," he chuckles.

"Congratulations, pumpkin." I pull her to my lap.

"Daddy, I watched when the doctor sewed Carlie's head. I didn't get sick. I wanta be a doctor too."

"You do?"

"Uh-huh." She nods, her dark eyes shining.

"Okay, folks, dinner's ready," Sue calls from the kitchen.

We have a fantastic fish fry and talk about the happenings of the day. Lizzie is still very excited, while her mom is rather quiet. When we're through, Charlie takes her out in the garden where they play with the cats. Sue insists on clearing the table despite our protests.

"You two relax," she instructs. "I'll just put everything in the dishwasher and then join Charlie and Lizzie. We're leaving in three days, and I want to spend time with my granddaughter."

"Remember I promised you a surprise?" I ask Bella after Sue has vanished in the kitchen.

"Yes." She smiles. "Do I get it now?"

"Yeah, but first, I'm going to run you a bath. What do you say?"

"That would be fabulous." She pecks my lips with hers.

Once we're upstairs, I prepare Bella's bubble bath, adding her favorite rose-scented oil. I dim the lights and light a few candles. Bella beams when she enters the room, wearing a robe.

"Wow, this is nice." She stands on her tiptoes and kisses me. "Why are you still dressed?"

"I thought you were going to take a bath," I smile.

"I want to feel you," she whispers against my chin. "Wet and naked."

I gulp. I've grown used to the fact that Bella tends to get incredibly horny once she's out of her first trimester, but she still can surprise me.

I kiss her softly, our lips playing with each other, sucking and nibbling happily.

Bella's hands move into my T-shirt, pulling it higher and I raise my arms, letting her take it off. She drops her robe and starts to open the buttons of my jeans. Her soft, round body presses against mine and she pushes my pants lower, giving my ass a thorough squeeze.

"Baby," I rasp. "Do you want to get in the water, or…"

"Or," she mumbles while pushing me backward in the direction of the bedroom, where she pushes me onto the bed, hovering above me. Her voluptuous body is almost too much for me to take. Her breasts touch my chest and we both groan as our lips meet in a hungry kiss. She's straddling me, and I can feel her wetness on my stomach.

"Baby," I moan into her mouth. She responds with her tongue, her hands grabbing my hair. We're wild and lustful and needy. I kiss a line from her chin to her neck, and lower, to her breasts, drawing her higher on my body while I slip lower until I'm only two inches from my happy place. With one gentle pull, she's on top of me, holding on to the headboard while I bury my face in her.

She's hot and swollen and soft, tasting tangy and sweet as I lick and suck. My fingers are squeezing her butt, holding her close. The sounds Bella makes are divine; I love her groans and grunts and little cries. She trembles all over when she comes, seemingly forever, and then collapses next to me, panting.

"How… do you do that?" she whispers. Her cheeks are rosy, her bangs matted to her forehead.

"I guess I just love you," I reply.

"Mmm…" She grins and starts to runs her fingers down my chest. "In that case, I think it's my turn to show you how much I love you…"

**oOo**

**Thank you so much for all your sweet reviews for the first outtake. You guys make me really happy!**

**So do you, dellaterra, my dearest beta!**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**There are a few more small outtakes, which I will post in the days to come. **

**Hugs and kisses from**

**Your **

**harperpitt**


	49. Outtake Three

Outtake 3**: At the Movies**

**oOo**

Sliding back into my seat, I hand Bella the bucket of popcorn.

"Here it is." I kiss her cheek before I turn my attention to the screen. There's a preview for the fifth part of the werewolf saga, and I'm excitedly slurping my coke, eyes glued to the screen.

I love sophisticated movies. I adore Stanley Kubrick. I love Hitchcock, Fellini, Cronenberg. And I love me some brainwashin' werewolf movies –

"Eww."

_The vampire dude is slashin' the werewolf –_

"Eww."

"Are you okay, love?"

"Edward, this is sweet popcorn."

"But I ordered salty for sure."

She's pushing two or three bits into my mouth, not that I like popcorn, thank you very much.

"See?"

"Ugh… yeah…"

"Okay…" She's starting to move out of her seat. "I'm going to get some real popcorn."

"No, no, no, no." I kiss her wrist as I'm holding her back, standing up. "Sit back down, love. I'll get you the popcorn."

It's the least I can do. She's carrying a baby inside her body.

The line is impossibly long. I know I will never see the rest of the preview. Oh, what the hell, I can watch it online, or not at all. I buy Bella a new bucket of popcorn, which I try at once. Ugh. It is salted. Good.

I also buy her a root beer. And a real one for myself.

When I sneak back into the darkened theater, the opening credits have started. Luckily, it's not sold out, so I easily find my way back to Bella. She is watching the beginning of the movie as if it's a revelation.

I kiss her cheek. Bella flinches.

"God, you gave me a fright."

"Your popcorn," I whisper, handing her the bucket.

"Thanks," she whispers back.

On the screen, a young guy in an old-fashioned, tattered suit is getting drunk in an old-fashioned, tattered-looking bar.

Bella's fingers grab my arm, and she sighs.

_Huh?_

"_George,"_ a girl sighs, and Bella sighs too. Apparently, the film takes place in Paris of the late nineteen hundreds.

I wrap my arm around Bella's shoulder and kiss her cheek. She's been a bit teary all day, pregnancy hormones getting the best of her.

The film is very well made for all I can tell, and the story well told, but I don't seem to get it. Especially Bella's reactions, her sighs and tears and all the times she grabs my arm, my thigh, and knee. The guy is an asshole, playing with the women in his life, treating them like shit. His hair is greasy, and he is dressed up like a doll.

The sex scenes however, are rather hot, I have to admit, and I can tell that Bella feels the same way when her fingers mover higher on the inside of my thigh.

Just when I am really getting into it, Bella makes a small sound akin to a mewl. I look at her worriedly, but quickly decipher her expression: the guy in the movie did something. Something bad.

Bella's nose scrunches up, and she bites her lip. She swallows, my thigh forgotten.

So I return to watching the happenings on the screen. I guess I am scowling a bit.

Pretty Guy fucks a lot of women, rakes his hands though his hair, curses and drinks. There's a universal sigh when he drops his pants for the first time to get into bed with the first girl, and Bella bites her lip. She looks cute, her hair a messy frame in the dark of the movie theater, squeezing my hand.

Bella cries when the film ends, and I hug her close, kissing the top of her head while she sniffles into my chest.

"Did you enjoy the movie, love?" I ask softly.

"It was wonderful," she cries. She looks up at me, wet eyes and pink cheeks. "I love you," she whispers. "I love you, Edward."

"And I love you."

I kiss her tenderly, and the sounds Bella makes are much sweeter than the ones she made over Pretty Boy.

**oOo**


	50. Outtake 4

**A Cedric's point of view from around the time Bella became pregnant.**

**oOo**

Outtake 4**: How Cedric Helped Make a Baby**

Nom nom nom. I don't know why chewing on stuff is so much fun.

Like now. I figured out some time ago how to open this little thingy on his side of the bed. You know, that little house he has there with a flat box I can pull out.

New Yorkers just don't know how to entertain a cat, you see? So I made my own entertainment park, as far as it goes.

The drawer.

I love to sit in it. Makes me feel superior, like the captain of a ship.

I also love to throw things out of it. Took me a moment to figure that one out, but the sound when things land on the floor is very satisfying.

She doesn't like it when I do any of that. Sitting in here, throwing stuff out, whatever.

I'm sniffing my way through the small space, but there doesn't seem to be much of interest. A papery thing between two pieces of cardboard. A longish thing… Ah, I know that one, it makes a scratching sound when he uses it on paper.

A small bottle. Wow, this rattles when I push it. That's fun. Little white things in it… Oh, I know. They take one out when one of them is yammering and frowning and putting wet cloths on their forehead.

I play with it for a while until I get bored.

A slightly larger, slimmer, and lighter bottle – huh? I roll it to and fro, but I don't get the point. There are tiny bubbles, and I am working on getting them, but the bottle keeps rolling away. Frustrating.

I stretch and flex my paws so my claws appear. I yawn.

Wow. My left front claw is hooked up into something smooth. It's small and flat. There's something circular in it. But that's it. Feels like one of those things she uses to pull up her hair, only this is in a package.

Anyway, I dig my claw right in, but nothing happens. Except for the fact that it's hard to wriggle my claw out of it again, since the object is now stuck to it.

Hearing their voices, I go into a slight panic. I know she doesn't want me to do this. I wriggle around until I'm free of the tiny thing and smoothly jump out of my captain's spot.

I hide under the bed. I did that when she brought me back. She thought I was traumatized after my long time in paradise, and lay down on the floor several times a day to coo at me. Of course I remembered her, but shit like that has to be punished, right? Both of them left me for an eternity. They don't need to know that I was in heaven with those gentle, nice-smelling guys who waited on me day and night.

Nom, I loved it when the thinner one of them, the one with the light voice, actually cooked for me. And _they_ didn't hump each other all the time. Just saying.

I let her stew on it for a couple of days and when I returned from under the bed, both of them were so happy they spoiled me for weeks.

_Mmm-hmm._

I guess I'll need to play that card today.

They are making those sounds again.

I know I'll be thrown out, but I want to get a snack and a hug before I go to sleep.

They make a lot of OOM an AAH and OOH, and the surface above me shakes.

"_Meow!"_

"Oh…"

"Ahh…"

"Uh…"

"_Mee-ow."_

"Mmm…"

"Oh…"

"Ungh…"

"_Mee-OW!"_

"Ahhhh…"

"_MEEE-OWWW!"_

"Oof."

"Oh no."

She calls me, and I put on my "neglected" face as I slowly crawl out from under the bed.

"Hi baby," he coos, then takes a deep breath before he lifts me up.

He turns back to her, and she doesn't seem pleased.

What? I didn't break anything and I didn't pee on anything, I'm good. I'm a hero!

"Just taking him down and giving him a treat. It's Christmas, baby. I'll be right back."

Nom nom nom. He gives me the _good_ stuff and pats my back before he leaves again.

I can hear him shut the bedroom door.

Well, I guess it's all for the best that I'm down here. They'll be doing loud things all night.

_Urgh._

I did have fun with his things anyway. Except that tiny foil package my claw got stuck in.

Hope it wasn't anything important.

**oOo**


	51. Outtake Five

Seth's photo shoot for Edward's birthday present in chapter 31.

**oOo**

Outtake 5: **Photoshoot**

"Stop being embarrassed."

"I'm sorry…"

"You're fucking beautiful, Bells. Relax."

"That's easy for you to say," she complains, never dropping the sheet one inch. "You're not naked."

"I could be, but neither you nor I would want that," I chuckle.

"No!" Bella squeals, but she giggles.

"Sweetie." I crouch down next to her. "We don't have to do this…"

"But I want to! Edward will love it!"

"Okay, babe, then you'll need to relax. It's just me, okay?"

"Okay."

Sighing, Bella sinks down into the sofa. I wish I could hand her a glass of champagne, but since that's out of the question, music will have to do the job.

Once I've connected my iPhone with the sound system and Frank Sinatra croons his sappiest songs, Bella smiles. We talk and I shoot pictures of her to warm us up. Well, to warm me and my camera up as far as angles and light are concerned. To warm my best friend of twenty years up to drop the sheet. Because she wants that picture for Edward.

"Bells?"

"Yes?"

Her frown is immediate.

"Bells, um. Okay." I set down my camera and sit down next to her. "Sweetie?" I take her hands in mine.

Her huge brown eyes are worried.

"Yes?"

"Bella, you need to relax, or whatever, think about your hot hubby, but if you want me to take a picture of you like you told me you will have to drop that sheet some time…"

Bella smiles. "Sorry," she whispers.

And then, my best friend shocks me, because she drops the sheet, surprising me with the sight of her voluptuous breasts.

"Seth?" she smiles sweetly. "Are you embarrassed? Or what?"

"Now we're talking," I chuckle, and get behind the camera. She wants me to produce her birthday present for Edward? I'm in.


	52. Outtake Six

**oOo**

Outtake 6: **Bathtub Conversations**

"Favourite food."

Hah!

"Oh. Mmm." Edward scratches his neck, giving me the opportunity to kiss his forearm.

"Okay," he starts. "I like Italian, obviously. But I also love Chinese. Oh, and I like freshly baked bread. Does avocado count?"

"Okay."

"You."

"Steak," I beam, kissing him full smack on the lips. "And chocolate."

"You didn't need to tell me this," Edward chuckles.

"Favourite actress," I say.

"No no no! My turn."

"Okay." I kiss his thumb.

"Favourite… " Edward thinks for a long time. "Okay. Favourite smell."

"You."

Edward sighs and kisses me.

"My turn," I murmur.

"Mmm hmmmm…"

We kiss, and kiss.

And kiss…

"Actress," I mumble against Edward's delicious lips.

"You."

And we kiss.

"Contemporary?" he finally asks.

"I don't mind."

I gather some soapy bubbles in my hand and spread them over Edward's thigh.

"Mmm. Okay…"

He falls silent, passing one finger up and down my arm.

"Susan Sarandon."

"Seriously?" I half-turn my head so I can look at him.

"She is one hot woman," Edward says.

"Yeah, but isn't she, like, in her sixties?"

Edward wraps his massive legs around me and nuzzles my ear with his nose.

"I don't fucking care if she's in her eighties. She's a beautiful woman. What, Isabella?"

He looks at me, bright green eyes alive and awake.

"I will still find you hot when you're in your fifties, or eighties." He playfully bites the side of my neck. "Or hundreds. Ah, if only I was a vampire, and could make you immortal!"

"You're silly," I giggle, Edward's lips tickling my neck while he pretends to bite me.

"Okay." He suddenly stops. "You. Hot actor. And don't try to tease me with that Olivier guy."

"Colin Firth," I blurt.

Actually, I think that it was a bit fast. Like I'm thinking about Colin. Or something. Like I would be naming Ryan Gosling as the second hottest guy.

"He's in his fifties," Edward says.

"So what," I say, turning around in his arms so I am on top of him. "You're almost in your forties. Does it matter?"

"Um… no. Of course not."

Collecting more bubbles in my hand, I spread them over his arm.

"Okay, and other than Miss Sarandon? I'm dying to hear it…"

"You're being silly," he chuckles. "You know what films I like." He kisses my neck. "And you know that you are the only one for me."

I sigh with excitement and frustration.

"Okaaay." Edward sits up, pulling me against his slick body. "I like… Well, I like

"Grown women who can speak their mind, huh?"

"I wasn't thinking about that. You wanted me to list my favourite actresses. I also like Helena Bonham-Carter."

"You just like British girls!" I take his hand and place it on my breast, at which Edward kisses my ear.

"I like _you."_

**EDWARD**

We're in our bed and our lips melt in a long kiss, but I know that Bella isn't finished yet.

"Actors," she demands.

"Actors? What? My favourites of all time? Sexiest ones?" I tickle her breast.

I once told her that I kissed a man on a drunken night and she likes to go back on it every once in a blue moon.

"Sexiest first."

"Sexy in which way? Who you might find sexy? Or I?"

"You."

"Okay." I kiss her temple. "Paul Newman."

"Agreed."

"Frank Sinatra."

"You find Fran-"

She doesn't get to finish as I kiss her.

"Not the guy but the voice."

"It doesn't count," decides Bella. "Sexy."

"Cary Grant. "

"You would want to make out with Cary Grant?"

"No." I kiss her, and in a way that should tell her that this particular conversation is over. "I am not into men. I love women. You."

Roaming her creamy skin with my lips I murmur nonsense, feeling how agitated she is getting.

"Cary… Colin… Hugh… Paul… " With each name I kiss my way down her body until I have reached the cropped curls that lead to my candy store.

"Edward…"

"Johnny…" Lick. "Viggo." Lick. "Ashton." Lick. "Matthew…"

"Edward… oh…oh my God…"

"Ryan…" Lick.

"Edwa… ahh… ahhh…"

"Robert…"

Lick.

**oOo**


	53. Outtake Seven

OUTTAKE: Cedric's Goodbye

Thank you, my darling dellaterra, for betaing!

**WARNING: Very sad outtake.**

**oOo**

Once Edward has put Lizzie in bed, singing her a lullaby and taking the baby monitor with him, he joins me on the sofa. I sigh when he sits behind me, wrapping his arms around my huge belly.

"Are you okay, love?"

"Mmm. Yes." I sigh, a small yawn escaping my mouth.

Edward chuckles softly and kisses my ear. Gentle fingers caress our unborn baby.

"Did you feed Cedric?" I ask, yawning again.

"I put food in his bowl," Edward replies. "But he didn't show up. Come to think of it…"

"What?" I moan happily because Edward has started to massage my shoulders. I've been so tense all day. I may not be working right now, but my two daughters – one soon to make an appearance – are taking their toll on me.

Edward kisses the side of my neck while his hands work their magic on my knotted sinews. I sigh happily, relaxing completely under his touch.

"What do you think about a warm bath?" Edward whispers into my ear, his breath tickling me deliciously.

"It would be heaven…"

The next morning is a Sunday, and I sleep in, which means that Edward and our daughter's smiles greet me once I get down to the kitchen. They are having pancakes, and Lizzie's chin is dripping with syrup.

"Hey!" Edward says, and Lizzie grins happily, waving one syrupy hand.

He pulls me to him, resting one hand on my big stomach, nudging my nose with his.

"Are you okay?" His sweet breath fans across my lips.

"Mmm-hmm." I kiss him.

"Want some pancakes?"

He kisses me thoroughly, Lizzie blissfully fiddling with her pancakes.

"Um… yes…"

We sit down, and while Edward cleans our daughter's face, I help myself to a pancake.

"Daddy?" Lizzie says.

I take a huge bite of my delicious breakfast.

_So good._

"Yes, my little munchkin?"

"Why did Thed-wick not eated bweakfast?"

"I don't know," Edward shrugs, glancing at Cedric's bowl. I follow his eyes. Cedric is a glutton. He never misses a meal, yet the bowl is still full.

"When did you last see Cedric?" I say, addressing both of them, my voice sharper than I meant it to be.

Edward's eyebrows crinkle as he thinks.

Our daughter speaks immediately.

"Thed-wick laid down," she lisps.

I've tried to ignore the rock sitting in my chest until now.

"Where did he lay down?" I have darted out of my seat and bring myself to eye level with Lizzie.

"Owah the-ah," she responds, flailing her tiny arm in the direction of the dining room.

_Fuck._

_Cedric never sits, or sleeps, in the dining room._

"Baby?" Edward asks. "Are you okay?"

"No. No I am f… freaking _not_ okay," I say, getting up, which takes me a second longer once again, and heading in the direction of where my old, sweet, fat, red tomcat might be.

As I cross the threshold to the next room, I start calling out for him in a cooing voice.

"Cedric? Ceeeedric? Sweetiecat? Hey? Cedric?"

Nothing.

By the time I reach the stairs, I'm out of breath. Edward has joins me there.

"Do you think he's hiding?"

He looks very sad. He pulls me close and kisses my cheek.

"I don't know!" Tears are winning. I already know what's happening.

"He's old, Bella." Edward kisses my temple.

"I know that!" I scream. "Just shut the fuck up and let's find him and let's hope he'll be with us for… whatever…"

So we are a little search party. Edward coos and rattles snacks downstairs, and I do it upstairs.

It takes us an hour.

I only find him because he is actually on my side of the bed, and he tried to jump down when he heard me. He did jump down, but landed in a little… heap… and couldn't move.

He's not the Cedric I know.

He is clearly helpless, and maybe in pain.

He is silent when I pick him up and gather him in my arms. Like a tiny newborn. But dead weight. Not a mewl, not a meow.

"Edward," I pant once I reach him.

I can actually see his face switch from husband to doctor and back.

"He, he, he…" I hiccup.

Edward takes the cat from me and has a look. His expression darkens.

"Call a cab," he instructs. "I'll call Alice to look after Lizzie."

An hour later, we're at the University Animal Hospital. And we have to wait. Cedric is silent in his carrier.

Too silent.

Our daughter has woken and is kicking her merry way. Edward kisses my temple.

"Cedric," I whisper into his carrier. "Cedric, baby, please. You've been with me through all of this. You're my New York cat… Please… please… I love you so much… so much…"

"Cullen," a light voice announces from the hallway, and both Edward and I dart out of our seats, Edward grabbing Cedric's carrier.

We follow the receptionist into the room.

The vet is working on his computer, but turns his chair around to face us the minute we step into the office. He gets up and I can see in his face that he has been informed about our situation.

"Mrs. Cullen, Dr. Cullen." He shakes our hands. "I'm Dr. Gendler," he introduces himself before turning his attention to the patient inside the carrier, which I have taken from Edward and am placing on the examination table.

"Mmm, would you like to come out?"

Cedric doesn't even make a peep when Dr. Gendler takes him out of the container.

Edward and I watch with clasped hands and teary eyes as the doctor examines our Big Red Boy.

"He's been hiding all day," I say. "And he… he…"

Edward pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head.

We both know what the doctor is going to tell us.

And we're right.

"He had a stroke," Dr. Gendler sighs, slightly shaking his head. "He's blind. He…" He heaves a big sigh. "There is only one thing I can recommend."

I bury my face in Edward's chest as I cry, because I know Dr. Gendler is right.

I hear Edward as he speaks.

"Should we do this… now?"

The doctor's voice is still soft, and calm. He has to do this every day. He's a pro. And a good one at that.

"Yes," he replies, a flicker of sadness crossing his face.

"Okay."

Moments later, Edward and I are sitting in a small room. Cedric is next to us, almost unconscious, on a clean sheet.

And then he wakes for a second, huge amber eyes staring up at me.

The venom is already working its way through Cedric's little system.

He looks at me with tired, amber eyes before he settles down for his eternal nap.

"I love you," I whisper into his soft fur. "I love you so much, Cedric. So, so much."

He gives out a big breath, and I stroke him, tears pouring down my cheeks.

Cedric.

My big red Cedric.

Gone.

And I howl into his fur.

Edward touches my shoulder.

"What?" I sob.

"Can I give him a goodbye-kiss too?" he asks.

And he does, and I have never seen him cry this much.


	54. Outtake Eight

**Outtake Eight**

**Thank you from the bottom of my heart, dellaterra.**

**Okay, I couldn't leave you with that sad outtake about Cedric, so here comes some serious fluff. This is the good thing about being the queen of my fictional universe: I can do whatever I want.**

**oOo**

**EDWARD**

Mmm… In my dream, I'm floating on an air mattress in the sea. The water is lapping around me, stroking my belly like gentle mermaid's kisses. It's heavenly. Warm… soft… wet…

"Ohhh!" I finally and completely wake to the sound of my own groan. A groan that is caused by the sensation of eager lips. On my cock.

"Oh God… Bella…"

My eyes trail down my bare chest, to where her dark hair is splayed over my hips. She looks up at me through long lashes, a mischievous glint in her expression.

"Morning," she whispers, her hot breath making me shudder. Before I can reply, she gives me another lick, and every cell in my body stands at attention. And then, she takes me in her mouth, and my hands grip the bed sheets, all thoughts dissolving in the intense waves of lust she causes, for minutes or hours, I'm not sure, until I practically explode into fireworks of pleasure.

_What a wake-up call._

"Phew…" I pant, slowly calming down.

Bella's head is sweetly heavy on my stomach, her fingertips drawing small circles around my bellybutton.

"Isabella…" I'm slowly regaining my breath.

"Hmm?" She nuzzles my belly with her nose, her hair tickling me pleasantly.

"C'mere," I murmur and pull her up to me so she's lying on top of me, her curves divinely soft beneath my hands.

I don't tell her how much I love her softness, knowing that, almost twelve months after Lizzie's birth, she still wants to lose the – to me, invisible – remainder of her baby weight.

I will probably never understand women. To me, she's never been more beautiful. Of course her body changed a little as a result of the pregnancy. She looks like a woman.

My hot-blooded, sexy woman.

"Bwa-bwa…"

The baby monitor on the nightstand.

"Bawaa…bubub…"

Bella sighs and presses a soft kiss to my neck.

"I'll go and get her."

"I'll do it," I reply, sitting up. "I'll be right back." I kiss her forehead, and slip into my pajama pants before I leave the room.

Lizzie greets me, already standing up in her crib, holding onto the railing, with a huge grin that makes my heart dance. She raises her arms, which is her way of communicating that she wants to be lifted up. Lizzie is wearing her footed pajamas. She has developed this way of tossing off her blankets, at night, and we don't want her to get cold. She looks too cute in them, all pink and with little bunnies.

"Hey, sweetie!" I settle her on my hip and kiss her chubby, sleep-warm cheek.

"Bwub," she says, pointing to the crib. "Boo."

"Sure, sweetheart." I grab her Winnie-the-Pooh, which is actually my old one, worn and frayed. She grins when I hand it to her, and chews on Pooh's ear.

"You want to come to bed and cuddle with Mommy and me?"

"Mommy," she grins.

I can't wait for the day she says daddy. Damn, I'll be grateful for dada… anything. She's been saying mommy for three weeks, and two weeks before that, it was mama. Of course she sees much more of Bella than of me, but, oh, I can't wait for the word!

"Hello, sweetheart!" Bella is sitting up in bed, laughing at Lizzie's squeals as I make her fly to her mommy.

She nuzzles her neck and Lizzie giggles, which in return makes Bella laugh. Best sound in the world. Bella wraps her arms around our little treasure and kisses her bronze curls.

I join them in bed, alternately tickling Bella and Lizzie, who is tickling back with tiny fingers. I pretend to be very affected, crying, "ooh!" and "woo," which makes Lizzie giggle all the more. Somewhere in the middle of it all, we are joined by Cedric, who stubs us with his nose and meows happily. He throws himself down on his back, exposing his fluffy belly, which only Lizzie is permitted to pat. Our cat totally fell in love with our daughter the day we carried her in. On some level he understood that Lizzie was a tiny being that needed to be protected. Now that she has grown bigger, they are play buddies.

After a few minutes, Cedric drapes his large, orange self over my feet, and Bella and Lizzie cuddle into my arms.

"So what do you want to do today?" Bella says. "Do you want to go to the zoo? Or to the park?"

"Bwub," Lizzie replies.

"Yeah? You want to go to the park with Daddy and Mommy?"

Bless my sweet wife, she's continually talking to Lizzie about Daddy – _me_. God, that thought still makes my heart flutter.

After some more cuddling, Bella goes to have a shower and I take Lizzie back to her room, where I change her diapers and put her in a green cotton dress, socks and tiny sandals.

We have breakfast in the kitchen, Bella and I sipping cups of coffee and eating toast, fruit and scrambled eggs while I help Lizzie with her cereal with half a sliced banana.

Bella and Lizzie play in the living room while I go up to take a shower, and after that, we make our way to the park.

It's a beautiful, sunny day, the late August sun warm but without the fierceness it had a couple of weeks ago. Central Park's trees will be changing from rich greens to red and yellow in the weeks to come. Lizzie has a great time looking for chestnuts, handing them to Bella and me.

"Bwubb," she informs me as she presents me with a leaf.

"Thank you so much, Lizzie-Pea!"

She grins happily.

"Wa?" She points at the Lake.

"Yes, sweetie," Bella says, taking her hand. "This is the water." She lifts her up and we hold her between us.

Lizzie grabs my nose and repeats it. "Wawa."

"Yeah, honey, it's water. Like when we go swimming on Thursdays, you know? With all the other daddies and little girls and boys?"

Lizzie grins and I kiss her cheek.

"Daddy loves you so much," I whisper, and I guess my light stubble is tickling her, because she giggles.

Bella's dark eyes shine with happiness as she watches us.

Later, we have lunch at a little café, sitting outside, enjoying the lovely weather, storing up on the sun before autumn Lizzie has fallen asleep in her stroller. Her tiny hands are twitching now and then as she dreams.

"Mom was asking me last week what we were doing for your birthday," I say, my fingers running circles on Bella's palm.

"_Mine_?" she laughs. "First comes Lizzie's!"

"Yeah, but we already agreed to have a party for her. Mom was specifically asking about you." I watch her, content to see a small smile at the corner of her mouth. And that – her mouth – reminds me of earlier, and how I am going to get even later on.

"What?" Bella's nose crinkles as she considers me.

I guess my expression gives me away.

"Hmm," I smile. "I was just thinking of ways to convince you to let us have a party for your birthday. We didn't do anything last year."

"That was because our daughter was eleven days old," Bella reminds me, but her voice betrays her amusement.

"So can we have a party? A little one?" I move my chair closer to hers and nuzzle her nose with mine, our foreheads touching. "Please?" I whisper against her lips.

"Fine," she mumbles before we lose ourselves in a long, sweet kiss.

Lizzie naps for another hour when we get home. She's a wonderfully easy sleeper, conking out at eight p.m. and waking again at seven in the morning, then taking a two-hour nap after lunch.

I work for a couple of hours in my study, but eventually call it a day. It's Sunday, after all. I call Mom, who is delighted to hear that there will be a party for Bella, and she wants to hear every last detail about her granddaughter's week.

When I emerge from my study, Bella is bustling around in the kitchen while Lizzie is pulling her sheep toy after her. It's one of those learning things, which makes sounds that are inevitably bound to drive parents to the loony bin sooner or later.

"_What says the sheep?" _

"Baa, baa, baa," Lizzie sings along with the toy.

"_What says the pig?"_

"Onn, onn, onn."

"_What says the cat?"_

"Weow, weow, weow…"

"Baby…" I wrap my arms around Bella's waist from behind as she stands in front of the fridge, deciding what she needs for dinner.

"Hey…"

I place a tender kiss on her neck.

"_What says the cow?"_

"Woo, woo, woo!"

Bella turns around in my arms.

"Hey…" Standing on her tiptoes, she kisses me softly.

"_What says the dog?"_

"Oop, oop, oop!"

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" She scratches the back of my neck.

"Baby… can we… can we stop this?"

Pulling back, she looks at me with huge, dark, confused eyes.

"Stop? Stop what?"

"_What says the sheep?"_

"Baa, baa, baa!"

Bella smiles, still puzzled.

"What, darling?"

"The toy?" I shrug. I kiss her. "How do you stand it?"

"I don't even notice it anymore," she shrugs, walking toward Lizzie and crouching down next to her.

Cedric has joined us in the kitchen, his favorite place to be due to the fact that this is where his bowl is.

"Hey, sweetie. Would you like to come and play with Daddy and Cedric?"

She looks at me, so Lizzie's eyes automatically follow her.

"Dada?"

"Yes, sweetie. Dada."

Bella's eyes grow darker as tears gather in them.

"Dada?"

It doesn't take me two seconds to lift my daughter into my arms and kiss her little cheeks.

"Dada, Dada…"

She's trying out her new word while I kiss her warm, soft hair, and Bella joins me, slipping into my arms.

Cedric, who is insistently nudging our shins, is finally lifted up and allowed into our big hug.

I never knew it was possible to love so much.

And be loved so much.

**oOo**


	55. Gilbert

**Okay, here it is: The OUTTAKE for _Wake Up and Dream,_ written for the Fandom for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.**

**Thank you to everyone who took part in the auction and helped F4LLS.**

**This bit takes place sometime after the epilogue and Outtake 2: Bella is pregnant with Gilbert.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

_**The biggest and most heartfelt thanks to my wonderful beta, dellaterra. Working with you means so much to me. Thank you so, so, so much!**_

**ooOoOoOoo**

**EDWARD**

"Look, Daddy!"

Lizzie smiles happily as she shows me her creation: a Play-Doh house with a horse in front. The house is pink and green, and the horse is yellow.

"It's lovely, honey," I say, trying to keep an eye on Carlie, who is squealing in the ball pond, jumping up and down like a maniac. Sometimes, despite her shyness, our younger daughter is quite a wild one, but her hair is just growing back over the scar on her head. I need to get both children back to their mother in one piece, so I'd rather watch her. She waves and dives back into the hundreds of colored balls.

The kids were getting bored after several days of rain, and since Bella can't do much with her cold, I decided to take them to the Children's Museum of the Arts. They are having a great time painting and playing dress-up and absorbing information.

"Hey, pumpkin!"

A giggling Carlie stumbles into my arms. I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor with Lizzie by my side. Carlie sits on my thigh. I kiss her curls.

"Did you have fun, sweetheart?"

She nods enthusiastically. "De ballvev fum," she declares, then yawns.

"Daddy?" Lizzie says. "Can we buy some Play-Doh for Gilbert?"

"Sure, honey. But you realize that Gilbert will be very tiny when he joins us, right? Like Carlie was when she came."

"Of _course_," Lizzie says. "I'm not a baby!"

I have to hide my smile. Nothing is cuter than a five-year-old speaking her mind with complete seriousness. And pouty lips. She even stomps her foot very lightly.

"I know you're not a baby," I say, which makes her grin proudly. I kiss her soft little cheek.

"Okay my lovelies," I say, getting up and stretching my limbs. Man, I don't like being forty-four. I don't like the wrinkles on my forehead, or the ones at my eyes. I don't like the grey streaks at my temples.

_I don't like the fact that I seem to be so vain._

Or maybe it's just that Bella is almost ten years younger than I am.

Carlie clings to my leg until I lift her up and settle her on my hip. I gather our shoes and put on Carlie's while Lizzie manages the task on her own. We collect our coats in the entrance hall and step out into the drizzle. Carlie's face scrunches up. She doesn't like water much, especially if it's cold.

"C'mere." I lift her up again. She's wearing a raincoat with Benjamin Bunny on the back.

With Lizzie's hand in mine, we make our way back to the car and I strap Carlie into her seat and help Lizzie fasten the belt.

"Ladies, do you want to listen to some music?" I turn around once I'm in the driver's seat.

Both girls nod enthusiastically, so I put on the _Pete's Dragon_ soundtrack, which is their favorite. We have watched this movie about seven hundred times with them. We sing along to "There's Room for Everyone." Carlie always sings, "Eena dabbon dedernf apafe…" in place of "even a dragon deserves a place." She's adorable. They both are.

**BELLA**

I've been feeling sick for a few days. My nose runs and my head aches, and all I want to do is sleep. The weather changed after my birthday a week ago, and it seems to be raining all the time.

I'm stranded on the sofa while Edward takes the girls to the Children's Museum of the Arts. He's the best husband in the world, sensing that I just needed a few hours on my own without the responsibility of being a mother. I'm watching old episodes of _Will and Grace_, dozing off every now and then. Gilbert is very quiet today. Not so quiet that I'd get worried, just quiet. Maybe he feels the cold as well.

He's developing perfectly. I had an appointment with Katie the day before yesterday and she was very satisfied with our little boy. We have four-and-a-half weeks until his estimated due date, but I don't expect him to stick to it. Lizzie was two weeks early, and Carlie ten days. He'll be fine if he stays in my belly for another two weeks. Three would be even better.

I'm actually quite hungry. Maybe I should get up and prepare a cheese sandwich. I yawn.

On the TV, Jack is giving one of his terrible performances, and I chuckle, which makes Gilbert kick in response. The baby has a sense of humor.

I yawn again and drift off.

Four small hands wake me, touching my legs and my belly.

"Mommy…"

"Mommy, Mommy!"

"Mmm," I mumble groggily. "Hey…"

By now, my girls have climbed onto the sofa and I draw them into my arms, even though it's awkward with my huge belly.

"Hello my darlings," I murmur. "How was your outing?"

"We made you a painting," Lizzie says. "And a house."

"A house?"

"A Play-Doh house. With a horse!"

"Wow, that's nice. I can't wait to see it!"

"You're awake," Edward says from the door, crossing the room and sitting on the sofa, lifting my feet and placing them on his lap.

"When did you get back?" I yawn. "Sorry."

"An hour ago. Dinner's ready."

"Oh wow. You're a magician."

Edward chuckles and shakes his head.

"I'm not. Just a husband and dad, totally in love with his three ladies." He bends down to kiss my belly. "And baby boy."

We have dinner in the kitchen with the radio playing soft music. Edward has made a wonderful pasta dish with vegetables and meatballs, which I sprinkle liberally with Parmesan cheese.

The three of them tell me about their day at the museum.

"It's a great place," Edward says. "I liked that it _really_ is for children, catering primarily to their needs."

"We need to go there again. When the little one is here."

"My brother!" Lizzie remarks, grinning. She's looking forward to the day Gilbert will be with us, Carlie, on the other hand, doesn't fully understand what's going to happen.

"Bodder," Carlie grins as well in her highchair. She has tomato sauce all over her face.

"Yeah," Edward smiles, and for a second, all three of them look so alike.

_What a lucky girl I am._

After dinner, we clear the table and load the dishwasher. Edward takes Carlie upstairs for her bedtime routine, while Lizzie and I settle on the sofa. She leans her head against my big belly and I read her a story. Her small face is so pretty, so relaxed. She's nothing like I was as a kid. She has great self-confidence, and she's happy and stable like her father.

Carlie is a bit more like me, tending to be nervous and thin-skinned.

"… but wherever they go," I read, " a little boy and his Bear will always be playing."

I look at Lizzie. She's asleep, her breathing deep and even. I cradle her in my arms as best as I can with my belly. I'll wait for Edward to come down so he can carry her upstairs.

He smiles when he joins us a couple of minutes later.

"God, you two look cute."

He bends down to kiss me, and our lips meet warmly before he gathers our daughter in his arms, and carries her upstairs. He returns to me a bit later. He has changed his button-down for a T-shirt. This one says, "_Save a horse – ride a cardiologist_."

"Is this an invitation?" I ask.

Edward sits down next to me and wraps me in his arms. He kisses my cheek, my ear, and my neck.

"More like a doctor's order," he murmurs. "How do you feel?"

"A bit better, actually. Haven't sneezed in three hours."

"That's great."

"Do you want to watch some TV?"

I just want to lie here with him. I'm so exhausted, even though I did nothing all day.

"Sure, why not?"

We settle into a comfortable position, my head on Edward's chest and his hand on my belly. He surfs through channels, and we both groan about the shit that's on until we find a station that is broadcasting one of the _Thin Man _films. In it, Nick and Nora Charles have a baby, and we both smile and giggle at William Powell and Myrna Loy's antics. Their dog, Asta, now has a wife – Mrs. Asta.

"So cute," I murmur into Edward's chest. He smells so good, all clean and man and… Edward.

"So cute," he whispers against my forehead.

"Are you starting to kiss me, Dr. Cullen?"

"Maybe…"

He kisses his way to my lips. Warm, and soft, and loving. His fingers are splayed over my belly.

"Hey," he whispers, his hot breath mingling with mine.

"Hey."

"I missed you."

"Missed you too."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

His lips press against mine, nuzzling and teasing, and very soon, our kisses are open-mouthed and becoming more passionate. My heart is beating faster, and I want him, just want him.

"Edward…"

"Mmm?" He is rather busy, fondling my left breast.

"Bedroom…"

"Yeah," he mumbles against my neck, nibbling softly.

We walk upstairs hand-in-hand, stopping every now and then to kiss. I also grab Edward's ass. He has a perfect ass, firm and biteable.

Once inside our bedroom, Edward undresses me slowly, his eyes shining with every garment he removes.

"So beautiful," he whispers, kneeling in front of me and pulling down my panties. He kisses my round belly. Gilbert kicks lightly.

"Hey, little buddy."

My hands meet in his hair, which is soft and warm. Edward continues to kiss me, moving lower to the underside of my belly until he reaches the short-cropped curls between my legs. I can't see him any longer, only feel his hot breath and his lips. And then he grumbles.

"Won't work that way…" Gently, he pushes me toward the bed and helps me sit. "Lie back," he murmurs throatily, and I do, feeling his lips on my thigh. He parts my legs and lifts them to his shoulders. Seconds later, his tongue darts out for a thorough lick and I cry out. My moans spur him on, and he sucks and nibbles and licks until I'm panting breathlessly. When he enters me with one long finger, I'm done, trembling and thrashing around on the sheets.

"Ohmygod…" I try to catch my breath. Edward moves higher on the bed and lies next to me. His hair is a complete mess, and he smiles.

"You liked that," he states.

I giggle breathlessly. "Yeah, it was okay…"

"Okay, Isabella?" He raises one eyebrow.

"Good…" I grin deeper, because Edward tickles my side until I start laughing. "Okay, okay… awesome, mind-blowing, incredible…"

Edward smiles, and it looks totally sweet.

"I saw stars," I add, and close the small distance between us. "I love you so much." I peck his lips. "So much."

"I love you every bit as much," he whispers. His lips meet mine and as he starts kissing me. I can taste myself. It's strangely erotic. His tongue plays with mine, at once tender and greedy.

He's still dressed, and I pull at his T-shirt, my fingers brushing over his stomach, enjoying how muscular and warm it is, toying with the smattering of hair there. He raises his arms and helps me peel the shirt off, and I move on to the next task at hand, his jeans. I flick open one button after another until I can sneak my hand into his boxer-briefs. I moan when I feel him, hard and hot.

"Baby…" he sighs.

"Please… take off those pants…"

Seconds later, he's naked and behind me, fondling my breast and kissing the nape of my neck. I wiggle against him, feeling him between my legs. He makes a sound between a groan and a grunt as he slides into me. It always feels so good, so perfect when he's inside me, as if we were truly made for each other.

The patter of rain against the bedroom windows is steady and soothing while our sounds are anything but. My moans become louder each time Edward's speed picks up, He sneaks his fingers from my breast and over my belly until they are pleasuring me in the most exciting way.

"Oh, God… Edward… Oh… yes… yes… yes…"

I shudder as the most intense orgasm washes over me, shattering me into a million pieces. Edward moans deeply, thrusting rapidly and then stills with a tremble. We're silent, the rain the only sound in the room now.

I turn around in his arms. He looks relaxed, his eyes full of love. I kiss him, and he tastes salty. We're sweaty and sticky, but we fall asleep clinging to each other.

**EDWARD**

I am awakened by a dull sound in the bathroom.

Bella. Always having to get up at night to pee.

I sigh comfortably, happy that I can sleep on. The alarm clock tells me it's ten to two. Mmm… Four more hours… Heaven.

Another sound from the bathroom, a groan this time. I sit up and switch on the bedside lamp.

"Bella?"

I get up and cross the room. I knock on the bathroom door.

"Bella?"

A stifled moan, and I open the door. She's sitting on the edge of the tub, hugging her belly. Her face is contorted with pain, and there's a small puddle at her feet.

"Bella!" I dart to her and squat down, hugging her legs. "Baby, what's going on?"

"Contractions," she pants.

"When did they start? Why didn't you wake me?"

"At first… ugh…" She takes a deep breath. "At first, I thought it was Braxton Hicks. And then it changed. Those are contractions." Her face relaxes a little. "Phew, better now." She pauses. "My water broke a few minutes ago."

I take her hand.

"How far apart are the contractions?"

"I don't know… Six minutes? Maybe seven?"

_Already? _

I swallow, the reality of the situation suddenly overwhelming me. Bella is going to have this baby now, more than four weeks early! For a second, I panic.

"It's too soon," she groans. "This can't happen now…"

And then, my shock clears away, and I go into doctor mode.

Someone has to take care of the girls. I need to help Bella clean up and get dressed. I need to call the hospital. I need to –

I need to comfort Bella, who is crying.

"It's too early, too early…"

I sit down next to her on the edge of the tub and wrap my arms around her.

"Shh, love. He'll be okay. It's early, but he'll be okay. Come on, let's get you dressed."

After I've helped her clean her legs, we walk back into the bedroom. I put on the lights as Bella sits on the bed.

I rub my eyes and grab the phone to call Alice. She sounds groggy with sleep but immediately agrees to come over. While we talk, Bella goes into another contraction. I take my wristwatch from the bedside table and count.

Almost a minute. This boy seriously wants to join us.

Alice and I say good-bye and I return my attention to Bella, who has her eyes closed, a frown line between them.

"I'm scared," she mumbles.

"I know." I kiss her warm forehead. "He'll be okay, love."

She squeezes my hand.

_Oh, yeah, another one of those nights ahead of me and my poor fingers._

"I'll call the hospital, okay?"

"Call Katie," Bella says. "And you need to remind Alice to feed the cats. And call Dad and Sue, and your parents, and… Ugh." Her eyes get teary again. "Nothing's ready…"

I kiss her cheek. "His nursery is ready, except for the curtains. We have his clothes, and tons of diapers from the baby shower. He's fine to join us." I rest my forehead against hers. "We'll make it, Bella. I'm here. I won't leave your side." I kiss her softly. "Okay?"

She nods shakily.

"Do you want some water? Or a cracker?"

"No. Thanks." She sniffles. "Make those calls, will you?"

"Yes." I kiss her cheek before I get up.

Thirty minutes later, Alice and Jasper have arrived and we're in a cab transporting us to Lenox Hill. Bella's fingers are gripping mine as she goes through another contraction. She groans into my shoulder, and I whisper comforting words. The drive doesn't take us too long, and Paul from the birthing unit is waiting for us with a wheelchair.

Once we're on the sixth floor, Paul accompanies us to one of the delivery rooms. It's a comfortable, spacious place with wooden furniture and a large delivery bed. We help Bella sit down on it and Paul asks whether she will need a hospital gown.

"No," I say, "we have our stuff with us. But thanks."

"Okay," he smiles. "So I'll leave you to get changed. Dr. Marshall is on her way. Would you like me to send in Dr. Kachiri in the meantime?"

"Yes," I nod, while Bella grabs my hand as another contraction hits her.

Dr. Kachiri arrives just when I've helped Bella into her nightgown. She examines her and tells us that Bella is already six centimeters dilated.

"Looks like this young man is eager to join us."

"It's too early," Bella moans. "Can't you stop it?"

"Baby, he'll be okay," I try to comfort her.

"We can't do anything to stop labor now," Dr. Kachiri says. "Especially since your water already broke."

A curt knock on the door announces Katie Marshall's arrival. Since she helped bring our two girls into the world, she has a soothing influence on Bella.

"Try to relax a little, Bella. It will make everything easier. Maybe you would like to walk a bit?"

"Yes," Bella says, but then is overwhelmed by another wave of pain, which leaves her exhausted. I push strands of hair from her hot face.

"This might go really fast," Katie says. "Considering the contractions are already this close together."

"Let's hope so," Bella moans.

"I'll get you a cool cloth," I say. I kiss her forehead.

The next two hours are spent walking up and down the hospital hallway, and breathing with Bella as her contractions get closer and closer together. I cool her neck and rub her feet and try to calm her down. She doesn't want to take a bath, but she sits on the birthing ball and rocks back and forth while I help her maintain her balance.

Seth arrives shortly before Mom and Dad do. They stay in the waiting area, but Seth comes in and gives Bella some encouragement. He reminds her that Violet was born six weeks early because her mother was using drugs, and she has turned out to be perfectly healthy.

It actually helps Bella calm a little, and I mouth "thank you" to Seth when she doesn't see. He merely smiles and shrugs. He's known my wife for almost three decades.

He leaves when another contraction hits. This one seems stronger than the ones before, and Bella cries out in pain.

"I'm exhausted… I don't think I can go on…" she pants.

"You're doing so well, baby. Just a little bit longer, and it's all over." I kiss her warm cheek and run another ice cube over her collarbone.

She has her eyes closed, gathering her strength, and I am once again amazed by nature, and how it enables women to go through this experience. I certainly would have conked out by now.

"You're so brave," I murmur. "Imagine how happy Lizzie and Carlie will be once they get to see their little brother."

Bella groans and opens her eyes.

"This is definitely the last time I'm doing this, Edward," she hisses, and for a moment, I'm scared of her.

It's five-thirty when Katie proclaims that it's time to push.

**BELLA**

As God is my witness, I'll never have children again. Three is enough.

As I'm squatting on a soft rug with Edward on the bed behind me, supporting my body while I push, I just know that our family planning is completed.

He's actually doing a great job, encouraging and praising me all the time. It's painful, but not as much as the first two deliveries were. The pressure is getting stronger and stronger, and I'm not surprised when Katie exclaims that he is crowning.

"Gently, Bella. Don't push too hard."

I try to breathe but I can't because right now it hurts so fucking much, so I scream, and then. I feel him slip out, and Katie catches him. Carefully, Edward helps me lie on the bed and a second later, a very soft cry emerges from the tiny purplish creature that Katie places on my chest.

Oh my God, he is _so_ small!

Katie wraps a blanket around him.

"Is he okay?"

"An APGAR score of seven," she says. "Right now, the most important thing is to keep him warm."

Edward's arms are around us, his hand cradling our little boy, who is mewling softly. He doesn't like being away from his warm place inside me at all.

"Oh, my love," Edward whispers reverently. "Thank you."

"Here, Daddy." Katie hands him the scissors, and he cuts the umbilical cord.

"I'm going to page Dr. Yorkie," Katie says, referring to one of the hospital's neonatologists . "I want him to have a look at this little one."

"Yes," Edward agrees in a hoarse voice, and despite my exhaustion, I notice the worried undertone, which scares me shitless.

My belly is contacting and hurting again, and I moan unhappily.

"Are you okay, love?"

"Ungh… now the placenta wants out, I think."

Katie massages my belly, which hurts too, but it's over quickly. Just when she's covered me with a blanket, Dr. Yorkie comes in. He's a kind man with red hair and chubby cheeks.

"Mrs. Cullen, Dr. Cullen. I hear we have a new addition to the family." He sits on the side of the bed opposite Edward, slightly pulling Gilbert's blanket aside so he can have a look at him. He's still bluish, and has almost no hair. The skin at his temples is so translucent that I can clearly see his veins.

"Hello, young man," Dr. Yorkie says softly. "Will you come with me for a moment so I can have a look at you?"

My heart breaks as my baby is taken from my chest, and I almost go crazy with fear. I try to swallow them down, but I can feel the tears burn at my eyes. Hormones and fear make me sob.

"Shh, Bella." Katie takes my hand. "This is just a precaution. I'm pretty sure he's okay. The fact that he's slightly hypothermic is completely normal."

"Yeah?" I sniffle hopefully.

"Yeah. Now let's get you cleaned up so you can feel pretty for the new man in your life."

At that, another sob escapes my lungs.

_I have a son!_

I feel better once I'm clean and have slipped on a fresh nightgown. Katie also provides me with an ice pack for my lady parts and a bottle of Gatorade.

And then, at last, Edward returns with a teeny tiny blue bundle in his arms, a huge smile on his face. My heart flutters.

"Is he okay?"

"Yes." Edward sits down next to me and places our son in my arms. "Everything's in the right place." He grins.

"You're going to have to take care that he stays warm," Dr. Yorkie says. "He doesn't have a lot of body fat, but it's nothing dramatic. He weighs five pounds."

"Oh my God." Tears of relief pour down my cheeks as I look at our baby. He's asleep, his little nose scrunched up.

Dr. Yorkie smiles kindly. "He'll be okay, Mrs. Cullen. If I were you, I'd try feeding him now."

"Thank you… thank you so much…" Edward's voice is still thick with emotion.

"I'll look in on you later in the day, okay? It's up to Dr. Marshall how long she wants to keep you here, but I'd like to have Gilbert stay for a couple of days, just to make sure he has no difficulty breathing."

"Yes, okay," I whisper.

Edward helps me sit in a wheelchair and carries Gilbert as Katie accompanies us to my room. It's one of the nice big ones, and while I prepare to give Gilbert his first meal, Edward goes to the visitors' lounge to tell everyone that we have a healthy boy.

"Do you want me to stay for a moment?" Katie asks.

"Yes, if that's okay."

I trust her like I do few other people. She has helped me bring three human beings into this world.

"How do you feel now?"

"Exhausted," I say. I open my nightgown and place Gilbert at my breast, but he doesn't stir.

"I guess you'll have to wake him," Katie suggests. "That's often the case with preemies. He needs to sleep to develop, but he also needs food, and you have to remind him."

So I gently stroke his small, soft cheek. So small. So soft.

I take his tiny fingers and shake his arm.

I tickle his belly.

I wiggle his small leg.

And bingo! He screams. A weak and thin scream, but a scream nonetheless.

He opens his eyes, and for the first time, I'm able to see them. There are bluish-gray like all newborns, unfocused and a little murky.

"Hello, little fellow." I place my nipple at his lips.

Nothing.

"Hey. Hey, sweetheart." I put my pointer finger at his lower lip and again place him against my breast.

He has fallen asleep again.

"Oh dear. What should I do?"

"Try again," Katie encourages.

Edward returns, a happy smile on his lips, which vanishes the second he sees my distraught face.

"What is it?" He closes the distance between us and sits down next to me.

"He won't eat."

I stroke Gilbert's cheek and try to stimulate his lips with my pinkie.

"He's so small," Edward whispers, touching our son's foot. He bends down and kisses his head, which, beneath the blanket, is also covered with a pale blue hat.

"Hey," Edward croons, and I can hear the smile in his voice. "Hello, Gilbert."

He has opened his eyes again.

"You should really take that offering, buddy. You're the only guy besides me that she will let touch them, you know. And they're _gorgeous_!"

"Edward." I shake my head, aware of our company, but Katie chuckles.

"I'm serious," Edward whispers into the infant's ear. "You're the only boy this beautiful lady is offering this to."

And then, something incredible happens. Gilbert sticks out his tongue. I take the chance and place my nipple between his lips, and he sucks.

"I love you," I smile, and put a kiss on Edward's mouth before returning my attention to Gilbert Aro Cullen.

**EDWARD**

"Hello, shleepiehead!"

A small hand strokes my hair.

I just wanted to rest for ten minutes after returning home, but I guess I fell deeply asleep on the sofa. Lizzie grins at me, while Carlie is using my legs as a climbing contraption. The sun is beaming in through the huge French windows.

"Hey, my lovelies." I manage to hug them both at once.

"Auntie Ali told us that Gilbert arrived!"

Lizzie is very excited.

"Bibbert," Carlie repeats.

"Edward," Alice calls from the door. "I'm sorry, I couldn't bear to wake you. You're going to need your strength."

"Yeah," I nod and rub my eyes. "What's the time, anyway?"

"Ten-thirty."

"Okay, ladies," I turn back to my daughters. "Are you ready to meet your brother?"

Their response is deafening and very exuberant, so after I've had a shower and a slice of toast with two large cups of coffee, we all pile into the car with Alice and Jasper and drive to Lenox Hill.

"Come in," Bella's voice sounds softly from inside the room as I knock. I have Carlie on my hip and an excited Lizzie clinging to my leg.

I open the door and the sight before me, before us, is heartbreakingly beautiful. Bella has our little boy in her arm, smiling. She looks tired, with grey shadows under her eyes, but incredibly happy.

"Mommy!" Lizzie slowly walks to her. I instructed them not to be reckless around the baby – or Bella, for that matter, who is recuperating from the strain of giving birth.

"Hey, darling."

Lizzie is the first to step to the bed and peek at her brother.

"Come on in," Bella says, meaning Alice and Jasper. "Take a seat."

"Mommee!" Carlie whines, so I sit down with her on the side of the bed and help Lizzie climb up, too.

"This is Gilbert," Bella says.

"Oh my God, he's so tiny. But he's okay, isn't he? Edward told us he's okay." Alice's face is a mixture of worry and tenderness.

"He is," Bella says, and the relief is palpable. "He tends to get hypothermic, and it's not easy for him to stay awake when he's supposed to eat, but so far, I've managed to feed him three times."

"Wow, that's great." I lean in so I can kiss her. Her eyes are shining with love – mirroring mine, I suppose.

"Do you want to hold him?" she asks Lizzie.

Our older daughter is completely in awe as Bella places the infant in her arms, supporting her as she holds her little brother. I've never seen Lizzie so proud. Carlie is quietly watching them, a little confused and overwhelmed.

"Come, sweetheart. Give him a kiss," I suggest, so she doesn't feel left out.

She places a sloppy kiss on Gilbert's cheek, and then rests her head on Bella's thighs. A little click from Ali's direction alerts me to the fact that she's taking pictures.

"You look so perfect," Jasper says. "Congratulations, guys. I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks," she whispers.

"Homey, Mommy?" Carlie asks.

Bella ruffles her curls. "Yeah, baby, I'm coming home the day after tomorrow. The doctor wants to look out for Gilbert, and I don't want to leave him alone, you know? He's so tiny, and we're all a bit worried about him. But then we're coming home."

I can tell that Carlie is not happy with the news that her mom won't be coming home with us right now.

"And until Mommy and Gilbert are home," I address the girls, "we need to make sure that his room is ready for him. Are you guys going to help me with that? Going to Babies R Us and choosing stuff?"

Both nod their heads, Lizzie's pigtails bobbing up and down. It looks like her small brother is getting a little heavy, so I carefully take him from her arms. My heart soars as I hold him again, and the sheer, unconditional love almost bursts my heart.

Alice gets out of her seat so she can have a good look at her new nephew.

"He has your ears," she remarks. "And Bella's lips."

"Does he have any hair under the hat?" Lizzie enquires.

"Hardly," Bella says. "He really should have stayed in my belly four more weeks. We're lucky he's doing so well."

For a moment, the conversations around me are drowned out by my feelings for this helpless little bundle. He seems to weigh nothing as I hold him. I don't know about the ears, but he certainly does have Bella's lips, like all our children. Lucky them.

"Edward?" My sister has her eyebrows raised.

"Huh? Sorry."

"No problem." She smiles. "I was just saying that Jazzy and I need to go now, but we'll be back tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Thank you. Thank you for everything."

"No problem, man." Jasper gives me a one-armed hug. "Call if there's anything we can do."

"Thanks," I say again, kissing Alice's cheek. She places a kiss on Gilbert's forehead.

"Bye-bye, little darling. See you soon."

After Alice and Jasper have said good-bye to Bella and the kids, it's time for Gilbert to eat. While she prepares, I explain to the girls that Mommy is going to feed Gilbert.

While Lizzie understands that the food for the baby is coming from Mommy, Carlie frowns when Bella places the baby at her breast. He needs to be woken once again, but when he has, he latches on. Not with the same gusto that his sisters had, but he does, which is what counts.

"I'm still going to have to pump," Bella says to me. "He doesn't drink that much."

"I'll ask someone to bring you one," I say.

Carlie nestles into Bella's side and she wraps her free arm around her.

Lizzie climbs into my lap.

"Mommy fed me like that too, didn't she?"

"Yep," I say, and have to smile. I curl one pigtail around my finger. "You used to like that very much."

"Why can't I do that now?" she inquires.

"Because when people grow up, they switch to normal food," I say. "You like spaghetti, and mashed potatoes, don't you?"

"Uh-huh. But why didn't I eat spaghettis when I was little?"

"Because you didn't have any teeth, and your body needed to get used to food," I try to explain, while Carlie pokes her little brother's foot. "And the milk from Mommy is the best for a newborn baby. But once you're older, you get to eat like a grown-up."

"Did Carlie eat from Mommy too?"

"Yeah," I say, "don't you remember?"

Lizzie shakes her head.

"Well, when Carlie was born, you were about the age she is now, and you were so happy to have a little sister, and you liked to sit with Mommy when she fed her. Look, just like Carlie does now."

Actually, Carlie still looks a bit confused by the whole situation. God, I hope there won't be any jealousy over the newest addition to the family.

Bella switches Gilbert to her other breast. She looks so beautiful, and so tired. Our son has fallen asleep again, and needs gentle prodding to be alerted to the milk bar in front of his nose.

For a second, I think back to last night, to what happened before Bella went into labor. We had hot sex, and it will be weeks until we can do it again.

_Oh my God._

Is this what caused Bella to go into labor in the first place? It's a known fact that prostaglandins and oxytocin can induce labor.

_Is this my fault?_

"Daddy." Carlie is crawling toward me, apparently getting bored with watching her brother's meal.

"Hey, pumpkin, what's going on?"

"Humby."

"Oh dear." I kiss her head. "Then we need to get some food, huh?"

"Why don't you take them to the cafeteria and get something," Bella suggests. "I'll have my lunch soon, too. We could have a picnic. What do you say, guys?"

"Yay! A picnic!" Lizzie cheers, and Carlie is infected by her exuberance, clapping her hands.

I look at Bella for a long moment. This woman is incredible. She gave birth to our son not even seven hours ago, and is already humoring her girls again.

I kiss her sweet lips before I take Lizzie and Carlie's hands and we go to the cafeteria. Where, of course, numerous colleagues walk up to us to congratulate me on our son. Word spreads fast in the small universe of our hospital. I'm lucky because Ben agreed to step in for me a third time, so I have two weeks with my family. Frankly, I don't even want to think about the time after that. The girls are more than a handful as it is, and Bella will have to cope with a preemie in addition. But I know we will find a way. We have a supportive family and wonderful friends, and I have great people at work, who will also do what they can to help.

Lizzie chooses a sandwich and Carlie wants "noobels" – her word for noodles. I get a sandwich as well, and also put three red apples on our tray. And three chocolate cookies for my ladies.

Bella has placed Gilbert back in his bassinet when we return. She looks like she has cried. Her eyes are bloodshot and red-rimmed, and she blows her nose.

I pull two chairs closer to the bed and settle the girls with their food before I sit down on the bed.

"Are you okay?" I ask softly.

Bella sniffles and nods. A tear escapes her left eye.

"Oh baby." I put my forehead against hers and take her hands in mine. "I love you so much. You're so brave, so strong, and I admire you so much, I adore you."

She smiles weakly. Another tear runs down her cheek.

"What can I do?" I whisper.

"Just that. Be here with me. I'm sorry."

"Don't say that." I kiss her softly. "You know it's completely normal. I want to help you through this. I love you so much."

"Daddy, eeky," Carlie says.

"It's not eeky, it's an olive," Lizzie tells her sister.

"Eeky!" Carlie exclaims again.

I kiss Bella once more before I turn to face my daughters. Carlie is squashing the olive between her fingers, chanting "eeky, eeky," while Lizzie shakes her head in a very superior manner and takes a bite of her sandwich.

"Okay, stop doing that, sweetheart." I pry the olive from Carlie's fingers. "You don't have to eat them if you don't like them." I locate three more on her plate and pick them out. "Here you go, my darling."

"Eeky, eeky," Carlie giggles.

"You're such a good big sister," I whisper into Lizzie's ear, which makes her beam.

I return to Bella's side. She's blowing her nose again, and wiping at her eyes.

"Do you want me to give a call to Dr. Banner?" I ask.

"I don't know," she shrugs. "No, not yet. I mean, I'm completely hormonal right now. Right?"

"Right." I take her hand and kiss it. "I'm here. I'm with you. I'll always be with you. I love you so much."

"I love you too." Her smile is teary and so touching.

I kiss her cheek, her temple, her nose.

"You should eat something, love."

"I know."

She straightens and sits up, looking at the untouched food on her bedside table.

I pull the table to her so it's over her lap. Broccoli, chicken and rice.

She takes the fork and tries a bit.

"Is it okay?"

"Yeah. It's nice." She smiles, and I can tell that she just wants to pull the covers over her head and sleep.

I take the fork from her and start to feed her, which puts a smile on her beautiful face. Frankly, I just want to make sure she eats.

"Daddy, why you feeding Mommy?"

"Because Mommy is tired. It was hard work for her to get your brother here, you know?"

_Oh, God, please God, don't let her ask about the procedure. Please. Not now._

"Mommy, you want my sandwich?"

Bella smiles.

"Oh, Lizzie, that's so sweet of you to ask. I have my own food here though. You eat your sandwich. Is it yummy?"

"Yep."

I feed Bella until she claims to be full, the only interruption being Carlie who cries "eeky!" when she finds another olive in her "noobels."

"I'm so tired, Edward."

Her voice is like sandpaper.

"Okay, girls," I say. "Are you ready to go to the store and buy stuff for your brother?"

**BELLA**

I am awakened from a deep sleep by my son's soft cries. Sleeping was gorgeous.

"Hey, little darling." I lift him from the bassinet. "You're hungry again, huh? Come here."

I place him at my breast and he drinks a little before falling asleep once more.

_Lucky him._

I wake him gently and he suckles another few minutes. I still can't get over how small he is. Five pounds, that's nothing. But Dr. Yorkie saw him this afternoon and said there was no reason to worry. He advised me to take walks with him to get him exposed to the daylight in order to prevent jaundice, and also to feed him frequently.

He needs to be kept warm at all times, so when he's finished eating, I have him lying on my chest and pull the covers over his tiny body, dozing off again myself.

I am startled by a knock on the door.

"Yes?"

Rose peeks in.

"Hi, Bella!"

"Oh, hi. Come in."

She shuts the door behind her and gives me a careful hug, aware of the sleeping infant on my chest.

"Congratulations," she says softly. "Oh, God, he's cute. And tiny!"

"He is," I nod. I pat the side of the bed. "Sit down. Why didn't you bring Em and the girls?"

"They'll be here in a moment," Rose says. "I came directly from work. Mom and Dad wanted to come over as well, if that's okay."

"Sure." I smile. We have the most wonderful family. Dad and Sue will be here tomorrow, and I just know that Dad will be crazy about his grandson.

"Would you like to hold him?"

Rose smiles. "Of course."

So I place Gilbert into her arms. He stirs swiftly, and his foot twitches, but he settles back to sleep.

Rose sighs. "Gosh, holding a newborn, it's so special…"

"Isn't it?"

I can't tear my eyes from my little boy.

"How are the girls?"

"Lizzie is totally proud. She already held him. Carlie is a little overwhelmed, I think. Edward took them shopping after they stayed over for lunch. He's coming back tonight while the kids stay with Seth for a couple of hours."

"How long do you need to stay?"

"I'm good to go, but Dr. Yorkie wants to keep Gilbert for two days."

"How do you feel?" Rose asks, lightly touching my little one's cheek.

"Quite okay. I had a crying fit when Edward was here, and I'm dog tired, but other than that, I'm okay. Sore, but, well, you know about that."

"Did you have an episiotomy?"

"No," I shake my head. "I'm really lucky, I know. I had him squatting, the same way I did with Carlie, and it's so much easier than lying on your back."

"You're such a trooper," Rose says. "I had epidurals with all three kids, so there was no squatting possible."

"It did hurt like hell," I say. "And this is definitely the last baby for me."

"Does Edward know that?" Rose chuckles.

"Not yet," I admit.

"Well, have fun telling him," she grins.

"I have my ways of convincing him," I say, raising my eyebrows suggestively.

Rose giggles delightedly and we indulge in more girly/mommy talk until a knock on the door announces more visitors.

Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Lily and Anna come in bearing blue balloons, bouquets of flowers and a large teddy bear. Everyone coos over Gilbert, and Esme holds him, her eyes shining with love. There aren't enough seats for everyone, so Anna sits on Emmett's lap and Lily joins me on the bed.

They stay for an hour, and though I love these guys like crazy, I'm glad when I can sink back against the pillows and close my eyes before it's time to feed Gilbert again.

Edward returns after seven, looking deadly tired, although his shining eyes tell me that he's very happy. He sits next to me and kisses me sweetly, his stubble scratching me.

"How are you, my love?" he asks, his forehead pressed against mine.

"I'm good," I say. "Tired. Happy."

"I love you so much," he whispers. "So much."

"I love you too."

We stay like this for a timeless moment, feeling so close.

"Come here," I murmur, our lips almost touching.

"I'm here…"

"Here, next to me."

He smiles, then moves away so he can take off his shoes. I lift Gilbert from the bassinet and Edward sits next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder before I place his son into the crook of his free arm. With Edward, he looks even smaller. I nestle in closer and put my head on his chest. I stroke Gilbert's foot.

"He'll be okay, won't he, Edward?"

"Yes." Edward kisses my temple. "Yes, love."

We're quiet for a while, and perfect.

"How are the girls?"

"They're good. Lizzie is so proud. She wants to help with everything. She really gets it that you need to get well, and that Gilbert will need special attention." He heaves a soft sigh. "She's so grown up since she started school."

"Yeah." I kiss his warm neck. He smells so good.

"I'm not sure about Carlie yet. I think she's looking at Lizzie for guidance. She's so used to being the baby of the family…"

"The typical middle child thing," I sigh.

"She'll be fine," Edward assures me. "Tomorrow, Lizzie is going back to school and Carlie goes to the daycare center."

We enrolled Carlie at the daycare place after her second birthday. She goes from Monday to Thursday, starting at nine and leaving at one. Usually I collect her first, then Lizzie, and we go home together and have lunch. Then we do all sorts of activities until Edward comes home and we share dinner. We did the same with Lizzie, because we both were slightly against the idea of our kids growing up in an ivory tower with a nanny. Carlie loves her place, and has made great friends there. Things may change once I go back to work, but that's not going to happen for another year, I think.

Gilbert is moving a little, flailing his tiny arm. A mewl comes from him, and his face is scrunched up.

"Someone's hungry," Edward says, carefully placing him in my arms.

I open my nightgown and put him at my breast. He latches on more easily than he ever did before, and I know that I'm smiling. Edward watches us silently, kissing my temple and cheek now and then. After some time, I switch Gilbert to my other breast. He doesn't get it and cries unhappily, but with a little coaxing, he gets the concept and drinks peacefully.

"So beautiful," Edward whispers. "I really envy you on that."

"You want to have boobs?" I cock my head and smile at him.

"Yours? Always." He smiles back and pecks my lips. "No, feeding him. It's such a wonderful thing."

"It is," I say. "Mostly."

"I feel so close to you though," he goes on, "for letting me share this with you."

Gilbert is finished, and I settle him on Edward's chest.

"Well, we need you. He needs a manly man to teach him how to burp."

Edward laughs sweetly, and taps Gilbert's back.

_God, his hand covers this child's whole body!_

Gilbert falls asleep on Daddy's chest and we continue to talk softly until my eyes are drooping and Edward kisses me goodnight.

Gilbert wakes me four times during the night, but I'm actually glad that he does, and that I don't need to wake him anymore. Dr. Yorkie comes to see us in the morning and he's not very happy.

Gilbert is yellowish.

**EDWARD**

Just after I've dropped Carlie at daycare, my phone rings. I'm actually on my way to Tiffany's, where I plan to buy something for my beautiful wife.

Who is very distraught as she talks.

"Dr. Yorkie just tested him and says it's definitely jaundice," she tells me. "I was really just planning to go out with him so he gets some sunlight, and now he'll be receiving phototherapy." She sighs heavily.

"I'm coming over," I say. "I'll be there in twenty minutes."

Gilbert is already under the fluorescent lamps when I arrive. Bella is next to him, stroking his little belly. He's wearing diapers and eye patches, lying there in the blue light in a warmer.

"Hey." I go to them and kiss her.

"Hey." She smiles wanly.

"Well, he doesn't look all _that_ yellow," I try to lift her spirits.

"No, but his bilirubin levels speak a clear language. Dr. Yorkie isn't concerned though. But he'll have to stay at the hospital at least three more days."

"Oh no…"

I grab a stool and roll it to her, then sit down. Our baby doesn't look uncomfortable, sleeping peacefully in the light. I join Bella's hand and stroke his little body. My hand looks like a giant's next to his tiny feet and hands.

"He said we could get a Biliblanket to use at home," Bella says. She looks so tired.

"And do you want to come home?" I ask, already knowing her answer.

"I don't know," she shrugs unhappily. "He'll be here for a few more days, and I'd like to feed him, but I can't sit next to him twenty-four hours a day, can I?"

"No, definitely not," I agree. "You can be here during the day, or we share."

"I just…" She swallows, tears pooling in her eyes. "I can't bear the thought of leaving him alone…"

"I know, baby." I wrap the arm that's not on Gilbert around her. I kiss her cheek. "Four days."

"It'll be hell to go home without him…"

"I know." I kiss her temple. "I know, love."

Gilbert stirs. He looks so helpless that my throat congeals. He utters a heartbreaking little cry.

"I guess he's hungry," Bella says. "Do you think I can take him out?"

"We'll ask one of the nurses," I reply, and just then, Beth comes to us. She is a middle-aged woman with a cheerful and calm disposition. She has a warm smile.

Gilbert's cries get louder.

"Can I take him out?" Bella asks.

"I'm afraid not, Mrs. Cullen. He's only been under the lamps for an hour. But you can, and should, bottle-feed him. He should stay under the lights for at least four to six hours. In between those intervals, you can breastfeed him, and kangaroo him. All that goes, of course, for you as well, Dr. Cullen." She smiles. "Except the breastfeeding part, I mean."

Edward chuckles.

Ten minutes later, he is bottle-feeding our son, who looks quite content. And so does Edward, who has the most tender and reverent look in his eyes as Gilbert's hand wraps around his pinkie.

Katie declared me to be good to go in the morning, right before Dr. Yorkie diagnosed Gilbert. We both agree that it makes no sense for me to stay at the hospital, though I do plan to spend the majority of my time with Gilbert.

We tell him good-bye and pack up my things, but before we leave, I have to return to the preemies' station and touch him again.

By the time we've left, it's noon, so Edward drops me off at home before collecting the girls. I settle down on the sofa. As a matter of fact, I feel a bit faint. I'm not sure if it's the fact that I woke so frequently at night, or the strain of the birth, or the after-effects, but I roll myself into a ball and fall asleep.

Muffled whispers.

"No," Edward says softly. "Mommy needs to rest. Come on, we'll make fish sticks for lunch, okay?"

I fall back into white clouds of numbness.

Warm fur tickles my bare feet. I open my eyes a little. It's getting dark outside. The house is quiet but for the low purr of Georgie as he nestles between my legs.

I'm terribly thirsty.

I grab my phone from the coffee table. Six-thirty.

I sit up slowly and rub my eyes.

Where are Edward and the girls? The house is never this silent.

I wanted to be at the hospital by five, since they don't allow visitors in the neonatal ward after six.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

Why didn't he wake me?

And where _is _he?

Right then, I can hear the key turn in the front door and the excited babbling of our daughters filling the front hall, with Edward's deep voice sprinkled in between. They all sound very happy as their voices get nearer.

"He doesn't look sick," Lizzie says. "Just small."

"Baby boy," Carlie exclaims.

I can hear them bypass the living room and go to the kitchen. I get up, feeling slightly dizzy, and follow them. The girls are wearing their Hello Kitty house shoes and Edward has on his fuzzy black slippers. He loves to go barefoot, but tries to be a good example for his daughters. After all, we're approaching fall, and little girls need to keep their feet warm.

They're preparing dinner, it seems. Edward is rinsing some salad, while Lizzie is handing him a bell pepper. Carlie is climbing on the low bench beneath the window that overlooks the backyard to reach our grey cat, Eric.

None of them notices me as I lean against the doorframe, watching.

Only when Eric jumps down and struts over to me does Carlie giggle, "Mommy!"

"Baby, hi!" Edward looks up and smiles beautifully. He walks over to me. "I thought you were still sleeping."

"Mommy," Lizzie beams. "I fed Gilly!"

**EDWARD**

Oh… no.

No, that didn't sit well with Bella.

"You… You were at the hospital?" She swallows. I can tell that she's going to cry. "Without me?"

"Baby." I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head, but she doesn't respond, her arms hanging limply at her sides. "You were so tired, and there's not much we can do right now, so I figured – "

"Not much we can do?" She looks aghast. "What do you mean by that? You sound like he's dead."

"Of course that's not what I meant. I meant that I want you to regain your strength, because you'll need it once our little boy comes home."

"And have you considered that he might need me _now_?" Tears are springing from her eyes. She looks totally devastated. So small, so frail.

"Of course he needs you, Bella," I murmur. "But you need to recuperate…"

"What I need," she says, her voice shaking, "is my son." A sob escapes her lungs and she turns and heads upstairs. I hear the bedroom door being closed.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

I turn back to our girls, who luckily haven't understood any of this. Carlie is looking at a book and Lizzie has climbed on her little stool and is dipping her finger into the salad dressing.

"Lizzie?" I call softly, and she turns with a cute frown. She knows she's not allowed to use the kitchen appliances without Bella or me nearby, so she feels caught. I cross the distance between us.

"How's the dressing?"

She scrunches her nose. "It'th really thour!"

I can't help but smile. The half lemon I squeezed in has made her lisp reappear.

"Lizzie," I say, lifting her from the stool and holding her close. We're at eye level. "I know you're a very, very good big sister. Today proved that."

She grins proudly, the gap from her baby tooth showing.

"So, I need you to look after Carlie for a bit while I go upstairs and talk to Mommy. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Daddy." She nods earnestly.

"That's great. I thought, maybe you'd like to watch _Pete's Dragon_ for a bit?"

"Yay!"

Having settled the girls in front of the TV, I make my way upstairs. I can hear Bella's sobs even from the other side of the door, and it tugs at my heart.

"Bella?"

The room is dark but for the yellow shine from her bedside lamp. She has pulled the covers over her ears and is sobbing, her whole body shaking under her self-made wall of protection.

"Bella… Baby…" I sit by her side and tentatively reach out for her, placing my palm on her trembling back. She doesn't fight me, so I start running my hand up and down in a soothing manner.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, love, you must know that. I was…" I sigh deeply. "I guess I was just thinking like a man, you know? Being practical about stuff? I thought I'd kill three birds with one stone. See Gilbert, entertain the girls, and give you time and space to relax."

I run my hand a little higher, over her shoulder blades and to her neck.

"I'm sorry," I say, "I didn't think about how left out that would make you feel."

"I… I…" she sobs, momentarily unable to get out a coherent word.

I lie down next to her and wrap my arm around her, just holding her, murmuring quietly until she calms a little.

"Bella… Bella…" I whisper. "You're so strong, so beautiful. I love you so much. So much. I'm so, so sorry…"

She sniffles loudly before she draws a deep breath.

"I just feel so useless."

"_Useless_?" I whisper. I kiss her wet cheek. "How can you feel useless? You just brought a human being into this world. I am completely in awe of you."

"A rat can do that," she mumbles, and breaks into another succession of sobs.

_Oh my God, fuck those fucking hormones! I am so sorry she has to go through this._

"No rat, Bella, can do what you do." I kiss her neck. I pull her a little closer, and gradually, her sobs subside. I kiss her ear, her temple, her hair, murmuring that I love her, until she turns in my arms. Her pale face is swollen and blotched, and I've never loved her more.

"Rats are very intelligent," she sniffles.

"You're so beautiful." I kiss her nose. "I'm sorry we went without you. I wasn't thinking. I'm an idiot, but you know that."

"You're not an idiot," she mumbles. "You're perfect at everything you do."

"Yeah, we just saw that."

Bella sniffles again and snuggles in closer.

"What did he look like?"

"Better," I say honestly. "He drank very well, and from Lizzie's own hand!"

She chuckles softly.

"That's actually great. How did Carlie react?"

_When Bella and I had been together for eight months, she thought, for one night, that she was pregnant. She was horrified, and in the long talk that ensued, confessed to me that she couldn't see herself as a mother. _

I decide to tell her what I'm really thinking.

"Actually, I think that, for Carlie, it might be helpful to have you back, but not have Gilbert here at once. I mean, we're talking about three more days. But she's a toddler, and… I don't know…"

I run a hand through my hair, feeling rather clumsy.

"Yeah, I get you," Bella says after a moment. She stretches upward so she can place a kiss on my lips.

We're silent for a long moment, but it's not unpleasant. We're close, feeling each other breathe, listening to all the things that words cannot explain.

"I love you," she whispers into my neck.

"I love you too, Bella. You and Lizzie and Carlie and Gilly. With all my heart."

She kisses my neck again, but can't prevent the giggle that escapes her.

"We will_ not_ call him Gilly!"

-o-

A month later, life has returned to a normal insofar as that I am back to work and Bella and the children have developed a routine.

Gilbert's development makes us happy every day. He's a little fighter.

Since he was born, he has gained two and a half pounds. He's still bald, but he's a totally different person from the helpless little bundle he was. His eyes are focused now, and he nurses with a big appetite. He sleeps for three hours, and I try to step in for Bella whenever my schedule allows.

She went to see Dr. Banner the other day, who prescribed a very mild antidepressant after Bella kept crying and feeling low even three weeks after the delivery. We'll have to wait and see if the medication works, but so far, I like to believe that Bella is more stable.

She smiles as she tickles my chin.

"You didn't answer my question," she says.

"Yes," I reply, and so she feeds me another grape.

It's after nine. The girls are asleep, and Gilbert had dinner twenty minutes ago, so Bella decided we'd have a picnic in bed. She also decided that she was allowed a glass of wine since I don't have to work tomorrow and will take over the nightly feeding.

Her finger strokes my lower lip as she feeds me the grape and I can't restrain myself from licking it – her finger, that is, not the grape.

"Mmm," she sighs.

I'm sure she has no idea how absolutely sexy she looks in my pajama top, the upper buttons of which are open because she didn't bother with them after feeding Gilbert. Her hair has a chestnut shine in the warm glow of the lamps, and her large eyes are luminous.

The past weeks have been stressful but also filled with so much love and happiness. We have three healthy kids, and we have each other. Bella's depression is lifting, and she is able to smile and laugh again as much as she used to.

I grab her hand and kiss each of her fingertips.

"I love you," I whisper in between kisses.

She cups my cheek in her hand and runs her thumb over my ear.

"I love you," she repeats.

We smile at each other, nothing but tenderness for each other between us.

She feeds me another grape, then takes a sip of wine. Ella Fitzgerald's velvety voice in the background is like sweet syrup, like cotton candy.

When our lips meet, it's slow and dreamy. Despite the ballyhoo of the last weeks, we've been very close physically. It's always been that way when Bella doesn't feel good, as if the bodily contact calms or reassures her. We made out heavily last week, which ended with our hands satisfying each other while our mouths couldn't part.

Bella's tongue licks over my lips before it comes out to play with mine. I pull her closer, as close as possible. She's so soft and warm, her mouth is wet and inviting, and my heart is beating wildly. Bella's fingers sneak into my hair, massaging my scalp in the most delicious way.

Our breathing is heavy when we part just enough to whisper against each other's lips, and they're little nonsensical words and endearments.

Her hands run up and down my chest, over my shoulders and back, as if they were discovering my body for the first time. I roam her neck with my lips, her collarbone, her breasts. So sweet, so rich…

She shudders and sighs when she feels my tongue, carefully circling around her nipple, and she surprises me when she fiercely grabs my shoulder and moans deeply.

Thus encouraged, I continue my gentle teasing, licking and lapping, enjoying myself like a kid in a candy store.

"Edwa… ah, my God…"

Her nails dig into my back.

Seconds later, she moves and pushes me on my back, straddling me. She opens the remaining buttons of the pajama top and throws it aside, grinding against my erection before she pulls at the other half of the pajamas, which are covering my lower body.

"Bella… Bella…" I am panting, giddy with want. "We… shouldn't…"

"Fuck that," she murmurs as my pants land somewhere next to the bed. "We talked about it last week, Edward. I'm okay. I'm good."

We did talk about it – argue about it, as a matter of fact. There was no scientific evidence that a woman needed to wait to have sex for six weeks after delivery, Bella proclaimed, given that she felt well and had suffered no cuts or tearing. I plainly denied her, which ended with us giving each other hand jobs. Bella acquiesced to wait one more week.

The week is over.

She bends down to kiss me, a voluptuous sex goddess whose only goal is to drive me into madness. Her hair tickles my neck and her breasts touch my chest. I can feel her wetness on my stomach. She runs her tongue over my lower lip, then gently bites me.

"I want you, Edward."

"I want you too," I protest meekly, "but…"

"No. No, no… No buts." She kisses me again, reaching between us and wrapping her fingers around me.

"Ungh…"

"I need you," she murmurs, her hot breath teasing my skin. "Please…"

"Promise… Ah… aaah…"

She's massaging my balls and for a second, I have forgotten my own name.

"If you don't… don't feel good…" I moan.

"I will feel good, darling. And so will you."

With that, she releases me and sits up, unceremoniously digging through my nightstand for a condom. She unrolls it with a little devilish smile and then places me right where she wants me.

She lowers herself slowly, agonizingly slowly, and I watch her. She's gorgeous, her eyes closed and her cheeks flushed, biting her lip. I can tell that she wants to let loose and ride me wildly, but first she needs to get used to the sensation.

"Go slow," I murmur.

And she does, and it's a heavenly torture. She lets me in only so far, then withdraws, repeating the procedure over and over again, each time drawing me in a little deeper, until finally, we're joined.

It's almost too much to take, and I want her to move, to fuck me relentlessly, but then I don't. I want her to do this at her own pace.

"Okay?" I wheeze.

"Yeah…" Her voice is like dripping honey.

She starts to move, and I watch her, and nothing has ever been more beautiful than my wife, my Bella, in her pleasure. She opens her eyes and we look at each other, and braid our fingers together. It's so much more than just a physical act; it's like a religious experience. We are made for each other in every way. That I am certain of.

**BELLA**

I collapse on Edward's chest, sweaty and breathless and spent. He is fighting for breath as well, his fingers relaxing from their grip on my butt cheeks.

"Good Lord," he sighs. "You're incredible…"

I can't reply, since I'm trying to get a grip on my raging heart. I place a wet kiss on his chest.

"I love you," I pant.

"Baby. I love you so much."

We both flinch when he pulls out. It felt so much better when he was inside me. So close.

He turns swiftly to get rid of the condom, and returns to me so we are face to face, entwining our arms and legs. I place my head in the nook between his chin and shoulder.

This is perfection.

I'm sleepy.

He smells so good.

I exhale.

When I wake, it's still dark but for the bedside lamp we never turned off before we fell asleep. Edward is sitting in the old-fashioned rocking chair by the window, feeding our baby. I don't even know why I woke, because it's so quiet.

Maybe Edward was alerted when Gilbert cried. Or, more likely, I woke because the rocking chair creaked.

I watch him as he holds it to our tiny son's lips, and my heart wants to fly out of my chest.

He looks so happy, so relaxed. I can make out Gilbert's little form, and Edward's long legs stretched out, and his feet.

I love Edward's feet.

They're big, size twelve. He has long toes.

He's whispering, but it's so soft that I can't understand him.

I'm so tired that my eyes are drooping.

My heart is brimming with love as I go back to sleep.

-o-

"You're kidding me."

My frown is deep as I take in Edward's costume, with Gilbert in the carrier on his chest.

I have accepted the fact that this year's Halloween will see Lizzie as a cop. She chose it. She adores her granddad.

Carlie as a dog? Um, yeah, sure.

_But dressing up our six-week-old son as a vampire?_

Okay, to be honest, they look totally cute. Gilbert has a black cape, and a black woolen hat, while Edward completes the cape he's wearing with plastic fangs. His hair looks crazier than ever, and I wonder what he was aspiring to when he created that look. He totally looks like a mad artist.

Gilbert is asleep.

"I'm very serious indeed," he grins, and I have to press my hand on my mouth to silence my shrieks of laughter so I don't wake Gilbert.

Edward steps to me and places a sweet kiss on my lips – thankfully, without fangs. The girls are mingling with everyone else in the living room. It's like Halloween is Gilbert's coming-out party. Our whole family is here – well, excepting Dad and Sue.

Emmett and Seth declared that this would be a dads and kids' night of trick-or-treating. Emmett is King Kong, and we all laughed when he came through the door in his borrowed costume. Anna is dressed up as Donald Duck, running around "Quack, quack, quackin." Lizzie runs after her and tries to arrest her.

Violet is a violet, with Seth as her watering can and Collin as a bumblebee.

Carlisle and Aro are dressed up as Muppets Statler and Waldorf, and when they came in, I laughed so much that I almost peed myself.

Finally, and after so many years, those brothers have developed a sense of humor! I don't know if it is because of all the children around them or whether they've finally had a talk, but things are definitely easier between them.

I take a deep breath before I set down the tray holding glasses filled with berry juice pretending to be blood. There are licorice worms and spider cupcakes and gingerbread ghosts.

Esme hands me a glass of punch and the doorbell rings.

It's Alice and Jasper, dressed up as Hermione and Harry Potter. We're going to have a girls' night when the men are gone, but I'm not surprised that Alice is wearing a costume. It's just her.

"Hey, little man." She kisses first Gilbert and then Edward, while Jasper gives me a hug. The kids are shrieking, and from the corner of my eye, I can see Emmett holding Violet upside down.

I take a sip of my punch. Wow, I can tell that Rose made it. It's pretty strong, so I'll stick to a few sips.

Half an hour later, the guys have left and we're lounging in the living room with the fire on, talking, laughing, having snacks and drinks. Alice entertains us with stories about her last fashion show, and Rose blows off some steam about work. Esme and Lilly are in the corner of our large sofa, and Lilly is teaching her how to use Facebook on my laptop.

I feel quite happy. Edward was so excited when they left. He loves his daughters to bits, but he totally enjoys having a boy. Last night, I caught him whispering into Gilbert's ear, and when I asked, he said that they were talking about "manly things." I couldn't help but giggle, because Edward was wearing his fuzzy slippers and had apparently forgotten the fact that Lizzie had made little braids in his hair and had decorated them with pink hair ties.

_Manly things, indeed._

But then later, when he came from the shower and dropped the towel he was wearing around his hips, I was reminded again that he was a manly man.

_What a man…_

"What are you dreaming about, Bella? Your eyes are all glazed over," Alice smiles. "Oh, gosh, I know it! You're thinking about – " At the last moment, she remembers Lilly's presence and spells it. "S. E. X."

"Auntie Ali, I'm turning fourteen next month, you know."

Rose chuckles at Alice's sheepish expression.

Esme shakes her head and smiles.

"Maybe I was," I admit and raise one eyebrow. "Jealous?"

"Absolutely not," Alice replies grandly, and we all laugh before we move on to other subjects.

The guys returned after an hour when it began to rain. Violet needed to pee, and Gilbert was getting fussy. Carlisle and Aro started a fight about their Halloween tradition when they were boys. Carlisle states that they used to go trick-or-treating with their dad, Edward, while Aro declares that they went with their uncle Anthony.

Collin takes Violet to the bathroom and Edward hands me our crying son before heading to the kitchen to warm his bottle.

The rest of the party settles down with hot chocolate and beer.

I peel off Gilbert's hat and cape and rock him in my arms, cooing. He may have been a difficult eater during the first days of his life, but his appetite knows no boundaries now. When Edward returns with his bottle, I place him back into Daddy's arms. Edward loves feeding him almost as much as he loves to sit with us when I nurse him.

"Hey, babe." Seth sits down on the arm of the sofa next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder.

"Did you boys have fun?"

"Have you seen our yield?"

They brought back a ton of candy, which is presently being divided into five separate heaps at the dining room table by Lizzie and Anna. I hope they are not stuffing themselves too much while doing so. I don't want to stay up all night while Lizzie pukes.

"It was great," he says, adding in a louder voice, "though Emmett tends to ham it up a bit, if you ask me."

"Hey, hey," Emmett protests. He has taken off his King Kong costume, which must have been pretty hot. "I was merely convincing this old lady that we needed some extra candy for our baby vampire here." He grins at Gilbert, who is drinking contentedly, oblivious to his role. Edward's expression is filled with tenderness as he watches our son.

Carlie climbs into my lap. Her dog makeup is coming off and she is getting sleepy. It was an exciting day for her. I hug her close and kiss her soft hair.

I sigh. Despite Gilbert's arrival, she's still my baby.

Our attention gets caught by Emmetts's booming voice once again as he recounts the highlights of their trip. Carlie falls asleep. Edward burps Gilbert before he puts him into Esme's arms. Seth gets up and places a blanket over Violet, who is falling asleep in his husband's arms.

We are this wonderful, big family, sitting by the crackling fire, having a good moment together.

Edward wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek.

"Happy, love?" His voice is soft, tickling my skin.

"So happy."

"Me too."

I turn my head so I can look at him. Green eyes shining with love. This is all he ever wanted, and more than I ever knew I could have.

Our lips meet in a tender kiss.

This is our perfect moment.

**ooOoOoOoo**

**Thank you for reading,**

**Xoxo**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	56. Outtake Number Cat

**GEORGIE AND ERIC MOVE IN**

Edward and Lizzie are at the playground, and Carlie is in her carrier on Edward's chest, so I use the time off to be selfish: I take a nap. And it's so fucking wonderful to just close my eyes and drift off, knowing that no one will cry, or place sticky fingers on my cheek, or throw up or…

Sleep.

Wonderful, deep sleep.

The sound of my phone, which is always next to me, wakes me.

I don't recognize the number, so I put it down, pull the sheets over my ears and try to nod off again. Until the phone rings… again.

"Hello?"

"Hello!" The voice is warm and deep, and enthusiastic.

"Um, yeah, hello. This is Bella Cullen."

"Oh, Bella, how lovely to talk to you! This is me, Sheryl Cope!"

I laugh. "Hey! How are you?" I sit up and yawn.

"I'm fine. Lots of work. Listen, Bella, let me cut right to it. You know I have my Willy…"

Yeah, how could I ever forget about her farting dog. Okay, this might be interesting. I rub my eyes awake.

"Yes?"

"Bella. I know you have a cat, and –"

"No, I don't."

"That huge…" She becomes silent. "Oh. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, he died a year ago. He was old. He had a good life."

"Okay, Bella?"

"Yes?" I finally sit up. I have a headache.

"Can you come over?"

"Is there anything wrong? Of course, I'll come over…"

"No, silly," she laughs. Damn woman. "Just like, one of these days? I have these two boys, and Willy keeps barking them away…"

"Boys?"

"Grey ones. Brothers. Two years old."

"Grey… _What_?"

"Cats."

"Oh. Oh, I see."

"Yeah, and no one wants them, and I remembered that you told me you have a garden? So I thought they might come and live with you!"

What?

_What?_

I always knew she was crazy.

oOo

Three days later, Edward and I return to our house with a carrier that holds two very shy and very pretty cats. Alice and Lizzie squeal eagerly. Carlie is fast asleep in her room, but the baby monitor is next to Alice.

"Shh, sweetheart," Edward tells Lizzie.

Alice pouts comically. She likes to be a clown. But she's silent.

"Okay," Edward says. "We'll set the carrier in the guest room."

Long faces.

"In the guestroom," Edward repeats. "They need to get used to us. But, Lizzie?"

"Yes?" A toothless grin and two dark eyes.

"Would you mind going upstairs and check that the litter box is okay? And that there is water in their bowls?"

"Yes, daddy!" She scampers off.

And this is how Georgie and Eric move in with us.

oOo


	57. Christmas Outtake

**oOo A VERY CULLEN CHRISTMAS oOo**

**EDWARD**

Bella's body is much too warm and soft. I don't want to get up. I don't.

_Maybe we can just skip today?_

I place a single kiss on her neck and follow it with a dozen more. Her skin is so smooth. She sighs, still half-asleep.

"Hey," I whisper.

"Mmm," she groans.

"Baby…"

I kiss her shoulder, and she sighs, happily this time.

A blood-curling scream ends everything before it starts.

"I'll get him," I sigh. "I'll get him."

Gilbert's tiny face is red as he cries desperately.

"Hey," I murmur soothingly. "Hey, buddy. Don't worry. I'm taking you to Mommy, okay?"

Maybe we should have waited before we moved him to his own room. Or maybe it doesn't matter, because he sleeps with us anyway, whenever he's unhappy.

"Oh, come here," Bella coos as she settles him at her breast. "Mmm, yes. Bon appétit, my darling."

Yeah.

I try to remember the last time my wife spoke to me like that.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but life's been a bit… hectic lately. Ben went on a much-deserved vacation, and with a six-year-old, a toddler, and a newborn, we've been busy.

Also, Bella hasn't been feeling too well over the past two weeks or so, fighting a cold and a bit of post-partum depression, which means that I needed to step in in addition to my shifts at the hospital. Having three small kids is wonderful, but also very, very taxing.

Sometimes, I'm just so tired I can't think clearly.

I close my eyes. Only five more minutes…

"Edward?"

"Mmm."

"Edward. I need you to get up. We're supposed to be at your parents' in a few hours, and there's still so much to do..."

"Wha-what?"

I open my eyes.

Bella is sitting on my side of the bed in sweatpants and a T-shirt. Carlie is clinging to her leg.

"Daddy!"

"What's the time?"

"Eleven." She shakes her head. "I couldn't bear to wake you."

"You should have…"

I sit up and rub my eyes.

"Daddy, Daddy…"

Carlie , who is still in her pajamas, climbs into my lap.

"Hey, little bunny." I kiss her hair. She smells wonderful, clean and baby-like.

"Grampa?" she asks.

"Yes, we're going to see Grampa and Grandma."

I yawn.

"Come on, Carliebaby," Bella says. "Daddy's going to take a shower, and we'll get you dressed."

Carlie doesn't want to go and pouts while she holds onto my thigh.

"_No._ Daddy!"

"Come on, sweetheart."

Bella looks so tired. She has grey smudges under her eyes.

My job is extremely demanding, but I know that she is fighting through her days just as hard as I am.

Carlie is about to throw a tantrum, but I still take the time to grab Bella's hand and kiss it. She looks up, surprised.

"I love you," I say.

Her face softens. She cocks her head. Her huge, dark eyes show me that this is exactly what she needs to hear.

"Daddy!"

"I love you too."

I kiss her.

oOo

My parents' house looks very festive even from the outside. There's the brightly glowing sculpture of a reindeer in the front yard, and Christmas lights in the trees.

I park the car and Bella and I gather three kids, Gilbert's stroller, an obscene amount of gifts, a diaper bag, and a Tupperware container with cookies.

Lizzie is bouncing up and down in her little snow boots, singing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." Carlie sniffles as I carry her to the front door. I just hope her epic cold isn't going to return.

Gilbert is fast asleep in his carrier on Bella's chest.

The door opens and Mom smiles at us.

"Look who's here!"

"Grandma!"

Lizzie runs to her, and I set Carlie down so she can do the same, stumbling after her big sister.

Dad appears, and we all hug and say hello. Emmett and Lily join us, and there's more commotion.

Coats are shed and I help Carlie with her boots. Lizzie is already running to the living room.

Just when I've said hello to my sister, Dale, and Anna, Alice and Jasper arrive, and the ballyhoo of greeting starts all over.

"Good to see you, little brother!" Alice hugs me tightly. "And where are my nieces and nephews?"

Alice and Jasper never wanted children, but she thoroughly enjoys spoiling her four nieces and two nephews.

I follow her to the living room, which is dominated by an enormous Christmas tree with tons of gifts underneath it. Alice, Lizzie, and Anna settle in one corner of the big sofa, giggling. Dale is talking to my dad, and Rose and Jasper join Mom in the kitchen. Bella is handing over Gilbert to Emmett.

Though our youngest is developing perfectly well and there are no remaining difficulties from his premature birth, he's tiny in Emmett's arms.

Emmett, who looks like a quarterback, but has the mushy heart of a baby bunny, coos at my son.

Gilbert sticks out his tongue and smiles.

"Yeah, that's my man!"

Bella smiles and shakes her head.

"When are you having him christened?"

"In February," I say.

"Daddy!" Carlie comes running on short legs.

"Hey, sweetheart."

I lift her in my arms.

"Havey pweasants?"

Her cheeks are rosy with anticipation.

"Yes, Carlieboo." I kiss her cheek. "You're getting presents today. You remember why that is?"

"Quithmath!"

"Exactly. What do you think Uncle Emmett is getting? Do you think he wrote a letter to Santa?"

"I sure did," Emmett laughs.

"And I even believe you," I chuckle.

"Gilly pweasants?" Carlie inquires. Emmett looks at me for help, since she asked him.

"If Gilbert gets presents," I clarify.

"You call him Gilly?" Emmett's eyebrows meet his hairline.

"The girls do."

"What? You want him to turn out…" Emmett lowers his voice and spells it. "G.A.Y.?"

"Em," I laugh. "I don't think it works that way. I grew up with two older sisters too, if you remember."

"Yeah, but they didn't call you Gilly!"

"They dressed me up," I say. "I'm not sure they even realized I wasn't a girl. Still, I didn't become G.A.Y."

"You sure?" He looks at me doubtfully, but I know he's joking.

"Ask Bella," I smirk, and Emmett rolls his eyes. "Besides, if he does – so what?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Emmett concedes, his dimples showing.

"Daddy." A pudgy hand pats my cheek, and I know Carlie wants to be set down, so I let her.

Five minutes later, Mom calls out.

"It's time, guys!"

**BELLA**

Christmas with the Cullens always is a splendid affair, and now that there are six grandchildren, I think Esme enjoys herself even more than in earlier days. The number of presents is overwhelming, but I know that she and Carlisle – and Alice – won't be deterred from spoiling the kids. Since "the kids" also include her three children and their spouses, everyone is unwrapping presents and thanking each other for a really long time.

Edward is sitting with Carlie, helping her with her new princess dress. She also got a tea set, and she hands her granddad a tiny cup, which he pretends to drink from. Anna and Lizzie are comparing their Barbies' clothing. Gilbert is asleep in Alice's arms.

Christmas music is playing and everyone is drinking egg nog, champagne, beer, or children's punch. Since I fed Gilbert before we left and we have an ample supply of pumped milk, I have a glass of bubbly before I switch to the punch.

Edward smiles at me from his spot on the floor. He looks delicious in a crisp white button-down and dress pants. He assists Carlie as she tries to put on her sparkly shoes – a gift from Auntie Alice. Carlie dances off toward her grandma, and Edward leans his head against my leg. I run my fingers through his silky hair.

"I love you," I mouth, and he smiles and kisses my knee.

The vision of his head next to my leg makes me think of the other day, when the children were spending the night with Uncle Seth and Uncle Collin. We made out on the sofa, and Edward ended up with his face between my thighs and…

"Mommy, Daddy! Look!"

Lizzie's smile reaches from ear to ear as she shows us a small pink bed.

"It's for Pooh to sleep in!"

Her first toy still is her favorite one – Edward's old Winnie-the-Pooh doll. By now, Winnie has a rocking chair, numerous suits and dresses – gender is delightfully fluid for Lizzie – and his own piano.

"That's marvelous, honey." Edward draws her into his arms.

"Lizzie," I say, "would you like to look for Daddy's present from Mommy?"

Her eyes light up as she nods, her pigtails bobbing up and down.

"It's wrapped in blue paper," I help her. "And it has a red bow."

Since most of the gifts have been unwrapped, she quickly manages to locate it and returns with a large rectangular box.

"Thank you." Edward smiles as he unties the bow.

His expression becomes defenseless and tender as he sees what's inside.

"Baby… That's so beautiful." He gets up and sits next to me, soft lips enveloping mine.

Seth took photos of Lizzie, Carlie, Gilbert, and me the week before last. He came to our house when Edward was at work. It was a sunny day, and he made pictures of us in the living room, sunbeams painting the scene brightly.

Seth took three hundred pictures in forty-five minutes. The one I chose shows us on the sofa, Carlie kissing my cheek while Lizzie looks at her little brother in my arms. The photo shows pure love.

Edward's kiss continues until a scream from Alice's direction pulls us apart. Our son has woken.

Edward gets up to warm his bottle.

**EDWARD**

Dinner is a fun affair, loud and filled with laughter. I'm sitting between Mom and Lizzie, who is giggling with delight about something her Aunt Alice whispered into her ear just now. I'm helping myself to a second plate of turkey, mashed potatoes, and gravy, assuring Mom for the third time that everything is delicious.

Bella smiles happily as she chats with Emmett, and I'm glad to see her so relaxed and carefree. Gilbert is asleep after his dinner, and Carlie is being entertained by her granddad.

I know that she loves our children like nothing and no one on earth, but I also know that she misses her work. She was crying the other night, totally spent after a day with a screaming Gilbert, Carlie, who was fighting a fever, and Lizzie, who was just desperate for her Mom's attention.

Bella, who I believe was born to be an actress, misses her profession. I thought about quitting my job again for a few months, the way I did when Carlie was six months old, but I'm afraid not even Demetri would be very understanding if I did that again so soon.

I know how Bella feels, because I've been there, taking care of our girls when she was working. I loved it, but I was also afraid to lose IQ points after some time of spending day after day with a toddler and an infant. It was crying and spit, poop, Pooh, and pediatricians. And very little sleep.

Now I know what a luxury it is to return home at night to three healthy, happy, well-fed children.

Bella has given her agent, Laurent, the green light to start looking for work again, but she wants to start small. Some voice-overs, maybe, or a supporting role in a play.

We could afford a nanny – that's not the point – but Bella and I agree on the subject: we're lucky enough to be able to afford that one of us stays with our children. We don't want to miss their years of growing up.

"Uncle Edward," Lily pipes up from the other end of the table, "are you going to play the piano later?"

"Um, yeah, I might, I guess." I shrug. "It's up to you guys."

"I think it would be lovely, Edward," Dad says with a genuine smile.

As a teenager, I wanted to make music my profession, but Carlisle was strictly against it. His words right now may not mean much to anyone else, but they mean a lot to me.

Well, and to Mom, who rubs my upper arm.

So I do play the piano after dinner, and everyone applauds when I finish "Silent Night."

Bella kisses my cheek when I get up, and slides her arms around my waist. She looks up at me, and my heart clenches at her beauty. Her cheeks are rosy, and her lips look seductive. Making sure no one is looking, I give her ass a light squeeze, and she giggles.

I kiss her, drowning in her taste.

"What would you think," she whispers against my lips, her breath teasing me, "about leaving the kids with your parents? I mean, Lizzie is spending the night at Anna's anyway, and everyone is coming over tomorrow to have brunch with us. I'm sure Esme and Carlisle wouldn't mind…"

Her fingers are splayed over my chest and she strokes me gently.

I swallow.

"As a matter of fact," Bella adds, kissing my chin, "I know they won't mind, because I asked Esme earlier."

"We didn't bring any change of clothes," I mumble.

"Oh? What do you think is in that extra bag?"

"You planned this?" I pull her even closer and bury my face in her hair.

"I was just making sure we have everything, should the chance occur." She punctuates her words with small kisses.

"God, I love you."

**BELLA**

Edward is sitting with Gilbert in the crook of his arm after I fed him. Our youngest is asleep again.

Carlie is excited at the thought of staying at her grandparents for the night. They have a spare room for when the grandchildren are sleeping over, and Carlie loves it when Carlisle reads her a bedtime story.

It's shortly after nine, and I'm chatting with Alice while the McCartys are getting ready to leave.

Carlie is in my lap, her eyes droopy after a long and exciting day. I'm stroking her hair.

"How's the job hunt going?" Alice inquires.

"There's an audition in January," I say. "It's for Nora in _A Doll's House_."

Alice's grey-blue eyes become wide.

"I thought you were looking for small parts? Nora is a major role!"

"I know." I shrug. "Let's see what comes of it."

"Does Edward even know?" Her lopsided smile actually reminds me of her brother.

"Not yet," I hedge, and Alice laughs and pats my arm.

Carlie twitches in my lap.

"I guess I should get this little lady to bed," I say.

"I'll come with you," Alice offers, and I kiss her cheek, just because she's the sweetest aunt in the world.

Two hours later, we're finally home. Edward draws us a bath and pours glasses of champagne. I'm already soaking in the water when he joins me with a kiss.

"Hey, baby," he murmurs against my temple and wraps his arms and legs around me.

"Hey," I sigh, relaxing into him.

"Merry Christmas, my love."

I can feel him relax as well.

The past weeks have been quite stressful with Christmas and everything.

Oh, who am I kidding? The past _months_ have been stressful. Three small children, two thriving careers, one needy and depressed Bella. No partridge in a pear tree though.

"Hmm?"

Edward has developed a way of sensing my moods. He nuzzles my hairline with his nose as he whispers.

"Stop worrying, love. Everything's gonna be okay. Please stop worrying."

I smile and turn my head so I can kiss his chin.

"'kay," I concede.

I grab the two glasses of champagne and hand him one.

"Merry Christmas."

I kiss him before we both take a sip.

Our bath is glorious, and I am unwinding completely with Edward's body and the warm water.

I'm also yawning, which makes Edward chuckle.

"What?" I say. I tickle his knee.

"You're just as tired as I am, baby. What do you think? Let's just enjoy one night of uninterrupted sleep?"

"Yes," I sigh.

For now, the idea of sleep is more inviting than anything else.

Only five minutes later, we're in bed, Edward's front pressed to my back, our breathing becoming low and even.

"I love you," Edward mumbles sleepily. "Sorry…"

I want to ask what he's sorry for, but I'm too tired.

So tired…

**EDWARD**

Mmm… I haven't slept this deep in ages. It's delicious.

Bella is breathing evenly, her head next to my ribcage, her arm splayed over my body.

God, we're both continually exhausted these days.

I glance at the alarm; it's only eight-fifteen. Our family won't be here before noon, and the mere idea of sleeping a little longer is marvelous.

Bella moves slightly, mumbling something.

She's waking, her hand twitching by my side.

And then, it moves to my stomach.

To say that our love life has been explosive these last weeks would be a lie. We've always had an incredibly physical connection, but tiredness and stress and fevers and diaper rashes have kept us from expressing ourselves that way like we used to. Last night proved that.

The children stayed with my parents and my sister, and after a sexy bath, we fell asleep.

"Mmm…" Bella sighs. Her hand moves lower. I gulp.

Her eyelids flutter as she wakes.

"Bella… Love…"

"Mmm… hi…"

Her fingers wander into my pajama pants, and my breath quickens. She peppers my chest with tiny kisses as she starts to move her hand, and it feels so good.

"Oh, baby…"

With her free hand, she manages to pull my pants lower and I help her, swiftly getting rid of them. While I'm at it, I make quick work of her sleep shirt and panties before our lips merge into a long kiss

We're starving for each other's bodies, our caresses fevered and frenzied, our hot whispers expressing the passion we feel for each other. Nothing turns me on like her softness, her smell, the sensation of her smooth skin. She's the most beautiful woman on earth, and I show her with my mouth, my fingers, my tongue.

We moan in unison when I sink into her, staring into each other's eyes.

"I love you," I murmur. "I love you so much…"

"I love you too…"

Her fingers dig into my hair as she pulls me in for another long, wet kiss.

I drown in her. She's everything, everything in my world.

Only when her moans get more high-pitched do I speed up and seconds later, we explode into shooting stars of joy.

"Phew." She smiles as we catch our breath, our bodies slick with sweat.

I capture her lips, and this time, the kiss is sweet.

Her cheeks are rosy and her hair is wild. I skim her collarbone with my nose to inhale her scent before turning to my back. Bella snuggles into my side with her head on my chest.

"I needed that." She grins as she kisses my chest.

"I need you."

I don't care if it's corny.

**BELLA**

Some hours later, we have brunch with the whole family, including Seth, Collin, and Violet. The house is filled with children, laughter, and the scent of Christmas.

Sitting next to Edward, my hand on his knee, I realize that this – this sense of security and love – is my best Christmas gift.

I place a firm kiss on his lips.

"Thank you," I whisper.

**oOo **

**Huge big heartfelt thanks to my wonderful beta dellaterra! **

**Merry Christmas, everyone!**

**oOo**


	58. Outtake Tanya

**A/N: A short outtake ****without**** Bella and Edward. It's about Tanya.**

**The wonderful dellaterra beta'ed this. Thank you so much!**

===oOo===

Tanya Denali stands in front of the mirror and combs her hair. It has become fuller since she's gotten better. She's still seeing her therapist every other week, but her progress has been very good. For the first time in her life, her weight is almost normal. Her mother was appalled when she visited her family in Alaska. She always was the one to push Tanya's career as a model, and it's not easy to accept that Tanya has chosen to leave this lucrative business.

But she did, and she has finished her GED. She's becoming a social worker, attending Hunter College.

Her circle of friends is smaller than it used to be, but they are true friends, not the coke-addicted clique she used to hang out with and party in Milan, Paris and Cape Town. There's Natalie, who she met on her first day of college. She's a lively redhead with a talent for crafting jewelry. They go to the movies on Saturday nights, and sometimes cook together. Then, there's Johnny and his boyfriend Oliver. She met them at a concert a mutual friend was giving. And then, there's Sarah, whom she met during her therapy. Sarah also used to be anorexic, but they found they have a lot more in common than just their illness.

Like Tanya, Sarah got married young and is now divorced. Like Tanya, she's very beautiful and has no real self-confidence. They talk to each other several times a day, and try to meet as frequently as possible.

It was Sarah who persuaded Tanya to enroll into a yoga class that takes place at a studio on 56th East and 11th Street. It's said to be one of the best. Tanya isn't too hot about it, but she'll go there for Sarah's sake.

She throws a pair of sweats and a T-shirt into her bag, as well as warm socks. It's only March, and despite the tiny bits of green creeping through the grey of the city, it's still cold.

Tanya's phone rings, and it's Sarah.

"I'm almost at your place, are you coming down?" she says. Her voice is light and carefree.

Sarah works as an interpreter. Her main language is German, but she also speaks fluent French and Italian. She met her ex-husband while in Germany. He's the CEO of a big law firm in Munich. Sarah moved there when they first got married, but their love wasn't meant to last – which became clear when she found him in his office, where his secretary was busy sucking his cock. They tried to work through their difficulties, but the only thing that changed was that Sarah relapsed into anorexia and ultimately, returned home.

"Yep, on my way," Tanya replies, throwing on a pink leather jacket and a black woolen hat. Her style has changed since the days when she was a model. From the days she was Mrs. Edward Cullen.

They have been divorced for two-and-a- half years now, and parted for almost four. Sometimes, she thinks of him, and always with a feeling of shame and guilt. The demise of their marriage was not his fault, but hers. She was constantly away, partying and taking drugs, destroying not only herself but also his feelings for her.

She was too young back then too. When they married, she was twenty-two and he, thirty-three. He comes from a stable and very WASP-ish background, with a rich family consisting of doctors and lawyers. Tanya never got close to his family, sensing their reservations toward a model who didn't even finish high school, whose parents emigrated from Russia when she'd been two. No old money there.

"Hey, sweetie!"

Sarah hugs and kisses her. She's very chipper and tells Tanya all about the guy she met last night. Her blue eyes twinkle and her dark bangs bob up and down as they make their way to the subway.

"And when are you meeting him?"

"Tomorrow," Sarah says excitedly. "Dinner and a movie."

"Mmm," Tanya laughs. "Classy."

She thinks back to her last boyfriend while Sarah keeps telling her about this wonderful man named George. Tanya dated this Tom dude before Christmas, but it never worked out between them. The only real relationship she ever had was her marriage to Edward.

It was wonderful in the beginning. They traveled and went out, and Tanya felt proud and grown-up to have such a mature and handsome man by her side. He had this calming influence on her. He tried to save her from herself, until the end, when he had reached the end of his resources.

By then, they'd long been separated, and he had been with his new girlfriend. Tanya met them at a charity function about six months ago. They're married now and looked incredibly happy. Edward's new wife – Bella – is very pretty. The exact opposite of Tanya, small and brunette and curvy, with huge dark eyes.

Tanya is tall and thin, with no boobs to show. Her skin is pale and her hair is strawberry blonde. She used to dye it, but it's been back to its natural color for years now.

They have arrived at the subway and make their way down the stairs. Each time Tanya is in the subway, she thinks back to that day she can't remember. All she remembers is that Bella suggested they might have some coffee. That's all. She'll never be sure that it wasn't her that caused her to fall down the flight of concrete stairs. She'll forever be grateful that nothing happened to her.

Tanya sighs. She's been better for a long time, but the things she did during her darkest phase will always haunt her in one way or another.

The subway is crowded and the girls are happy that it's only two stops to their destination. When they step into the street, it's already getting dark. They have no problem in finding the yoga studio, because there are large black letters above the front door.

"_Yoga Factory_," Tanya murmurs and shrugs. "Okay, let's give it a try."

They roll out their yoga mats in the large room. The walls are made of red brick, and the floor is polished wood. The ceilings are very high, the light warm and welcoming. About fifteen other women are waiting with them, chatting and laughing while Tanya takes a deep breath.

The woman behind her gasps.

The yoga instructor has entered the room. He's a beautiful, black man.

"Good evening, ladies," he says. "I'm Amun."

===oOo===

**Thank you for reading!**


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